yourimpactmatters

“Be kind to each other… give of yourself… allow your gifts to be manifest, and let other people to have their gifts instead of expecting them to follow yours. We are all different… we all have different things that we do well. I’m a good teacher; I’m terrible at other things. I can’t be a nurse… not my thing… but I can be a good teacher. And, I can give away sewing knowledge and that is what I love to do. I love to give it away… and if she gets hooked (referring to my daughter who has just finished one of Carol’s, today’s stranger turned friend, week-long sewing camps), then she will teach her daughter… and her daughters will teach their daughters.”

Yes, Carol teaches sewing, quite complex sewing at that, proven by the highly intricate quilt that my daughter made as her camp project. But what is more important in Carol’s example is the precept she communicates.

“Be kind to each other… give of yourself… allow your gifts to be manifest, and let other people to have their gifts instead of expecting them to follow yours. We are all different… we all have different things that we do well,” Carol says as she tells me of students from classes past, many of whom have been learning from her well into their teenage years. “My hope is that they pass it on to everyone around them. And in them, I see the esteem and happiness that learning has brought to their lives.”

Yes again, Carol loves what she does as a teacher of sewing. Yet in speaking with her, and in spending a little time watching just how she interacts with her class, I see more than needle, fabric and thread, I see a dedicated teacher who is planting seeds of confidence, self-esteem and skills to positive outlook. “These kids are our future,” Carol cheers in setting up for talking of the future.

“I don’t think it is going to happen soon…” Carol contemplates, “…but, I think we are going to cross over the hump and get back into kindness. At some point we have to stop hating people and shooting them. To flat-out stop being mean!

I don’t know if we have hit that hump yet, because it’s worse every day… we hear it every day. But I think it will cycle through and I think we will go over the brink and then we will come back. And, when we do, we will eventually end up in kindness. It probably won’t be in our lifetime, but we are planting seeds.

The problem is the scarcity syndrome… too many people worrying that there is not enough in the world for everybody. People are hording and they need to realize that there is plenty for everyone. This world can be a world of abundance, and the more we give away… the more comes back to us. It’s when you hoard that the energy stops.

And right now I think we need to give even more spiritual and emotional than physical. People are discouraged, out of jobs, pay is getting cut back, they’re benefits are getting cut back… so they are holding back and hoarding resources. But the biggest problem is that they are also emotionally hoarding.

I think we are coming to the cusp of where we are at as a people, and we are becoming more willing to open up. And, once we break through that, I think we will go, Oh…! There is a better way to live…! I can be nice to that guy… he has apples and I have oranges… and we can share… as opposed to me keeping all the oranges.”

Carol’s wraps up with a recommendation to us all, “Time… kindness… Just give it away. If you do, I promise it will come back to you.”

Carol, it has been a joy partaking of your energy. And, in leaving your camp, one title comes to mind that can fully describe your presence, you are the “Sewer of Happiness.”

Remember last week when I mentioned that my wife and I were doing a role reversal, well as much as we can while still running a business and redeveloping our website.

We extended it to two weeks. Day’s that have been a great eye-opening to my family, and days that I will do by best to recreate in the raising of my daughter, even though she is still having issues with my needing to double duty at time in doing my part in the workings of our business.

You may also remember our Table Tennis outing several entries ago, where we challenged all who can to attend the “Table Tennis Council” on Saturday, August 25, between the hours of 3:00pm and 7:00pm. A concept inspired by the words of Coach Vahid and his student Joseph.

So as I said, Daddy/Daughter time continues, and inspired by our newly found interest in paddling the zipping Ping Pong ball we decide to head to practice at where else…? The Table Tennis Club, now more formerly known as the “Alan and Sons Table Tennis Club.”

That’s right Alan and Sons, and although Vahid carries his involvement with the establishment with the pride and professionalism of it owner, what I find out this evening is that he is the resident Pro.

And Alan, who I meet this evening is the man behind the scenes in bringing the venue of quick sport to the area.

Now this evening, I had no real intentions of meeting a stranger turned friend in spending time with my kid. Heaven knows she has been very patient in standing by my side for many a 365 interview. But after her dissing me for the tutelage of a much better player than myself, I get the opportunity to grab a few games (no, more like humbling’s) with proprietor Alan, who in less than thirty minutes forces me to bring my game to a whole new level. I’m quickly schooled and have to tell you that table tennis is a very hot sport when it is played as it is intended to be played…

And play we do… I’m completely hooked and with sweat running down my brow, side-barred by Alan’s friend’s requesting his presence for a set of doubles, we do not have time for a 365 interview. And, with Alan’s promise of a follow-up email in answering my questions, he does take pause for a few quick snap shots.

Alan is a gentleman of his word, and as he committed, email we do. For the sake of honesty in interpretation, I give you our complete virtual dialogue. Hope you enjoy the vicarious read.

“Hi Alan,

It was an absolute pleasure meeting you tonight. Thank you so much for the table tennis pointers.

Here are the questions I promised.

1) If you could share any advise, council or wisdom with the world. What would you say?

2) Looking towards the future, 1, 5, 10, 20, 50, 100 years. As far, or as close, as you want to look. Where do you see the people or the planet being? Or where do you suggest we steer towards in our decisions today?

It is an honor to have you contribute to my project.

Can you have your answers to my by 12pm? That will give me enough time to write the story.

I look forward to grabbing another match with you soon.”

Best,

Richard

…

“Hi Richard

Like I promise here are my answers:

1. The future belongs to the ones who prepared for future.

2. The population should get rid of oil addiction.

See you in the Club.

Alan..

To stay healthy every day, play Ping – Pong on Sherman Way.”

…

“Alan,

One last quick question. Where are you from? You have such a distinguished accent. I’d like to give a little more background to your character.

And yes, you will see me, and others, at the Club; I’m passing it on to all my friends.

Thanks,

Richard”

…

“Hi Richard

I am from Soviet Union. Unfortunately this country doesn’t exist anymore. But my motherland is Ukraine. Economics and engineering are my majors. For last 20 years I am Founder and GM of Allen and Sons appliance repair, one of the largest in So. California Company.

Any questing? Welcome.

Alan”

…

I do have a few questions, so I pick up the phone to call my new friend Alan. There is only so much that can be shared via text message.

As expected, Alan greeting is warm and gracious. I find out of his history… Past generations who moved to Russia prior to the inception of the Communist regime, a government that he refers to as “The jail that kept me in.”

And now that the walls have fallen, Alan has embraced all that the world has to offer. “I was in jail, now I watch the world through my own eyes,” Allen explains.

“I left in 1991 in search of equal opportunities… in America everybody can do anything,” he adds.

In writing of my meeting with Vahid, I spoke of noticing the birth of “The Table Tennis Club,” but in learning of it’s tie to Alan, I understand a little more about it’s address… directly next to “Alan and Sons Appliance Repair,” a business that for a least the last fifteen years has been no stranger to my line of sight.

“I’ve been here twenty years,” Alan describes, “I started playing Table Tennis four years for health reasons, now it is a passion for me. Opening the Club next to my existing business was simply a natural progression in something that I am passionate about.

The sport has made me much healthier and I think clearer because of it.”

Alan tells me of an article published in the Los Angeles Times in which a study of Ping Pong as therapy for Alzheimer patients proved to be effective in strengthening their mental capacity. Here is a link to the article.

Let me confirm, Alan is not suffering from Alzheimer’s, but he does acknowledge the positive effects the game has had on his thinking and retention. More the reason to smack a few more hundred forehands I presume.

And as for me, Table Tennis has graduated to a whole new level, one that I plan on enjoying in sharpening not only my athletic stamina, but, as I hope, my mental focus as well.

Only a couple of weeks until the eve of our community experiment… the August 25^th Table Tennis Council. If you can, please join us for a little exercise of the body and mind… can’t think of a better way to build bridges than through a bit of sport and friendship. See you there my friends.

My email freaks out today. The activity bar tells me that data is flowing in, but nothing registers in my incoming mailbox. I’ve done my due diligence, set up the same account three times and nothing. And in this world of virtual business… I need my connectivity.

Crud…! I’m hooked, pulled into the techno abyss of the disconnected. And the whole is getting deeper… Help! Assistance needed! I’m over my head in emotions of “What the heck!”

And with the land of Apple only two miles away, I make a hasty appointment at the nearest watering hole for the digitally lost… The Apple Store’s Genius Bar… not really the social watering holes I frequented in the eighties, but less the alcohol, not much less addictive. For to get to the Genius counter, one needs to wear blinders in avoiding the enchanting temptress new CPU, or evil Queen iMac as she seduces you to purchase her 27 inches of high-definition beauty…

“…Stop! halt this angle of writing Richard; you are only going to work yourself up into a frenzy of Mac addiction… Get off the thought train! Do it now, while you still have a chance to tell the tale of Alberta, your new friend of laptop malfunction.”

Alright, I’ve regained control of my senses and my brain is refocused on the time spent in side-by-side camaraderie with Alberta, and with system rebuilds installing in the background we get down to chatting.

The hum of the bustling store fades into the background as I ask Alberta for her advise to us.

Not new words, but powerful ones that we should never tire of hearing. “Treat other’s as you would like to be treated,” Alberta recommends, “If that happened we wouldn’t have war… we wouldn’t have crime… and that’ how I try to live.”

Alberta is just like you and I. A real person, with a real life history, and with a real set of challenges and blessings… Basically another member of the “The Silent Majority.”

We talk for a while and I discover of a life dedicated to service, to loving fellow-man and of a life that has not sat silent in actively enrolling in volunteer work. Alberta tells of her years of service and of her latest need, “I want to find one more thing to get involved in.”

The Silent Majority at is finest. Alberta does not seek recognition for her service… She does it just because it matters to someone. Makes me question, What if the visible majority, and the policy makers, could model the same example. And if so, what would the world become? Who knows? But, anyway, it’s nice to have a dream.

Alberta looks forward realistically, “As long as we continue in the way we are going with religion… nothing is going to change. If you look back at all the wars we have had over the years… you will see the majority of them have started over religious beliefs

The way I see the world, unless there are drastic changes…! Is that it will be about what it is now… Except, maybe, we will create new enemies.”

I have to ask. “Do you have any advice on how we can change the future for the better?”

“Not really…” Alberta responds,  “…That is, unless we get very, very strong leaders.”

I won’t even get into my thoughts on what a strong leader is, but if you have been reading my blog for a while, we may be sharing a similar perspective.

“What about on an individual level?” I further inquire.

Alberta kicks back to her opening advice, “Again… treat others as you would like to be treated…. and interact with people. People are so important. And, it’s the interaction… it’s the networking these days that really helps the world.

I think on a personal level, if we looked, most of us would find some sort of humanity in others, that is, if we choose the right path. I’m not a religious person… so to me, it’s about how we treat each other.

But unfortunately there are a lot of people in this world who have not considered that everyone basically wants the same.”

“How do we do that…?” Alberta explains, “…It’s about putting yourself in their shoes and walking in their place,” she concludes.

And per my disconnected email, no worries, it’s been much better talking face-to-face with a fascinating person.

Alberta, thank you for your time!

Talk tomorrow friends, and by the way, my email is back up, throw me a line if you will.

“We are all in this thing together!”

It’s 7:00am, the day is beginning, and the streets are shifting from barren to flowing with life. Lines of cars are queuing at the traffic signals while commuters stop for morning coffee.

Me…? I’m taking a break from an early work start… stretching my legs and my mind with a leisurely 80 degrees cool morning stroll. Oh Yeh… It’s gonna be a sizzler of day… that much I can already tell.

There is this Seven-Eleven on the corner, I stop there often for all kinds of junk food; after all, I need to be consistent in the training of my powerful abdominal.

And in attempts to conquest the urges to eat garbage calories, I’ve outsmarted myself in leaving all methods of payment at home, sitting safely in desk drawer. So basically, I’m completely broke as I pass the temptation of “Oh Thank Heaven… It’s Even Eleven!”

Discouragingly void of ability to fall to the beckoning of freshly frozen Slurpee’s, I pass the storefront, and as I do, I am rescued from my woes by the distraction of a quite stranger walking towards me.

“A friend to meet!” I think, and with this intent, my path is redirected in introducing myself, followed by 365 explanation, to this unknown sharer of public sidewalk.

Now, I’m no creepy dude, but still there are many times where I sense trepidation in the faces of the people I blindly approach. This morning is one such instance, when at my hello, today’s friend, Gabby, faces me with a slightly guarded posture. And in respect to her, I keep my distance at the start-up of our conversation. I have put myself in her shoes, and if on the other foot was I, I too would be very cautious in being approached by a strange man (or should I say unknown man) in a Seven Eleven parking lot.

But after only a few minutes, the unseen wall is broken and we are comfortably talking face to face in discussing the 365 questions.

Time is very short, Gabby is on her way to work, so we keep our visit to less than five minutes. Yet, in our extremely brief dialogue, Gabby aligns with the thoughts of many of our 365 friends.

“Live life to the fullest…” Gabby advises,  “…because you don’t know what is going to happen tomorrow. You don’t know if you are going to be here, or not. So, live today like it’s the last day.”

We take a few pictures and the smile on her face as she reviews our photos (got to love the LED screens on the back of digital camera’s) open a window to Gabby’s ability to live in the moment and of her appreciation for the words of others.

I tell her as much as I can about the mission of 365 as time allows, and in it, the walls of skepticism reduce a little further.

“What about the future?” I conclude, knowing that Gabby is in a great hurry to get to her job in the Mortgage Industry.

“I see a lot of technology and it is going to be the key to the future. But, I don’t know if it is going to be in a good way, or in a bad way. I’m just concerned with the plan.” She says in making a visionary prediction:

“We may even live to a thousand years… they are coming up with these new things now days.

Life is just not the same… There is just a lot of technology.”

So I sit here writing this entry, and admittedly, technology is all around me; to the right, my desktop system; to the left, my iPad; behind it, my older G4 laptop; and under my fingers, the new PowerBook that has authored so many 365 essays.

There is no escape, the high-tech era is irrevocably on top of us, and it is so cool that we can converse the way we do. As Gabby has pointed out, there is both a dark and bright side to the increase of technology.

But, as I create this entry with the ease of Microsoft spell check and through the speed of fiber optic upload, I cannot help but to think of one thing, I want to talk to someone.

OK, I’ll go buy that Slurpee now!

Talk tomorrow friends!

35 days to go until the ending date of my 365 goal, one year, at least one stranger turned friend every day. A lot has changed since the beginning of this journey. And although organic to it’s originating purpose of uniting the voices of “We the people,” it has grown to be a greater mission,one that I am entering into the early stage of planning. But one thing I promise to you, “365 is only beginning.”

It’s come too far now and has evolved to publish the hopes, fears, warnings and advises of so many diverse and unique people. People whom with comments expressed makes a statement much larger than any I could have made solely on my own.

We’ve spoken regularly of community, both on the local account and in the broadest of global perspectives. God, faith, government and new technology has proven to be a constant companion to the words of so many, and in them, we have revealed a grand list of to-do’s and we-wishes.

But the most rewarding of conclusions revealed by the many who have stopped to listen, to read, to own and to contribute is the unveiling of one major dream of the masses, “Respect for one another.”

Yes, acceptance is center to the hearts of the many that have stepped forward in responding to my 365 solicitations. No matter if exampled in the darkest of stories or revealed through the most loving outreach. The need to be heard… to be acknowledged for one’s opinion and/or to at least be considered as a voice, free of persecution of mind and spirituality has reigned top billing in being highest common denominator of the majority of those I have spoken with.

I drive today with this notion in my mind, past the post office that I regularly frequent, through the light at the corner of Remit and Sherman Way, and towards the intersection that boarders the Farralone line, Day 124.

Over the last eleven months I’ve come to know this stretch of neighborhood as never before. There are many faces and businesses that are so close to me now. David, Day 145, the man on the Buddhist street retreat, Roberto, Day 157, as he plays guitar outside of Follow Your Heart, Brook, Day 155, teacher of my daughter and now inspirer to so many other friends who have graced us in posts past. And even though Sherman Way is no destination street of palms and beach, it carries it’s own charm of diverse culture.

With this heightened awareness that I am speaking of, a funny little byproduct has entered me, as I’ve become hyper sensitive to every change of my area. It’s a really interesting phenomenon, one that has left me with a checklist of remembrances in noticing every change within the four-mile radius that surrounds my home.

And for the past ten days I’ve been acutely attracted to a previously unoccupied storefront. In which, and almost overnight, a banner has been hung over it’s front doors… It reads, “Table Tennis Club.”

For several hours I have passed by it in my day’s errands, in each ignoring feelings that will not allow me to take my eyes off the store. I have done my best to look far into it interior on every pass, not quite the smartest decision while traveling in busy traffic at plus forty mile per hour.

But finally, I can resist no longer, and with camera over shoulder I park to enter.

The place must be two thousand square feet; in the center of it are four very high-end Ping-Pong tables… all well spaced and all with elbow room itching for a competitive match of play. And smack dab in the middle of the space are two men, both highly focused in play.

At first I say to myself, “There is no way these guys are going to break their match to speak with me about 365.”

So I start self-bargaining, “I’ll come back later… maybe they have not noticed me and I can sneak out.” But I can’t turn away… the voice in my head will not let me excuse myself from the presence of these two absolute strangers  (boy, I sound crazy now… voices in my head).

I muster up my words, and in the usual style, tell of 365.

The game ceases, “Sounds like a very cool project… we’ll do it. We can pick our game (well actually a lesson) back up in a minute.”

Turns out that I have stumbled upon Vahid, a twenty plus year Professional Table Tennis Coach (owner of the club) and his student, Musician Joseph, here for his second lesson (and the guy is already slamming a crazy cross table forehand).

Joseph serves first words, “Share and be nice to one another… be good to one another. Share your resources. Be grateful… life is short. Look at people and appreciate them. Enjoy your life and let go… breath. Don’t be so worried about how other people might judge you.”

With heavy Iranian accent Vahid stages his concern, “My language is not very perfect.”

“Just go for it…” Joseph encourages, “…speak from your heart… we can get back to my lesson in later.”

Vahid relaxes and begins, “All the people of Iran, and the people of the world, can help each other. I hope that one-day all the countries will come together and we don’t have different countries… That we can all live together, like it is one country. It’s free and we can move about, we won’t have passports or green cards. That it can be like one system, not driven by religion. Religion will be for personality and does not come between us. But for all of us, it’s the same, like one world.”

“How we can do it?” Vahid proposes. “People need to talk…” he says, “…We need to make a better system. We have two systems, Capitalism and Communism, and we need to find a new way of how we can share all the things between all the people.”

And a key can be seen in Vahid’s conclusion, “That we can learn to have good minds… open minds… and loving minds.”

Joseph kicks in with a joke, “I suggest having all the leaders work out our problems with a game of Ping-Pong.”

Not so sure that would be the best of politics, but the visual that comes to mind is very amusing. I guess we could call it “The Ping-Pong Council.”

“What do you guys see the future being?” I challenge.

Still a little inhibited with language Vahid enlists Joseph to become the spokesperson for the two of them.

Joseph takes the baton (taking the paddle just does not sound right). “I see different trends… and I think it is our choice in which way we want to go. A lot of the things that connect us, and make us closer together, also can bring us further apart.

Without any Facebook… without any Internet… I found this place (referring to Vahid’s Club). Sometimes people have the illusion of being connected in their devices, and they end up isolation themselves. I see that as a danger, where people become increasingly isolated. I think that the danger carries a very heavy psychologically effect… it can be a major cause of depression… and it can be a major cause of a lot of problems.

At the same time, those same tools can help the planet allocate resources faster and the people can be made more aware. Look at what happened in Iran, the Internet really helped the situation.

And, I think if we can be smart about the way that we harness technology, we can use it to better society. It a tightrope and I don’t think there is an easy answer to it. I think what it really is… is our learning to be able to tune in and to be present, and to not necessarily depend on the Internet for all of our answers. That we can come up with local answers to the problem in our own communities. This kind of communication needs to become the wave of the future.

We can’t really do everything from the top down, and if we use technology to communicate more effectively between local communities, to take advantage of our own local resources and communicate with each other better… Then we have a chance.”

Vahid simply agrees.

Readers, I’ve got a new challenge for us, one that kind of aligns with what we are talking about today and something we have not yet tried. Think of it as an experiment in testing the strength of local community and an offer to help a talented coach to get his small business going, all while getting the opportunity to chat about whatever.

I’m calling it, as conceived by Joseph, “The Ping-Pong Council.”

On Saturday, August 25 (that’s two weeks for today, and I’ll throw a few reminders in the weeks to come), between the hours of 3:00pm and 7:00pm, let’s get as many Angelenos as we can to play a few rounds of Table Tennis at Vahid’s club. It’s not the expensive, $7 each and I’m sure will prove to be a lot of fun.

I see two things that can come from it. One: A great opportunity to share thoughts and witness just how in common we all are, and Two: to help a deserving dude get his business off the ground. And in either I see no downside.

So friends within commuting distance of Vahid’s “Table Tennis Club” we look forward to seeing you at the tables.

Table Tennis Club
21911 Sherman Way
Canoga Park, California 91303

Several months ago I stumbled into a group of friends debating political, social and religious issues without the need for anger, bloodshed or ridicule. That alone is a  feat worthy of applause. But what is most unusual about this gathered group of diverse of ladies and gents is the absolute respect they demonstrate in every word and effort they debate. And even in disagreeing they maintain their closeness. They call themselves “The Patio Rats.”

Every night they gather, and as I am told, constantly differ in size and in attendance. For eighty-four days (since my last meeting them) I have randomly passed the Starbucks at where they assemble. And for eighty-four days I have wondered where their conversations are going.

Tonight, I get the answer. 9:00pm it is, and as I approach their claimed table, I am quickly greeted by Rats regulars, Vincent and Tasha, who with warm smile of reunion invite me to again convene with them. And gratifyingly, it feels as if I have known them for years.

Vincent and Tasha (Not Pictured) are gracious in introducing me to others member I have not yet met, and as we get to know each other, and as expected a two-hour visit materializes.

Featured today are three stranger now friends Jake, Sarah and her boyfriend (not pictured)

Jake goes first in accepting our questions. And shows a little difficulty in getting going.

“Wow! I’m drawing blanks.” He starts. “These are hard questions. I’m usually the quite one who doesn’t say much… Now I feel like I have to be the brilliant philosopher.”

The Rats cheer him on.

Tasha, “You can do it, man!”

Vincent, “Just say it how it is!”

He struggles… then in the blink of a thought, lightning strikes.

“The best advice I can give someone is to be the best person they can be. And if they do… Life will reward them. That’s the way I’ve always tried to live my life… just being nice.”

But then he stammers… “It doesn’t always pan out… but… uh…! It doesn’t really have it perks… EVER!. He reverses his council.”

Tasha prods, “Then why do you do it!”

Jake rebuttals, “That’s kind of like the way I was raised… slash… programmed. And now I’m a robot… A Cyborg.”

Yet in his change of course, there is a questioning look on all of our faces. I absorb the momentary stillness of topic and offer a finding. “My opinion…” I blurt, “’… and as hard as it is for the world to admit, I think in many instances ‘Good guys do finish first. Just sometimes it take them a little longer. But the rewards are greater and last longer.’”

A fact proven, when Vince, unsolicited by me, gives me his digital recorder. “You can use this more than I need it. I’m only using it to record log stuff, you are using it to record things that are more meaningful.”

I’m flooded with confusing emotions of embarrassment, humility and gratitude in his example of doing good, for in his gesture, he proves the point that it is possible for people to give before they desire to receive. That little voice recorder was valued to him. I knew it in the pride he took in telling me all about it. And for him to so easily depart with it is a message to us all to look away from the material and consider the whole community.

I take the recorder with on pledge, “I’ll do my best to use it to capture real stories of real people and in continuing the works of 365.

We turn back to Jake, who has had a few minutes to consider his council. Elaboration he says, “One of the biggest things I feel like, in general being a good person. It’s not like the rewards and the perks of it are always for you. It’s for the benefit of others.”

Yet there is another side product of Vincent’s gift. In seeing the exchange, Jake was given the opportunity to more deeply consider his initial comment, and in doing so reflects on a moment that touched his life in telling me of a time he saved a life, a life that many would have passed by.

In short, he tells me of passing by an unconscious tweeker at 2:00am. “He didn’t look good, so I stayed by him and called the Paramedics.”

So what one may say. But to look a little deeper at the situation a larger picture is staged. 2:00am, streets deserted, drug addict passed out, alone and a sitting target, would most of us closely examined the situation and stayed by until help arrived.

“They later told me he would have died if it was not for me being there,” Jake closes the account.

As expected, this launches to round two of debates, a discussion of good vs. bad in the world. And how the media always highlights the bad. Joking about the way the news usually reserves the last five minutes of it broadcast for the obligatory  “On the lighter side” story.

“The future… that’s tough,” positions Jake. “The way society is going? In one hundred years it will be ridiculously overpopulated. It sounds kind of messed up, but I am hoping for some kind of equalizer. A bubonic plague, a yellow fever, stuff like that needs to happen to societies, otherwise we overpopulate, overgrow. I know… it’s messed up… And if I died, it would suck… but it needs to happen for the human existence to go on.

History repeats itself. It always has and it always will. There is mass death, followed by a rebirth and some sort of renaissance, an art form or whatever it may be. And the future, it’s more or less going to be as it is now… just more high-tech; and, probably just as  f…ed up.”

I love the dark projections. And in every scary account, I see challenge for change. Remember I’m an optimistic realist. Absolutely the world can be a dark planet and doom can be realistically placed on the horizon. But does that mean we bury our heads in the sand in accepting desolation thought and actions? And if the end shall come, are we prepared to rebuild? My vote to the floor of the Rat Pack conference and to the constituency of 365; let’s prepare for the best, and ready ourselves to survive the worst. That way we can sleep at night and continue in good deeds.

Back to, “Good guys really do finish first.” It’s all a matter of perspective.

On to Sarah, our second new friend, who with the support of British Boyfriend, gives her advice to the world.

“Wow that’s tough, one shot to tell the world something really important…?”

After a pause Sarah finds her platform, “Iran is not a terrorist country… it’s a beautiful country… it’s history is amazing… it’s not the people… it’s the government.

A lot of people think that Iran is hooked in with the other Islamic countries. Right now in the United States there is a build up of hate treatments towards Iran. And, I want American’s to really understand the facts about the history as to why Iran is really the way it is. A lot of it really has to do with American dabbling and interference.”

Not focusing on only America, Sarah’s boyfriend kicks in with a British view. “Also, the Islamic revolution in the seventies is what plunged it backwards to this Shah law.”

We talk of Sarah’s father, who when stuck in the middle of the revolution, lost all that he had, of the modern and contemporary Iran of the pre seventies and of the current censorship of web and telecommunications that is now happening in the country.

“It’s really difficult right now…” Sarah reflects,  “…and I’m afraid that America is going in this direction with so much right-wing influence and via the religions that rule the country.”

Yet one more discussion, that of religion, the question posted, It is the religion or the people who don’t understand the nature of God, loving and patient. I vote for the interpretations of the people and not the religions that are the base of the problems. For the throw out the water because of a few bad fish would be to kill the whole school. And after meeting so many people of different faiths, all who share a similar want for solidarity, it is hard for me to suggest any global assessment of any one faith.

Sarah looks forward, “First off I want to preface, saying this as a person who lives abroad (Sarah resides in Taiwan), and I have this fear that America is dabbling in other countries way too much. That in every single country that they do dabble in… to help the country… they have destroyed it. They build it back up only to a certain place; and, then make that country dependent on the States. So, I feel that if that is the continuation of what is happening, it’s not good.

But if that does not happen, I see so many possibilities of what the world could be like.” Sarah’s face lights up. “Who knows what we can do!”

But in her glow Sarah fades to a more somber expression, advising, “And although I see a world that is completely going to be run by technology, we may lose our humanity. Who knows, maybe Facebook will be an evil thing?”

11:00pm strikes, quitting time… Let the conference take rest… Perhaps we’ll pick it up at Facebook next visit, perhaps not. But whatever the discussion will be, I can say for certain that it will be colorful.

Patio Rats, I love you guys and I’m sure we’ll be talking again soon enough.

Good night all, 12:00am is almost here and I need my beauty sleep.

Seems it’s the week of questions for me, and just as did Jamar yesterday, today’s stranger now friend, Pamela, breaks the ice, inquiring, “Do you feel like you are growing as a person, or just getting inside the heads of how people think?”

We talk for a while about her query, and to save you from having to read the thousand or so words that it would take to fully publish our discussion, I’ll just give you a few bullets:

• My life will never be the same and I’m dedicating it to growing the 365 mission.
• Every person, no matter what the circumstance, has virtues of value.
• I have learned more than I have shared, and from now on, I will always regard the power of the individual as magnificent.
• The ability to do good lies in the hearts of all of us.
• The majority of people want the same things in life.
• Respect, love and acceptance are greater weapons than ego, money and politics.
• Those that intimidate you most, are often likely as afraid of you as you are of them.
• The slightest gesture of kindness can open guarded hearts.

Per today, in leading me to meeting Pamela, I’ve taken several rejections from other people, all of which led to short and meaningful conversations. “No worries, they are leading me to my next friend,” I’ve grown to accept this mantra as a guiding light in directing my navigation, and in it, have accepted the fact that not everyone wants to be photographed and interviewed by a complete stranger. But, even in this assessment, I have began to feel of a mutual respect with all who have allowed the invisible walls of self-created segregation to be broken. A message clearly telegraphed by the handshakes exchanged and the nodding smiles in departing from today’s rejections. That alone is gratifying enough, and I’ll never stop challenging you to try reaching out whenever you can. You’ll find that everyone has fascinating stories and wisdom to share. The secret is allowing self to slow down in observing the people around us. And when conversations occur, tempering yourselves to listen a little longer, and to contribute a bit more openly. For what I am finding is that there are endless moments when eyes meet, and the more we, as a whole can recognize them, then the mathematical increases of those making change in outlook can be passed on, even in the slightest of gestures, again, an honest and heartfelt hello.

I’m not making this stuff up; I’ve been experimenting with hello for almost a year now; like just after my meeting with Pamela, a nod I exchanged to rushed family at Little Caesars Pizza. While, in waiting for my order, I noticing a mother and a daughter who for some reason were scurrying their pace. At one instant the mother caught me in her sight. I tipped my hat, warmly smiled, and the results were a trip. Her countenance changed, her pace slowed and I watched her as her tone towards the people around her and the counter staff became more tolerant. I’m even a touch embarrassed in telling you about such a personal moment. And in sharing it, as I have stated many times, it is not of me. I make no claims of being anyone with special abilities and reveal it without any want of ego gratifying applause. Bottom line… I’m just a regular guy, meeting regular people, while doing my best to raise a family, to keep a roof over our heads and maintain a spark of dignity for myself as well as grow my regard for the people around me… That’s all.

People are amazing, adaptable, intelligent and in most instances, very spiritual. I’ve met with all faiths, even those who do not lean towards any higher power in enduring this life experience.

Some are at peace, others are troubled; yet, in the uncountable tones of perspectives I have heard from the many that have communed with me, no consequence can be placed. For in all there is one sum desire to purely be accepted, to be loved, to have the basic securities that all humankind deserves, and to feel safe and assured that they are OK in who they are, and in where they live.

Basically, a common want to trust and to be trusted, and it is this universal theme that is, like the finest cream, rising to the surface of my findings. In it, another latent bullet point to Pamela’s question comes to mind. “I have learned the true meaning of tolerance. It has not been an easy lesson, and it has been one that I am sure will consume the remainder of my time on Planet Earth.”

Tolerance is hard-earned, and to master it (and I assure you, I am nowhere near master level), we have to bear the chest tightening of looking at ourselves in questioning why we react in a particular manner, or from where have I drawn this opinion? Nine times out of ten, the answering finger points back at ourselves, confirming the need to not place any self concluded perspectives, or worse judgments, before we know the whole picture… or at minimum, the character of the one we are profiling. Yes, an extremely difficult premise to wholly own, and one that through time, I promise, does get easier.

I guess in a way, I am putting my money where my mouth is in walking this 365 path. Had no idea at it inception, I would be talking the way I do now. And, on this trail of discovery, I continue to invite you to join me. For I’m only one little voice on a larger and diverse planet. But, at least, my prayer is constant, “That we may all do our part to reframe any negative feelings we may harbor towards one another until we have examined the whole story and have carefully looked into the eyes of those we a pointing at. This is core to the understanding of true tolerance.

Pamela has a loving spirit about her, one that grabs my attention after spending a few minutes away from the previously skeptically accepting conversations. Her first words in responding to our 365 questions reveal why the very air around her is comforting.

“All I can do is speak from my heart, and from where God has placed me in the last couple of days…” Pamela happily states, “…is that for those who are believers to literally be the salt of the Earth… and to be a light to all around them. To realize that everywhere we go, we are either salting the Earth or are a brightening it. And, we don’t want to be the salt that looses its flavor or to the person who turn out the light.”

True, Pamela is a Christian, a faith that, as do many other faiths, focuses on good deeds toward fellow-man, and in acceptance of a loving God. But also, a faith that due to the zealousness of many a not so inspired evangelist, can at times be polluted with a not so loving outlook. In my opinion, none of us are damned. There is a loving God, who knows us, who understands us and one that desires the best for all of us, no matter what our circumstances.

Pamela elaborates, “The truth is love, that is what God is. If we are angry all the time… or mean… or disrespectful… it passes on. We need to watch how we live… That’s all…

…My advice… Live and walk in love. And find out what true love is by knowing the creator of love.”

“What do you see in the future?” I inquire of Pamela.

As do many, she pauses to reflect. “Not one year from now… I don’t really want to put a time frame on it. But if I had to, I would say that within ten, twenty years, if we continue on the path as far as where we are now, as far as society, as far as being introverted, as far as being so consumed in technology, in not really communicating, in not building face to face relationships, and in not loving; it will speed up the process of our society not being how this country was founded. It hurts to see that there’s no sense of family, there’s no sense of relationships anymore. People communicate through text… and that just irritates me.

For those who don’t believe in God, I ask them to really listen. He shows himself to everyone in everything. If there is a question in your heart, I encourage you to really seek, to really look for it before you discount it, because it is really life changing.”

She adds a pet peeve, “If our schools, if our society, if our government don’t put an effort into really loving, and caring for, and pouring into our children… who are our future… it will destroy our country in comparison to what other countries are doing with their education systems. We are building more prisons, and we are closing more schools. We need to give back… that is important to me!

On a personal level… we all need, especially mother’s, to seize every opportunity to be the one’s who are pouring values and morals into our children. Like trying to find ways to not always have to send them to a babysitter, or to think that the school system will teach them values. This is where we do our part to build the core foundation for our future. We need to not worry so much about things like having to keep the house clean all the time, if it leads towards ignoring our kids. They are a gift… we love them, we need to cherish them.”

Day four of family role reversal takes us to another movie night at California State University Northridge (CSUN). My wife has been glued to the computer all day, and with her eyes and shoulders twitching from LED blindness and computer posture, my daughter, a family friend and I rescue her from the isolation of website backend madness.

We settle at our blanket base camp, spread out our picnic dinner, and in the ambience of a dusk sky and opening credits, I take leave in search of friends unknown.

This is the fourth evening I have found myself at this same venue, and in past quest for friends, I contained myself to the comforts of mingling within the crowd of moviegoers and vendors. And tonight, not wanting to be overly redundant, I have chosen a different tack in leaving the field in which the event is taking place. My aim in this decision… to find a more intimate and quite discussion… one that is away from the temptation of kettle corn, the thirst for fresh squeezed lemonade and the interruptions of Lilo and Stitch punch lines.

The campus is laid back, being the summer break that it is, but here and there are pockets of students grouped in casual banter.

I approach one such gathering, English major, Jamar and two of his classmates (not featured) as they sit in front of the library relaxing in post game chill after a match of rugby. Don’t know exactly why I am drawn to them, other than the influence my subconscious has pressed in pointing me in their direction.

I throw my first question, “If you had any advice, wisdom or council to share with the world… and they were listening… What would you say?”

It gets turned back on me when Jamar asks, “Before I answer, what has it been like meeting people every day, and what have you learned? I’m very interested, because I’m kind of like that type of person too… Everybody has a story to tell.”

I know now why I am here. You always hear me preach of the potential greatness of the upcoming generation. And right now, it is manifest upon me times three, Jamar and his two friends’; one is a Business major, the other Athletic Training major. And in the sum whole of each of them is a desire to be of service to the world around them. A vast difference from the “this is what I am going to do” vibe that I felt so often in my nineteen-eighties higher education experience. Or, was that because I was in the arts? Who knows? But at least I can say that I have survived the ego game, and to date, have avoided any enticement to remove my ear in a fit of “Look at me!” Mr. Van Gogh, don’t worry, I’ll always love you.

And not trying to be ghoulish with the loss of ear giggle, but in a roundabout way, an auditory reference does bridge into Jamar’s words of wisdom, “You have to listen to people… even if you think they will affect you in the least way.

He cites an experience. “I remember, once when I was talking to a homeless guy, just seeing where his life had been. He had his ups and downs just like anybody’s life. So it was cool to see that everybody has a story… we are all like grains of sand.”

We open into a conversation on the subject, sharing 365 stories of friends past, mixed with experiences Jamar has lived. I’m telling you, one of the greatest highlights of journey 365 has been making (not getting) the opportunity to chat with the youth. They are a powerful influencer of the way the world is heading, and whenever I allow myself to listen to their insights, their input is most often, filled with inspiring points and articulate wisdom.

Jamar is no exception, “One of my good friends, he’s a frat guy…” He respectfully reveals, “…and I don’t usually mess with frat guys.

Maybe it’s in my head… maybe it is not. But, I don’t have the best relationships with them… I think it’s because I’m black. It could be me… it could be them… who knows?

But either way, I like this guy because what he said. He’s a business type of cat, so he said he never does business with a guy until he talks to his secretary and his janitor. The two people that you just don’t have to treat well. If he treats them like shit, he won’t to do business with them. It’s not about having money… It’s about having character.”

It never fails, whenever I follow any peaceful impression of mind, I am directed to people of like mind. People like Jamar. I know, it sounds so metaphysical, and trust me when I say, “My life is definitely not new age.”

But the point is, Listen; and when you hear it… make the time to Follow.

Jamar has things of meaning to share, and to have passed on the pull to speak with him would have only left his voice unheard. And now meeting him, I feel it a privilege to publish his insights.

Of Jamar’s character, and his outlook towards his co-humans. “You’ve got to give people the benefit of the doubt. That’s the way I try to live. Sometimes it bites me back, but most of the time… I just feel good about it.”

“We are all very interconnected…” Jamar grows his statement, “…I fell like if we all wanted to make the world a better place… it wouldn’t take much from each person on an individual basis. It just takes a change of mindset.”

“What’s ahead Jamar?” I question.

“Where I would see us, and where I would council us, would be in two different places. He preempts.

“I would council us to scale back our living. Just because it makes it easier to be communal, which is the most proficient way to live and work. But that’s not necessarily a reality.

Where I see us? I don’t necessarily see that gap between the small population, where the large wealth is, and the big population, where the small wealth is… getting much smaller… I just don’t know where I see it, man…! I really don’t know!

It’s desperate times for a lot of people… a large percentage of the world. Revolution is coming soon… I think.”

Revolution is no new concept to 365. Yet in the mentioning of it, rarely is the very concept of bloodshed expressed. Sure, we have had a few who have predicted a doomed future. But the general assessment of the mass of 365 (now somewhere around 1500 conversations) agrees in one unified prediction. Turmoil is ahead, but in it will come a great resolve. A unification of sorts, and day’s that so many are looking forward to in one-way or another.

Per the often mentioned revolution? The general consensus is this. The war will not be one of bomb and gunfire (although I’m sure there will be horrors to bear, history has clearly taught us that). It will be a war of enlightenment, where battles will be fought via streams of information and applied actions from what I have come to endear as, “The Silent Majority.”

The unheard voices of you, Jamar and I are powerful. And if used as weapons of unity in respecting our circles of influence, I question one premise. “How far can we sound our message?”

The trumpet blows, the castle gates fall, the troops deploy and the banner rises with words of glory, “We are all in this thing together!”

Jamar… thank you for your courage, you are fighting in the right trench, and your charge of command is accurate, “We are all very interconnected.”