Friendship

SideWalk Ghosts / Interview 47: “You’ve Got To Have Respect For Other People”

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Last night I introduced you to Lieutenant Colonel Kevin Boal, promising to tell you of my experience with him.

Here we go. Bottom line, it was a roller coaster ride.

Flashback: Antoinette and I wrap up our interview, Colonel nowhere in sight. Pretty sure he has left to the liquor store a few doors down. I assume he is out.

I ready myself for a return home to enter my blog and begin to express my final thank you’s to Antoinette. As we do so, back to us returns Kevin. He is in full stride, taking control of the situation by jumping center stage in resuming his dialogue.

“Are you a veteran!!” he asks (it is not a mistake I use !! instead of ?). The question comes at me as sharp as a bullet. “No, I did not serve, I was between the draft and did not volunteer,” I reply. He looks away as if disgusted, leaving me carrying a set of mixed emotions. My legs wobble a little as I feel thoughts ranging from inadequacy to defensiveness.

Why!?! he blasts at me. Trying to gain his trust, “I was young, If I knew then what I know now, a may have enlisted.” “Are you f*#*ing stupid!” gets slammed back in my face as he chests up on me. Realizing there is no way I can get in his head and wanting to settle things down a bit, I look him in the eyes. “I’m speechless, there is no way I can understand what you went through.” He steps back and exhorts, “your, f*#ing* right.”

I’m thinking, “it’s over, we’re done, he is out of the game if I push him too far.”

But there is still a draw that I cannot escape. I need to know more. I decide to risk one more question, “will you let me interview you, you have a lot to share?” He shakes his head away, “I have nothing to say.”

Of to the side is Antoinette, witnessing the whole exchange. She has been observing silently, and somehow I think she is monitoring the situation. She contributes to the scene, “I think you have a lot of wisdom to share, you should do it.” Kevin again declines, “wisdom, right! I’ve got nothing to share!”

He again takes control of the moment and drops into testing me with an endless barrage of questions: California history, military facts, and asking if he can have my camera. I answer all to the best of my ability and hold my ground.

We go at it for 30 minute, or thereabouts, as we do the mood slowly changes to a more relaxed pace. An openness is starting to occur. The Colonel is beginning to let me in to his world.

We begin with simple exposures, “I’m part Sioux Indian and part Irish, watch out!” He says while cracking a smile. We are one hour into our chat, when he asks, ‘Want to see my office.”

I follow him through the laundromat as he lets me know that, up until a few days prior, he worked as security for the business. “I was told my services are no longer needed.” We walk through the facility; there are about 10 people at various stations, all in different stages of their cleaning rituals.

All seem to know the Colonel. The guy is a serious extrovert, complimenting everyone with various words and flirting with the women. None look away and engage with him as if they have personal history. Even two or three customers come up in trusting him with their customer service questions. It is obvious that he is no stranger and this confirms to me of his past employment.

We continue our travel through the store and end up in the parking lot at the rear of the building. I find myself standing alone with him at the back door. His demeanor is changing. With arms to the sky, he states, “here it is!”

“You’ve got great air circulation and lots of elbow room… great office!” I express. He looks at me and laughs.

He squats by the door, grabs a bagged bottle and takes a drink. We are silent for a moment taking in the sky. He stands up, “look up there you can see Jupiter.” With one eye on him, one eye at the sky and my feet readied to take me through the door, I look up and acknowledge his sighting.

Back at me as if weighing me up, his eye line shifts, “what do you want to know? And promise you will not make me look like a jerk!” I give him my word, “there is no way you can look like a jerk, you have a lot of wisdom to share. The only jerks are the one’s who judge you.”

“I used to be a terrible person, but as I get older, I have grown.” He is very specific about the word grown. I once again try to empathize, “I understand, life has a way of changing us.” I am rebuked, “no I have grown!” He smiles again.

It is not all intense topics with The Colonel. He tells me of his four marriages, loss of a home in the 1995 Northridge earthquake, and his trials growing up. Some items very dark, others on the lighter side.

It is now that it strikes me, even though he has had a very difficult life, his is a proud Veteran, a loyal American and very serious about his country and fellow servicemen.

I wish I could write the solemn words he entrusts me with. But in honor to him I will tell you only this in regards to Lieutenant Colonel Kevin Boal, he has great depth and a history that deserves him his vices. At times he alarms me, and at others, with suppressed tears in his eyes, he also moves me.

90 minutes into our time together we return to the front of the building for our photo session, if that is what we can call it. Really, he stood for a couple of minutes, lit a cigarette and signed off.

The last lesson in military respect comes as we conclude our evening. A man walks up, taking a pause from his laundry duties. “Are you a veteran?” he directs at The Colonel. “Vietnam” is the reply.

The man goes on to state his service, and even though he did not see front line he shares, “I was scared shitless.” The Lieutenant Colonel immediately reaches out his hand, and over a firm handshake, says, “welcome home!” They both well up, but quickly hide their emotion.

I think I’m starting to get the message.

There have been quite a few military related entries over the last few weeks. I admit in not serving. But one thing is growing in my heart. Bless our servicemen and women. Their sacrifices are at times great.

So next time you come across a Lieutenant Colonel Kevin Boal in your neighborhood, there is one thing you need to do, tell them, “thank you… and welcome home!”

Kevin’s words to share, “you’ve got to have respect for other people.”

The Colonel leaves me with a challenge:
He tells me, “Yuwipi is my religion.” I looked it up. If you are interested in Sioux culture and faith, research it, very interesting.

SideWalk Ghosts / Interview 39: Call To Action In Helping A Neighbor

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For the last 38 meetings I have taken long notes; there is no need for that in interviewing my latest new friend Miguel. His story hits home in a very poignant way.

The economy has affected us all hard over the last years. Miguel is a testament to the depth of its effect on hard-working citizens.

He lives not far from my home, just a few blocks North of my street. Has a great work ethic, and pays his fair share of taxes. Yet he has not worked a paying day in over a year.

Not by any lack of effort or weakness of ability, mind you, rather by the forces of a down turning economy. A welder by trade, he was laid off of a well-paying position– one that not only supported him, but contributed to the security of his single mother and six siblings. Since that time he has applied for endless employment opportunities with no results. A situation I’m sure many of us have found ourselves experiencing on one level or another.

Miguel is one of an endless list of hard-working Americans, not looking for a handout, but a respectable job.

As we chat, I can see the concern in his face. He talks to me about the pain of unemployment, and its effects on him: Weight gain, a short bought of depression and the stress brought on by the possibly of loosing his home. All the while expressing his love for his mother and pride in his siblings.

Miguel is a good man!

After returning from an unsuccessful ninety minute driving and walking 365 search, I run into him only one hundred yards from my front door step. I’m sitting on the curb, not sure where to go and he finds me as he is returning from playing basketball with his brothers. We strike up a conversation, instantly I know I need to publish his story of tenacity.

We start off by talking about is his loss of over one hundred pounds, weight he rapidly gained at the start of an unemployment depression. A depression he rapidly overcame, realizing it would get him nowhere. He credits physical activity as a major contributor in keeping him grounded and on path to maintaining his health as well as a positive mental perspective. I’m very touched and impressed, knowing many people who battle with the same issues without success.

Miguel stands strong, committed, unshaken and humbly willing to share his story.

He tells me, “I’ll never fall that far into that depth of depression again,” going on to explain how that moment turned out to be a great motivator fo him as to where he does not want to be.

We brainstorm ideas for employment and I realize that I might have a lead or two for him — something I am planning on acting upon tomorrow, after all, “He is my neighbor.”

It is hard for him to answer my questions, but I can sense the weight of his desire to provide for his family is first and foremost on his agenda. No selfish words are in his vocabulary, again, only concern for his mother and siblings. You see, his father left when he was eight, making him the patriarch of the family. And please don’t get me wrong, this is no poor me story, quite the opposite. There is no guile or victim in Miguel’s tone. Even going on to state, “I am wanting to find my father and talk with him, to see who he is.”

He talks of his dream, simple and to the point, “Work to kick-in, so we can keep the house, everything, and I can help my family.”

I’m telling you, Miguel is a gentle giant, with one point-of-view: Family First.

His compassion is evident as he states his wishes for my readers, “Hope you don’t go through this.”

CALL TO ACTION:
The oldest of his siblings, Miguel carries an evident concern for his family. His greatest desire is to provide. Miguel is one in thousands of good people bearing the heavy burdens of unemployment. Not by choice, but by circumstance. He is not looking for charity. All he is seeking is a secure job where he can use his talents to provide for a family.

My challenge, if anyone has a lead on an opening for a highly experienced welder in the Greater Los Angeles Area, please let me know? I’ll pass it on. It’s the least we can do for our neighbor.

Miguel, keep the faith brother!

SideWalk Ghosts / Interview 38: “Some Make It A Bigger Deal Than It Has To Be”

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Jenna – Actress, Humorist, Humble Teacher

I start today at Vista Ford, home of my tragic leasing experience some fifteen years ago. For some reason I am inspired to visit the establishment once again. Don’t know why, but my gut is telling me it is where I need to start my 365 quest today.

I get this internal message loud and clear as I’m traveling East with my friend and driver for the afternoon, Danny. Vista five miles behind us, I question the prompting. Thinking why turn around? Backtrack a route already traveled? Makes no sense?

Committed as I am to 365, there is only one answer; “turn around, re-calculate and head West,” back to the gut inspired Ford dealership.

Back, past ten minutes of already traveled street we find ourselves wandering the car lot, “no one in sight.” A couple more minutes pass, our anticipated salesman approaches, politely sporting a white shirt and extroverted smile.

Not bagging on his effort, I feel no inspiration at all to photograph him. However, honest to the 365 effort, I know that I must invite him. As I assume, he declines the offer, leaving us with zero prospects in sight. It is a very hot summer afternoon. I am not surprised the area is void of people.

We withdraw to the shade of the car to continue our search for today’s 365 friend.

Two mile more to the West, Dan suggests a pit stop in a local shopping center, something about the suggestion feels right. “I wonder if the Vista Ford pit stop is an inspiration to pilot us in a new direction.” A romantic thought, and one that I will own.

Intermission:

Literally, as I am writing this entry, I’m looking across the table at six of my closest friends. Accompanied by their children, it’s Sunday family and social night. I’ve taken my break for the day and with dinner over, have settled into an evening of games, conversation and writing while we play. Everyone is getting used to me working on this blog. So even though they are with me in the journey, all harassment is fair game.

That said, It would be short-changing my friends to not publish their remarks. My friend Pam kicks in, “If you’re dissing us, you better write about me.” She challenges me, “I’m going to start my own blog on a leap year. So I’ll beat you with 366 days… eat that!”

She has started the “give it to Radstone train” and I gladly sport my target face. The whole group steps up to play and are all on a roll in tossing amazingly well though out jabs at me. It’s like a roast and I’m the guest of honor. I keep my focus and through jest after jest dart hitting me like bullets, I do not break stride. Words fly at me faster than I can record, none breaking my typing rhythm. I’m in keyboard nirvana.

Their effort is stellar. My following response is a tribute to their witty contributions of the evening; “zerberts to all and nose to the iPad for me.” I’m telling you, “I’m turning into a 365 writing machine.”

This verbal jousting barrage over, it’s karaoke time, a perfect jumping off point to take my leave in introducing you to today’ friend.

So with the haunting sounds of lounge music behind me, I ask you to welcome at center stage, our friend for the day: Jenna.

Danny and I stroll upon her chatting with friends outside of the Corner Club (a little sports bar) in Woodland Hills. The place is a touch out of my comfort zone, but there is a magnetic energy that inspires us to approach the group. As we arrive, we meet our first challenge, being able to tolerate the bantering from one member of the group. A friendly enough bloke who gives us a bit of a sarcastic hassle. It is obvious that he has no intentions of allowing us to photograph him. We allow him to state all of his input and he quietly retreats to the solace of the bar inside, leaving Jenna and I the privacy to talk.

At first I’m uncertain of where we will go in our conversation. Not knowing exactly how to relate, I jump right in with question #2, “Is there anything you would like to share with my readers?” That’s all it takes. Instantly Jenna and I are deep in discussion. She has a ton to say and all is very relevant. As always, now I know why I am here, at this place, at this time, standing with Jenna.

First off, Jenna has a sweet spirit about her. She begins her council by stating, “Life is tough for everybody, but some make it a bigger deal than it has to be. They forget about each other, overreact and disregard the fact that we are all in this life together.”

A struggling actor, Jenna has experienced the high and lows of being an artist. Yet she is highly optimistic, quoting as piece of advice she picked up from a Martin Scorsese interview, His father’s advice: “Nothing is more tragic than a wasted talent.”

She goes on to tell me that although this has been an incredibly difficult year, she has reached a time in her life where she is no longer fighting for control. And doing so has bought many new opportunities to her. She is honest with me in what is helping to pay her bills, a YouTube spoof on sex advise, telling me that although it is somewhat raunchy, she draws the line at nudity. She takes the hits when people call her a porn star, but that is farthest from her values. I know, for many the line is black and white on the topic. But Jenna is resolute that her show is a means to an end, and she will not compromise in full-scale pornography.

Her stance, “you can only lose your dignity once.” And for Jenna, pornography would be just that.

It is not our place to judge the intent of others. And after spending time chatting with Jenna, I am positive her point-of-view is of good rapport. And you will absolutely see why in a moment.

She comfortably states, “happiness is not about money or status, it’s about self-worth.” A theme that is becoming strong through line in 365. So how does a statement like this balance with smiling off the accusations of being a porn star.

Now I ask you to take off your first impression glasses and read on.

What really peaks my interest in Jenna is her dedication to the future of our youth. Specifically those with special needs. The catalyst for all of her efforts, and compromises, she has made in making income through her acting talents. And I’m sure you realize just how hard it is to survive in the entertainment jungle. Especially for the single folk.

For 18 years Jenna has dedicated her life to teaching special need children, specializing working with kid roughly eleven-years old. An age that somehow seems to fall through the cracks with many taking no interest. A point of view that most would not entertain from a person hanging out at a grungy sports bar. I take careful notes, noticing things like the healthy Peach Yogurt she is carrying, planning on eating it while her comrade’s down other more intoxication beverages.

We are interrupted mid interview, when politely she redirects an aggressive fellow, seemingly not wanting to have the topic at hand polluted by loud distractions.

She goes on to expand that what is important to her is being able to separate her acting decisions from her pursuits in helping special children to build healthy self-esteem. Encouraging them to work hard and not be lazy. When we talk of this aspect of her life, I see great pride and compassion in her continence as she states, “I want them to succeed.”

I can tell by the look on her face that her life has not been easy, and that she is a fighter. We speak of many more things. Too many to write in my allotted word count commitment. Even now I am close to 400 words over my targeted 1000 or less writing rule.

I do so with purpose.

Many of my entries have touched on the topic: “We cannot judge a book by its cover.”

This afternoon as I approached, even interrupted, a group of friends enjoying their weekend leisure, perhaps I am the one to be judged.

To again quote Jenna, “Life is tough for everybody, but some make it a bigger deal than it has to be. They forget about each other, overreact and disregard the fact that we are all in this life together.”

Words to ponder?!

SideWalk Ghosts / Interview 37: “Please Salute Our At Home Heroes”

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For those of you who don’t know what spinning is. Put this in your mind: One hour of high intensity peddling, ever-changing grades of resistance, high tempo music and a room full of riders pushing to burn calories. 500 to 800 calories to be exact. Add to that a drill sergeant barking motivation to you, and you have 50% of the picture.

The other 50% you can only get by attending a spinning class. No lie, it’s an extreme workout. I know, I teach it six times a week.

I end my class today, and as I prepare to leave, one of the clubs new instructors asks me for some advise on setting up the audio system. Takes us about fifteen minutes. I find out that not only is she a spinning instructor, but also a yoga power woman. Her smile is radiant and there is a something about her that beckons me to invite her to 365.

I show her the project and she tells me that she is not that interesting. I ensure her that she most likely has a personal story or wisdom to share. “I have seen it time after time in many of my past interviews.” Plus, there is something about her that tells me she has a very special message. So I leave the offer hanging in the air.

We focus back on setting the stereo, somewhere in the middle of audio check, the 365 mission becomes mutual.

Meet Anne, a remarkable woman… soon you will know just how remarkable.

Not wanting to distract her from her pre-class warm-up, I grab a few fun shot of her checking the bike. I’m telling you this girl is in amazing condition. I take first actions in photographing her before drill sergeant mode kicks in. She counters with a full-out standing sprint, smile on face… NO LIE, SMILE ON FACE! She’s not human, most mortals in the same situation would be grimacing as if being chased by a rabid badger.

Sprint over, it’s time for a grinding climb. With heavy resistance pressing back against her pedals, she comfortably relaxes her torso, and here we go, that motivating smile again. Oh the pain of it all! I think? Her class better watch out, they’ll be putty in her hands before they know it. And by the pace of her effort, will be putty on the floor by the end of class. What a way to burn calories, being smiled into submission. Even though I teach, I’ve got to take one of Anne’s classes. I need to be humbled.

Don’t get me wrong, it’s not all smiles in Anne’s class, that’s just her hook, once she has you, the real drill begins. Her comforting expressing magically changes as the class gains intensity, and at that point, you are totally in, nowhere to go except to complete your one hour of pain and exhilaration. And the best part, you want to!

But this is only the wrapping to Anne’s story. True, she is a poster child for fitness. But what is deeper than her physical ability is her devotion to country and husband.

You see, Anne is a military wife. One in thousands of unsung heroes.

It’s easy for us civilian folk to recognize the men and women in uniform. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve shook the hands of those who sacrifice so much to preserve our freedoms, and I ask you to please take moment of pause to thank them for their efforts.

Yet, in seeing our uniformed protectors, we are only seeing half the picture. For many of them the sacrifice is more than risking personal life and limb, they leave loving families behind as they serve. These unsung heroes are not always easily spotted and deserve as much praise as their far away spouses. They are not martyrs for loneliness, but promoters of freedom, joining their spouses with great courage and willingness to sacrifice all.

Unless you have served or have had a family member serve, there is no way you can completely understand this sacrifice. I thought I did, until today.

As Anne and I begin our interview, the phone rings, it’s her husband with news regarding his recent deployment. There is a dream on the horizon, a possible mission that would place him permanently in San Diego, giving them the chance to finally start a life under one roof. Bad news, the San Diego deployment may not happen.

The military life is one that changes in a moments notice. Although saddened, the spirit of Anne’s disappointment is content. I can hear the love and pride of husband in every word she shares.

My eyes tear ups as Anne talks, “I am so proud of my husband, he is always smiling and thinking of others. The most positive man I know. And when things are down, he is there to pick me up. I married a good man. I am blessed and honored to be with him.”

After hearing this, I will never view a military man or woman the same. Yes, they will still get my families applaud. But one thing is for certain, if they are wearing a wedding ring, I will not forget to say, “my prayers are with you and your family.“

God Bless, those who protect our freedoms, and their families who so selflessly support them.

I welcome your feedback on this post.

SideWalk Ghosts / Interview 36: It’s Like Sitting With Neighbors On A Summer Night.

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I drive to Bob’s Big Boy, home of more than great hamburgers. Seems that every Friday night it becomes the center of cool car nirvana.

I arrive 6sh, sun setting in the background. The scene is building; with cars, motorcycles, classic to muscle, arriving for the evenings festivities. Cliques of every kind are forming, as the pavement is slowly morphing from parking lot to showroom. Everywhere I look is chrome, perfect paint and automotive brawn. I’m loving this place.

I approach several people, engage in conversation with little success at first. A routine that I am becoming wholly familiar with. I take my hits with a stiff upper lip. Denial one, rejection two, lack of interest three, all words that I am growing accustomed to in my 365 day outreach. I now know that patience is key and I can twist no arms in finding my daily friends.

Thirty minutes into my car browsing and I meet husband and wife team, Tom and Judith. They are warm and welcoming, even offering me dinner when the Bob’s waitress arrives to take parking lot orders. I have to pass, knowing that Friday night dinner waits for me at home.

They grab me a chair and instantly we are in a neighborly conversation. It feels like I am sitting with long time friends. Both being self-employed for the majorities of our careers, we exchange business stories. But there is much more to our conversation than business commonalities.

We discuss the art of understanding and what it takes to be successfully married. As we chat, I can see the love and unity between them. Little unspoken things like Tom affectionately placing a fork in Judith’s salad, concerned that she enjoys her meal while it is fresh; their unified smiles in response to my questions, letting us all know that Judith is the spokesperson for the interview. In my eyes, incredibly considerate gestures, evidence of a happy and trusting relationship.

Per their truck, it is a one of a kind. Tom shows me a scrapbook documenting the history of its restoration. Photos showing its original heavily rusted state… a $300 dollar purchase he found corroding in a barn. Three years and $130,000 later, what Tom proudly shows is 455 cubic inches of powered eye candy. From bumper to bumper, the truck is perfect.

I’ve always wanted to restore a car of my own. And after chatting with Tom and Judith, I’m ready to start saving. Don’t think I can swing the $130K at the moment. But a man’s got to dream… doesn’t he?

“Friendships are important”
“Life is not about money or status”
“Exercise gratitude and patience”
“Appreciate your health”
“Be glad for every day”
“We all put our pants on one leg at a time”

All philosophies bestowed upon me by Tom and Judith this evening.

The sun has set. It’s time for me to return home to family. We wrap our conversation and as I depart Tom wishes me this:

“Be Good!”

Thanks Tom, pleasure meeting you and your gal. The truck is pretty cool too.

SideWalk Ghosts / Interview 34: Live, Life, Laughter

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Tonight I spend the evening with my daughter. We decide to take a 365 drive, not thinking of any route, just seeing who we run into.

We stop here and there to chat with a few people. Great conversations of community and purpose, but none are willing to step in front of the camera. Still, they express their interest in the project and give my the high-five to keep going. Encouragement is always welcome, so readers, please comment.

With over a month of 365 behind me, I’ve met some very interesting people. Yet, with eleven months to go, I’m not even close to completion.

You need to know that your feedback and referrals are so important to not only the 365 mission, but literally to my moral. Please don’t be shy, subscribe and give feedback.

Tonight we have been driving endlessly, looping through the Valley. Feeling a little road weary, we settle to rest at Woodland Hills Park.

As my daughter and I stroll through the park, I notice she is starting to buy into the spirit of 365. It’s really sweet being by her side, and her influence is guiding me at this point of the day.

She contributes with comments like, “Daddy, I’m not feeling that we should shoot the soccer players, how about trying to meet the people in the office?” Very in-tune and observant ideas for an 8-year old. I really love this kid. She is my hero.

I’m not going to lie to you. Even with the passion I have for 365, at times I do get stressed with it, and I’m feeling it this night. We’ve been roaming for over two hours, searching for approachable friends.

I can’t help but to think to myself, “what damage am I putting on my family, spending so much of our personal time with this project?”

Luckily, I have their blessing. Plus, I have to say, this project truly is maturing my family. I’m sure we’ll touch more on that topic as the year progresses.

So here I am, daughter in hand, wandering through Woodland Hills Park. I’m tired and getting a bit blurry eyed, when she sights a family sitting at a barely lit table, dimmed by lights blocked by surrounding trees.

Remember, her first words this evening as we entered the park are primarily a do not list. So when she turns to me and says, “I’ve got a good feeling, how about taking pictures of them?” I have to listen.

I confess, my first instinct is to not bother them. Something creepy about walking up out of the darkness of the trees, asking, “can I take your photo?” But there is no way I’m going to burst my daughters bubble. She is really wanting to contribute.

Respectfully I approach them, daughter by my side, hoping my first impression will be appreciated as the non-confrontational family man that I am. We begin a light conversation, and it’s then that I discover just how stressed I am from 33 days of 365 pressure, and just how in tune my lovely daughter is.

The second I extend the 365 invite to our new friends; Hope, June and their children, all eyes light up with enthusiasm… mixed with a touch of embarrassment. I assure them of my intent, give them an iPad tour of past blog entries and we are on the same page.

What we encounter is a most pleasant neighborly visit with two of the most down to earth people. It’s like family time at the park with new friends. My daughter is happily playing with their four children; Hope’s daughter (age 7) and son (age 9) and June’s daughter (age 7) and son (age 9). My kid fits right in at age 8.

I am overwhelmed by their grace and hospitality, even to the point of June buying me a bottle of water. Not something many of us would consider doing for an absolute stranger. It is at that moment I realize the reason I’m supposed to be here. I’m needing to give myself permission to back of a touch and smell the roses. Not only in relaxing my 365 intensity, but in life.

They speak with an appreciate the simple things of life perspective. Hearing it prompts me to consider my attitude in all that I do.

It is so easy to get so caught up in our successes, and even our failures, that we stop considering the most basic priorities. June and Hope radiate a quality of peaceful optimism. And the simple gesture of cold water to my daughter and I solidify our respect for their example.

We discuss work histories, stresses to successes, concluding that the glass is always at least half full. Looking at the smiles on their faces as we talk. I’m sure both of these special ladies hold this point-of-view close in their hearts.

Family first and friendship is the undertone I pick up as Hope tells me of her family dreams and support of June’s talents.

I’m told that June is a high honors college graduate with incredible artistic talent. June blushes as we go on to talk about her specialty, ceramics. I extend the offer to publish her artwork on this blog and look forward to her taking me up on the offer. Her dream being to one day have a gallery exhibition. If any of you out there are interested in seeing her ceramics, let me know?  I’m sure would love the affirmation.

They leave us with this advice.

“Don’t stress on wanting too much. Life is not about accumulating material possessions. It’s more about being grateful for what you have”

It’s almost midnight, time to stop writing and decompress.

Until Tomorrow.

SideWalk Ghosts / Interview 33: “Get Off Your Butt and Exercise!”

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It’s been an incredibly long day. Rise early, shoot SCE campaign, wrap day and the return last of unused supplies.

This evening I’m traveling with my friend, and crew member, Danny. Having finalized the unpacking of a rented van, we set path for home.

As we drive, Danny, knowing of my 365 projects, says! “Look there is someone riding a bike.”

My first reaction is to decline the sighting, leaning on my third commandment of 365, “Thou shalt not chase someone down!” I’ll tell you some other time of commandment one and two.

Ah! what the heck here they are now. Commandment one, “never bother a person while they are eating!” Commandment two, “do not approach someone at work if it looks like they will lose their job!”

Back to the story. A beat passes; seeing no other photo option on the horizons, the hour getting very late and with empty streets all around, I relent to my first instinct and loop around the block to investigate.

Picture us, two tired looking guys, in a cargo van, traveling a conservative middle class suburban neighborhood late in the evening. Somewhat suspect, isn’t it?

Of course it is. We look just like an abduction team. I’m preparing for a night of utter rejection, at least as long as we are in this ride.

On the horizon we spot our target. One man, one bike, two dogs and one very dark street. I slow the van to a mere roll and match his pace. The window down, I call out, “excuse me” expecting a strong, get lost!

I introduce myself, Danny and 365. As expected, he questions my intent and requests to see the blog. Thank you technology, I can answer right on the spot.

iPad in tow, I accommodate his request. Five minute later we are deep in conversation and again I find myself in the right place at the right time.

Please say hello to Mario and his two walking buddies, dogs Trojan (named after the horse, not the condoms) and Punky.

The street is extremely dark and we chat by light provided by Chevy. Mario has a rich history of overcoming life’s obstacles and proves to be yet another testament to life rebuilt.

A changed man, Mario holds no shame in sharing with us the fact that he is a past criminal, completing his parole in 2006. He states, “I’m keeping my head straight and never want to lose my freedom again.”

We find this out when Danny asks him, “what was your first thought when we drove up?” He answers, “I did not know if you were law enforcement. I have a criminal record.” What impresses me is the respect in his tone regarding the law. Very humble, accepting and peacefully confident. I see a man of experience, with no chip on his shoulder at all. Better than many I know with the cleanest of history.

He speaks with a profound and open countenance and we find out that his life is completely committed to helping others. Be it through his growing physical training business, Corona Workouts, (after all, a man has to make a living) or through the volunteer service he provides in sharing his story with local organizations and schools. He talks as a banner citizen, with enthusiasm for his future.

Both Danny and I are struck by the physical fitness of Mario as he reflects on his outlook regarding health.

“Physical exercise is the key to happiness, and those missing out on it are setting themselves up for problems.”

He goes on, “Too many people rely on drugs and fad diets, rather than just practicing good nutrition and physical activity,”

“Did you know, 2/3’s of all Americans are overweight,” a frightening fact, and one that motivates Mario to build his business.

He shares the importance of good food and balanced activity, and follows a one with nature point of view. So much so, that his life dream is to own an organic farm, where he can not only produce the finest of product, but educate the public in healthy living practices.

I am impressed with his perspective and example of a life turned. Mario is proof of the power of physical training and positive mind-set.

He leaves us with a few challenges and promises:

One (simple and to the point)
“Get off your butt and exercise!”

Two
“If you stay in shape, I promise good things will happen!” And he can back it up with his story.

Three:
“Keep your mind open!”

and Four (my favorite)
“Talk to your neighbors!”

Mario, Thanks for talking to us tonight!

Now I’m off to do my sit-ups!

Readers, get down and give me ten!

Talk tomorrow!

SideWalk Ghosts / Interview 32: “Every Person Is A Reflection”

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They say it take twenty-one days for something to become a habit. I propose it takes thirty-two days for something to become a magnet.

Tomorrow I shoot an SCE campaign. After one week away I had a lot of catch-up to do. My producer was out with a killer migraine, leaving a bunch of pre-shoot details in my hands. No worries, I’m more concerned about him than my day’s list of objectives. And knowing that things always work out, I roll-up my sleeves, readjust my schedule of priorities and hit the road.

First stop, Enterprise Rent a Car for a cargo van; it’s not ready – one hour behind. Second destination, tech check; traffic delays on way to location – one and a half hours behind. Third task, off to pick-up expendables – two hours down and not even to my list yet.

Here is the blessing. I walk into Out-of-Frame, a great little resource shop and the only place I can find the gatorboard we need for tomorrow’s shoot.

I’m greeted by Marie, one of the business owners. You guessed it… my intuition asks me to invite her to 365.

There is an instant connection, and not to be unkind to my producer (at home with a terrible headache), I am thankful to be picking-up the slack of his absence. He was meant to have the day off and I am certain I am in the right place at the right time.

Marie is a vibrant, intelligent businesswoman, with a past of building successful businesses. Well traveled and cultured, she is a breath of fresh air in an industry that can be hurried and impersonal.

The photo we take is a true reflection of her presence. It is not forced, rather, a picture of her as she is during our conversation.

We talk of human nature, yoga and share our thoughts of the world around us. I know, sounds metaphysical. I promise we are not “out there.” But on that note, Marie made an incredibly profound statement, “Every person is a reflection of who you are. We are all mirrors, and those you see are reflections of yourself.”

I know, a very heavy statement. My interpretation… We put ourselves in situations to be of influence to others (whether we choose to or not), and at many time are attracted to people, places, things and experiences that are reflective of our mental and spiritual self. Sort of a “what you see is what you get” theory. Adjusted the statement to, “what you do is who you are,” leads to, “who you are is who you’re with,” back to, “who you’re with is what you do.” Kind of deep… isn’t it!?

Take it our leave it, that’s how my mind works… and if you want to roll with my blog, you might just have to patronize me a little as you come on board.

An easier way to look at the above statements is this common phrase, “water somehow seems to seek its own level.” Kind of sums it up.

We have a great discussion. One that I know was supposed to happen and a testimony builder of the power of the 365 mission.

I’m certain I was directed to meet Marie.

There are so many wonderful people around us. I’m learning to not take anyone at face value. To literally step out of my comfort zone and be open in reaching out. It gets dicey at times, and more doors are slammed in my face than opened. Countless rejections followed by amazing 365 acceptances.

And all those who have stepped on board have made me a better person. I hope you as well.

My encounter with Marie was not by chance, I am sure of that. Michaelbrent (my producer), feel better my good friend, and thank you for giving me this day. Your absence has allowed me the opportunity to meet Marie, and I’m positive the encounter was meant to be in this blog.

A magnet philosophy is developing in my life. Good attracts good, and we must do all the good we can.

All I know is I can’t stop the momentum of 365. It’s part of me now, a moving train that I cannot stop and I’m just holing on for the ride.

The fact is, I am absolutely clueless as to where the journey is taking us. Yet there is a peace inside of me that tells me, it will be to a good place.

Hey! Did I say, Marie is a really smart business person and world traveler? Well, she is! And she has truthfully earned her badges through her faith, courage and one of the most optimistic perspectives I’ve found.

Marie, Thanks for coming on board. I wish you every success in the businesses you are building and sincerely give you a thumbs-up for your travel dreams. Mahalo Nui Loa (bear with me, I’m still coming down off my Hawaii high).

SideWalk Ghosts / Interview 31: Introducing Dr. D

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Hawaii flight on ground and legs back on Los Angeles soil, I take the Flyaway bus to Van Nuys. My usual airport strategy for getting home quickly… or so it usually goes.

As tonight has it, I wait 1 1/2 hours at the airport (suck), am rejected by all the people I approach, and share a 30 minutes bus excursion with equally interested people. “No worries, go with the flow,” I tell myself. “The right person will emerge at the right time.”

They say timing is everything and tonight proves the theory true. I’ve arrived at the bus terminal, a little late, but finally home. My wife and daughter pull up to grab me. I tell them I have not yet photographed my 365 friend. Off goes the car, and I’m firmly instructed to do something about it. Got to love a supportive family. We’ll see how they feel at 60 days, but I’ll count my blessings while I have them.

Here I am, Ucayali bearing dad (the gift I bought for my daughter) under arm, toting more equipment cases than a touring rock star. There is no way for me to get my gear to the car on my own. And now on my own (thank to the smiling harassment of my (now driving around the pick up zone) family, I enlist the aid of skycap Dartanian.

As I strike a conversation with him, I do notice his polite attitude and work ethic, but think not of approaching him. One of my rules is to not bother people at work, and it’s seems he is on shift.

I thank him for his service, tip the usual tip, $10 (2.50 per bag), hope you use the same math, and as he turns to walk away, off goes the 365 voice saying, “photograph him!” I self argue it, “he’s working, buses are still coming in, let him do his job.” But as the voice get louder, I submit to its influence.

I lay out the project, without hesitation he is in, his shift just ending. No joke, I did not question his schedule. It’s weird, after unsuccessfully approaching people all through this evening, in the blink of a second I’m in the right place with the right person. Somehow the voice knew he was ending his work day.

Looking back on all my 365 rejections today, even a harsh out of my face, straight forward “NO!” on the bus, I can identify with the feeling of those moments. All were lacking the 365 voice that I am experiencing now. It’ a super subtle prompting, and one that I am still working to understand.

Dartanian is very comfortable in front of the camera and we quickly get a few great portraits. My family is now settled in the car, and although completely behind the project, they are fading fast. Both Dartainal and I realize we are loosing them, as my wife’s heavy eyes begin to drop as she and my daughter wait patiently in the car.

I am impressed with his concern and ask what is he studying. He tells me, “I’m in my senior year, studying psychology at Cal State Northridge;” and that he plans to go into family counseling.” Perhaps we are a case study for him. He also tells me, “he is minoring in women’s anatomy.” Hey, give him a break, he’s a senior in college after all.

At 12pm, we sit for a few final questions. His message:

Life is good! Man! we keep hearing this, don’t we?

Tomorrow, I’m back at home. We’ll see who we meet.

Later Gators!

SideWalk Ghosts / Interview 29: Irina, “You Saved Me From Failure.”

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If you’ve been reading my blog, you know I’m in Hawaii on business this week. Last night, I ranted a little about being trapped in Hilton resort solitary confinement.

One would think that the smart side of me would have taken another journey away from Hawaiian Village. But leaning on the not so intelligent side of my brain, I decide to cruise the hotel grounds for a second time. A mostly terrible idea. Man! I’m self abusive.

3 hours down and I’ve not met a soul. Vacation culture is very interesting to study. So many people around, all of whom are either not wanting to be approached or obviously hiding behind a facade character, playing an away from home fantasy.

It’s late in the evening and thus far, not a hope in sight of anyone to photograph. I’ve circled the resort so many times that I’m feeling management will soon post signs saying, “Radstone path, this way.”

Feet are barking! I’m starting to get discouraged! Is this the night that I fail in my mission to meet a new friend?

With feelings of defeat brewing in my heart, I reluctantly set a final path towards my room, already mentally working out an apologetic entry for day 29 blog entry. I’ve almost composed my tribute to failure in my mind, when absolute sunshine appears before me.

Closing a clothing stand, I see Irina. There is something about her that draws my attention. A special glow that I am starting to recognize as Aloha. The still small voice engages, “Introduce yourself to her, she is special.” When it speaks, I listen.

I walk up, bleed my heart regarding the frustration of the last 3 hours wandering and invite her to be tonight’s 365 friend. She smiles with a touch of embarrassment and delicately volunteers to be part of the project.

She locks up her kiosk and we sit for a most pleasant conversation.

Born in Russia, Irina speaks with a clear and passionate dialect. There is a certain comfort that comes from speaking with her. A feeling that I am starting to recognize emanating from all those living on the island.

The only way to define it is, “love of life, nature and fellow-man.” It’s infectious and I am growing to love it.

As we chat, my regret for staying at the hotel grounds quickly turns to gratitude in meeting Irina. Her peaceful spirit is captivating.

It’s been a long day and I can tell we are both fighting to keep focus. With the evening nearly over, both of us admittedly tiered, I ask my final questions.

Accompanied by warmth, laughter and youthful wisdom, Irina shares these closing statements as we call it a night.

“Don’t look back, always look forward.” Great council from a young soul.

“Enjoy the process, not the result.” One more gem of philosophy.

In parting, I double-check to see if there is anything else she wants to leave for you, my readers.

In the spirit that has so smitten me for 20 minutes of chatting Irina says one last note:

“Dreams do come true in Hawaii!”

Irina,

Mahalo Nui Loa