portraiture

There is a dividing line in my neighborhood, one that I have never prescribed too, politicked for, or taken notice of. But it is a boarder none-the-less.

We’ll call it the Farralone line, there are no guards, no patrols or even posted signs. Yet for some reason, it has become a discussed crossing line.

A line that in my opinion is a complete farce; a man created divide between two cultures, Anglo and Latino.

The border is a mere street, thirty or so feet wide, and a street that I welcomely cross on a daily basis.

And today, it is no surprise to me, while roller-skating with my kid, to meet two very gracious men, Dave (Not pictured) and his friend Fernando.

Both of who welcome me with open arms.

Dave tells me this of his observations regarding the two sides of the street. “You know how you can tell the difference between a Hispanic street and other streets? When people are home there is no place to park on a Hispanic street, on other streets, when people are home, the streets are empty.”

His point, the street he lives on is a living breathing community, obviously the reason that he and Fernando hanging out at day’s end.

At first glance, one might place an incorrect judgment on my neighborhood friends, sure, they have an edge to them, but is that cause for avoidance?

Dave is the least intimidating, sporting a drawn down baseball cap, and Fernando shaved head and tats are a little formidable, leading my daughter, to at first, suggest we pass on approaching them. But after a quick hello, we are both absolutely positive that these are fine men, and extend a reach out in saying greetings to our new, other side of the Farralone line, friends.

Dave’s full street comment strikes resonance with me. I’ve seen he and his neighbors playing street basketball on countless Saturdays, and have often vicariously listened to backyard music and celebration coming from the across the line.

Farralone, as I said is a farce border. A ridiculous and unfounded separation of persons, and I’m certain, a token example of the many boarders that somehow become self-imposed to many of us.

The Farralone border, then give’s us permission to reformat our notions of true community, and a calls us to re-tool our perceptions of the communities we live in.

For me, I love my street, it is a cultural melting pot, and cars on street or not, I’m here to stay.

So here we are, sun setting and enjoying another magnificent California afternoon, just talking in Dave’s front yard.

I ask Fernando to present his thoughts for you. “Never give up, it’s never too late,” so what if it is a comment that we have heard often. It is impactful in letting us all know one thing: We are not alone, in good times or in bad.

Never give up, it’s never too late; I’ve heard it from the poor, the rich, the lost and the empowered. It is universal, hearing it now in multiple languages. And with the admonitions of Fernando, its message carries on.

Unemployed for eighteen months, Fernando, a father of a two-year old son, Kobe (Named after Kobe Bryant of Lakers Fame), speaks of want for a better economy.

“It’s hard to find work, people judge me, stresses me because I’m willing to work hard.”

Of this stress, Fernando, reveals one of his other wishes for the future. I can tell it is half jest, half reality. Laughing, “I’d like to see more medical Marijuana stores;” a live discussion this week, with several interviews leaning towards the topic of substance abuse.

Dave puts me on the spot with this question, “What do you think of smoking?”

I do not condemn nor endorse anyone for their decisions, but do share that I feel it is a gateway to other harder drugs, something that I know from experience, having been a user in the 80’s. I express that I understand there are cases that are legit, medical reasons, certain mental conditions, even accept controlled social uses. But as a daily routine, I am questionable.

We sort of quietly agree to let the discussion drop and move on to a world subject.

“The more the population grows, more people become selfish,” Fernando shares.

“We can’t just think about ourselves, we have to think about others,” he adds, wrapping it up with this, “They don’t know who you are inside.”

“They look at me with tattoos, a shaved head, and draw the wrong conclusion. It’s a Lakers logo, they are my team, or what If it a tattoo of your mom’s name?

There is not a tattoo on my body, but I can relate to the shaved head. The world treats me differently when my hat is off, my face is whiskered and my apparel is tattered. Now I’m not throwing a rose-colored glasses challenge in this observation.

There is a time for neatness and time for letting go. But the point is this, when we meet each other, do we lean on first sight, status, or any other external indicator, or do we inquire, conversing with a looking eye and a listening ear.

As Fernando says, “We have to think about others,” and personalizing his second part of his message, “We don’t know who they are inside.”

“Fernando, Dave, I think I may just join you one of these street basketball days, I can’t shoot, but I can pass.”

I’m standing on a street corner, near my home, no one in sight. To tell the truth, my 365 well is a little low today, been suffering from some sort of lung irritation, but as I’ve promised, 365 will roll forward, in sickness or in health. Plus, I’m sure the outside air is doing me good.

So I just, stand, looking… waiting… while opening my mind to this acceptance, “Relax, don’t force the day, allow it come to you.”

Five minutes turns to ten, then to fifteen, and, all the while, my mind is still; I find myself in a strange sort of head zone, I’m sure, most likely brought on by the side effects of the antihistamines I’ve been consuming like M&Ms for the past forty-eight hours.

The air smells fresh, and being Sunday, the roads are clear, lessening the distraction of the usual traffic noise.

I have to say, “Even though I’m slightly under the weather, life is pretty peaceful at this particular moment, on this particular day.”

Perhaps until this instant, I was not in the right mental space to meet a new friend. Maybe, in some unexplainable way, I’m being tempered away from the, “I feel sick and have to go and get a 365 interview as fast as I can,” attitude that was plaguing me only minutes before.

But whatever the reason, I know why I am here when today’s friend, Dave, pauses his truck at the intersection right in front of me. The second he stops, I am drawn to him, and feeling like a valet parking attendant, I approach him as he checks to see if the traffic is clear to proceed.

Lucky for me, I do not scare him away with my on-street solicitation.

“How long will it take?” he asks, going on to tell me, “I’m in kind of a hurry. I’ve been driving for a while and am on my way to meet a friend at the Racquetball club around the corner.”

“We’ll make it fast,” I share with him, as I suggest he park his truck at the corner for a quick interview.

“Do you toke-up?” he asks.

At first I am taken back a little by his request. Sure, I had my days, but those are way behind me now. But I have to be exposed with you in saying, “His gesture leads my to question his intents.”

Yet, there is a warmth that shrouds Dave, and in absorbing it, the apprehension passes quickly and leaves me with a complete surety of Dave’s agenda.

That agenda, “No agenda.” Dave is just opening the doors to camaraderie.

I explain, “I don’t smoke, but you are welcome to take a hit and we can just talk for a while.”

His first word of advice to us, “Stay clean and positive.”

At first, I’m a little floored by the stay clear part. I share with him, “Please forgive me for my question, and so you know, I used to smoke, a long time ago, but don’t anymore. How can you stay clean and smoke pot?”

Dave is straight up. “I hear you, I don’t smoke it to get high, I smoke it to overcome by back pain. Plus, I know how bad drugs are, my two older brothers are Heroin addicts, and so was my dad at one time. I understand the bad side of drugs.”

He describes the genesis to his back pain, “When I was nineteen I was in a bad car accident. My back was broken, I was paralyzed, in bed for two months, and have a lot of Titanium in me.” As he tells me this, he points to a major region of his back and torso. It’s a huge injury.

“I became dependent on narcotics to manage the pain, and swore I would never again use them. That is why I smoke pot.” Dave concludes.

I’m not to judge, but having had lower back issues myself, I can empathize with the pain he is talking about. To each their own, and in respect to him, and to the sanctity of reportage, I must extend that privilege to Dave.

“Be positive,” A key in Dave’s launching points. Overcoming a serious back injury is an actualization in itself. But her is where he exemplifies the premise.

All right, let’s put the pot thing behind us. “Keep moving forward and stay conscious, you have to keep your eye on where you are going, where you are at, and where you have been.”

“Where you have been?” Dave is only twenty-six, rather young to be living by such a wise philosophy. I can tell you he has earned the life degree to honor the statement.

He even elaborates on the philosophy, “You’ve go to know where you don’t want to be, to know where you do want to be.”

And after talking with Dave for a short time, I might have a glimpse of where he wants to be, taking care of his family.

“If you don’t have love, your empty in life,” Dave shares.

He speaks of family and of his brothers, both of whom have been plagued by the evils of Heroin addicting.

“My oldest brother is in prison for assault, and my other brother is living with me and my mom. He has a daughter, and is doing his best to stay clean. Right now, I’m supporting him, his daughter and my mom. It’s hard, but it’s what you do for family. Because without family, you have nothing.”

“Be positive,” Here is another zinger. Remember Dave’s back injury at age nineteen. “My dad was there to help me through it, it took two years, and right after I was up, he broke his neck. I spent two years helping him recover.”

“Those were the best four years of my life. My dad died of a heart attack just after that.” Dave recalls this as he holds back a small tear in the corner of his left eye.

I am touched in remembering the loss of my father and share with Dave a few magical moments I’ve had since my dad’s passing. Things that assure me that life is eternal, and we will one day be together again. We agree and move on.

“My mom fell apart after death of my father, and even though she has always been the rock in keeping our family together, I knew it was my time to do my part.”

 And that is exactly what Dave is doing. “I started a silk screening business and am thankful to say, it is supporting us.”

He also tells me, “All my hardships have made me who I am and have helped me to be a business owner and provider I am becoming.”

Dave, not only credits his life to the example and strength of his mother, but also to good friends, all of whom have helped to keep him on track and off the deep end.

I ask him of his future, he gives me a list:
• Happy and together with family
• Stable
• Living in a world where people take the time to stick together
• Seeing a society that doesn’t take the easy way out, with people using their own two hands.

He closes with this, “Love life, love self, then you’ll be better to the world and everything.”

Dave, you’ve earned your chops, thanks for stopping to talk today.

May your business thrive and your family heals!

“We lack the most important word in the dictionary – Cooperation. Without it, we can’t do anything.”

It’s an interesting quote coming from, Andrew, a silently powerful intellectual with a path of physical wisdom behind him.

What do I mean by physical wisdom? I’ll do my best to explain.

Looking at Andrew, it is hard to believe he was once in a fight for health, being on the verge of unhealthy obesity. He humbly credits his literal rebirth to well-being not to himself, but to his teachers, telling me, “The key is to find a good trainer who knows what they are doing, and if you do, and you are in good hands.”

It took him almost two years of study, effort and consistency to loose over two hundred pounds, about ten pounds a month for twenty months. I ask him, “Was it difficult at first?” He tells me, “The first five months were the toughest, but I just concentrated on the goal.”

With this success, Andrew has transformed his life from student to teacher, now a full time physical trainer.

OK, we get it, Andrew is physically fit, and it makes sense why he is a trainer and giving back to the community.

But where does the silently powerful intellectual thing come in?

Let’s start on the dark side and move towards the light.

As I do in all my interviews, my final question is always, “Where do you see the world, or yourself in the next five, ten, fifteen, twenty or even beyond years?”

I’m sure you have read this question many times if you are a full time follower of 365, and thanks for reading it again. If not, now you know.

In it, I have received countless positive outlooks, calls to action and dark predictions.

Andrew’s answer, “It’s already become what it is going to be, and we have to accept it. The only thing that will change is the weather. We just need to keep putting the right foot in front of the left.”

From someone who has conquered a monumental physical trial, this response almost seems contrary to his character. “I’m one of the lucky one’s he says of his trek to physically fit.”

He tells me of the statistics for those who find their way to condition, it floats around one percent. That number floors me, and it forces me to take it as personal council to get my eating habits in order.

Again, an extremely positive and active comment, so why the pessimistic sounding, “It’s already become what it is going to be, and we have to accept it. The only thing that will change is the weather. We just need to keep putting the right foot in front of the left.”

It get’s even darker when Andrew tells me of the Tattoo’s on his wrists, Dark Lotus, a band that he calls, “The music of the modern day Dead Heads.”

I watched four of their videos, and if violence, sex and language are you thing, they are the band for you.

Andrew, I mean no disrespect; Dark Lotus is just a bit too heavy for me.

But in reflecting on their message and linking it to your responses, I’m pretty sure I get the message.

You state, “Society will fix itself, if we the people do something about it.”

That’s what I get from Dark Lotus, even thought their message is strikingly harsh, and I’m sure offensive to many, they are talking about standing up to do something. Howbeit in a rather anarchical way, they are non-the-less making the following statement.

“We will take control of what we will, or can.”

And in the world of art, expression and even personal-point-of-view, I will never step on, or condemn, anyone’s freedom of expression.

So Andrew, in a walking on the edge way, I see how you relate the band to your thoughts for the world. And, Readers, Andrew’s perspective is far from dark and violent.

In his words of council for us, as any self-respecting trainer would do, Andrew challenges us, “It’s all about mindset, you can’t take any loss personally. It’s all part of growth, and with a positive mental attitude you can do anything. No matter what the experience, you have to think of everything in life as the gas you need to get around. And with that fuel, you can have inner peace.”

Inner peace vs. violent band? Still confused?

Let’s work at it some more.

“Don’t rebuild, reload,” the definition Andrew uses to thumbnail his above council, it’s the mind set stuff he is talking about.

I call him a silently powerful intellectual. Why?

If you were standing in his presence during our interview, you would most likely notice, at first meeting Andrew is reserved, calm and listening; but as he opens up he reveals a very inquiring and impassioned side of his personality.

Andrew is all about unity, and possesses a deep concern for the people, and in maintaining the freedoms that we so enjoy in the United States.

He calls us to action, “You have two choices, you can live the rat race, or live off the land.”

The “land” he is talking is not our getting lost in the forests or an open fielded homestead, but rather, and I’m guessing here, “the land,” refers to each other.

“Each other,” meaning, doing our part to better our condition, physically, mentally, spiritually and politically.

Politics is a big topic, and one that I cannot fully address in this entry. Plus, it would be against the mission of 365 to promote any one party conclusion or campaign in any way. But here is what Andrew is saying.

“It is up to us, not the government to determine our future,” In this call, he is not speaking of revolution, but rather, and I’m inventing a word here, humanalution.

Humanalution, I like it, and it fits with Andrew’s, “living off the land.”

In “the land” Andrew is talking of the people as a whole: Individuals, homes, streets, communities, cities, states and beyond. “

“The most powerful word in the dictionary is Cooperation.” Andrew stands.

And “We the people,” is his course.

Yep, I think I’ve described Andrew correctly: Silently powerful, Intellectual and with a depth of Physical Wisdom.

See you at the gym buddy.

I need to make this entry short today, and I’m pretty sure that my new friends, Kim and Danna, will appreciate my reasoning. My daughter just walked away from me, after wanting us to watch a YouTube that is important to her, I responded in regrettable fathering, saying, “Give me a minute, you know how I am when I am writing.”

She is a great kid, “I know daddy, just your saying that a lot lately. I’ll show it to you when your done,” and off she goes to her household activities.

Hit’s a direct bulls eye at the core of my heartstrings, and after this evenings interview, I know where I need to be – ASAP: With my daughter.

Both Kim and Danna have this wish for the future and for the world, “We wish for the family to be restored.”

For both of these women of service, family is of the utmost importance. And I am certain that if they were here, they would peel me from my keypad. So with that said, I’m sharing with you cliff notes from our interview.

Regarding “women of service:”
I meet Kim and Danna outside of a supermarket where they are contributing their time to teen challenge international (www.teenchallenge.org), an amazing organization that has, to date, changed the lives of over 86,769 teens struggling to escape the tragic grasp of drugs. I find it kind of interesting to run into them after yesterday’s comments from Lauren regarding the devastating effects of addiction.

For five days a week they are either camped, as they are tonight, in one place, or going door to door in raising donations for the efforts of the organization.

What drives them to give such an enormous amount of their time to the cause?

To quote Kim, “We all need to find time to let go of ourselves, and realize everyone is of value, and we need to learn to put others before us. We have an obligation.”

A very spiritual person, Kim goes on to share this in her council to the world, “Be still and know he is God.”

Danna smiles at Kim, “Oh I like that! It’s the truth, and very simple, he’s going to handle it, we can rest in that.”

I’ve always had a bit of an issue with grace, I believe in it, but feel that we also have to do the works in life. If we do good, we receive good; I we are tolerant, we are accepted; If we give service, we receive sustenance; and so forth.

So in meeting Kim and Danna, my notion is confirmed: Two good people doing what they do in one shared purpose, and they are putting their actions where their hearts are.

I am inspired!

Kim expounds with this thought, “It’s cooler to see a lot of people doing a little, than a few people doing a lot.”

So I ask myself, “Am I doing my part? …I hope so.”

Both Kim and Danna combine their voices in making this plea, “That any of us with hearts of stone, work to turn them to hearts of flesh.”

Here is one observation I make that may shed some light on the heart of flesh thing.

As we are talking, both Kim and Danna are actively engaged in hellos to all who pass, most of whom either contribute, or, at least, are open and friendly to the message of these two selfless women.

But every now and then comes a person who is belligerent or dismissingly rude, some even physically showing signs of repulsion to even look at either Kim, Danna or myself.

I ask us this. “Of the above mentioned, which passer byes carry the hearts of flesh, and who is burdened with the stone?”

It seems to me we can all dodge the stone arteries with even the simplest of gestures; old school stuff like, hello, a smile, or sadly, the lesser and lesser used, thank you.

Perfect timing, my little chef has just come up to me, “Daddy, want noodles?” I forgot to tell you, she is a nine-year old epicurean.

I’m off to the dining room.

Until tomorrow, my friends.

Here I am, basking in the harsh conditions of a California winter. Yeh, I know the West Coast economy and politics are, for many, less than desirable, but on a day like today, it’s worth the compromise.

I have an ongoing joke with a good friend of mine, a transplant to Pennsylvania, he tells me of the seasons, and I tell him of the warm. I’m good with the warm.

Welcome to the Westlake Promenade, an outdoor shopping center where I am meeting a friend by association, Lauren, the assistant manage at the Enterprise Rent-A-Car of friends from the weeks past.

They are a family in working together, and to leave one of the clang out would just be wrong.

I am first to arrive and after a long day communing with my techno friend, Mr. Laptop, my wrists, neck and shoulders are thrilled to grab a bit of afternoon days end chillage (chillage, I claim inventing the word, but it’s OK if you use it).

For sake of story telling and reference, here is my situation and frame of mind: To the right, a couple students are laughingly studying. Their thick textbooks flashing me back to my high school years while slapping me into a scholastic reality. From the distance, looks like algebra, but who’s staring.

Staring is an understatement, it’s more of a Holly Hell! tightening of the chest. Why the shortness of breath, my kid is nine, we homeschool, and I’ve been deemed, school principle, science and “math” teacher. The dean and science stuff is fun, but Algebra*!*.

Right now, a prep school in Pennsylvania is not looking so terrible. And, to add to this reflection, I was actually tempted several months ago to move to the city of brotherly love, when I came within inches of taking a corporate job in Philly. But thanks to a CEO who has troubles comparing my personality test to who I am, the position dissolved. Well the city was cool; just some CEO’s don’t get the spirit.

Yet, all the way through an extensive two months of phone interviews, face-to-face meetings with a plethora of departmental heads and VP’s, and, yes, bearing the infamous-six-hour personality test, my heart was constantly telling me, “Don’t do it!”

For the entirety of the two months, fear of a downward economy compromised my decision-making and burdened my instinct. I denied my own self-worth and settled for the comfort of a possibly secure income. Not to knock it, would have been nice in a way, but in retrospect, I understand why it was not to be. Forgive my indulgence in publically making the following claim, and I ask you to apply it to your lives as well, “I’m in a better place anyway.”

I was blinded by opportunity, and the universe redirected me to the right decision, “Simply staying put!”

Readers, thanks for allowing me this therapeutic moment, but as sit, waiting for the arrival of Lauren, I found it impossible to hold back this stream of consciousness.

Perhaps its purpose is to bring to focus that many of us are going thought similar trials with work, career or family. But whatever the reason, I guess there is one take away I can share, “Whatever the case, never loose our passion, it will always steer us right, regardless of the difficulties and temptations we endure.”

With this stage set, I am grateful for what I have titled, “The Philly Experiment,” and have used it to commit my life to the pursuit of a new direction for 2012. That direction, I’m calling it “inspired decision.”

I know at this moment, inspired decision applies to all of use. Life experience happens for a reason, and if we weather it well, accepting our pasts, and doing our best to move forward, better horizons “always” open up.

I choose the word always with intent. Intent based on both observations of my life history as well as the histories shared with me from the, now over 200, friends of 365. All who have proven to me that every human possesses a voice deep inside, one that most often tells them who they are, and what they need to do. The tough part, it never tells us why we are here, that is the part, which is very difficult to accept. But the question to explore is “Do we have the courage and tenacity to listen to the who’s and the what’s.”

This question is cornerstone to making the following proclamation; “’Mortality is filled with the good and the bad, and within each, there is reason and potential for advancement. What we do with it is up to us, and, as I previously mentioned, with the right perspective, ‘better horizons open up.’”

And with that, it is my finding that the more humbly we embrace our trials, our victories, and learn to patiently weather the storm of life, a sweetness in our hearts can grow; A sweetness that is cleansing, clearing our countenance and giving us the ability to accept self and co-exist with one another.

And as per Lauren, she exemplifies this proclamation, “My boyfriend and I are learning religion on a different level. We are who we are; embrace it, god created us for a reason. You don’t have to fit into society the way it tells you to. If you want to wear a tutu, wear it.”

My perception, Lauren is speaking of acceptance, living with patience and a loving view of the world.

“God created us for a reason.” My take on Lauren’s religion, “Stay kind, respect each other and look toward the future with open arms.” With this, the reasons will be unveiled at the right time.

Working at a rental car company has given Lauren a macro glimpse of society, experiencing both the shining and darker examples of man.

“People need to relax, it’s just a rental car, and I’m here to help you.”

Lauren tells me of the rudeness that many express as they rent their vehicles. Her philosophy in dealing with it, “No one is perfect” and “Patience is a virtue.”

She asks us all to remember, “Next time you are wanting to react negatively towards a person, think about this, “They are your neighbor, They are a human being, They are in your community.”

Again Lauren speaks of acceptance, using this quote from one of her favorite authors, Kyra Davis: “Man cannot improve on God’s creations. When we try, we get things like Hairless dogs and “cheese” that you squeeze out of a can.”
I ask Lauren about her desires for the future:

“Wow”…She contemplates, “I have no idea.”

After a short pause, her composure is regained, “A good president, people out of debt, not living paycheck to paycheck, and the ability to have real vacations – like in Australia. Anything that will help us all to not be stuck, but to live a little bit.” She hums the Supertramp tune.

I’ve looked at Lauren’s Facebook and cannot ignore one more of her favorite quotes,

“There’s been a time for war, a time for strife, a time set aside for everything under the sun. We must now set aside a time for love” -Stevie Wonder

This Stevie Wonder revelation sums up Lauren in one sentence.

Strife is no stranger to Lauren. Towards the end of our interview she opens up a life experience.

“My sister overcame a drug addiction, it was so hard on my family, but she is past it now and happily married with two children.”

Her call to us is matter of fact, “Don’t do drugs! Especially hard drugs!

They not only destroy your life, but the lives of your whole family.

ADDICTION IS BAD!! PERIOD!

We speak of trust, “If you can’t trust the world, find one person to trust, and when you need them, turn to them. We don’t need to be alone.”

In closing Lauren gives us an action item.

First ask yourself, “Are you completely satisfied – always.”

“If not, at least make a list, and check it off as you go.”

All right, I’ll add one more thing to my list, “Learn Algebra.”

Lauren, see you next time I rent. “How much for the Ferrari?”

Rejection is key tonight. The man working at 7-Eleven, warm not interested; a local auto repair center… “We’re too fried to speak”; the pizza joint, “Life is good, we need to treat each other well, but I’m out.” It’s just the beginning a deluge of rejections.

The dry cleaner… “Great idea, don’t want to be photographed”; the accountant next door… “I like it. Not me”; The cool girl at the tanning salon… “I’m in,” but when I tell her she will be the front page of my blog for 24 hours, she gets self-conscience and declines.

Off to the supermarket to grab my wife’s medication (bronchitis bites). I ask the pharmacist. You guessed it, “It’s a nice idea, but I’m too busy.”

Rejection is part of 365, I’m good with that, but please, someone help me out here. I’ve got a sick wife to tend to; an all-night 365 outing is just not a select option tonight.

To my left, watching the whole exchange, is a shop customer. I turn to him (I’m sure I look a little exasperated), “Did you hear what we were talking about?…” I share with my unknown friend.

“No, I didn’t catch it.”

“Perhaps you can save me from a long night of insanity?”

My still-unknown friend is all ears as I introduce him to 365, while telling him of the rejections I have thus far had.

Without hesitation, “I’ll do it! Is it OK if I am a Scientologist?”

“Of course,” I tell him, explaining that 365 makes no claim to highlighting any one specific religion, political point of view, race, gender, income bracket or really, any differentiator of humanity.

Simply told, “365 features people for who they are, and that’s it.”

With the history of the night told, I think it’s fair of me to finally let you know the name of my sanity saving friend.

Say “Hello” to Cesar, father of two and a king of positive thinking.

It’s a little awkward being in a supermarket taking photos of Cesar, feels like the eyes are upon us as shoppers pause to take notice of what we are doing. Plus, the security guard at the entrance looked at me with trepidation as I entered the store, and wanting to be assured that we do not become a distraction to the mobs of shoppers, we make our interview short and sweet.

There is a persuasive comfort present in speaking with Cesar, and it leads me to my earlier mentioned perception of his infectiously positive attitude.

Of Mankind, he starts with this, “I want mankind to be totally awesome.”

A rather global statement. “How can that happen?” I challenge.

He clarifies, “It starts with the individual. We can be awesome if we all could find a way to do our part.”

To quote Cesar, “First we have to make ourselves whole, and from there we are able to help others out.”

His concept is of selflessness, not selfishness.

In his words, “I’d like to see honesty in every single person. People who listen to other people who want to be heard in letting them express their feelings without judgment.”

Cesar throws a second global charge, “If we were nice to each other we’d have no crime.”

Sounds overly optimistic, I know, but what is relevant in his charge is what we do with it.

There is great power in one. If we do our best and help others, the probability of those we uplift will become viral. One, becomes two and two becomes four.

Think of all the great examples of one: the compassion of Mother Theresa, the integrity of Abraham Lincoln and the courage Rosa Parks; only a few who through their faith and perseverance did great works. Who is to say that one effort is naught?

Cesar, I applaud your optimism.

His final wish, a father of two, Cesar concludes, “I dream that my kids will grow up in a better world.”

Cesar, I’m with you.

Now back to shopping.

Box City, Fry’s Electronics, Office Depot, you know, you’ve been here, Errand night.

It’s 5:45pm, winters do get dark early, don’t they? But there is something about the night air that is spectacular, and I am happy to be out.

I am not alone, as expected by my daughter, the promise of shopping, even at Box City, is a calling to her, so she is by my side.

I tell her, no problem, but we will be on the lookout for 365 friends. Like I’ve said before, “My family is in great support of 365,” but I have to admit, the thought of backgrounding her this evening is sitting a little roughly with me. Especially after hearing her smiling response to a 365 outing, “Aaahg.”

Aaahg, Not sure how it sounds to you as your read it, but I think you get the message.

And even though we are in no rush to speed through our route, I am resolute to do my best to find a friend that she can both appreciate, and one who will help me in making our interview short and sweet.

We enter our first stop, Box City, our local pit stop for UPS shipping. The store is empty with one young couple leaning at the register ringing out a stack of boxes.

They depart, leaving my daughter and I alone with four shop keeps behind the counter. I throw an invite, and even as I am explaining 365, I know the answer, “We are not interested.”

It was a no brainer; this is a feeling that I have come to identify with often. It’s not a negative sensation, just a little voice that says, “Not these guys or these ladies.”

It’s weird coming to identify with it. I’ve had times where I’m standing in threatening places, yet the voice says, “Stay.” Or the exact opposite, people jumping to be interviewed and the prompting saying, “Not here, not now.”

So all I do is listen, and every time I force it, nothing happens.

The big question I am self-asking, “Is tonight’s interview going to be short.”

And in my gut there is something telling me it will be.

Perhaps it is a reprieve being delivered to me by a higher power, wanting me to focus my attention to my daughter this evening. But, whatever it is, it is evident that I will not be taking photos of the Box City guys.

We leave the store, only minutes after the young couple before us. The moment I leave the shop, I know I see my new friends–the above mentioned couple as they are putting the last of their boxes into the back of their hatchback.

What is amazing to me is that I know, even before introduce myself, they are prepared to share a needed point-of-view with the simplest of narration. And after several weeks of rather lengthily 365 searches and interviews, I welcome the prospect of a short meeting.

Trust, me, I’m not complaining. I’m loving the deep discussions I’ve been blessed to be part of, and if that is the pre-ordained path of 365, I’m all in!

Needless to say, I am learning to accept the promptings I feel as correct.

I have to tell you the scene. The Box City parking lot is not really a parking lot, more like a few painted parking slips in a very dark alley. An alley that is not heavily trafficked or lit, the sort of space that keeps you hyper aware and very reserved in being willing to lock eye contact with anyone. After all, muggers come in all shapes and sizes, even dads with daughters.

Maybe, the fact that I am traveling with a nine-year old in a beat up Honda, lessons the intimidation factor; but whatever it is, the air is filled with a peaceful spirit, telling us all, “This is a good thing.”

It’s all smiles as I speak with my new friends Emma and her boyfriend. They are in the middle of a move, yet are in no way rushed to get away.

We talk about 365 in generalities for a while, highlighting some of the experiences that many strangers have shared with me. We agree that many things happen for a reason as we look at how the links of 365 are forming.

Emma is the only of the two who is willing to be photographed, but her boyfriend is extremely supportive of the message 365 is forming.

Per my earlier muse, Emma, without hesitation, throws a to the point and youthful council.

“Be nice to everyone, because bad Karma sucks!”

We all smile huge on that one, and with one fun little message, Emma encapsulates one of the strongest notes coming out of 365, “Just be nice.”

In thinking about the future, Emma wants the world to be more developed.

At first, I question if she is talking about technology and industry, but that thought does not sit right with me. I have to inquire further, “What do you mean?” I ask.

She clarifies, “I’m talking about people, we all need to be consistently looking through other peoples eyes. To do our best to understand each other and overcome ignorance.”

Ignorance? A bold and powerful word, one that contrasts with Emma’s youthful and soft energy. Yet, a word that tells a lot of Emma’s character.

In speaking of the topic, I realize what Emma is saying. If used incorrectly, ignorance, can be perceived as a judgmental term. But in speaking with this sweetheart of a young woman, her point speaks volumes.

What Emma is telling us is to educate ourselves. Not only of trades, or of tasks, or in knowledge of the planet. But to humble down in looking at the lives of others with a “what if we are in their shoe perspective.” Sort of a great little recap of the discussion I had only yesterday with our friend George.

Over the last few weeks, I’ve written this header often, “We are all in this thing together.”

Emma has delivered us a lot this night in her truncated and impactful words, “Be nice, and see others for who they are.”

In this, she is not telling us to be friends with everyone, but challenges us to a minimum of a least respecting each other. To accept individuals at face value, for who they are, not what they are.

Because after all, “No one wants bad Karma.”

Thanks Emma, happy moving!

I break a rule this evening; I’ve promised myself not to mix 365 with my livelihood. A business; that through thick and thin has graciously supported myself, and my family, for the last thirty years of my life.

But tonight, the 365 voice is stronger than my reservations, and when a moment of individual time with my new friend George, the owner and CEO of a company that I am meeting with for the first time arises, my hesitation subsides and I know that I am in the right place, at the right time and with a person who has a strong message for all at 365.

The prompting is fulfilled when George blazes a trail of wisdom.

What I thought was to be a short interview, turns out to be an amazing discussion of humility and love. Life gauges that, sadly, are often the first principles to be stripped in the corporate world.

George, however, grasps these principles as the leading force in creating his corporate culture, and it is empowering to witness. What is amazing is the commitment, professionalism and endless skill set I see in all of the working with George. That’s right, I said, “Working with George.”

“Working with George,” I’m very selective in making this observation. In a world where so many  “Work for,” All I can say is, “I am in a culture that is united, not only in the business of marketing, tactics and strategy, but even more powerfully, in the pursuit of a greater humanity.”

I’m deep enough in 365 to have received many compliments regarding the content. Content that I claim no credit for, and admit it really is beyond me.

There is an invisible web that is continuing to form, with strands of silk beyond my control, all somehow coming together to weave a framework of life concepts for us all to grasp.

365 is created not for any personal means or any self-gratification, although I’d be a liar to say it is not changing my life for the better. I just report my findings and do the best I can to make it somewhat entertaining. That’s all.

George, forgive me for throwing one global bounce back to a few not so positive comments I’ve received regarding my service in embarking on 365. I’ve been accused of loving to hear myself speak, that is so far from the truth. It’s really quite the opposite. My purpose in 365 is to be the voice of others, not to boast of my own agenda: It is about hearing, seeing and accepting each other. And my words are simply that, words.

Words to the readers, not to myself; words that for three to four hours of every day, I do my best to smith in a way that does justice to the many who so bravely step up to share what they have to share. So the tribute is not to myself, it is to you, my 365 friends. OK, enough rebuttal.

George, thank you for allowing me that clarification. Much appreciated.

Now, here is the golden cap to that statement, and I feel part of the reason for my meeting George this day.

To sit with one who is, by the world’s standards, highly successful in business, it is exceptional to also find a man who is a champion of humility in honoring all, no matter what their situation or ability.

He knows where he is going, has the smarts to do it, and is obviously on course. But with the thought of business mastery set aside, and in the context of getting to know each other, George and I have a chat of a higher nature.

George possesses a great self-awareness, one that he does not covet, but has sincere desire to share. So much so, he gives me a literal glossary of life perspectives, perspectives that so ground where we are thus far in the 365 journey. And somehow, I can not deny one simple fact, “With this being the first day of a New Year, we are meant to hear Georges council, and great council it is.”

The first philosophy that George shares with me is the concept of “True Beauty.”

He likens it to a gift, saying, “Life give’s gifts and it’s a gift to just be here,” posing this question to us all, “When did you stop taking off the wrapping paper and take the time to unwrap the gift.”

I ask, “What if life is difficult? Is that still a gift?”

George has a way of answering with parables and questions, really makes talking to him more than just a conversation, but a fascination self-discovery and challenge to look into oneself. He talks in the perspective of self, never delivering a “What about George?” premise, but rather speaks in the “What about you?” All with the greatest of humility and respect, both supported by an infectiously engaging sense of humor. George is the kind of guy that you simply want to break bread with.

His answer to my “What if?” Question.

In perfect George grace, he let’s me answer it for myself.

“Regardless of where the ship seems, the captain knows where the port is… And, it is the same port that we departed from.”

“The road to epiphany is for people to gradually de-hypnotize themselves and rediscover choice.”

“Life is collaborative theatre, and we are in the process of real time character development.”

“No one can master pride. They can only master humility.”

Read them how you want, Here is my take: “Sure, life deals us blows and blessings, some are self inflicted and others are inflicted upon us. But no matter what the infliction or gift, it is for our self-development and also provides us a greater empathy for mankind.”

The key is this self-question, At the end of the day, did we choose to be the best person we could, and did we do our part to, in the words of George, “Master our humility.”

More gems from George, “There is always room for an epiphany, and there will never be a last epiphany. The hard question is, do we act on them, or are we calcified by life experience?”

In making decisions, he give’s us this, “Think less, know more. Make as few decisions as possible, but make the one’s that are required. No biases, no judgment, no rash decisions, but the right decisions.”

I mentioned George’s sense of humor; here is a rather fun, yet powerfully subtle parable to support his thoughts on humility.

“The smartest human is no smarter that the smartest ant.”

Meaning, no matter how large we think we are, there is always more to learn, and there is always a greater intelligence than us.

He defines it as possessing a, “Gifted Conscience,” Explaining, “This gift is simply humility… The more we listen to the words of others, the more we will discover how to hear the gifts.”

George departs these words upon us, three words that he openly proclaims are guide marks in his life: Love Truth, Beauty.

“They are barometers for where we are. Many see them as three separate words, but if we live at the highest, they become the same word.”

With a warm mile George tells me this, “I want to write a book, a compilation of the ongoing essays I am writing.”

The title of that book, suitably: Love, Loves, Love.

George, Thanks for the New Year kick off.

Talk soon, my friend.

Thirteen has always been a lucky number for me. Perhaps the fact that I am born on May 13^th is a contributor to my choice of fortunate digits, or maybe the point that I got my first drivers license on Friday the 13^th, and am happy to say my DMV record is stellar, are both good reasons for my affinity towards this ominous numerical value.

But I learn something new tonight, 13 is a special number in the tattooing world. Don’t know why, it just is. So when on day 113, I stumble a tattoo parlor in suite 113, I take notice.

How did I get here?

I am never without my 365 kit, it goes with me everywhere, and tonight is no exception, as my family and I are in commute to the wedding reception of a best friends son. Of course I’m behind the wheel, after all, “I do have a stellar driving record, you know?”

And with an hour gained via my eighty-mile-an-hour freeway cockiness, we find ourselves, at said wedding reception venue, with one hour to spare.

With thumbs twiddling, my lovely better half (got to love her), encourages me, “We have an hour to spare, lets find your 365.”

Here we are again, car-constricted family outing, and looking for a 365 friend. Man! I’m going to owe my familia big time when this thing concludes on September 9, 2012.

I find myself a little lost, not sure where to go as we cruise down Beach Boulevard. This is not, in the adapted lyrics of Frank Sinatra, “My part of town.”

Feeling a little road weary from a foggy skied commute, it’s hard for me scan the area. Honestly, I’m really quite out of my element, when, as we pass an obscure tiny strip mall, my wife does a passenger seat sit up, “Stop there!”

She points, directing my 45-mile an hour glance to a tattoo parlor, which is somewhat hidden in the shadows.

I don’t really see it, but I’m in, I’ve been married for 18 years and am happy to share a key for happy married life. Got your note pad and pencil. Here it is, “When the misses speaks, listen, she is usually right.”

Hey, I’m a self-respecting man; have to at least keep the word usually in my claim.

Tonight though, my lovely is right on. I’m dubbing her, “The 365 divining rod.”

We park and find ourselves settled in front of Players Club Tattoo Parlor. Now, the tattoo experience is one that I have never partaken of, but at first sight, there is something magnetic about this 365 prospect.

I kill the engine and turning to my daughter, “Guys I’ll be right back, want to check the place out before I grab my gear, probably best for you to wait here.”

I’m telling you, I’m going to own these guys.

The place is buzzing (no tattoo gun pun intended), and I hang in the reception for a second, before I am met by one of the owning partners of the establishment.

I quickly tell him about the project, and that I am on day 113. He patiently listens and responds, “Follow me.”

We head towards the front door; I guess I’m getting tossed out…

How wrong I am, we round the front door and he points to the number of his suite, Suite 113.

He nods at me, “Lets do it.”

Coincidence or fate, who knows? But bottom line, we are both thinking that Suite 113 on day 113 is telling us something.

My new friend, J.J, is right in the middle of creating arm art on one of his customers, a very detailed fish, but even in the middle of work, he still invites me to chat with them as they go on. It’s around 6pm and they have been at it since 4:30pm, so I just promise to settle in beside them in allowing them to continue as I conduct my interview.

The place is very chill, but the music, pole dancing mannequin and wall art are way over the head of my nine-year old, so to the car I go to break the news of another car wait and to grab my camera bag.

I’ve said it a bunch; I owe them. But on the other hand, they too are growing with me in 365. I guess we are the new three musketeers of outreach, “All for all, and All for All.” I’ll get back to you with the theme music later. Yeh, Radstone, we believe you?

With family patiently waiting, once again in auto bliss, I get my first lesson about tattoo community; “Tattoos are more than art, they are statements to the character of the wearer.” I do not publish the name of J.J’s customer, yet the few comments he shares with me regarding his tattoo are impactful.

“Why a fish?” I ask him.

“It has a lot of meaning in the Asian culture and I have chosen it because its virtues are important to me,” He responds.

Those virtues: Good fortune, strength in adversity, ambition, aspiration and determination.

I don’t know this man, but by the tone of his delivery of this explanation, I know his reasoning behind his choice of tattoo art is for good purpose. New customer friend, I appreciate the education.

So here I am, observing a tattoo in progress. No time better than now to ask question one.

“What words of wisdom do you have for my readers?” We bounce a few ideas and settle on one very strong statement.

With a confident smile J.J give us this, In Latin: “Sic Vis Pacem Para Pellum.”

If you know Latin, great! If not, keep reading, I’ll give you its translation later.

I’m careful to not distract J.J too much from the tattoo he is applying as he talks. His customer is very cool, and even thought I can see him striving to stay focused to not move, plus, I’m guessing, keeping his mind off the needle, the last thing I want to do is be the one responsible for a mistake. Cause after all, there is no erasing in tattooing, and I assume a serious butt kicking to the distractor who causes one.

Question one down, on to number two:

“Where would you like to see the world, yourself, or any combination of the two in the next five, ten, twenty or beyond years?”

Remember, J.J is concentrating deeply on the tattoo he is applying. “I just want to make it past 2012.”

That’s right there are a bunch of predictions floating out there. Here is a link I found that lists what many are prophesying: http://www.2012predictions.net/articles.htm

J.J share one more, “I’d like to see more people taking care of themselves and the planet.”

We all agree big time on that one.

I’m thinking we’re done with the interview and ask my last beat, “Is there anything else you’d like to add.

“I’m good, but you may want to ask some of the other guys.”

Catches me completely off guard, this studio rocks! And everyone perks up they’re interest in what I’m doing. All are down to contribute.

Tattoo world, I’m loving your community. And even though not all want to be photographed, all contribute.

From Capone (he has chosen not to be photographed):
“The more I learn, the more I realize I don’t know.”

There is no photo for you, but this is my take away of the guy, “He is a mountain of humility, life experience and brain power.”

Sanding next to him is Niz. He looks at Capone, “Come correct or don’t come at all!” he says.

Not being sure what his statement refers to, I ask him to elaborate.

He is talking about professionalism,

“It ain’t about looking pretty, it’s about sitting pretty. People don’t realize what we do. We are not like what is shown on TV. We are professional, working every day, and we know a lot of things.”

Being an artist myself, I can relate to what Niz is saying. It is simply this, “Yeh, we are artistic, but we are also businessmen, fathers and husbands doing our best to make a living. In his poetic sentence, “It ain’t about looking pretty, it’s about sitting pretty,” Niz is referring to responsibility and respect of community. I like this dude.

Last on deck is Dominic, J’J’s business partner.

He comes out of the blocks with, “Do what you love.”

“We’ve talked about that a lot in 365.” I mention to him. “And though this statement has been a constant through-line in 365, it’s never old to hear.” Yet, I challenge him to think a little more about the statement.

Dominic hits a home run in expanding on the premise.

“Don’t settle, never get too content, and always shoot for the stars.” He calmly expresses.

Let me expand. In this simple improvised phrase, Dominic has shaken all of us. What he is saying is this. The evolution of a person is never-ending. He has given us permission to reach high, to not only push ourselves, but also to never stop looking, even when we are content. I’ve seen it time and time again, friends, neighbors and family saying, “I’m bored, I don’t know what to do now, or suffering from the chronic “I’m tired bug.” Wealthy or not, I’ve seen it, and Dominic, with his in-the-moment premise, has given us a soulful means to act upon.

“Don’t settle, never get too content, and always shoot for the stars.” Killer stuff!

Dominic’s wishes for the future. In perfect form of the spirit of Players Club, “I hope everybody is successful in meeting the goals they want to meet.”

I’ve been schooled again, for almost ninety-minutes I have communed with men of wisdom, at one point I laughingly shared, “This is not a tattoo parlor, it’s a ministry, proclaiming the Gospel of Community.”

All smiled, paused for a flash and resumed their work.

But kidding aside, A Hispanic friend of mine told me once of a cultural philosophy, “The truth is in between the humor.”

Men and customers of Players Club, “Thank for allowing me in, lack of tats and all.”

Oh! The translation to J.J’s Latin:

“If you want peace, prepare for war”

Poignant.

SHAMELESS PLUG:
On Friday, January 13, 2012, Players Club Tattoo Parlor will be presenting the Suite 113 Art Show and Party.

For information go to www.playersclubtattoo.com

I might even see you there.