sidewalkghostsblog

Day 523: Whack-a-Mole

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"You know, I can't really answer the big question of the why's of what's happening out there because the only answer I have is to ask myself how am I adding to it?

At first, she reacts, “that is a really hard question. Not an easy one!”

Nonetheless, I start the recorder.

Flashing back to the day. A rain-drenched afternoon of location scouting for an upcoming production. Bumper-to-bumper traffic to the burbs of Los Angeles. The objective: Find the perfect home for a healthcare film and photo shoot. I know, not a terrible thing to be working. Especially in the media arts industry. A career where it is not irregular to burn through your savings in the downtime between gigs. To add to that, and for all of us, existing in these days of corporate cutbacks, digital job searches, AI hiring filters, and higher-than-ever competition, is a fact we are all facing as we seek our means of self-reliance. So yes, I’m grateful. But in this gratitude, I must turn my appreciation toward a power beyond myself. Toward the spiritual beliefs I have, toward those who believe in me, and toward those I believe in. You see, I am not on a mission for riches. Quite the opposite. I am on a quest to grow a cultural outlook. One that (in all transparency) can not only help me to better know and treat myself; but rather, can be shared as ideas for better knowing and treating ourselves, as well as others. So per the work? Again, I give a most humble thanks. For in it, the means for me to continue this journey we are on together.

The day is over, and thanks to an offered guestroom, I’m dry and out of the cold. Sitting in the living room with a close friend, her husband by her side, as I sip hot tea (Oh, how quaint! Hey! Is it so wrong for me to show my sensitive side?)

Okay. My setup of the scene. Release the poetic Richard. 🙂

The crack of fire fills the room.
Between every wood crack,
Warmth.

The moment… more than external heat.
I feel within.

My rational mind… wanders,
Hidden to the friendship around.

A tough spot in life.
The quiet examination of Whys!
The exposed exploration of justifications!

I turn to her,
Simply… asking,
Why?

Hey, you’ve got to give me some credit for that? Popped it out in 5 minutes.

Now, back to Pam.

“Well, the first thing that comes to my head is, why are we here? And as I ask myself that question, I think it’s to experience feelings and pain. To be able to transcend our mechanism. Maybe to reach out and care for others, and because of that, be able to maybe help each other.”

Yes, Pam has been a friend for years. But beyond that fact, and if you knew Pam and the hardships of her life, you would understand the description I have of her. In the eyes of this author, Pam is a person I identify as a friend of friends. A person who has learned via the school of hard knocks, a person who has risen from the lows, and a person who is to be modeled.

For Pam, service, and care for others is core to who she is. Something evident in her outstretched definition of Why. Yet, Pam is not a pushover or a bleeding heart in any manner. She is direct and holds no punches. Calls it as it is. The wonderment is, however, the way she does it. In no way diminishing others as she examples the right way to, yes, agree, but more powerfully, in making the hard calls when everything is out of whack. And as she does, Pam is all so real. Does all she can to refrain from guile toward others. More compassionately, toward herself. Certainly, traits to be admired, or like I said, to model.

The fires still burning, I take a breath. Refresh my hands in the radiance of its light. As I do, an expanded Why arises. I turn back to Pam. Asking, if you look at the world today, as it is—the hows, whats, and reasons for where we are now—both the good and the bad… do you see a different Why? Even… why we are here? I challenge.

“You know, I can’t really answer the big question of the why’s of what’s happening out there because the only answer I have is to ask myself how am I adding to it? And I think if you think about how you add to it, then it makes you think about why it’s happening. And I think if everybody thought about how they’re affecting it, we’d come to a conclusion that, you know, we just need to be kind and understanding.

There’s a lot of hurt out there. And I think that transcends us, and provokes us to feel more pain or less pain, and that makes us react, and then we can just see ourselves like he would like us to be. We just have to keep playing whack-a-mole with our feelings and move forward. That’s it.”

Somewhat silent, I reflect on Pam’s council. And looking for the next great question, my mind blanks. The music of H.E.R playing in the background as I watch Pam take in the fireplace. Calm and reflective she remains.

With Pam’s words replaying in my head, I close my eyes. Pull my fingers away from the keyboard as I visualize beyond the world in which we live. A picture fills my imagination. Wraps around me as I press for more to say about Pam. With that, and in the spirit of keeping it pure, I’ll simply type this: “Pam… Thank you!”

Talk tomorrow my good friends,

Richard

Day 522: Shapes of Fear?

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“So, who knows where the action you take will lead? What effect will happen 70 years, 80 years later? And who else will be affected by it as well?”

Sitting here trying to see the future of my daily blog commitment, as with a laptop in my lap, I’m one of the hundreds of unintroduced faces gathered. Simply me. All Richard, for better or worse, living my past, present, and future.

In a way, one small part in an expanding and endless story. A narrative personal to each participant of a grander mass, as surrounding me, a gathering of hidden stories ebbs and flows.

Yep, as usual, and in my poetic, narrative, and romantic style, you’ve got me. And, just as promised, a free flow of observations, feelings, and discovery as I figure out how to ask, and bring to you perspectives regarding the big WHY.

So, as I try to find any form of center in the middle of blurred masses at a BYU event titled Art After Dark, I’ll be transparent as I contemplate my decision to enter another daily blog commitment (This time, however, with no limitation of stopping in a year).

The reason for tonight’s affair? A retrospective installation featuring the works of Maynard Dixon. A man who in his own life explored the inner workings of, at first, The West, and then onto the internal struggles he faced.

I look around. An isolated subject I am, as staring at the diversity of the night’s patrons, I’m filled with something I can only identify as an overwhelming sense of curiosity. Yet, this is not my first rodeo, I’ve done the exercise of meeting a stranger 1000s of times now. I guess the big why, is starting to hit me as daunting—and I’m not even deep into it yet. So as I sit paused, taking it in, the security guard’s eyes on me, it hits me. As beside her, a modern sculptor: In bold red letters, it reads the word… LOVE.

Love? A fitting beginning for this new blog challenge, and a word that for over a decade I have discussed with so many people. The people I’ve grown to fondly call strangers-now-friends. But for now, I’ll just leave it as that. We’ll have plenty of time to further study the meaning, pain, and power of it. And albeit it, the word will be part of the journey we are going to take together, I wish to stay true to the cornerstone of the new RadstoneBLOG: Our community quest to explore the path to wherever Why is taking us.

Alright! Enough of my musing. Let’s get to today’s storyline.

Around me, more than enough people to approach. But just how do I narrow down a reason for a story, other than an artistic review or community narrative of the event? Then it hits me. Find someone at the front of their life and someone more toward the end (please forgive me Matt; it goes for me too), and ask each the “Why”.

I stand up. Stash the laptop, and to the middle of the crowd, I go.

It’s cramped with countless shoulder-to-shoulder groupings. Some are deep in conversation, others wandering the galleries, many watching the band perform Eagles cover tunes. An environment where I’ll be the guy who interrupts. But a commitment is a commitment, and for the sake of our blog journey, I tune in to my listening self.

“So, who knows where the action you take will lead? What effect will happen 70 years, 80 years later? And who else will be affected by it as well?

–  Stranger-now-Friend, Matt

Tell me your name once more? I ask him.

“I’m Matt,” he responds. By his side, his wife, who choosing not to be featured, stands rather curious, but seemingly supportive.

We chat about generalizations for a short time. Of the interest he and his wife have in Maynard’s paintings and photography.

“My wife and I took a trip down to St George three or four years back. I like to take pictures of different geographic formats. I took several at the time and I said to myself, these look like Maynard Dixon pictures. The washed-out colors in midday. I think that subliminally, subconsciously, I mimicked it because it looked like something that Maynard painted before.”

I’ll admit, I’m not a big fan of Dixons’s scenic and western paintings. But when you look into his urban and lifestyle studies, a whole new perspective comes forward. And one, in particular, is truly haunting. Especially when reflecting on the outcome it provided to him. A story that perhaps can inspire us to have faith, even at the darkest times. A portrait of three faceless people shrouded in capes. A painting titled: “Shapes of Fear”.

Dixon himself considered it one of his greatest works. A piece that, in 1930, at the peak of the depression, is an ominous depiction of three robed figures. So severe was his concern for what was going on in his world, Dixon recounted, “I felt like there was a vise around my neck when I painted it.,” He was at an all-time low, and as finances hit rock bottom, he entered it in the San Francisco Art Association’s annual exhibition. Wins the Harold L. Mack award; and then the Henry W. Ranger cash award from the National Academy of Design show in New York. “The prize money saved my life,” Maynard journaled.

“Shapes of Fear”

– Maynard Dixon

Matt recounts Maynard’s life at the time he created it. “I don’t remember the name of that painting. It was interesting reading the bio about it. It was painted during the depression, and Maynard and his wife (Dorothea Lange) had to board up their art gallery. They lived there and sent their kids off to be boarded by another family that could afford to help them out at the time.”

Makes you wonder what was going through Maynard Dixon’s mind at the time, and in thinking about that, I ponder the effect the story has carried forward.

Matt elaborates, “So, who knows where the action you take will lead? What effect will happen 70 years, 80 years later? And who else will be affected by it as well?

Amazing how the legacy of one Maynard Dixon and his real-life story can teach us all. And taking this thought in, I challenge each of us to reflect on the influence we have on the world to come.

Matt continues, “It’s likely he didn’t even paint it to sell it. You know, introspection, whatever it is, whatever brings art to, you know, to the canvas. It’s what he was up to. But yeah, I thought that was quite interesting. On what it did, how it got him moving his family again on to the next chapter.”

We redirect our conversation. The premise of not knowing the outcome of a moment becoming a bridge to the question at hand. I transition the topic. Matt, in looking at it all, the world now, the history behind us, the people in front of us, the people beyond us, however you wish to answer, let me ask, Why?

“Well, in the context of where I am now, I say, why is because of color, light, and shadow. That’s why I’m here. Because I wanted to experience it again. So that’s really a short answer on what my night’s about tonight.”

I respond with an amendment. If you look at everything that’s out there now or the people beyond this building. Beyond the state as far as we want to look, is there a why to that? Is that even answerable?

“Well, yeah,” Matt replies. “So looking at the crowd that’s here, why in the middle of winter they need something to do, and maybe that’s why they’re here. I don’t know if too many of them really give a crap about me or Dixon, to be honest with you. That’s my sense. So but I know it’s quite a young crowd. Not too many older folks like me, even though I’m still 25 upstairs.”

At first a rather general observation. But if you mindfully consider the deeper meaning of the generalization, perhaps Matt is sharing great wisdom. Maybe, suggesting the importance of face-to-face human interactions. A premise to consider as we get deeper and deeper into a digital existence. I’ll just leave it at that for now. We’ve got 100s of days ahead to continue that dialogue.

Per Matt’s wife. All the while she has sat close. Listening. Observing. And in a moment, and something she may not even know, she is teaching us. I’ll elaborate in a moment.

We share our handshakes and back to the crowd, I go. In quest of the younger point of view.

“Whether you’re religious or not, I see God as a creator who created us and brought us here. My way is to create, and I think creating is such an individual thing for each person. And I think it’s really important. Like we make our differences in the world by how we, you know, act or treat another.”

–  Stranger-now-Friend, Savannah

Jack and Savannah are their names. Two students, each with their unique pasts and outlooks. But in them, and as we got to know each other, they calmed me with synergy hard to explain. A certain wisdom in their eyes that could not be ignored.

Savannah goes first in defining her version of why. “One way I’m as you’re saying, like speaking to us, and like discussing this, I just kind of had recently on my mind has been a lot more about creativity. And it might have a part to play that I’m an artist, but I was listening to what you were saying.”

Okay, I did share some of my perspectives with them before asking them the why. Something that all of you who have been with me for a while has helped me to develop. Concepts I continue to expand upon in the evolution of this project.

Back to Savannah, “Whether you’re religious or not, I see God as a creator who created us and brought us here. My way is to create, and I think creating is such an individual thing for each person. And I think it’s really important. Like we make our differences in the world by how we, you know, act or treat another.

Some people do it through songs, including for dance, and you know, all those different ways. And some people do it through art, and that’s what I like to try and do.”

Her openness regarding spirituality touched me. So much so, I told her of my Jewish upbringing, my baptism to Christ, and how my family reacted to the decision. And in her opening statement, “Whether you’re religious or not, I see God as a creator who created us and brought us here.” I challenge us all to lean into our version of higher power for the moment when we are seeking greater peace, even purpose.

I remember one guy I walked up to one day and this is reflective of you guys, your beliefs, and or our spirit, you know? Okay. Yes. And I can’t even show you a picture, but we had this amazing conversation.

Jack kicks in. “Yeah, so my why is kind of like, I’m at the end of my college career right now. And I’ve been thinking a lot about the why. It’s one of those questions they always talk to you about. Like as you’re going to school. They say, do something you love and all that. So I’ve been thinking about that a lot over the past few years. What I want to do with my life. And I think I entered my university career with the idea that I wanted to be a doctor. And I think the idea was that I wanted to have a career where I could make money and I would be happy. But in my own life, I’ve had a lot of family members that were very wealthy and were very unhappy people. You know, they suffered not only depression and things like that but also substance abuse. And they just kept searching for ways to make themselves happy. So for my life, it’s all about finding something that makes you happy and that you enjoy doing. Something that you can spend your time doing that whole time. I studied history, and it’s like, well, what do you want to do with that? I don’t always have a good answer. When people ask me that, I tell them I studied history because I’m a history nerd. I love thinking about it. So, yeah, I just try and dedicate my life to things I love doing and not worrying too much about the logistics and what’s going to happen next. Even though those are always the questions you get at this point in life.”

I’m 62 now, and after a life of ups and downs, Jack, I have to tell you, there is wisdom in your council. But I’ll add one more level. Throw in a little purpose and you’ve got the secret combination. Someone once told me, if you find something you love doing, even on the days you hate doing it, you’ve found something you can keep doing. 

I mentioned the idea of purpose above, and also earlier suggested the lesson taught to me by Matt’s wife. So in closing today’s entry, I feel the need to be vulnerable in sharing gratitude. First to Matt for getting the why ball rolling, then to Jack and Savannah for their precious and youthful wisdom, each of whom has, in my hopes, built us up. But with respect toward a participant who wishes to be unknown, I have to pay tribute. To Jack’s wife. Whom, when I asked if she would like to share her thoughts on the big why, chose to be supportive rather than be recorded. Stating, “I like what you are doing, but why hits a little too close to home for me today.”

In that, her words are a palpable motivation for us all. A catalyst for each of us to lean into in every relationship we have, and in every thought driving our actions. The fact that no one fully knows what’s under the skin of our co-humans. So in praising the bravery of her statement. In acknowledging the empathy she extends to us in supporting the big why, she cannot go unmentioned. Celebrated as I ask us all to extend a good thought and if you will, even a prayer her way. Or better yet, toward all those we pass each day.

Talk tomorrow my friends,

Richard

Day 521: Reflections

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“Might we once again find peace as we ponder what's behind the eyes of those we see—and even, within the mirror's reflection of who you need to love most.”

I don’t even know where to begin on this day’s post number two, other than to ask my own “Why.” To allow the transparency I have promised you. So today, I’m reaching out in free-flowing a sincere stream of thoughts. Starting what I hope becomes an endless dialogue. Even a conversation—that in a distanced and vicarious way—might allow you an active role as you comment and take part in the sharing opportunities I’ll soon be launching. For in it all, and as we each open our ears, eyes, and hearts, perhaps there is a synergy to be formed as the diverse people we are. Me, the 60-year-old white dude revealing his heart as a listener, moderator, and distiller—and you, a diverse community I have grown to love in titling the compassionate majority. People I call strangers-now-friends who, over the last decade and in the thousands, have proven a great number are ready to, in the words of Gration (Day 218) “Share More Open Hand Than Fist.”

From every generation, gender, race, and outlook, many have stepped forward to trust me—and to you, the audience of my blogs, podcasts, talks, and outreach, please accept my deep and genuine thank you. Because for me, I wish no grandeur. I feel it is more important to credit you as you live forward your example within the circle of your influence.

For over a decade, Sidewalk Ghosts and the Radstone Blog have engaged in topics and conversations far beyond myself. Narratives that have become impossible for me to cease (and God above knows I’ve tried). A confession to you in stating; I am ready to do my part to rekindle the fire we have let simmer far too long.

To those of you here for the first time, please accept my hand of acceptance in whoever and wherever you are. I welcome you into a community that transcends commonality and difference. A place where we can give and receive as we strive to find center in seeing each other with empathetic minds. For in the exchange of our hidden histories, our joys, our pains, and in allowing consideration toward others, is a power to progress as contributors to this world we share (toward those we agree with, and even with those we object to).

So on this day two of a no-ended commitment, I write this rather soap-boxy and poetic post. Opening to you more of who I am as I work to evolve how this blog can best serve you—admission to a beyond-myself effort. One in which I need your support to grow.

I know. A rather obtuse and poetic entry this is. But as you take it in, may I ask for your pause? For as we grow in this shared experience, I promise a tactile and visible throughline. If you will, an actionable message taught me over a lifetime of interactions with now numberless individuals—all who bravely and honestly opened their hearts and lives to us as they shared their experiences and perspectives. And, in gratitude to you who have trusted me with your stories, I hope you are reading this now. Thank you!

Yes, the Radstone Blog is re-emerging from the mothballs! And as we set sail, might we once again find peace as we ponder what’s behind the eyes of those we see—and even, within the mirror’s reflection of who you need to love most.

Talk tomorrow my good friends,

Richard

Day 520: I Submit to the Big Question – “WHY”

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I'm wide awake now! My tongue stuck to the roof of my mouth from the dryness of smashing a pillow around my face.

Tonight my dog won! 80 ounces of carpet-soiling K-9 with the fortitude to stress me to the max. So in an attempt to escape the bedside sound of her licking herself to my insanity, I now find myself trying to fall asleep in the guest room. All the while, my 97-year-old dementia mother strolling the hallway on an all-so-squeaky walker. A privilege that for the last 7 years my family, no– my wife, has fully accepted in being her full-time caregiver.

I’m wide awake now! My tongue stuck to the roof of my mouth from the dryness of smashing a pillow around my face. 

I’m wide awake now! My tongue stuck to the roof of my mouth from the dryness of smashing a pillow around my face. But, I’m a good son. I promised my departed father I’d take care of her. Yet, to be fully transparent, I’d be a liar if I did not confess that my thoughts tonight are shamefully sharp and dismissive— Especially as I reflect on the sacrifice and effort made on the part of my wife. Who does that for a mother-in-law?

I push down my 2 AM selfishness as I teeter from held-back anger and fatigue to compassion. Mindsets that lately and most embarrassingly, have grown uncomfortably familiar to me. An emotional distraction that has shadowed the creative night dreamer and optimist I am.

I submit. Are you OK? I ask her.

Yet, as I embrace the realities of my life and face an extremely exhausted emotional self, a certain clarity is coming back into my heart and mind. An inventory propelled as I review the experiences of 2021-2022 past. A year that, as I listed the responsibilities of life, led me to uproot myself, my family, and all that was familiar to me to accept a career opportunity in another state. You know! The smart choice! The secure and comfortable thing to do! Yet as the relocation progressed, and as I succeeded in fulfilling my commitments and milestones, the champagne glass quickly yellowed. Turns out, all was not as it appeared to be. Thus, begins another rebirth and acceptance of lessons learned. A chapter to fully honor my authentic self and a time to recommit to releasing all I can to you, my known and unknown audience.

If you’ve followed me over the last decade, you’ve probably listened to my soapboxes, critiqued my views, met the faces of, and heard perspectives from 100s of strangers to you. If you’ve associated or worked with me over the last 30 years, I hope we’ve shared some meaningful moments and created some palpable work. Maybe you’ve liked, or (and it’s way okay) disliked my photos, films, writings, and podcasts. But in all, I promise I’ve at least strived to be open and honest. 

It is in this vulnerability I must come clean to confess that over the last few years I’ve become a little forced. All for good intent, mind you. Had to go through the learning curve of podcast production, streaming tech, website development, crowdfunding, speaking, and so much trial and error with Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and (Heaven help me) TikTok. So here it is: I’m maxed out and have decided to go back to the grassroots that got us all together in the first place— the blog world (although I will still be integrating with social channels and other ways to contribute and share).

So again, I submit.

Release myself from the worldly definitions of what it means to be a provider and trust an outlook that has consistently directed me. This a statement I do not take lightly as I consider the cultural, political, social, and economic times we are now facing. And as I open up to you, my wishes are humble. That I can be in tune with the spiritual, emotional, and intellectual promptings that are rising in me (as I did during the freeflow narrative of 2011). Able to be enlightened, directed, and helpful in connecting us in a dialogue of purpose. Just like what happened as 10s of thousands followed, contributed to, and lived forward the messages found within the stories of the original 365-day stranger-meeting challenge.

In going forward (this time with a lot fewer typos— thank you Grammarly), I’ll not be placing a deadline on when we will stop, or be trying to recreate what was (although we’ll resume a few of the ways that worked for you to share your wisdom and experience). But overall, this voyage is going to be different: Not only focused on meeting a stranger every day (although we will meet many); it will be more organic. There will be more in-the-moment writings, new social observations, fresh essays, never seen poetry, a range of mixed media stories, and perspectives from all kinds of people.

As before, I’ll be asking some of the original 365 questions. Yet, in this outreach, I’ll be incorporating an additional question: A speaking point that can grow our dialogue regarding who we are as diverse people. Hopefully, even strengthen our empathy toward others as we pause to consider what we, as individuals, are going through. That question—simply this… WHY?

I’m looking forward to seeing where we go!

Talk tomorrow my friends,

Richard

Day 348: The gentle giant

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“I’d tell everybody to treat each other like you want to be treated. There are a lot of different people in the world, but still, we are cut from the same cloth. We’re people. We’re human. It’s not about ethnicity. Even though the world sees it that way. But I don’t see it that way.”

He sat ominously under the shade of a tree. His sheer stature taking a dominant section of the city bench as we shared a few minutes together as he waited for his wife to conclude a doctor’s appointment. It would have been easy for me to judge, profile, or make assumptions regarding his intent. 

But if there is anything 365 has taught me, that is to see the world for what it is– a planet covered with unknown people. And even though it would have been easy for me to imagine the intent of today’s stranger-now-friend Michael, I’m glad I did not. For in him is a core that most of us share– a unanimous want to be loved, appreciated, and respected for who we are, or in difficult cases, who we were, or even, who we want to become. In that, a lesson comes into view. It is not any one of our duties to cast ourselves as judge, jury, or prosecutor in how we view those we don’t know.

The above might sound cliche or finger-pointing for me to state. But today, I’ve earned the chops to make this claim. You see, I’ve been wandering the sidewalks for hours, and after a flurry of crucifying brush-offs, approaching strangers has not been a pleasant experience. Rejections, some even threatening, that had me shaken up as I reached out to Michael. But here’s the thing, in every face turned away from me this day, I’ve kept my intent pure. That in itself is a great healer to the esteem hits I’ve taken throughout 365. Even the subtext that keeps me going.

Now, I’m not saying that by any means I’m a master of Zen. I’m as mortal as any of us. Just as suspect to projecting the negative as well as the positive. And yes, my emotions run away the same as, I guess, it does for you. However, there is a guiding question I must ask. Are we keeping our internal dialogues in check by not letting our emotions and thoughts run wild? Hard to do, I know. But I promise you one thing, the rewards are great! A lesson taught me, and I hope, mirrored in you, as we’ve met these hundreds of individuals throughout this project.

So it is with this subtext I reached out to Michael as he sat shaded from the heat of the afternoon sun. In me, no malice to hurt, no judgmental finger pointed, nor any agenda other than wanting to meet another human for who he is.

Upon my introduction, Michael is reserved, yet in his held-back caution, I see an open mind.

It’s always scary approaching strangers, I share as I expose my insecurity in opening up to him.

He thinks for a beat, then, “Yeh. I’ll do it.” I take a seat beside him.

As we talk, and despite the occasional thunder of passing trucks, we find our time together rather peaceful. And even though we are buried in the hum of the continued pulse of smaller moving vehicles, Michael is undistracted in his opening advice to the world: 

“I’d tell everybody to treat each other like you want to be treated.

There are a lot of different people in the world, but still, we are cut from the same cloth. We’re people. We’re human. It’s not about ethnicity. Even though the world sees it that way. But I don’t see it that way.”

Shaking the ground, an eighteen-wheeler thunders by. A brief pause and Michael picks up where he left off:

“I think we’d live in a whole much better world if people would just take the time and hear what the next person’s got to say and to pass something on that is good if they do have something to say.”

Michael speaks of his observations of society. “You have people that are here for one reason or another. For whatever they think they may stand for, or what they might do, or something like that.

I find today that a lot of people are unapproachable. But still, there are a lot of people who are approachable. I’m no individual to judge, but you can pretty much see the good from the bad, and sometimes I miss a call. The person that you think is bad, is not. And the person you think is good, is actually bad. It all depends on how well you get to know the individual, and what they are going through.”

There are a lot of different people in the world, but still, we are cut from the same cloth. We’re people. We’re human. It’s not about ethnicity. Even though the world sees it that way. But I don’t see it that way.”

The wisdom in Michael’s eyes is revealed. His words lifted me after the hours of rejection I encountered in my journey to meet him. My take on what he is challenging us to do? We need to, at least, be open to getting to know the people around us– not judging; and surely, not attacking. And my hopes are for those of us who can posture up to the call, that we can end our days with a restful feeling as we put our heads on our pillows. The knowledge of a day well spent. Not carrying malice toward others.

“It all depends on how well you get to know the individual and what they are going through,” Michael states. His council confirms that none of us have an idea of what is inside another person at first glance. What looks like dismissible intolerance could actually be loss, despair, or lowliness. Or, the sound of ecstatic laughter could be a shroud for escaping any range of hidden hurts. There is no absolute answer to knowing the underlying experiences another person is going through. But if we learn to trust our inner voices, perhaps we can view each other with compassion and inquiring minds.

I’m not saying that we have to be saviors to the world, just open to taking an extra second in governing our minds as we see and interact with all that we meet or pass by.

Here’s an exercise I do from time to time. I tell myself, they were once infants, just like me. Then I reflect, what happened to them to make them who they are? And as Michael has brought to our attention, “We have no idea of what they have gone through, or are going through.”

“People seem to be disconnected today,” Michael continues,  “and a lot of it has to do with technology.

You walk, and you see a lot of young kids. They have headphones on, and they’re really not paying attention to their surroundings. They are looking up. They are looking down at their phone screens or texting.

To me, it seems that if we keep heading in that direction, we are going to fall out of touch with the real value of human socialness. And if it keeps going like it is, people are just going to fall out of touch with each other.

People are not aware of their surroundings, and I don’t think they really care. It’s all about right now! They are not looking into the future. 

I don’t see a real good future for us. That in the next twenty years or so I would hope things would change or get better. but I don’t know.

People don’t talk anymore. Really talk! You know! Try to see where you are coming from. The way I look at it, the Internet, the iPhones, the iPads, even with them, everyone is disconnected.”

My only words to Michael, “You’re not alone, my friend.”

So to you, the readers of my content, the users of social apps, and any of you who are seeing hours pass as you gaze into the screens of technology. Please, keep using it. It’s a great tool! But not the best destination. So, in your routines, Michael has one basic request, put the tech aside in balancing our lives. Get out and meet people the old-fashioned way– Face to Face. He says, “It just works better that way.” 

Day 256: Hey, I’m a teenager, I don’t know everything

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“If life were perfect, then everything would suck and there would be nothing to learn.”

I get into a sidewalk discussion with a couple of unknown neighbors. Denise (not pictured) loves the 365 project. “You should interview my sixteen-year-old son, he always has something to say.”

Five minutes later, I’m standing at the door meeting her the young and brilliantly outspoken Daniel.

I’ve often said the future is in good hands, and Daniel is at the front of the pack in supporting my claim. With a perfect 4.0 GPA, Daniel is not only intelligent; he is wise beyond his years.

Denise invites me into their home for a neighborly visit. I have to tell you it’s been cool getting to know not only the people of my city and wherever I travel, but also those that live so close to me. This alone forces me to challenge you to do the same.

You often hear me spout from my soapbox, “Say hello to the world!” And with the experience of this entry, I guess we all have to ask ourselves– Do we truly know our neighbors?

Back to Daniel.

“Look to tomorrow. Today’s problems are going to be gone.”

“Look to tomorrow. Today’s problems are going to be gone.” he proposes as he accelerates our conversation to a deeper level.

We dive into a lengthy chat, and to keep the word count down, I’ll simply summarize Daniel’s point. Too many people are caught up in the wants of the now, or distracted by the loudest influences that hit them, and us, every day. I’ve called it “The Storm Of Life” in past entries.

And at sixteen Daniel has found a secret many of us much older folks are still trying to master. The way I see it, he is living toward the future, not obsessing about the now. And as he does, he is letting go of what he can’t control by acting on what he can.

“Today’s problems are going to be gone,” Daniel advises. His council leaving us a palpable action point. Do what we can now, and ponder how our actions will affect the future.

Daniel talks of letting go and of his view of the world, “If everything was answered for us, or if life was perfect, there would be no point in living.

It’s hard being a teenager. There is peer pressure, insecurity, discovering emotions, feelings you don’t understand, bullying, and starting to notice girls – a big part of being a teenage guy. You start to get depressed because it’s too much to absorb. You think there is no way out, but eventually, you start to understand.”

Everyone is all about being the best at any cost. They focus on the me. The individual. Asking what makes me happy, and never looking at how they can help others.”

With a smile on his face, Daniel puts it into its plainest expression, “If life were perfect, then everything would suck and there would be nothing to learn. We need to find humanity. There is very little of it in our society. Everyone is all about being the best at any cost. They focus on the me. The individual. Asking what makes me happy, and never looking at how they can help others.”

In my mind, Daniel is discussing balance, and I am strikingly impressed that in speaking with such a young man, the topic has even arisen.

Daniel is proof the future just might be in good hands. Hands that are forward-thinking, compassionate in seeking a better world, and best of all– realistic.

“It’s going to get worse,” Daniel forecasts.

Yet with his prediction, he directs us to what we can do to counter his apprehensions of a worsening path. With youthful energy, “Live your life in a way that you feel is actually helpful. Don’t worry about what others are doing… just do what is right. But hey, I’m just a teenager. I don’t know everything.”

“Live your life in a way that you feel is actually helpful. Don’t worry about what others are doing… just do what is right. But hey, I’m just a teenager. I don’t know everything.”

Day 77: BLACK FRIDAY???

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“We’ve been doing this for six years. It’s our chance to hang out and catch up.”

It’s Thursday morning and I’m prepping for the afternoon Thanksgiving meal to come. It’s the one meal of the year that is pure gluttony married to a feast with a purpose: To be thankful for my blessings and the family that I have. As dysfunctional as it can be at times, I still love them, and as usual, I prepare not only for a giant meal, but ready myself to experience every emotion smashed into a very short time. Every year we gather at one destination, my sister’s house in Laguna Hills. We come from all over to reunite, eat, sleep, and partake of the tradition of all traditions, The Black Friday Sales.

I’m not the shopper of the group; my role, catch up on sleep and to keep the couch soft and warm for afternoon movies. I’m good with that. My wife is the line keeper, the most patient of the bunch (and because is not interested in the sales) is drafted to hold spots in line as the rest of the group plans their strategy for the next bargain. It’s sort of a leap-frog thing, very well orchestrated with the finesse of a highly planned military operation. You’ve got to see it to appreciate it.

This year I have one other laid-back companion in my sleeping brigade, my Nephew Aaron.

The shopping countdown has begun, T-minus nine hours and counting to the 12 AM commencement of Operation Shop-Hop. Over the aroma of foods almost ready for consumption, the troops begin to strategize, “The Disney Store opens at midnight, are we going? Are we getting up at 5 or 6 AM!? The line is already forming at Best Buy, do we go there or not?”

Already lining up at Best Buy? Never have I lined up for days to hit a sale. I’m extremely interested. And enlisting the support of Nephew Aaron, I set out to investigate.

We drive to Best Buy and spy a line of chairs, tents, and bundled people. All look like hearty shoppers and numbering around fifty. Why hearty shoppers? It’s cold, looks like rain is coming, and the store doors don’t even open for over 24 hours.

To the front of the line we quest and are completely rejected by chair one. Chair two nods us off, followed by the support of chairs three and four. Fifth in line takes it to a new level, “I can’t have my photo taken, I’m in the Government.” We appreciate the humor and move on. Didn’t feel right anyway.

Past the chaired shoppers and up to the first set of tents we travel. I’m now even more inquisitive in my desire to be allowed into this boutique culture. At tent one, we meet two well-equipped young gents. Their post looks more like a mountaineer base camp than that of a waiting-for-a-sale encampment.

I’m telling you, these guys have it down, multiple tents, lightweight chairs, sleeping bags, provisions, a power source, and even a television (got to have some luxury). I need to understand Black Friday and they look like they know exactly how things work. Perhaps they will enlighten us, I extend a hand of fellowship.

By the way, there is one item I’ve already found out from the front of the line that is the hot buy. The Reason the encampment started on Tuesday for a store that opens on Friday. You do the math. I do a little in my head and come to this conclusion– there is no way I’m sleeping on the curb, possibly in the rain, for three nights to get a $199 forty-two-inch flat screen.

What I quickly learn, from our camping friends, Twan and Chris, it’s not all about the sale, it’s about the experience and bonding with friends.

“We’ve been doing this for six years. It’s our chance to hang out and catch up.”

Twan and Chris are very gracious, offering Aaron and I chairs in inviting us to stay a while. We join the camp and I realize the eyes that were earlier upon us as strangers, have turned to momentary friends.

Thirty minutes into our exchange, even one of the first to reject us (I think chair three) strolls over to engage in the conversation, there is obviously something peaking his attention. Is it me, or is it Twan, or Chris? I can’t say. But whatever it is, we are now part of something.

Our discussion starts as do most introductions. I speak of the origins of 365, and my family’s interest in Black Friday and we exchange a few general questions; you know, the basic common graces in getting comfortable with each other stuff.

We chat for about thirty minutes and the topics lean towards the future and wisdom for the readers of 365.

Here is where my earlier question is answered. Is it me, or is it Twan or Chris? I can’t say. But whatever it is, we are now part of something.

But I still think it is Chris.

Not two minutes before we are visited by chair three, Chris says to me, “I am a Christian. Just thirty minutes before you guys showed up, I said a prayer asking for a chance to share what I believe.”

“I am a Christian. Just thirty minutes before you guys showed up, I said a prayer asking for a chance to share what I believe.”

Our topic as we are visited by a vicarious friend three: Faith and the Bible. Now I must state, I do have my beliefs, but do not proclaim them openly in 365. From the beginning, I have continually reminded us that 365 is an open discussion of whatever my interviewees decide to share. My job is to draw no conclusions, and other than the occasional blurb for a small business, I do not promote any spiritual, or political agendas.

Yet, as is our visitor from chair three, I am engaged in the topic. Chris quotes several poignant scriptural passages.

From Philippians, Chapter 4 / Verse 13:

“I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.”

From Matthew, Chapter 6 / Verses 25 to 33:

“25 Therefore I say unto you, Take no thought for your life, what ye shall eat, or what ye shall drink; nor yet for your body, what ye shall put on. Is not the life more than meat, and the body than raiment?

26 Behold the fowls of the air: for they sow not, neither do they reap, nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feedeth them. Are ye not much better than they?

27 Which of you by taking thought can add one cubit unto his stature?

28 And why take ye thought for raiment? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow; they toil not, neither do they spin:

29 And yet I say unto you, That even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these.

30 Wherefore, if God so clothe the grass of the field, which to day is, and to morrow is cast into the oven, shall he not much more clothe you, O ye of little faith?

31 Therefore take no thought, saying, What shall we eat? or, What shall we drink? or, Wherewithal shall we be clothed?

32 (For after all these things do the Gentiles seek:) for your heavenly Father knoweth that ye have need of all these things.

33 But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.

“No matter how many times you fall down, pick yourself up. Follow your dream and keep filling the well.”

In the words of Twan (Who by the way, comes from a Buddhist background):

“No matter how many times you fall down, pick yourself up. Follow your dream and keep filling the well.”

Our vicarious listener of chair three leaves, Twan expresses his thanks for the discussion, and Aaron and I travel back to the family shopping chaos.

“Follow your dream and keep filling the well,” Twan says. I think he is talking about having faith and letting go to a higher power.

All I can say is this, No matter whether Gentile or Jew, Muslim or Hindu, We are all in this life together and someone is listing in guiding us to a better path.

Funny how the holidays bring out the best in so many.

Per the line, I get it now. Sure, many are here for the deals, But the best part of it, people are here to be with people. And the presence of Chris and Twan is inspired.

Great breaking bread with you my friends!

Now I’m off to eat!

Day 281: A burger that introduced me to a brighter light

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“I was getting famous, it was turning me into a product and I did not like it. That is when I went into finance.”

“I was getting famous, it was turning me into a product and I did not like it. That is when I went into finance,” Jerry accounts his life.

Over the last nine months, hundreds of people have now graciously given of themselves in contributing to 365. All brave individuals who without reserve have allowed us into their lives by trusting me to forward their stories, advice, and photos to you.

Several times have we discussed the laws of attraction and also have experienced several unexplainable meetings of strangers turned friends.

From connecting third parties beyond our circle of influence to answering literal prayers and personal reflections, it’s all occurred within the 365 journeys.

Some have been powerfully apparent, while others not so much. We’ve even experienced days where we have struggled to find acceptance from anyone or have found ourselves in somewhat contrite and forced interviews. But nonetheless, in all, I, and I hope you, have been thoroughly fascinated.

We are indeed a unique population with so much depth, so much diversity, and so much combined experience. From pains to joys, we have shared. Yet what is apparent is we are all connected in one wish in one way or another– a want for a better world, to be able to freely live our individual perspective, and do it on a planet filled with kinder people.

Today is no exception as I find myself at a funky little burger joint. Killing time and looking at what I’m eating, I’m sure my arteries as well.

I’m getting stuffed to the gills, and as I ingest my last bite of saturated cholesterol, a well-mannered guy sits at the booth directly in front of me. Our eyes meet, and without my prompt, this stranger greets me with a warm expression of acceptance.

I would be wrong if I did not reciprocate in an equally engaging gesture!

“Hello, how are you?” I reply.

We pick up a friendly and casual conversation, and Jerry, once stranger-now-friend, agrees to join us in our 365 mission of unity.

“The age-old question as to what is the meaning of life is found in two words,” Jerry summarizes, “Expression and Experience– Every living and non-living thing is expressing a quality of that which created it. So what we express we will experience, Period! Look at an atom, electrons spinning around, communicating, the nucleus is the mother, and the electrons are the children. And that analogy pulls it all together so you can see it very clearly.”

Jerry is a man of many talents (or perhaps gifts): A self-diagnosed clairvoyant, a well-grounded businessman, a financial advisor, and a spiritual consultant. From this, he has pooled a vast base of knowledge. A set of perspectives he does not flaunt, but rather, personal concepts he trusts to guide his life. His agenda is apparent, to outreach as far as he can in living centered on what he feels in his heart.

Yet, in his claim, he remains objective, kind, optimistic, and extremely approachable. 

“I used to work with Uri Geller on the Powers of the Paranormal. Uri told me to be careful with my gifts and not to show them off. I was under a contract to perform, and at that moment, I realized I had to change my life. I negotiated out of the contract, and that is when I moved into the financial business. I was very successful. Became very rich in five years (I won’t tell you Jerry’s past worth, and he has the saved bank statements to prove it). But due to the greed and dishonesty of others, I lost it when I moved from Texas to California. I even realized that my marriage was under false pretenses, so I gave what I had left to her and I’m much happier now.”

“I was very successful. Became very rich in five years (I won’t tell you Jerry’s past worth, and he has the saved bank statements to prove it). But due to the greed and dishonesty of others, I lost it when I moved from Texas to California. I even realized that my marriage was under false pretenses, so I gave what I had left to her and I’m much happier now.”

Jerry has a highly spiritual view of humanity and the planet. “The world at large?” He pauses, then continues. “Thoughts and things are very much alike. And, we should approach life as if it is a thought, and not a thing. Move the words around. Things are thoughts. Not thoughts are things. Your experience meets with your expression to create unique points of attraction. Not so much as drawing something to you. That requires a great labor of thought. But if we can learn to use our thoughts as platforms to reach out, and tether onto the dream, and draw it in. I call it Metaphynetics.”

Jerry is an extreme optimist. Passionate regarding his view of a positive mindset, good values, and the potential for a united world.

“I see democracy coming around!” he speaks with conviction. “It’s too beautiful of an idea to throw to the wayside, because none of the other systems have worked as well: And with that, most of the world population being Muslim.”

I did a little research. Jerry is correct in his claim. Per 2012: Christianity, 31% to 35% or 2.1 – 2.5 billion people; Islam, 23% or 1.6 billion people.

“And when they start seeing how to separate church and state, then that progress will relieve much poverty. You see, most of those impoverished nations are Muslim nations.”

Now Jerry is not bagging on the Muslim faith. He is referring to how time-generated hatred in the name of faith can become epidemic. And in this reference, Jerry calls all of us to accountability to observe our faith to their fullest. To value whatever we choose to believe, yet as we do, to extend the same consideration to others.

But there is one thing Jerry certainly makes clear. In the end, we all worship the same God. The creator of the universe. In this, I think he is asking us to align our actions in living our lives with eyes turned toward the world around us.

And with the aid of his Muslim statistic, Jerry postulates. “It’s not so much the religion, but you can’t do business with someone in the name of Ala.”

My take. Jerry is instructing us to respect individual value systems and navigate our relationships and associations with honor and honesty.

Yes, Jerry is an intriguing human being. His concepts, although somewhat ethereal, are well-founded, creative, and lucid. And using a well-defined description of faith, “the substance of things hoped for, and the evidence of things not yet seen,” he goes on to link to our financial systems.

“Faith… That’s what our currency is based on. But we are the collateral.

So if we have faith in each other, and that the system of democracy, the one that is as close to God’s system of man doing business with man. It will all go right back to expression and experience. Patience is the expectancy of good. And when you are waiting for something good, it seems like it takes longer. It feels that way because the body has a clock in it. Call it saccadic rhythms. What we fear seems to come quicker because we are on Adrenalin at that point.” 

Makes me think of the hindsight is 20/20 theory and the discussions we have shared regarding embracing all of our experiences– both the good and the bad.

Jerry humbles. “After I lost my wealth, it made me check my core.

The whole field of humanity opened up to me, and it will for anyone if they operate from love. No matter where they are, and if they are truly doing it.”

Per the future? Again Jerry speaks as if prophetic. “In five of ten years. Islam will create a separation of church and state. Technology will overrule, and peace will start to expand.” 

Jerry, thank you for opening your mind, your heart, and our eyes.

Hope to run into you again my friend; we can pick our discussion back up.

Day 232: A guide to all the is good

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“There is always a tomorrow. To me, it’s not worth stressing too much.”

Every year an American tradition has happened since the dawn of modern education: The High School Prom.

A night where young men rehearse gentlemanly conduct (they better) as they escort young ladies to fairytale evenings (we pray) as each practice social graces. And behind every elegantly dressed teen is a mother, a father, or other mixtures of family dynamics.

Tonight is that very night, and I find myself dead center in activity as I gather with such a group of parents and guardians. All of whom have decided to give their kids a heartfelt wave as they prepare to make prom memories.

Around me are twenty-two of the most beautifully and handsomely dressed kids, all coming together at the home of one of my most respected and long-time friend, Tom (not pictured). The coordinator of tonight’s bus limousine prom start. And in telling this story, I need to tell you a little about Tom. For his persona does lead to the meeting of today’s stranger turned friend.

Tom is a spiritual man. A great example of living a life committed to family values. And in introducing him, I have to state that he is a person centered on love for community. Please know. I use the word love intentionally, and in choosing it, I assure you that I understand the depth of its meaning. If ever I have met a man who exemplifies the purest of benevolence towards his fellow human, it’s Tom. Plus, it doesn’t hurt that he is also a constant fan of 365. Not that he has the time to read every story. His support is more than solely reading our narrative. He believes in the project and puts his faith in others at front in all he does. So to receive an introduction from him is a call to listen.

“Do you know Marilene? If not, you have to meet her. She is an amazing woman,” Tom proposes.

The bus pulls away, and as parents depart, I introduce myself to Marilene. She is all in.

“I have learned that from experience. I’m a worrier at heart. Something that was part of my life from the start, growing up with a dad who was very negative and worried about everything. But after time, I realized that is not a healthy way to live.”

Tom calls Marilene amazing, and as she shares her wisdom, a statement that describes her pops into my mind. For Marilene is “a guide to all that is good.” 

“There is always a tomorrow. To me, it’s not worth stressing too much,” Marilene shares in her native French accent. “I have learned that from experience. I’m a worrier at heart. Something that was part of my life from the start, growing up with a dad who was very negative and worried about everything. But after time, I realized that is not a healthy way to live.”

Advice that I’m guessing many of us can relate to, and if so, probably has you looking at the hidden gems you are carrying from your youth. Those dark and bright moments that have contributed to the evolution of who you now are.

Yet, Marilene does not cite any blame or contempt. To quote, “I have hope for everything.” A hope that healed her from the unexpected loss of her husband when he passed away.

How many kids do you have? I ask.

“Four… and they are great!” Marilene reacts.

“We have a lot of love in our house, and they help me stay young.”

I have met many single parents. All of whom are doing their best to raise balanced children. And to be more personal, I cannot even fathom single-handedly raising my one child. So, hearing Marilene is caring for four teens by herself. Well, that’s an undertaking that gets my complete respect and admiration.

There is a question that is becoming a regular inquiry. A question that not one of my single parenting friends has avoided: What advice do you have for other single parents?

Without hesitation and bearing a most peaceful and infectious countenance, Marilene responds. “Be close to your kids. Talk to them. And never forget that you are a team! Even when they are teens, I promise they do listen, and they do understand. Even when you think they are not.”

We shift gears toward to future, and in her signature positive form, Marilene formats her views using a blend of poignant reality and ingratiating optimism. 

“The idea of a global world is something that I see coming. We have to help countries that are having troubles. But what’s hard about it is that we can’t change people. Maybe in a hundred years, people will look at each other differently. It’s going to be a slow change. But one that will happen.”

Dear Marilene, we’ll take heed to your council. Thanks for inspiring us!

Day 101: Gambling the right way

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“I’ve overcome a lot, drinking, hard drugs, the loss of a business (a sports bar), and a failed marriage.”

From time to time, I’ve spoken of my birthplace, London, England. And though my family migrated to the United States in 1961, me being age one, my blood still runs Brit. Love my Roast Beef and Yorkshire pud, balancing my peas on the back of the fork, and any form of dry wit.

My first year on American soil was spent in Los Angeles, and upon finding work as a tailor, my father relocated the family to Las Vegas in 1962, a story in itself.

In a way, I am a Vegas guy, but in no way subscribe to the Las Vegas hype, “What Happens in Vegas, Stays in Vegas.”

I’ll admit, I had a studio there in the late 80s, even lived the all-nighter life when I became a big fish in the city. 

But my heyday was short-lived, and it all came crashing down in the early 90s. After that, I relocated to Los Angeles. Sort of reversing my father’s LA to LV path.

No regrets about leaving Las Vegas, my campaign headline, “What’s Raised in Las Vegas, Leaves Las Vegas.”

There was a time when I said, “Lots of memories, but no future.” Farthest from the truth, Los Angeles has been very good to me.

So, why do I share this history? I feel I have to in introducing our new friend of day 101, Daniel. His trade? Professional Gambler.

“Ah? The Las Vegas connection? We get it!”

Hollywood has done us wrong with its interpretation of the sex appeal in gambling and the excitement of endless nightlife. And, I’m sure many of us have seen the darkness of its addiction– with friends, or perhaps even ourselves falling paralyzed, or worse, destroyed by the seductive allure of the big win.

I have walked the edge of the Scene, experiencing it from both sides of the coin (no pun intended). I’ve worked with Casino executives and cheered on many gamblers. Fortunately for me, I dodged the snare of the gaming trap, but I know the players and the game.

So to meet a pro gambler in a very suburban part of the San Fernando Valley hits me as both sublime and powerful. Why sublime? Daniel is a regular guy residing in a regular neighborhood. A person with a regular life, and yes, a regular workweek. He has no bling, wears no Armani, and is not clenching fists of greed-earned money. Like I said, a regular guy, doing regular things on a regular Sunday.

I run into Daniel as he rakes leaves in his front yard. It’s a scene that I can, in no way, pass on as I drive by him this day.

In my first meeting with Daniel, he is warm, welcoming, and doing his best to take care of his home. His yard is well-groomed; has no pomp, and is not filled with hot cars– just a comfortable home in a regular neighborhood.

A shining example of balance, Daniel is. But the irony of it all, he is a professional gambler living by modest means, and an equally modest lifestyle.

He holds no punches in telling his story. “I’ve overcome a lot, drinking, hard drugs, the loss of a business (a sports bar), and a failed marriage.”

I ask Daniel if he is happy. “I am,” he tells me, elaborating, “I’ve never been focused on material things. I’ve learned that life has peaks and valleys; you just have to roll with them and not let them get to you. What is important is appreciating every moment in life as opportunity for learning.”

 

“I’ve never been focused on material things. I’ve learned that life has peaks and valleys; you just have to roll with them and not let them get to you. What is important is appreciating every moment in life as opportunity for learning.”

Earlier I used the word “powerful” in introducing Daniel. I know we can all agree on his above philosophy, a concept to which many of us are subscribing, as proven by the numerous interviews of 365.

What is fascinating is the variety of means, and life experiences, many have shared with us in defining their outlooks. From courageous life changes to humble acceptance, self-concern to concern for others, and from wealthy to homeless one message is coming to the surface in shining colors. We, as a whole, are not that different. We just need to look past the surface.

Daniel: Powerful? 

It takes character to self-evaluate and to grow stronger from doing so. And growth is what Daniel is all about. He credits his rebirth to the Dalai Lama.

“I read a book that changed my life. I was angry at the world, and it controlled my life. His book healed me, and for that, I will forever be a better man.”

Daniel is a testament to self-control and thoughtfulness for others. “You have to use every moment as a test to master yourself. It’s like if a person cuts you off on the freeway, and they are raging. Don’t judge that person. Just use the moment for positive. Don’t get mad or react. That way, you contribute a positive message to the world. And in turn, overcome your weaknesses.”

I start to realize the depth of Daniel and his advice.

He continues, “In Vegas casinos, I can be intimidating, I’m all tatted and look like a skinhead. But really, I’m just going bald. Sometimes people are scared of me.”

I lift my hat, relating to him on the balding issue.

“From the way people view me I have learned to be patient, and I treat all people the way I want to be treated– with tolerance.”

Daniel sums up as he reveals the course of his life’s change.

“I did have an anger management problem, I paid the price, but all is in check now. Life is good, I’m re-married, happy, and have freedom of mind and time to do what a love doing.”

Daniel, thanks for showing us how to gamble the right way.