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richard radstone
Day 63: Look Out World! Creative is Steaming Forward.
“You have to be so independent. Art schools are very critical. It’s not like sports where you get rewards for winning. In art there is no winning, it’s all personal and no trophies are given for best work.”
As a swore I would never do again, I find myself at an indoor shopping mall again. Not sure why, but as I travel with my daughter (I’m telling you, she is becoming my 365 partner), it is undeniable that I am supposed to be here. We enter, myself hoping for a short visit. In typical 365 style, I approach several people and am promptly and confidently DENIED!
What’s funny is, even before I approached them, I knew I would be rejected. Perhaps I am a little cocky or overcome by the shopping center noise. Either way, I’ve been chopped off at the knees. The night is young, 6pm, and yep, I’m a little freaked that it’s looking like another all-nighter. But I’m with my girl. Can’t let her see me twitchy.
We settle in and decide to browse. What else can I do?—it’s turning into daddy/daughter night. I push my 365 agenda to the side and securely strap all 50 pounds of camera gear on my back (oh yeah, forget to tell you, over the last few weeks my 365 kit has grown from 35lbs to a larger bag). Time to commit to healthy family time by focusing on my girl. Who cares if I have to find my 365 friend after 9pm tonight, I convincingly tell myself.
We have a great time…grab a Mexican dinner, look at furniture, hair stuff, debate about enrolling her in a Hip Hop dance class, and do all the general mall things. With 365 farthest from my mind, we stroll into a little art school that for many years we have ignored. Tonight it looks different though. The art is the same, but we both curiously look at each other, and before I can acknowledge my feelings my kid says, “We have to go in there. Here is your 365 person.” I’m telling you…out of the mouths of babes.
The windows are covered with artwork and partitions block my view of who is manning the shop. We inquisitively walk in and are greeted by the most charming and beautiful artist and teacher, Betsy.
She is spectacular in engaging with my little girl, getting right into art talk, and telling her about what they do at the studio. Betsy is well-trained and eloquently explains the workings of the studio, its training methods, and pricing—even gets us to sign up for a free lesson. I’m not one to impulse buy or commit to a demo, but Betsy’s offering is well-defined and to-the-point. We’re in.
But this is not the reason we are pushed into the shop. I tell Betsy about 365. She is intrigued and tells me of a few other one-year blogs that she knows of. Weird things are happening in 365-land. She is tight with the creator of a blog that, just last week, was recommended to me by Matthew, the guy with the Gestalt theory reference: An edgy site called Skulladay by Noah Scalin.
The world is getting very small for me. Betsy is in, telling me, “I’ll support anything that is about 365.”
How cool is that, she even goes on the tell me of Noah’s newest project: Makesomething365. This is awesome! There is a 365 community out there and I’m not even aware of it. 365-rs of the world, unite!
But what about Betsy? As I said, she is simply charming. Betsy is an artist to the core. I know this because I can relate to the stories she shares. There is a common thread that many right-brainers share. First, is an equally strong left-brain. Need to be equally yoked—it’s a very difficult business and we artists have to be smart, patient, and tenacious in life. Being a good person is also a plus; and in a flash, I know that Betsy possesses all these qualities.
We talk of creative vulnerability, linking it back to the stiff competitive culture fostered in the art departments of higher education. “You have to be so independent. Art schools are very critical. It’s not like sports where you get rewards for winning. In art there is no winning, it’s all personal and no trophies are given for best work.” Betsy frames this experience in a very positive way, using it to help herself and her students feel good about what they create.
How? you may ask. I love this! “We remove the competitive comparison of our students and award them for their uniqueness with trophies for best personal vision and things like that.” What a fun way to help emerging artists own a point-of-view. A very powerful thing, especially for children and youth who are so impressionable. Smart, kind, and fun in my book. And I bet the people coming out of this program have a healthy balance of self-worth and artistic ownership. Great stuff!
Betsy is listening to her own advice. “After years of working in East coast theatre, doing wigs and wardrobe, I realized that I was not growing. Not happy with what I was doing, I left and moved to Los Angeles. I’m happier now and rediscovering my passions.” Let’s just say, Betsy is now rewarding herself.
Picking up, relocating, and chasing a dream is a very brave thing to do, and at only four months into her journey, Betsy looks like she is on the right path.
Not quite ready to show her work to the world (and I understand why), I ask about her future. Her response, “Learning. Making more things. And not being intimidated to show my work.”
Betsy expresses these thoughts to me with peace and power. No longer worried about how people perceive her work, it is obvious that she is in the depths of rediscovery, and I am inspired.
Look out, World! Creative is steaming forward, and Betsy is driving the train.
ARTIST PLUG:
I did a little research on Betsy. She makes really cool jewelry. Check out her Etsy site and buy a few pieces.
Day 113: Sic Vis Pacem Para Pellum
“I’d like to see more people taking care of themselves and the planet.”
Thirteen has always been a lucky number for me. Perhaps being born on May 13th is a contributor to my choice of fortunate digits, or maybe because I got my first driver’s license on Friday the 13th (and am happy to say my DMV record is stellar), are both good reasons for my affinity towards this ominous numerical value.
But I learn something new tonight. 13 is a special number in the tattoo world. Don’t know why, it just is. So when, on day 113, I stumble upon a tattoo parlor in suite 113, I take notice.
How did I get here?
I am never without my 365 kit, it goes with me everywhere, and tonight is no exception as my family and I commute to the wedding reception of a best friend’s son. I’m behind the wheel and, with an hour gained via my eighty-mile-an-hour freeway cockiness, we find ourselves at the reception venue with an hour to spare. With thumbs twiddling, my lovely better-half (got to love her), encourages me, “We have an hour to spare, lets find your 365.”
Here we are again, car-constricted family outing, and looking for a 365 friend. Man! I’m going to owe my familia BIG TIME when this thing concludes on September 9, 2012.
I find myself a little lost, not sure where to go, as we cruise down Beach Boulevard. This is not (in the adapted lyrics of Frank Sinatra), my part of town.
Feeling a little road weary from a foggy-sky commute, it’s hard for me to scan the area. Honestly, I’m really quite out-of-my-element, when, as we pass an obscure tiny strip mall, my wife does a passenger seat sit up, “Stop there!”
She points, directing my 45-mile an hour glance to a tattoo parlor, which is somewhat hidden in the shadows. I don’t really see it, but I’m in. I’ve been married for 18 years and am happy to share a key for a happy married life. Get your note pad and pencil. Here it is…“When the misses speaks, listen, she is usually right.”
Tonight my Lovely is right on. I’m dubbing her, “The 365 divining rod.”
We park and find ourselves settled in front of Players Club Tattoo Parlor. Now, the tattoo experience is one that I have never partaken of, but at first sight, there is something magnetic about this 365 prospect. I kill the engine and turning to my family, “Guys I’ll be right back, want to check the place out before I grab my gear… probably best for you to wait here.” (I’m telling you, I’m going to owe these ladies).
The place is buzzing (no tattoo gun pun intended), and I hang in the reception for a second before I am met by one of the partners of the establishment. I quickly tell him about the project, and that I am on day 113. He patiently listens and responds, “Follow me.”
We head towards the front door… I guess I’m getting tossed out…
How wrong I am! We round the front door and he points to the number of his suite… 113.
He nods at me, “Let’s do it.”
Coincidence or fate? Who knows. But bottom line, we are both thinking that suite 113 on day 113 is telling us something.
My new friend, JJ, is right in the middle of creating arm art on one of his customers (a very detailed fish), but even in the middle of work, he still invites me to chat with them as they go on. It’s around 6pm and they have been at it since 4:30pm, so I just promise to settle in beside them in allowing them to continue as I conduct my interview.
The place is very chill, but the music, pole-dancing mannequin, and wall art are way over the head of my nine-year-old, so to the car I go to break the news of another car wait and to grab my camera bag.
I’ve said it a bunch; I owe them. But on the other hand, they too are growing with me in 365. I guess we are the new Three Musketeers of outreach, “All for All, and All for All.” I’ll get back to you with the theme music later. (Yeh, Radstone, we believe you.)
With family patiently waiting, once again in auto bliss, I get my first lesson about the tattoo community; “Tattoos are more than art, they are statements to the character of the wearer.” I do not publish the name of JJ’s customer, yet the few comments he shares with me regarding his tattoo are impactful.
“Why a fish?” I ask him.
“It has a lot of meaning in the Asian culture and I have chosen it because its virtues are important to me,” he responds.
Those virtues: Good fortune, strength in adversity, ambition, aspiration, and determination.
I don’t know this man, but by the tone of his delivery of his explanation, I know his reason behind his choice of tattoo art is for a good purpose. New customer friend, I appreciate the education.
So here I am, observing a tattoo in progress. No time better than now to ask question one.
“What words of wisdom do you have for my readers?” We bounce a few ideas and settle on one very strong statement.
With a confident smile, JJ gives us this, in Latin: “Sic Vis Pacem Para Pellum.”
If you know Latin, great! If not, keep reading, I’ll give you its translation later.
I’m careful to not distract JJ too much from the tattoo he is applying as he talks. His customer is very cool, and even though I can see him striving to stay focused on staying still (and, I’m guessing, keeping his mind off the needle), the last thing I want to do is be the one responsible for a mistake—because, after all, there is no erasing in tattooing, and I assume a serious butt-kicking to the distractor who causes one.
Question one down, on to number two:
“Where would you like to see the world, yourself, or any combination of the two in the next five, ten, twenty, or beyond years?”
Remember, JJ is concentrating deeply on the tattoo he is applying. “I just want to make it past 2012.”
That’s right. There are a bunch of predictions floating out there. Here is a link I found that lists what many are prophesying.
JJ shares one more, “I’d like to see more people taking care of themselves and the planet.”
We all agree big time on that one.
I’m thinking we’re done with the interview and ask my last beat, “Is there anything else you’d like to add?”
“I’m good, but you may want to ask some of the other guys.”
Catches me completely off guard. This studio rocks! Tattoo world, I’m loving your community. And even though not all want to be photographed, all contribute.
From Capone (he has chosen not to be photographed):
“The more I learn, the more I realize I don’t know.”
There is no photo for you, but this is my take away of the guy, “He is a mountain of humility, life experience, and brainpower.”
Standing next to him is Niz. He looks at Capone, “Come correct or don’t come at all!” he says.
Not being sure what his statement refers to, I ask him to elaborate.
He is talking about professionalism,
“It ain’t about looking pretty, it’s about sitting pretty. People don’t realize what we do. We are not like what is shown on TV. We are professional, working every day, and we know a lot of things.”
Being an artist myself, I can relate to what Niz is saying. It is simply this, “Yah, we are artistic, but we are also businessmen, fathers, and husbands doing our best to make a living. In his poetic sentence, “It ain’t about looking pretty, it’s about sitting pretty,” Niz is referring to responsibility and respect of the community. I like this dude.
Last on deck is Dominic, JJ’s business partner.
He comes out of the blocks with, “Do what you love?”
“We’ve talked about that a lot in 365,” I mention to him. And though this statement has been a constant through-line in 365, it’s never old to hear. Yet, I challenge him to think a little more about the statement.
Dominic hits a home run in expanding on the premise.
“Don’t settle, never get too content, and always shoot for the stars,” he calmly expresses.
Let me expand. In this simple improvised phrase, Dominic has shaken all of us. What he is saying is this. The evolution of a person is never-ending. He has given us permission to reach high, to not only push ourselves but also to never stop looking, even when we are content. I’ve seen it time and time again, friends, neighbors, and family saying, “I’m bored, I don’t know what to do now. Or suffering from the chronic, “I’m tired bug.” Wealthy or not, I’ve seen it, and Dominic, with his in-the-moment premise, has given us a soulful means to act upon.
“Don’t settle, never get too content, and always shoot for the stars.” Killer stuff!
Dominic’s wish for the future? In the perfect form of the spirit of Players Club, “I hope everybody is successful in meeting the goals they want to meet.”
I’ve been schooled again… for almost ninety-minutes I have communed with men of wisdom. At one point I laughingly shared, “This is not a tattoo parlor, it’s a ministry, proclaiming the Gospel of Community.”
All smiled, paused for a flash, and resumed their work.
But kidding aside, A Hispanic friend of mine told me once of a cultural philosophy, “The truth is in between the humor.”
Men and customers of Players Club, “Thank for allowing me in, lack of tats and all.”
Oh! The translation to JJ’s Latin:
“If you want peace, prepare for war”
Poignant.
For information go to www.playersclubtattoo.com
Day 106: Life is Like a Buffet
“Working at Walmart, and with the holidays, I see this every year. People fighting over plastic junk, junk that is only to be returned the next morning.”
“Life is like a buffet, there is something for everyone.”
Good words to hear as I heal from last night’s pre-holiday warm-up meal.
Today I’m adding to my bloated stomach as we find ourselves on a luncheon exploration at not the most typical of Christmas celebratory places—Goldfield Ghost Town, home to Rusty, the man who departs the above quote.
At first meeting, he is extroverted, funny, and subtle in his presence. He, my wife, and I palaver for a spell (I’m in Arizona, palaver for a spell, just feels right to say).
This buffet idea? What the heck! I love food! Is Rusty telling me to “love life?” I guess so.
Originally from Missouri, Rusty moved to Arizona for the love of his wife, who suffers from several medical conditions that required her to live in a warm climate.
Rusty is a man who apparently puts others before himself; he speaks of people with compassion and understanding.
“In Missouri, I started as a minister, then I got into comedy. My comedy was clean and for families, but my heart is still in the ministry.”
Like I said, Rusty is funny and a people person. He breaks away from our interview, “Excuse me for a second, I have to announce the mine tour.”
It’s a tad more than a standard amusement park announcement; it is a well-constructed and humorous call to action. Makes sense coming from a man who has opened in Branson, at venues like Dick Clark’s American Bandstand Theater, and warmed up crowds for performers such as Yakov Smirnoff.
“I’m working two jobs to make ends meet, here and at Walmart. I see a lot of people and have this to tell them, slow down, everyone is in too much of a hurry. It’s a shame, we miss out on striving for things we may never get in life.”
“We have all need to realize we are here for a reason and learn not to judge. We have the power to set a positive example. And if we become negative, we can do no good.
He continues, “If there was a little more respect, we would not have as much trouble. I see too much of it’s about me, and not enough of it’s about us.”
“Working at Walmart, and with the holidays, I see this every year. People fighting over plastic junk, junk that is only to be returned the next morning.”
Rusty councils, “Take what you need, no more, no less, there is enough to go around. Greed is the downfall of man.”
He does not deliver this council in contention, a judgmental attitude, or with any message of class distinction. What he shares he delivers with a sentiment of respect and in an encouraging tone. Even relates it to his earlier “buffet” parable.
“Life is like a buffet, there is something for everyone.”
He adds this to the equation to humble it a bit, “Good thing there is a sneeze guard.”
That sneeze guard? He calls it a mindset, a protective device in not buying into other people’s negativity.
“We have all need to realize we are here for a reason and learn not to judge. We have the power to set a positive example. And if we become negative, we can do no good.
“God created the Earth with enough beauty around for everything. We just need to appreciate it, and each other.”
My take? It’s been interesting to see the year-end shift in the perspectives of those I am interviewing. Sure, 365 carries a positive message through the life perspectives shared by its participants, and through the words of others showing us, we are all in this thing together. But what is really interesting to me is seeing how so many are turning towards a higher power as we get closer to the New Year; for many it’s a time of self-reflection. That in itself is telling me something. What do you think?
I’ve got to go now… Walmart presents to wrap. (Just kidding!)
Day 172: There is Greatness In All of Us
“I’m studying to be a dentist, and as soon as I finish my education, I intend to return to Cambodia, where I plan to help the poor and the sick, and more importantly, do all I can to stop sex trafficking.”
After last night’s quarter tank of fuel waste, I decide to walk my own backyard neighborhood and to again give my friends at Cloud 9 Hookah Lounge a visit.
In the door I go and it’s instantly like a reunion, as I talk to Justin, “To Walk With Them As The Same.” We catch up a bit and he lets me know of his enrollment in Hypnotherapy school and that he will be licensed in six months. It’s way cool to see someone following a purpose they feel deep inside. I know he will help many.
“How’s 365 going?” he asks.
I bring him up to speed, “Beyond my wildest dreams. The thing is really taking off and it is changing my life for the better. I’ve accepted that its purpose is greater than myself and I’m just following it wherever it takes me.”
In our conversation, he introduces me to Karnnitha, a very chill lady who is hanging out with one of the owners of Cloud 9. I sit with them to exchange stories and soon Karnnitha agrees to share words with us.
I ask my questions, and her answers are well thought out and precise.
“Don’t let the little things push you away from what you want to do. Stay positive and things will work out,” she contributes.
“I’d like to one day see that the planet is OK, the economy in America better, and a world at peace,” Karnnitha expands as we settle into lengthening our conversation.
“What are your plans for your future?” I ask.
Her response impresses me to the core. You see, Karnnitha is a selfless giver, a rare and admirable quality for someone just barely twenty.
“I’m studying to be a dentist, and as soon as I finish my education, I intend to return to Cambodia, where I plan to help the poor and the sick, and more importantly, do all I can to stop sex trafficking.”
Sex trafficking, an epidemic blotch on the face of society, and a hideous atrocity of the greatest magnitude towards humanity. I’ve run into so many people who are engaged or intent on entering the fight against the de-humanization and literal evil of the human trafficking industry. That’s right. Industry! Billions of dollars in scale! How sick is that!
Our conversation takes me back to all that I learned from Lucy O’Brian, “The Power Of One,” eighty-one days ago, and reaffirms my commitment to at least do all I can to raise the awareness of the dreadful impact the sex trade has on the lives of so many women, and horrible to say, innocent children.
Karnnitha’s life purpose is a tribute to her maturity, the depth of her compassion, and her commitment to helping in the fight to abolish the perversions of the sex for sale industry.
And if we think we are safe in America, Karnnitha enlightens us, “It’s not just a problem in Cambodia, it’s a huge problem worldwide, and very profitable in the United States.”
Very profitable in the United States bounces like a confirming echo to the facts that Lucy shared with us. Findings that she knows first hand from her ten years in the fields of fighting the human trafficking war. And Karnnitha is at Lucy’s tail feathers in getting up to speed in her efforts to further the work of all those so anxiously engaged in the fight.
It’s a wonderful thing to meet a young woman with such advanced values, and I compliment Karnnitha on her maturity, her life perspective, and her courage in stepping-up to do her part in working for human rights and the basic dignity that all should be able to enjoy.
“It’s not all me,” Karnnitha credits, “My parents taught me to never judge, to accept people for who they are, to be caring, loving, and to be giving. That is a big part of why I am who I am.”
On her arms is a series of tattoos, all with meanings honoring her family and friends. She tells me of her siblings and the love and time she has dedicated to helping her brother who is inflicted with multiple illnesses. “I’ve had to grow up fast and I like my life right now,” Karnnitha pronounces.
My schooling carries on and sometimes feels like I’m getting a Master’s Degree in understanding. An understanding that no matter where we are in life, or whom we appear to be on the outside, the potential for greatness is inside us all.
We really can’t judge a book by its cover. For tonight, in a cool little Hookah Lounge, in the heart of a young woman who is seemingly chill, lies the compassion of a great lion of human rights activism.
Karnnitha, bless you in all you do! You inspire us all.
Day 99: Treat the Planet Right
“I’m tired of the little gestures. If we are going to change, we have to do more, get involved, and educate ourselves. It is amazing how little knowledge our current people know about the environmental impact of industry and population.”
Out on a Saturday road trip with my daughter. Destination: Santa Barbara—land of healthy living, and volleyball.
It’s a lovely drive and we drop off highway 101 just as sunset hits. My daughter has a plan… a sand crab hunt. Chasing the sun, we race down Cabrillo Boulevard and settle at the free parking by the volleyball courts.
She grabs her beach stuff and looks at me, “Dad… your camera bag.” Wow, at nine she has learned at an early age to push me with the fortitude of a seasoned producer.
She is right, 365 never takes a break, and even though we are on family time, she makes me acutely aware, “It’s day ninety-nine; you’re almost at one hundred days, Dad. Keep going!”
I accept and strap on my forty pounds of backpack for a soft-sand workout. By the way, my shoulders, back, and neck are starting to get buff. Who knows? Maybe I’m unintentionally developing the upper body exercise fad of the future: “Sand Backpacking?”
On the horizon are several groups of volleyball games in various stages of play. We see one group that is wrapping-up as the cold evening air begins to take its bite (as much as it can in sunny California).
We approach the group, and although they seem interested at first, when the question arises, “Can I photograph you?” they decline.
The beach is mostly empty, but there is one figure further down the coast, a man fishing—boat at side. Maybe he will be interested. If not, no worries. After all, it’s family time. So if he is out, I’ll find someone later.
The sun is touching the mountains now, and as we get closer to our unknown fisherman, he begins to push his boat into the water as he packs up for the day. Oh well, like I said, “I’ll find someone later.”
Here’s one more thing I’m accepting about 365. It really is directing me, and the more I submit to it, the more that is drawn to me. And today proves this point.
The moment I acknowledge, not defeat, but acceptance in finding no new friend, a voice strikes me from behind, “Hey, we just finished our game. I have a few minutes before we leave Do you still want to interview me. The others don’t want to, but the project sounds very interesting and I’d like to contribute.”
“I’d love to see a day when we are doing more good for the planet than harm.”
Stepping up is the wonderfully energetic and fit Bronwyn. I really like this lady. There is a magic radiating from her and at first question, I know why.
It’s cold! And I want to be courteous to shivering Bronwyn, so without hesitation, I go right into the interview.
“What words of wisdom do you have for my readers?”
Even though it is tooth chattering cold, Bronwyn delivers a huge smile, “That’s easy… spend time outside!”
Bronwyn is magical. And here is my perception to key of her magic— she possesses a love for nature and the world around her. With this, it makes sense as to why she is so radiant; Bronwyn is in her element… the outdoors.
Healthy is an understatement in describing Bronwyn. Some of you have run on the beach. For those who have not, know that 100 yards can be a breath-taker. In talking to Bronwyn, she is not the least breathless, even after sprinting 200 yards to catch up with us.
It gets better. She tells me about her career, “Tomorrow I start a new job, so I’m getting in all the outdoor time I can find before I go to the office.” What of this career? How do you cage a graceful bird to a cubical existence?
The answer can be summed up in two words: passion and commitment. Bronwyn’s profession? Environmental Economist. The title is over my head, so we talk about it.
Many of our 365 friends have spoken of a better future for our children. A wonderful sentiment. One that challenges my every action, pushing me to reflect on the impact and consequences of the decisions I make.
“I’m tired of the little gestures.” Bronwyn states. “If we are going to change, we have to do more, get involved, and educate ourselves. It is amazing how little knowledge our current people know about the environmental impact of industry and population.”
Bronwyn is not bagging on us—she even says, “I’ve been studying this stuff for years and I haven’t even touched the surface of it.”
What she is saying is this. In my words, “Sure, it is a good thing to recycle our plastics. The positive impact of that alone is great. Yes, I realize we are all busy and can’t find time to know it all. Bronwyn even accepts this in stating, ‘I have been studying the environment for years, and there is no way I can know it all.’”
Here is what I propose, “We need to push a little harder in doing our part.”
Perhaps it’s in the form of an educated vote. Maybe it is a letter to a politician or corporate executive in lobbying for better reforms or initiatives. Or simply, an hour or two a week in Google or other search engines, educating ourselves on things we can do in everyday life to help the environment. Whatever it is, I suggest we lean it towards Bronwyn’s wishes for the future.
Those wishes, “I’d love to see a day when we are doing more good for the planet than harm.”
Bronwyn, I hear you about the little gestures. I’ll work to do better in understanding what I can do, and again ask you, my readers, to join me in this cause.
Bronwyn, today you have reached out to me in sharing what, to you, may seem a little gesture in joining 365. My hope is your message touches enough of us to become one large gesture for us all to chomp on. TREAT THE PLANET RIGHT.
Day 56: By Chance…or Not
“I’ll have no house. I’ll have no stability, and will be traveling—meeting crazy people. Routine and all that crap annoy me.”
Please believe me as I tell you that I am not going yogi on you with the metaphysical. But I have to tell you this 365 thing is very strange at times, still leading me to the right people, with the right message, at the right times.
It’s 7:30pm. I’m with my family and starting to sweat a little, thinking, “Here comes a late-nighter trying to find a 365 friend!” We’ve been to Home Depot, Target, and Ralph’s grocery store, followed by a bit of drive-by wandering of a few other local retail businesses…and even after trying to force a few conversations at each of the listed venues, no one is ringing out.
Submitting to the evening, I ready these words for my wife, “Can you and Colette get to sleep without me tonight, I’m going to have to go on a 365 drive.” They are behind me but worry that I’m going to get myself killed by walking into a stupid situation on my own—especially when I hit the night streets on my own.
So here I am, cruising the parking lot, beginning to accept my fate of a long night and thinking of ways to avoid two things that seem destined to come: zero sleep and the watch your back council.
No joking, within seconds of my submission, crossing the front of my car pass two people: Visual Effects and Motion Graphics students, Matthew and Monica. The voice rings out! That is them! Game on!
Quickly, I set my route to park, driving to the top of the parking lot and doing my best not to become a stalker in chasing them down in my car (that would be way creepy, wouldn’t it?). I pull into a parking spot at the end of a row, grab my camera bag, and set a foot course to where they are parked. I slow my pace and casually approach them as they complete loading their groceries into their car. They catch sight of me. I throw the 365 invite and it is instantly apparent that we are all where we are supposed to be at this particular moment—at least that’s my take. We’ll see if you agree as you read on.
My tribute to youth continues with these two creative kids. They call each other kids, so I am taking license to do the same. Yet the words they share are not that of children, but brave and dedicated Creatives with quite a bit of life experience, especially Matthew. At one point in tonight’s interview, Monica even diverts to him to further share his story. We’ll get to that in a second.
“Tell the truth. You can’t live with secrets—they always catch up with you.”
Monica is absolutely delightful. I can tell she is a catalyst for laughter between these two. They seem soul matched, leading me to ask if they are “significant others”? With warm hugs to each other, they respond, “No, just friends.”
There are only two words necessary to fully describe Monica, “Free Spirit.” She cracks me up with her forecast of where she will be in ten years, “I’ll have no house. I’ll have no stability, and will be traveling—meeting crazy people. Routine and all that crap annoy me.”
Her words of advice, “Just do it! There is nothing stopping you at all.” I ask, “Sounds like you have a lot of life experience?” I can see in her eyes that she wants to share some of her life, and I can tell that she has a thing or two to say, but she shifts to a humbler tone and redirects the question to Matthew. There is a very warm connection between these kids that touches me, and I quickly find out why. Matthew steps right up, “I have no problem sharing my history.”
“I was diagnosed with HIV one year ago.” Monica quiets and keeps her eyes focused on Matthew; I can tell she admires him and is inspired by his trials and maturity. It is at this exact moment I know why we are here together: Matthew has council for us all. And his words need to be published.
He tells me of his growth in accepting this life-changing illness and of his experience with a very materialistic roommate, both issues he faced in tandem. His take away:
“Don’t regret anything. Everything has a lesson.”
“Hate doesn’t take you anywhere.”
“All you can do is look at the good, that will drive you forward in life.”
“Tell the truth. You can’t live with secrets—they always catch up with you.”
Matthew is ingratiating as I note his council. It is apparent that he knows what he is talking about and desires to help others who need to hear his words. And by the look in Monica’s eyes, I know why they are friends. He grounds her and she pushes him. These friends are meant to be (Monica, Matthew, please forgive me if I am being too presumptuous, just a feeling I’m getting as I write this blog entry).
We pick the group discussion back up and the subject turns to why we meet this evening…and after Matthew bearing his history, we all seem to know why. We deepen the topic by talking a little about religion as Matthew expresses his interest in studying it. A three-way dialogue begins and we all agree that there is much good in many religions. Our conclusion, it is about honoring our fellowman, acceptance of a higher power, and striving for self-mastery in doing the right thing. We expand and discuss the worth of a soul and its eternal progression. Heavy topics, but the air is light and the conversation united. Readers, I’m telling you, I don’t direct these meetings or force the topics—they just happen, and I’m convinced it’s not by chance.
Speaking of chance. I learn a thing or two about social magnetism. Matthew brings up the Gestalt theory. I’m vaguely familiar with its application in design but have never really pondered its sociological and psychological applications or its theories of social attraction—something that Matthew has studied a little. He poses the question, “Could it have had any influence on our meeting this evening?”
I have Googled and studied it a little as I am writing this blog. I’ve not delved to its depths, only taking a quick read of ten or so sources. It is a very fascinating theory, making me think about my influence in the hows and whys of my friendships, networks, surroundings, and even the outcome of 365.
Both Matthew and Monica leave me with these words: “We think this meeting is meant to be; the day has led up to it. It has been a great day and meeting up with you seems to be what we have been going towards.” All I know is when I first saw the two of them, the voice rang in my head. “It’s them you need to talk to.”
Matthew concludes with this (and from his comments, I can tell he is very spiritual), “I put on my xxx (Matthew, forgive me, I forgot what they are called) beads today,” he shows them to me, “Seems they led me here to share my message.”
Monica, keep smiling and dreaming.
Matthew, keep the faith.
And kids, thanks for the inspiration!
Day 78: It’s Never Too Late
“Save your money. Invest it on classic things and your education. Stay away from the trendy, it will only take it away from you and leave you with nothing to show.”
The tribute to the future continues with Monica. I meet her this evening while enjoying a night out with my family.
Monica is one of those rare people that radiates happiness. Something I pick up on at first glance. So much so, I am even a little intimidated to interrupt her stride as she energetically walks past a shop window just a few yards from where my wife, daughter, and I are enjoying an after-dinner outing.
But even though I’m hesitant to approach her, my daughter urges me to say hello. This project really is becoming a family endeavor. It’s strange I should feel these jitters. I mean, I’ve found myself in much more sketchy situations, all without even cracking a sweat. Why tonight?
It’s 12am, my meeting with Monica hours behind me, and I am still examining the question of why I had the jitters. One thing comes to mind: There is something about Monica that makes me feel young, reflective of my life experiences. Not saying that I am over-the-hill, but her vitality forces me to pause for a moment of self-reflection to ask myself a question, “Have I really traveled the right path?”
It is impossible not to do a personal inventory while being in the presence of Monica’s energy. Meeting her takes me back to my beginnings, and the thought is a little overwhelming.
I’m happy to say that most of my energy of youth is still at core, it’s just a little weathered, but nowhere near extinguished. Actually, it’s on a high and I am going through a rebirth of sorts—how else can I commit to the task of still keeping my assignment work vibrant while continuing the 365 journey?
So as I conduct my mental inventory this night the answer to my earlier question of, “Have I really traveled the right path?” is a resounding, “YES-ABSOLUTELY!”
I’ve spoken often of the wisdom of youth. Monica is yet another cornerstone for the future: bright, articulate, and artistic.
A student of communications, she has set her career course. Speaking of art and youth culture, aspects like music, fashion, and lifestyle, she is a people person and is looking forward to a life in Public Relations.
What is striking about Monica, is her relaxed confidence. There is purpose in her eyes as she speaks her words of counsel.
To young people:
“Save your money. Invest it on classic things and your education. Stay away from the trendy, it will only take it away from you and leave you with nothing to show.”
To the older people (that’s me):
“It’s never too late.” (Amen to that!)
For all of us (I love this one), “Mac, not PC.”
Monica sees the brightness of the world. She talks about the power of music festivals and the people who attend them. “I’ll never miss one again. It’s amazing hanging with so many different people, all having fun camping and enjoying music.” As she tells me this, I see her mind gears turning. It’s more than the music, it is a life beat. An awareness of people, culture, and communication.
12:30am now. I think I’m getting closure to my jitters about speaking with Monica. It wasn’t nervousness, it was excitement and enthusiasm for what’s to come.
So a toast to all of us in raising our glasses high, it does not matter what our age…it’s never too late!”
Monica, thanks for the push (and yes, I’m a Mac person).