the future

SideWalk Ghosts / Interview 281: “A Burger That Introduced Me To A Brighter Light”

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“I was getting famous, it was turning me into a product and I did not like it. That is when I went into finance,” Jerry accounts of his life.

Over the last nine months hundreds of people have now graciously given of themselves in contributing to 365. All brave individuals who without reserve have allowed us into there lives in trusting me to forward their stories, advice and photos to you.

Several times have we discussed the laws of attraction and also have experienced several unexplainable meetings of strangers turned friends. From connecting third parties beyond our circle of influence, to answering literal prayers and personal reflections, it’s all occurred within the 365 journeys. Sure, some have been powerfully apparent while others not so much. We’ve even experienced days where we have struggled to literally find acceptance from anyone, and once found conducted somewhat contrite and forced interviews. But nonetheless… in all… I… and I hope you, have been thoroughly fascinated.

We are indeed a unique population with so much depth, so much diversity and so much combined experience. From pains to joys we have shared. Yet what is apparent with the loudest of volume is this, in some infinite way, we are all connected in one wish. That of a better world, a found life perspective and a planet filled with a kinder people.

Today is no exception.

I find myself in a funky little burger joint in wait of a casting session a few blocks away– killing time, and through the sandwich I’m eating, I’m sure my arteries as well.

As I take my last bite of seared cholesterol, a well-mannered gentleman sits at the booth directly in front of me. Our eyes meet and without my prompt this stranger greets me with a warm expression of acceptance.

It would be wrong of me to not reciprocate in an equally kind gesture. “Hello, how are you?” I reply.

We engage in a friendly and casual conversation and in such Jerry, once stranger now friend, agrees to join us in our 365 mission of unity.

Earlier I spoke of the laws of attraction and the moment Jerry begins to speak regarding the concept.

“The age-old question as to what is the meaning of life is found in two words…” Jerry summarizes, “…Expression and Experience.

Every living and non-living thing is expressing a quality of that which created it.

So what we express… we will experience… Period!

Look at an atom, electrons spinning around, communicating, the nucleus is the mother and the electrons are the children. And that analogy pulls it all together so you can see it very clearly.”

Jerry is a man of many talents (or perhaps gifts): A clairvoyant, a well-grounded businessman, financial advisor and spiritual consultant. From this he has pooled a vast base of knowledge. One that he does not flaunt, but one that he leans on in guiding his life voyage. His agenda is apparent, to outreach as far as he can in sharing what is core to his heart.

Yet in his claims he remains objective, kind, optimistic and approachable. “I used to work with Uri Geller on the Powers of the Paranormal. Uri told me to be careful with my gifts and to not show them off. I was under a contract to perform and at that moment I realized I had to change my life… I negotiated out of the contract and that is when I moved into the financial business.

I was very successful… became very rich in five years (I won’t tell you Jerry’s past worth, and he has the saved bank statements to prove it). But due to the greed and dishonesty of others I lost it when I moved from Texas to California.”

I even realized that my marriage was under false pretenses, so I gave what I had left to her and I’m much happier now.”

Jerry talk of a highly spiritual view towards humanity and the planet, “The world at large…? Thoughts and things are very much alike. And, we should approach life as if it is a thought… and not a thing.

Move the words around, things are thoughts, not thoughts are things.

Your experience meets with your expression to create unique points of attraction. Not so much as drawing something to you. That requires a great labor of thought. But if we can learn to use our thoughts as platforms to reach out and tether onto the dream and draw it in. I call it Metaphynetics.”

Jerry is an extreme optimist and he is passionate regarding his view of positive mind-set, good values and of the potential for a united world.

“I see democracy coming around!” he speaks with conviction, as if he has had a three-dimensional vision. “…It’s too beautiful of an idea to throw to the wayside, because none of the other systems have worked as well: And with that, most of the world population being Muslim…”

I did a little research. Jerry is correct in his claim. Per 2012: Christianity, 31% to 35% or 2.1 – 2.5 billion people; Islam, 23% or 1.6 billion people.

“… And when they start seeing how to separate church and state, then that progress will relieve much poverty. You see… most of those impoverished nations are Muslim nations.”

Now Jerry is not bagging on the Muslim faith. What I think he is referring to is how the will of time generated hatred in the name of faith can become epidemic. And in this reference, Jerry calls all of us to accountability to observe our faiths in directing the good values in whatever we choose to believe, or how we worship optimistically towards our fellow-man.

But there is one thing Jerry makes certainly clear. In the end we all worship the same God… the creator of the universe. He even aligns our actions in asking us to do all of our acts in life; even business with a positive conscience towards the planet and all those we deal with.

And with the aid of his Muslim statistic, Jerry postulates, “It not so much the religion, but you can’t do business with someone in the name of Ala.”

My take… Jerry is instructing us to respect individual value systems and navigate life with honor and honesty.

Jerry is very deep and extremely intriguing, his concepts are well founded and creatively lucid. And using a well-defined description of “Faith, that being the substance of things hoped for and the evidence of things not yet seen,” he goes on to link to our financial systems.

“Faith… That’s what our currency is based on… but we are the collateral.

So if we have faith in each other, and that the system of democracy, the one that is as close to God’s system of man doing business with man. It will all go right back to expression and experience.

Patience is the expectancy of good. And when you are waiting for something good, it seems like it takes longer. It feels that way because the body has a clock in it… Call it saccadic rhythms. What we fear seems to come quicker because we are on Adrenalin at that point.”

Makes me think of the hindsight is 20/20 theory and of the list of discussions we have shared regarding embracing all of our experiences, both good and bad.

Jerry humbles in revealing his perspective, “After I lost my wealth, it made me check my core.

The whole field of humanity opened up to me, and it will for anyone if they operate from love… No matter where they are… and if they are truly doing it.”

Of the future, again Jerry speaks as if viewed from a prophetic vision, “In five of ten years… Islam will create a separation of church and state. Technology will overrule, and peace will start to expand.”

Jerry, thank you for opening your mind, your heart and our eyes.

Hope to run into you again my friend; we can pick our discussion back up.

SideWalk Ghosts / Interview 270: “It’s Like A Sidewalk Living Room”

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Gina stands alone by the side of her minivan. A friendly faced person whose welcoming demeanor is hard to dismiss.

It takes about a second for us to meet eye to eye through my 365 introduction.

“Live just for today… Stay in the now… Because now is what matters.” Gina shares in expressing her words of wisdom.

Gina is an extrovert, to the point, and exuberantly happy. Yet in her outgoing attitude and calming charm, she keeps her responses brief.

I ask our question of the future.

Gina is eloquently succinct, “That we all can live together as a community.”

Mid sentence her Granddaughter Arian joins us. I had no idea Gina was accompanied. Turns out that she, her family and a close friend have all stopped for snacks at a nearby catering truck.

Arian gives us her words, “We should have a better president than Obama, he is one of the worst Presidents ever. He raises gas prices!” We all smile, some in agreement, others not sure. But out of the mouths of babes often comes the most unbridled and honest responses.

The rest of the family walks up. All are eager to contribute their thoughts.

Family friend Yadira volunteers to break the ice, “It’s not what the world offers you… it’s what you offer to the world.

There is only one race… the human race. So therefore, there is no difference.”

Yadira is very spiritual and relates her life attitude to the laws of nature. “We just transmuted into the Aquarius, so now the universe is moving us, or those who are adaptable, into what the hearts desire will manifest… not what the head tells you.

So it’s not about a dog-eat-dog world; it’s about doing and acting for no other reason than the actual hearts desire toward humankind.

Hopefully, everybody walking this Earth takes the time to find themselves in mediation. Like at the Japanese or Chinese gardens that just opened up here, or a meditation area. And I hope that people can learn to stop, to have no actual thought other than visualization. That they will become more human.”

Louis – AKA Dog (Gina’s significant other) seconds Gina’s outlook. “Live in the moment,” He advises.

Gina smiles, “After 27 years together we better be on the same page.”

I really like these guys. We’re standing on the sidewalk, but it feels more like spending time in the living room of a close friends home.

“Dog what are your hopes for the future?” I reach out.

Now Dog is an intimidating looking man. And if I was to prejudge in any way, the assumption might be that he is difficult to approach.

And Dog, please forgive me if I offend you in this comparison. But I do it for a purpose. As many of whom I have approached have had a similar edge as yours. Yet almost all of them had the greatest wisdom’s to share, and as you, walk with the gentlest of spirits. Your words are an example for us all to take the time and to have the courage to make a stand towards resolve.

Like Gina, Dog is to the point, “I hope that one day we can sit down and discuss all of our differences. That we can stop all the wars… Stop all the killing.

I’m tired of wasting money on bullets; we need to put it to good… like use it to feed the people. That’s where I like to see us heading.”

“We are planting seeds,” I express in reflecting on the many concepts, concerns and words of our 365 family. That bridges us as to a discussion that highlights the findings from our noble generation of the sixteen to twenty-five year olds. Most of whom have said that they are starting to see the light of what the world can become. And in this, we talk of the empowerment that we all possess to do our part in planting the right seeds of thought, of values and of respect towards fellow human in the mind of our youth.

We all agree on the challenge… and to the last voice to hear we direct of focus, Daughter of Dog and Gina… Kittie.

The whole conversation Kittie has been intently listening as she enjoys one of the best looking plates of Nachos I’ve seen in a long time.

Kittie is an obvious giver. Here I am, a noticeable stranger, and although we are, for the moment united in 365, it’s not like she has known me all of her life.

“Would you like a Nacho?” she offers me some of her snack.

At first, I’m a little shy to interrupt her enjoyment of the treat… But after a second reassuring, “Are you sure?” I accept the offer.

With my mouth full of jalapeno and cheek covered with cheese, I mutter out, “What would you tell the world?”

“Wow, I don’t really have any advice… I don’t know,” Kittie humbly confesses.

The family jumps to attention. “Come on… What is the first thing that pops into your mind…? It does not have to be prefect, just honest… You have something to say, we know it!”

“Put some clothes on. Have some respect for yourself and don’t lie,” Kittie responds.

Kittie has hit it out of the park.

I have a very young daughter, even a few years younger than Arian. In the blink of and eye, I know Kittie is a good mother.

In today’s world, immorality, poor values and the deepening grasp of vice is ever-present all around us. And with this, much of it starts with the self-image we have of ourselves.

Kittie says, “Have some respect for yourself and don’t lie.” What better council is there?

Gina steps up with a final word of social acceptance, “We all have to respect each other. People are doing the best they can with what they have.”

I wipe the last of the Nacho cheese from my cheek, and with gratitude, not only for the trust departed to me this day in the welcoming acceptance of my street approach… but more poignantly, for being allowed into the make do sidewalk living room of a very fine family.

Gina, Dog, Kittie, Arian and Yadira, thank you for allowing me into your home.

I sincerely hope to run into you again, my friends.

SideWalk Ghosts / Interview 257: “Would You Change The World Or Yourself?”

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The table turns on me this afternoon when I find myself the interviewee. An occurrence that catches me completely off guard in exposing me to a glimpse of the emotions that must be felt by those I approach.

And the greatest of these emotions are two: Empathy and curiosity. Empathy because I know how hard it is to approach a stranger, and curiosity for obvious reasons.

But in this unexpected sidewalk solicitation, there is a humanistic calm. A feeling that is void of consumerism, distanced from that of a political poll taker, and reserved in its energy.

It’s basically this, “Hi… We’re working on a student project and would like to know if you would be willing to answer one question?”

How can I decline? “Sure I’ll answer your question if you answer mine.”

What can I say… I guess I have no self-control in overcoming my negotiating mind. But I assume you will approve of my being the diplomat in this situation.

Plus, I’m smitten by the enthusiasm and courage of my new street acquaintances: Roving interviewers Shane and Nicole.

They’re question is to the point and thought-provoking, “Would you change the world or yourself?”

I won’t bandstand in reporting to you my response; that would be too self-absorbed. Let’s just jump to what Shane and Nicole have to say.

Question One:
“If you could give the people of the world any advice, council, or pass on any wisdom, what would you say?”

Nicole:
“Know what you have.

In life… In the world.

I wouldn’t really change anything. I think the only thing that really needs to change is people’s perspective.

So be aware of what you have, and how blessed you are. That’s what I would say.”

Shane:
“Ask yourself, do you need everything that you have? Maybe you’ll come up with the answer yes, and maybe even, that you have way more than you need.”

Shane and Nicole’s launching remarks lead to a shared hope for a united society as well as general conversation of the laws of attraction. And mid discussion, Nicole, spontaneously drops a killer title.

“It’s like the collective mind,” she says.

The collective mind…? Although the title sounds like the premise to a brain controlling sci-fi epic, its connotation in our chat is much more sublime.

What I think Nicole is telling us is that we need to think with each other. Not for, or against one another. Just in consideration of others. She proposes a united outlook; an outlook, that although hidden within each of us, can manifest itself as an unseen magnetism. We call it intuition, gut instinct, emotional reaction, possibly community or as applicable to our exchange, attraction.

Question Two:
“Looking ahead five, ten, fifteen, twenty, even one-hundred years or beyond, where do you see the planet, or the people being? Or how, or what, do you advise us to do regarding the future?”

Shane:
“I just have, like, an emotional reaction, because the future scares me.

Overpopulation and just everybody taking more away from the earth than it can really provide us.

I’d like to be optimistic about it. But it just doesn’t look very good in my opinion.

I think the earth is going to strike back. We just don’t know when or how.

We should all try to be self-sustaining, individually living near your work, where you have to be… walk everywhere.

Take as little as you can. Literally, that would not only be unselfish, but selfishly thinking for everyone in the future.

Take care of yourself. Don’t be so self-centered that you have to take from everyone else around you.

That how I feel about it.”

Nicole:
“My reaction is kind of different, I feel pretty optimistic about it.

There is definitely going to be a period of anarchy, especially within the United States. I think that it will affect the entire world.

But eventually… I feel like globalization will continue, and with the advancing of technology, the lines between races and different groups of people will begin to erase.

I think that with travel and everything, that eventually there are not going to be different ethnicities. I think that we all are going to mix together, and that is really going to bring the world together as cultures.

I see that as really positive, but I don’t think it is really going to go there very easily.

I do see a lot of corruption in the government. We’re definitely going to see some anarchy in the world.”

Nicole mentions her perspective of the world getting smaller – A point that has been brought up often. A fact that is strongly influenced by the advances in technology and the worldwide web.

I have to ask, “What do you think of the internet?”

Nicole speaks out, “I can’t stand it! I like to see people and talk to them. I don’t want somebody telling me that they are going to Facebook me. I feel like Facebook is an excuse for people to not actually communicate. I feel like our interpersonal skills are really suffering. We are all becoming introverted and have difficulty connecting.

The Internet in general creates anonymity, so people just can do, or say, things without really feeling attached to it… like there is no backlash on them. It is so impersonal!

They can say the most terrible things. It’s like if you were driving in your car, you flip people off, you scream obscenities at them. And, because your protected by the four walls of you’re car, you’re not looking directly into the other person’s eyes. You’re not having the same accountability.

It’s just times ten on the Internet and Facebook.”

We all accept that the Social Network is here to stay. But in this acceptance, may we parlay in one generalization. If we are going to use it, let’s use it responsibly.

Nicole encapsulated a vision, “I feel like globalization will continue, and with the advancing of technology, lines between races and different groups of people will begin to erase.”

Nicole is correct in her prediction of the time it may take to build her dreamed of global community. Yet in her dream there is accountability. And at its core is at least the beginnings for a greater respect for the world.

In pulling from the words of Shane, “Take as little as you can. Literally, that would not only be unselfish, but selfishly thinking for everyone in the future.

Take care of yourself. Don’t be so self-centered that you have to take from everyone else around you.”

That how I feel about it.”

Nicole, Shane, thanks for the prompt. Perhaps it’s time for us to do a little erasing?

SideWalk Ghosts / Interview 247: “The Student of Paz (Peace)”

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“’You can interview me but I want to remain anonymous, just call me ‘The Student of Paz (peace).’” And in respect to my new found friend, we’ll honor his wishes in calling him “The Student” from here on.

Outside Casey’s Tavern we meet and united we stand for thirty-minutes of meaningful conversation.

Until tonight, The Student was an unknown shadow in the streets, and after approaching him as he took a breath of fresh air walk from the tavern, I am happy to say that The Student is no longer a stranger to me.

It matters not that I do not know a first or given name, what matters is that I have met another valuable human being… and a man who has something of worth to share with us all.

The Student and I warm up in giving up a little history about ourselves: Two diversely different people, both of whom have had their own unique upbringing, life experiences and earned opinions. But two people who, non-the-less, find a link to each other. That link… “Humility.”

The Student presents the topic well, “Modern man thinks he is wide-awake, with his third eye open and wise to the world. But the wiser he thinks he is, the more insane he looks in the mirror of reason.”

I’m telling you, with this statement I am evoked to thought– The Student is now the teacher. And with his spontaneous blast of improvisation, he has elevated my mind in feeling as if I have just been part in witnessing a bizarre street revelation.

“The wiser he thinks he is, the more insane he looks in the mirror of reason.”

Reason being the key, The Student opens the doors to the next level, “It’s all about self-reflection… you have to know yourself… and not be an asshole.”

I’m inspired, yet a smile still comes to my face as I share a gut laugh with The Student in his choice of asshole as a descriptor.

“Dude, your word is perfect!” I chuckle as I inform him of how prevalent asshole has been in many of my interviews over the last few weeks.

Readers, I don’t make this stuff up, it just happens, and for what ever reason, 365 has an ebbing and flowing life of it’s own. Its been quiet an experience following it and I am convinced it still has a lot in store for us.

And although the asshole label can sound a little derogatory, it holds a beautiful meaning this evening. The Student elaborates, “We have to respect each other… but also need to learn to be a good judge of character…

…To not tiptoe through the tulips; but to watch out for the landmines.

I came from a big family. Grew up with a lot of kids around me. I saw a lot of mistakes as well as made a few of my own. I learned from what I saw and did.

What is important is that we have to use common sense… and be wary to take caution. Like my mom used to say, ‘Wear your sweater!’”

The Student makes a prediction, “If things keep up the way they are going… we are going to eventually become so numb. Especially if we listen to our politicians… they are like car salesmen, trying to sell the dream.

Jim Jones did that with Jonestown and created his blind following. Look what happened to his followers.

“People have to come together and learn to trust who is trustworthy, but in living we have to be wary.” The Student submits.

The debate has risen.Do we tiptoe through the tulips of life, burying our heads in the sands of denial, judgment or isolation; or do we reach out with trust. And as we do, do we allow ourselves to be aware of what is going on in the world?

Perhaps the landmines are self-inflicted, perhaps not. But in the end… can we look into the mirror and see a reflection we like, or better yet… love?

“Modern man thinks he is wide-awake, with his third eye open and wise. But the wiser he thinks he is, the more insane he looks in the mirror of reason.” The Student testifies.

And tonight, on this dimly lit sidewalk, I have taken part in a discussion of epic proportion. A conference of humility, awareness and of commitment.

It matters not that The Student and I have conducted our mini summit in the most unlikely of places. Humanity is in the heart. It cannot be built into the walls of a church, or poured into the foundation of a town hall. Nor can it be worn as a garment or sold as a commodity. It can only be earned through time and soft heartedness. It is the peace that opens our eyes in the morning, and the music that rocks us to sleep at night.

As mentioned by The Student, “It’s all about self-reflection… you have to know yourself.”

Self-reflection, even soulful self-reflection, then becomes the motivator to leading us on a course of greater reason.

Shall we never forget, “We are all in this thing together!”

SideWalk Ghosts / Interview 234: Pappy

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“I used to have no remorse for anybody. I’d do anything, anytime… and with no questions… They called me suicide.

I’m not that person anymore,” Pappy introduces himself to me as he exposes the reason for his change of life, “You have to faith in god.”

An x-rider from a serious bike gang, Pappy openly spends a few hours with me today as I run into him outside of a local grocery store.

“I was not a good man and have done a lot of things in my life that I regret. But now my life is very different. I will never go back to the way I was. And I am on the streets to protect people.”

Pappy tell me of his rebirth to society, “’I remember leaving San Francisco, (he is referring to San Quentin) and coming home to Canoga Park (he even went to the same high school as my wife, played football there).

I had two hundred dollars in my pocket and that was it. As many ex-cons do, I could have found a room for the night, got a few beers and started the next day with nothing. Instead I went to my parole officer. He greeted me with, ‘I thought you’d never make it!’”

Pappy tells me of the doubt that his parole officer had about his release. He even admits to breaking his parole on three occasions. Yet in this admission, Pappy also talks of his growth. “I committed to change my life. I got out of the gang and began the work to change my life. It was hard, but I did it.”

Pappy tells me of his battle with relapses to past behaviors and of the way he felt when he was in the depths of what he calls, “My days of no remorse.”

“I never want to feel that way again,” Pappy reminiscently expresses. A stark contrast to the tattooed tears he bears under eyes. And empowering his street earned wisdom is a tremendous spirit of empathy that veils the very atmosphere around him.

Pappy has made countless bad choices, something that he has no hesitations in discussing. “I made a lot of mistakes in life that put me in Arizona State Penitentiary for seventeen years and San Quentin for another two.”

What is remarkable is the passionate focus Pappy carries in his revitalized life quest for doing whatever he can to help those around him.

He tells me of a story. “’A few years ago I needed to make a phone call and I had no money. I asked a man in a white shirt and tie if he had a quarter to spare. He walked past me as if I was invisible. A year later I was walking down the same street and I ran into the same man again. This time he was dirty, scared and homeless. I recognized him, and he recognized me. At first he did not approach me, so I asked him if he was alright. ‘I’m hungry and don’t know where I will get food, he said. I showed him where to eat and gave him five bucks. I carried no anger for the way he treated me the first time I met him. I was more concerned for his safety.’”

Pappy shares other accounts of his change of perspective away from self and towards others. Accounts that are far too many to write. But I can paraphrase as a whole. Bottom line… most of the local stores, police, fire stations and his community of homeless know Pappy well. In Pappy’s words, “They used to fear me, now they are my friends.”

Friends who have helped to shelter, feed, warm and watch out for Pappy since realizing that he is a changed man.

As verified in quoting his parole officer, who when Pappy completed his final parole time said, “When I first met you, I was pretty sure you would not make it, you proved me wrong.”

Pappy takes only partial credit for his accomplishment in returning to society. “I could not have done it on my own, first I give credit to God, but I really need to much give credit to pastor John, he saved me.

When the pastor first met me, I was not living the way I knew I needed to live. Pastor John never judged me, he never worried about what I would do, and with no questions asked, he reached out to me, trusting me to work as security for his church, door keys and all.”

A trust that to this day Pappy is committed to value in never breaking.

“I no longer care for myself only…” Pappy testifies, “…and even if you treat me wrong, I’m still going to treat you with respect.”

The feeling I get as I speak with Pappy is just as he states. Even standing in the fading light of his churches parking lot (we have since taken a walk from our grocery store meeting place) there is not a second that I feel in harms path. Quite the opposite actually, for I am absolutely positive my back is being watched. Pappy is just that kind of guy as evidenced by the caring waves from the cars of departing members of the congregation.

Pappy proclaims of his relationship with God, “Everything I think… he knows.

This is the first time in my life I have had peace. You see… for most of my life I was looking for acceptance anywhere I could get it. But now I realize that what I was really looking for was love.

I know that God loves me, and because of that, I want to do the best I can to love others.”

And it is this love, as well as Pappy’s regained respect for others, that has led him on the path to forgiveness, to himself, for others and an active voice in his sincere desire to be forgiven.

I’m OK living on the streets. I have a car (earned $1,600 dollars to purchase it by collecting cans) and my dog. For now, that is good enough for me. It’s a roof over my head and I count my blessings.

“I do not fear any longer, when I hear a siren behind me I don’t jump. They aren’t after me. And that feels good,” Pappy radiates.

“The world is basically going down the drain,” Pappy soberly councils. “The rich get richer, the poor get poorer and the sick… sicker. The homeless need to look out for each other, and that is why I am here.

Pappy is an iconic example of man’s ability for life change. A life changed away from crime, vice and selfishness. And a man who has earned the chops in understanding what he must do to continue the works he has committed his life to.

He leaves us with a quote as he walks me home in the darkness of the night, “Trust Only God… and never let you guard down.”

Pappy, we’ll talk again… my friend.

SideWalk Ghosts / Interview 232: “A Guide To All That Is Good”

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Every year there is an American tradition that has happened since the dawn of modern education… That tradition: The High School Prom.

A night where young men rehearse they’re gentlemanly conduct (they better) as young ladies are escorted to a fairy tail evening (we pray) in their practice of social graces.

And behind every elegantly dressed teen, there is a mother, or a father, or other mixtures of family dynamics.

Tonight is that very night, and I find myself smack dab in the center of activity in gathering with a special group of families; whom as a group have decided to give their kids a grand start to their prom memory.

Around me are twenty-two of the most beautifully and handsomely dressed kids, all coming together at the home of one of my most respected and long time friend, Tom (not pictured), the coordinator of tonight’s bus limousine prom start.

I’ve got to tell you a little about Tom, it’s relevant, for his persona does lead to the meeting of today’s stranger turned friend, whom I’ll tell you about in the next minutes.

Tom is a spiritual man. A great example of living a life committed to family values, and a life that is passionately centered in a real love for community. I use the word love intentionally, and in choosing it, I assure you that I understand the depths of its meaning. If ever I have met a man who exemplifies the purest of benevolence towards his fellow human… it is Tom.

Tom is one of 365’s constant fans. Not that he has the time to read every entry to it’s fullest, but his patronage is greater than that of solely reading it’s narrative. He believes in the project. So to receive an introduction from him is a charge to listen.

“Do you know Marilene?” he inquires as we chaperone tonight’s gathering moment in photographing and bidding our have fun’s to our troupe of glowing young couples.

“If not… you have to meet her… she is an amazing woman.” Tom directs.

So as the bus pulls away and the majority of parents have departed, I take time to introduce myself, and 365, to Marilene.

Tom calls Marilene amazing; I title her “A guide to all that is good.”

“There is always a tomorrow. To me it’s not worth stressing too much,” Marilene shares in her native French accent.

“I have learned that from experience. I’m a worrier at heart. Something that was part of my life from the start, growing up with a dad who was very negative and worried about everything.

But after time… I realized that is not a healthy way to live.”

Advice that I am sure many of us have similar experiences to reference. We all have our own set of histories from youth. Some dark… some bright, but all part of the evolution of who we are today.

Yet, Marilene does not cite any blame or contempt in her outlook. To quote, “I have hope for everything.”

And it is this hope that has healed her from the unexpected loss of her husband when he passed away only a short ten years ago.

“How many kids do you have?” I ask.

“Four… and they are great!” Marilene joyfully reacts.

“We have a lot of love in our house and they help me stay young.”

In my travels I have met many single parents, both men and women, all of whom are doing their best to raise balanced children.

I cannot even fathom single-handedly raising my one child, and hearing that Marilene is caring for four teens by herself is a feat the gets the fullest of my respect and admiration.

There is a question that is becoming a regular inquiry. A question that not one of my single parenting friends has avoided, “What advice do you have for other single parents?”

Without hesitation, and bearing the most positively infectious countenance of peace and strength, Marilene responds, “Be close to your kids… Talk to them… And never forget that you are a team!

Even when they are teens, I promise that they do listen… and they do understand. Even when you think they are not.”

We shift gears toward to future, and in expected positive form Marilene formats her views using a blend of poignant reality and ingratiating optimism, “The idea of a global world is something that I see coming.

We have to help countries that are having troubles, but what’s hard about it is that we can’t change people.

Maybe in a hundred years, people will look at each other differently. It’s going to be a slow change… but one that will happen.”

Marilene, we take heed to you council, thanks for chatting with us this evening.

SideWalk Ghosts / Interview 228: “Laugh, Think and Cry”

by

She says as she walks by me with a dismissive and antagonistic look, as if I am non-human and transparent, “Your a photographer… that’s nice.” And this is only the front end of a barrage of knee buckling and similarly harsh rejections. Then there’s the guy on the bike, “A photographer! Hah! I’m sorry! The world sucks that’s all I have to say, I’m not interested in sharing my thoughts (Well he kind of did).”

I lose count of the “Leave me alone camera guy” jousts and upon the most subtle brush off from the couple walking hand in hand, “Cool… But later dude,” I almost resign my efforts in this neighborhood.

I look at my watch in contemplating relocating to another street. But with the reality of the need to pick my daughter up from school in only fifteen minutes, it is not prudent for me to leave the area. Subsequently, with my emotional fibers exposed, and my nerves a little shaken, I reset my determination in making a friend in this location… and on this stroll.

And even though the rejections have been ceaseless and I’m slightly numbed by the apparent judgments that I feel have been fired at me, I let go of my insecurities to stay on track.

Up and down the block I repeat my path, challenging myself to at least say hello to all who dare to keep their chin up on this cloudy day. As I do, I fight off the sadness that just moments ago overcame me from coming across so many abrasive get out of my face gestures.

Yet, it is this very sadness that lifts me up in belief that for as many unapproachable people there are in the world, there are just as many, if not more, who are willing to reach out. The odds have proven this fact to me; I’ve met far too many people who share a more optimistic point of view. So I walk on, acknowledging everyone in my route, dismissals and all.

Forty-five minutes have clicked by and as I stated earlier, it’s only minutes before my child finishes school for the day. There is not much time left, and upon spotting one last earphone-wearing commuter of public sidewalk, I decide to look beyond his music appreciation and throw myself upon the court of Doug.

Doug silences his music to hear what I have to say, and with an accommodating grin he joins us with one condition, “I’ve got seven minutes, I have to pick my kid up from school. If we can do it in that time, I’m in.”

We jump right to the point, “If you could share any wisdom, advice or council with the world what would you say?”

Without hesitation Doug paraphrases a quote from late basketball coach of legend, Jim Valvano, “Every day you should do three things, laugh, think and cry.”

I did a Google search for Coach Valvano, his quote is very impactful when you put into perspective of where and when he said it. Per Wikipedia, “’Jim Valvano died of Cancer and on March 3, 1993, shortly before his death, he spoke at the first ESPY Awards, presented by ESPN. While accepting the inaugural Arthur Ashe Courage and Humanitarian Award, and as he announced the creation of The V Foundation for Cancer Research, an organization dedicated to finding a cure for cancer. He introduced the Foundation’s motto ‘Don’t Give Up . . . Don’t Ever Give Up.’”

Here are Coach Valvano’s words from that day, “To me, there are three things we all should do every day. We should do this every day of our lives. Number one is laugh. You should laugh every day. Number two is think. You should spend some time in thought. And number three is, you should have your emotions moved to tears, could be happiness or joy. But think about it. If you laugh, you think, and you cry, that’s a full day. That’s a heck of a day. You do that seven days a week, you’re going to have something special.”

“I do my best to live my life this way,” Doug mirrors in speaking of Jim Salzano’s example.

“The Future…?” Doug ponders, “…we are going to go through a lot of growing pains, and in the end, we will all be in a better place.

I think there is going to be even more of a global economy. I won’t live to see it, but my grandchildren will.

It won’t matter what country you live in… it will be a one-world type thing.

I remember when I was in school and the Soviet Union fell, people thought that would never happen… but it did.

The old school dictators are dying off, and a new generation is growing. And they want a different life.

And even thought the political powers still try to keep the information from us, they can’t anymore.”

Doug’s outlook on the future rings with resonance, and after speaking with over one thousand people since September 9, 2011, I have to let you know that this sentiment is unanimously shared by many, especially within the eighteen to twenty-five year old age group… the literal foundation of our future leaders.

Let us hope that these reformers of the future stay true to course, and avail of corruption as they step up to do as they may. I’m counting on it; like Doug, not for myself… but for the future of my kid.

Even though I have been rejected much this day, it has been worth it. For in the seven minutes Doug has convened with me, my optimism has been restored, and my perspective regarding the good in people has been refreshed.

In quoting legend Jim Salzano, Doug exemplifies the words of a compassionate leader.

“Everyday we need to laugh, think and cry,” Doug passes to us.

And in the hour past I feel as if I have experienced all. I’ve welled up at the tone of unnecessarily harsh rejections, thought about my child’s future and smiled with a new friend in hope for a greatly united people.

We agree that a big contributor to what is to come is in the hands of the young men and young women of today… Many of whom I have spoken with first hand over the last 227 days, and many of whom are on the right path. In publishing this, I ask all twenty-five and under to do us proud! The future is in your hands!

Doug, thank you for quoting coach Salzano and for your positive outlook towards a smaller much more connected planet.

Talk tomorrow, friends!