Project3-365

SideWalk Ghosts / Interview 247: “The Student of Paz (Peace)”

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“’You can interview me but I want to remain anonymous, just call me ‘The Student of Paz (peace).’” And in respect to my new found friend, we’ll honor his wishes in calling him “The Student” from here on.

Outside Casey’s Tavern we meet and united we stand for thirty-minutes of meaningful conversation.

Until tonight, The Student was an unknown shadow in the streets, and after approaching him as he took a breath of fresh air walk from the tavern, I am happy to say that The Student is no longer a stranger to me.

It matters not that I do not know a first or given name, what matters is that I have met another valuable human being… and a man who has something of worth to share with us all.

The Student and I warm up in giving up a little history about ourselves: Two diversely different people, both of whom have had their own unique upbringing, life experiences and earned opinions. But two people who, non-the-less, find a link to each other. That link… “Humility.”

The Student presents the topic well, “Modern man thinks he is wide-awake, with his third eye open and wise to the world. But the wiser he thinks he is, the more insane he looks in the mirror of reason.”

I’m telling you, with this statement I am evoked to thought– The Student is now the teacher. And with his spontaneous blast of improvisation, he has elevated my mind in feeling as if I have just been part in witnessing a bizarre street revelation.

“The wiser he thinks he is, the more insane he looks in the mirror of reason.”

Reason being the key, The Student opens the doors to the next level, “It’s all about self-reflection… you have to know yourself… and not be an asshole.”

I’m inspired, yet a smile still comes to my face as I share a gut laugh with The Student in his choice of asshole as a descriptor.

“Dude, your word is perfect!” I chuckle as I inform him of how prevalent asshole has been in many of my interviews over the last few weeks.

Readers, I don’t make this stuff up, it just happens, and for what ever reason, 365 has an ebbing and flowing life of it’s own. Its been quiet an experience following it and I am convinced it still has a lot in store for us.

And although the asshole label can sound a little derogatory, it holds a beautiful meaning this evening. The Student elaborates, “We have to respect each other… but also need to learn to be a good judge of character…

…To not tiptoe through the tulips; but to watch out for the landmines.

I came from a big family. Grew up with a lot of kids around me. I saw a lot of mistakes as well as made a few of my own. I learned from what I saw and did.

What is important is that we have to use common sense… and be wary to take caution. Like my mom used to say, ‘Wear your sweater!’”

The Student makes a prediction, “If things keep up the way they are going… we are going to eventually become so numb. Especially if we listen to our politicians… they are like car salesmen, trying to sell the dream.

Jim Jones did that with Jonestown and created his blind following. Look what happened to his followers.

“People have to come together and learn to trust who is trustworthy, but in living we have to be wary.” The Student submits.

The debate has risen.Do we tiptoe through the tulips of life, burying our heads in the sands of denial, judgment or isolation; or do we reach out with trust. And as we do, do we allow ourselves to be aware of what is going on in the world?

Perhaps the landmines are self-inflicted, perhaps not. But in the end… can we look into the mirror and see a reflection we like, or better yet… love?

“Modern man thinks he is wide-awake, with his third eye open and wise. But the wiser he thinks he is, the more insane he looks in the mirror of reason.” The Student testifies.

And tonight, on this dimly lit sidewalk, I have taken part in a discussion of epic proportion. A conference of humility, awareness and of commitment.

It matters not that The Student and I have conducted our mini summit in the most unlikely of places. Humanity is in the heart. It cannot be built into the walls of a church, or poured into the foundation of a town hall. Nor can it be worn as a garment or sold as a commodity. It can only be earned through time and soft heartedness. It is the peace that opens our eyes in the morning, and the music that rocks us to sleep at night.

As mentioned by The Student, “It’s all about self-reflection… you have to know yourself.”

Self-reflection, even soulful self-reflection, then becomes the motivator to leading us on a course of greater reason.

Shall we never forget, “We are all in this thing together!”

SideWalk Ghosts / Interview 234: Pappy

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“I used to have no remorse for anybody. I’d do anything, anytime… and with no questions… They called me suicide.

I’m not that person anymore,” Pappy introduces himself to me as he exposes the reason for his change of life, “You have to faith in god.”

An x-rider from a serious bike gang, Pappy openly spends a few hours with me today as I run into him outside of a local grocery store.

“I was not a good man and have done a lot of things in my life that I regret. But now my life is very different. I will never go back to the way I was. And I am on the streets to protect people.”

Pappy tell me of his rebirth to society, “’I remember leaving San Francisco, (he is referring to San Quentin) and coming home to Canoga Park (he even went to the same high school as my wife, played football there).

I had two hundred dollars in my pocket and that was it. As many ex-cons do, I could have found a room for the night, got a few beers and started the next day with nothing. Instead I went to my parole officer. He greeted me with, ‘I thought you’d never make it!’”

Pappy tells me of the doubt that his parole officer had about his release. He even admits to breaking his parole on three occasions. Yet in this admission, Pappy also talks of his growth. “I committed to change my life. I got out of the gang and began the work to change my life. It was hard, but I did it.”

Pappy tells me of his battle with relapses to past behaviors and of the way he felt when he was in the depths of what he calls, “My days of no remorse.”

“I never want to feel that way again,” Pappy reminiscently expresses. A stark contrast to the tattooed tears he bears under eyes. And empowering his street earned wisdom is a tremendous spirit of empathy that veils the very atmosphere around him.

Pappy has made countless bad choices, something that he has no hesitations in discussing. “I made a lot of mistakes in life that put me in Arizona State Penitentiary for seventeen years and San Quentin for another two.”

What is remarkable is the passionate focus Pappy carries in his revitalized life quest for doing whatever he can to help those around him.

He tells me of a story. “’A few years ago I needed to make a phone call and I had no money. I asked a man in a white shirt and tie if he had a quarter to spare. He walked past me as if I was invisible. A year later I was walking down the same street and I ran into the same man again. This time he was dirty, scared and homeless. I recognized him, and he recognized me. At first he did not approach me, so I asked him if he was alright. ‘I’m hungry and don’t know where I will get food, he said. I showed him where to eat and gave him five bucks. I carried no anger for the way he treated me the first time I met him. I was more concerned for his safety.’”

Pappy shares other accounts of his change of perspective away from self and towards others. Accounts that are far too many to write. But I can paraphrase as a whole. Bottom line… most of the local stores, police, fire stations and his community of homeless know Pappy well. In Pappy’s words, “They used to fear me, now they are my friends.”

Friends who have helped to shelter, feed, warm and watch out for Pappy since realizing that he is a changed man.

As verified in quoting his parole officer, who when Pappy completed his final parole time said, “When I first met you, I was pretty sure you would not make it, you proved me wrong.”

Pappy takes only partial credit for his accomplishment in returning to society. “I could not have done it on my own, first I give credit to God, but I really need to much give credit to pastor John, he saved me.

When the pastor first met me, I was not living the way I knew I needed to live. Pastor John never judged me, he never worried about what I would do, and with no questions asked, he reached out to me, trusting me to work as security for his church, door keys and all.”

A trust that to this day Pappy is committed to value in never breaking.

“I no longer care for myself only…” Pappy testifies, “…and even if you treat me wrong, I’m still going to treat you with respect.”

The feeling I get as I speak with Pappy is just as he states. Even standing in the fading light of his churches parking lot (we have since taken a walk from our grocery store meeting place) there is not a second that I feel in harms path. Quite the opposite actually, for I am absolutely positive my back is being watched. Pappy is just that kind of guy as evidenced by the caring waves from the cars of departing members of the congregation.

Pappy proclaims of his relationship with God, “Everything I think… he knows.

This is the first time in my life I have had peace. You see… for most of my life I was looking for acceptance anywhere I could get it. But now I realize that what I was really looking for was love.

I know that God loves me, and because of that, I want to do the best I can to love others.”

And it is this love, as well as Pappy’s regained respect for others, that has led him on the path to forgiveness, to himself, for others and an active voice in his sincere desire to be forgiven.

I’m OK living on the streets. I have a car (earned $1,600 dollars to purchase it by collecting cans) and my dog. For now, that is good enough for me. It’s a roof over my head and I count my blessings.

“I do not fear any longer, when I hear a siren behind me I don’t jump. They aren’t after me. And that feels good,” Pappy radiates.

“The world is basically going down the drain,” Pappy soberly councils. “The rich get richer, the poor get poorer and the sick… sicker. The homeless need to look out for each other, and that is why I am here.

Pappy is an iconic example of man’s ability for life change. A life changed away from crime, vice and selfishness. And a man who has earned the chops in understanding what he must do to continue the works he has committed his life to.

He leaves us with a quote as he walks me home in the darkness of the night, “Trust Only God… and never let you guard down.”

Pappy, we’ll talk again… my friend.

SideWalk Ghosts / Interview 232: “A Guide To All That Is Good”

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Every year there is an American tradition that has happened since the dawn of modern education… That tradition: The High School Prom.

A night where young men rehearse they’re gentlemanly conduct (they better) as young ladies are escorted to a fairy tail evening (we pray) in their practice of social graces.

And behind every elegantly dressed teen, there is a mother, or a father, or other mixtures of family dynamics.

Tonight is that very night, and I find myself smack dab in the center of activity in gathering with a special group of families; whom as a group have decided to give their kids a grand start to their prom memory.

Around me are twenty-two of the most beautifully and handsomely dressed kids, all coming together at the home of one of my most respected and long time friend, Tom (not pictured), the coordinator of tonight’s bus limousine prom start.

I’ve got to tell you a little about Tom, it’s relevant, for his persona does lead to the meeting of today’s stranger turned friend, whom I’ll tell you about in the next minutes.

Tom is a spiritual man. A great example of living a life committed to family values, and a life that is passionately centered in a real love for community. I use the word love intentionally, and in choosing it, I assure you that I understand the depths of its meaning. If ever I have met a man who exemplifies the purest of benevolence towards his fellow human… it is Tom.

Tom is one of 365’s constant fans. Not that he has the time to read every entry to it’s fullest, but his patronage is greater than that of solely reading it’s narrative. He believes in the project. So to receive an introduction from him is a charge to listen.

“Do you know Marilene?” he inquires as we chaperone tonight’s gathering moment in photographing and bidding our have fun’s to our troupe of glowing young couples.

“If not… you have to meet her… she is an amazing woman.” Tom directs.

So as the bus pulls away and the majority of parents have departed, I take time to introduce myself, and 365, to Marilene.

Tom calls Marilene amazing; I title her “A guide to all that is good.”

“There is always a tomorrow. To me it’s not worth stressing too much,” Marilene shares in her native French accent.

“I have learned that from experience. I’m a worrier at heart. Something that was part of my life from the start, growing up with a dad who was very negative and worried about everything.

But after time… I realized that is not a healthy way to live.”

Advice that I am sure many of us have similar experiences to reference. We all have our own set of histories from youth. Some dark… some bright, but all part of the evolution of who we are today.

Yet, Marilene does not cite any blame or contempt in her outlook. To quote, “I have hope for everything.”

And it is this hope that has healed her from the unexpected loss of her husband when he passed away only a short ten years ago.

“How many kids do you have?” I ask.

“Four… and they are great!” Marilene joyfully reacts.

“We have a lot of love in our house and they help me stay young.”

In my travels I have met many single parents, both men and women, all of whom are doing their best to raise balanced children.

I cannot even fathom single-handedly raising my one child, and hearing that Marilene is caring for four teens by herself is a feat the gets the fullest of my respect and admiration.

There is a question that is becoming a regular inquiry. A question that not one of my single parenting friends has avoided, “What advice do you have for other single parents?”

Without hesitation, and bearing the most positively infectious countenance of peace and strength, Marilene responds, “Be close to your kids… Talk to them… And never forget that you are a team!

Even when they are teens, I promise that they do listen… and they do understand. Even when you think they are not.”

We shift gears toward to future, and in expected positive form Marilene formats her views using a blend of poignant reality and ingratiating optimism, “The idea of a global world is something that I see coming.

We have to help countries that are having troubles, but what’s hard about it is that we can’t change people.

Maybe in a hundred years, people will look at each other differently. It’s going to be a slow change… but one that will happen.”

Marilene, we take heed to you council, thanks for chatting with us this evening.

SideWalk Ghosts / Interview 228: “Laugh, Think and Cry”

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She says as she walks by me with a dismissive and antagonistic look, as if I am non-human and transparent, “Your a photographer… that’s nice.” And this is only the front end of a barrage of knee buckling and similarly harsh rejections. Then there’s the guy on the bike, “A photographer! Hah! I’m sorry! The world sucks that’s all I have to say, I’m not interested in sharing my thoughts (Well he kind of did).”

I lose count of the “Leave me alone camera guy” jousts and upon the most subtle brush off from the couple walking hand in hand, “Cool… But later dude,” I almost resign my efforts in this neighborhood.

I look at my watch in contemplating relocating to another street. But with the reality of the need to pick my daughter up from school in only fifteen minutes, it is not prudent for me to leave the area. Subsequently, with my emotional fibers exposed, and my nerves a little shaken, I reset my determination in making a friend in this location… and on this stroll.

And even though the rejections have been ceaseless and I’m slightly numbed by the apparent judgments that I feel have been fired at me, I let go of my insecurities to stay on track.

Up and down the block I repeat my path, challenging myself to at least say hello to all who dare to keep their chin up on this cloudy day. As I do, I fight off the sadness that just moments ago overcame me from coming across so many abrasive get out of my face gestures.

Yet, it is this very sadness that lifts me up in belief that for as many unapproachable people there are in the world, there are just as many, if not more, who are willing to reach out. The odds have proven this fact to me; I’ve met far too many people who share a more optimistic point of view. So I walk on, acknowledging everyone in my route, dismissals and all.

Forty-five minutes have clicked by and as I stated earlier, it’s only minutes before my child finishes school for the day. There is not much time left, and upon spotting one last earphone-wearing commuter of public sidewalk, I decide to look beyond his music appreciation and throw myself upon the court of Doug.

Doug silences his music to hear what I have to say, and with an accommodating grin he joins us with one condition, “I’ve got seven minutes, I have to pick my kid up from school. If we can do it in that time, I’m in.”

We jump right to the point, “If you could share any wisdom, advice or council with the world what would you say?”

Without hesitation Doug paraphrases a quote from late basketball coach of legend, Jim Valvano, “Every day you should do three things, laugh, think and cry.”

I did a Google search for Coach Valvano, his quote is very impactful when you put into perspective of where and when he said it. Per Wikipedia, “’Jim Valvano died of Cancer and on March 3, 1993, shortly before his death, he spoke at the first ESPY Awards, presented by ESPN. While accepting the inaugural Arthur Ashe Courage and Humanitarian Award, and as he announced the creation of The V Foundation for Cancer Research, an organization dedicated to finding a cure for cancer. He introduced the Foundation’s motto ‘Don’t Give Up . . . Don’t Ever Give Up.’”

Here are Coach Valvano’s words from that day, “To me, there are three things we all should do every day. We should do this every day of our lives. Number one is laugh. You should laugh every day. Number two is think. You should spend some time in thought. And number three is, you should have your emotions moved to tears, could be happiness or joy. But think about it. If you laugh, you think, and you cry, that’s a full day. That’s a heck of a day. You do that seven days a week, you’re going to have something special.”

“I do my best to live my life this way,” Doug mirrors in speaking of Jim Salzano’s example.

“The Future…?” Doug ponders, “…we are going to go through a lot of growing pains, and in the end, we will all be in a better place.

I think there is going to be even more of a global economy. I won’t live to see it, but my grandchildren will.

It won’t matter what country you live in… it will be a one-world type thing.

I remember when I was in school and the Soviet Union fell, people thought that would never happen… but it did.

The old school dictators are dying off, and a new generation is growing. And they want a different life.

And even thought the political powers still try to keep the information from us, they can’t anymore.”

Doug’s outlook on the future rings with resonance, and after speaking with over one thousand people since September 9, 2011, I have to let you know that this sentiment is unanimously shared by many, especially within the eighteen to twenty-five year old age group… the literal foundation of our future leaders.

Let us hope that these reformers of the future stay true to course, and avail of corruption as they step up to do as they may. I’m counting on it; like Doug, not for myself… but for the future of my kid.

Even though I have been rejected much this day, it has been worth it. For in the seven minutes Doug has convened with me, my optimism has been restored, and my perspective regarding the good in people has been refreshed.

In quoting legend Jim Salzano, Doug exemplifies the words of a compassionate leader.

“Everyday we need to laugh, think and cry,” Doug passes to us.

And in the hour past I feel as if I have experienced all. I’ve welled up at the tone of unnecessarily harsh rejections, thought about my child’s future and smiled with a new friend in hope for a greatly united people.

We agree that a big contributor to what is to come is in the hands of the young men and young women of today… Many of whom I have spoken with first hand over the last 227 days, and many of whom are on the right path. In publishing this, I ask all twenty-five and under to do us proud! The future is in your hands!

Doug, thank you for quoting coach Salzano and for your positive outlook towards a smaller much more connected planet.

Talk tomorrow, friends!

SideWalk Ghosts / Interview 219: “We Have To… Or Everything Will Be Gone”

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“When I was a kid people where concerned about the oceans and natural resources. We were taught about nature, the importance of the animals on the earth and how we needed to be careful to not allow any species to become extinct.”

At forty years young, basketball player and hobbyist on-line sneaker seller Chris is an advocate for progressive thinking.

A disciplined athlete he lives by the creed of coaching legend John Wooden, “Do not let what you cannot do interfere with what you can do.”

A mantra that Chris explains is a big part of his life.

“I’ve worked for ten years at the same company, overall it’s been pretty good, but last year it was bought-out by a large corporation that does not fully understand our product. We went from 500 employees to 30. Since then it has been a little more difficult. I like our product and what I do, so I have adapted. You have to focus on what you can do, not the problem.”

Chris goes on with his own philosophy of inspiration, “We need to ask ourselves, what are we going to do?”

“What are we going to do?” Chris challenges.

It is a matter of thought, yet; I am curious in wondering what the result would be if we all changed it from the reflective (?) to the active (!)… “What are we going to do!”

We have had many discussions regarding the power possible by one individual. The simple acts or change of perspectives that all of us have the ability to undertake. I remember a while back when a couple of our friends said, “We’d rather see constant works of kindness from many single individuals than that of one giant organization;” or, Ben (Day 174), who at five was shot and almost died via an act of racial hatred. A kid who now at eighteen says, “I have no anger or hatred towards the man who shot me. I have to forgive and live my life with a more positive perspective. If I don’t, I too carry forward the problem of hatred.”

These two references alone are cause for the call to action Chris has brought to our attention… so what are we going to do?

For me, my simple act is to keep reaching out in sharing what I can with you. In turn, I ask you to continue passing it on. No matter what the situation. For as brought to attention by our 365 friends of the last 218 days, we have much to share with each other.

In this voice of solidarity shall we lift up our voices, our deeds and open our social networks to expand upon the wisdom of our life weary and reborn friend of day fifteen, Mark, who said­, “Be good and do good.”

My friend J.C. and I approach Chris as he is taking a few photos of the sneakers he is selling today. What at first bonds us is the camaraderie of both having cameras in hand.

But what really brought us into conversation is the simple fact that we did not ignore the situation.

Here J.C and I are walking and we simply come across Chris as he is reviewing the self-portraits he has just finished. It would have been easy to just wander by.

Instead we choose to say a friendly hello, adding, “What are you shooting?”

It seems, hello, has become the topic of the week. But I can’t think of a more powerful statement to connect us as a people, well maybe, I apologize (another big topic in itself).

J.C and I could have chosen to walk by, ignoring a possibility of making a friend. And many a time I make just that decision. Life is fast, and responsibilities are many. Yet, in the pauses between the storm of life, what I am slowly learning is this, The world is filled with amazing people, all of whom have something to say… and the majority share a desire for a better society.

Chris, tells me of his life experience. “It’s difficult living in Los Angeles, it’s hard to trust people. It’s not like it was when I was a kid.”

Being the sports fan that he is, Chris uses a sports analogy to support his point. “It’s hard for me to even wear my San Francisco baseball cap. I’m a fan, but if I wear it on the streets, I get attacked.”

He states a case study, “It blew me away when the Lakers won the championship. Everyone went crazy and burned things. That’s out of control. People do not value each other the way they should.

So, I’ve had to learn to live my life and do my thing.”

Our conversation turns sober; “It doesn’t look so bright for the kids nowadays…” Chris notes.

“…The tech is great, but also, it is an obstacle and a distraction. And with the other things going on, things like terrorism, gangs and violent world news, it’s even harder to get our kids to focus on the future.”

Chris references the youth, however, I take his concern to heart, and after cresting the over 900 count in the people I have approached since the inception of 365, married their advice to my own fifty-years of life experience, I take liberty to expand on his statement in including all ages.

Chris finalizes, “We are so distracted that it is hard think about our future, the people, our resources and our planet…

…We have to… or everything will be gone.”

Chris, thank you for taking the chance in speaking with us today. You’re words do matter, and we are all taking them to heart.

I’m sure our paths, or should I say, our sneakers, will pass again my friend.

SideWalk Ghosts / Interview 218: “We Need To Show More Open Hand Than The Fist”

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“Look at people for who they are inside, and respect everyone. Not for what they look like on the outside…and don’t judge by clothing, job or looks.”

The day is ending, and even though the weather is screaming of an on-coming rainstorm. I’ve been in Culver City all day, casting for a project we are shooting next week. I’m tired and wanting to find an area vibrant with activity, decide to hit the coastal streets of Santa Monica to meet our friend for the day.

The sun is setting fast and as I hurry to park my car, I ready myself for an athletic event in making a foot dash for the crowds of the streets below. Its one of those days where for whatever reason the universe transpires against me. Turns out that slip number one zillion, on  top-level eight, is the only open space to be found for parking. I take it as I accept the fact of meeting someone on a dark street (the sun is just hitting the horizon and will soon be gone).

I lean on my precision driving skills, or lack there of, and in a last dash veer in at G-forces that are perhaps a little excessive. Seemed safe to do, the lot is empty of people after all, or at least I think. Getting out of the car I realize that I am not alone in my speed racing moment. Walking towards me is a man who seems to be in a rush of his own.

I think, “Stay out of his path, he looks like is has someplace to go… and in a hurry?”

But in a spark of thought, that line of reason is extinguished as I reach out with a simple, “Hello.”

The hello leads to a kind gesture returned, and that kind gesture leads to a brief conversation. I invite him to 365.

Please welcome stranger now friend, refrigeration repairman and author of today’s opening quote, Gaetaio.

A transplant to United States from Sicily, Gaetiao speaks of his reasoning for coming to America. “I’m a mafia refuge.” He smilingly begins.

“A mafia refuge?” I inquire.

Gaetiao smiles again as he elaborates, “I’m just kidding about the mafia… but it is very difficult to get a job in Sicily unless you know someone. That is what I mean by my joke. Every day I was working very hard for a better life… and I did not like the rules. If you needed a job, it was about who you knew… not what you could do… or who you were. And in a way, I guess it is a little of the same everywhere. They change the music, but the rhythm is still the same.”

“What about the future Gaetiao?” I expand.

With grace he replies, “The most important thing that I want to tell the world is to respect everyone, the planet and everything. Nobody talks for real peace, everyone tries to fix the problem. But the way they are doing it is creating more problems. We need to show more open hand than the fist.”

“Are we getting close to being finished?” Gaetiao asks, “I have to finish a job I’m working on.”

Ah, now I understand his rushed pace through the parking structure.

“All wrapped up, we just need to grab a few snap shots and you’re free.” I respond.

The light is kind to us as it shines its last rays of the afternoon… perfect for a quick photo shoot. Mother Nature is apparently watching our back in making it easy to conclude our interview with three final minutes of picture-taking, and Gaetiao is off to work.

Gaetiao, thanks for the warm hand shake my friend. And I’m with you, “We need to show more open hand than the fist.”

SideWalk Ghosts / Interview 216: “It’s OK To Be Bored Every Once In A While”

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“It’s OK to be bored every once in a while.

For some people… being bored is a sin, but if you look at it as a space where you can shut down stimulus so your mind can work… it’s really a place where you can come up with fresh ideas.

Boredom is not pleasant… there are external things to combat it… or you can simply let your mind wander.

If you accept it, it can become a garden where you can grow new ideas.”

At first I am a little confused by this council provided to us by Kiev born friend of the day, Dmitry.

In a considerate and heavily accented Russian voice, Dmitry is calm and calculated in his words as he sets the stage for our curbside discussion in a fashionable Beverly Hills shopping and dining district.

He is a wonderful anomalies to the general tone of the public that is usual to the 90210 destination; part one of the reason why his appearance strikes me to reach out to him.

Part two, he is reading as he walks. On a street where so many are caught up in the happenings of browsing from store window to store window, it is quite curious as to who this Jimmy Hendrix attired and haired man is.

And a Russian student of law, studying at the prestigious Pepperdine University of Law was farthest from my mind.

“I came to the United States thirty-three years ago, back when the Soviet Union was still Communist.

My family was allowed to leave during the 2nd wave of the great Jewish migration.

We were helped by the State of Israel and other organizations in the Untied States. 250 thousand were allowed to leave. Eventually all of my family was allowed to leave, I was ten years old.

It was a very interesting experience, a week in Vienna, a couple of months in Rome being processed, and then to a Chicago family who sponsored us. A year after that we came to Los Angeles.”

I have to ask, “Was the persecution apparent?”

“’I did not experience any direct Anti-Semitism; I was shielded by my teachers, parents and grandparents.

But I do remember my father telling me that, as a Jew, if I was to get any kind of education, I would have to be a perfect student and get all A’s. I carried that with me for a lot of years. The thought that in order to get accepted, or to be successful, I would have to do everything perfect… Perfect… Because I was a Jew.

I’ve since then let go of the idea of perfection. I can best explain it with an expression I heard from a film editor, ‘Perfect is the enemy of the good.’

It was said in the context of art, but it can apply to any human endeavor.

It’s like if you are trying to make a good painting, maybe even a great painting, if the focus in on perfection… the painting will most likely be inferior.

This is true to life in general; politics, business and relationships… definitely true for relationships.’”

Dmitry elaborates on his philosophy of boredom, “With TV, Satellite, Social Media… iPads, iPhones, it’s easy to be entertained every minute of the day. But do we actually listen for new ideas, poems, business ideas, songs or anything else.”

“Do we actually listen?” I pause.

Earlier Dmitry suggests, “…there are external things to combat it…”

What business is he actually doing this day…? I do not know. Is he stimulated by the storefronts…? I don’t think so… Is he bored…? I’m uncertain…

Yet whether bored or not, Dmitry is engaged in his mind-set of shutting out external stimulus as he strides with novel in hand… reading and carefully navigating the sidewalk.

“…or you can simply let your mind wander…” he says.

Perhaps Dmitry is seemingly disengaged from society with face in book? Or is he living as he preaches in simply letting his mind wander?

“…If you accept it, it can become a garden where you can grow new ideas.”

In the way Dmitry quickly and pleasantly converses with me, the answer is uncovered. Dmitry is putting something into his mind.

“’Boredom is one of those dumb words like kingdom, freedom or abandon, I know abandon is a ‘don’ rather than a ‘dom’ end of word,'” he explains.

“Words ending in dom are dominion words, referring to a place or a state to inhabit. If you shut yourself of from boredom, you are reducing your space to roam, or graze. It is a space where you can plant and develop ideas.”

Dmitry is confident thinker, with a mind tempered for careful examination of humanity and a heartfelt desire to better the planet.

“The number one challenge for the future is to find a source of energy that does not rely on limited resources. We had the Manhattan projects Nuclear Fission and they managed to do it in three years.

We need another Manhattan project for Fusion… it is the alternate source.

Fusion not Fission, Fission’s byproduct is radioactive, Fusion’s byproduct is Helium.”

He lengthens his progressive point of view towards what is to come, “There will be more of us. We have to ethically and morally commit that is a good thing. To not do so would be genocide”

SideWalk Ghosts / Interview 213: “It Will Make You A Stronger Person”

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I spent a bunch of time trying to be witty, insightful and entertaining in my writing today. Draft after draft I’ve written, and the more I try to weave my thoughts into the words of today’s friend, Michelle, the more I even bore myself.

Draft four has just hit the circular file, and in tossing it, I realize the Michelle has hit the ball out of the park with her comments. So in respect for you and to fully give credit to whom the applause is due, I present you the direct words of Michelle.

“Live life intelligently, and acknowledge that mistakes are bound to happen. Take them as lessons and learn from them. Don’t beat yourself up in accepting that nothing and no one is perfect… even yourself.

And, the more we forgive ourselves as well as others, the more emotionally aware we are as a person. The goal being internal peace… I know it’s hard to reach, but I believe it is attainable.

It’s all about how we live our lives and the way we treat others. There are so many levels of understanding towards people, and if we live life with an active awareness, living it and being aware, we will have more personal satisfaction while inspiring the people around us.

We can choose to bring peace to any situation or place. And if we do, we are stronger for other people. And that will also make us better people.”

Society in general is on a downward spiral. Sadly, I have to say that it is becoming too self-absorbed. I understand that we need to take care of ourselves. And I realize that in being responsible, some of life has to be that way.

It’s OK that everyone is an individual; it is supposed to be like that. But too many are becoming selfish and narcissistic; not paying attention to the bigger issues that are greater than themselves.

Everything happens for a reason, even the bad. You have to grow from it… learn from it… It’s all part of a bigger picture in your journey through life, and it is part of your personal experience… Embrace it… Accept it… It will make you a stronger person.”

Michelle… home run kiddo!

SideWalk Ghosts / Interview 179: Listen and Not Look

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It is 8:00pm on a very chilly and foggy weeknight, the Promenade is buzzing with people of character and great diversity. From street performers to locals to tourists the boulevard is just beginning to energize in readying itself for the nights progression.

And after 178 days of wandering for strangers I see it as a heaven-sent change of pace to be circulating in a highly bustling area, The Third Street Promenade, a Santa Monica central point for shopping and dining.

Even though the evening air is brisk and filled with the moisture of coastal dew, the atmosphere is warmed by the ebbing movement of man and sound; so when from amidst the wandering chaos appears to me a voice, “Sir, are you a registered voter?” I halt my quest for stranger in opening a 365 hand of friendship to an unknown solicitor as he works to acquire signatures to support upcoming voting initiatives. A very tough thing to do in the 2012’s. Times where so many of us are continually bombarded with unrequested sales calls, spam and the ongoing assault of door knocks and excuse me’s. Plus, in my own journeys I have developed a soft spot for anyone who has the courage to reach out to strangers with any legitimate request.

“What’s your name?” I ask as I am brought up to speed on issues ranging from the FDA to education to the environment.

“Josh,” my new friend answers.

He and I decide to grab a seat by a nearby planter to review the list of ballot items he has on his clipboard, as well as engage in a conversation of life and personal histories.

Josh has had a hard life… felony convictions, alcoholism and past of pain and violence. His perspective is dark, but as he speaks the importance of family and of protecting the children rises to the top of his priorities.

“We have to protect our kids,” Josh boldly postures. He has a zero tolerance rule when it comes to protecting the innocence and virtue of the child. Again boldly and obviously from the heart, “I advise us all to be vigilantes against child molesters.”

Josh and I speak of recovery from addiction and the pain of overcoming its evil grasps. “I’ve seen demons,” he tells me. Words that I’ve heard often from many of my 365 friends who are in the depths of addictions or on the path to recovery.

I ask Josh if he has any words of wisdom for us. “Can I answer that with a question?” he requests.

“This is your time Josh, you can answer any way you like,” I inform.

He advises us to consider, “If you had three wishes, what would they be?”

“Do you want to hear mine?” says Josh.

And his answer is peacefully dark.  Peacefully Dark? That’s a very strange set of words to link… “I know. But they truly describe the safe feeling that emits from Josh.”

Yet, I am saddened by his dreams, “I’d like to know if there is a way to die a three-way death. A death of not only my body, but a death of my spirit and soul. I don’t trust that I’m going to heaven, and I don’t even believe in heaven or hell. I believe we have a Creator, but no one really knows what will happen when we die… and I don’t want to be part of if.”

Now, I have no idea of the pains Josh has lived through, nor do I judge him for his outlook. Whatever has brought him to this place in life is not mine to carry. What is important is to do whatever I can to understand him as a person.

My perspective on the thought of where we go after death? I have hope for where we are going and nothing in this life happens for naught. Be it tragic, or be it glorious… all experiences in some way or another can bring us light and move us forward.

We have spoken often of tolerance and compassion, and of learning to accept each other for who we are and to do what we can to pass it on.

I tell Josh of some of my past dark times. Times that were not quite as deep as Josh’s history, but dark enough to at least help us to see a little commonality.

“I’ve had times that I’ve felt similar to you, but I promise if you hang on, a light will appear,” I reveal to Josh, and now you know that too.

I cannot say for certain that we wholly agreed, but non-the-less, Josh and I find a union in a momentary voice of friendship.

Josh, stretches his shirt, “This is my family; my grandson David, my step daughter Ester, my daughter Anna and sons Elijah and Erik.”

The picture becomes clearer. True… Josh has led a difficult life, but in his soberness of thought for the children and through his uncertainty of what is to come after this life, I see a man who is searching for a better world and questioning his own place in it.

Apparently the world has hit Josh hard in some way. However, he is here. Raising children, sober and doing the best he can to support them.

Can any of us who have not walked in the footsteps of Josh accurately say how we would cope in a life after prison and addiction?

This is a cruel world at times. The news shows that to us every day. In the media and life we witness some of the most hideous atrocities. But at the end of the day, we also see many great acts of kindness and growth in humanity.

My take away from meeting Josh… He has humanity and is a survivor with a purpose… and that purpose is his children.

Any man who proudly bears the names of his kids on a tee-shirt and hold the strongest concern for their future is good in my book.

Per his hope for what is to come… Josh, we wish you a life full of peace and may the darkness dissipate.

Josh is a provider, eight bucks a signature… I sign them all.

SideWalk Ghosts / Interview 174: Young Survivors

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Two nights ago you were with me at Cloud 9 Hookah Lounge as we spent a short time with Karnnitha, a young woman with a true purpose in life. She shared with us her insights and desire to reach out in helping the women of the world, enlightening us to the troubles facing the many unfortunate young women.

We talked of the greatness in all of us and today we will pick that discussion back up in meeting our new friends of day 174.

But before I tell you about them, I have a confession; I did not meet them today. I actually met them as I was leaving Cloud 9 after my interview of Karnnitha.

Picture me as a 365 billboard, everywhere I go handing out cards in promoting its purpose to all I pass by. So as I leave Cloud 9, I take a second to say hello to a group enjoying an evening of Hookah chill.

Well… a second turns into twenty minutes. Fascinating conversation and by the glow in faces of my unknown, and young acquaintances, is a proclamation of their great depth and experience. I cannot pass on extending them an offer to contribute to 365. They light up and we arrange a meeting place, Rite Aid in the Calabasas commons shopping center. A strange place to meet, but it is there call… so I go with it.

Two days pass and I find myself standing outside of our agreed upon Rite Aid. Its cold, and waiting in the parking lot, I stand in expectation of my friend’s arrival. When from behind me I hear, “Richard.” I turn and there they are, two unique and caring young adults, both obviously committed to their special friendship, readers please give welcome to survivors, Taylor and Ben.

You will understand what I mean by survivors as you read on.

I have to ask, “Why Rite Aid?”

“It’s our office, we have a place to sit in the back,” They laugh.

“The managers and everyone who works here knows us, its warm and they let us hang out. Sometimes they even feed us.”

That place to sit they talk of… the waiting area of the pharmacy. We even have a screen for privacy. At one point during beginning introductions the manager walks over, places his hand on the screen and firmly commands, “Why is this here!”

Ben fly’s off, “Because we need privacy!”

I’m caught a little off guard, and trying to lessen the uncomfortable situation, I try to diffuse, “Do you want me to take them outside?” I joke with what looks like a very annoyed store manager.

They all crack up. The joke is on me. These kids are special and the manager knows it. Seems I’ve been set up. Our manager friend replaces the screen and we begin a deeper conversation.

Taylor goes first in encouraging all, “Don’t give up, only the strong survive.”

Only the strong survive? A very bold opening statement from a very young mind.

I quickly discover that Taylor has earned the badges to own such a sentence.

“I was very rebellious, ran away at fourteen, I lied about my age, told them I was sixteen and got a job at a restaurant that paid under the table. From there I couched it at friends houses until one day I moved in at the house of a guy that I really liked. That was a big mistake. The police came and arrested everyone. I got sent to one of those places in Utah for a year and a half. I hated it, but it saved me. While I was there I wrote letters to my father, he was in too.”

I have to interrupt, “He was in too? Was you father incarcerated?”

“Yes,” Taylor tells me, “But our letters helped bring us together and motivated both of us to rebuild our lives.”

Under sixteen and rebuilding her life? Think about that for a moment…

Taylor is a unique young woman, she is a blend of radical independence mixed with a charming and heart-felt attachment to the importance of family.

“Man! It doesn’t matter where you are in the world, if you have family, they will always be there. You have to have good family values.”

Even though Taylor and her father have lived, and learned, via the school of hard knocks, they both have a special connection, one that is apparent in Taylor’s words.

So what is core to Taylor’s rebellion? Believe it or not it is a medical condition, ADHD. In telling me of it Taylor speaks with the maturity of a women twice her age and has a regard for its influence on her life. Yet she looks at life with optimism and vigor, “You only have one life to live, if you are given the opportunity to do it, take it, and you have to be yourself.”

With the inclusion of Ben, we talk about being yourself. Taylor talks of life and what she sees in other kids her age, “People need to find happiness from within, not from the world around them. So many kids are unhappy. That’s why they go to school with guns or overdose, because they are unhappy.”

Ben opens up, “I’d love to see us all get alone. I see too many people hating and fighting because of religion and skin color. And I believe in second chances. If someone messes us, we have to give them a second chance.”

“Easy for a kid to say…” the pessimistic may shout. But I tell you, of all the people I know, Ben is the one who has the right to make this claim.

“When I was five I was shot because I am Jewish. I got hit by two bullets, one in the leg and the other in the abdomen. I lost fifty percent of my blood and almost died.

The guy who shot me was a member of the Arian Nation Movement and came here from Idaho to make his point. He walked into our Jewish Center and opened up… shot five of us. Then he left and shot and killed a Filipino man at another location. It was a big deal and in the national news. I remember meeting President Clinton, my mom speaking to Ted Kennedy, and a lot of other famous people stood by us. But that was a while ago. I’m past it and hold no hatred for what happened to me.”

By the way, Ben is also diagnosed with ADHD, part of the reason for the special bond of friendship he and Taylor share.

Ben has been brutally attacked by the hate of the world and Taylor has walked the paths of the lost, but both together prove the wonderment of the healing power of friendship.

A gentle giant, Ben speaks optimistically of the world, “I’d like to see a future where more people are sharing. People are selfish and greedy and that gets them in a lot of trouble.

And also, I’d like to see more real friendships.”

Taylor has this infections smile, and with it she praises Ben’s view of friendships with a loving, “Amen!”

These two young adults have seen life through dark forests, and even now they are not fully clear of the thistles.

Taylor talks of young womanhood and charges the new generating to shape up, “’The next generation of guys need to treat their women better. It’s not just the way they act, that Cholo thing; it’s the media too. They are messed up and trained to look at women as less than. They look at us as ‘Ho’s’ and ‘Bitches.’ What’s even sadder is the women are buying into it too. I know this first hand, I used to live that way and know how it feels. Girls need to step up and the guys need to respect them.’”

It is remarkable to meet two young people with the depth of life perspective, and experience, as both Ben and Taylor possess. In listening to them, I am acutely aware of the conditions the youth of America endure. Both of these special kids show astonishing stamina, and show powerful desire to overcome their obstacles.

Ben is in the fight for focus, and Taylor is battling to find her way through a history of vice and rebellion. But in both of these outstanding emerging individuals I see one common voice. A voice standing strong in a unified call to action.

As I mentioned, “There is greatness in all of us,” and Ben and Taylor are seeking theirs.

Ben, Taylor, you are of a noble generation, may you grow to be all that you can, and be able to do your part in making the planet a better place, we are counting on you.

Now go live your greatest dreams, my young friend!