richard radstone

Day 135: Teach a Man to Fish

by

“My life is dedicated to giving people a second chance at a responsible life. From ex-convicts to recovering addicts to whatever, it does not matter; I want to help them.”

 There is no other way to start today’s entry other than just getting to the point. But for the sake of theatrics, I’ll give you a brief set up of the stage, let’s just call it:  Scene One: The Afternoon Walk With My Daughter. Destination: 7-Eleven for Slurpee madness. “It’s only 4-ish, we have plenty of time to run down the sugar.”

In the door and toward frozen beverage heaven we head, where it’s time for me to be enrolled in Frozen Beverage 101– mastering the flavor blend, taught by none other than daughter Radstone. It never ceases to amaze me of the art involved in a child preparing a Slurpee. Must have the right cup size, a full seal on the cap, and a full range of elbow movement for correct flow control of the lever pull.

Her preparation is masterful, and with the precision of a seasoned chemist, she mixes her secret blend. It’s a blur to me as I try to take notes, Cherry, Cola, Mango (???). I get what I can, but in the end, I ultimately give in, “Kiddo, next time I order a Slurpee, will you mix it for me?”

As always, my camera-rig is with me, so when we exchange a set of hellos with a parking lot stranger, the obvious progressing of rapport is to extend a 365 invite. Little do I know I am setting the ball rolling for a ninety-minute experience, an experience that teaches me the power of friendship, and the blessings that come from true acts of selflessness.

Say, “Hello” to new father, Manu, who right off the bat tells me, “When someone says, ‘Hi,’ say ‘Hi,’ back to them.’”

Manu talks of his childhood: “I traveled a lot as a kid, most of the states, camping with my mother. People are different out of Los Angeles; in general, they are more open and friendly. I learned from that and we need to be the same.”

From this, and pulling from his life experience, Manu gives us three calls to action:

1) Be nice to other people.

2) Respond kindly to the world around you.

3) Love each other.

Manu asks, “Can I take a photo with my son?”

“Absolutely,” I respond.

To the Jeep, Manu goes, and a minute later is standing in front of me with the most beautiful newborn. Takes me back to the days of my daughter’s infancy, reminding me to love every moment of every day.

We take a few photos and being respectful to Manu’s family, who have been patiently waiting throughout our chat, I keep it brief and end our interview with, “If you know anyone who would be willing to interview for 365, have them call me.”

Final handshakes are exchanged and off to our lives we go.

That’s it? Where is this ninety-minute experience of powerful friendship and the true acts of selflessness?

Scene Two: The plot thickens with “The Ballad of Mr. Cleve.”

I’m at home, playing with my daughter as she downs her last sips of Slurpee nirvana. The phone rings, “Hi friend, is it too late to be photographed?”

The voice is energetic, unknown to me, and catches me totally off-guard.

“I’m sorry, tell me your name?” I inquire.

“Are you still taking pictures for 365? You just interviewed my friend Manu.”

In the blink of an eye, it all makes sense. When I left Manu, I said, “Pass it on, and if you know anyone that has a story to tell, give them my number?” 

At first, my mind tells me to schedule a different day to photograph this new friend, but my instinct overrules, “Meet him now. He’ll finish today’s story.”

We agree on a meeting place and fifteen minutes later I am speaking with yet another friend, Cleve; a great dude with a giant story. I am thankful I listened to my inner voice.

At first, we are a little rushed in our conversation, prompting me to quickly throw my first question.

“What words of council do you have for the world?”

“Great question,” Cleve replies, “You caught me at the right time to ask it. It has to do with something I’m working on at the moment.”

Manu is with us and in a shared nod, Cleve continues, “Give a man a fish; you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish; he will feed himself for a lifetime. I think it’s scripture or something.”

I talked earlier of the powerful friendship and the true acts of selflessness. Here we go!

It would be unethical for me to reveal a few confidences that I promise to Manu and Cleve, and I ask you not to try to figure out any mysteries as to their histories, but this I can tell you. Manu and Cleve have paid their dues and have overcome things that ruin many a man. Yet in their trials they have found a greater wisdom. Wisdom gleaned from years of experience—experiences that have refined them into true advocates for the betterment of people outside of their sphere.

I could tell you what they do for a living, but again, it is not relevant. Rather, I would like to focus on what they are doing for each other and the world around them.

Cleve talks of his place in society: “My goal now is to help as many people help themselves as possible.”

Cleve puts his talk where his money, health, and actions are.

Out of Manu’s mouth, “Cleve has helped me so much. We used to be in business together. But even though we did not continue to work together, we remain friends. I credit him with helping me to overcome my obstacles.”

From what I understand, both Cleve and Manu share a somewhat rough history, a history that is most obviously behind them now.

Cleve talks of the process of rehabilitation and responsibility, linking it to his earlier fishing clause.

“My life is dedicated to giving people a second chance at a responsible life. From ex-convicts to recovering addicts to whatever, it does not matter; I want to help them.”

“How?” You may ask.

For one thing, Cleve has set up programs within his business to accept those who are willing to do the work in being responsible. He understands the system and the characters of those using it for their betterment vs. those who are simply using it.

“I’m here to help those who want to help themselves,” Cleve expresses.

And you know what? I completely believe him.

I ask both Cleve and Manu about their ambitions for the future.

Cleve:

First, “We all survive 2012.” We all smile at this one.

But more importantly, “I want to be able to spend time with my godson.” He is speaking of Manu’s boy.

One other note about Cleve’s character. He tells me, “I had a friend who was in need of a liver transplant. I was screened to donate him part of my liver, but by the time I was approved, he no longer could accept from a live donor. My friend is doing well now, so I plan to go through with donating it to someone else.”

It is evident as to the friendship and desire to do good that radiates from both Manu and Cleve.

In the words of Manu as he expresses his personal wishes for the days ahead, “I just want to do my best to lead by example.”

Gentlemen, thanks for your example.

Day 189: The Future of Genius

by

“I’d like to see a future where education is more accessible and affordable, and a people who have a greater appreciation for each other, art and nostalgia.”

“We have to learn to shake off society. There are always going to be battles, the world is just that way. But it will always give some as you lose some. Education is the core of what future we are all left with. ”

“People have a lot of shame for following what they want, and most of our baggage is carried from our childhoods.

“I’d like to see a world where people actually learn things rather than be crammed into classrooms and having standards forced on them.”

Sound cliché or radical? Or inspired? Or forward thinking?

I’ll leave that answer up to you in considering the above words of today’s stranger, young artisan of great wisdom, Heather.

And to give us more grounds for contemplation, I give you a few links to the works of Sir Ken Robinson, a very contemporary authority on today’s flawed educational systems. In my opinion, he and Heather are on the right path. You must view this very entertaining and enlightening presentation by Ken Robinson, Changing Education Paradigms.  (Editor’s note: Sadly, Sir Ken Robinson passed away on August 21, 2020. Learn more about his work here and here).

Heather and I run into each other at a cool little burb in Venice, California.

Excuse me, run into her is an understatement… I am drawn to her.

Here I am on the street of Abbott Kenney. A gathering place for both local and nomadic travelers from around the globe. To the right of me, I hear the chatter of German tourists, behind me is a group of resident Rasta bikers; and ahead are persons of unimaginable diversity. Yet, as I pass by a quaint little corner coffeehouse, I spy Heather, paper and supplies in hand, as she approaches its doors.

At first glance, I am captivated by her apparent ease of self. And being further intrigued to meet another artist I introduce myself.

Immediately Heather’s charm and free spirit capture me, and after a short twenty minutes of curbside conversation, I am proud to call her Friend.

Heather is a people magnet, drawing hellos and brief conversations from many who pass by us as we sit on the sidewalk chatting away.

“You have a lot of friends,” I comment.

With an infectious smile, she brings me up to speed, “That’s the way it is here, we are a community, and when you live here you get to know a lot of people.”

“I’d like to see a world where people actually learn things rather than be crammed into classrooms and having standards forced on them.”

Even though Heather is infectiously optimistic, she does take a bit of time to express a few of her observations towards the pros and cons of capitalism. Focusing on the problems of flawed healthcare and the quality of our food system, she states, “Even the USDA is not organic, and our healthcare system suppresses things and does not treat illness. It’s the time/money thing. Too much is driven by greed and not a concern for the public.”

Heather goes on to brighter topics, things like the importance of personal integrity, education, and the need for, in Heather’s words, “More communication, less television screens.”

“I’d like to see a future where education is more accessible and affordable, and a people who have a greater appreciation for each other, art and nostalgia.”

Being an artist, and businessman myself, and with the support of Sir Robinson’s instruct, might I suggest that art is not just the works of imagination, but also the works of intellect.

Sir Robinson likens it to thought processes that can be applied to any discipline, regardless of the trade or position. With the aid of his findings may I propose this: Whether CEO or street artist, those who are in touch with their imaginative selves are more likely to be receptive to fresh ideas, more likely to collaborate well with others, and have the self-esteem to listen to their own inspirations in moving forward.

But sadly, as stated by Heather, “People have a lot of shame for following what they want.”

I call it the opinion filter. Defined: The laws of humility state that we should acknowledge the thoughts of others, and do all that we cannot to harm another. But we need to listen to our own mind in finalizing any objective and grow the tenacity to constantly practice the skill of dismissing any destructive input. That through applied education (not controlled, like learning for the test scores), trial, error, and successes; true and complete fulfillment of our inspired-self can occur. It’s not an easy thing to do and requires great practice and discipline. And if achieved while supporting others in the same quest, we give ourselves license to own our perspectives to the fullest. In doing so we can inspire ourselves to achieve that which brings balance and happiness to our lives, and hopefully the community. From there we may obtain greater peace of character in wholly owning who we are, good and bad.

And with the aid of Heather and Sir Robinson, we are given advice and studied methods of doing so.

Heather is very hopeful when speaking of what is ahead for us, “There will be an awakening of our higher conscientiousness.”

Sure it’s cliché, but how many times have we heard our 365 friends tell us to follow our dreams.

Cliché or not, what is important is that we allow ourselves to progress as we are inspired to do so.

Sir Robinson speaks of a 98% genius score in a study of 1500 kindergarten students, and of the staggering decrease of that percentage over a ten-year period.

Startling evidence as to the actual manifestation of the dream, and a propelling argument to rethink our perspectives on learning, personal ability, and in managing the bombardment of external influences that strike us all each and every day.

Day 128: Random Act of Kindness

by

Be courageous. Look at your life, but do not reflect on it. Lean on your experiences, education, spirituality, and conscience to make your decisions, and once made, constantly listen to your self-voice and be strong and humble enough to follow your own inspiration.”

“Be present and mindful. Not an easy thing to do, to not think about the past, or the future, but to live life in the moment. And kindness can come from there. To do it you have to follow your heart and be aware enough to know we are all swayed by the media, politics, and society. Enforce your self-authority over all these outside influences in doing what is right for self and others. It’s all about ethics and morals.”

Not my words, but the words of fellow blogger Dez, the owner of allspunout365* a very cool 365-day blog with one mission, to highlight random acts of kindness, one a day for one year. Now on day 321, Dez is an example to me of commitment.

I met her in a random way, from a kind comment she places on my blog, and after reading it I am strongly prompted to reach out, enquiring if she would be open to becoming one of my 365 friends.

Until we met today, at a little cafe in Sherman Oaks, I knew nothing about Dez, other than her blog. At first meeting I am immediately smitten by her spirit. Dez is angelic and emits the most amazing positive attitude. Her energy is infectious and after having the opportunity to spend almost two hours chatting with her, I am edified in my knowledge of this fact, “There are so many good, kind and caring people in the world,” and Dez is one of the best.

Dez, purely stated, is one of those people that radiate kindness, and because of this, it makes absolute sense as to her motivation for starting her blog. Love for others is obviously in her DNA, it literally emits from her in every word she shares and the way she listens with me this day.

“I moved to Los Angeles to follow an acting career.”

As we talk, I find out that Dez is highly talented and no quitter. She is exquisitely beautiful, articulate, and educated— the kind of person that makes it in Hollywood. So why the change of heart? 

“After a while, I realized that my heart was not into it. I wanted to look beyond myself in helping others.”

At that moment of self-realization, she decided to return to academics and has followed a greater path toward helping others. Now, four months from completing her Masters in Clinical Psychology, Dez is on her true course to contribute to the world in helping others.

We talk for the bulk of our conversation about society and self-worth.

“When I started school, I wanted to work with children and trauma. But as I spend time in my internship, working in a community mental health center, I’ve been exposed to many different cases and am learning a lot. I think I’ll stay here for now and hope to work with more families.”

“I moved to Los Angeles to follow an acting career. After a while, I realized that my heart was not into it. I wanted to look beyond myself in helping others.”

Dez is a fighter. “I work at least sixty hours a week—class, my unpaid internship, and my money-making job (administrative assistant).” That does not include the time she puts into her blog and study time.

“Why did you commit to a 365-day project with all you have to do?” I must know, after all, I am a 365-day blogger and it’s rare to commune with another.

“First, I was a little bored and was looking for a challenge”

I think to myself,  A little bored? Sixty-plus hours a week and a little bored?  Dez is a powerhouse of ability and I’m uplifted by her commitment.

She goes on, “But the more I got into it, the better it felt. It is great to be a part of something positive and I’ve grown from the experience.”

“Would you encourage others to do a 365 blog?” I question.

“Absolutely! All they need to do is find anything they are interested in, to listen to their heart, and go for it. They will learn a lot about themselves and I’m sure grow from doing it.”

That leads me to a more personal question, “You’re almost done with your year, would you do it again!”

Her reply (as I though): “It’s been difficult and challenging and I’ve grown as a person. Creating it has changed my life, and it’s been motivating. I’m already thinking about the next project and am letting it evolve in my mind.”

Dez’s answer strikes hard with me. I’m on day 128 and I too am hooked! We’ll see what happens at the end of mine.

In meeting Dez, seeing other 365 blogs (there are a few out there), I too encourage you to explore the thought of starting one. I promise, even though a daunting commitment, you will be enlightened.

Man! There is so much to say about Dez, and it is impossible to articulate it in a short blog.

Our conversation is deep and her quotes at the beginning of this entry do articulate the basics of her council. I guess the biggest takeaway I can offer, “Be courageous. Look at your life, but do not reflect on it. Lean on your experiences, education, spirituality, and conscience to make you decisions, and once made, constantly listen to your self-voice and be strong and humble enough to follow your own inspiration.”

In speaking of the future, and the world, Dez starts with this (after a big pause of thought), “I can’t comment on the world, that is too big. For me, it’s not really possible to see what it will be.”

For me, it’s not really possible to see what it will be— I know she means it in a very optimistic way. And after hearing so many doom and gloom predictions, Dez’s reply is a breath of fresh air.

Picking it back up, Dez continues, “But I can comment on society and myself. For me… peacefulness in self, for society. Really think about acceptance of self and others, and learn to work hand-in-hand with each other. We all know what it’s like to be human, ‘the human experience,’ and we all know what pain and happiness is.”

Our interview is growing to a close and I’ve forgotten to tell you one thing—my daughter has been patiently sitting with us. Why do I constantly drag her with me on these 365 quests?

A two-part answer: 1) She asks to come, and 2) I’m watching her learn compassion and am proud of her for her sensitivity.”

Dez and my girl hit it off wonderfully, furthering my gratitude for Dez’s outlook on life.

So what about Dez’s act of kindness today, other than the sweetness she has shared with my daughter?

It’s called a “Yarnbomb.” Every once and awhile, Dez painstakingly knits a gift. Her gift? A handcrafted cotton flower carrying a message. A message that she randomly places on a tree, or a street post, or even in a yard. A special little offering of affirmation and hope to whoever the unknown recipient is. Bottom line, a selfless act of random kindness.

Lucky for us, today is a Yarnbomb day, and we are placing the grand marshal of all Yarnbombs, a pass it on challenge.

It works like this: we are placing it on a light pole, it reads this.

This bit of knitting, or “yarnbomb,” was made with love and care with the intention of strengthening community and kindness.

This little yarnbomb has begun its journey in Los Angeles, CA. and hopes to make it all the way to New York, NY.

Please carefully and kindly place this yarnbomb on the next tree or pole, in the next city or state from where you find it, going in the direction of New York.

As a random act of kindness.

Then pull out your smartphone, take a picture of it, and email it to the address below (making sure to indicate who you are, in what city and on what object you kindly left this yarnbomb, and any other info you wish to share).

Then, visit the blog below to update yourself on this yarnbomb’s travels, which (with your help) will be updated daily.

Respect the process.

In closing, we talk of life’s path, and conclude on one unanimous finding, “We will always be evolving and there is much to learn.”

“If I could do it all again, I would study neuroscience. There is so much going on in that field, and it would be exciting to be part of it. What is fascinating is how the study of the brain is linking to the treatment of trauma.”

Dez, I know you will do all that you dream to do.

*The All Spun Out blog is no longer posting and has been removed from the internet.

Day 46: Ten Minutes of Photography. Two-hours of Humanity

by

 “Everything is so fast-paced now, you must have patience with yourself and those around you.”

You’re in the passenger seat with me. We’re cruising through suburbia and into the corner shopping center. Radio is on and we’re chilling to the tunes. Suddenly the music becomes silent. How can this be, we still hear volume, yet nothing is going into our minds? What’s up with this? Two seconds ago it was a musical feast!

As if on autopilot, we find ourselves being tugged by intuition towards two figures talking in front of the corner laundromat. The closer we get the smaller our musical background becomes.

We pull into a parking spot, just feet in front of them, and disengage the motor. As the silence grows, two incredibly interesting-looking people take hold of our focus. With no pause, our sub-conscience tugs us out of the car and drives us toward them. Well rehearsed now, we do the 365 pitch and get quickly rejected.

Yet even with the rejection, the conversation continues. We are smitten with the moment, and the depth of character of our new acquaintances will not let go of our interest. At this point, who cares if we take photos or not, these people are amazing!

To begin, let me introduce you to Antoinette, a very humble lady with 30 years of working in education, and the magnet that first catches my eye.

I sight her as she leans against the front window of the laundry establishment, grandchild at her side. At first, it is uncertain to me how well she knows the man she is conversing with, Lieutenant Colonel Kevin Boal. But as I settle into becoming part of the conversation, it rapidly becomes apparent that I have unintentionally wandered into a chance exchange between two individuals with dramatically different life experiences. What is captivating is the connection of humanity between them. I am taken in; there is no way I can change the path.

Antoinette, with great compassion, is mostly listening, later telling me of her empathy towards the Lieutenant Colonel, a Vietnam veteran and man of raw wisdom (you’ll need to visit back tomorrow when I’ll have much more time to fully introduce you to him).

Have you ever been with people who, just by being in their presence, make you feel good about yourself? If so, you already have an idea of what spending time with Antoinette is like.

We speak of faith and patience in our fellowman; something she has learned through her 30 years of working in elementary education as a teacher’s assistant. Antoinette exudes a motherly spirit and one can feel her real concern for the people around her. I see this in the way she treats our Veteran friend Kevin, even comforting him at moments when even I am overwhelmed by his stories.

I can tell this lady is special, a healer of sorts with great faith. An admitted Christian, she explains that is the source of her patience, inspiration, and compassion for the world around her. “I’m a believer in Christ. I’m not perfect, but doing my best to be a good person.” She is the kind of person that sets a life-tone worthy of mirroring. I’ll take heed to her example.

I ask her to share her council. Her simple reply: “Everything is so fast-paced now, you must have patience with yourself and those around you.”

This is a night of patience for me. A workshop of sorts in unconditional acceptance and listening, led by two masters of life, Antoinette and Kevin.

All in all, I spend over two hours communing with my laundromat friends. We talk of many things– much of the time being monopolized by Kevin. No regrets from either Antoinette or myself. He is fascinating and filled with hard-earned wisdom; so much so, that it is necessary to save telling you about him for tomorrow’s entry. Though this is a slight diversion from one stranger every night, it is the only way to give him fair representation and in keeping my blog entry to an acceptable word count.

It only took me 5 minutes to find my place this evening. It has been captivating, uplifting, and at times a little scary­­­– some back-alley stuff I’ll talk about tomorrow.

All in all, I experience one more tutorial in reaching out.

My findings: We all have stories, some dark, others not. But in the end: It’s all good!

My take away from a spur of the moment visit to a local cleaning establishment: Ten minutes of photography. Two-hours of humanity.

Day 292: What If We Pay More Attention?

by

“My agenda is me first… which is probably quite similar to the rest of the human race.”

I’ll not lie. From the beginning of 365 I promised you that I would do my best to describe my feelings in one way or the other. And I have to confess that I am feeling some extreme fatigue as I drive, stuck on traffic-jammed Highway 101 en route to a production meeting later this afternoon.

Even though 365 has grown my outlook towards the people around me, as well as the love I have for those I don’t know in appreciating our differences, I have to say that today with three-hundred days of writing, interviewing, photo-imaging, less the six days I have dedicated to challenges, I am feeling a lot of stress. Stress brought on from the cumulative two to seven-hours I’ve spent daily since the inception of 365 way back in September.

But even with this stress, it is impossible for me to not acknowledge the personal growth that I have gained, as well as the closeness I feel, in a bizarre, vicarious way, to you my readers. Feelings that I am overwhelmingly experiencing as I commute. And thanks to that fun little dictation app on my iPad, feelings I can record as I navigate the traffic I’m captured in.

I have not yet met my Stranger-turned-Friend for the day yet, and I have no idea what is in store for me. It’s 11:18am and my meeting is at 2:00pm, giving me two-hours to socialize with the world. We’ll see what happens.

In the avoidance of another traffic citation, probably best to shut down this driving dictation right now. I’ll pick it back up in a few hours…

OK, I’ve arrived. Picking it up at the Pacific Design Center (PDC), site of my meeting–now only sixty-minutes away. I sit in the lobby, and as per 365 custom dictates, and despite my earlier mentioned fatigue, I smile and nod at all who pass by.

As expected, most gesture back with a questioning curiosity, “Who is this guy? What does he want with me?”

No harm, no foul taken. After all, I am an absolute stranger and to be skeptical of the darkly dressed dude sitting in the center of a very open space is quite an acceptable human reaction. So no judgment cast, we are all busy and have our own personal set of experiences. It is quite natural to be guarded to those we don’t know, one has to assume.

But one thing strikes me funny… I think of the isolated drive in the packed traffic that got me here and comparing it to the scarcity of those I find myself cohabitating with, in the air-conditioned bliss of the wide public areas of the PDC, I am forced to contemplate. And in this contemplation, I calculate one common denominator: The invisible wall that we all too often place between ourselves and the world around us, while in automobile or on foot it matters not. What is of resonance is the lesson learned in the observation, “At too many times we are a divided people.”

I do an experiment in going to the door to open it for others. Most are grateful for the gesture, and even then, there are a few people who scurry by frightened by my outreach. I can’t fully figure it out.

Makes me question, “What if we all just trust a little more. Not saying that we have to completely drop our walls—there is good reason for them many a time. Still though… I just ask that we be a little more aware of each other.

Here I am at the PDC, clock ticking down to meeting time, most people avoiding me when I meet Levi.

“Make what you love. It is the best thing you can do for yourself,” he councils.

“I think I can only speak for myself,” Levi says, “My agenda is me first… which is probably quite similar to the rest of the human race.”

Don’t judge, until you hear Levi’s reasoning.

Levi speaks of me first, but the more you get to know him, you quickly understand, Levi is not caught up in egotism and self-absorption.

“I just feel like if I curate my life, and the people that I love, in the manner that I desire, my world is going to be a lot better and more enjoyable. But it is really important that in all the things that I do, that they are also good for other people. You know, we can only make a little change by ourselves. But, at least for the immediate influence for those around us, it can make somewhat of a difference.

“It’s like, if people make smart cars. Only one person is going to own that car, so by buying it, they are really helping themselves by owning the car and are not hurting the rest of the people around them.

“I’m a super on-the-fence type of deal. I don’t think there are too many people that actually make an effort to teach things where a lot of other people learn, but it is a lead by example type deal for me. Where if people start paying attention they might learn something.”

Levi, thanks for the neighborly chat my friend, hope to run into you again!

And thanks for your example… “What if people start paying more attention?”

Day 256: Hey, I’m a Teenager… I Don’t Know Everything

by

“If life were perfect then everything would suck and there would be nothing to learn. We need to find humanity. There is very little of it in our society. Everyone is all about being the best at any cost. They focus on the me: Asking what makes me happy, and never looking at how they can help others.”

I get into a sidewalk discussion with a couple of unknown neighbors. Denise (not pictured) digs the 365 Project, “You should interview my sixteen-year-old son, he always has something to say.”

Five minutes later, I’m standing at the door meeting her son, the young and brilliantly outspoken Daniel.

I’ve often said, “The future is in good hands,” and Daniel is at the front of the pack in supporting that notion.

With a perfect 4.0 GPA, Daniel is not only intelligent, but he is also wise beyond his years.

Denise invites me into their home for a neighborly visit. I have to tell you, it’s been really cool getting to know, not only the people of my city, and wherever I travel, but also those that live so close to me. This alone forces me to challenge us all to do the same. You often hear me spout from my soapbox, “Say hello to the world.” And with the experience of this entry, I guess we have to ask ourselves, “Do we know our neighbors?”

I’ll admit that until 365, I was a little reclusive in my community. That will never be the same again. The quest to know my neighbors is ramping up, and I encourage you to join me. If you have any stories, please comment. 

Back to Daniel…

“Look to tomorrow,” he proposes in positioning a secondary thought that accelerates our conversation to a deeper level. That thought?… “Today’s problems are going to be gone.”

We talk about his point for a while and agree on a conclusion. What Daniel is saying is too many people are caught up in the wants of the now, or distracted by the influences, both negative and positive, that hit them, and us, every day. We’ve called it, “The Storms Of Life,” in past entries.

At sixteen Daniel seems to have found the secret that many of us much older folks are still trying to master. The way I see it, he is living towards the future, not obsessing about the now, and letting go of what he can’t control in acting on what he can.

“Today’s problems are going to be gone,” Daniel advises.

And in his council, he leaves us a palpable action point: Do what we can now, and ponder how our actions will affect the future.

Daniel talks of letting go and of his view of the world, “If everything was answered for us, or life was perfect, there would be no point in living.

“It’s hard being a teenager. There is peer pressure, insecurity, discovering emotions, feelings you don’t understand, bullying, and starting to notice girls—a big part of being a teenage guy.

“You start to get depressed because it’s too much to absorb. You think there is no way out… but eventually, you start to understand.”

With a smile on his face, Daniel put it into its plainest expression, “If life were perfect then everything would suck and there would be nothing to learn.

“We need to find humanity. There is very little of it in our society. Everyone is all about being the best at any cost. They focus on the me, the individual. Asking what makes me happy, and never looking at how they can help others.”

Balance is what Daniel is discussing, and I am strikingly impressed that in speaking with such a young man, the topic has even arisen.

Daniel is proof to us that the future truly is in good hands; hands that are forward-thinking, compassionate in seeking a better world, and best of all… realistic.

“It’s going to get worse,” Daniel forecasts.

Yet with his prediction, he directs us in what we can do to positively influence his apprehensions of a worsening path: “Live your life in a way that you feel is actually helpful.

 “Don’t worry about what others are doing… just do what is right.

“But hey, I’m just a teenager… I don’t know everything.

Day 123: To Walk With Them As the Same

by

“In high school, my career counselor told me that my tests showed that I had a propensity towards being a teacher, pastor, or someone sharing a message.”

Dinner is in one hour and I decide to take a short evening stroll. Just need a little time of introspection to flush out my head. It’s been a buried business day, and albeit a positive one, I welcome a brief escape. Well, I call it a stroll, but you and I both know, it’s really a thirty-pounds-of-photo-gear-on-shoulder-world -exploration. That’s just the way life is with my 365 commitment, and thank you for being with me on this amazing experience.

Today marks over four months for 365, and through it, we have witnessed the birth of a global community. I often say that I have no idea where 365 is taking us. But one thing is apparent; it is helping many of us to reach out to the world.

I’ve been sincerely reading your remarks and have checked out your blogs. Your comments have been inspired and we now have over 1300 registered followers. Not bad for a little rag-tag blog.

365 is truly becoming more than a personal travel log, it has grown to be about people beyond us. Many new friends have joined us, and, in meeting them, it’s been constantly humbling the way they are driving us forward.

A new vocabulary of life’s perspectives is emerging, transparent to us all. With this, another global statement must be noted, “The world is filled with great people.” And in talking of greatness, I am not focusing on media giants, wealth, or any other form of power. The greatness I am referring to is the willingness of so many to look beyond themselves in honoring each other. A willingness that I am grateful to be part of every day as I reach out to my neighbors of planet earth. May we all continue to unite in “humanalution” (there’s that word I invented again).

With all this said, it is appropriate that I run into Justin, a very cool cat who is caretaking at Cloud 9 Hookah Lounge. The place is only footsteps from my front door, yet, I’ve always been intimidated to walk in. Not because I don’t smoke, but embarrassingly, I have been afraid of a preconceived cultural divide. Thinking that whoever is in there… they will not understand who I am.

I am proven way off base when I meet Justin as he is setting-up a sidewalk sign. In approaching him, I feel of a peace he emits, and soon you will join me in understanding why.

“Be strong, not physically, but mentally,” Justin’s first advice for us.

He talks with optimism, all the while, directing it away from himself, “Provide yourself with more than you think you can do. Whatever it is, you can achieve it. And don’t stop dreaming, because dreams are the keys to the world.”

Dreams are the keys to the world.  Not passion, not desire, not plans, not even education… just dreams.

Justin and I talk about dreams for a while. In the end, we conclude, that dreams are greater than passion, and are an important connection in defining our purpose on this planet. Thus, purpose becomes the purest form of human motivation, for without it, how can we truly grow to find our fullest potential?

On his arm is this tattoo, a self-written mission for life. It reads, “To walk with them as the same, thy here to take their pain, help them when they can not change.”

How eloquently this self-created, and very poetic verse, relates to the literal DNA of Justin’s love for the world around him.

“In high school, my career counselor told me that my tests showed that I had a propensity towards being a teacher, pastor, or someone sharing a message.”

To walk with them as the same, thy here to take their pain, help them when they can not change. Purpose? I think so!

Here is the kind of stuff Justin does. He talks of pay-it-forward. But for him, it is more than a concept… it’s a call to action. “Not so long ago a friend and I go into a Starbucks. We give $100 to the guy at the counter and asked him to use it to cover all the next customers until it is gone. We asked him to do it with one condition, ask everyone who receives the paid for drink to pass on a good deed.”

A monumental gesture from an (I’m sure) underfunded twenty-two year old. His story blows me away. Like I said, “The world is filled with great people.”

To walk with them as the same, thy here to take their pain, help them when they can not change.  Please go on?

Justin is a humble guy, he credits his career ambitions to the words of his father, “My dad once told me that I have a gift; I did not understand what he was talking about at the time. But now I think I’m starting to.”

Justin is not boastful, self-promoting, or egotistical at all in opening up with me, “I’ve always been a good listener and somehow I calm people.”

Calm people. To walk with them as the same, thy here to take their pain, help them when they can not change.

Justin’s goal, “I’m about to start my training as a Hypnotherapist, I start school next month and will be practicing in six months. I want to use the gifts that have been given to me to help others. I hope I’ve found a way to do it.”

In speaking about the future.

“I want things to get better politically, the government is going crazy.”

And on a more personal note, “Health-wise, everyone in on drugs! I’m scared for the future.”

At first, I think he is using everyone in on drugs as symbolism for the way the world is running itself. “On drugs,” meaning, “out of control.” That is not what Justin is talking about; he is speaking of the factual use of drugs.

“Too many of my friends have fallen to hard drugs like XTC and Cocaine. I’ve seen it ruin their lives. I remember learning this in high school, stay away from drugs, being told that Marijuana is a gateway drug. And now I fully understand, seeing how it is affecting my friends. I even had to end my relationship with my girlfriend. She changed for the worst after getting into smoking Marijuana. She became an angry person, not the person I knew before her addiction.”

Drug addiction has become quite a through-line over the last week… strange how the web of 365 is forming.

All I can say is, I’m glad I’m hanging in the Hookah. Still don’t smoke, but maybe I’ll stop by once and a while for a soft drink and a chat.

Justin, I’m sure we will not be strangers.