portraiture

Jokingly he says, “I’m like Yoda, aren’t I?”

But in his jest there is an air of truth. Like a good friend of mine says, “The truth is in the joke.”

It’s been a full day, and one that has pushed me to miss my time stamp in posting my entry today. I can’t believe it. Wrote the article at 5:00am this morning, knowing that I would be tied up in a casting session all day. My thinking was that I would press the publish button at lunch.

My plan falters when a real lunch break does not happen. So at 5:27pm with the room cleared of the last few talent, my stomach turns. 194 days of perfection in posting time stamps, not one date skipped, how perfect is that.

And today I miss my posting by only twenty-three minutes, and the irony is that I’ve been ready to post for twelve hours. I’ve got to say, even though I have not missed a day of meeting a stranger, I take my missed time stamp as a great failure.

My head is low, and I feel as if I have let you down. But by no means can I accept a twenty-three minute time miss as a reason to quit 365.

What can I say? Got to let go a little and give myself a little slack I guess, everyone misses a beat now and then.

But I think you can read into the trouble I’m having in letting go of the error, even as I write, that I am very hard on myself regarding my commitments. Or perhaps I am whining. I don’t really know want I am feeling. It’s strange; stress and relief flow through me; two of the most opposite emotions, but the mind wave in my head none-the-less. Brainwaves that I just can’t shake as I close my business day with a final farewell to the staff at our rented studio, 5^th and Sunset (a Los Angeles destination for smooth production and accommodating service).

Into the production offices I go, you know, the general business stuff.

“We’re done; how do you want to handle billing?”

I’m met by owner, Keith, and there is something about him that is greater than the usual business etiquette. It’s in his eyes, in a situation where many would jump right to end-of-day billing matters, Keith’s major concern is, “How did your day go?”

Again, no real big deal, sounds like a usual customer service query. Except with Keith I sense something deeper than the expected business mask that many wear in their daily professional affairs.

Keith is real, and in his how did your day go? I am drawn to know more of his outlook.

Without much prompting Keith steps up, actually steps out from a conversation with staff, to  join 365 by sharing his perspective.

We find a quiet spot in the reception area of the studio complex and, grabbing a seat in a set of funky barber chairs, I ask question one: “What words of wisdom would you like to share with the world?”

“Just start to treat each other better. If we do so, I promise you will get much more out of life,” Keith champions.

The golden rule strikes again! We always love to hear it, but after so great a numbers of shares, is there more to it?

Keith talks of the results that reaching out has had in his life, “Because I was nice to people, and people have been nice to me.”

“Sure dude, you run a hip studio, meet all kinds of interesting people and get paid for it. What’s so hard about that?”

It’s so easy to look at the present and forget that in all successes, or failures, there is a history. And just like all of us, Keith has one too.

“How did you get here?” I inquire.

Keith provides a brief time line.  I went to photo school, was a pro tennis player, then stunt man before I landed here.

What he combs over are the crises moments, moments that now, with my own story, I can read loud and clear in connecting the dots.

Keith, please forgive me if I am being presumptuous in what I am about to write. There is a gut motivation that is forcing me the call it as I see it,  and I promise, it is a tribute to your outlook.

“I worked in a Universal Studio stunt show by night and at the rental counter of an equipment rental house for awhile. Then I injured my knee in a show and had to start working full-time at the rental house. One thing led to another and now I have 5^th and Sunset.” Keith exposes in the small talk.

Being a photographer, or any form of performer in Los Angeles, is a very difficult proposition, and one that is filled with rejections and poverty days.

So how in the world can an injured, underfunded stunt man, make the ascent to owning one of the premier studio rental facilities in California?

He already said it, “Because I was nice to people, and people have been nice to me.”

It is more than apparent that Keith has never lost that virtue, and that is what has inspired me to sit with him in conversation this day. And in his eyes and comfortable delivery of his message he encompasses a hidden story of never giving up, buying into negativity or comparing his situation to that of others.

“I’m an optimist, and I think people are starting to realize the planet is getting smaller. Because of that, I think they are starting to understand, or a least are beginning to work towards tolerance.”

We talk of Chris’s reversal of the theory of 20/20 and of the past battle for civil rights. And as did Chris, we talk of the insanity of the past and the way we view the similar issues now.

The topic stirs Keith to share a story that affected the way he looks at the world and what he encourages us to mirror.

“I went to school at Parsons in New York. I had a roommate from Tupelo, Mississippi. He was a really cool guy, but was carrying a dark conflict. I found this out during a talk we had one day when he told me, ‘I was raised to hate black people. But since I met me you, I have no idea of why I thought that way,’ I’ll never forget that conversation, it forever changed the way I look at people.”

Keith has worked hard and demonstrated great patience in getting to where he is in life. There are no certainties for what’s to come for any of us, that fact is global.

For each of us our challenges are unique, some day are full of gains, and other bogged in the muck of life, yet in both we have our agency to either ascent or to descend, and in the end we do have control of our progression. It’s a matter of mind-set and perseverance. In the words of Keith, “It’s up to us to make our own silver lining in every event of every day, easy days or difficult ones alike.

“We can only strive for perfection, but there is no guarantee it will happen.”

Perfection, we can only strive for it?

Day 194 Leaves me imperfect in my daily time code, but like I said, I still met my stranger Jodi. Her message is important, and perhaps the extra time her posting floated did some good somewhere.

Thanks Yoda Keith, I feel better now.

Talk tomorrow, my friends.

It’s around 10:00am, I have just come from teaching my spinning class, and with a client meeting planned for 1:00pm and not wanting to waste time commuting to my home office, I find it prudent to grab a seat at the corner coffee / WiFi house to write while catching up with business emails.

With Vanilla Frappuccino in hand I recline into my private bliss; and as the chill of icy beverage begins to take over my engrossed taste buds, I phase into kicked back typing nirvana.

I sink into cozy armchair heaven. My mind linking to my fingertips with dedicated focus. Yet through my thought blurred peripheral hearing, I notice the echo’s of business conversation.

Sitting directly across from me are several people talking about the business of disposing of hazardous waste, and something about the conversation is perking my attention.

Great, here comes a budding in scene, I can see it now, “Dude! Can you go back to your typing, were a little busy at the moment.”

I take self-inventory and pushing the fear of rejection deep to the back of my mind, I look up from my keypad. “Alright, let’s do it. Mind over matter,” I psych myself.

Meaning, “If they don’t mind my introducing myself, then my fear really doesn’t matter.” We’ll leave it at that… shall we…? No need to talk about the fact that they might hate me for being nosey… is there?

Here is a little more data for you to process before I go on. You have to know that I do my best not to profile the people whom I approach, and all in all, the greatest percentage of the people I have met thus far are the result of an in the moment outreach. Definitely the opposite of a planned target of controlled subject matter, an ethnic group or any researched situation.

Absolutely… some friends open up easily and other are guarded, but every time an interview ends, whomever I have spent time with expresses life stories that are impossible to profile. And, all depart empowered with a common gift, the gift of being heard.

From the comments I receive, it seems that the bulk of my new friends leave with a feeling of importance in being able to contribute to the unity 365 is striving to encourage: A claim that I feel mostly comfortable in hailing, and one that is ninety percent accurate.

Why ninety percent accurate?

To all light there is also darkness, and it would be painting the wrong picture to disregard the hundreds of rejections I have received and the occasional bad timing moments, like the scorning I received that one cold and windy night when Lawrence’s wife, “Stay Alive”, hit us both with, “I want to go home, NOW!”

Even with the occasional dart, I stagger not, and now as I write in yet another sleep deprived state, and with strangers in my midst I must stand strong, willing to be accepted or thrashed. “Yes…!” I can boldly exclaim, “I’m not stopping this crazy one-year journey.”

Off we go… “Excuse me, I promise I am not a stalking freak, but your conversation has grabbed my attention. I’m really not trying to be nosey, but I’m a photographer working on a documentary project in which…”

My words fall upon the ears of three, and in the end one stays to follow through with me, the incredibly inspired rock of successful single motherhood, Jodi.

“Wait…! Wait…! Wait…! Richard, I thought you said they were talking about business and solutions for protecting the environment. How did we get to single motherhood?”

I’m not really sure, but one thought jumps to reason, “Jodi’s personal message is meant to be heard.”

Jodi’s single mother status is due to a disassociated relationship with an x-husband, who choosing to cheat on her is less than involved in the upbringing of her two children, ages eight and twelve.

I won’t delve deeply into a character assassination of his actions, but I will tell you this, from what Jodi expresses, he is not doing his part in helping to nurture his kid the way a mature father would do. Let’s move on to Jodi’s story.

Opening up, Jodi speaks of her childhood and how it has influenced her parenting skills, “My parents wondered if their parenting went in, and now that I am a parent, I’m on the other side of carrying forward their council. I’ve made my share of mistakes, I was a difficult child, and as a parent I realize that their words did go into my head.

I was raised Catholic, and even though at the time I was a little wild, what my parents taught me about respect and the importance of values is the core to who I am today, and is the foundation to the way I teach my children.”

We talk of the role of parent in raising balanced and emotionally healthy children.

Jodi has an ironclad perspective on the responsibility of we parents, and being a single mom, her words have the greatest of impact in calling us to accountability.

“As parents we need to be sure our children feel loved, and we need to teach them morals, to not judge and to do their best to be kind to others. And to do so, we need to be that kind of person.

I’ve sacrificed a lot for my kids, and will always put them first. I don’t buy the both parents have to work bullshit, I’m a single mother and I’m managing to keep my kids safe. Bottom line, if a kid goes the wrong path, it falls on the parents.”

“The world is heading towards chaos,” Jodi predicts. Yet in her dark prediction, there is a great presence of hope. “Even though we see a lack of love in today’s world, no peace, gangs, kids being bullied in schools and abused in homes, there are still a lot of people who show great respect and are working to watch out for where we are heading.”

“I’ve learned that you have to look at what is in front of you. The cards that are dealt to you, and all you can do is keep positive and just deal with it. I’m very open with my children, and I teach them that life isn’t perfect, but that they can learn from life experience. And at the core of it is truth. I teach my kids that telling the truth is sometimes the hardest thing to do, but the right thing to do.”

“Love is the key to parenting. My kids are my life and I trust God to know that I trust him in guiding me.

“And my kids know I love them, I tell them that every night as I put them to bed.”

Jodi, we thank you for your courage in speaking out on parenting, we embrace you for your commitment to love, and we salute you for your raising your kids on your own.

You are the rock of single parenting and an icon of committed motherhood.

I’m certain one day your children will look back and say, “Thanks mom, we heard it… and it went in.”

Only five minutes ago I was at the bird shop down the street. Being the proud owner of a Parrotlet (think miniature parrot), my wife and I frequent the store in purchasing its feed.

We strike up a conversation with the owner, and even though taking the pass card on being formally interviewed or photographed, she tells us of a recent issue that is becoming a life endeavor for her, that being, learning more about, and education those she knows, of the effects of GMO’s in our food chain. A fact that has been brought to her attention by her daughter who is deep into educating the medical foundations as to the harmful results of messing with mother nature.

What does this have with our new 365 friend, who we meet at stop two of today’s outing, Follow Your Heart Supermarket?

I’ll get to that… but first let me tell you a little about Follow Your Heart. It is not the usual supermarket. Everything on its shelves is vegetarian, naturally grown, fully organic and contains no GMO’s. I’ve been here once before, and almost decide to pass on entering its doors in an attempt to avoid being redundant. However, my wife insists jokingly, “I know this is your project, and you don’t like being told what to do, but I have a feeling that you need to go into follow your heart.”

I jest back, “What do you mean? ‘I don’t like being told what to do?’”

She smiles playfully at me and in the doors of the store she goes… off to examine the isles of healthy consumables and other organic products.

It’s very enlightening to know how many things can be produced in a way that is not only healthy for body and mind, but also low impact to the environment. I hope that one day, we will see stores like Follow Your Heart become the mainstream sources for groceries and products.

I’m still a little phased by her, “You don’t like being told what to do snipe,” But after receiving a silent face zerbert as she pokes her head out from behind isle two, I get the joke. She used it to get me to stop thinking so rationally about going into the store. Got to love spouse psychology, don’t we?

It never ceases to amaze me how the comments of one person, that being my new friend at the bird shop, can seamlessly blend into the words of their proceeding stranger, now turned my friend.

And today, GMO’s awareness is in the air. Not by being in Follow Your Heart, but via the words of today’s stranger number two, now turned friend, musician Chris.

His short and to the point council may bring light to his linked visualization of the now and the future, “Act today as if you are living in the future. Visualize yourself in the future as you see it. Then look back on yourself, and think about your actions.

Maybe, when you throw away that McDonalds wrapper, or even eat at McDonalds, you’ll think differently.”

In the theme of anti GMO (I don’t bring it up, Chris does), we talk of healthy foods, lifestyle and as organic as the product stocked on the shelves around us, we bridge into a broader subject… Humanity

Chris reverses his opening advice of act today as if you are living in the future; changing it to its sister “Hindsight is 20/20 theory.”

To make his point, Chris chooses a socially impactful period in American history, referring to the civil rights movements of the 60’s, “We would not even imagine segregated drinking fountains now, would we?”

With this suggestion of visualizing the future by looking back at the past, Chris gives us a mental tool in considering our life’s choices.

Sure, we’ve all most likely reflected on the hindsight is 20/20 theory. Perhaps we get it fully… perhaps not… yet one thing troubles me.

If the theory is so powerful, then why do we so often find ourselves repeating the same behaviors or reliving reoccurring situations.

Albert Einstein defined Insanity as: Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.

So with the 20/20 rule, married to Einstein and the humble words of Chris, shall we look back on ourselves, and think about our influence in what’s to come.

“We are all in this thing together!”

Everywhere I look Saint Patrick’s Day green is in my eye-line. The auditorium is full of color and action. The diversity is vast and everyone from kids to grandparents participate in the merriment. Even my wife takes a run at the Velcro wall, and to credit her athletic skills, manages to stick strong to its balloon walled surface.

There must be hundreds of people in attendance, and one observation I can note with the greatest of conviction: all are united this day in enjoying a community celebration of bounce, run and play.

After the climbing wall I settle a bench with corned beef sandwich in hand (I mean mouth), my wife and daughter leaving me to embark on my friend finding mission by myself. After all, as social as they can be, they need to finish their gladiator grudge match on the balloon pedestals.

Here I remain, perched on the top level of the gymnasium bleachers, appreciating the last bites of my Irish fare. It’s like sitting at the top of a platform that has been consecrated for the purpose of people watching.

And from this high up perch I begin my rationalization: “The stilted guy looks pretty cool! What about the not-so-dressed-in-green (Irish?) belly dancers? No, better yet, the Dick Van Dyke look-alike?!”

I wipe the last of the rye crumbs from my chin and ready myself for a stroll. Yet my path is unexpectedly halted when a gentleman grabs a seat near where I am stationed.

“How are you,” I reach out and as I do, a reflection occurs to me; words that were given to me by one of you, my 365 readers. That comment went something like this: “I love the stories of the real people you find. And that so many are everyday people who have very interesting things to say.”

All of a sudden the dancer, stilts and faux-celebrities are not that interesting to me anymore, and the desire to approach them has been replaced with a need to chat with the stranger sitting to my right.

“How would you like to be part of a humanistic outreach project?” I invite in explaining 365.

Over conversation of family and events my now not-stranger has become my friend of the moment, and with the comfort of knowing our families are enjoying activities as we rest on the bleachers, my new buddy, Leo, talks of his wishes for the world.

“Don’t waste resources, save everything, natural resources, conserve energy, and don’t waste time on things you don’t need to do. Too many people even waste too much food.”

I think of my refrigerator at home and check myself to positively eat all the leftovers from this week’s meals.

On December 17 our environmentalist friend Bronwyn, “Treat the planet right,” put us on the WordPress map with her words of council, “We need to push a little harder in doing our part.”

Leo exemplifies her caution, “I’d like to see a day when every family becomes a producer of what they can use. Things like planting gardens and cultivating fruits and vegetables.”

We talk of not only the obvious positive agricultural contribution, but also of the health benefits of freshly and organically grown produce.

This whole garden concept is one that my family and I have embarked on from time to time. And I tell you; the benefits are beyond the expected. I can own with full integrity that in growing our own food we not only ate healthier, but the money savings as well as the unity and shared work ethic grew my family closer in ways that are beyond dollars and time.

Our planet in finite, and as Bronwyn and Leo are gesturing, we can all make a powerfully positive footprint for the safety of our planet. It’s in the little gestures, that we, if combined in numbers, can bring to pass a measurable impact en route to the healing of planet Earth.

How many of us choose to feel overwhelmed by the sheer magnitude of the deterioration of our limited resources?

Leo provides us a task. A task that is absolutely possible on a macro level. One that is even socially edifying and good for the mind, body and spirit. Simply… “Plant what you can eat.”

“Don’t waste resources, save everything,” Leo lives what he preaches; it is in his eyes, his words and by the looks of his healthy physique, it is in his lifestyle.

Guess it’s time for me to find the rototiller, I’ve got Zucchini to plant.

“What are you words of wisdom?” I ask Anna, my friend… no, may I say my savior this evening. Why savior? That is a grand title.

Briefly, it is a rainy night; everyone is scurrying or beginning their end of week check out, and even with my dashing charm, J! I am rejected ten times as I zigzag a twenty-mile area of wet and vaguely populated streets.

I sure that tonight the fuel companies love me, and my environmentalist self is beating on my sense of responsibility for my negative contributions to emission control and conservation.

Yet another two-hour excursion is upon me. I’m not griping, just setting the stage to a lesson of which I still have not mastered. That lesson is simply, “Richard (and all of us), we need to let go of pre-consideration in where, how and with whom we interact with in our daily lives.”

I drove for hours with a set of positive excuses. “Positive excuses?” What are those? I thought excuses were negatives?” the third debates as I write.

“Oh no! Richard your loosing it, third voices, are you talking to invisible friends now?”

It’s 5:30am, my habitual writing time, my eyes are droopy and the day is already rushing at me. Got to give a guy a little slack… don’t we?

Plus we’re closing in on 200 thousand words, and in the script of my Sci-Fi author friend and writing coach, Michaelbrent Collings, “Your style is getting more organic.”

Opps, distracted by the rising sun, seems I have wandered… “Positive Excuses? What in Sam’s heck are they?”

pos•i•tive ex•cuse  (noun) 1 a reason or explanation put forward to bolster confidence away from making an inspired decision or to self justify leaning wholly on the intellectual self: there is no way I will go to a place that I have been to before, no matter how much my core self directs me to do so. If I do people will think I am being lazy in my project. • a reason put forward to conceal the real fear for an action; a pretext: It’s ok if I wander aimlessly for whatever time it takes until I find the perfect person for todays interview, as a cover up for not allowing my fatigue of the week to slow me down into acceptance of where I am and in appreciating those around me.
2 (an excuse for) my actions in isolating myself in my vehicle, even after a proven track record of endless wanderings: I find the right person at the right time!

Bottom line, an excuse is an excuse, no matter how we spin it.

Two hours of driving, all the while crossing a center point where lies a Starbuck’s coffee house. A local that has pulled me in several time before. And choosing to ignore the fact that on this very rainy night it is the gather spot in the area, I tell myself, “I can’t go there, that’s the easy way out!”

“Your back, good to hear you talking to yourself, the third voice stuff was a little creepy.”

Yet on pass four of the corner of Ventura and Topanga Canyon, fatigue and a quickly dipping fuel gauge, finally reigns in my poorly defined friending route. “All right head, I’ll grab a hot drink and a snack and just see what happens!”

The place is buzzing with people, all in their own sphere of conscious, and all engaged in their own life moments. At first, I let my brain direct me with another set of positive excuses, “Good thing you stopped, and now that you have a hot belly and a sugar rush, we’ll hit the trails again.”

“What…!! Mind, are you nuts…! More aimless driving!?!

I fight back and in taking a deep breath, I decide to overcome the logical self in pushing myself to raise my chin to look, listen and feel.

The room slows, and in the midst of shoulder-to-shoulder movement, one soul stands still, Anna.

I observe her interactions, and in an instant I find myself on the opposite side of my yesterday’s experiment, that of smiling at the world around me, and waiting to see what happens. Seems that tonight, Anna has stolen my idea… Or has she?

There is something about her that is comforting and self-aware, I am drawn to introduce myself. So what if I am at the same Starbuck’s I have often frequented?

In one last futile effort my brain bounces back to my logical lobe, “No she is going to think you are a creep!”

The other lobe fires, “It’s a different night with a different culture, and glowingly, Anna is quietly at the center of this never again to be duplicated time frame, step up Richard, Respond to her energy.”

I listen; the logical lobe can be so pessimistic sometimes.

Now that the good cop, bad cop brain stuff is over and my hot drink called, I muster the courage to say hello. Anna explodes with acceptance of 365, and yet again, the inspired self win the battle over the thinking mind. Therein lies the lesson.

“I don’t know what to say,” Anna launches, “To give advise to the world…that is a huge thought…”

To veer away from the daunting question we decide to small talk for just a second, when suddenly her eyes light up.

“People need to smile more and for no reason. I don’t mean to just your friends and family, but when they are not people that you know. It is more important when it is random.”

Anna has a face that could grace to pages of beauty magazines, yet she is not about herself. A fact that is evident in the career path that both she and her husband have chosen, she an IFT and he a paramedic. Helping others is the silent message I read loud and clear in speaking with Anna.

We talk of our interactions with the world; in life, in family and in career, and in doing so, exchange a united view of the importance human interaction plays in the evolvement of a healthy society.

“I see it all the time at work,” Anna reveals, “I’m a IFT (Interfacility Transportation) and every day I transport many lonely people who only need one person to give them a smile or a little time for conversation. I try to be that person.”

Anna touches on another topic that all of us have discussed over and over again… Technology.

“I don’t like what technology is doing to human relationships. I’m not talking about the good uses of it, or even things like your blog, it is getting a good message out. I’m talking about how people do not live in the moment because of it. It’s like what happens at work. I’ll be driving with my partner who does not even know I am in the vehicle because he is so deep into his texting. We need to interact face-to-face.”

I won’t harp on this topic any further in this entry, and I’m sure it will come up again, but Anna does give us a cause of reflection, “I think many people are on the same page, but don’t know what to do about it,” she observes.

And with perfect Anna vibrance and twist of sweet humor, she leaves us this social note, “People should picnic more!”

For me, I’m off to the pantry, got to pack for tomorrow’s outing.

Talk tomorrow, my friends.

I promised myself that today I’d interview the first person who verbally responds to me. I’ll call it the reverse magnet theory.

Off to find myself a busy corridor I go, once again the Third Street Promenade, Santa Monica, where I put on my smile face and hit the trails.

Chin up and eyes open to the people I walk and it’s a completely different experience than that of the past 365 outings, where I opened my words as well as my eyesight.

The promenade is busy with activity, and it’s quite interesting to take note of the body language responses I receive from a simple smile and head nod.

It is quite remarkable what you can read in the eyes of a person, and for those who engage with me, the range of reactions is full. “Good to know you,” one person nods; “I’m in a hurry… can’t stop to chat,” another shrugs with a grin; “Pervert… go away,” a mother grimaces off as she check her child.

In a way… I am remorsefully surprised that most people do not reach back verbally. Makes me question when we lost our faith in the world around us. It’s not as if I have cornered someone in an alley… or threatened them… or have an apparent objective (i.e., the guy holding the sign that reads, “Jokes $1.00”).

There are countless people as well as police presence all around and I am doing all that I can to keep my posture non-threatening and receptive. Who know maybe I look pathetically out-of-place or like a stalker, but in clean jeans, and a conservative shirt, I think I blend in pretty well.

I’m not trying to make any grand point of discussion with the above observation, just a feeling in my gut has asked me to write of this finding for whatever it will become.

Really I’m quite blown away, forty-five minutes and no hello’s, how are you’s or good day’s at all. When as I ready to begin to speak, “Hello, how are you!” comes at me from the right.

Laughing, I reply, “I’m tired.”

I never say why I’m tired, that being of the energy expense of receiving now countless non-verbal rejections. I’m just happy to finally be engaging with another human, even though I know she is just doing her job of bringing attention to the café that has hired her to draw customers in.

As we talk two young ladies settle on the street side menu next to us. My still stranger engages with them. “Where are you from?” she asks. There is an honesty to this girl and I am wondering what gives her this special radiance.

“I’m from Boston” one replies, “I’m from Minneapolis” the other smiles. All of a sudden I find myself vicariously center to a conversation of weather, city comparisons and other simple safe talk.

“Here is my opportunity,” I think. And grabbing my 365 business cards, I find a moment to introduce my project. “Perhaps, my tourist strangers will step up and tell me of their cities in joining 365,” I convince myself.

They nod their head with a smile, and intently listen to my description of the project, “We’ll check it out,” they engage as they depart leaving my café promoting friend and I alone in continuing the conversation.

“I’d love to be in it,” says my radiant companion of the scene, stranger now turned friend, Irina, who reveals the key to her presence, “Stay in the present, we spend too much time worrying about the future and carrying on in the past.”

More people walk by, and as we talk, Irina manages to keep focus in engaging with all those who pass by. That’s her job… Right?

I just watch and listen. Now there are many who can deliver a line, but Irina is not one of those people. What Irina delivers is sincerity. “Stay in the moment and don’t worry,” she says and it is apparent that is how she manages her life.

And in doing so it is acutely obvious that even though this is her job, Irina has found a balance of compassion and professionalism in truly using her employment to better know the people around her; I am impressed by her balance of work and self.

Have you ever had a friend that no matter how you are feeling, their aura helps you feel better about yourself? I barely know Irina, yet I’m pretty convinced that Irina is one of those people.

“This may sound cliché,” Irina says in forecasting her next statement. “We need to start working at peace, not so much about world peace, but the people on an individual level. There is too much personal fighting and not getting along.”

World peace, maybe a bit cliché, but where Irina directs the basis of her thought is very astute. Month back, we had a friend advice, “I’d rather see a lot of people doing small acts of kindness and good works than to see one great effort of one.”

Irina seconds that charge in suggesting that we work to resolve any part of our life’s or actions that out of accord.

“There is too much personal fighting and not getting along.” Yes… It is a very youthful call out. But as in yesterday’s entry, where we featured the works of Sir Ken Robinson and the, again not so cliché, words of young friend Heather, we must consider the thoughts of youth as powerful motivators.

Sir Robinson talks of the genius that children demonstrate; a genius that is not only academic, but a genius that allows for collaboration and an ability to coexist. Might we consider that as we age, we hold tightly to our youthful perspective of humanity; and for those of us who have lived to see it diminish, may we reignite the flame of optimism?

Those of us who are life weary might argue, “But that is to difficult, I’m too wounded, life is just not that way, grow up, or simply, the world is way to screwed up to matter anymore.”

“We need to start working at peace, not so much about world peace, but the people on an individual level,” Irina inspires.

Peace on an individual level. Whatever we may debate on the issue, Irina counters with a last bit of council, “And we underestimate the power of apology.”

Out of the mouth of babes, my friends.

Shall we all hang closely to our youthful thoughts!

Irina, thank you for the hello, you are making the world a better place!

“Don’t take life too seriously… just freak out… dance… and sing…”
…and, do what you want before you become what you are told.” —Heather

We have to learn to shake off society. There are always going to be battles, the world is just that way. But it will always give some as you loose some. Education is the core to what future we are all left with.

People have a lot of shame for following what they want, and most of our baggage is carried from our childhoods.

I’d like to see a world where people actually learn things rather than be crammed into classrooms and having standards forced on them.”

Sound cliché or radical? Or inspired or forward thinking?

I’ll leave that answer up to you in considering the above words of today’s stranger, young artisan of great wisdom, Heather.

…and to give us more grounds for contemplation, I give you a few links to the works of Sir Ken Robinson, a very contemporary conformer of today’s flawed educational systems. My opinion, Heather and he are on the right path.

You must view this very entertaining and enlightening presentation by Sir Robinson – Changing Education Paradigms (the audio at the end is suppressed, makes me think of conspiracy theories as to why): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zDZFcDGpL4U

Also here is a link to his website: http://sirkenrobinson.com/skr

Heather and I run into each other at a cool little burb in Venice, California.

Excuse me, run into her is an understatement… I am drawn to her.

Here I am on the street of Abbott Kenney. A gathering place for both local and nomadic travelers from around the globe. To the right of me I hear the chatter of German tourists, behind me is a group of resident Rasta bikers; and, ahead are persons of unimaginable diversity. Yet, as I pass by a quaint little corner coffee-house, I spy Heather, paper and supplies in hand, as she approaches its doors.

At first glance, I am captivated by her apparent ease of self. And being further intrigued to meet another artist I introduce myself.

Immediately Heather’s charm and free spirit captures me, and after a short twenty minutes of curbside conversation I am proud to call friend.

Heather is a people magnet, drawing hello’s and brief conversations from many who pass by us as we sit on the sidewalk chatting away.

“You have a lot of friends,” I comment.

With infectious smile she brings me up to speed, “That’s the way it is here, we are a community, and when you live here you get to know a lot of people.”

Even though Heather is infectiously optimistic, she does take a bit of time to express a few of her observations towards the pros and cons of capitalism. Focusing on the problems of flawed healthcare and the quality of our food system. She states, “Even the USDA is not organic, and our healthcare system suppresses things and does not treat illness. It’s the time/money thing. Too much is driven by greed and not concern for the public.”

Heather goes on to brighter topics, things like the importance of personal integrity, education and the need for, in Heather’s words, “More communication, less television screens.”

“I’d like to see a future where education is more accessible and affordable, and a people who have a greater appreciation for each other, art and nostalgia.”

Being an artist, and businessman myself, and with the support of Sir Robinson’s instruct, might I suggest that art is not just the works of imagination, but also the works of intellect.

Sir Robinson likens it to thought processes that can be applied to any discipline, regardless of the trade or position. With the aid of his findings may I propose this, “Whether CEO or street artist, those who are in touch with their imaginative selves are more likely to be receptive to fresh ideas, more likely to collaborate well with others and have the self-esteem to listen to their own inspirations in moving forward.”

Bur sadly, as stated by Heather, “People have a lot of shame for following what they want.”

I call it the opinion filter. Defined, “The laws of humility states that we should acknowledge the thoughts of others, and do all that we can to not harm another, but we need to listen to our own minds in finalizing any objective, and grow the tenacity to constantly practice the skills of dismissing any destructive input. That through applied education (not controlled, like learning for the test scores, see Sir Robinson’s video), trial, error and successes; true and full fulfillment of our inspired self can occur. It’s not an easy thing to do and requires great practice and discipline. And if achieved while supporting others in the same quest, we give ourselves license to own our perspectives to the fullest. In doing so we can inspire ourselves to achieve that which brings balance and happiness to our lives, and hopefully the community. From there we may obtain a greater peace of character in wholly owning that who we are, good and bad.”

And with the aid of Heather and Sir Robinson, we are given advice and studied methods of doing so.

Heather is very hopeful when speaking of what is ahead for us, “There will be an awakening of our higher conscientiousness.”

Sure it’s cliché, but how many times have we heard our 365 friends tell us to follow our dreams.

Cliché or not, what is important is that we allow ourselves to progress as we are inspired to do so.

Sir Robinson speaks of a 98% genius score in a study of 1500 kindergarten students, and of the staggering decrease of that percentage over a ten-year period.

Startling evidence as to the actual manifestation of the dream, and a propelling argument to rethink our perspectives on learning, personal ability, and in managing the bombardment of external influences that strike us all each and every day.

Talk soon my good friends,

Richard

Door to door sales is a tough business, and I’ll be the first to confess that every time the bell sounds an unannounced chime, my heart rate rises a beat or two. Especially when I am deeply engrossed in a task or enjoying hard to find personal time.

So today when at the worst possible moment the doorbell is directed to speak, I pause hastily, “Who can that be!!”

I’m a touch tired, almost done with my day and am hanging on tightly to the glimmer of an hour or so of unadulterated mind zero time. Ah… the beauty of that.

And now my Zen has been broken, my workflow has been compromised and worse yet, I’m in a sleep deprived and overdramatic mood. Basically, I’m not really feeling that sociable.

“What!? Are we hearing that Mr. chin up and eyes open to the world is human…. No way! We thought he was just a hopeless romantic of some sort.”

“Surprise, I’m in a pissy mood and that blended with day two of accelerated day syndrome, and I am less than receptive to any solicitation.”

To the door I go, already thinking, “I don’t need any candy, my truck is not for sale, and my carpet is clean!”

As my inconvenience shifts to utter frustration, I catch myself, “’Richard, how can you stand tall in proclaiming, ‘Everyone is of worth,’ and approach your front door with the attitude you are sporting.’”

I check myself, calm my pre-conceptions as to who is outside and prepare myself for civility, “There is a fellow human out there. Probably just as concerned for his livelihood as I.”

I swing the door open, and with a smiling “Hello, can I help you?” I open my ears to receive whatever this stranger has to say, and before I know it, I find myself connected in welcome conversation with the Greener California dude, my new friend Brion.

We talk of the environment and the need for smarter conservation of our resources. “Really Richard, you have been suckered.”

I will admit, by the looks of the trim of my house, I most likely have been profiled, but that is OK. We are in the middle of a repaint of our exterior and re-insulation of our attic, and have begun the laborious process of cost estimating improvements. So to have someone at my door with painting and insulation services is really not that tiresome.

Brion is very brief and professional, we set an appointment for an estimator to stop by, and talk casually, I tell him of 365 and invite him to participate. Funny, just ten minutes prior to his ring, and in the weary frame of mind I have been carrying, the idea of a long search for a friend was wavering my 365 motivation.

Sure, Brion is selling product and service, but in another way he has saved me from my own negativity.

Brion unprompted, and I’m telling you, without any coaching from me, gives this council. “Think before you act. A lot of people don’t do that these days. Even for good opportunity.”

No way, is he some kind of psychic that tapped into my very pre-judgmental and reactive self of only a few minutes past.

I’m sure he is not, and that our meeting is coincidental, but the experience does cause me to reflect. “What is more important? To control my timeline, or to control my per-conceptions of those around me?”

I won’t answer that, I’ll just leave it hanging for all of our contemplation.

Brion is working, so I cut to the chase in throwing the bombshell question regarding what’s to come.

“Wow!” Brion reacts, “Who knows? That is a huge question and very difficult to answer on the spot.”

He thinks for a moment, “I like the idea of electric vehicles and smarter use of our natural resources. I’m for anything that will create healthier ways to conserve energy and keeps the planet healthy. If we can just find smarter ways to get around, that alone would help the planet.”

Brion, we appreciate your advocacy. Saturday we’ll talk of tax credits and rebates (yep, I scheduled an estimate).

Monday’s are nuts sometimes, I wake up at 5:00am with all intentions of completing the list of to-do’s carried over from Friday.

And boy has it been an accelerated day. Don’t read me wrong; this is not a complaint, just an observation and my motivation to conduct a late day priority check with it being the beginning of a very busy week.

I’m sure you’ve experienced the accelerated day syndrome… You know them, days where the clock, through some mysterious act of physics, moves as if attempting to mock your organizational skills while confusing your head concerning the true duration of an hour.

What…! Five minutes ago, it was 2:00pm, how in the sake of all that is wholly can it suddenly be 5:00pm…? Am I loosing my mind…! or does it just take that long for me to do __________________________? You fill in the blank.

Why this phenomenon occurs…? I know not? Maybe its age, could be due to deep focus of task, or possibly the distractions of phone, email bings or door knocks. But whatever it is… today is the day the mystery of time suck has visited my abode.

But in the eye of the minute storm, I manage to find a fifteen-minute window of still waters.

Here I am, corner of Sherman Way and Remmet. And no… I’m not walking the streets selling my wares. I’m on my way to pick up my daughter from her acting class at a nearby studio. With the cost of fuel at over $4.00, I can afford a little shoe tread wear. Plus I need to work off my sitting at the desk belly bulge.

Can’t help it, I love food, and the mixture of a day of computer time (retouching an assignment that I am delivering today), and a cupboard full of microwavable delights, my taste buds are in full gear.

Five minutes down, ten minutes of time left, and with my solitary stroll close to an end, I encounter the sweet and wafting aroma of a savory stir fry carrying itself under my over stimulated nerves of food consumption.

Where is this bouquet of culinary temptation emanating from, I explore… and in my visual excavation of the storefronts I detect the source of my aromatic seducer.

Who doesn’t love their secret hole in the wall restaurants? And today I think I have found a new off the beaten path haunt, a funky little neon faced Vietnamese eatery on the curbside of Sherman Way, just East of Remmet.

I inspect the rating, “A”… that’s good in my book. And as examine the photo menus in the window, a restaurant patron exits to check his parking meter.

I can’t resist, “How is the food,” I inquire.

The guy glows as if I have found his dining nirvana, “Its really good and cheap, and I come here four or five time a month.” He emits.

We chat food for a while, and what the heck, I’ve found a new place to eat and a stranger who shares in my passion for hidden dive food, why not invite him to be a 365 friend. I ask the questions?

And today we get a first, a personally written set of short responses from our friend of the day, Gavin.

As we begin our interview, the door of the restaurant opens and out comes a waitress caring Gavin’s take away order. Plus, in five minutes I must pick up my daughter, so we are concise in our conversation. Still, even though our chat is brief, Gavin writes us words to live by and to consider or destiny.

Per wisdom, Gavin quotes William Butler Yeates.

Regarding the future of humanity, he has an optimistic point of view. Yet as optimistic as it is, there is a dark side to Gavin’s predictions; predictions that he has first hand knowledge, working at a premier health insurer, Blue Cross / Blue Shield.

And for those of you who are enraged by the insanely unfair increase of coverage over the last few months, take note and do not attack Gavin.

He brings me up to speed when I tell him of my dissatisfaction with the rate hikes of my policy.

“That is Anthem Blue Cross, I work for Blue Cross / Blue Shield. We are separate companies, with our own policies. My job is to help people, and that is what I like about what I do.”

I’ve now got three minutes left before my girl is ready for pick up, and with Gavin wanting to enjoy a hot meal, we bid farewell.

Gavin, thank you for your street time, a pleasure speaking with you.

The last place on earth you will find me is hanging out at a cyber café. The mere thought of vicarious activity in a room full of dissociated people is just a bit too disengaged for me.

Sure, technology is here to stay, and even I am happily embracing its reach and ability to throw messages to the masses.

And one would be living in a cocoon to say that the world of new media, streaming video and social portals has not irreversibly changed our social culture.

The planet gets smaller year by year, that’s a good thing, and again we need to give much credit to the ever-expanding technology that has allowed us all the resources to connect on a range as broad as our imaginations and tenacity will carry us.

“Yes!” I proclaim… The information stream is a good thing, and necessary in today’s racing and imploding society. This is a fact that I undeniably admit, Blogs, Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, and the immense list of URL’s brings us closer and provides us with whatever we are looking for at the click of a mouse of the touch of a screen.

But take heed my friends in not forgetting the peace of human interaction, or the feel of air rushing into your face.

With all good thing come’s a price, and why do I worry about the price we may be paying in overindulging in the instant gratification and vicarious friendships that this new world is offering us?

My answer is simple… the loss of who we are and a numbing of our senses towards the real world around us.

I would have never thought in a million years that I would be producing writings like this. Yet, I will not delude you that my thoughts are not from my heart, but in saying this, I must more fully credit the greater part of my writings to the stories that are graced to me each and every day as I reach out in my face-to-face quest through following my 365 self-challenge, “Chin up and eyes open to the world around me.”

So this evening as I commute past the local cyber hot spot, I find myself magnetized by a small group of people standing in front of it’s LED illuminated doors. And even though the cyber gaming world in not my bag, my subconscious self commands me to veer to the right and reset my course to engage with these cyber strangers.

Up I walk, and with the typical 365 hello I find myself deep in conversation with a group of three diverse friends. Friends who vary in age from 19 to 40’s; friends who all share one common mission, to oversee the safety of their neighbor, a young woman who is deeply fixated on the cyber experience within the walls of the café.

For the sake of time and condensed word count, I’ll focus on one of these three uniquely different, yet bonded individuals, and at her request for privacy, we’ll call her anonymous dancer (“A” for short). Per the other two, we have agreed to speak at a later date.

“A” is a wonder of imagination and culture, a woman who understands compassion and commitment to helping her fellow human.

She tells me of how she met one of the two friends she is talking with. “I met him when he was homeless, my car had broken down and he had helped me push it to my house. He looked tired and I offered him my car for a sleeping quarters. From there we became friends, I remember bringing him eggs in the mornings.”

The story has a bright ending, the once homeless man is now employed, has an apartment and obviously the friendship has blossomed.

“A” does not step foot in the cyber café, like I said… her presence this evening is that of a protector. The night is a little chilly, and I have no idea of how long she has been watching out for her young friend inside. That alone gives me insight into her perspective on how she respects the people in her community.

Our conversation is deep and ranges from concern to the events in the Middle East to the economy, to her history in the arts (a profession dancer who has performed on New York’s stage) and the concerns of what the cyber world is doing to our culture.

With an infectious energy she decrees, “Everyone should be dancing.”

In furthering her announcement, she lengthens its meaning. “We need to be walking the streets and meeting people, I see a time when, with the rising cost of fuel, more and more of us will be walking, Like in New York. That will be a good thing for society. To see each other eye to eye.”

Everyone should be dancing = everyone should be on their toes, not on their butts, glued to a vicarious life of backlit display.

We talk of not judging people at a surface level, and of the findings of 365.

“I like the way people are in New York, on the outside, it may seem that they don’t care, but on the inside they allow everyone to be who they are and they respect individuality.” “A” communicates.

I have to agree with her.

In her reference, we learn a lesson; she is not telling us that we have to be best friends with everyone. Not even that we have to associate with all. But she does charge us with this: Even if we are strangers, we can still give each other the same respects that we would expect to receive. Makes sense, non of us can say that all people truly know us at face value, so how can we place any label on others without justly knowing what is in their hearts and minds?

I’ve been chastened this evening, I can’t say that my views of the cyber café has been affected, but I can say this, it was wrong of me to make any assumptions as to the patrons of such an establishment. For if I had fully done so, and ignored my intuition to walk up this evening, I would have absolutely missed out on meeting a wonderful person.

“A”, thanks for your anonymous words!