Community Building

If you’ve been reading my blog, you know I’m in Hawaii on business this week. Last night, I ranted a little about being trapped in Hilton resort solitary confinement.

One would think that the smart side of me would have taken another journey away from Hawaiian Village. But leaning on the not so intelligent side of my brain, I decide to cruise the hotel grounds for a second time. A mostly terrible idea. Man! I’m self abusive.

3 hours down and I’ve not met a soul. Vacation culture is very interesting to study. So many people around, all of whom are either not wanting to be approached or obviously hiding behind a facade character, playing an away from home fantasy.

It’s late in the evening and thus far, not a hope in sight of anyone to photograph. I’ve circled the resort so many times that I’m feeling management will soon post signs saying, “Radstone path, this way.”

Feet are barking! I’m starting to get discouraged! Is this the night that I fail in my mission to meet a new friend?

With feelings of defeat brewing in my heart, I reluctantly set a final path towards my room, already mentally working out an apologetic entry for day 29 blog entry. I’ve almost composed my tribute to failure in my mind, when absolute sunshine appears before me.

Closing a clothing stand, I see Irina. There is something about her that draws my attention. A special glow that I am starting to recognize as Aloha. The still small voice engages, “Introduce yourself to her, she is special.” When it speaks, I listen.

I walk up, bleed my heart regarding the frustration of the last 3 hours wandering and invite her to be tonight’s 365 friend. She smiles with a touch of embarrassment and delicately volunteers to be part of the project.

She locks up her kiosk and we sit for a most pleasant conversation.

Born in Russia, Irina speaks with a clear and passionate dialect. There is a certain comfort that comes from speaking with her. A feeling that I am starting to recognize emanating from all those living on the island.

The only way to define it is, “love of life, nature and fellow-man.” It’s infectious and I am growing to love it.

As we chat, my regret for staying at the hotel grounds quickly turns to gratitude in meeting Irina. Her peaceful spirit is captivating.

It’s been a long day and I can tell we are both fighting to keep focus. With the evening nearly over, both of us admittedly tiered, I ask my final questions.

Accompanied by warmth, laughter and youthful wisdom, Irina shares these closing statements as we call it a night.

“Don’t look back, always look forward.” Great council from a young soul.

“Enjoy the process, not the result.” One more gem of philosophy.

In parting, I double-check to see if there is anything else she wants to leave for you, my readers.

In the spirit that has so smitten me for 20 minutes of chatting Irina says one last note:

“Dreams do come true in Hawaii!”

Irina,

Mahalo Nui Loa

Tonight my faith in humanity is strengthened. There is no need to talk to heavily of the day. You’ve heard enough of my whereabouts this week.

Need only to make one personal statement: “I have to get out of this hotel to meet some other people!”

New friends of the week, know that there is nothing against you. It’s just the resort walls are creeping in on me and I have to find some open air. I’m grateful for your fellowship and trust, you have expanded my horizons. But to be fair to diversity and to the 365 mission, I must reach out beyond the walls of Hilton Hawaiian Village in finding other perspectives.

That said, I need to tell you about a chance meeting this evening, so say aloha to Nathan.

There are just too many levels of amazing about this articulate, intelligent and humble dude. He and I bump into each other as I chat with the managers of a hostel I have wandered into just up the street from where I am staying. I’m originally smitten by its slightly dark and intimidating facade, a wonderful contrast to the overly groomed grounds now 6 days common to me.

Twenty minutes into conversation with the proprietors, when accompanied by a friend, up walks Nathan. Sincere Aloha’s are exchanged and I’m welcomed as if I am native Hawaiian, hug and all. I’m blown away by this gesture, realizing that this moment is meant to be. Wait till you see just how small the world is.

Immediately a warm conversation begins. Twenty more minutes pass and every nerve in my body tells me here is the man of the evening. I break away from our topic and show him 365 on my iPad. He more than graciously agrees to be today’s friend.

What sealed the deal? Last week one of my new 365 friends turns out to be one of Nathans cousins. I’m almost knocked off my feet (see Jonathan in 365 Day 21 / We’re All In This Life Together). Makes sense, Nathan has a huge family.

Fifteen brothers and sisters to be exact. All true Hawaiians, literally birthed in their home – island style. He speaks lovingly of his relationship with the old country, sharing with me his stories of  Hawaii, all the way back to where he was born; Laie, Oahu.

Still hung up on the sheer size of his family, I can’t help to ask if his mother is still living? With the smile of a well cared for child, he answers, “Oh Yeah, a happy 76.” He tells me of how she kept the house in order and was no push over. “A strong island woman,” he says.

Carrying on the legacy of his mothers upbringing, Nathan proudly tells me of his two children, one of which is on a full scholarship to USC. That in itself is reason for celebration.

We talk of the times he lived on the Main Land: California, New Orleans, Washington and Las Vegas working in the hospitality industry. All of which left him reflecting on Hawaii.

“I’m a country boy,” he tells me. Followed by a heartfelt and touching story. An experience that happened after years away. Hopefully I can give it the justice the story deserves.

He arrives home, feels the air, smells the earth and sees the land he has missed. As he exits the plane, a fellow traveler throws a cigarette butt to the ground and stamps it out.

I know this sounds hoaky, but I’m looking into his eyes and know his love for the land is real.

He tells me of his bending to pick it up, grasping not only the discarded remnant of inconsideration, but a handful of the soil he was raised on.

The earth falls between his fingers. He tells me at that moment, He knew he was home!

I think I’m starting to understand the full meaning of Aloha.

I ask my final questions.

Where do you see yourself in ten years?

The basic answer, owning a market selling only Hawaiian products.

There is more to the answer though. He goes on to express the importance of developing local agriculture, and the lands that are not fully used to their best advantage. He also speaks of the need for conservation on the islands. His dream is that his market can be part of not only stimulating the local economy, but also brings awareness of the bountiful resources that Hawaii provides.

I really respect this guy.

And Finally, What would you like to share with my readers?

Come to Hawaii, Enjoy it for what it is, and please keep progress responsible.

Readers. Please Listen.

Nathan,

Mahalo Nui Loa

I have to admit, “tonight I’m waisted.” A week of long days is slowing me a little. 11:00pm and fighting to keep my eyes open. Since my arrival here 5 days ago, It’s been full throttle. Wake up at 5:45am, hit the pillow at 1:00am. You’ve got to allow me this moment of numbness, so please forgive my lethargic point-of-view as I start this entry. Weak, I know, but honest.

The drill sergeant on my shoulder kicks in, shouting! “Radstone, enough already, quit whining. You’re making me want to yak. Man up mister! You’re working with the military, show some respect, get off your butt, leave the refuge of your hotel room and go find a new friend.”

I’m sobered, 26 days into 365, not near long enough to have earned any pity stripes. Time to lean on my own council and pay attention to the soapbox I’ve been sharing with the JPAC men and women all week: “No matter what you are shooting, good or bad, dull or exciting, it is your responsibility to view it as an opportunity for creative growth, or at least a vehicle to share a message.”

A quick self slap and off to the elevator I go. Surely, somewhere between floors is a new friend to be found. I find them quickly on floor 26, my floor.

We make eye contact, I pause, almost not introducing myself, when that gut thing boots up. It is rapidly becoming wholly evident, to the depths of my core, that I am growing as a human and artist.

In past, I probably would have passed at the introduction, choosing to silently nod or perhaps return a smile. Now however, that is less of an option. A decision driven not by mental choice, but a soulfully owned desire to learn the stories of everyone I encounter. Edgy to conservative, open to closed off.

Pandora’s box is open. It’s hello’s to the world as I navigate through it. And I want to understand whomever I meet.

With twenty-six 365 portraits behind me, I’m also learning to let go of technical compulsively in accepting, “not all of my photos need to be technically perfect, especially these ones.”

What is important, “can I form a trusting relationship with an absolute stranger, and capture a thumbnail of a person’s persona in a relatively short time?” To date, somewhere between 10 and 30 minutes.

To sum it up, at least for 365, “the story is greater than execution.”

Tonight’s story:
I’m in the elevator, floor 25, floor 24, floor 23, stomach telling me to speak to my descending neighbors. By floor 21 I can take it no longer, time to open my mouth. The doors open in the lobby and I have two new friends for the moment.

Meet Lisa and her husband Vinnie. By their names, I hope you can put two and two together in figuring out they are two great Italians, hailing from Minnesota. Reason for the Hawaii visit, “we come very often to visit our daughter, a nurse living on the islands.”

There is one thing you need to know about us Jews and the Italians, “we get along fabulously.” It’s that mama’s guilt syndrome. Here is how it works “what do you mean you’re full, you’ve barely touched your plate, you can eat more.” To that, add an ample amount of smothering and you know what binds us.

Lisa, Vinie and I sit for a few minutes and small talk. Their love for each other is infectious. It’s easy to see that they are a united couple. I ask, “what is the secret to a happy marriage?” Vinie replies, “Yes Dear.”

I share a humorously reactive expression, we all laugh and understand exactly what he is saying.

The phone rings. It’s their daughter. She is at the hotel driveway to pick them up. We share handshakes and information.

Vinnie, Lisa, hope we run into each other again.

Aloha my new friends!

Tonight I shake hand’s with men of honor. A great and uplifting way to bring a very long day to a close.

The working day behind us, my good friend Thiep and I walk into Schooner’s for a dinner conversation. It’s a cool little restaurant just outside of Pearl Harbor. We walk in and I can not ignore the presence of two tables happily playing dominos. At table one sits a group of men, and, at table two sits there life’s sweethearts. We’ll get to their story in a moment.

Let’s talk about Thiep and the other amazing people he works with for a bit. Thiep is an extremely humble man of great depth. At only 29 he has seen parts of the world and experienced situations that would put many of us in state of paralysis.

While we dine, he shares accounts of his travels around the globe working with JPAC. Every time I chat with him and those he serves with, my respect for exactly what JPAC does grows monumentally.

One thing you need to know about this division of photographers, selected from all branches of the military. They are tireless, committed and compassionate to their mission: Finding and bringing home the remains of our missing-in-action war hero’s, all of whom honorably gave their lives for the countries that they so dearly loved.

This week I’ve had the absolute honor and privilege to present a workshop to the group. It’s been an awesome experience training them, learning of exactly what they do and plain right getting to know them on an individual basis.

In a nutshell, they pretty much sacrifice time with family, safety, and at times their art in giving service to the many families haunted by lack of knowing exactly what happened to their lost loved ones are.

Please, take a moment of silence to bless the efforts of this special group and the families around the globe who are still seeking the answer, “where is my lost family.” Our prayers are with you.

Now what about the domino player’s?

I’m hoping that by the age, smiles and hats, You can figure out their history……..

If you’re guessing war veterans, ding! ding! ding! Here is a little math, 5 men, combined years of service to their nation? Over 100 years. Makes you think about the works of our servicemen and woman, and appreciate what we have, doesn’t it?

Walking up to their table, I give my usual 365 pitch, and all are smiles of acceptance, yet they break no stride in playing their game. And in a gesture to them, I decide to not get overly technical and simply grab a couple quick snap shots of them in action. However, they did work with me a little in providing a few direct at the camera expressions. What can I say? I’m somewhat charming.

With loyalty to the 365 project, there is no way I can walk away from the table without at least asking a couple of questions.

“Where do you see yourself in ten years?” I ask.

With rolls of laughter, they all point up to the sky.

“What would like to share with my readers?” I question.

Got to love these men!

Several Answers:
1) Enjoy life (starting to become a very common through line to 365)
2) The secret to a long life… “Keep Breathing.”
3) Get out and serve!
4) Jump off you Ass and onto an Elephant. They wink at me (a subliminal thing).

Conversation pleasantly over, I salute and retreat to my ride back to the hotel.

Trivia:
One of our new friends is a member of SAG (Screen Actors Guild), has appeared in multiple commercials and appearances, and is requested around the globe to play one of our most cherished holiday figures. Can you guess who the character is?

Tonight finds me beach combing once again. The sun dropping out of the sky like a bullet. I feel a twinge of concern slowly falling upon me, thinking it will be a shame to miss a Hawaiian sunset portrait.
Having just returned from the workshop I am teaching this week, I’m still dressed in my nice clothes. Feet are killing me, but a pause to change them could risk missing the descending light.

As I progress along the beach side path, it’s a mystery to me why everyone I approach says, “no thanks,” merely at the sight of me. They offer me no chance to open my mouth in explanation of my presence.

For a moment it dawns on me that perhaps there is an association forming linking me to the “naked analyst” shoot yesterday. Maybe there are enough people so offended by him, that my temporary community is now rejecting me? Man that would bite!

I question if my choice in photographing my under-dressed comrade was a wise one. That thought raises my blood to boil; thinking, “Heck to them! He is an interesting guy with a personal mission; it was my photo-journalistic responsibility to photograph him.”

Now resolved to relocate myself, I redirect my course towards the sanctuary of my hotel room to regroup in licking my wounds or rejection. Past the $25 hamburger, beyond the $22 egg roll, my plight is accepted. The beach patrons hate me. And you know what? “I’m a grown man, I can live with that.”

Esteem regained and almost to my room, I’m hit by a bolt of mind lightning. The green beach shirt I so proudly wear is almost identical to that worn by many of the resort employees. Crud! I’m now a hospitality photographer. What a turn in serendipity. No wonder the world is running from me. It sees me coming, camera in arm looking like a $30 to $50 room charge. Quick! Run! Hide!

Simple fix. I reverse my hat, return to the scene of my first rejection to give it one last college try. I guess people see me as ghetto or something and stop fearing me. Funny how the slightest change in appearance can project a completely different intent.

I make eye contact with a very cute family of three siblings taking snap shots of each other. I offer to take a photo of all of them with their camera.

We strike up a conversation, and they even remember seeing “naked analyst” the day before. More evidence that I am not loathed in these parts. Feeling relieved, I invite them to be tonight’s 365 friends. Two of the three agree.

In Hawaii for the first time celebrating their father’s 60th birthday, say “hi” to my new Korean friends Ju Young and her brother Fong Duk.

I’m telling you (and you most likely see it in their portrait), these two are having the time of their life.

They speak of Hawaiian fun days and are full of energy. I can’t help but be smitten by their colorful spirits.

Guys, a blast photographing you. Thanks for not running from me. Mahalo!