#sidewalkghosts

Everywhere I look Saint Patrick’s Day green is in my eye-line. The auditorium is full of color and action. The diversity is vast and everyone from kids to grandparents participate in the merriment. Even my wife takes a run at the Velcro wall, and to credit her athletic skills, manages to stick strong to its balloon walled surface.

There must be hundreds of people in attendance, and one observation I can note with the greatest of conviction: all are united this day in enjoying a community celebration of bounce, run and play.

After the climbing wall I settle a bench with corned beef sandwich in hand (I mean mouth), my wife and daughter leaving me to embark on my friend finding mission by myself. After all, as social as they can be, they need to finish their gladiator grudge match on the balloon pedestals.

Here I remain, perched on the top level of the gymnasium bleachers, appreciating the last bites of my Irish fare. It’s like sitting at the top of a platform that has been consecrated for the purpose of people watching.

And from this high up perch I begin my rationalization: “The stilted guy looks pretty cool! What about the not-so-dressed-in-green (Irish?) belly dancers? No, better yet, the Dick Van Dyke look-alike?!”

I wipe the last of the rye crumbs from my chin and ready myself for a stroll. Yet my path is unexpectedly halted when a gentleman grabs a seat near where I am stationed.

“How are you,” I reach out and as I do, a reflection occurs to me; words that were given to me by one of you, my 365 readers. That comment went something like this: “I love the stories of the real people you find. And that so many are everyday people who have very interesting things to say.”

All of a sudden the dancer, stilts and faux-celebrities are not that interesting to me anymore, and the desire to approach them has been replaced with a need to chat with the stranger sitting to my right.

“How would you like to be part of a humanistic outreach project?” I invite in explaining 365.

Over conversation of family and events my now not-stranger has become my friend of the moment, and with the comfort of knowing our families are enjoying activities as we rest on the bleachers, my new buddy, Leo, talks of his wishes for the world.

“Don’t waste resources, save everything, natural resources, conserve energy, and don’t waste time on things you don’t need to do. Too many people even waste too much food.”

I think of my refrigerator at home and check myself to positively eat all the leftovers from this week’s meals.

On December 17 our environmentalist friend Bronwyn, “Treat the planet right,” put us on the WordPress map with her words of council, “We need to push a little harder in doing our part.”

Leo exemplifies her caution, “I’d like to see a day when every family becomes a producer of what they can use. Things like planting gardens and cultivating fruits and vegetables.”

We talk of not only the obvious positive agricultural contribution, but also of the health benefits of freshly and organically grown produce.

This whole garden concept is one that my family and I have embarked on from time to time. And I tell you; the benefits are beyond the expected. I can own with full integrity that in growing our own food we not only ate healthier, but the money savings as well as the unity and shared work ethic grew my family closer in ways that are beyond dollars and time.

Our planet in finite, and as Bronwyn and Leo are gesturing, we can all make a powerfully positive footprint for the safety of our planet. It’s in the little gestures, that we, if combined in numbers, can bring to pass a measurable impact en route to the healing of planet Earth.

How many of us choose to feel overwhelmed by the sheer magnitude of the deterioration of our limited resources?

Leo provides us a task. A task that is absolutely possible on a macro level. One that is even socially edifying and good for the mind, body and spirit. Simply… “Plant what you can eat.”

“Don’t waste resources, save everything,” Leo lives what he preaches; it is in his eyes, his words and by the looks of his healthy physique, it is in his lifestyle.

Guess it’s time for me to find the rototiller, I’ve got Zucchini to plant.

“What are you words of wisdom?” I ask Anna, my friend… no, may I say my savior this evening. Why savior? That is a grand title.

Briefly, it is a rainy night; everyone is scurrying or beginning their end of week check out, and even with my dashing charm, J! I am rejected ten times as I zigzag a twenty-mile area of wet and vaguely populated streets.

I sure that tonight the fuel companies love me, and my environmentalist self is beating on my sense of responsibility for my negative contributions to emission control and conservation.

Yet another two-hour excursion is upon me. I’m not griping, just setting the stage to a lesson of which I still have not mastered. That lesson is simply, “Richard (and all of us), we need to let go of pre-consideration in where, how and with whom we interact with in our daily lives.”

I drove for hours with a set of positive excuses. “Positive excuses?” What are those? I thought excuses were negatives?” the third debates as I write.

“Oh no! Richard your loosing it, third voices, are you talking to invisible friends now?”

It’s 5:30am, my habitual writing time, my eyes are droopy and the day is already rushing at me. Got to give a guy a little slack… don’t we?

Plus we’re closing in on 200 thousand words, and in the script of my Sci-Fi author friend and writing coach, Michaelbrent Collings, “Your style is getting more organic.”

Opps, distracted by the rising sun, seems I have wandered… “Positive Excuses? What in Sam’s heck are they?”

pos•i•tive ex•cuse  (noun) 1 a reason or explanation put forward to bolster confidence away from making an inspired decision or to self justify leaning wholly on the intellectual self: there is no way I will go to a place that I have been to before, no matter how much my core self directs me to do so. If I do people will think I am being lazy in my project. • a reason put forward to conceal the real fear for an action; a pretext: It’s ok if I wander aimlessly for whatever time it takes until I find the perfect person for todays interview, as a cover up for not allowing my fatigue of the week to slow me down into acceptance of where I am and in appreciating those around me.
2 (an excuse for) my actions in isolating myself in my vehicle, even after a proven track record of endless wanderings: I find the right person at the right time!

Bottom line, an excuse is an excuse, no matter how we spin it.

Two hours of driving, all the while crossing a center point where lies a Starbuck’s coffee house. A local that has pulled me in several time before. And choosing to ignore the fact that on this very rainy night it is the gather spot in the area, I tell myself, “I can’t go there, that’s the easy way out!”

“Your back, good to hear you talking to yourself, the third voice stuff was a little creepy.”

Yet on pass four of the corner of Ventura and Topanga Canyon, fatigue and a quickly dipping fuel gauge, finally reigns in my poorly defined friending route. “All right head, I’ll grab a hot drink and a snack and just see what happens!”

The place is buzzing with people, all in their own sphere of conscious, and all engaged in their own life moments. At first, I let my brain direct me with another set of positive excuses, “Good thing you stopped, and now that you have a hot belly and a sugar rush, we’ll hit the trails again.”

“What…!! Mind, are you nuts…! More aimless driving!?!

I fight back and in taking a deep breath, I decide to overcome the logical self in pushing myself to raise my chin to look, listen and feel.

The room slows, and in the midst of shoulder-to-shoulder movement, one soul stands still, Anna.

I observe her interactions, and in an instant I find myself on the opposite side of my yesterday’s experiment, that of smiling at the world around me, and waiting to see what happens. Seems that tonight, Anna has stolen my idea… Or has she?

There is something about her that is comforting and self-aware, I am drawn to introduce myself. So what if I am at the same Starbuck’s I have often frequented?

In one last futile effort my brain bounces back to my logical lobe, “No she is going to think you are a creep!”

The other lobe fires, “It’s a different night with a different culture, and glowingly, Anna is quietly at the center of this never again to be duplicated time frame, step up Richard, Respond to her energy.”

I listen; the logical lobe can be so pessimistic sometimes.

Now that the good cop, bad cop brain stuff is over and my hot drink called, I muster the courage to say hello. Anna explodes with acceptance of 365, and yet again, the inspired self win the battle over the thinking mind. Therein lies the lesson.

“I don’t know what to say,” Anna launches, “To give advise to the world…that is a huge thought…”

To veer away from the daunting question we decide to small talk for just a second, when suddenly her eyes light up.

“People need to smile more and for no reason. I don’t mean to just your friends and family, but when they are not people that you know. It is more important when it is random.”

Anna has a face that could grace to pages of beauty magazines, yet she is not about herself. A fact that is evident in the career path that both she and her husband have chosen, she an IFT and he a paramedic. Helping others is the silent message I read loud and clear in speaking with Anna.

We talk of our interactions with the world; in life, in family and in career, and in doing so, exchange a united view of the importance human interaction plays in the evolvement of a healthy society.

“I see it all the time at work,” Anna reveals, “I’m a IFT (Interfacility Transportation) and every day I transport many lonely people who only need one person to give them a smile or a little time for conversation. I try to be that person.”

Anna touches on another topic that all of us have discussed over and over again… Technology.

“I don’t like what technology is doing to human relationships. I’m not talking about the good uses of it, or even things like your blog, it is getting a good message out. I’m talking about how people do not live in the moment because of it. It’s like what happens at work. I’ll be driving with my partner who does not even know I am in the vehicle because he is so deep into his texting. We need to interact face-to-face.”

I won’t harp on this topic any further in this entry, and I’m sure it will come up again, but Anna does give us a cause of reflection, “I think many people are on the same page, but don’t know what to do about it,” she observes.

And with perfect Anna vibrance and twist of sweet humor, she leaves us this social note, “People should picnic more!”

For me, I’m off to the pantry, got to pack for tomorrow’s outing.

Talk tomorrow, my friends.

I promised myself that today I’d interview the first person who verbally responds to me. I’ll call it the reverse magnet theory.

Off to find myself a busy corridor I go, once again the Third Street Promenade, Santa Monica, where I put on my smile face and hit the trails.

Chin up and eyes open to the people I walk and it’s a completely different experience than that of the past 365 outings, where I opened my words as well as my eyesight.

The promenade is busy with activity, and it’s quite interesting to take note of the body language responses I receive from a simple smile and head nod.

It is quite remarkable what you can read in the eyes of a person, and for those who engage with me, the range of reactions is full. “Good to know you,” one person nods; “I’m in a hurry… can’t stop to chat,” another shrugs with a grin; “Pervert… go away,” a mother grimaces off as she check her child.

In a way… I am remorsefully surprised that most people do not reach back verbally. Makes me question when we lost our faith in the world around us. It’s not as if I have cornered someone in an alley… or threatened them… or have an apparent objective (i.e., the guy holding the sign that reads, “Jokes $1.00”).

There are countless people as well as police presence all around and I am doing all that I can to keep my posture non-threatening and receptive. Who know maybe I look pathetically out-of-place or like a stalker, but in clean jeans, and a conservative shirt, I think I blend in pretty well.

I’m not trying to make any grand point of discussion with the above observation, just a feeling in my gut has asked me to write of this finding for whatever it will become.

Really I’m quite blown away, forty-five minutes and no hello’s, how are you’s or good day’s at all. When as I ready to begin to speak, “Hello, how are you!” comes at me from the right.

Laughing, I reply, “I’m tired.”

I never say why I’m tired, that being of the energy expense of receiving now countless non-verbal rejections. I’m just happy to finally be engaging with another human, even though I know she is just doing her job of bringing attention to the café that has hired her to draw customers in.

As we talk two young ladies settle on the street side menu next to us. My still stranger engages with them. “Where are you from?” she asks. There is an honesty to this girl and I am wondering what gives her this special radiance.

“I’m from Boston” one replies, “I’m from Minneapolis” the other smiles. All of a sudden I find myself vicariously center to a conversation of weather, city comparisons and other simple safe talk.

“Here is my opportunity,” I think. And grabbing my 365 business cards, I find a moment to introduce my project. “Perhaps, my tourist strangers will step up and tell me of their cities in joining 365,” I convince myself.

They nod their head with a smile, and intently listen to my description of the project, “We’ll check it out,” they engage as they depart leaving my café promoting friend and I alone in continuing the conversation.

“I’d love to be in it,” says my radiant companion of the scene, stranger now turned friend, Irina, who reveals the key to her presence, “Stay in the present, we spend too much time worrying about the future and carrying on in the past.”

More people walk by, and as we talk, Irina manages to keep focus in engaging with all those who pass by. That’s her job… Right?

I just watch and listen. Now there are many who can deliver a line, but Irina is not one of those people. What Irina delivers is sincerity. “Stay in the moment and don’t worry,” she says and it is apparent that is how she manages her life.

And in doing so it is acutely obvious that even though this is her job, Irina has found a balance of compassion and professionalism in truly using her employment to better know the people around her; I am impressed by her balance of work and self.

Have you ever had a friend that no matter how you are feeling, their aura helps you feel better about yourself? I barely know Irina, yet I’m pretty convinced that Irina is one of those people.

“This may sound cliché,” Irina says in forecasting her next statement. “We need to start working at peace, not so much about world peace, but the people on an individual level. There is too much personal fighting and not getting along.”

World peace, maybe a bit cliché, but where Irina directs the basis of her thought is very astute. Month back, we had a friend advice, “I’d rather see a lot of people doing small acts of kindness and good works than to see one great effort of one.”

Irina seconds that charge in suggesting that we work to resolve any part of our life’s or actions that out of accord.

“There is too much personal fighting and not getting along.” Yes… It is a very youthful call out. But as in yesterday’s entry, where we featured the works of Sir Ken Robinson and the, again not so cliché, words of young friend Heather, we must consider the thoughts of youth as powerful motivators.

Sir Robinson talks of the genius that children demonstrate; a genius that is not only academic, but a genius that allows for collaboration and an ability to coexist. Might we consider that as we age, we hold tightly to our youthful perspective of humanity; and for those of us who have lived to see it diminish, may we reignite the flame of optimism?

Those of us who are life weary might argue, “But that is to difficult, I’m too wounded, life is just not that way, grow up, or simply, the world is way to screwed up to matter anymore.”

“We need to start working at peace, not so much about world peace, but the people on an individual level,” Irina inspires.

Peace on an individual level. Whatever we may debate on the issue, Irina counters with a last bit of council, “And we underestimate the power of apology.”

Out of the mouth of babes, my friends.

Shall we all hang closely to our youthful thoughts!

Irina, thank you for the hello, you are making the world a better place!

“Don’t take life too seriously… just freak out… dance… and sing…”
…and, do what you want before you become what you are told.” —Heather

We have to learn to shake off society. There are always going to be battles, the world is just that way. But it will always give some as you loose some. Education is the core to what future we are all left with.

People have a lot of shame for following what they want, and most of our baggage is carried from our childhoods.

I’d like to see a world where people actually learn things rather than be crammed into classrooms and having standards forced on them.”

Sound cliché or radical? Or inspired or forward thinking?

I’ll leave that answer up to you in considering the above words of today’s stranger, young artisan of great wisdom, Heather.

…and to give us more grounds for contemplation, I give you a few links to the works of Sir Ken Robinson, a very contemporary conformer of today’s flawed educational systems. My opinion, Heather and he are on the right path.

You must view this very entertaining and enlightening presentation by Sir Robinson – Changing Education Paradigms (the audio at the end is suppressed, makes me think of conspiracy theories as to why): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zDZFcDGpL4U

Also here is a link to his website: http://sirkenrobinson.com/skr

Heather and I run into each other at a cool little burb in Venice, California.

Excuse me, run into her is an understatement… I am drawn to her.

Here I am on the street of Abbott Kenney. A gathering place for both local and nomadic travelers from around the globe. To the right of me I hear the chatter of German tourists, behind me is a group of resident Rasta bikers; and, ahead are persons of unimaginable diversity. Yet, as I pass by a quaint little corner coffee-house, I spy Heather, paper and supplies in hand, as she approaches its doors.

At first glance, I am captivated by her apparent ease of self. And being further intrigued to meet another artist I introduce myself.

Immediately Heather’s charm and free spirit captures me, and after a short twenty minutes of curbside conversation I am proud to call friend.

Heather is a people magnet, drawing hello’s and brief conversations from many who pass by us as we sit on the sidewalk chatting away.

“You have a lot of friends,” I comment.

With infectious smile she brings me up to speed, “That’s the way it is here, we are a community, and when you live here you get to know a lot of people.”

Even though Heather is infectiously optimistic, she does take a bit of time to express a few of her observations towards the pros and cons of capitalism. Focusing on the problems of flawed healthcare and the quality of our food system. She states, “Even the USDA is not organic, and our healthcare system suppresses things and does not treat illness. It’s the time/money thing. Too much is driven by greed and not concern for the public.”

Heather goes on to brighter topics, things like the importance of personal integrity, education and the need for, in Heather’s words, “More communication, less television screens.”

“I’d like to see a future where education is more accessible and affordable, and a people who have a greater appreciation for each other, art and nostalgia.”

Being an artist, and businessman myself, and with the support of Sir Robinson’s instruct, might I suggest that art is not just the works of imagination, but also the works of intellect.

Sir Robinson likens it to thought processes that can be applied to any discipline, regardless of the trade or position. With the aid of his findings may I propose this, “Whether CEO or street artist, those who are in touch with their imaginative selves are more likely to be receptive to fresh ideas, more likely to collaborate well with others and have the self-esteem to listen to their own inspirations in moving forward.”

Bur sadly, as stated by Heather, “People have a lot of shame for following what they want.”

I call it the opinion filter. Defined, “The laws of humility states that we should acknowledge the thoughts of others, and do all that we can to not harm another, but we need to listen to our own minds in finalizing any objective, and grow the tenacity to constantly practice the skills of dismissing any destructive input. That through applied education (not controlled, like learning for the test scores, see Sir Robinson’s video), trial, error and successes; true and full fulfillment of our inspired self can occur. It’s not an easy thing to do and requires great practice and discipline. And if achieved while supporting others in the same quest, we give ourselves license to own our perspectives to the fullest. In doing so we can inspire ourselves to achieve that which brings balance and happiness to our lives, and hopefully the community. From there we may obtain a greater peace of character in wholly owning that who we are, good and bad.”

And with the aid of Heather and Sir Robinson, we are given advice and studied methods of doing so.

Heather is very hopeful when speaking of what is ahead for us, “There will be an awakening of our higher conscientiousness.”

Sure it’s cliché, but how many times have we heard our 365 friends tell us to follow our dreams.

Cliché or not, what is important is that we allow ourselves to progress as we are inspired to do so.

Sir Robinson speaks of a 98% genius score in a study of 1500 kindergarten students, and of the staggering decrease of that percentage over a ten-year period.

Startling evidence as to the actual manifestation of the dream, and a propelling argument to rethink our perspectives on learning, personal ability, and in managing the bombardment of external influences that strike us all each and every day.

Talk soon my good friends,

Richard

Door to door sales is a tough business, and I’ll be the first to confess that every time the bell sounds an unannounced chime, my heart rate rises a beat or two. Especially when I am deeply engrossed in a task or enjoying hard to find personal time.

So today when at the worst possible moment the doorbell is directed to speak, I pause hastily, “Who can that be!!”

I’m a touch tired, almost done with my day and am hanging on tightly to the glimmer of an hour or so of unadulterated mind zero time. Ah… the beauty of that.

And now my Zen has been broken, my workflow has been compromised and worse yet, I’m in a sleep deprived and overdramatic mood. Basically, I’m not really feeling that sociable.

“What!? Are we hearing that Mr. chin up and eyes open to the world is human…. No way! We thought he was just a hopeless romantic of some sort.”

“Surprise, I’m in a pissy mood and that blended with day two of accelerated day syndrome, and I am less than receptive to any solicitation.”

To the door I go, already thinking, “I don’t need any candy, my truck is not for sale, and my carpet is clean!”

As my inconvenience shifts to utter frustration, I catch myself, “’Richard, how can you stand tall in proclaiming, ‘Everyone is of worth,’ and approach your front door with the attitude you are sporting.’”

I check myself, calm my pre-conceptions as to who is outside and prepare myself for civility, “There is a fellow human out there. Probably just as concerned for his livelihood as I.”

I swing the door open, and with a smiling “Hello, can I help you?” I open my ears to receive whatever this stranger has to say, and before I know it, I find myself connected in welcome conversation with the Greener California dude, my new friend Brion.

We talk of the environment and the need for smarter conservation of our resources. “Really Richard, you have been suckered.”

I will admit, by the looks of the trim of my house, I most likely have been profiled, but that is OK. We are in the middle of a repaint of our exterior and re-insulation of our attic, and have begun the laborious process of cost estimating improvements. So to have someone at my door with painting and insulation services is really not that tiresome.

Brion is very brief and professional, we set an appointment for an estimator to stop by, and talk casually, I tell him of 365 and invite him to participate. Funny, just ten minutes prior to his ring, and in the weary frame of mind I have been carrying, the idea of a long search for a friend was wavering my 365 motivation.

Sure, Brion is selling product and service, but in another way he has saved me from my own negativity.

Brion unprompted, and I’m telling you, without any coaching from me, gives this council. “Think before you act. A lot of people don’t do that these days. Even for good opportunity.”

No way, is he some kind of psychic that tapped into my very pre-judgmental and reactive self of only a few minutes past.

I’m sure he is not, and that our meeting is coincidental, but the experience does cause me to reflect. “What is more important? To control my timeline, or to control my per-conceptions of those around me?”

I won’t answer that, I’ll just leave it hanging for all of our contemplation.

Brion is working, so I cut to the chase in throwing the bombshell question regarding what’s to come.

“Wow!” Brion reacts, “Who knows? That is a huge question and very difficult to answer on the spot.”

He thinks for a moment, “I like the idea of electric vehicles and smarter use of our natural resources. I’m for anything that will create healthier ways to conserve energy and keeps the planet healthy. If we can just find smarter ways to get around, that alone would help the planet.”

Brion, we appreciate your advocacy. Saturday we’ll talk of tax credits and rebates (yep, I scheduled an estimate).

Monday’s are nuts sometimes, I wake up at 5:00am with all intentions of completing the list of to-do’s carried over from Friday.

And boy has it been an accelerated day. Don’t read me wrong; this is not a complaint, just an observation and my motivation to conduct a late day priority check with it being the beginning of a very busy week.

I’m sure you’ve experienced the accelerated day syndrome… You know them, days where the clock, through some mysterious act of physics, moves as if attempting to mock your organizational skills while confusing your head concerning the true duration of an hour.

What…! Five minutes ago, it was 2:00pm, how in the sake of all that is wholly can it suddenly be 5:00pm…? Am I loosing my mind…! or does it just take that long for me to do __________________________? You fill in the blank.

Why this phenomenon occurs…? I know not? Maybe its age, could be due to deep focus of task, or possibly the distractions of phone, email bings or door knocks. But whatever it is… today is the day the mystery of time suck has visited my abode.

But in the eye of the minute storm, I manage to find a fifteen-minute window of still waters.

Here I am, corner of Sherman Way and Remmet. And no… I’m not walking the streets selling my wares. I’m on my way to pick up my daughter from her acting class at a nearby studio. With the cost of fuel at over $4.00, I can afford a little shoe tread wear. Plus I need to work off my sitting at the desk belly bulge.

Can’t help it, I love food, and the mixture of a day of computer time (retouching an assignment that I am delivering today), and a cupboard full of microwavable delights, my taste buds are in full gear.

Five minutes down, ten minutes of time left, and with my solitary stroll close to an end, I encounter the sweet and wafting aroma of a savory stir fry carrying itself under my over stimulated nerves of food consumption.

Where is this bouquet of culinary temptation emanating from, I explore… and in my visual excavation of the storefronts I detect the source of my aromatic seducer.

Who doesn’t love their secret hole in the wall restaurants? And today I think I have found a new off the beaten path haunt, a funky little neon faced Vietnamese eatery on the curbside of Sherman Way, just East of Remmet.

I inspect the rating, “A”… that’s good in my book. And as examine the photo menus in the window, a restaurant patron exits to check his parking meter.

I can’t resist, “How is the food,” I inquire.

The guy glows as if I have found his dining nirvana, “Its really good and cheap, and I come here four or five time a month.” He emits.

We chat food for a while, and what the heck, I’ve found a new place to eat and a stranger who shares in my passion for hidden dive food, why not invite him to be a 365 friend. I ask the questions?

And today we get a first, a personally written set of short responses from our friend of the day, Gavin.

As we begin our interview, the door of the restaurant opens and out comes a waitress caring Gavin’s take away order. Plus, in five minutes I must pick up my daughter, so we are concise in our conversation. Still, even though our chat is brief, Gavin writes us words to live by and to consider or destiny.

Per wisdom, Gavin quotes William Butler Yeates.

Regarding the future of humanity, he has an optimistic point of view. Yet as optimistic as it is, there is a dark side to Gavin’s predictions; predictions that he has first hand knowledge, working at a premier health insurer, Blue Cross / Blue Shield.

And for those of you who are enraged by the insanely unfair increase of coverage over the last few months, take note and do not attack Gavin.

He brings me up to speed when I tell him of my dissatisfaction with the rate hikes of my policy.

“That is Anthem Blue Cross, I work for Blue Cross / Blue Shield. We are separate companies, with our own policies. My job is to help people, and that is what I like about what I do.”

I’ve now got three minutes left before my girl is ready for pick up, and with Gavin wanting to enjoy a hot meal, we bid farewell.

Gavin, thank you for your street time, a pleasure speaking with you.

The last place on earth you will find me is hanging out at a cyber café. The mere thought of vicarious activity in a room full of dissociated people is just a bit too disengaged for me.

Sure, technology is here to stay, and even I am happily embracing its reach and ability to throw messages to the masses.

And one would be living in a cocoon to say that the world of new media, streaming video and social portals has not irreversibly changed our social culture.

The planet gets smaller year by year, that’s a good thing, and again we need to give much credit to the ever-expanding technology that has allowed us all the resources to connect on a range as broad as our imaginations and tenacity will carry us.

“Yes!” I proclaim… The information stream is a good thing, and necessary in today’s racing and imploding society. This is a fact that I undeniably admit, Blogs, Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, and the immense list of URL’s brings us closer and provides us with whatever we are looking for at the click of a mouse of the touch of a screen.

But take heed my friends in not forgetting the peace of human interaction, or the feel of air rushing into your face.

With all good thing come’s a price, and why do I worry about the price we may be paying in overindulging in the instant gratification and vicarious friendships that this new world is offering us?

My answer is simple… the loss of who we are and a numbing of our senses towards the real world around us.

I would have never thought in a million years that I would be producing writings like this. Yet, I will not delude you that my thoughts are not from my heart, but in saying this, I must more fully credit the greater part of my writings to the stories that are graced to me each and every day as I reach out in my face-to-face quest through following my 365 self-challenge, “Chin up and eyes open to the world around me.”

So this evening as I commute past the local cyber hot spot, I find myself magnetized by a small group of people standing in front of it’s LED illuminated doors. And even though the cyber gaming world in not my bag, my subconscious self commands me to veer to the right and reset my course to engage with these cyber strangers.

Up I walk, and with the typical 365 hello I find myself deep in conversation with a group of three diverse friends. Friends who vary in age from 19 to 40’s; friends who all share one common mission, to oversee the safety of their neighbor, a young woman who is deeply fixated on the cyber experience within the walls of the café.

For the sake of time and condensed word count, I’ll focus on one of these three uniquely different, yet bonded individuals, and at her request for privacy, we’ll call her anonymous dancer (“A” for short). Per the other two, we have agreed to speak at a later date.

“A” is a wonder of imagination and culture, a woman who understands compassion and commitment to helping her fellow human.

She tells me of how she met one of the two friends she is talking with. “I met him when he was homeless, my car had broken down and he had helped me push it to my house. He looked tired and I offered him my car for a sleeping quarters. From there we became friends, I remember bringing him eggs in the mornings.”

The story has a bright ending, the once homeless man is now employed, has an apartment and obviously the friendship has blossomed.

“A” does not step foot in the cyber café, like I said… her presence this evening is that of a protector. The night is a little chilly, and I have no idea of how long she has been watching out for her young friend inside. That alone gives me insight into her perspective on how she respects the people in her community.

Our conversation is deep and ranges from concern to the events in the Middle East to the economy, to her history in the arts (a profession dancer who has performed on New York’s stage) and the concerns of what the cyber world is doing to our culture.

With an infectious energy she decrees, “Everyone should be dancing.”

In furthering her announcement, she lengthens its meaning. “We need to be walking the streets and meeting people, I see a time when, with the rising cost of fuel, more and more of us will be walking, Like in New York. That will be a good thing for society. To see each other eye to eye.”

Everyone should be dancing = everyone should be on their toes, not on their butts, glued to a vicarious life of backlit display.

We talk of not judging people at a surface level, and of the findings of 365.

“I like the way people are in New York, on the outside, it may seem that they don’t care, but on the inside they allow everyone to be who they are and they respect individuality.” “A” communicates.

I have to agree with her.

In her reference, we learn a lesson; she is not telling us that we have to be best friends with everyone. Not even that we have to associate with all. But she does charge us with this: Even if we are strangers, we can still give each other the same respects that we would expect to receive. Makes sense, non of us can say that all people truly know us at face value, so how can we place any label on others without justly knowing what is in their hearts and minds?

I’ve been chastened this evening, I can’t say that my views of the cyber café has been affected, but I can say this, it was wrong of me to make any assumptions as to the patrons of such an establishment. For if I had fully done so, and ignored my intuition to walk up this evening, I would have absolutely missed out on meeting a wonderful person.

“A”, thanks for your anonymous words!

Deep breath… We’ve made it to the half way point of 365. It’s been an exquisite adventure, one that has allowed us, for over six months to meet a marvelously diverse group of strangers. Strangers who are now friends in one way or the other.

We have heard from close to two hundred individuals, in whom many life philosophies have been revealed.

Some have had dark times or words to share, others light-hearted moments and in many we have developed a variety of common themes and through-line stories.

Selfishly, I must thank you for traveling with me in aiding the growth of my writing skills (over 160,000 words to date), and if you have been following from the beginning, you may have even noticed an improvement of my spelling. Yep, I get it now… surely… not surly.

I’ve platformed face to face with nearly eight hundred people, some loving 365 in allowing me to photograph them, and others chasing me off like the Bubonic Plague. Yet still, we roll forward in our hopes of forming a better understanding of humankind.

The meaning of unity has grown within my heart, and my respect for the worth of the individual has expanded to encompass all that I do.

I have now observed countless examples of the effects of the actions, or thoughts, of one single person. And have first hand felt of both the negative and uplifting results of mingling with society.

The power any individual yields is immense. If harnessed for the positive, it can change lives and be a powerful contributor towards to betterment of humanity. However, if faltered by judgment, greed, deceit or any number of the admonitions our friends of the last 184 days have departed upon us, one can also stop the clock of positive progression of man and planet.

My life and career will never be the same, and I have 365 to credit for the new perspective I now wear on my shirtsleeve, “We really are in this thing together.”

And within us all lies the potential for greatness, for self, for community and for (I know this is a huge claim) for mankind.

“Thanks Richard, another life gospel by Richard moment, but what in the world does it have to do with the group photo, and the words.”

In a way maybe I have cheated a little today, yet deep down I think I am legit.

From time to time I am called upon by educational and other institutions to present or lecture on artistic craft and professional development; in doing I have always soapboxed for self-honesty, and through sharing methods of creative development and balanced life perspective, I hope I have shed some light as to the life of an artistic mind.

So to be visited today by the photo department of Brigham Young University, gives me first call to adapt my 365 findings to a usual and rehearsed presentation. And you know what? Nothing is the same anymore!

For two hours I find myself center stage in interacting with twenty unknown faces, all of whom I am positive have twenty unique stories.

Some are engaged… some are distant (makes sense, they have been traveling and visiting other photographers for two days, and I am the last of the schedule).

We talk of history and business, but when we hit the 365 stride, magic happens (well at least in my mind… if any of you BYU friends are reading this, let me know if I am off base?)

I tell of Slava, my first friend, and the experience that drove me to start 365 along with the outcome in how it has affected both my personal life and professional position.

The biggest take away for all of us, as I sing like a broken record, “We are all unique, have our own point-of-view and if we have the courage to listen to it, and to follow it, then we can find our full potential.”

That blended with a healthy respect for the world, and the people around us, is key to self-development and the conquering of what I call, “The illness of bitterness.”

An illness that once contracted, has the terrible power to blur not only vision, but mind, spirit and body.

We conclude our time together, and as I prepare my camera bag for a 365 venture, it hits me that these fine young men and women are absolute strangers. But how in heaven can I fairly interview such a large group in what I feel can take no longer than twenty minutes (they are hungry, tired, and I am sure ready to hear another voice other than mine).

Ah, I get a brainstorm! Just like the new years challenge, allow them to write one word that answers either of my questions. I give no direction, and take only one frame of each new friend. Want to keep it really honest.

Sure, they are snap shots, yet the more I look at them, the more I can truly see the depth and character of each individual, and amazing they all are.

For your reference, here is a reminder of the questions.

Question One:
“If you could give the people of the world any advice, council or wisdom, what would you say?”

Question Two:
“Looking towards the future, where would you like to see the people of the world, or the planet, and/or what do you predict the world will be like?”

Hope you enjoyed…Talk tomorrow my friends.

7:00pm Friday night, the streets are full of people enjoying an endless choice of catering trucks, a typical end of week in Granada Hills, with the gathering of the best of the best mobile eateries. I’ve been here several times and every time I attend, enjoy the great food and company in meeting a stranger turned friend.

I arrive with expectations of again meeting a friend on the street, but as I walk, a dry feeling engulfs me, swaying me away from wanting to approach anyone on the sidewalk. What does keep nagging at me is this, “Go to the Barber shop you passed on that side street where you parked your car.”

I ignore the prompting for some time, reasoning with myself, “You have committed to meeting someone on the boulevard,” and the more I walk the louder the voice gets, “Go to the barber shop!”

It’s close to 8:00pm now, I’ve aimlessly wandered for close to an hour, when I walk through the doors and enter the pool-tabled shop of Barber/Entrepreneur Jalon.

I am a little apprehensive to interrupt he and his last two clients of the day, but with welcoming attitudes they allow me into their circle, a circle of more than client/barber relationship, but a circle of true friendship.

Both have been coming to Jalon (Twitter) for years, “He is the best in The San Fernando Valley,” one says. “No,” the other exclaims, “He is the best barber in California.”

What makes Jarom so good at what his craft, again in the voice of his clients, “Precision, like Kobe!”

Yet there is more to Jalon than precision, his shop is a sanctuary the friendship and I have found myself amidst friends in what feels like a living room conversation.

Jalon sets the tone, and upon his suggestion for us, I realize why.

“This may sound cliché, but we should all follow the golden rule.” He begins as he works on an intricate cut on one of his clients… I mean friends.

Sure we have heard many talk of the Golden Rule, yet this is the first time I have been in an environment that radiates its values.

It is a universal rule that has been expressed to me by just about every kind of person you can think of. And this has driven me to do a little research:

From the scriptures of the Bahá’í Faith:
“Blessed is he who preferreth his brother before himself. —Bahá’u’lláh

Beware lest ye harm any soul, or make any heart to sorrow; lest ye wound any man with your words, be he known to you or a stranger, be he friend or foe.” —`Abdu’l-Bahá

Buddha advises:
“Comparing oneself to others in such terms as “Just as I am so are they, just as they are so am I,” he should neither kill nor cause others to kill. —Sutta Nipata 705

One who, while himself seeking happiness, oppresses with violence other beings who also desire happiness, will not attain happiness hereafter. —Dhammapada 10. Violence”

Christian ethics:
“Therefore all things whatsoever ye would that men should do to you, do ye even so to them” —Matthew 7:12

 “Do not seek revenge or bear a grudge against one of your people, but love your neighbor as yourself” —Leviticus 19:18

 “But the stranger that dwelleth with you shall be unto you as one born among you, and thou shalt love him as thyself; for ye were strangers in the land of Egypt: I am the LORD your God”.  —Leviticus 19:34”

Judaism:
“You shall not take vengeance or bear a grudge against your kinsfolk. Love your neighbor as yourself: I am the LORD.” —Leviticus 19:18

“The stranger who resides with you shall be to you as one of your citizens; you shall love him as yourself, for you were strangers in the land of Egypt: I the LORD am your God.” —Leviticus 19:34

“’That which is hateful to you, do not do to your fellow. That is the whole Torah; the rest is the explanation; go and learn. —Talmud, Shabbat 31a, the ‘Great Principle’”

Islam:
“…and you should forgive And overlook: Do you not like God to forgive you? And Allah is The Merciful Forgiving.” —Qur’an (Surah 24, “The Light,” v. 22)”

“The most righteous person is the one who consents for other people what he consents for himself, and who dislikes for them what he dislikes for himself.”

Here is a link to a much fuller set of interpretations of the rule. A rather enlightening read.

Jalon is a man of compassion, who evidently holds strong to The Golden Rule in the way he treats his clients… oh again… I mean friends… or per The Golden Rule… “Neighbors.”

Neighbors that through my unannounced visit this evening, I am comfortable to call friends.

Jalon finishes the last haircut and even though quitting time from a long day has arrived, he graciously allows me some photo time.

I ask him of his advice for us, challenging him to think of both the present and of the world to come.

For the present, “Try to find some kind of a spiritual crutch, so when people are not around you can rely on, you have somewhere to turn.”

For what’s ahead, “I don’t think we are heading to too much good. There is too much inflation, and the way things are going, it looks like the government will be running things. I’m not sure if I want to be there.”

Two very sobering outlooks, both of which we can choose either to ignore or to do what we can in contributing to a better future.

Let us all be that crutch Jalon speaks of; that in our own way, we magnify what has been brought to us by so many of our 365 friends, that same Golden Rule.

It close to 8:30pm, we are all feeling a little spent and with a teamsmanship like hug, Jalon and I part our ways.

Talk tomorrow, my friends.

For some reason, as I write of today’s friend, I can’t purge the reference of Charles Lutwidge Dodgson’s (pseudonym Lewis Carroll) classic novel, Alice In Wonderland.

I’m sure you know the story, and as I reflect on how to acquaint you with my new friend, one character keeps appearing in my mind, that of the Hookah smoking oracle, The Caterpillar.

No he is not a Hookah smoker, nor does he speak in riddles, or exploit any of his wisdom with any form of rudeness. Yet in addressing us, he is deliberate, calm and introspectively aware… like an oracle.

His name is Irvin, a young man, who other than his zest for basketball and in developing his career as an architect, he is committed to passing on what he can.

“What is your definition of success?” I question.

In perfect oracle form, he pauses long and deep, then replies, “Success is being able to not only help yourself… but to help others.

Either you steer people the right way or help them open their eyes in taking a moment to focus on what they really want, and to help them get there before it’s too late.

And if there is something else they want to be, to help them to act before they waste time, money or opportunities.”

Irvin is only twenty-one, how does he gain such insight?

In his words, “My dad is from Central America, moved to the United States when he was twenty. His father abandoned his family when he was seven years old, and since then he has always been a hard worker. He had to, wanted a better life for his family and he has never given up.

Last year he had a brain aneurism at forty-eight and suffered a stroke that paralyzed his left leg. Now he walks… he never gives up.

He has always inspired me to wake up every day and do something. I have to admit that some days I so wake up and just want to have fun, then I think of my dad or other people in the same situation, or how hard my mom is working to support the family now that my dad can’t work anymore.”

Irvin is no martyr; he is an advocate for self-reflection and of positive action.

“I’m shy,” he tells me. But as I converse with Irvin, he slowly opens up and I see not an ounce of hesitation. I propose… Irvin is incredibly thoughtful.

From his example, might we think of how we react to those around us who are not the greatest orators or at the center of attention? The question, do we dismiss, before we inquire?

Irvin ponders throughout out interview, and after each pause he delivers humble counsel, “’I can’t give any advise of myself, but based on my experience with my family and friends, I’d say, ‘keep pushing and don’t give up. Opportunities show up if you keep pushing.’”

Yeah, we have heard similar words before… Keep pushing, Irvin claims.

Many may react, how much more can I push? Life is too difficult! It’s not fair!

But when you think of the case of Irvin’s father, who in many ways, had the deck of life cards stacked against him, it is evident that all is possible, and life becomes a matter of balanced perspective.

And that balanced perspective is what has been passed on to Irvin, and the genesis to my labeling him, oracle.

“People used to be a lot friendlier and less insecure.” Irvin tells me.

I’ve heard this line before, “People used to be a lot friendlier,” but Irvin give us an original interpretation by including the thought, “And less insecure.”

Again, an oracle’s reflection, and a reflection that we can all chew on. Life is faster than ever, and I am positive that it will only speed up with the passage of time.

Brings us to accountability in directing our behavior and brain waves. With a world moving faster than we can ourselves develop, how can we find our true selves?

Every day is a battle for quite mind share, and in Irvin’s paused thinking as he responds to my questions, I am re-reminded of a valuable lesson, “Think before you act, and act upon what you mind tells you is right. And in doing so, be strong enough to ignore any world influence that is contrary to your core beliefs of who you are.”

There is so much compassion for others in Irvin, Things like returning from Hawaii, where he was attending university, to help his youngest brother who was getting into trouble, and his current evening employment, not solely for himself and his education, but also to do his part in supporting the family.

Another pause, followed by wishes for the next generations, “I hope life goes in a good direction. There are a lot of good resources and opportunities… if people don’t get greedy.”

Greed? I agree, the mother of so much devastation.

After thirty minutes of conversation, Irvin unassumingly talks of his needs, “I like to be with people who are supportive and inspiring, and look out for me. You don’t want to be with people who put you in a bad position. I’ve been pretty lucky!”