Sidewalk Ghosts / Interview 381: “Stop Fronting and Be Yourself”


“I’m 22 and I quit my job recently, and its been terrifying entering the business world as someone like me who has been, like, a sensitive musician my whole life and I’m starting to confront the things that most of us deal with on a daily basis, and that’s everybody’s obsession with status, success and power; and I feel like pursuing self-employment has become this ideal… but there is a really dark side that a lot of people really don’t talk about…” ­—Christopher

SideWalk Ghosts / Interview 379: "You're Already Off To A Better Start"


“Be the change you would like to see in the world.” Quotes Josh, today’s stranger now friend. He continues with his own words… “I’ve noticed that life doesn’t exactly get any easier; you just get more accustomed to going about your daily life. So even though things can get you down and make things worse for you. It does get better…”

SideWalk Ghosts / Interview 378: It's OK To Talk To Strangers

Jury duty today… one of the civic obligations many of us have enjoyed on a yearly basis. A room full of sequestered people, some wanting to do their duty while others hopelessly scheme for the perfect excuse to get out of service. But as quoted, via the strangely welcoming and compassionate smile of lady behind window 3, “I’ve heard them all.”

So the room sits, all looking at the floor, dozing off or reading as they wait to be called to bear the barrage of lawyers questions regarding their character. We are a diverse and intriguing group of strangers. I’m sure with many experiences, loves, hopes and fears. So in tribute to Operation-365, I raise my chin up to look around the room. I guess I’m looking for connections. But sadly, far too many are a guarded and shrouded behind self-created walls of invisibility. So amidst the occasional acknowledgement from curious fellow human, most just simply dismiss me as they drop their chins in looking away.

An announcement perks through the silent separation and brings many together as they look up to the ceiling.  It’s as if the PA system is more human than the microphone voice of our courthouse friend (as she is in plain sight, standing only feet from us at room’s center). “If any of you cannot commit for 7 day’s, you can ask for a reschedule,” she explains.

Oh, that’s just perfect! Can’t wait to do this again in 3 months. Of course, I can’t stay for 7 more days. Already have lost 4; and if chosen to stay another week, who knows, maybe longer, the pay of $15.76 falls a little short of making my overhead. I was hoping for a 1-day trial. You know, he stole the socks from my bedroom dresser and I have the photos to prove it. Cut and dry. In and out. Must not be my week.

To window 3, as instructed I go. Yet again getting to receive the same paperwork that brought me here it the first place. Not that I like to gripe, but hats off to the systems we have in place. Could there possibly be a better way to schedule us… I don’t know. But a man has to gripe sometime. After all, I’m just as human as you. That said, looks like I’m back in May. Oh summer, how I love thee.

So now I’m standing in line for the said assistance of window 3, overhearing, and yes, buying into the banter of all who are expressing the reasoning behind why we can’t stay. Funny how easy it is to share negative comments with the world around us. So I try an experiment, I turn my thoughts to what the staff must be feeling as, I’m sure, they are overhearing our loudening words of wisdom. I recriminate myself a little regarding my less that positive gut reaction, realizing that we are all equally human, especially the workers servicing this full line of annoyed people. So I back step my thinking, choose not to look for faults, but to merely listen and observe. As I do, a calm face to the left of me comes into bright focus.

Christine is her name and it is with warm spirit that she chats with us regarding her views on compassion, trust and love.

O-365 daily blogumentary has begun, and Christine, thank you for putting us on a fantastic path. You are living proof that it is OK to talk to strangers.

See you tomorrow my friends,

Richard

SideWalk Ghosts / Interview 376: Down to the Wire

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First, to Damian (today’s stranger now friend) as well as to all of my 365 friends, please forgive me for not posting for several months. To be fully honest about it, the holidays, a rush of year-end business and some much needed time with my family. But with that caught up, I am jumping back into doing my part in our mission to build our community. Even readying for another one-year daily project, “O-365,” a 365 consecutive day stranger meeting blogumentary (here is a link the projects Indiegogo). Stay tuned.
I’ll never forget the time spent with new friend Damian, for over an hour he and I conversed regarding the widest range of topics: Culture, Politics, Religion and Race; all subjects that we are socially biased to not discuss. Not even with friends and family we are advised; and, whatever we do, never bring them up in business or casual dialogue. Sadly, and to a point, I agree. But with the acknowledgement of this, I do challenge us to not consider our outlooks towards our support groups, but to rather govern our reactions towards those who are living lives with altering ideologies.
Damian puts it rather bluntly, “Don’t throw a bunch of flowers in my face and call it a bouquet.”
Instead he suggests, “Ask families what they really feel about what is going on. Ask the minorities… what they really feel. If you do, you’ll get some real answers.”
In a way we are all minorities, trapped within the confines of our own minds, beliefs, and traditions. That’s OK. It’s what provides the blessing of wholly living this life experience. But unmanaged these brainwaves can also become a Pandora’s box of head discussions. Thoughts turned to actions as we project ourselves, and our agendas, onto others. You know, those nagging, this is my opinion, and that is theirs… with is conflicting resolutions. Resolves that at many times are troubling to our core selves. No I’m not advocating selfishness or harming others via self-justified atrocities. That would be a blind misrepresentation of the message Damian and I are proposing.
In Damian’s words, “If we infuse people with knowledge.  Educate ourselves on what is really going on in society and not what is glorified. Focusing on the glorified is a waste of our time… useless information.  If it does not effect or change your life beneficially, and you cannot use it… then what is the point?”
Education, a very soft topic for many, leads to a very sobering question: What is in store for our children and will they be prepared?
Damian is wise, “We have to stop the silly little facades that we put on our children… and our adults… and our families… facades that have never worked. Take the gatekeepers out of the game. Take the guys that stop progress out-of-the-way – The gatekeepers who always want to stop people before they themselves know the answers.
They need to stop trying to take religion out of school. I believe in diverse religion in school. Being able to praise God and being able to say I love you Lord. Waking up every day with a smile on your face.”
Over the course of Operation-365 we have met people of many faiths – from Christian to Jew, Muslim to Sikh, Atheist to Self-Appointed. In this, the majority has come forth with an astounding voice. Proclaiming a message to us all. That it is possible for a community of many faiths and points-of-view to exist in sharing a common set of principles. Being a universal appeal for a safe and good life for our children and the society ahead.
So I’ll admit, I’m bewildered at why far too many get terminally caught up in the fight for righteous correctness? Choosing, by arrogant and often uninformed decision, to completely miss the boat of compassion? An observation that has endlessly troubled me deeply; but what the heck, I’ll take a stab at finding a new perspective…
…Could it be found in the eyes of the children? The very ones that we… the learned adults… do all that we can to condition for what we predict is to come. Perhaps we are correct… perhaps we are way off base…
…But what if we turned the eyeglass for a brief reversal of role? What if we allowed the child consideration in teaching us, and if we did, could we model the way they behave (especially the very young?) towards one another. Might it be plausible that they have something to teach us… we… the adults… the wise ones?
My hope is that the answer is a resounding YES. That through their example may be discovered a set of keys to open our eyes in exactly how to look beyond our differences.
Day 376_L2R2099Damian challenges us, “We have to look and scrutinize each other and love one another as a whole… you know what I mean? This doesn’t work if we are constantly at each other throats about color, about income, about who has what… and who doesn’t have what. The thing is, in this society… the only thing that works is if we help each other. If we see each other as black and as white this whole mess is going to continue to be what it is. It’s never going to get any better. What matters is… what is important for our children and for the society we live in.
What I know is this,” he continues, “if we take the time to educate ourselves… Take the time to look in each others background, we’ll find the answer we are looking for.”
“So how do we accomplish this?” I ask
“Take personal responsibility… for yourself… for your kids… and for the environment that you live around,” Damian begins. It is impossible for me to ignore the love and passion for good that I see in his eyes… I listen.
“Always think before you talk… of what you do… because you affect other people. If you do what you say… the life you live… what you’ve chosen to take on as a human being… know that it really does affect other people. The things that you say have the power to destroy someone… or to build them up greatly. Your voice… your words… your tongue can take away someone’s life, or enhance it greatly. Don’t play with God, God is a real individual… and things really happen on this planet.
To the world I would really like to say this. Overcome your shortcomings… throw away personal vendettas… throw away greed, guile, mistrust. Learn to truly like a person for who they are, and not for the color of their skin; because in the end, you lose out, not the other way around.”
He quotes Albert Einstein: Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results,” a quote that (for good reason) has often been shared by many of our 365 friends.
With the blunt passion that one would expect from Damian, he gives us his concluding words of activation. “We know how far we will go… and we know how far we will not. History has shown us a reflection of ourselves, and what we will do when everything get’s down to the wire.
Don’t be that guy with butter on his head. The one that doesn’t know what’s going on… Be a contributor.”
So I ask myself, as Damian has challenged, what will I do when it get’s down to the wire?
A thought for us all, I guess?

“For Our Future Warriors”

Screen Shot 2013-10-06 at 6.41.20 PMI just finished watching a simple little film, “Into The White.” Directed by Norwegian director Petter Naess. In it, two flight crews, one from a German bomber and the other from a British plane, find themselves surviving together in the frigid conditions of Norway’s mountain, where both planes crashed in a remote area. It’s one of those enemies become allies plots that mainstream Hollywood often uses for theatrical cache. But what make this story remarkable is the factual incident that backs its storyline and outcome. Not trying to make myself out as a film critic… the farthest thing from my mind as I write this entry. What is relevant…? The ethical question the film poses.

Mainly this, How willing are we to look beyond our sociological histories and political programming?

A thought, that willing to or not, forces us to ask… why is it that at many times, we so easily dismiss the basic fact that we are all equally human? Evolved from similar wombs of mirror like origin we were all once the same innocent baby. Infants with no agenda’s propelled by hearts meek and mild. Added to that many of us are parents, husbands, wives, brothers and sisters. Statistics that are undeniably real and with the resonance of a musical track can lovingly ring in our memories. An aspiration that can pause us to look upon the kind, and yes, even more difficultly, the impolite with at least a note of compassion– regardless of attitudes, politics, religion, race, creed or own bias in acknowledging one absolute… Our blood bleeds the same red?

For the characters of Into The White it took a literal fight for survival to break the walls that separated them. Most likely we’ll never find ourselves in the depths of having to make a life or death decision in regards to whom we are associating or fighting with. But on a macro perspective, comparable wall-dropping opportunities appear to each on a daily basis. Hour by hour, we have to reason with our internal motivators in navigating how we choose to relate with, and react to, our fellow beings. It matters not if in a social or business situation. It matters not if we are outspoken or reserved. It matters not if we are frightened or confident. What matters is the wake we  leave in our paths.

The grand reflection– Do we desire to build or do we desire to conquer? We all possess the seeds to empower incremental change to the world around us. Be it negative or positive, the choice is independently ours.

Much like the conflict illustrated by a Hitler manipulated crew of Into the White as they overcame their biases learning to literally love they’re, at first, very arrogant British pilot and gunman, we too are suspect to the influential voice of propaganda (and know that I’m not supporting Hitler’s agenda by any means). Sure, we are not two drastically opposing Air Force crews forced into arctic survival. We are much more diverse than that. But in a strange way we are not that different in being suspect to loosing ourselves to whatever programming we are living. Similar to the resolve and loving friendship that is illustrated by the German and British flight crews of Into the White, we too have what it takes to revisit the reasoning behind our intent.

That is why Operation-365 exists, to rally us to look away from the “they are this! Or they are that!” Assumptions that tend to hit the innocent populous with tyrannical frequency in reeking heavy casualty. For what reason it happens, I’ll never fully understand.

I’ll leave answering that question to the scholars and analysts. For now, my concern lies elsewhere… in the hearts of each of us.

We“The Silent Majority…” Us… “The Real Every Day People,” have cause to stand together ignoring any diverted course that some so diligently work to place before us. That we, the majority of the every day, will fight with tenacity to focus on one very definitive and empathetic finish line– that being passing the baton of what’s right. What’s to come? I cannot predict, but here is one thought that might be persuasive, At the end of the game, may we all be able to rest our heads knowing that our footprint mattered… and that we trained our future warriors well.

All for now, my good friends,

Richard

SideWalk Ghosts / Interview 373: "The War Is At Hand"

RADSTONE_Operation 36502“Learn from your first mistake and keep going after it… it’s going to be different next time.“
Easy words to share, but very difficult to follow, but as they are delivered by artist Carolyna, today’s stranger… now 365 friend of 365, I feel a peace in knowing she follows her advice.
I only meet with her for a few minutes, yet as we chat, there is a common thread of perspective. Viewpoints that reach far beyond art and dive under the skin in examining what make us tick a species human. Sure Carolyna, wears the coat of the creative. And, as a very skilled ceramic artisan, speaks a dialogue of the same account. But what she speaks of is relevant to the global issues that are painfully ransacking the Earth’s population; thoughts that can provoke us to survey our outlooks (whether conservative or radical) on how, what and why we contribute to the world around us.
Albert Einstein quoted,  “Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results,” a theory that led him to great achievement in his life– as well as uncountable contributions to the betterment of the mankind.
“Don’t mind-fuck yourself and tell yourself this time it is going to be different,” Carolyna states in building upon her opening comment. A change of vocabulary, but in a way, so aligned with the magnificent Mr. Einstein.
“There is a lot wrong with the world…” Carolyna expands, “…and a lot of things we can’t just change. Like we can’t force people to have empathy towards each other or animals or something like that.”
Carolyna continues her dialogue, but as she does, I have to admit that her expression of empathy catches me so profoundly that is become difficult to not wander my mind as we chat.
Per Mirriam-Websters Dictionary
em·pa·thy – noun (ˈem-pə-thē): the feeling that you understand and share another person’s experiences and emotions : the ability to share someone else’s feelings.
Many a time we speak of issues, politics, religion, race and an endless list of reasons for the condition of world affairs. Billions of dollars are spent on programs and initiatives. Most of which somehow seem to often widen the already fractured gaps in society. Yes, as Carolyna states, there are a lot of things in the world that we can’t change; but what of the things that we can?
Sure, I am a hopeless optimist, have my bad days as we all do, but all in all I try to keep my eyes open. Yet, after meeting so many amazing strangers… all so diverse, all with something to say, and all with the same blood as I– I have witnessed first hand that there is more than enough good to go around. At is center I’ve noticed a common thread… You got it… Empathy.
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Carolyna challenges us, “I guess the more love we expose people to– the higher hope they have of changing. And that might change the world in the future. Like, if we give more people opportunity to express themselves, we become more like individual beings vs. a cluster-fuck of people. I don’t know… maybe that might help us find ourselves and we might be better human beings in the future.”

I ask. “What do you mean by express ourselves…? Verbally? Artistically? Soulfully?”
“However your way of expressing yourself may be…” She responds, “…Some people can’t express themselves vocally or verbally. They have to blog or something, through music or poetry. Some people fight… whatever it may be… just do it.”
“Some people fight?” that throws me for a little loop. Yet in reflection, I think I understand what Carolyna is speaking of– Simply this… the fight for what’s right in humanity… not so much for what’s there to own.
radstone_portrait_photography_day 218As so well described by Gaetiao, our Sicilian friend of Day 218: “We Need to Show More Open Hand Than the Fist.
Carolyna… Gaetiao, thank you for your perspectives, looks like you have inspired us to arms. But this battle is really not a war as we know it… for as we write our orders and ready our weapons, we are called to adjust our tactics… The new war is upon us and our attack plans are clear. At the center are two basic commands… Proceed with empathy and strike out with the open hand.
Talk soon my friends,
Richard

SideWalk Ghosts: Ved’s Call to All Great Citizens

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It has been a while since we’ve received a survey contribution from anyone. Today Interview-365 gets a kickoff as we extend a warm welcome to our new friend, Ved of New Delhi, India.
Our doors will remain always open to all of you who would like to share your words of wisdom.  PLEASE CLICK HERE TO SHARE.
Good Day for 7 Daysfb 3.28.01 PMAlso, we are entering day 2 of our “Good Day for Seven Days” challenge. Plenty of ways to be part of what we are doing. Never forget, your works and words do matter; and, we combined have great power to inspire the many.
VED’S ANSWERS:
If you had the stage… the undivided attention of the world… and all were listening… What words of wisdom, council or advice would you share?
“Keep religion a personal thing. Faith is personal. Respect everyone and give space. We have enough problems to solve. The least we can do is unite to fight against bigger problems like poverty, hunger, global environment, illiteracy. If you don’t want to love all, don’t, but don’t spread hatred. Every human on this planet commands respect for there is at least one aspect or a thing that they’re better than you.”
Looking toward the future… as far, or as close as you want to imagine (one year or hundreds of years)– Where do you see the people or the planet … or, what do you think we should be doing now to prepare for the future?
“From where I come from I see a decline in the quality of education. Unless corruption is uprooted from the society it’ll continue to rot our culture. The main aim of education should be to bring up better citizens but unfortunately we’re bringing up only certificate holders and not great citizens. If we are, they’re being outnumbered by bad ones and they’ll be bad parents one day passing on the bad vibes to the society.”

SideWalk Ghosts / Interview 372: "What Make Us Tick?"

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“About 7 years ago, I had a new f250 super duty white beautiful truck, and a 26-foot cabin cruiser that I loved, and a home south of the Blvd. in Woodland Hills, and because of construction jobs going bad and some cocaine abuse I was arrested for going to a customer’s business and asking to get paid. They obviously had some pull in Santa Monica and had me arrested for stalking… of all things. Because I had no money for a lawyer, I had to do 90 days in L.A. County Jail, which isn’t fun. Then, to get out early, I took the option to go into the Salvation Army where I stayed for a year, living there in Santa Monica. I lost everything in a day… or hours. Was pretty tough. I’ve been sober now for 6-plus years and sometimes things just happen that aren’t very fun and are very painful, but you come through the other side a new person, completely changed and searching for the new ‘you.’ It’s a life-long journey. But it’s much better being healthy and sober. As far as the dreams that were crushed, that’s still yet to be seen. But so many have already been fulfilled.”
Musician, drummer and contractor, Mark, hides no secrets in speaking of his life history. A man of sincerity, he sits next to me today as I hang out at a California park, surveying that area for new friends.
He pedals up with a warm “Hello,” striking up a casual conversation about the day. And you know me… any stranger who talks with me is a new friend of ours.
This whole 365 thing is a very interesting proposition, and now with only a few interviews conducted since taking pause from my original daily challenge (September 9, 2011 to September 9, 2012), I feel as if I am getting a booster-shot to loving the world around me. The vaccine? A much healthier perspective than a closed heart that fears hurt or rejection. The fine writing on the medicine label: “This vaccine may remind you of the fact that we are not alone in any of our personal experiences. You are human, and the more you look beyond the confines of your own skin and situation, the more you may realize just how much slowing down your pace of life will allow you to see the people around you, and yourself, more clearly.”
Yes, my time away from writing daily entries really left a hole in my life, and now that I am recommitting to at least a few articles a week, I find myself reopening my eyes again, and more importantly, my heart, to the world around me… something that I will always encourage us all to do.
It is far too easy to become isolated within our self-defined comfort zone, figuring that our situation is unique and no-one understands. So instead of risking the exposure of dropping our walls, we stand strong to terms like endure and self-protect, rather than leaning to more active outlooks, like share and listen. We program ourselves to defend rather than accept, to argue rather than resolve, to judge rather than to question. A scale of perspective that, once chosen, is the foundation of modeling who we are or who we are becoming. We do have the power to attract or to repel. In the end, the choice is ultimately ours.
One of the greatest men of all time, Mahatma Gandhi, gave us a key to guiding our choices when he said, “The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others.” And sometimes it takes only a simple acknowledgement of the person next to us to put us on the right path.
So the question then is defined… do we pause to allow the therapeutic results of this simplified view of the world to take effect in our lives? And if we do, what will the outcome be? One thing I now know from experience is that, at many times, the most remarkable unifier can be even the smallest of kind gesture. We all leave wakes in our path and they are palpable influences to many around us… no matter where we are. I could write a book on the subject (actually, I am… hoping to have one completed by the end of 2013), but the uplifting possibilities are universal to all who embrace one simple notion: even though we all have diverse histories, attitudes and burdens, we all flow the same red blood.
Operation365_Radstone_Day372aMark is brave to open his drug abuse history to us. In doing so he extends the greatest trust and, I bet, he is also rewarded with a greater confidence and purpose for his existence. As he said, “Sometimes things just happen that aren’t very fun and are very painful, but you come through the other side a new person, completely changed and searching for the new you.”
He tells us a little more about his years of cocaine use. “In a way, you just start to pull away from the world and isolate. Because things might not be working out, people might not be responding how you want them to. You start to judge and predict a lot of what is going to happen. Your whole perception of life changes a little bit. You isolate further and further… it’s a bad place to go to. I was not a huge user… I did a little bit every day for a long period of time.”
We talk about the pros and cons of our actions and decisions, arriving at a unified consensus. In Mark’s words, “Being healthy and respecting yourself and your body. Eating right. Sleeping right. Trying to stay close to friends and relationships. Finding out whatever it is that makes you tick… inside. Looking for what makes you happy and trying to achieve it. If it is too big of a goal… having a back up for sure, so you don’t get your heart-broken, and just being kind to people for the most part. Not hating. Trying to smile and wave at people. Saying ‘Thank You, and being polite.”
I have to ask, “How do you find what make you tick?”
 “I believe in God,” Mark admits. “There is definitely a higher power.” He continues by challenging us to listen to our internal voice. “Try not to do something if you don’t want too. For example, don’t get married if you don’t think you can do it. That’s a huge mistake that so many people make in their life because they want a mate. I see people in marriages that are really unhappy and divorce is really huge. It breaks everybody apart. Find the things that you really love to do and do them.”
Easily said, but a tall order to fulfill. Especially in a world with so many external influences pushing us to go left or right. Even at times suppressing us to the unhappy acceptance of, “This is just how it is and there is nothing I can do to change it… live with it.”
So I probe further. “How do you find the things you really love?”
Mark quickly responds, “’You have to try things. Sometimes you just have to walk through things and have them happen before you discover what it is. You can always say, ‘I think I am just going to do this.’ For me, I think God just put inside of me a lot of drive to just do things.
“I think there is a bigger power that is watching over us. I think the world will never destroy itself. I think we are kind of on the right track. I think we are getting a little bit better, which I didn’t think would happen. I think people are starting to be a little bit more friendly… feel more open. I see more people starting to go out again. I think we’ll keep growing as long as globally, as a unit, we don’t try to destroy the world. If we can try to communicate more as a people, and be kinder to each other…
“I think we are kind of on the right track,” Mark suggests. And if this is true, there is one point we must fully examine in deciding exactly how we will contribute to what’s ahead… Simply: What make us tick?
Mark, I hope to see you again my new friend!

Sidewalk Ghosts / Interview 371: "Of Romance, Technology and Implanted MicroChips"

_L2R3095Mark advises, “People need to be more open about having an opinion about everything, and actually questioning what they do, why they do it… and especially things that they are told to do.”
Then he questions, “Why then do they go ahead and do it? I think a lot of people do a lot in their everyday life without questioning it.”
Then he councils, “And if people question things a lot more, then I think a lot of things in the world that shouldn’t happen, might not happen–and it’s because people don’t question it. I think just taking the time to formulate your own opinion about something… and it could be something minor… just getting into that routine of actually questioning and thinking. Because too many people, I think, just blindly follow what they are told. And what they do is probably just out of habit as well. I think this would make the world a much better place. And it would make people a lot stronger… it would make the community global.”
We talk about the impact Facebook and other social media has on the way we act and think. Not bagging on it. The new face of communication in here to stay; we’ll talk about Mark’s thoughts on what’s to come in a moment. But for now, the main point of our discussion leans more toward how we use social media. Posing a couple of questions. First: Are we using it responsibly, or are we just fishing for superficial likes? And Second: At first glance, do we believe all that we read and react to it before we gather the facts?
Both excellent points to ponder–points that are core to the approach Operation-365 is following in hopes of inspiring us to raise our heads from time to time, that we may increase our desire for face-to-face interaction with the world around us…. even with strangers.
Mark suggests a path to follow in using social media. “A lot of people will blindly like something because it say, ‘Here is a fact.’ That is utterly is the wrong way to approach it. You can’t question everything, but you should, at the back of your mind, say, ‘Do I really believe that?’ and if I am passionate enough to like it, or to go away and tell somebody else, then perhaps I should look into it before I go and tell someone that it is true or what the real problem is.”
“Informed decision,” I add to the conversation.
“Exactly…” Mark responds, “…that’s exactly what it is… just taking the time to tell yourself that you need to be informed… especially on Facebook.”
He elaborates, “An invalid comment on something that is invalid… what a waste!”
I turn to Mary, “What council do you have for the world, if all were listening?”
_L2R3107She smiles (something she does with constant warmth and charm), “My answer is a little more optimistic… I guess…” Her smile is infectious, and with it bridges to a unifying core idea. “I think that people need to be kinder. Kinder to themselves and kinder to other people. I think that most of the problems happening in this world…” she pauses and skips a beat. “I guess I believe that most people are inherently good and somewhere along the line they are taught certain things and they don’t question things. They get used to a certain way of being and a certain way of living, and they get used to being closed-off to the idea of seeing or experiencing anything new.”
She stirs us to self-examination, “Take your time to open yourself up to not operate with all the frequency of notions that your parents or your society have instilled in you–the good will come out…” a slight pause… “Perhaps that is a little bit idealistic.”
What Mary is talking about has hit at the foundation of what 365 is all about. You’ve often heard me talk of the silent majority–you and I, everyday people doing what we can to live harmoniously with each other. People, although not all in absolute agreement, most often are willing to at least look upon one another with dignity, respect and without scorn. So Mary (and I will take this moment to get personal), I don’t think you are too idealistic. Actually, you are one of the chosen ambassadors in the cause of loving our neighbors.
So I guess that I too am an idealist, but one with a few facts to ground my… yes, overly optimistic perspective. My evidence? The close to two-years of meeting strangers. My findings? The silent majority is real.
I’ve done a little math and the results show that of all the individuals I have approached (I’m guessing now pretty close to 3000), two-thirds are at least willing to engage in a sharing dialogue. Not always on the same page, but of this majority, none have attacked me for my beliefs and I not theirs. Really quite the opposite–we somehow managed to drop our walls and find common ground. People of all race, religion, gender, age, and the ever-argued sexual preference have interacted with one general resolve. That being? That there are far more people seeking betterment and good-will than those of darker outlooks.
So Mary, you are right, and we should all take heed to your wisdom.
“Are you still recording,” (I always record our interviews), Mark inquires.
“Yes.”
In perfect British form Mark acknowledges, “Splendid!”
L2R3“In my opinion…” he transitions as he looks to the future, “…even though we have been talking about Facebook and technology, what I think humanity has in store will probably be a more intimate connection between the biology and technology. I would imagine that the future probably holds some sort of implant of future technologies.
“Rather than chin down and staring at your phone to communicate via Facebook, we will be more sort of a global consciences connected by implanted technologies that are tapped in at a subconscious level. And that may help us as a global community.
“Perhaps there is a lack of understanding that we have because we are so extracted from each other. Maybe when we are interconnected on that intimate level, perhaps we’ll begin to understand each other better. Or perhaps we will all start to become so similar by that point that we will become bland enough to understand each other.” Mary chuckles as Mark smiles with a little sarcastic humor. “But I suspect that is probably where we will be in 50…100 years,” he concludes.
Wow… has Mark been smoking too much of the whacky stuff? Absolutely not! He is as sober and confident as any genius can be. You see, Mark is not speaking as if influenced by Sci-Fi Hollywood. He is speaking from fact. Facts that he has gained through his many years as a key scientist and researcher at the University of Reading, where he earned his PhD. Yes Dr. Mark Gasson is the real deal.
He tells me about how microchip technology is now being used for medical purposes. Things like heart monitors, pacemakers and brain stimulators that are used for Parkinson’s disease. “We’ve already got implantable technology that are basically computers.” Mark explains, “And a lot now have Wi-Fi so that health information can be taken out of these things remotely. So the fundamentals of that stuff are already available. Look at the rapid development of technology. A few advances of medical technology and the tangible benefits of implant technology is there.”
Screen Shot 2013-07-16 at 11.35.31 AMHe rolls up his sleeve. “Do you want to see my bump?” It’s a little microchip that has been implanted in Marks hand. Here is a link to the whole story of why it is there.
Mary breaks in with a smile, “10 minutes before my meter expires.” She runs to put more change in. I take it as a sign, asking me to respect Mark and Mary’s time.
Mark and I small talk for a few minutes and when Mary’s returns I know it’s time to wrap things up.
“Mary… you’re thoughts on the future?” I turn to her as she sits beside Mark. “I don’t necessarily know where the world will be in a year or 100 years. But the less isolated… the less polarized, separated and defined in the small ways we are… the better things will be.” She opens up a little further. “My experience with people who are very closed off and have very different opinions about the world and other people… but when they actually know someone who is of a different religion, or a different sexuality, creed or political belief than they are… then they have sympathy in a way that they never did before—when they were sitting around a table with people who were exactly like them; thought exactly like them or did the things they did.” Another infectious Mary laugh… “Hardly deep.”
_L2R3087But coming from Mary, it is deep and meaningful. She tells me of her family differences and of experiences with friends. All of who, she says, have opened up over the years, and all of whom she speaks of with the greatest love and compassion. It is obvious that Mary has a huge heart.
“Anybody who doesn’t close themselves off… gets to know someone,” she continues, “…and that is connected to an inherently good thing. I think that people want to connect with other people. And if you are open to that change, then it can change you. But you have to be open to the change.”
OK, curiosity is killing me. I know it’s time for me to depart, but there is one last question that I have to ask, “Sorry if I’m getting too personal. Are you friends, family, co-workers?”
“It’s our third date,” Mary lights up.
Mark, Mary… Thank you for allowing me into your lives, and especially during your third date. Your words are wise and your facts well founded.
Happy romancing my new friends!

Sidewalk Ghosts / Interview 370: A Man Of Pure Intent

_L2R3053 Pat opens up, “Learn as much as you can on everything. Don’t just limit yourself to one aspect. Your brain is always learning. It’s a processor. You might fail a couple of times, but it doesn’t hurt you to keep trying until you master it.”

Homeless for three years, Pat is one of the many who have been hit hard by life circumstance. A man of honor and intellect, he works past his trust issues as he soberly speaks with us regarding the hand that has been dealt him.

“After three years on the streets I just established a place to live. It’s a 10’x10’ shed in a friend’s backyard. I worked out a trade in doing the gardening and house caretaking. I’ve got some of my stuff back and I’m getting back on my feet. But it’s hard. You have to come out here all the time to find cans to make money for food. It does not leave you much time on the computer to look for a job. And if you do, you send a resume. And how many resumes have already gone there… 1,000, 5,000?”

Right now Pat does have a seasonal job, sharpening ice skates at an outdoor skating rink. Yet, it is only for a few months of the year. The money does carry him a bit, but he is looking for a re-hire in the trucking industry. Now, the skeptical might say that Pat is living off the system. Perhaps some might even judge his character by assuming that he does not even desire employment… I assure you, that is not the case. Pat explains:

“I was brought up with ethics. I was brought up with principles. I was brought up with standards. I was brought up with honor. I did not have a choice. I mean, when I was born I was already in the military. My father was a sergeant and taught me the meaning of work.

“Some people look at people and say, ‘What a looser. He’s picking trash to get food, and he is probably this or that,’ but I have never collected welfare. Never in my life. I’ve never gone that far to get that much help from the government, or the State, for that matter. I mean… I could at any time. But I choose to make my own way.

_L2R3068“…Anybody could be in my shoes.” Pat compassionately proposes. “I had two houses at one time. I had two trucks, a motorcycle and a boat… I had a lot of shit. But then my life started collapsing.”

Pat calls himself a survivor. A well-earned title that can be summed up with one undeniable fact–Pat is on his own. “My father died in 69. I was 10. It happens”

“Mom became a full-time drunk in 70s. I took care of the kids. I had a younger brother (6 years) and a younger sister (1 ½ years).”

 “Are your brother and sister OK?” I ask.

“I already buried them… they’re all dead,” he matter-of-factly replies. “I’m the sole survivor of my family. Mom, dad, grandfather, grandmother, uncles, aunts, brother, sister, my lover, my kids… it just goes on and on.”

We shift gears to the future.

“You don’t talk to people anymore. They are too busy texting,” Pat begins.

“Electronics are supposed to help us, but I think they are doing more trouble than we accept. People go to Google too fast. When I was a kid we went to the library and looked things up. What happens if they shut down the Internet?

“Every generation is getting lazier. I remember sitting with my grandfather. Sitting around the campfire telling stories. Now they walk down the street, too busy texting. Or they have their iPads or have their plugged ears with their screaming music. What happened to, ‘Hey, how you doing?’

“I don’t get the new generation. I sit back and say, ‘Are you kidding me! Is this what we have to look forward to? Is this our future?’

“And what if something catastrophic happen–people today can’t build a shelter, can’t farm and can’t even start a fire without matches? People who have gone through survival training, served as a Marine, like myself, and my father, might be OK… but what about everyone else?”

_L2R3070Pat talks of a compelling resolve. Although the premise is dark, he suggests that the outcome may fall toward the positive. “We need a war.” He directs, “We need population adjustment. We have an immigration problem. I’m an American, but I’m an immigrant myself. My parents came over on a boat. But we went through the system. We took the tests. We got our citizenship. We didn’t get all this free shit. Now it takes about 13 years to get citizenship. Hell, they’ll be grandfathers by then. The government has to figure a better way.”

War? A very extreme proposition–one that is presented by a man who has served his country (a full-term as a Marine); an idea that no-one of just mind wants to entertain. But Pat has lived a tough life and has experienced the hurting effects of loss of family, livelihood and, I’m sure, some of his dignity. Yet in speaking with him, I can only speak of a man of honor and conviction. A man willing to do what is just in his mind and a man brave enough to stand behind his word. He tells you what he feels and you know where you stand. And that itself is to be admired.

“Do you drink?” I inquire, (an assumption that far too many make when meeting the homeless).

“Only three times a year,” Pat replies. “I’ll drink a fifth when I celebrate my birthday, on the Fourth of July and for New Year’s.

“August is my birthday and I’ll get shit faced. I’ll say, ‘Happy Birthday to me. There ain’t going to be no party… no bells and whistles… no cake. No one gives a shit. No one matters.

“You know who you matter to.” I point to the sky.

“When I go to heaven,” Pat states, “I’m going to Hell, because I want to know why he took everything away from me… and he better have a damn good reason or I’m going to break his nose. And I know down there, He doesn’t want me… I don’t know. I could go either way.”

I assure Pat that he is not evil. I know this for certain. The last two years of approaching strangers has put me in the path of 1,000s of people. I’ve met some of the most amazing individuals, and frighteningly, a few that I felt may have been truly evil, and there is nothing in Pat’s continence that exudes anything close to the coldness I’ve encountered from several very scary people I’ve come across. All I see is a man doing his best to deal with the stress of his situation.

We talk of the fact that anybody is able to commit bad acts. Even the best of people, if pushed to their limits, are capable of terrible things. But that is different from having pure evil in their hearts. We talk about the balance of true justice and restitution. How punishment has to fit the crime.

Pat is no fan of the current system. “True justice is not like the court system as it is now and the government loopholes. Before they pass anything now they have to figure out how they are going to make money.

“My motto… Burn the government down and start again,” he jests as we jump to a discussion of the foreclosure crash. “That was a fire sale,” Pat summarizes.

In the end we conclude that everyone on earth has a purpose, and for those who have since left this planet, perhaps they have left us for a higher call as well.

I call Pat a new friend. He prefers to be called an associate. In this we agree on middle ground. We are all human beings living side by side.

Pat– Thank you for your wisdom. Your words do matter my friend.