portraiture

SideWalk Ghosts / Interview 40: The Hang Out Zone – Demystified

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“It’s impossible to go through life without problems,” and at only 20, Aaron has had his share. But this young man is remarkable.

I’ll start this entry with a few Aaron quotes. They really do set the stage for who he is, and the experience credentials he has earned early in his years – some self-inflicted, others by situation.

If you are a regular reader, the following is a common question to you by this time. If you are new, I ask everyone, “Do you have any words of wisdom you would like to share with my readership.”

I ask Aaron this question early on in our interview, even as we are shooting photos.


Actual photos taken during the moment Aaron responds to my questions

After a moment of thoughtful pause (I can tell he is thinking deeply regarding his response), he replies, “Everybody feels the way you do; what you do with it is up to you. You can either handle it, or you can be a victim.”

A very deep thought. I question him back, “Do you mean everybody CAN feel the way you do?” He is specific, “No, there is no can in it.”

We chat about it for a while. I realize what he is talking about are core emotions: love, fear, envy, joy, shame, empowerment and on and on. He relates them to life in general, linking all to the second part of his statement, “What you do with it is up to you. You can either handle it, or you can be a victim.” What he is talking about is self-respect and empowerment. In this he has earned a self-managing diploma received from the University of Hard Knocks.

Even though he is short in years, there is a palpable feeling of comfort radiating from him. I wish you could meet him and experience it yourself.

His story starts as one we have heard many times; troubled high school years, falling away from home, and a list of general rebellions. But what is unique about Aaron is his early willingness to change, not just for himself but to truly help his friends follow in his footsteps.

Here is how I know about him (notice, I have not yet told you how I met him).

Just two houses down from mine is the hang-out zone for a group of about fifteen regulars. Teen and twenty-something boys and girls loitering at all hours of the day. Usually tossing cigarette butts into our yards, and at times speaking loud obscenities. Really puts a damper on allowing my 8-year-old girl spending time in the front yard.

I even know a few of them, mostly good kids (or as least I’ve led myself to believe so). But still, they are there day after day, at hours most would either be in school or working.

Tonight, as I set out for a 365 stroll, I see Aaron, sitting by himself in the hang-out-zone. In past, I most likely would have not approached him, choosing to be tolerant yet unengaged. However, 365 is shifting my outlook by allowing me this thought, “If I have a question, or do not know the individual who prompts said question to my mind, I will not ignore facing them straight on.”

That said, I do not hesitate in approaching Aaron, and am fully glad I do so.

We’ve all heard actions are stronger than words. So what is he doing about life? His philosophies are deep and reflective, but is he acting on them?

Per his service to his friends? I facilitate the answers with a question, “Why is he sitting alone at the hang out zone?” A couple answers:

ONE:
Having not hung out for some time, “I wanted to check in on Jacob” (the kid living at the hang out house). One who Aaron is pushing to get his G.E.D. He states this: “I tell Jacob, If I can do it, so can you.”

TWO (and a little heavy):
He has just come from counseling one of the group, a kid living close by. How was he helping? Talking him out of  suicide attempt. This in itself would fold most twenty-year-olds. I’m thinking he ended up here to simply decompress.

Per his self work:

First, Aaron has made up for his high school follies in flying colors and is currently attending Pierce College, taking all his GEs with a few music electives. He cares about every course he is enrolled in and is pulling great grades, even Sociology. On top of that, he has applied for grants and financial aid to further his education and is serious about finishing with a degree in music.

Coming from a line of musicians, this is not a pipe dream. “I eat, live, breath music.” Supported by and following in his father’s footsteps, it is a well thought-out career decision, and he wants to do it right. Currently he is in the process of applying to The Musicians Institute, one of the more credible institutions in Los Angeles. A proven starting point for many successful artists.

On a closing note, I ask him about his plugs. He seems somewhat frustrated by them. “It was a thing I did a long time ago, but now they are holding me back. Too many people judge me because of them, and even my tattoos.” He tells me,  “They were the width of soda cans and very offensive to many employers. I’m working hard to find a good job and need to lose them.” For the past 6 months he has been getting them to recede, going from smaller to smaller ring. Now just a touch larger than quarters, he is almost there. The last step is a surgical procedure that costs $500. He is saving his money.

We talk into the evening, this is a good kid. I realize that all of our photos are somewhat serious or moments of captured conversation. I suggest one final portrait. The light is gone, but thanks to Apple and the illumination from my trusty iPad, we make one final photograph. Almost a smile, but with a one second exposure, I think we did a pretty good job.

Hey Aaron, see you at the hang-out. And thanks for your willingness to get the rest of the gang ashtrays for the cig butts.

Talk again my friend!

Almost forgot, “Where do you see yourself in ten years?”

Answer:
“To be a working studio / touring musician and to be happily married.”

“I have a feeling you will succeed.”

SideWalk Ghosts / Interview 39: Call To Action In Helping A Neighbor

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For the last 38 meetings I have taken long notes; there is no need for that in interviewing my latest new friend Miguel. His story hits home in a very poignant way.

The economy has affected us all hard over the last years. Miguel is a testament to the depth of its effect on hard-working citizens.

He lives not far from my home, just a few blocks North of my street. Has a great work ethic, and pays his fair share of taxes. Yet he has not worked a paying day in over a year.

Not by any lack of effort or weakness of ability, mind you, rather by the forces of a down turning economy. A welder by trade, he was laid off of a well-paying position– one that not only supported him, but contributed to the security of his single mother and six siblings. Since that time he has applied for endless employment opportunities with no results. A situation I’m sure many of us have found ourselves experiencing on one level or another.

Miguel is one of an endless list of hard-working Americans, not looking for a handout, but a respectable job.

As we chat, I can see the concern in his face. He talks to me about the pain of unemployment, and its effects on him: Weight gain, a short bought of depression and the stress brought on by the possibly of loosing his home. All the while expressing his love for his mother and pride in his siblings.

Miguel is a good man!

After returning from an unsuccessful ninety minute driving and walking 365 search, I run into him only one hundred yards from my front door step. I’m sitting on the curb, not sure where to go and he finds me as he is returning from playing basketball with his brothers. We strike up a conversation, instantly I know I need to publish his story of tenacity.

We start off by talking about is his loss of over one hundred pounds, weight he rapidly gained at the start of an unemployment depression. A depression he rapidly overcame, realizing it would get him nowhere. He credits physical activity as a major contributor in keeping him grounded and on path to maintaining his health as well as a positive mental perspective. I’m very touched and impressed, knowing many people who battle with the same issues without success.

Miguel stands strong, committed, unshaken and humbly willing to share his story.

He tells me, “I’ll never fall that far into that depth of depression again,” going on to explain how that moment turned out to be a great motivator fo him as to where he does not want to be.

We brainstorm ideas for employment and I realize that I might have a lead or two for him — something I am planning on acting upon tomorrow, after all, “He is my neighbor.”

It is hard for him to answer my questions, but I can sense the weight of his desire to provide for his family is first and foremost on his agenda. No selfish words are in his vocabulary, again, only concern for his mother and siblings. You see, his father left when he was eight, making him the patriarch of the family. And please don’t get me wrong, this is no poor me story, quite the opposite. There is no guile or victim in Miguel’s tone. Even going on to state, “I am wanting to find my father and talk with him, to see who he is.”

He talks of his dream, simple and to the point, “Work to kick-in, so we can keep the house, everything, and I can help my family.”

I’m telling you, Miguel is a gentle giant, with one point-of-view: Family First.

His compassion is evident as he states his wishes for my readers, “Hope you don’t go through this.”

CALL TO ACTION:
The oldest of his siblings, Miguel carries an evident concern for his family. His greatest desire is to provide. Miguel is one in thousands of good people bearing the heavy burdens of unemployment. Not by choice, but by circumstance. He is not looking for charity. All he is seeking is a secure job where he can use his talents to provide for a family.

My challenge, if anyone has a lead on an opening for a highly experienced welder in the Greater Los Angeles Area, please let me know? I’ll pass it on. It’s the least we can do for our neighbor.

Miguel, keep the faith brother!

SideWalk Ghosts / Interview 38: “Some Make It A Bigger Deal Than It Has To Be”

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Jenna – Actress, Humorist, Humble Teacher

I start today at Vista Ford, home of my tragic leasing experience some fifteen years ago. For some reason I am inspired to visit the establishment once again. Don’t know why, but my gut is telling me it is where I need to start my 365 quest today.

I get this internal message loud and clear as I’m traveling East with my friend and driver for the afternoon, Danny. Vista five miles behind us, I question the prompting. Thinking why turn around? Backtrack a route already traveled? Makes no sense?

Committed as I am to 365, there is only one answer; “turn around, re-calculate and head West,” back to the gut inspired Ford dealership.

Back, past ten minutes of already traveled street we find ourselves wandering the car lot, “no one in sight.” A couple more minutes pass, our anticipated salesman approaches, politely sporting a white shirt and extroverted smile.

Not bagging on his effort, I feel no inspiration at all to photograph him. However, honest to the 365 effort, I know that I must invite him. As I assume, he declines the offer, leaving us with zero prospects in sight. It is a very hot summer afternoon. I am not surprised the area is void of people.

We withdraw to the shade of the car to continue our search for today’s 365 friend.

Two mile more to the West, Dan suggests a pit stop in a local shopping center, something about the suggestion feels right. “I wonder if the Vista Ford pit stop is an inspiration to pilot us in a new direction.” A romantic thought, and one that I will own.

Intermission:

Literally, as I am writing this entry, I’m looking across the table at six of my closest friends. Accompanied by their children, it’s Sunday family and social night. I’ve taken my break for the day and with dinner over, have settled into an evening of games, conversation and writing while we play. Everyone is getting used to me working on this blog. So even though they are with me in the journey, all harassment is fair game.

That said, It would be short-changing my friends to not publish their remarks. My friend Pam kicks in, “If you’re dissing us, you better write about me.” She challenges me, “I’m going to start my own blog on a leap year. So I’ll beat you with 366 days… eat that!”

She has started the “give it to Radstone train” and I gladly sport my target face. The whole group steps up to play and are all on a roll in tossing amazingly well though out jabs at me. It’s like a roast and I’m the guest of honor. I keep my focus and through jest after jest dart hitting me like bullets, I do not break stride. Words fly at me faster than I can record, none breaking my typing rhythm. I’m in keyboard nirvana.

Their effort is stellar. My following response is a tribute to their witty contributions of the evening; “zerberts to all and nose to the iPad for me.” I’m telling you, “I’m turning into a 365 writing machine.”

This verbal jousting barrage over, it’s karaoke time, a perfect jumping off point to take my leave in introducing you to today’ friend.

So with the haunting sounds of lounge music behind me, I ask you to welcome at center stage, our friend for the day: Jenna.

Danny and I stroll upon her chatting with friends outside of the Corner Club (a little sports bar) in Woodland Hills. The place is a touch out of my comfort zone, but there is a magnetic energy that inspires us to approach the group. As we arrive, we meet our first challenge, being able to tolerate the bantering from one member of the group. A friendly enough bloke who gives us a bit of a sarcastic hassle. It is obvious that he has no intentions of allowing us to photograph him. We allow him to state all of his input and he quietly retreats to the solace of the bar inside, leaving Jenna and I the privacy to talk.

At first I’m uncertain of where we will go in our conversation. Not knowing exactly how to relate, I jump right in with question #2, “Is there anything you would like to share with my readers?” That’s all it takes. Instantly Jenna and I are deep in discussion. She has a ton to say and all is very relevant. As always, now I know why I am here, at this place, at this time, standing with Jenna.

First off, Jenna has a sweet spirit about her. She begins her council by stating, “Life is tough for everybody, but some make it a bigger deal than it has to be. They forget about each other, overreact and disregard the fact that we are all in this life together.”

A struggling actor, Jenna has experienced the high and lows of being an artist. Yet she is highly optimistic, quoting as piece of advice she picked up from a Martin Scorsese interview, His father’s advice: “Nothing is more tragic than a wasted talent.”

She goes on to tell me that although this has been an incredibly difficult year, she has reached a time in her life where she is no longer fighting for control. And doing so has bought many new opportunities to her. She is honest with me in what is helping to pay her bills, a YouTube spoof on sex advise, telling me that although it is somewhat raunchy, she draws the line at nudity. She takes the hits when people call her a porn star, but that is farthest from her values. I know, for many the line is black and white on the topic. But Jenna is resolute that her show is a means to an end, and she will not compromise in full-scale pornography.

Her stance, “you can only lose your dignity once.” And for Jenna, pornography would be just that.

It is not our place to judge the intent of others. And after spending time chatting with Jenna, I am positive her point-of-view is of good rapport. And you will absolutely see why in a moment.

She comfortably states, “happiness is not about money or status, it’s about self-worth.” A theme that is becoming strong through line in 365. So how does a statement like this balance with smiling off the accusations of being a porn star.

Now I ask you to take off your first impression glasses and read on.

What really peaks my interest in Jenna is her dedication to the future of our youth. Specifically those with special needs. The catalyst for all of her efforts, and compromises, she has made in making income through her acting talents. And I’m sure you realize just how hard it is to survive in the entertainment jungle. Especially for the single folk.

For 18 years Jenna has dedicated her life to teaching special need children, specializing working with kid roughly eleven-years old. An age that somehow seems to fall through the cracks with many taking no interest. A point of view that most would not entertain from a person hanging out at a grungy sports bar. I take careful notes, noticing things like the healthy Peach Yogurt she is carrying, planning on eating it while her comrade’s down other more intoxication beverages.

We are interrupted mid interview, when politely she redirects an aggressive fellow, seemingly not wanting to have the topic at hand polluted by loud distractions.

She goes on to expand that what is important to her is being able to separate her acting decisions from her pursuits in helping special children to build healthy self-esteem. Encouraging them to work hard and not be lazy. When we talk of this aspect of her life, I see great pride and compassion in her continence as she states, “I want them to succeed.”

I can tell by the look on her face that her life has not been easy, and that she is a fighter. We speak of many more things. Too many to write in my allotted word count commitment. Even now I am close to 400 words over my targeted 1000 or less writing rule.

I do so with purpose.

Many of my entries have touched on the topic: “We cannot judge a book by its cover.”

This afternoon as I approached, even interrupted, a group of friends enjoying their weekend leisure, perhaps I am the one to be judged.

To again quote Jenna, “Life is tough for everybody, but some make it a bigger deal than it has to be. They forget about each other, overreact and disregard the fact that we are all in this life together.”

Words to ponder?!

SideWalk Ghosts / Interview 37: “Please Salute Our At Home Heroes”

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For those of you who don’t know what spinning is. Put this in your mind: One hour of high intensity peddling, ever-changing grades of resistance, high tempo music and a room full of riders pushing to burn calories. 500 to 800 calories to be exact. Add to that a drill sergeant barking motivation to you, and you have 50% of the picture.

The other 50% you can only get by attending a spinning class. No lie, it’s an extreme workout. I know, I teach it six times a week.

I end my class today, and as I prepare to leave, one of the clubs new instructors asks me for some advise on setting up the audio system. Takes us about fifteen minutes. I find out that not only is she a spinning instructor, but also a yoga power woman. Her smile is radiant and there is a something about her that beckons me to invite her to 365.

I show her the project and she tells me that she is not that interesting. I ensure her that she most likely has a personal story or wisdom to share. “I have seen it time after time in many of my past interviews.” Plus, there is something about her that tells me she has a very special message. So I leave the offer hanging in the air.

We focus back on setting the stereo, somewhere in the middle of audio check, the 365 mission becomes mutual.

Meet Anne, a remarkable woman… soon you will know just how remarkable.

Not wanting to distract her from her pre-class warm-up, I grab a few fun shot of her checking the bike. I’m telling you this girl is in amazing condition. I take first actions in photographing her before drill sergeant mode kicks in. She counters with a full-out standing sprint, smile on face… NO LIE, SMILE ON FACE! She’s not human, most mortals in the same situation would be grimacing as if being chased by a rabid badger.

Sprint over, it’s time for a grinding climb. With heavy resistance pressing back against her pedals, she comfortably relaxes her torso, and here we go, that motivating smile again. Oh the pain of it all! I think? Her class better watch out, they’ll be putty in her hands before they know it. And by the pace of her effort, will be putty on the floor by the end of class. What a way to burn calories, being smiled into submission. Even though I teach, I’ve got to take one of Anne’s classes. I need to be humbled.

Don’t get me wrong, it’s not all smiles in Anne’s class, that’s just her hook, once she has you, the real drill begins. Her comforting expressing magically changes as the class gains intensity, and at that point, you are totally in, nowhere to go except to complete your one hour of pain and exhilaration. And the best part, you want to!

But this is only the wrapping to Anne’s story. True, she is a poster child for fitness. But what is deeper than her physical ability is her devotion to country and husband.

You see, Anne is a military wife. One in thousands of unsung heroes.

It’s easy for us civilian folk to recognize the men and women in uniform. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve shook the hands of those who sacrifice so much to preserve our freedoms, and I ask you to please take moment of pause to thank them for their efforts.

Yet, in seeing our uniformed protectors, we are only seeing half the picture. For many of them the sacrifice is more than risking personal life and limb, they leave loving families behind as they serve. These unsung heroes are not always easily spotted and deserve as much praise as their far away spouses. They are not martyrs for loneliness, but promoters of freedom, joining their spouses with great courage and willingness to sacrifice all.

Unless you have served or have had a family member serve, there is no way you can completely understand this sacrifice. I thought I did, until today.

As Anne and I begin our interview, the phone rings, it’s her husband with news regarding his recent deployment. There is a dream on the horizon, a possible mission that would place him permanently in San Diego, giving them the chance to finally start a life under one roof. Bad news, the San Diego deployment may not happen.

The military life is one that changes in a moments notice. Although saddened, the spirit of Anne’s disappointment is content. I can hear the love and pride of husband in every word she shares.

My eyes tear ups as Anne talks, “I am so proud of my husband, he is always smiling and thinking of others. The most positive man I know. And when things are down, he is there to pick me up. I married a good man. I am blessed and honored to be with him.”

After hearing this, I will never view a military man or woman the same. Yes, they will still get my families applaud. But one thing is for certain, if they are wearing a wedding ring, I will not forget to say, “my prayers are with you and your family.“

God Bless, those who protect our freedoms, and their families who so selflessly support them.

I welcome your feedback on this post.

SideWalk Ghosts / Interview 36: It’s Like Sitting With Neighbors On A Summer Night.

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I drive to Bob’s Big Boy, home of more than great hamburgers. Seems that every Friday night it becomes the center of cool car nirvana.

I arrive 6sh, sun setting in the background. The scene is building; with cars, motorcycles, classic to muscle, arriving for the evenings festivities. Cliques of every kind are forming, as the pavement is slowly morphing from parking lot to showroom. Everywhere I look is chrome, perfect paint and automotive brawn. I’m loving this place.

I approach several people, engage in conversation with little success at first. A routine that I am becoming wholly familiar with. I take my hits with a stiff upper lip. Denial one, rejection two, lack of interest three, all words that I am growing accustomed to in my 365 day outreach. I now know that patience is key and I can twist no arms in finding my daily friends.

Thirty minutes into my car browsing and I meet husband and wife team, Tom and Judith. They are warm and welcoming, even offering me dinner when the Bob’s waitress arrives to take parking lot orders. I have to pass, knowing that Friday night dinner waits for me at home.

They grab me a chair and instantly we are in a neighborly conversation. It feels like I am sitting with long time friends. Both being self-employed for the majorities of our careers, we exchange business stories. But there is much more to our conversation than business commonalities.

We discuss the art of understanding and what it takes to be successfully married. As we chat, I can see the love and unity between them. Little unspoken things like Tom affectionately placing a fork in Judith’s salad, concerned that she enjoys her meal while it is fresh; their unified smiles in response to my questions, letting us all know that Judith is the spokesperson for the interview. In my eyes, incredibly considerate gestures, evidence of a happy and trusting relationship.

Per their truck, it is a one of a kind. Tom shows me a scrapbook documenting the history of its restoration. Photos showing its original heavily rusted state… a $300 dollar purchase he found corroding in a barn. Three years and $130,000 later, what Tom proudly shows is 455 cubic inches of powered eye candy. From bumper to bumper, the truck is perfect.

I’ve always wanted to restore a car of my own. And after chatting with Tom and Judith, I’m ready to start saving. Don’t think I can swing the $130K at the moment. But a man’s got to dream… doesn’t he?

“Friendships are important”
“Life is not about money or status”
“Exercise gratitude and patience”
“Appreciate your health”
“Be glad for every day”
“We all put our pants on one leg at a time”

All philosophies bestowed upon me by Tom and Judith this evening.

The sun has set. It’s time for me to return home to family. We wrap our conversation and as I depart Tom wishes me this:

“Be Good!”

Thanks Tom, pleasure meeting you and your gal. The truck is pretty cool too.

SideWalk Ghosts / Interview 35: A New Definition For “LOL”

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My daughter receiving the royal treatment at Wana’s.

Hair and nail day for the Radstone women and a chance for me to take five from the office.

For my haircut, the usual routine is a meeting with my wife, trusty number 2 blade length, and a an electric shaver. You see, mother nature has found a wonderful way to save us $60 bucks a month, less the start-up investment of a modified version of sheep shears.

So when my wife extends an invite to tag along to Wana’s Hair Studio, I gladly accept the offer to be part of ladies salon day out.

My definition of a beauty salon, “Take one part styling, mix it with one part social activity and top it off with 5 parts of psychological therapy.”

OK, let’s get honest here in this entry. It’s been a long day. Last night I stayed up way too late with my daughter and writing my 365 entry. And today, I’m paying the price. No disservice to today’s friend, Homyra, a very cool lady that I will be introducing to you soon.

But in sincerity to the 365 journey I’ve so willingly promised to you, I’m humbling up a little in this night’s entry to open my life a little further to you. So far my family has been with me. This evening we hit the first real bump. Not that they are non-accepting or lacking support of the project, they are 100% behind me. Rather, it’s a total emotional meltdown.

It’s not the wisest choice to keep a lovely, but moody eight-year-old up two hours past her bedtime; a mistake we are all paying for today. Wana’s was a highlight of the afternoon, however, since leaving the sanctuary of its walls, the day has slowly been unraveling. I have literally witnessed my beloved bride leave for several walks of parent time-out. As I write I am soothed my overly sugared-up little darling, very upset at the length of her chosen hair style.

She and I have just agreed to allow me the time to finish this entry and with my lovely wife now back in the house (from walk number ?#?), I do my best to settle my nerves so that I can give you my evenings entry.

As I have promised, no matter what, I will not let you down by not entering a daily blog. We have all vested too much effort to get to 35 days, and even though this night is not picture perfect, it would be a great disservice to not publish the  wisdom of today’s new friend.

So without any further delay (and venting over,) it’s time for me to fully and politely introduce you to Homyra.

I’m sitting in reception chair number one (at least that’s what I’m calling it), flipping through the monthly hair mags. As I reflect on the good old days (when I had hair to style), I take time to glimpse around the salon.

There is a buzz in the air. One that is a touch different from what I’ve felt at the swanky Beverly Hills salons I’ve done photo work for. I promise, I’m not bagging on Beverly Hills. I like the community and have many friends there – just this vibe is grabbing me today. Lots of upward smiles, lots of open conversations and not a single person is ignored or not involved in some activity other than the ritual of hair styling. Wana’s is a rocking place! More social than business of hair cutting.

The salon is run by three sisters, all long ago immigrants from Afghanistan. They got out before things got too bad. My friend of the day, Homyra, the youngest of the three, came to the states when she was four.

Happy and vibrant, she tells me of her challenges being the youngest of a somewhat traditional family. Yet even as we talk of such things, her sisters kick in, exclaiming supporting comments from across the room. This family is a blast. They agree and disagree with the same compassion and commitment of a charging bull. But there is no way to ignore either their quick sarcastic wit, or their loving unity.

I ask, “Is this the way it always is here?” With smile on their faces they all resoundingly agree, “YES!!” and back to business.

They tell me of a family vacation where eleven family members crammed into one Las Vegas hotel room. Sleeping sideways, on floors, emotions high and low. Their stories have my stomach cramping with laughter.

My take away? Homyra comes from a great and loving family. My eyes are opened to her culture and I’m a better person for being allowed in.

We laugh and invent a new definition for LOL. Our version: Loud, Obnoxious, Loving.

I’ve spent an hour in the eye of a beauty salon storm. A great staging for the evening I’m now experiencing at home now with my own utilization of the new definition of LOL.

Per Homyra’s counsel to the world, she leaves us with this:

“Live each day to the fullest. No regrets, life is short. Do things that excite you and try something scary'”

Words that in closing our chat, Homyra says, “I’m doing my best to live by my council.”

Hey check this out, my daughter just came into the room, kisses me on the head, and says, “Daddy, dinner is ready.”

Guess the storm has cleared.

FYI: I finished writing this entry hours ago. Had to take my family up on the dinner time. And yes, my girls are sound asleep.

Talk tomorrow friends!


Homyra sends me one of her favorite photos.

SideWalk Ghosts / Interview 34: Live, Life, Laughter

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Tonight I spend the evening with my daughter. We decide to take a 365 drive, not thinking of any route, just seeing who we run into.

We stop here and there to chat with a few people. Great conversations of community and purpose, but none are willing to step in front of the camera. Still, they express their interest in the project and give my the high-five to keep going. Encouragement is always welcome, so readers, please comment.

With over a month of 365 behind me, I’ve met some very interesting people. Yet, with eleven months to go, I’m not even close to completion.

You need to know that your feedback and referrals are so important to not only the 365 mission, but literally to my moral. Please don’t be shy, subscribe and give feedback.

Tonight we have been driving endlessly, looping through the Valley. Feeling a little road weary, we settle to rest at Woodland Hills Park.

As my daughter and I stroll through the park, I notice she is starting to buy into the spirit of 365. It’s really sweet being by her side, and her influence is guiding me at this point of the day.

She contributes with comments like, “Daddy, I’m not feeling that we should shoot the soccer players, how about trying to meet the people in the office?” Very in-tune and observant ideas for an 8-year old. I really love this kid. She is my hero.

I’m not going to lie to you. Even with the passion I have for 365, at times I do get stressed with it, and I’m feeling it this night. We’ve been roaming for over two hours, searching for approachable friends.

I can’t help but to think to myself, “what damage am I putting on my family, spending so much of our personal time with this project?”

Luckily, I have their blessing. Plus, I have to say, this project truly is maturing my family. I’m sure we’ll touch more on that topic as the year progresses.

So here I am, daughter in hand, wandering through Woodland Hills Park. I’m tired and getting a bit blurry eyed, when she sights a family sitting at a barely lit table, dimmed by lights blocked by surrounding trees.

Remember, her first words this evening as we entered the park are primarily a do not list. So when she turns to me and says, “I’ve got a good feeling, how about taking pictures of them?” I have to listen.

I confess, my first instinct is to not bother them. Something creepy about walking up out of the darkness of the trees, asking, “can I take your photo?” But there is no way I’m going to burst my daughters bubble. She is really wanting to contribute.

Respectfully I approach them, daughter by my side, hoping my first impression will be appreciated as the non-confrontational family man that I am. We begin a light conversation, and it’s then that I discover just how stressed I am from 33 days of 365 pressure, and just how in tune my lovely daughter is.

The second I extend the 365 invite to our new friends; Hope, June and their children, all eyes light up with enthusiasm… mixed with a touch of embarrassment. I assure them of my intent, give them an iPad tour of past blog entries and we are on the same page.

What we encounter is a most pleasant neighborly visit with two of the most down to earth people. It’s like family time at the park with new friends. My daughter is happily playing with their four children; Hope’s daughter (age 7) and son (age 9) and June’s daughter (age 7) and son (age 9). My kid fits right in at age 8.

I am overwhelmed by their grace and hospitality, even to the point of June buying me a bottle of water. Not something many of us would consider doing for an absolute stranger. It is at that moment I realize the reason I’m supposed to be here. I’m needing to give myself permission to back of a touch and smell the roses. Not only in relaxing my 365 intensity, but in life.

They speak with an appreciate the simple things of life perspective. Hearing it prompts me to consider my attitude in all that I do.

It is so easy to get so caught up in our successes, and even our failures, that we stop considering the most basic priorities. June and Hope radiate a quality of peaceful optimism. And the simple gesture of cold water to my daughter and I solidify our respect for their example.

We discuss work histories, stresses to successes, concluding that the glass is always at least half full. Looking at the smiles on their faces as we talk. I’m sure both of these special ladies hold this point-of-view close in their hearts.

Family first and friendship is the undertone I pick up as Hope tells me of her family dreams and support of June’s talents.

I’m told that June is a high honors college graduate with incredible artistic talent. June blushes as we go on to talk about her specialty, ceramics. I extend the offer to publish her artwork on this blog and look forward to her taking me up on the offer. Her dream being to one day have a gallery exhibition. If any of you out there are interested in seeing her ceramics, let me know?  I’m sure would love the affirmation.

They leave us with this advice.

“Don’t stress on wanting too much. Life is not about accumulating material possessions. It’s more about being grateful for what you have”

It’s almost midnight, time to stop writing and decompress.

Until Tomorrow.

SideWalk Ghosts / Interview 33: “Get Off Your Butt and Exercise!”

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It’s been an incredibly long day. Rise early, shoot SCE campaign, wrap day and the return last of unused supplies.

This evening I’m traveling with my friend, and crew member, Danny. Having finalized the unpacking of a rented van, we set path for home.

As we drive, Danny, knowing of my 365 projects, says! “Look there is someone riding a bike.”

My first reaction is to decline the sighting, leaning on my third commandment of 365, “Thou shalt not chase someone down!” I’ll tell you some other time of commandment one and two.

Ah! what the heck here they are now. Commandment one, “never bother a person while they are eating!” Commandment two, “do not approach someone at work if it looks like they will lose their job!”

Back to the story. A beat passes; seeing no other photo option on the horizons, the hour getting very late and with empty streets all around, I relent to my first instinct and loop around the block to investigate.

Picture us, two tired looking guys, in a cargo van, traveling a conservative middle class suburban neighborhood late in the evening. Somewhat suspect, isn’t it?

Of course it is. We look just like an abduction team. I’m preparing for a night of utter rejection, at least as long as we are in this ride.

On the horizon we spot our target. One man, one bike, two dogs and one very dark street. I slow the van to a mere roll and match his pace. The window down, I call out, “excuse me” expecting a strong, get lost!

I introduce myself, Danny and 365. As expected, he questions my intent and requests to see the blog. Thank you technology, I can answer right on the spot.

iPad in tow, I accommodate his request. Five minute later we are deep in conversation and again I find myself in the right place at the right time.

Please say hello to Mario and his two walking buddies, dogs Trojan (named after the horse, not the condoms) and Punky.

The street is extremely dark and we chat by light provided by Chevy. Mario has a rich history of overcoming life’s obstacles and proves to be yet another testament to life rebuilt.

A changed man, Mario holds no shame in sharing with us the fact that he is a past criminal, completing his parole in 2006. He states, “I’m keeping my head straight and never want to lose my freedom again.”

We find this out when Danny asks him, “what was your first thought when we drove up?” He answers, “I did not know if you were law enforcement. I have a criminal record.” What impresses me is the respect in his tone regarding the law. Very humble, accepting and peacefully confident. I see a man of experience, with no chip on his shoulder at all. Better than many I know with the cleanest of history.

He speaks with a profound and open countenance and we find out that his life is completely committed to helping others. Be it through his growing physical training business, Corona Workouts, (after all, a man has to make a living) or through the volunteer service he provides in sharing his story with local organizations and schools. He talks as a banner citizen, with enthusiasm for his future.

Both Danny and I are struck by the physical fitness of Mario as he reflects on his outlook regarding health.

“Physical exercise is the key to happiness, and those missing out on it are setting themselves up for problems.”

He goes on, “Too many people rely on drugs and fad diets, rather than just practicing good nutrition and physical activity,”

“Did you know, 2/3’s of all Americans are overweight,” a frightening fact, and one that motivates Mario to build his business.

He shares the importance of good food and balanced activity, and follows a one with nature point of view. So much so, that his life dream is to own an organic farm, where he can not only produce the finest of product, but educate the public in healthy living practices.

I am impressed with his perspective and example of a life turned. Mario is proof of the power of physical training and positive mind-set.

He leaves us with a few challenges and promises:

One (simple and to the point)
“Get off your butt and exercise!”

Two
“If you stay in shape, I promise good things will happen!” And he can back it up with his story.

Three:
“Keep your mind open!”

and Four (my favorite)
“Talk to your neighbors!”

Mario, Thanks for talking to us tonight!

Now I’m off to do my sit-ups!

Readers, get down and give me ten!

Talk tomorrow!

SideWalk Ghosts / Interview 32: “Every Person Is A Reflection”

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They say it take twenty-one days for something to become a habit. I propose it takes thirty-two days for something to become a magnet.

Tomorrow I shoot an SCE campaign. After one week away I had a lot of catch-up to do. My producer was out with a killer migraine, leaving a bunch of pre-shoot details in my hands. No worries, I’m more concerned about him than my day’s list of objectives. And knowing that things always work out, I roll-up my sleeves, readjust my schedule of priorities and hit the road.

First stop, Enterprise Rent a Car for a cargo van; it’s not ready – one hour behind. Second destination, tech check; traffic delays on way to location – one and a half hours behind. Third task, off to pick-up expendables – two hours down and not even to my list yet.

Here is the blessing. I walk into Out-of-Frame, a great little resource shop and the only place I can find the gatorboard we need for tomorrow’s shoot.

I’m greeted by Marie, one of the business owners. You guessed it… my intuition asks me to invite her to 365.

There is an instant connection, and not to be unkind to my producer (at home with a terrible headache), I am thankful to be picking-up the slack of his absence. He was meant to have the day off and I am certain I am in the right place at the right time.

Marie is a vibrant, intelligent businesswoman, with a past of building successful businesses. Well traveled and cultured, she is a breath of fresh air in an industry that can be hurried and impersonal.

The photo we take is a true reflection of her presence. It is not forced, rather, a picture of her as she is during our conversation.

We talk of human nature, yoga and share our thoughts of the world around us. I know, sounds metaphysical. I promise we are not “out there.” But on that note, Marie made an incredibly profound statement, “Every person is a reflection of who you are. We are all mirrors, and those you see are reflections of yourself.”

I know, a very heavy statement. My interpretation… We put ourselves in situations to be of influence to others (whether we choose to or not), and at many time are attracted to people, places, things and experiences that are reflective of our mental and spiritual self. Sort of a “what you see is what you get” theory. Adjusted the statement to, “what you do is who you are,” leads to, “who you are is who you’re with,” back to, “who you’re with is what you do.” Kind of deep… isn’t it!?

Take it our leave it, that’s how my mind works… and if you want to roll with my blog, you might just have to patronize me a little as you come on board.

An easier way to look at the above statements is this common phrase, “water somehow seems to seek its own level.” Kind of sums it up.

We have a great discussion. One that I know was supposed to happen and a testimony builder of the power of the 365 mission.

I’m certain I was directed to meet Marie.

There are so many wonderful people around us. I’m learning to not take anyone at face value. To literally step out of my comfort zone and be open in reaching out. It gets dicey at times, and more doors are slammed in my face than opened. Countless rejections followed by amazing 365 acceptances.

And all those who have stepped on board have made me a better person. I hope you as well.

My encounter with Marie was not by chance, I am sure of that. Michaelbrent (my producer), feel better my good friend, and thank you for giving me this day. Your absence has allowed me the opportunity to meet Marie, and I’m positive the encounter was meant to be in this blog.

A magnet philosophy is developing in my life. Good attracts good, and we must do all the good we can.

All I know is I can’t stop the momentum of 365. It’s part of me now, a moving train that I cannot stop and I’m just holing on for the ride.

The fact is, I am absolutely clueless as to where the journey is taking us. Yet there is a peace inside of me that tells me, it will be to a good place.

Hey! Did I say, Marie is a really smart business person and world traveler? Well, she is! And she has truthfully earned her badges through her faith, courage and one of the most optimistic perspectives I’ve found.

Marie, Thanks for coming on board. I wish you every success in the businesses you are building and sincerely give you a thumbs-up for your travel dreams. Mahalo Nui Loa (bear with me, I’m still coming down off my Hawaii high).

SideWalk Ghosts / Interview 31: Introducing Dr. D

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Hawaii flight on ground and legs back on Los Angeles soil, I take the Flyaway bus to Van Nuys. My usual airport strategy for getting home quickly… or so it usually goes.

As tonight has it, I wait 1 1/2 hours at the airport (suck), am rejected by all the people I approach, and share a 30 minutes bus excursion with equally interested people. “No worries, go with the flow,” I tell myself. “The right person will emerge at the right time.”

They say timing is everything and tonight proves the theory true. I’ve arrived at the bus terminal, a little late, but finally home. My wife and daughter pull up to grab me. I tell them I have not yet photographed my 365 friend. Off goes the car, and I’m firmly instructed to do something about it. Got to love a supportive family. We’ll see how they feel at 60 days, but I’ll count my blessings while I have them.

Here I am, Ucayali bearing dad (the gift I bought for my daughter) under arm, toting more equipment cases than a touring rock star. There is no way for me to get my gear to the car on my own. And now on my own (thank to the smiling harassment of my (now driving around the pick up zone) family, I enlist the aid of skycap Dartanian.

As I strike a conversation with him, I do notice his polite attitude and work ethic, but think not of approaching him. One of my rules is to not bother people at work, and it’s seems he is on shift.

I thank him for his service, tip the usual tip, $10 (2.50 per bag), hope you use the same math, and as he turns to walk away, off goes the 365 voice saying, “photograph him!” I self argue it, “he’s working, buses are still coming in, let him do his job.” But as the voice get louder, I submit to its influence.

I lay out the project, without hesitation he is in, his shift just ending. No joke, I did not question his schedule. It’s weird, after unsuccessfully approaching people all through this evening, in the blink of a second I’m in the right place with the right person. Somehow the voice knew he was ending his work day.

Looking back on all my 365 rejections today, even a harsh out of my face, straight forward “NO!” on the bus, I can identify with the feeling of those moments. All were lacking the 365 voice that I am experiencing now. It’ a super subtle prompting, and one that I am still working to understand.

Dartanian is very comfortable in front of the camera and we quickly get a few great portraits. My family is now settled in the car, and although completely behind the project, they are fading fast. Both Dartainal and I realize we are loosing them, as my wife’s heavy eyes begin to drop as she and my daughter wait patiently in the car.

I am impressed with his concern and ask what is he studying. He tells me, “I’m in my senior year, studying psychology at Cal State Northridge;” and that he plans to go into family counseling.” Perhaps we are a case study for him. He also tells me, “he is minoring in women’s anatomy.” Hey, give him a break, he’s a senior in college after all.

At 12pm, we sit for a few final questions. His message:

Life is good! Man! we keep hearing this, don’t we?

Tomorrow, I’m back at home. We’ll see who we meet.

Later Gators!