SideWalk Ghosts / Interview 174: Young Survivors

Two nights ago you were with me at Cloud 9 Hookah Lounge as we spent a short time with Karnnitha, a young woman with a true purpose in life. She shared with us her insights and desire to reach out in helping the women of the world, enlightening us to the troubles facing the many unfortunate young women.

We talked of the greatness in all of us and today we will pick that discussion back up in meeting our new friends of day 174.

But before I tell you about them, I have a confession; I did not meet them today. I actually met them as I was leaving Cloud 9 after my interview of Karnnitha.

Picture me as a 365 billboard, everywhere I go handing out cards in promoting its purpose to all I pass by. So as I leave Cloud 9, I take a second to say hello to a group enjoying an evening of Hookah chill.

Well… a second turns into twenty minutes. Fascinating conversation and by the glow in faces of my unknown, and young acquaintances, is a proclamation of their great depth and experience. I cannot pass on extending them an offer to contribute to 365. They light up and we arrange a meeting place, Rite Aid in the Calabasas commons shopping center. A strange place to meet, but it is there call… so I go with it.

Two days pass and I find myself standing outside of our agreed upon Rite Aid. Its cold, and waiting in the parking lot, I stand in expectation of my friend’s arrival. When from behind me I hear, “Richard.” I turn and there they are, two unique and caring young adults, both obviously committed to their special friendship, readers please give welcome to survivors, Taylor and Ben.

You will understand what I mean by survivors as you read on.

I have to ask, “Why Rite Aid?”

“It’s our office, we have a place to sit in the back,” They laugh.

“The managers and everyone who works here knows us, its warm and they let us hang out. Sometimes they even feed us.”

That place to sit they talk of… the waiting area of the pharmacy. We even have a screen for privacy. At one point during beginning introductions the manager walks over, places his hand on the screen and firmly commands, “Why is this here!”

Ben fly’s off, “Because we need privacy!”

I’m caught a little off guard, and trying to lessen the uncomfortable situation, I try to diffuse, “Do you want me to take them outside?” I joke with what looks like a very annoyed store manager.

They all crack up. The joke is on me. These kids are special and the manager knows it. Seems I’ve been set up. Our manager friend replaces the screen and we begin a deeper conversation.

Taylor goes first in encouraging all, “Don’t give up, only the strong survive.”

Only the strong survive? A very bold opening statement from a very young mind.

I quickly discover that Taylor has earned the badges to own such a sentence.

“I was very rebellious, ran away at fourteen, I lied about my age, told them I was sixteen and got a job at a restaurant that paid under the table. From there I couched it at friends houses until one day I moved in at the house of a guy that I really liked. That was a big mistake. The police came and arrested everyone. I got sent to one of those places in Utah for a year and a half. I hated it, but it saved me. While I was there I wrote letters to my father, he was in too.”

I have to interrupt, “He was in too? Was you father incarcerated?”

“Yes,” Taylor tells me, “But our letters helped bring us together and motivated both of us to rebuild our lives.”

Under sixteen and rebuilding her life? Think about that for a moment…

Taylor is a unique young woman, she is a blend of radical independence mixed with a charming and heart-felt attachment to the importance of family.

“Man! It doesn’t matter where you are in the world, if you have family, they will always be there. You have to have good family values.”

Even though Taylor and her father have lived, and learned, via the school of hard knocks, they both have a special connection, one that is apparent in Taylor’s words.

So what is core to Taylor’s rebellion? Believe it or not it is a medical condition, ADHD. In telling me of it Taylor speaks with the maturity of a women twice her age and has a regard for its influence on her life. Yet she looks at life with optimism and vigor, “You only have one life to live, if you are given the opportunity to do it, take it, and you have to be yourself.”

With the inclusion of Ben, we talk about being yourself. Taylor talks of life and what she sees in other kids her age, “People need to find happiness from within, not from the world around them. So many kids are unhappy. That’s why they go to school with guns or overdose, because they are unhappy.”

Ben opens up, “I’d love to see us all get alone. I see too many people hating and fighting because of religion and skin color. And I believe in second chances. If someone messes us, we have to give them a second chance.”

“Easy for a kid to say…” the pessimistic may shout. But I tell you, of all the people I know, Ben is the one who has the right to make this claim.

“When I was five I was shot because I am Jewish. I got hit by two bullets, one in the leg and the other in the abdomen. I lost fifty percent of my blood and almost died.

The guy who shot me was a member of the Arian Nation Movement and came here from Idaho to make his point. He walked into our Jewish Center and opened up… shot five of us. Then he left and shot and killed a Filipino man at another location. It was a big deal and in the national news. I remember meeting President Clinton, my mom speaking to Ted Kennedy, and a lot of other famous people stood by us. But that was a while ago. I’m past it and hold no hatred for what happened to me.”

By the way, Ben is also diagnosed with ADHD, part of the reason for the special bond of friendship he and Taylor share.

Ben has been brutally attacked by the hate of the world and Taylor has walked the paths of the lost, but both together prove the wonderment of the healing power of friendship.

A gentle giant, Ben speaks optimistically of the world, “I’d like to see a future where more people are sharing. People are selfish and greedy and that gets them in a lot of trouble.

And also, I’d like to see more real friendships.”

Taylor has this infections smile, and with it she praises Ben’s view of friendships with a loving, “Amen!”

These two young adults have seen life through dark forests, and even now they are not fully clear of the thistles.

Taylor talks of young womanhood and charges the new generating to shape up, “’The next generation of guys need to treat their women better. It’s not just the way they act, that Cholo thing; it’s the media too. They are messed up and trained to look at women as less than. They look at us as ‘Ho’s’ and ‘Bitches.’ What’s even sadder is the women are buying into it too. I know this first hand, I used to live that way and know how it feels. Girls need to step up and the guys need to respect them.’”

It is remarkable to meet two young people with the depth of life perspective, and experience, as both Ben and Taylor possess. In listening to them, I am acutely aware of the conditions the youth of America endure. Both of these special kids show astonishing stamina, and show powerful desire to overcome their obstacles.

Ben is in the fight for focus, and Taylor is battling to find her way through a history of vice and rebellion. But in both of these outstanding emerging individuals I see one common voice. A voice standing strong in a unified call to action.

As I mentioned, “There is greatness in all of us,” and Ben and Taylor are seeking theirs.

Ben, Taylor, you are of a noble generation, may you grow to be all that you can, and be able to do your part in making the planet a better place, we are counting on you.

Now go live your greatest dreams, my young friend!

SideWalk Ghosts / Interview 173: “Quiet and Loving Greatness”

“’My dad said you can do anything you want to do if you work hard enough. He was very strict and I always addressed him with ‘yes sir’ or ‘no sir.’ He was a workaholic. I did not understand it at the time, but now I do. He was teaching me.’”
—Ramon

“I’ll never view our friendship the same.” After twenty years of both a professional and growing friendship, it is a pleasure to call Chrissy (not photographed) my friend.

For close to 20-years we’ve seen each others lives develop. From career advancements to our marriages we have always stayed in contact. In a world as competitive, and seasonal, as the entertainment industry, it is quiet a special thing to meet people like Chrissy.

She is a person of remarkable values, and whether in rain or shine, we have always managed to somehow stay in touch.

I start today’s entry using this tribute in crediting Chrissy as the purest way to light the marque in introducing our newest friend, Chrissy’s father Ramon – Age Ninety.

It is Ramon’s birthday party, and I have been invited to meet him. What I did not realize, is that other than immediate family, I am the only guest. I can’t tell you how humbled I am to find this out and to be privileged to be enjoying a home-made lunch with six of the warmest people I have ever met. All a credit to family unity and absolute love.

And to be a participant in celebrating the life of the man who set the bar for the values that Chrissy and her family radiate is an honor greater than winning any industry award.

This is what life’s about, family and the traditions therein; the families we came from, the families we are starting, or even the families we create in our friendships. And today, after over twenty years of friendship with Chrissy, I feel as if I have a larger family in spending time with her, her brother and family, and my new friend, her father, Ramon.

Ramon tells me of his childhood, “’My dad said you can do anything you want to do if you work hard enough. He was very strict and I always addressed him with ‘yes sir’ or ‘no sir.’ He was a workaholic. I did not understand it at the time, but now I do. He was teaching me.’”

On a shelf are photos of his father and mother, Chrissy gets them down and shows them to me.

“I remember working with dad, dad built a Mexican bakery and I worked there when I was in high school. We lived in a house behind it, and later built a store in the front.”

That store…? It is right next to Ramon’s niece’s house where we are having our birthday celebration. The store has been sold by the family now, but it still stands as recognition of Ramon’s fathers accomplishments.

“’My dad was a very good businessman, he said, ‘One day I’m going to own the whole block,’ and he did end us buying most of it.’”

With ninety years of rich history Ramon is remarkably clear in his detailed remembrance of his life. We talk of his earliest childhood memories. Family, his life as an athlete (very accomplished at football and baseball), living through wars, the growth of Long Beach, and of his marriage.

With tears, “My wife is a good woman, she always gave… worked for 40 years as a social worker. For ten years I worked at the same Catholic welfare center as she did. That’s where I met her. She was so smart and loving.”

Ramon breaks down in emotion as he tenderly talks about his wife. I’m chocked up by his show of tears and sitting next to us, as well touched by the moment, Chrissy says, “Did dad tell you why mom is not here?”

That’s part of the reason Ramon is gentle and watery eyed.

We talk of purpose, “I don’t fully know my purpose anymore” Ramon tears.

You see… Ramon’s wife is in deep stages of Alzheimer’s, and with the aid of a caregiver, he takes care of her full-time in the house of their dreams.

“I want her to be in her home,” Ramon shines.

I’m chocking up, “Might I suggest something?” I ask.

We pause and I call it as I see it, “You have raised a wonderful family, all intelligent, caring, self-sustaining and loving. Plus, you are doing all you can to give your sweetheart comfort. Perhaps that is a big part of your purpose?”

Ramon is a Christian, “We have to stay with Christianity,” he says. “I know it looks bleak, but with the help of God, I know it will all work out.”

We talk of the eternal perspective, a view shared by many faiths in one way or another, and a point that has given many of us comfort in times of trial or grief.

“Maybe in the eternal perspective, you and she will be together again,” I share as we shift subjects.

Ramon relates his wishes for us in a captivating way, sharing his life and relating it to his wishes for us.

“My dad taught me the importance of respect for family and work ethic. And working with my wife as a social worker I learned compassion and understanding.”

Ninety years walking the planet, Ramon has seen a lot, lived full and loved well. All evident in the children he has raised.

Ramon gives us insight as to preparing for the future, “Education, get as much as you can… Travel, and see the world. You have to see how other people live so you can see what the world really is and who people really are.”

“I was lucky enough to work as a social worker. I worked with all kinds of kids by day, and hard to reach groups by night. That, plus thirty years working in oil refinery with Arco helped me to travel and see things.”

Sure… A close friend of mine introduces me to her father Ramon; yet in meeting him I realize there are strangers nearer than we think. Could be a distant family member, a relation of a friend or even a link through a neighbor. But in the end, we are all a family of sorts in sharing this earth. And the more we reach out to meet whomever, the better we all will be.

Chrissy, Family and new friend Ramon, thanks for letting me into your lives.

And Ramon, your wisdom and love is felt by us all. Live long my friend.

SideWalk Ghosts / Interview 172: There Is Greatness In All Of Us

After last night’s quarter tank of fuel waste, I decide to walk my own backyard neighborhood, and to again give my friends at Cloud 9 Hookah Lounge a visit.

In the door I go and it’s instantly like a reunion, as I talk to Justin, “To Walk With Them As The Same.” We catch up a bit and he let’s me know of his enrollment in Hypnotherapy school and that he will be licensed in six months. It’s way cool to see someone following a purpose they feel deep inside. I know he will help many.

“How’s 365 going?” he asks.

I bring him up to speed, “Beyond my wildest dreams, the thing is really taking off and it is changing my life for the better. I’ve accepted that its purpose is greater than myself and I’m just following it wherever it takes me.”

In our conversation he introduces me to Karnnitha, a very chill lady who is hanging out with one of the owners of Cloud 9. I sit with them to exchange stories and soon Karnnitha agrees to share words with us.

I ask my questions, and her answers are well thought out and precise.

“Don’t let the little things push you away from what you want to do. Stay positive and things will work out,” she contributes.

“I’d like to one day see that the planet is OK, the economy in America better and a world at peace,” Karnnitha expands as we settle in to lengthening our conversation.

“What are you plans for your future?” I ask.

Her response impresses me to the core. You see, Karnnitha is a selfless giver, a rare and admirable quality for someone just barely twenty.

“I’m studying to be a dentist, and as soon as I finish my education, I intend to return to Cambodia, where I plan to help the poor and the sick, and more importantly, do all I can to stop sex trafficking.”

Sex trafficking, an epidemic blotch on the face of society and a hideous atrocity of the greatest magnitude towards humanity. I’ve run into so many people who are engaged or intent on entering the fight against the de-humanization and literal evil of the human trafficking industry. That’s right? Industry! Billions of dollars in scale! How sick is that!

Our conversation takes me back to all that I learned from Lucy O’Brian, “The Power Of One” eighty-one days ago and reaffirms my commitment to at least do all I can to raise the awareness of the dreadful impact the sex trade has on the lives of so many women, and horrible to say, innocent children.

Karnnitha’s life purpose is a tribute to her maturity, the depth of her compassion, and her commitment to help in the fight to abolish the perversions of the sex for sale industry.

And if we think we are safe in America, Karnnitha enlightens us, “It’s not just a problem in Cambodia, it a huge problem worldwide, and very profitable in the United States.”

Very profitable in the United States… Bounces like a confirming echo to the facts that Lucy shared with us. Findings that she knows first hand from her ten years in the fields of fighting the human trafficking war. And Karnnitha is at Lucy’s tail feathers in getting up to speed in her efforts to further the works of all those so anxiously engaged it the fight.

It’s a wonderful thing to meet a young woman with such advanced values, and I compliment Karnnitha on her maturity, her life perspective and her courage in stepping up to do her part in working for human rights and the basic dignity that all should be able to enjoy.

“It’s not all me,” Karnnitha credits, “My parents taught me to never judge, to accept people for who they are, to be caring, loving and to be giving. That is a big part of why I am who I am.”

On her arms is a series of Tattoos, all with meanings honoring her family and friends. She tells me of her siblings and the love and time she has dedicated to helping her brother who is inflicted with multiple illnesses. “I’ve had to grow up fast and I like my life right now,” Karnnitha pronounces.

My schooling carries on, feels like I’m getting a Master’s Degree in understanding. An understanding that no matter where we are in life, or whom we appear to be on the outside, the potential for greatness is inside of us all.

We really can’t judge a book by its cover. For tonight, in a cool little Hookah Lounge, and in the heart of a young woman who is seemingly chill, lies the compassionate of a great lion of human rights activism.

Karnnitha, bless you in all you do! You inspire us all.

SideWalk Ghosts / Interview 171: “Do As You Believe.”

“171 days at sea and still no sight of land,” the first mate says as the ship nears its last provisions. And even though the crew’s morale is low, the favoring currents and prevailing winds push the vessel on. Hope is, soon land will appear.

“Hey Richard, you are not a screenwriter, why the theatrics?”

I’m a visual thinker, and the ship at sea parable is the easiest way to express the emotion I face this evening after four hours of socializing with the world around me, and receiving zero interest from anyone to contribute to 365.

First a long drive, then a coffee-house visit, followed be more driving in seeking any form of inspiration. Even considered photographing my television set and calling it a stranger.

Yet, as my leg numbing drive arrives at its fullest height, a voice in my head points me back to a Ralphs Supermarket near my home.

“Why?” I mentally ask myself. “I’ve been there far too often, and usually am greeted with countless, ‘not interested’ responses.”

Gas is almost $5.00 a gallon and with the prospect of wasting way too much of it in aimless sailing, I succeed to my minds prompting and redirect my course to said Ralphs.

Now you have to picture the scene, it nights, the parking lot is dimly lit, an evening chill is setting in and there is this camera yielding dude stalking the parking lot. Would you stop to talk to him at 10:00pm while hurrying to get your weeks groceries? I’ll leave it at that.

Four rejections right off the bat; I’ve got only a few hours until the clock strikes twelve, and if it does, I’m painfully reset back to day one of 365. I’ve promised myself, and you, 365 consecutive days (with leap year, it’s even 366 days), and to miss one day is to blow the challenge.

Here I am, Sunday night, the streets are clearing and I’m starting to sweat bullets. I’m tired, stressed, miss my family, and really do want to respect the boundaries of what I assume is everyone’s desire to end their week.

I’m now bouncing from decline to decline; yet, as moved forward by my earlier mentioned emotional reference of the land seeking ship at sea, I sail forward.

It’s a difficult thing to keep morale up, but with the mission of 365 anchoring me, I cannot allow myself to scuttle the ship.

With a polite smile on his face, another unknown gentleman turns me down, “not tonight.”

No more counting Richard, just start asking everyone, I submit to whatever happens, happens, and at that moment, I turn to my right, seeing a very beautiful and healthy lady, packing a few bags of groceries into her car.

Yea, this is going to work, creepy dude with camera, single lady, at night, in a parking lot. Looks more like abduction to me. But, I’m trashed from the last four hours of wandering, and with a shaking voice, I approach her.

“Hello, My name is Richard, I’m a photographer, and I promise I’m not a creep. I live just around the corner, have a daughter, a wife and am working on a documentary project.”

I tell her, of how long I’ve been wandering this evening, and promise her I am not trying to guilt her into contributing. “I thought I’d just humble up and tell you what is going on with my project tonight,” I emote.

Krista is her name, and how wonderful she is. Without pause, she launches into a set of concerns that are magnificently in tune with the topics of the week; namely, the environment, free will and the perversions of political and corporate greed.

“Don’t get me wrong,” Krista starts, “I’m not bagging on religion, politics, or any right-wing agendas, but I am not happy with what is going on and suggest that everyone take a good look at what, and who they endorse or support.”

Krista is hailing on us all to be aware of the consequences resulting from the decisions of large money mongers, and requests that we take that into account in gauging our actions towards whom we support and how responsible we are in living our lives.

“What is sad,” she tells us with a resolve to her concern, “there is too much money at stake in large companies and political agendas, and yes, it is hard to compete with that… but we all need to do what we can.”

“Like what?”  I ask.

“Don’t get me started.” Krista responds as she jumps into a couple of grand topics, the environment and the FDA.

“Organic food, that such a joke, sure big corporate greed calls it organic Chicken, because they inject it with no hormones. But what the don’t say is what they feed to the Chickens. And what they feed to them is definitely not organic. So in the end, we are still eating food with hormones and chemicals in it.” Krista informs.

“And the chemicals we absorb? The FDA approves Aspartame as a sweetener and we eat it in things we don’t even realize contain it. It’s messing up our seed. I’m not talking about things like worrying about Cancer, it’s beyond Cancer, it’s all the hormones we are all-consuming. I am concerned about the future; the stuff that is going into our bodies is going to mutate us. I’m scared for how the kids of tomorrow will turn out.”

As we talk an SUV pulls in, “That’s my friend, I’m meeting him here for a few minute of business, I’m sure he has a lot to say,” Krista lets me know.

He pulls into the slip next to where we are parked and as he exits his truck, Krista introduces us, “Andy, want to answer a few questions for a blog this guy is doing?”

Without hesitation, Andy is in.

“Tell Andy the questions?” Krista asks.

In replying to advice for the world, Andy shares a point of view, “Organized religion will continue to keep the world in strife, and will eventually be the reason for our demise.”

An atomic bomb of an opening statement, but one that leads to a great conversation regarding the free will of man.

Andy seeds the conversation, “People believe in their families and their beliefs. That is a hard wall to get past.

Look at history, wars, genocide, whether tribal beliefs or cultural differences, it all ties into the retributions of political systems.

At one point I was OK with saying, do what you are going to do, but now I can’t say that anymore. It all affects us now.”

I express that I am active in an organized religion, and propose a counterpoint. One in which we see eye-to-eye. What I propose is a discussion on hypocrisy in posing a question, “Is it wholly the religion, or the acts of the men committing atrocities in the name of religion?”

We talk about this point for a while. Andy is open in his beliefs, “I’m an Agnostic Jew,” he shares. I totally respect his courage as we talk of the unity of man in respecting each other, regardless of religion.

“Corruption is corruption, and in the end I will always stand on the side that shows the most humility and throws the least blame.” I express the Andy.

We nod in agreement on this point. After a long evening of searching, I know why I end up only steps from my home, to have this discussion with Krista and Andy.

Both are evangelists for the freedom of mankind and spokespeople for the betterment of the planet.

My opinion, in the end regardless of faith, orientation, gender or creed, one aspect is universal, we need to look at each other as fellow humans and drop the focus on judging personal beliefs in growing to allow all to worship as they see fit, and to fight to facilitate that freedom.

In fairness to myself, I can’t say organized religion will continue to keep the world in strife, but I can warn that if followed without humility and true love for one another, it probably will be a part in our demise.

Andy states, “At one point I was OK with saying, do what you are going to do, but now I can’t say that anymore. It all affects us now.”

I understand Andy’s worry. It is based upon history, and the results of many a hypocrite. But leaning towards the silver lining of hope, may there come a time when, in our circle of influence, we can at least safely say, “Do as you believe.”

Perhaps then, we can get the critical masses to address other issues, like the planet, humanity and a peaceful future.

I know, “Richard, you are a hopeless optimist!”

I can live with that label, and humbly pass it on in sincerely wishing for others to adopt it. As hard a label as it is to tote, at the end of the day, and perhaps with the right momentum and perspective, we can all do our parts in influencing those around us to carry good works forward. We all have hope buried within. My wish is that we all find it. Good things do come from the smallest of gestures and I will not cease in my claim, the power of one is remarkable.

Krista, Andy, thank you both for your perspectives.

SideWalk Ghosts / Interview 170: “Anarchy Scares Me”

Let us keep moving forward in our effort to unite as a people. Day 170 has hit us and 365 is moving so fast. I can’t believe that in less than two weeks we will be at the halfway point. Not sure how we are going to celebrate this mid-point mark. If anyone has a suggestion, please pass it on. And whatever we decide to do, lets thinks of a way to get the message out further.

“We are all in this thing together,” I never get tired of saying it, and I sincerely hope it is becoming a mantra to us all. One-by-one may we pass it forward as a tribute to the individual influence we are to the world around us. We are a powerful bunch and with our united voice the combined acts we carry forward are nothing to ignore.

I know, it’s crazy to me in seeing how my photographer’s blog has evolved to carry a social message. And weirder yet, I’m starting to become an activist of some kind. That is something that has occurred beyond my control. I must express my appreciation to all who have helped to form the basis of my blogs content, over 200 photographs, and in excess of 150,000 words to date. All with meaning that is not of me, but of my strangers turned friends. Perspectives that are further fueled by the dedicated following of you, my readers. Please keep the comments coming. And by all means, keep passing it on.

I run into another friend today who edifies our effort in seeing beyond the veil of cultural difference, “Don’t let religious differences or politics get in the way of us existing globally. What is important is the health of the planet and learning to coexist peacefully,” Opening advice from producer, father and writer, Rusty.

I meet Rusty at the garage sale of another new friend of mine. Garage sale is a huge understatement. It is more of a high-end gem and antique store hidden in the veins of suburbia lifestyle.

I’d like to spend this whole entry talking on my buddies sale, but needless to say, the story here has to be dedicated to Rusty.

Rusty expresses a concern regarding a block to the world he wishes for. A world where more will have a greater respect for the environment and humanity. “Corporate greed will not let that happen,” he warns.

Yet he does expose a glimmer of hope in charging us to duty. “It is kind of scary seeing what is happening, but in this is the age of information, we can create a domino effect in getting the word out, to open people’s eyes. We have the ability to stir up the pot.”

I have kids; I’m worried about this country and about what the future will bring for them, and us all.

In the 50’s we worried about Russia and the cold war. My children won’t have to deal with things like that. Now the war is with ourselves, and I wonder what is going on behind the closed doors of corporations and politics. But it is good that more and more people are starting to open their eyes.”

“How do we repair the damage,” Rusty proposes.

He answers his own query, “We have to become proactive, I don’t want to see a collective anarchy or people over reacting. Anarchy scares me, but if we do fall to it, I hope that once the dust settles, we will be in a better place.”

Even tough Rusty and I speak of the worries of anarchy there is a real peace in our conversation. A peace that I will admit is core to my spiritual outlook on life. But a peace that has been strengthened by the many who have graciously accepted my invitations to contribute to 365. And yes, even those who have mocked me over the last few months have collectively contributed to the song that we are beginning to sing.

There are a lot of great people on this planet; I know this first hand in meeting many of them. For this, I am grateful for Rusty’s words.

May we all be united in building a better planet. The time is right and the seeds are planted. It is up to us to nurture the garden in growing respect for one another. One kind word or act is more influential than we think. As Rusty advises, “We have to become proactive.”

SideWalk Ghosts / Interview 169: “Pay It Forward”

Pet lovers of the world unite in saying hello to Captain Morgan, the leader of today’s 365 brigade.

My daughter and I come across he and his human life guides, Diane and John, as we are enjoying an afternoon bike ride. I know, another tribute to the weather of California, February and it feels like spring. Well, you probably don’t have to worry about earthquakes or strange politics. So we all have our pros and cons in where we live, I guess.

My daughter is cute and one of the biggest 365 fans. And with that, I must accept her suggestions when it comes to meeting friends. Here we are, whipping around the neighborhood in two-wheeled bliss, when upon the audible call of the infamous Captain Morgan, my daughter say, “Dad! We have to talk to them.”

I oblige. “Hello, please forgive me if I am interrupting your walk, but my daughter told me I need to talk to you,” I say as I introduce ourselves in explaining 365.

Sort of feels like a vintage moment, a flashback to eras past. Times where neighbors rallied together on a daily basis, socializing on the street or yard side in bonding to happily know the people in the house next door.

Shamefully I have to admit, ten years in my home and I am only just now beginning to meet the people living in my neighborhood. Another partial motivator to our daily bike rides. Both my kid and I have learned to give our greeting to all that we pass, and it’s been incredible getting to know those I live close to on a new level.

I’m blown away at how much diversity there can be in the smallest of areas, and through getting to know my neighbors, I encourage you to do the same. I promise you will not regret the effort.

And as it turns out, my daughter is very inspired in asking me to approach, Diana, John and, of course, Captain Morgan.

We let Mr. Morgan go first in relieving himself of his barking, after all, he is the Captain, and upon his approving sniff, are granted audience with his entourage, the smiling and wonderfully warm-hearted Diane and John.

They speak as one, another sign of the warmth of their character and love for one another. Neither step on the others words and with charm, and well-synched responses, they listen and support each other with the greatest of peace. And in the fast paced culture of today, it is encouraging to be sharing time with a couple that is definitely on the same page in enjoying simple time together.

Diane urges us to smile for no reason. “Pay it forward,” she instructs, and looking at John she becomes a spokesperson, “We’d like to a world and a future where people are more community oriented instead of so individualistic.”

The Captain obviously agrees as he cheers out to a passing cat.

I find out that Diane and John share a common vocation; both are schoolteachers. And through this, it becomes apparent they are putting their priorities into action.

In expressing their wishes for us, “Give kids lot of hugs and enjoy them as kids… And always… family is first,” Diane say, accompanied again by John’s engaged expression of agreement.

John takes his turn, “I’d like to see a day when more people are being honest. So many people hide things. If we would learn to listen to each other, and have a sense of humor about life, not taking things too seriously, we would probably look at each other in a different way. And hopefully learn to trust, but we need to a least be able to laugh.”

“It would also be great to see a throwback in time, with less technology in our daily lives,” John states in advancing his outlook on the future.

Now I’ve lost count, how many times have we heard this?

Don’t take he or I wrong. We both agree that there is a place, and time, for the greatness of the technology we have. The point is, as we have heard in the ongoing caution we keep hearing from many of our 365 friends: We need to focus on creating a balanced life.

And how do we achieve this balance. That’s a personal question for us all to reflect upon. But to reinforce this reflection, Diane reveals a few pointers through her outlook towards the children of this new tech absorbed generation. “We need to spend more time playing outside, getting active, using our hands and creativity. You know, picking up a stick or a rock, and just going to town.”

I’m sure this idea hits us all at a deep down core level. I’m 50 and am again embracing my childhood self. And you know what? Life is somehow lightening up; while at the same time my adult self in growing in focus and purpose.

Work is still moving forward, family fun and issues are still occurring, and my aches are still here. But who cares, I’m breathing, growing and cohabitating in this planet the best I can.

Some days I am successful and on others I fail miserably. A fact of life we are all subject to, and a fact that if viewed with the correct glasses, is actually the fruit of life.

Pick up a stick or a rock, and just go to town,” Diane instructs.

“It would also be great to see a throwback in time, with less technology in our daily lives,” John dreams.

Each reasons for consideration in aiding us to open our eyes in deciding how we will address each day of our temporal existence.

May we consider the eyes of the child, looking upon one another with accepting eyes and trusting hearts. Or at least instill these virtues, with a dose of discernment, to the emerging generation of our future leaders.

Diane, talks of hugs… and enjoying kids as kid… and always… family is first,”

In her words I see an outline of actions. First, teach our children, and ourselves, compassion, honesty and an educated outlook towards both the good and bad of the world (the key to discernment); and secondly, to drop guile, judgments and prejudices in reaching out.

Diane prompts us, “A world where people are helping each other, like cleaning a yard, going out and doing some type of random act of kindness. It would be great if that became the norm.”

With a smile, Diane shares a joke, but there is relevance in her humor. “Use your turn signals,” she laughs.

It’s funny how many of our 365 friends have cited avoiding road rage as an example of compassion toward mankind. Helps us to ask this question, “What other small acts can we do each day?”

Diane, John and Captain Morgan, a pleasure spending sidewalk time together. And leaning on Diane’s opening council, may we all, “Pay It Forward!”

SideWalk Ghosts / Interview 168: Beyond The Bicep Curl

Being a right/left brain conflicted person, I have learned to live a life dedicated to exploration. And as a byproduct, have grown to respect the life expanding gifts of our intellectual and spiritual selves, a possible a motivator to my career path and my absolute intrigue with humanity.

Biologically, we are made up of similar DNA, and obviously the physical and psychological sciences have tried their best to find methods of classifying the individual. Yet, even with the lengthiest studies, several answers are still unattainable: Finding a definition of the ultimate truth as well as the ability to foresee the development and ultimate ability of an individual.

Webster’s defines truth as, “A transcendent fundamental or spiritual reality”

“Truth?” The basis of a global quest, and the genesis to a search that leads all of us on our own personal treks in this, the human experience. A voyage that is ever-changing and each day brings a unique mix of difficulties, disillusionments, fantasies found and dreams won.

As predictable as science works to make it, there is really only one constant we can wholly embrace in seeking the ultimate answer, “We all have our agency and the ultimate truth is different for us all.”

With this, that transcendent fundamental or spiritual reality Webster’s defines becomes an extremely personal consideration.

Enter Eric, established sports trainer and graduate student of Philosophy.

In addressing us, Eric speaks of truth, “Be very leery and cautions around people who claim to have the truth.

Truth is a mental construct… one that we are continually trying to construct.

Ultimately, it is different for us all, but bottom line, we are all seeking an understanding of our origins (where we are from), our purpose (why we are here) and our fate (where we are going). This is what makes us uniquely human and able to think rationally and creatively.”

Eric is a captivating, and sitting in the office of his training studio, we embark in a philosophical discussion regarding his points on the nature of truth.

We question the sources of truth and ponder methods of finding it. From our discussion, Eric interjects a set on wisdoms:

On acceptance:
“Some think more creatively and some think more rationally, but for everyone, the truth can be either known or unknown, and we need to accept that we are all in different phases of our journey, and how we each view truth is very personal.”

On perception:
“The greatest threat we face is illiteracy disguised as thoughtfulness.

On knowledge:
“Lack of education creates our own dogma. We need to learn to think beyond our own boundaries and to question more… then more… and even more.”

On compassion:
“Our kids have to know that they are loved and safe. And with this foundation, they can have a healthy self-perspective and a base in growing to be a human being that is able to contribute to society.”

On humanity:
“I’d like to see us evolve as one global community as to what we seek, who and what we honor and how we love.”

On the future:
“I’d like to know that my kids will be in a world where they can feel loved and secure.”

“We need to be able to live in the moment,” Eric charges, a claim that we have heard by many. However, he takes it to a different level in steering the thought away from himself.

“Can you elaborate on living in the moment?” I ask.

Eric’s answer, “One person at a time.”

“Chin Up And Eyes Open To The World,” the action point that has become a fundamental in our 365 purpose, and in Eric’s five words, one person at a time, he has called us to our best.

“Life and finding real truth is a process,” Eric voices.

“And to find it we must search and not blindly follow the first perceived cornel of truth.”

As for me, one thing I know is constant, human is a fascinating species, and their truth is in all of us.

Eric, keep seeking, and may we all get outside ourselves, one person at a time.

My friend, you have inspired us all!

SideWalk Ghosts / Interview 167: A Physical Web

Many say it is a small world, and with the advancement of streaming technology and the instant chatting readily offered to us in the online social realms, our world is getting even smaller. And as we have explored throughout our 365 chronicles, the digital age has connected, and that is not necessarily a bad thing.

Yet at times, as we sit in our spheres of high-tech isolation, we overlook the physical mysteries of attraction and cease to pursue the resulting connections. In some fantastic way 365 is teaching us to look beyond our keypads and racing texting fingers, pushing us to think past our modern habits and to lean on the nostalgia of prioritizing real face-to-face interaction.

Technology is a wonderful thing; it is here to stay and is gaining hold of in our lives at an astounding pace. No stone is void of its impact, from medical to environmental and beyond it has the capability of either edifying us or warning us. Edified through the availability of easily accessible information and voyeuristically safe communication, and warned that we must be aware that we are at risk of creating a world where we are mostly virtually connected and at risk of loosing that which makes us powerfully symbiotic, that being the sensory experience of interacting with humanity in the flesh.

And here is what I am finding out, the physical world has a way of creating its own web, a tangible set of measurable connections that if we allow, guides us all together in surprisingly uncanny ways.

I’m sure you have all had those, “I can’t believe I’ve run into you” experiences. There very strange and unexplainable, maybe it’s a deja vu moment, an unexpected meeting or re-union, but whatever it is, may I propose a deep thought, what if it they are more than coincidence?

Perhaps there are scientific or natural laws of attraction? We’ve heard a few perspectives regarding the topic during our 365 travels, and I’m positive we’ll hear more as we proceed. But lately the premise of attraction has been smacking at me at an advancing pace.

Yeh, I’ve already encountered a few bazaar encounters, like my Hawaii friend Nathan’s link to his cousin who I California interviewed only a week earlier, or the closure between my sister and her first boyfriend (he even lived several homes from my Las Vegas childhood address when I was 8. Ron is his name and after 40 years of curiosity and through a prompting I received to visit his antique store, they both received closure. Or how about as I interviewed our friend of day 156, my running into friend of day thirty-three, over forty miles from where he and I met 123 days prior.

Feasibly, I may just be entertaining a romantic notion, but what if there is a glimmer of truth to this law of attraction? Could there be a physical manifestation of attracted interaction? Or a subconscious and unseen reason facilitating the interactions we find ourselves involved in? A greater reason for life encounters? Possible? But in the end, I don’t know? I’ll tell you what though; I’m at least willing to consider the possibility.

Enter today’s friend, Luigi, a man I run into through a set of connection with 365 friends. I’m walking home from lunch and while doing so run into Alishia, my friend of way back, day three to be exact. We chat for a few minutes, when as we are talking, she receives a call to return home to meet her friends. Now she live blocks from my home, and in my stroll, I again come across Alishia. The friend she is meeting, Hector (actually her cousin). If you don’t remember, Hector is the manager of Follow Your Heart, the man who Corinne (Day 144) referred me to.

With Hector is Luigi, friend of Roberto (the man Hector helped me interview on day 157). And Luigi is about to become friends with us all. What is even more interesting – he is extremely empowered with a shared mission of his own, a mission that is absolutely in tandem with that of 365.

Is this meeting inspired or not? Again, I don’t know, but what if it is? We have to allow consideration, that conceivably, it could be evidence of some type to an invisible magnetic web which possesses real influence to direct us together in a tapestry of connections? And if it does exist, can we learn to listen to it, using it as a tool in linking humanity? An interesting premise, don’t you think?

Luigi is prepping for a bike ride with his friends, and as he prepares we have a casual conversation. Luigi’s personality is a balanced blend of mellow manners and passionate intellect. He holds no punches in his passion for a healthy society and in beginning our interview advises, “Try to unite as best with everybody, we are all one and we are all unique.”

As I mentioned, Luigi is in perfect alignment with the 365 out-reach.

He pauses from his bike prep and looking me right in the eyes, he carries on, “That’s the truth and deep down everybody knows it, but they forget and start doing things that are not supposed to be done. They loose touch.”

The future? Luigi is hopeful, “I know we are going towards a positive change, where everybody will be sharing more, and being able to bypass all the differences.

2012 is here, and it is supposed to be some kind of awakening. Look at all that is happening, disease, pollution and all kinds of terrible things. We have to change. It is obvious that people need to unite as soon as we can.

We need to find out what this earth is about, and need to stop procrastinating in the process of sharing and union. We need to help each other, to respect the planet and to find ways of technology for good,” Luigi platforms.

As he departs for his bike ride, Luigi backs his optimistic prediction with a dose of accountability, “Look at what all the greed of the earth has created. Too many look at self-interest and not the benefits of the sharing process, and money is not happiness.”

SideWalk Ghosts / Interview 166: “I Want To Bang On The Drum All Day”

The volume is deafening, but there is no pain of hearing. Pulsating rhythm pounds the atmosphere and the energy of the scene is infectious.

Gathered is an eclectic community of CEO’s, artists, blue-collar, white-collar, doctors, parents, teens, kids, sick, poor, healthy, rich, disabled, lost and found. All engaged in one united purpose, to escape their analytical selves.

Time has stopped and I find myself part in an experience that is nothing short of supernatural; an immense gathering of diversity, talents and life experience all bound in expressing the gift of music, and all void of any political banter, religious pronouncements or any kind of class distinction.

There is no judgment, insecurity or comparison present, and in the words of Remo Belli, host of the drum circle I find myself, and my family, participating in, “A collection of artistic talent demonstrating the unlimited possibilities in all to be able to express ourselves in ways other than the spoken word.”

Driving us is Arthur, his compassion and rhythmic talent is glorious. One can’t help to be drawn in by his vitality. They call him a facilitator, but I view him as a magician of humanity. In a remarkable way, he has captured us all, and he, in combination to our release of internal-self, has directed us towards a union that is absolutely inescapable – Magical!

Arthur is brilliant, yet with the responsibility of his commitment to our conclave of harmonious individuality, I am not able to interview him, but to not mention his contribution to the evening would be a great disservice.

He must be given tribute as a confirmer of the 365 message regarding the power of one. I’m honored to be in the presence of Arthur in witnessing first hand the ability of one in connecting humanity. And to his credit, as well as for our edification, Arthur proves that we all have talents hidden within.

I’m not talking of musical skills; I’m talking of overcoming the obstacle of outlook. Sure he is a trained musician of powerful ability, but in todays drum circle, we all have pushed ourselves to discover a deeper conscientious. One that has freed us all to look at one another with open eyes, looking beyond the influences of external impression, and for this purpose he travels the world in bringing people together through the gift of rhythm.

Yet Arthur is one in the company, meet John, another facilitator who is participating in the evening’s magic. John is not the lead of the circle and takes time to speak with us.

“Do your best to live in the present,” John advises.

An attitude that perhaps many of us prescribe to, yet John spins it in a particularly interesting way by not pointing it toward himself, “I’d like to see a place where people overcome the empathy barrier, and a world that is focused on living more like a community.”

In expanding on this idea, John gives us a proposed method to its fulfillment, “Trust in God, but teach your camel first. Meaning listen to yourself and be courageous enough to trust and to listen, but also keep a healthy balance of skepticism.”

And to do so, John imparts a life tip to us, “Respect your intuition as to who people are, and once you receive it, act on it.”

John radiates acceptance, something that I personally experienced trough his humor and desire to uplift others. A point that shows itself when upon inviting him contribute to 365 he says, “Yeh, I’ll do it, but first you go play the drums for a while, I’m here until the end. Go have time with your family, we can talk later.”

John is a “what can I do to make your life better?” kind of guy, and in his seemingly small gesture, he looked beyond himself, and unknowingly blessed my family with a much needed unforgettable memory. (John, much appreciated, my friend).

All around the Remo facility are affirmations to unity, Celebrate Family on the East wall, Art Beat for Humanity of the South wall, and the flags of the world fly everywhere overhead.

Sure, Remo is in the business of selling drums, has an overhead and I’m certain is aware enough to respect the P&L’s, but signs tell me that this is a company built on values, rather than profit alone.

And as a result, Remo is positioned as a leading brand in a very competitive industry. Makes one think twice about the culture of industry.

The night is not over and I get the opportunity to meet another Remo friend, manager Mike.

The drum circle has concluded, and time is short, with Mike needing to answer questions from the many others who are attending the event. Still he finds time to graciously speak with us.

“I’d like to see us all grow up to an acceptance of diversity,” Mike starts.

Are you beginning to see a theme…? I am.

Remo Belli talks of the unlimited possibilities in all of us to be able to express ourselves in ways other than the spoken word.

A wonderful statement that so supports Johns point of overcoming the empathy barrier and in carving a path to the future he dream of, a world focused on living more like a community.

Mike anchors his opening comment with realistic words of maturity, “I’d also like to see healthy conflict. We can’t avoid it, but we can learn to work it out,” council that we are hearing for the first time.

We’ve talked often of dreams, positive outlooks, dropping judgment and of acceptance, but we have not addressed conflict, although we have touched on it through a few of our dialogues with a several of our 365 friends.

But Mike lays it out as it is (thanks for bringing this to our attention).

We talk of resolve and of commitment to follow through on situations that many would turn their backs to. The point, if it is worth discussing, don’t let it drop. If we do, we may be loosing out on the opportunity for personal growth, or better yet, strengthening a relationship by working out core issues. Too many of us view conflict as something to completely avoid, something that is impossible to do.

And in Mike’s concept of “healthy conflict,” he empowers us with the permission to work it out.

This has been an enlightening day, in life, in business and in 365. Upon my arrival to Remo this evening I was fatigued, and thanks to all in attendance, I pleased to say, “I leave uplifted.”

We really are in this thing together. There must have been over one hundred in the drum circle tonight. I don’t know all of their stories, but one thing I know is absolute, we are all heading home united.

And if the experience of living can be compared to the unity absorbed this evening, then I can only state one thing,I want to bang on the drum all day.”

SideWalk Ghosts / Interview 165: “That Rose There”

“Hello” – quite a basic word and one that has been the genesis to countless amazing conversations I’ve had throughout the life of 365. It’s a salutation, as low-key as it is, that has propelled us to amazing interactions with the world during the last four months. And I take this as an acknowledgement in encouraging us in our 365 charge, “Chins up and eyes open to the people around us.”

This charge alone has changed my life, as well as my outlook of everyone I pass each and every day.

“Hello” has become second nature to me now, and I have learned to accept whatever is returned to my gesture. I will not disillusion us, much of society is skeptical and justifiably so. There are more scams on the street than I can name. And with intrusive solicitors knocking on our doors and phoning as if they have privilege to interrupt our precious time, it is completely understandable for the need of a protective street shell.Yet this shell can also be our greatest nemesis, isolating ourselves from the opportunity to broaden our scope in appreciating the people around us.

“Hello” – what’s the harm in sharing it? And if said with it sincerity its results can be pretty astounding. The key is to expect nothing in return, and to not compose any pre-conceptions of those you are acknowledging.

Just throw it out, to anybody, anywhere, anytime; some may smile back, others shiver nervously at its gesture, and if you are lucky, some may slow in acceptance to further conversation (and how cool is that). But at the end of the day what really matters is the seed you planted, and I’m sure that your gesture makes a deeper impact than you realize. This is a fact that after interfacing with at least five hundred strangers since the inception of 365, I have come to know.

I say regularly, “I am not directing 365, it is directing me.”

And through your readership, and I hope your acts, we are all-embracing the power of “hello,” adapting it into our every day living. Its impact is powerful and its ability to heal many a weary person and to unite humanity is remarkable.

So here is a gift to you, translations for “hello,” http://www.ipl.org/div/hello. Use them as you may and I’m sure that many of us would love to hear your stories of reaching out to the world with your “hellos.” So please feel free to comment your experiences. Remember, “We are in this thing together.”

Most of my day today has been confined to my desk in completing business agendas. And when 8:00pm rolls around, its time for me to steal a break in running off to Starbuck’s for a soothing herbal tea.

Starbuck’s, you owe me a cent of two for the plugging of your stores, but I can’t help returning there; the free WiFi is so convenient and the cake counter is my refuge (Don’t tell my wife, she has me on a diet). (Wow – things you learn about while proofreading – TR)

The place is fairly busy, with many curled up into their own homesteaded table, ear-phoned and eyes glued to the laptops. I appreciate everyone’s privacy, and deem it extremely creepy to start talking to a person who is obviously doing all they can to escape from the humanity that surrounds them.

My take, it’s explainable for those who are studying or deep into business matters, but to see those, who by choice, decide to isolate from the experience of society is a sad thing to witness.

So I just nod and smile, some smile back, some wiggle focus back to their space, but no one attacks me, it’s not like I’m holstering an Uzi. And if they think I’m a prowler, deviant or social misfit, at least and I can sleep knowing that I’m probably a topic for entertainment in telling their friends, “What was with the scary smiling dude at Starbuck’s?”

As I mentioned, the place is fairly busy, and with all tables filled with, I’m in my space citizens, I recline to the patio where I throw a “hello” to a fascinating gentleman, and to my honor, a man that I can now call friend. Who is this chap? Say “hello” to investor, husband, father, spiritual giant and poet, Gordon.

Over hot beverages we talk for around an hour, covering topics ranging from religion and spirituality, to business and politics to family life, society and its future.

Gordon has seen a lot in his life, and is a captivating conversationalist. A highly educated and successful investor, he lives bi-coastal and has a deep understanding of the world and the issues we all are subject to.

Our conversation is high paced and I find it impossible to accurately take note to all we talk of. But there is one through-line to our discussion, “I don’t believe in specific miracles, the way I see it, ‘Just being here is a miracle in itself.’” Gordon shares.

We talk about the experience of life, and sharing where we both are at in life compared to the lessons to be learned in all that we do, difficult times to the best of moments.

I’ve lately been creating another philosophy, it disputes the “grass is greener on the other side” theory.

My philosophy? “The grass on the other side is just grass.” Meaning, we are not walking in the other’s shoes, so to draw any conclusion is unjust. I was taking to a friend in the medical profession the other day, and we addressed this point with his observation of seeing many of his so-called successful and rich, colleagues deep in unhappy and unfulfilled lives.

That contrasted with the experiences shared with me from another one of my friends upon his return from South America. “I spent time in a very poor village, and everyone was happy and content with life. There was love, laughter and peace.”

The grass is the same grass, no need to compare and, as Gordon proclaims, “Just being here is a miracle in itself.”

Leaves us a few points for consideration in examining this question, “Do we accept our daily miracles, or do we live by comparison and regret for what we don’t have?”

Perhaps we are created that we may have joy: Gordon’s suggested miracle of life.

The evening is getting late, 10:00pm, and in departing Gordon recites one of his poems for us. It’s titled, “That Rose There,” and goes like this:

My yesterday the rose was gone all that remained a vine of thorn.

But today a new bud was there and the prickly vine is no longer bare.

Amidst the branches of broken sticks, the climbing rose had made its fix

Although its flowers quickly died more colors burst from buds that hide

Because the tree of life grows the same way, twenty-two branches from each day and as those days are completely done, they fade into tomorrow’s sun.

Bursting as proud as light once there, touching the hearts that we’ve grown to share.

Just as the sun sets in the West, morning comes to another crest.

You leave this life to go somewhere and you bring that new rose there.

©2012 Gordon R. Hummel

Gordon, a pleasure sharing a cuppa with you. See you at Starbuck’s.