SideWalk Ghosts / Interview 212: “We Live In It… And We Are It”

From left to right: Dennis, Bryant, Josh and Patrick

9:00pm, hanging out at game night with my daughter during our monthly restaurant gathering of schooling friends and family. I sit for a while at the man cave (the table in the corner where several of us fathers gather to shoot the breeze while our kids blow off steam).

It’s a community in itself, a group of eclectic families, all with one united purpose in finding a safe haven for our children to play, and an opportunity for parents to meet.

All who now know me as the 365 guy, having come to accept my commitment to the project. And, knowing that the eve is drawing to a close, and supported by my friend Heidi, who watches my daughter, I take leave to seek tonight’s friend.

Out of the restaurant doors I go, and with a vibrant Saturday night street before me, I scan the horizon. To the left, street traffic and coffee houses; to the right, music and dining and across the street a small mass of eclectic diversity enters and exits the Fabien Castanier Gallery… It’s a no brainer… I’ve got to go there and I’m sure I’ll meet an edgy group.

It’s a trippy installation, one that has drawn quite a diverse crowd. I wander from wall to wall, wrapping myself around the artwork and absorbing the rhythm of the room.

Now I have to tell you, although I am an artist myself, working the gallery scene is not my area of expertise, so I settle in to people watch and in extending a greeting smile to all who engage in my path.

Choosing to not force any conversation, I submit to allow whatever energy finds it way to me.

I wander on, partaking of the spirit of the gallery while appreciating the art, and in the midst of the hum of room noise and the starkness of spot lit white walls, a kind face appears out of the mass of moving shoulders.

“Is this your gallery?” I inquire.

“How did you know?” comes back at me.

“I don’t know, you just looked to me like a man who has something to say,” I second.

He smiles, “It’s not really my gallery, just kidding, but let me introduce you around.”

Dennis is his name, and with the grace of a seasoned diplomat, he guides me to an introduction of what is little less than all who are in attendance… I’m overwhelmed.

What I thought was going to be a chance meeting with sir, or madam edgy has transformed to an evening of inspiration that is in contrast to the provocative subject matter of the art that is before me.

Dennis gives us a quote from Founder of The Peace Alliance Marianne Williamson:
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.

In this he asks us to “Shamelessly embrace our personal value.”

As we talk, another stranger turned friend reaches out with a handshake. “How can I help you… and what’s your story?” Josh invites himself into our conversation.

His Boston accent is infectious and his genuine interest is refreshing. We exchange the usual social pleasantries, and after a brief talk of the 365 mission, he kicks in with an ingratiating, “I’d be happy to contribute.”

Turns out that Josh is a publicist (Wickid Pissa Publicity) and is way behind what we’re doing with 365.

He explains his link to the PR world, “I specialize in indie film, but really like what you are doing. I have a few words to share.”

At first, I’m not certain where things will go, thinking that we will be promoting his projects, something that I am happy to do, but also cautious to not pull too far away from the 365 message of “passing it on.”

Again, I am about to get another lesson in the misconceptions of pre-determining the direction of a conversation. Turns out, Josh is a superstar of positive outreach.

He opens, “Life is what you make it. While we are here we need to soak it up like a sponge. Inject it like an everlasting slush puppy.”

A rather fun and creative call, and one that I hope brings a glimpse of light to how we view our circumstances. He pauses in thought, “’I’ve got a quote that come to mind, it from a Robert Herrick poem. Funny how some things just stick in your head: Gather ye rosebuds while ye may.’

We talk about it for a minute or two. The conclusion, enjoy what we have as we do not know what will happen tomorrow; yet, another review of the living in the moment through line that has fallen upon us this week.

For your reference I have looked up the whole poem:

GATHER ye rosebuds while ye may,
Old Time is still a-flying:
And this same flower that smiles to-day
To-morrow will be dying.

The glorious lamp of heaven, the sun,
The higher he’s a-getting,
The sooner will his race be run,
And nearer he’s to setting. 

That age is best which is the first,
When youth and blood are warmer;
But being spent, the worse, and worst
Times still succeed the former. 

Then be not coy, but use your time,
And while ye may, go marry:
For having lost but once your prime,
You may for ever tarry.

Two other friends approach, Josh’s clients, actors Patrick and Bryant. I wish I had enough room in this entry to express their humanistic outlook and acceptance of people. You’ll just have to trust me on it. Time is getting very short with my needing to go back to my daughter before the game night ends at 10:00pm.

I’ve been here forty-five minutes now, and as a responsible parent, it’s time to wind down our discussion.

Bryant does give us a word of council in following our dreams “You have to be crazy to be successful. You can’t believe the odds that are against you and most importantly you can’t be afraid to fail.”

No fear, go forward with faith, both in yourself and in a higher power, and walk with peace towards your future; a theme that is becoming the poignant topic of this night.

Josh reflects on the future. “I see us living like The Jestons on steroids, and wonder what would Hemingway or Shakespeare would think if they could see the social media that we are utilizing in our everyday lives. And in that, I have to question, what will the future of technology, and what will our leaders do with it to make the world a better place?”

A better place, interesting and contrasting words to hear as I stand in front of vicarious artworks.

Josh concludes. “We have to take care of our planet and it inhabitants. Treat them with the respect they deserve. After all, we live in it… and we are it.”

In a later sidebar Dennis concurs, “For the future — There is far more for us to do than simply obey. We are all brilliant gifts to humanity and to all that occupies the limitless space we live in. Let’s freely express our gifts and receive the gifts that others have for us.”

Like Josh says, “We live in it… and we are it.”

Thanks guys, this truly has been an emotionally uplifting and esthetic evening.

SideWalk Ghosts / Interview 211: “Family values…We Need To Get Back To That”

“Everything is about an open mind and heart. As long as we understand that everyone has their own truths, and that we don’t need to change them. What we do need to do is respect them and acknowledge that everyone is uniquely different. Out differences are a good thing.” – Luis: Dentist, Photographer, and Stranger Turned Friend of day 211.

“Dentists are artists and my focus is on cosmetic dentistry; every patient is different and to be able to help in taking them out of pain and in giving them a nice smile is the best part of what I do.

“It’s about helping a person to be what they want to be, and to help them feel better about themselves. I’ve seen people’s personalities change. It’s great to see their esteem grow in feeling they can do what they want to do. I love my job.

“You have to like what you do and do it your best. Life is about enjoying what you do and work and life have to be together. Everything: from family, to work, to relations, to play.”

An ambassador for what I am calling “life-sight,” Luis speaks of the world, “Everything is beautiful. So many people go through life in a tunnel. They not stop to see the world.”

I ask Luis about the future and in harmony to his outlook on beauty, he realistically phrases his hope for the future, “We are in difficult cross roads and I’m not sure what will happen. We need to integrate ourselves in a heart/mind way. There are too many extremes. I’d like to see the race barriers disappear. And for that to happen the hate and extreme points of view need to disappear.”

What of this beauty for the world thing that Luis talks of?

He and I chat for some time regarding this topic and as we talk it is obvious that he is not wearing rose-colored glasses. Luis is no newcomer to his perspective. This is evident in his disposition. I will not say that he and I divulge any deep life histories, so I am reading between the lines; lines that are opened in knowing that Luis has kept his family values.

As an immigrant to the United States from Guatemala, Luis carries a humanistic wisdom and an understanding of global community. A community that is of obvious priority in the way he speaks of the people in his circle of influence. Luis is a man of balanced perspective.

I meet him, along with his wife of forty years, Olga, this day at a rather upscale park in Laguna Hills. The moment I step up to him with a hello, he is warm and charming. No pomp, no barriers, and no dismissive responses. Really quite the opposite in expressing his interest in who I am and in what I am doing.

Truly I can say that I have met a new friend, and not only a friend, a fellow photographer.

“Photography energizes me,” Luis exposes (no pun intended).

A few of Luis’ Photographs

Luis is a true artist through and through. Not only in the way he views everything in his path, but also in his compassion towards his co-humans; a man of real compassion and conviction to do what he can to leave a positive footprint in his life and to be of service to those he associates with, patient, family, friend and stranger alike.

They say that beside every good man is a good woman, and in briefly meeting Olga, this sentiment is manifest.

We don’t speak for long, the grandchildren are calling and with a personal dinner commitment drawing close, we summarize.

Her advice is simple. “We need to get back to loving family values.”

Olga, Luis and I ponder the power of her council and conclude with a few observations.

Things like the pace of this generation: media, new technology, religious alienations and the pressures of a difficult economy. We come to a conclusion. “A good family will always survive any obstacle. No matter where, or with what, it will carry forward and its influence will go around everywhere.”

Olga wraps our discussion, and with the warmth of a seasoned mother, she smiles, “Family values…we need to get back to that.”

SideWalk Ghosts / Interview 210: “It’s Unconditional”

The 365 Questions:
1) If you could give the world any council, advice or wisdom, what would you say?
2) Thinking forward towards the future; say one, ten, twenty, even fifty to one hundred years and beyond. Where do you predict we will be, or how should we be adjusting for what is to come?

For those of you who have been with me in the 365 journeys you are most likely familiar with the above questions. For those of you new to the blog, know that the they are the base to my approaching strangers every day in inviting their perspectives to be shared with you.

Over nine hundred individuals have I approached since September 9, 2011, when the 365 project began. And of those over nine hundred, somewhere between three and four hundred have engaged in conversation with me. Not all allow me to photograph them, but my findings are universal, even in the rejections (and I have had many), we all have something to say.

It’s been really cool focusing away from the celebrities, mainstream events and targeted venues. My path has been completely organic, stopping to say hello to all that I meet… no matter where… no matter who.

Real people… With real stories…

…Some interviews come easy, while others are an outcome of hours of rejections and long days. Non-the-less, one point is never-ending, “We are in this thing together.”

I’ve made this claim regularly and hope I am not boring you with its repetitive announcement. And for some reason, it seems that today it is appropriate to throw it in introducing you to this evenings uniquely connected couple, Kathleen, teacher of unconditional love classes and her husband Lynn, Studio Medic.

They’re words are both a playful and sublime weave of thoughts and perspectives. Two uniquely individual outlooks that manage to connect on a level that showcases the strength of a committed couple. Over twenty-one years together strong, Kathleen and Lynn hold my attention for a set of notes that are difficult for me to keep up with.

Here is the summary of what they share.

Kathleen:
“There really is no substitute for kindness in mind, in heart and in verbiage. Kindness is love in action, and love cannot function without action.

Love encompasses the ability to not judge others, and the ability to forgive. And one of the most empowering things is to be able to forgive everyone for everything, even yourself.

There will not be any peace without forgiveness.

And if peace is what you seek, you must learn to forgive not only others, but also yourself.

We can learn to have peace by learning to live in the moment.

Looking at the next tens years… I see the world becoming an extraordinarily dire place where morality will continue to decay. But, there is no point in being frightened. We can only focus on the good, and in wishing joy to our fellow-man.

God is in the heavens and he knows what he is doing.

The next one hundred years…? Christ will come and we will enter the Millennium.

I advise us all that thinking we have no life in the past or waiting for better time in the future is a fallacy. There is joy in the present moment. This kind of thinking gives us all a different perspective to what we are doing and where we are going. It is calming and focusing.

Too many people worry about getting older and loose their spontaneity. They become stodgy and old. I don’t buy it.

We create our own reality and have to love ourselves.”

Lynn:
“Everyday I find a different appreciation for The Golden Rule.”

“Never miss a chance to eat, drink or go to the bathroom.”

“’Never go to see a movie that has a trailer that begins with ‘In a World.’”

“Never let your wife’s hand touch a doorknob.”

“If you and your spouse disagree and you find out you are correct…Apologize immediately.”

“Live in the moment and think towards the good of all, rather than looking at the external influences. Things like drugs, sports, money, status, gossip, or any other form of comparison.”

“It’s really in the questions you ask yourself that you create your thoughts.”

“Wouldn’t it be terrible if you reached the end of your life and realized that you only lived 1/10th of it?”

“Be of service… and pay it forward.”

I can say no more… Until tomorrow my friends.

 

SideWalk Ghosts / Interview 209: “No Work Is Lost”

“No work is lost,” Carol simply states. Great words told to us today from an articulate orator, new friend, actor and parent.

In bridging to an understanding to our meeting we must allow our imaginations to return to The Renaissance, a time that supported by the invention of printing sped the dissemination of ideas from the later 15th century forward. An era of cultural movement that profoundly affected European intellectual life and by the 16th century it greatly influenced literature, philosophy, art, music, politics, science, religion and other aspects of intellectual inquiry.

I run into Carol during my daughter’s park day as she and her three adult children present a wonderfully entertaining and informed presentation on this historical benchmark in the advancement of mankind.

What is remarkable is that Carol does not read from a script, is seemingly un-rehearsed and carries more authenticity in her words than many a seasoned thespian.

What is her secret…? My take… Carol lives what she preaches, and I can see no better example of her humanistic outlook that of The Renaissance.

In so many ways The Renaissance aligns with the climate of our existing world. Compare the advent of the printing press of the 15th century to the growth of the web, new media and the easy access to information and communication of our current times. Or ponder the political, social and religious wars of the 21st century and link your thoughts to what the citizen of the 1400’s must have been experiencing.

We’ve talked of rule 20/20 hindsight and of looking to the past to predict the future. Makes me feel as if, in a way, we are at the gates of a second Renaissance. What are you thoughts…? We want to know?

Carol talks of her life growth, “Everything we go through is for our own good, and in all we learn, we either strengthen our patience or gain experience. This has always been true for me.”

Whatever Carol is doing, she is doing right in passing on this message. And in spending a little time speaking with her kids, two sons, one daughter and three grandchildren, all of whom are equally articulate, kind and giving, Carol’s wisdom is carried on. This in itself is a testament to the positive, forward thinking, outgoing and humanistically searching persona that Carol so peacefully emits.

I ask Carol to think about where we are going as a society.

“It could be really good or really bad, but I prefer to not dwell on focusing on it. I think it is more important to stay in the moment.” Carol summarizes.

Her perspective strikes me to consider a perspective. A set of self-questions really…

“What do I do with my life today?”

“How can I reach out to those around me today… not tomorrow… or next week?”

“Does it really matter who I support?”

“Can I let go… and allow myself to wholly look, listen and feel?”

“And if I do, will it make a difference in the long run?”

Carol is here at the park today, sharing what she has to share with a group of roughly eighty-five children and parents; none are critics, directors or producers, yet she is here, giving of her time and craft. Her words are of intellect and compassion. I ask myself, “With so many seasoned actors choosing to self grasp their talents in desire for the big lights. How many would do the same?”

Today Carol is a shining star of stunning physique, enlightening the minds of the next generation, and my hope is that they grasp a spark of what she has gifted to her park dwelling audience.

There is no stage, no orchestra, and no fanfare; just young, inquiring and growing minds, all captivated by the performance of Carol and her family. And in relation to the thinking of The Renaissance that they so eloquently are presenting, maybe a few minds have been influenced this afternoon.

Carol emphasizes, “I think it is more important to stay in the moment.”

I think, “A moment unshared is a moment lost.”

The question at hand it this, in Renaissance alignment, “Do we choose to question our existence, or do we not?”

And with the “In the moment” premise that Carol has placed before us, may we now relate it to the other aspects of her outlook per the future, “It could be really good or really bad, but I prefer to not dwell on focusing on it.”

In a way, I think Carol has charged us to relate what we do today to its influence on what is to come.

As quoted from the words of Malcolm X, “The future belongs to those who prepare for it today.”

Carol and family, “Bravo!”

SideWalk Ghosts / Interview 208: “We Need to Be Brave”

“You caught me a little off guard,” I am told in approaching today’s friend, “Hat,” who in respect for privacy of her family has requested that I keep her identity unknown.

And in offbeat way, Hat is not talking about being uncomfortable by my approaching her, but rather, due to what I can identify as a kind of a role reversal in my reach out to her.

“I’ve been here all day and you are the first person who has started a conversation with me,” Hat brings me up to speed.

I have to say, I am a little shocked, seeing that she has been stationed for over ten hours outside of our meeting place at the front of a local healthy eatery.

Her message is the direct opposite of intimidating and is worthy of conversation with its initiatives supported by the global footprint of a very contemporary environmental non-profit. One of which, I again, do not reveal in honoring Hat’s request for privacy.

So to hear that after a long day of outputting her commitment to community kindness, an energy that first drew me towards her, I am surprised to find out that I am the first to open conversation with her.

Hat is dedicated to bettering the planet, both on the level of environmentalism and in focus towards uniting cultures.

“I’ve been approaching people for years trying to get our word out and have talked to a lot of people. It’s very interesting to see how different groups in different regions act.” Hat summarizes as she forwards her basic findings of “We all need to work on engaging in the kindness of the small gesture, it opens hearts.”

And exactly how do we do that…? Per the suggestion of Hat, “By listening.”

“The wall of apathy is disturbing.” A point of view that Hat has earned the credentials to own through her years of approaching strangers in forwarding her works.

“I’ve spoken with the rich and the poor, all religions, races and sexes; its been the coolest thing speaking out for something that I am passionate about, and I have learned a lot about myself and about society.”

However, Hat charges us to do more than merely pass on the smile, she directs us to engage in bettering our outlook, “We have to be courageous enough to talk about things of significance.”

For many of us, a very frightening proposition, I’m sure. But a proposition that, as Hat has demonstrated, the more we practice the easier it gets.

Hat leaves us with this, “We need to be brave.”

SideWalk Ghosts / Interview 207: “Opening the Gateway”

“Dance is the hidden language of the soul” Martha Graham

“For thirty-two years I worked in law enforcement with the LAPD, I never thought I would be a dancer.

Then after forty years of marriage, my wife died. It left a tremendous void in my life. We did everything together. My grief was deep and I needed a diversion from my pain.

I found a coupon for six dance lessons, and thinking it would be an escape from my heartache, I signed up. I told myself that it would be like learning a golf stroke; I’d take the six lessons… and move on. I was completely wrong.

Dance healed me of my grief.”

At sixty-seven and with the vitality of a twenty-one year old, John shares his outlook on life, and of the here after.

“The pathway to heaven is paved with all the smiles you put on people’s faces.” John reviews as he exuberantly exhorts in talking of what he calls, “Opening the Gateway.”

A gateway that he openly credits to the art of dance in being the key to his rebirth; and in this, he gives acknowledgment to the instruction of Karina Smirnoff for her talents and perspective.

It’s been three and a half years since I started dancing. At first, many of my friends mocked my decision, now they admire it. I’ve been blessed to dance, and will never stop.

Only yesterday we talked of smiles with the comments of our seventeen year old friend Cassidy, and today it is curious that this token of solidarity would arise again in meeting John.

For each, the reasoning for their smiling disposition differs, but as foretold by Pie Maker Matty, “All things happen for a reason.”

And perhaps for some untold reason, we are all needing a smile this day. A smile that through the stories of Cassidy and John has allowed us a first witnesses to the compression of a generation gap. A gap that perhaps we can bridge with one profound gesture: The power of the smile.

“The world is shrinking and at some point we well all be under the same umbrella. All will merge in acceptance; ages, races, sexes and religions. Judgment will decrease and no longer will be the case for global conflict.

I’m not saying that there will be no conflict; it will just be more on a personal level. More reason for us to find the common ground.”

“For me, Dance has been answer.” John concludes.

“The truest expressing of a people is in its dance and in its music. Bodies never lie”Agnes do Mille.

John, we hear you in your movement. Smile on and keep rocking the Pasodoble… my eloquent friend.

SideWalk Ghosts / Interview 206: “I Want A Chevelle”

“It’s getting too easy for kids,” Cassidy exposes when talking of new technology. Quite a contrast when compared to where I meet her…. at the same cyber café of my friend finding day 186.

Remember the anonymous friends who were watching the back of their young clan member. Well young clan member is Cassidy, and as I promised on March 12, 2012, I have returned to resume our conversations, and with the luck of the draw, Cassidy steps up to talk with us.

“We all need to smile more,” Cassidy charges as she references Buddha, “Do not dwell in the past, do not live for the future, stay in the moment.”

And the moment is where Cassidy dwells. Smiling she shares a youthful goal, “I want a Chevelle.”

“A Chevelle,” I question, “That is a real muscle car, what do you want in it?”

Being a typical guy, I’m thinking engine.

Cassidy cracks me up with her answer. Again with a smile and the greatest of humor, “I radio, doors, steering wheel…”

Now Cassidy knows exactly what I am talking about, she is just being funny. And talented she is. She, the clan and I start chuckling, “Cassidy, what is the rhythm of this song?” Her friends start rifling song titles at her. Titles that are obscure to titles that are mainstream, but in all, she hum’s a few bars of authenticity.

Ah! I get it, Cassidy is an entertainer and it radiates from her every pore.

We talk of life ahead, and again, in perfect youthful style she leaves us hope for the days ahead. “Sure we are going down…. but somewhere it will renew.

All we can do is stay happy and look forward to the future.

And with a little bit of brain effort, we can keep it positive.”

The wind is howling cold, and dinner is on the table… we decide to keep it short.

Cassidy, thanks for your rays of sunshine on this blistering and chilly sunset.

May your Chevelle arrive soon my friend!

SideWalk Ghosts / Interview 205: “I Serve Pie”

“I grew up in a small rural community in Philadelphia, we were poor, and every year when the state fair was running, my mom entered pies in the baking competitions. That way we could afford to go to the fair because they waived the entry fee for anyone who enters events. We could not afford admission, so my mom baked. Who would have thought she would be baking award-winning pies?

I was a tinkerer as a kid, and my mom was way supportive of me. If I wanted to make a robot, she would give me the pots and pans, knowing that they would never be able to be used again after I had finished with them. But she thought it was more important to stimulate my imagination than to hold on to her kitchen ware.

I followed my imagination and went to a special effects make up school; my dream was to go into the movie industry. I thought the scary movie stuff was pretty cool.

In 1997 I moved to Los Angeles to start my career, it was not what I dreamed it would be.”

A brief history of pie maker Matty, who in honoring the baking traditions of his family tree, opened the Pie Hole in May 2011.

My mom always wanted to open a pie shop. I remember when I was a kid. My dad was dreaming about opening a sporting goods store. My mom’s response, great idea! We can sell pies!

Then there was the bike shop I considered starting after realizing that panting walls in the special effects houses was not exactly what I was intending on doing. And again, mom was into it. Great idea! We can sell pies!”

So in 2010, when Matty’s mom started thinking pie shop in what I am calling the “Pie Summit,” He lobbied, Great idea! We can sell pies?!”

And as an ambassador for reaching the masses with the flavor of buttery crust and home-grown ambiance, he had but one condition, “We have to open it in Los Angeles, there will be more interest here than in rural Philly, where there is a pie house or diner in every town.”

Matty and Sean take a second to clown around.

To Matty’s surprise, mom agreed, an agreement was settled and with the support of long time friend, now business partner Sean, the quest to create pie nirvana began.

Until now, I had no Idea the Pie Hole existed. There is no advertising, no branded labels at the grocery store, and heck! it is hidden in an isolated art district of downtown LA.

So credit to where credit is due. I sit here, with family and friends, eating our last forks of Chicken Pot comfort, in follow-up to a referral from 365 friend of day 155. Brook – “Somewhere Magical…Hopefully It Will Involve Faries.”

I’m glad I listened to her advice. The place is flexing with movement, yet there is no feeling of rush for service, feels more like being in mom’s warm kitchen on a cold winter day (although the Southern California April is no match for my reference).

Protein consumed, we move on to our dessert pies, and through the pleasure of dancing taste buds, Matty and I sit in having a living room style after dinner chat.

Yet as charming as the Pie Hole is, to review it is not the reason I am here. I am here because Brook has told me that Matty has a great perspective on life.

“What is important to me is being able to connect with people,” Matty’s core reason for the Pie Hole.

“Everyone say’s to follow your heart, and do what you want to do, and I am now just starting to understand that idea.

I was not happy at all following the movie career, but now I know why I am in Los Angeles, it has always been to open this store. I could not see it when I moved here, and now it is as clear as day.”

“So what advice do you have for all of us?” I request.

Without pause, “Step back and take a deep breath before you make any decisions. Everything happens for a reason…  And Rushing never seems to help any situation.”

As we are talking, countless friends (I purposefully do not call them customers) stop to tip their hats to Matty…

“Love the new Double Crust Apple (Grandma’s recipe)!”

“I’ve got an idea for your tee-shirts”

“This is my daughter I’ve been telling you about.”

I find myself in the center of conversation that is as random as living room talk. The expressions of appreciation are endless, and in family style, everyone politely interrupt our interview time.

Matty is the real deal, and the way he knows his guests and how they know him only proves of his sincerity. Nothing feels like an interruption, it’s more like becoming part of an extended family. I love this joint.

Matty, Rebecca and the ever changing list of daily specials.

“As a society, we need to look to our past more” Matty exposes as we resume our quite time.

His motives are heart-felt, “We all need to get in touch with our roots and honestly lean on them to make our decisions for the future.

“So I serve pie… it is one of the oldest foods, and in America it brings back memories.

I want everyone who comes in these doors to be happy, to have a moment of the past.”

For Matty, it is not about money, it’s about moment. He even works a day job as a machinist and has trusted the daily operations to loyal friends who share in his vision of community.

“In a way I am serving a piece of my family, and in that, the spirit of togetherness. That is why I do what I do.”

Thanks Matty! you have not only feed my appetite, you havfeeds my day.

SideWalk Ghosts / Interview 204: “Pay Attention”

I’m in the eye of a humanity storm, partially pushed by the requests of my friends to visit where I find myself this afternoon, and more realistically as a result of a business meeting that I just concluded at an office directly across from Mann’s Chinese Theatre.

That’s correct… I’m on Hollywood boulevard, lane of sidewalk stars and walls of world travelers. It’s a surreal place, definitely a land fluctuating with light and darkness. Families and singles from all over the world mingle with local flavor, some of which in inviting and some that is foreboding.

I confess, I usually avoid this boulevard of static stars and lost dreams. Its rhythm is unsettling and its pulse can be dizzying. Yet, to pass on journaling an experience would be a disservice to my claim of everyone is of worth. Even the dark citizens of a Hollywood disillusioned.

“Why do I start so dark?” you ask.

I have to; it is the only way to set the stage for the sheer contrast of the ever-shifting residents of this relic of a Hollywood past.

Settling at a chair on the corner of Orange and Hollywood, I pause to absorb the pace. The history is rich, on the South West corner, the Hollywood Roosevelt, home of the first academy awards and the haunting place of the ghost of Marilyn Monroe.

To the North and just slightly East of the Roosevelt is Mann’s (Historically Grumman’s) Chinese Theatre, the concrete shrine of imbedded body print since the inception of stardom.

These two alone stand as an iconic evidence of an era gone by. And although enduring the test of time, there exterior has become in a way, polluted. Not by the travelers desiring to get a glimpse of the past glamour, but by the onslaught of commercialism and vice; vice that hits at the very core of the spirit of the street.

And as I sit, observing the happenings I am stricken uncomfortable in what I partake. Know that as I write this, my heart is filled with compassion and void of judgment, yet it would be dishonest of me to hold back my feelings; feelings that I’m reframing into an outlook of acceptance and hope for those who are trapped (for whatever reason) in the depths of a dark energy that is palpable.

Take for example the superhero look-alike I approach with the 365 questions. To respect their boundaries, I will refrain from identifying them. Humble at first, and with a listening ear my superhero stranger, absorbs the 365 message.

“That’s cool,” they reply, “But you really! don’t wan to publish what I have to say. It’s way too dark!”

“Try me?” I ask… furthering, “Everyone is of value and deserves to be heard, and we all have something to say.”

Every Mother F—– in the world needs to be killed… Starting with all the Mother F—— in Los Angeles, Tell the world that, don’t say I said that, it would be bad for business.”

“Richard! why did you throw that at us? I have kids that love the characters on The Boulevard. “

Like I said, I had to. It is a prime example of the result of a dehumanized population. I am completely speculating, but somehow life has dealt a rough hand to my costumed friend, and my heart aches from hearing such a painful and angry response.

What is surreal is the contrast of the street, the shoulder-to-shoulder contact that I am experiencing with not only my hardened masked friends, but also the smiling faces of children from foreign lands. The crowd is deafening.

All around is activity; hands placed in George Clooney’s concrete shrine, the smile of a thin Tom Cruise, and the pamphlets of dinners done cheap. I must escape this wonderland of noise and visual attack!

Past the roof chopped busses of tourism I groggily sway, focusing on the happy faces of tourists not yet demystified. I stumble to Hollywood and Highland, where upon the flashing approval of the green LED walker, I cross the street to the lesser crowds of the Southern side of this starred river of traffic. Here the sidewalks are much calmer and the volume of solicitation diminished.

My senses become overloaded and with in the moment decision, “To seek the peaceful.” It must exist, and time has proven to me that in all situations it can be found.

Back West I slowly stride, and with the lowering of my ringing ears and overloaded brain, I begin to regain my composure in seeing mankind. Here and there another movie character passes by, and with a head nod I welcome them. Some reply, others don’t; it’ all good, at least I threw it.

The atmosphere is thick with diverse languages, German, Italian, Hebrew are but a few of the tongues flowing around my route. Cameras point in every direction, even down as I cross paths with a touring teen as she clicks a downward snapshot of a paved star… Tom Cruise, your now immortalized in the photo album of a fans memory.

Past Orange I progress, and as the crowd thins yet again, I am drawn to a quite man who is sitting un-noticeably painting, palm tree behind him and poised on a small folding chair.

Stopping, I observe his work, “What are you painting?” I inquire.

With pleasant and non-assuming pause this stranger replies, “Hollywood boulevard. Someone else just asked, but they said they could not see it, do you?” He shifts his art to my view for my approval.

The work is in progress and rough, but I can see the foundation of the street emerging. “Yea… I see it, it’s rough and I know it is the base for where you are going.”

My stranger is becoming my friend, “Exactly!” He smilingly responds. And with his smile… peace has found me.

Tom shows me one of his favorite paintings, The Cesar Chavez bridge

“Where are you from?” I interact.

“Philadelphia.

I teach engineering at Penn State and am here for two weeks working with the Huntington Library in examining their newly acquired collection of 19th century engineering documents. It kind of aligns with a project I am working on.

I paint for relaxation, and as soon as that bus blocking my view leaves I finish this painting.” He again smiles.

“I’m Richard, nice to meet you, may I invite you to be part of a Blog project I’m working on (I go on to explain 365)?”

“I see no harm in that, I’m Tom, good to meet you Richard.”

Tom is a very interesting man with an amazing outlook on life and society.

“The secret to all is the ability to just listen and look. And I’m just beginning to learn how to look,” he launches.

In a way Tom speaks in parables:

“The people who do pay attention are usually the people to talk to or listen to.”

“Shut off the part of you that says do this or do that, just allow yourself to pay attention.”

Pay attention hits me with resonance, and at the exact incidence of this Tom parable, I accept a friendly smile from a chauffeur who has been sharing space with us a he patiently waits for his fare.

“I’m Richard, what’s your name?” I inquire of this unknown friend of united geography.

“You look like royalty,” I visualize in noticing the grace of countenance from my car driving acquaintance of the moment.

His guarded shoulders loosen, “I’m George, I migrated here from Armenia many years ago. I you are right… I come from a wealthy family. We had to leave because of political reasons.”

He begins to tell Tom and I of his upbringing, his trails and the wisdoms he has learned about society in meeting many different types of people while working as a chauffeur.

“You can tell a lot about a person at first sight, I always know what kind of person is entering my car from the way they say hello, and there are a lot of good people out there.” George shares.

This is crazy good, this whole pass it on thing is happening right before my eyes, even when George’s fare arrives I witness him showing them the 365 card, that only minutes ago, I presented to him.

On this funny little square, on this edgy avenue, the 365 message goes forward in affecting Tom, George, his five fares and myself. Eight individual lives influenced, and hopefully for a better outlook on humanity.

In the eye of this storm of Hollywood distraction, we have found a fountain of unity; a fountain that Tom intuitively has promoted with his very mention ofPaying Attention.”

Even his pointing it out, prompted me to reach out to George. And following this direction, led us all to a greater conversation. How spectacular is that!

The bus pulls away as George and his fare’s drive of, and with unobstructed horizon, it is time to let Tom complete his artwork.

I ask my final questions of the future.

Tom answers in two parts.

For the short-term:
“Increased isolation and alienation.”

For the long-term:
“Some day we will come to our senses… maybe before the total destruction of the planet… maybe not…. and maybe that makes me an optimist; I’m OK with that.”

SideWalk Ghosts / Interview 203: “We Fix Furniture?”

Up Sherman Way I hike, another from my doorstep to friend day. And after my running out of auto fuel yesterday, it is a fresh relief to be safe commuting upon water-powered footsteps.

I’ve heard many times, and from many people, that Los Angeles is an isolated city. Not like New York, London, Tokyo or Shanghai where people on the streets are more engaged and aware of each other; and having spent time in all four cities, a premise that I can definitely understand.

For many years I have bought into this theory, sadly bagging on my own place of living. It’s strange how we can always see the grass greener on the other side of the pond. And even though we may be standing on fertile soil, at times, we choose to look at the neighbor’s garden rather than to look at the soil beneath our very own feet.

May I be brash in proposing a concept, no matter where the grass is… it is still grass. With this premise, we are left with two choices, 1) we can nurture it and help it to grow; or, 2) we can look upon the grass on the hill, wishing our grass would green as it, and in peering away form our own turf, we passively let it die.

Sure I can make a list a meter long of the reasons why my city is less than others. I can even group the culture as a whole or dream of greener pastures. But what positive impact is that to the land, that for whatever reason, is where I find myself inhabiting.

Several entries ago I researched the population of the San Fernando Valley: 1.7 million people, all individuals, all with their own stories, and all with their uniquely personal set of dreams, wishes, and situations.

I’ve written of my findings that even though the expanse of the globes populous is vast, that from the very act of looking at the faces of the society around us, the wide streets may narrow and the faces become clearer. Bottom line, in a wonderful way I am creating my own community and it is accepting me into its arms.

So I walk today, to the East up Sherman Way, no schedule, no pre-planned agenda and more importantly, no “this city is closed off” attitude. I have to clarify one point; I promise that I am not looking at the world with rose-colored glasses, just working on experimenting with an adjusted perspective.

I admit the planet has some terrible things going within its orbit; atrocities that test the very soul of mankind, at times dropping us in bent knees of tears and anger. Even this morning, during my struggle to see the good in the world, I read of several horrible murders, some of which were committed in the name of righteousness, or motivated by handed down hatred towards differing beliefs.

In admitting this, my intent is deliberate, to relieve all of us from the bondage of the pain associated with broken optimism and bolstering us into the reality of world events and wicked acts… disappointments that can snuff out the greatest of positive outlooks.

Yet in the paths of the oncoming of great darkness, we at times find ourselves in the companionship of fellows. And it is in these moments that we can assume there is hope for what is in store for us. Like I said, it’s all grass.

So here I am, strolling on the concrete sidewalks of grey yard that zoom under accepting the strides of my sneakers, chin up, eyes open to my community and continuing my experiment of the acknowledging head nod.

As expected, many look away… “Don’t look at the hatted dude (me), he’s dark and un-trustable.” But here is the wonderment… Not all are repelled by my gesture in this the city of spread out isolation. Many accept my gesture… Some even verbalize a “Hello…,” “Good Day…” or other reciprocating acknowledgments.

My community is shrinking, and it is fascinating to look back at the evolution of my life in owning my own personal witness that humanity is in the eyes of the beholder.

It gets better as I begin to realize that many of whom I am greeting are not first time passing’s, some are familiar, and as I recognize them, they too recognize me. Five of them are people who even know of my blog or have been featured.

I am sincere in saying that I have zero idea of where 365 is taking us… Still don’t, but one thing is becoming clearer and clearer every day, community is an outward manifestation from an inward desire. And, at the anniversary of hitting my 900th stranger talked to mark, I am learning that no matter who, for most, some form of community is a real dream for everyone.

A point that is never-ending in slamming me in the face, every time I wander my neck of the woods or journey beyond its borders.

Now, before I introduce you to today’s friend, I have to clarify that I’d be a hypocrite to say I know all cultures. That would be an incredible pompous and self-promotion claim. But I’m no babe in the woods either. My career has blessed me to have been able to travel to many continents, mingling within the cultures of Asia, Europe, Mexico, Canada and many parts of the United States.

The lesson learned is one of empathy in doing my best to blend in along side of these world citizens. Some have embraced me; others have scorned me, justifiably saying, “You have no idea of my life!”

So I walk on, face up, desiring to know the Streets of Angels this day. Good and bad, healthy and ill, happy and sad.

Spring is in the air this week, and with the bright sun burning my neck via its piercing rays, I seek a shelter.

One shady dwelling emerges, an antique store invitingly titled, “Old Friends.”

In a way, it reflects a truth having briefly met, its owner, Alan, a few weeks earlier during a brief antique browsing outing with my better half. Even then I asked him if he would be willing to contribute to 365, but he graciously declined, “I’m not certain what I would say, maybe another time.”

I lock his response into my mind as we departed his store that day. Strangely several days later, we again ran into Alan miles from his store, during a visit to a local hamburger haunt at 10:00pm. 1.7 million people in my area; the odds of a chance meeting are a little more than a coincidence. We again share hellos and I promise to visit him on a later day. We exchange nods and return to our lives.

Here I am, walking, neck on fire, head sweating into the brim of my fedora, “Now is the day,” my inner voice directs… I follow.

A simple, “How are you, may I interview you today?” I extend.

“You caught me on a bad day, I have a delivery I need to do…” Yet after a few minutes of friendly chat Alan opens in sharing a few thoughts and a little of his life.

Our time is very limited, about ten minutes or thereabouts, but the depths of what we discuss is empowering.

We talk of aging parents and of the issues of aiding them into the later years. “It’s hard, I am now getting my parents into an assisted living center.”

Having a healthy, but aging mum of my own, I empathize with Alan in sharing a few of my experiences. The worries, guilty feelings, and remorse for times changed. But in formally interviewing Alan, what I partake of is a man who is all about family and taking care of his responsibilities; something that I highly value and admire in a society where so many set the elderly aside.

“I worry about what is to come for us, my mom has some retirement, but with the state of the economy, I’m not so comfortable there will be anything for us when we are ready to retire.

“Times are tough, and most people are selfish, and it makes sense, we have to think of our families first,” Alan shares.

We discuss this point for some time and conclude in a philosophy, “’We need to do whatever it takes to secure safety, security and a future for our families, but in doing so the question is, ‘Do we do sacrifice our integrity to society?’”

I’ll leave it at that.

Alan is a good man, twenty years in building his business and a commitment to doing the right thing.

The sign on your door say, “We fix furniture.”

Alan, Perhaps today you have fixed more than that.

Thanks for the shade from the sun my old new friend.