Day 24: If it’s nude, I’ll be there!

“If it’s nude, I’ll be there!”

Unbelievable! I actually found a couple of hours to relax poolside. An unexpected bonus seeing that, as I was at the beginning of a one-week workshop I was presenting to JPAC (Joint POW/MIA Accounting Command) at Pearl Harbor, was a moment that I took full hold of. Had a few nice chats with the strangers beside me. You know the usual safe stuff. The small talk one might expect when mingling with vacationers. But as I took in the casual chatter, I notice a through-line of conversation that was slowly building momentum, not only poolside but as I found out later speaking with the girl at Starbucks, had reached deep into the resort’s culture.

It was a set of questions regarding a regular visitor to the hotel’s beach. That being, Who is the g-stringed man? And in that curiosity, it was apparent that there was much speculation. Reasonings like, could he be from France? I think he talks to himself! Watch out he’s a molester! A porn star?! And the more I heard the conjecture, the more I was compelled to know the truth. There was no way I was going to pass up the possibility to meet a man of such controversy. And being no subscriber to gossip or speculation, the only answer for me was to go directly to the source. And that’s exactly what I did.

Say hello to Ray, the man of mystery. Turned out he was a very charming and confident nudist—at least as nude as he could be at a public beach. I caught up with him as he humorously posed for a photo-op with another not-so-shy Hawaii visitor. It was so obvious that Ray did not take life too seriously. Proven as he allowed said visitor to have a photo taken with her hand on his… let’s just say, lower rear region.

The lady was eating it up, and as fast as she left, (huge smile on face), and without pause, female two jumped for her photo opp. All the while her chuckling husband taking snapshots of the entire scene. For certain, another memory for a lighthearted vacationer.

“I will never leave this place, it’s an endless party.”

In both cases, he thanked them with the kindness and grace of a seasoned ambassador. So I figured, surely he will allow me to take his photo. And as I guessed, it didn’t take any convincing to get his less than speedo-covered celebrity to buy-in. I’m serious about the “celeb” status. For it seemed, that even though under the watching eye of hotel security, he rose front and center as talk of Hilton’s Hawaiian Village. With humility, backed by a sincere and heartfelt laugh, he offered me all the time I needed for a photo and interview. As as I sat by his side, I felt the wondering eyes of all those passing by. Sort of a guilt-by-association thing. But no worries for Ray, he was all in and down for the fun and publicity.

Turned out Ray was from New Jersey, possessed a Master’s Degree in electrical engineering, and had recently retired from a high position within Northrup Grumman, exiting a successful career as a Computer Systems Analyst? A surprising fact that I never considered in my first impression of him. This so overexposed guy was no fool. Truly quite the opposite; an articulate, educated man, he was living life to the maximum degree.

There was no chip on his shoulder regarding his outlook on life; even if he had one, where would he hide it anyway?

He shared his love of Hawaii, stating, “I will never leave this place, it’s an endless party.” A claim I heard from many of the beach regulars. But although not all that unique, a claim he so obviously deserved to own. Ray trusted me with a few life details, which with respect to him, I choose to keep concealed. Details that, although conflicted directly against my value system, where lifestyle choices that he shared with other consenting adults. Evidence that could not be disputed in verifying his credentials to boast of his party rights. Yet, there was no malice in his intent, and from what I felt as he admitted the purpose of his actions were to simply entertain, I concluded that he was doing no harm. And even though I did hear a few hotel patrons complaining of his presence, I took position in supporting his right to share the beach. For as I witnessed a greater outreach from those with a more playful and appreciative outlook of Ray. Like I said earlier, many people posed with him. Certainly taking home memories of red faces and laughter. So Ray, hat’s off to your courage and the smiles you put on people’s faces.

My eyes were opened that day. Not so much in being brought up to speed as Ray explained he was wearing was his modest beach attire. And as I shook my head in uptaking that fact, he invited me to the parties and offered to tour guide me to his comfort place, the local nude beaches. I declined.

Ray, thanks for the memories!

Day 157: Roberto’s Dream

“I’d like to see younger people in the government. We need more young people in power. And what I mean about power is young people able to make decisions. They have a fresher perspective and listen to the people. It does not matter if they are Democrat or Republican.”

“What words of counsel do you have for the world?” I asked.

“It’s difficult for me,” musician Roberto replied in Spanish.

And with the help of Hector, the manager of Follow Your Heart supermarket and restaurant, who interprets for us, Roberto continued.

“The solution to the troubles of the world? It’s not political, because the two systems—socialism and capitalism, have not found the way for people to be more united and in solidarity.

So to me, the solution is to be more open to the opinions of others, to listen and respect each other. It’s more about the people and less about the government.”

Roberto is a patriot, a true respecter of the American dream. He talked of the freedoms we are graced with in the United States and was open about his wishes for the world to become unified. A theme that we have heard throughout Sidewalk Ghosts, one that I am hearing, and somewhat sadly becoming apparent, more readily from people not born on American soil. All legal, all paying their taxes, and all extremely happy to be living in a democracy.

At first, Roberto was a little hesitant to interview, but with the support of Hector, who graciously found us sitting room in one of the busiest vegan eateries in the area, we settled in for a pleasant conversation.

It was cool how I even got there. Only one hour prior I was perplexed as to where to go on that Sunday evening. Sunday is always the hardest day for me. It’s the day that I do my best to find time for family. And every week the thought of an hours-long adventure became more and more difficult to endeavor, even with my drive to not stop interviewing strangers for 365 consecutive days.

Roberto continued, “I’d like to see younger people in the government. We need more young people in power. And what I mean about power is young people able to make decisions. They have a fresher perspective and listen to the people. It does not matter if they are Democrat or Republican.”

Roberto talked of the people and of solidarity, something that we all share common ground in desiring.

I’ve had conversations with 1000s of people, all vast in their beliefs, ethnicities, age, status, and histories, and from these, I can comfortably state with the credentials of all I have spoken with—we all seek the same desire to be loved and respected for who we are. This alone is basis for us to consider how we view each other, and to steal a dream from Roberto, “Wouldn’t it be nice to have a world that is more united and in solidarity.”

Roberto expressed what he called “My idealistic dream.”

It goes like this:

“The same way that this country became the most powerful nation in the world, I think that now in this country the young people of the very same nation should achieve the change in the world. The change that people will create more solidarity. And that this same youth should fight for the same equality that we have in this country to be everywhere else.

Roberto was a humble dude, a talented guitar player, and a citizen of the planet. He spoke powerfully of the freedom of individuality and the peace of community. He dreamt a dream that I am sure we all share. His words challenging us to action. An action that is not beyond our means, and an initiative that, hopefully, we are all beginning to embrace through the encouragement given to us by the words of strangers now friends. Wisdom and shared perspectives that can touch the core of our own self-worth.

Roberto asks of us only one thing, to respect each other for who we are, to drop the guile, judgment, and fear. To extend our minds in having faith in people, and as we do, to allow fresh thinking in exploring the ways we view and act towards one another.

When Hector first introduced me to Roberto, he told me this, “Roberto is the man you need to interview. He is the greatest man in the San Fernando Valley.”

I have faith in the young people.

“I have faith in the young people.” Roberto stood strong. And from what I’ve experienced in the last 10 years of reaching out to strangers, I have to agree.

My hope, let us old folks teach them well, and with a listening ear, consider their wisdom. After all, they are the future, and times are changing, my friends.

Roberto left us with this, A little embarrassing for me to share, but I must publish it as a tribute to you.

I ask you in reading it, to own it to yourselves and not of me. For it is a result of you, and I want no glory for its creation or growth.

So here it is. From Roberto through me to you: “I don’t believe in God, but if he does exist, I thank him for people doing things like what you are doing. You are bringing people together and that is what matters in this world.”

Bringing people together… for whatever had drawn us together in the growth of Sidewalk Ghosts. Joined in a charge of purpose, even a universal mission to maintain a positive perspective towards humanity, and not from government, our affiliations, or any other form of direction.

Please know with this statement I am not proclaiming revolution or advocating any form of disengagement from reality. What I am proposing is humbly this, that we look at one another with respect and compassion.

We don’t all have to be intimate friends, we don’t even have to agree with or want to befriend one another, for to even think of a global kumbaya society would be a completely unachievable proposition. But we can, at least, learn to throw less dirt as we strengthen our listening, and with that, perhaps in our alliances and battles, we might see what being in this together really means. Pass it on, my friends.

.

Day 218: We need to show more open hand than fist

“The most important thing that I want to tell the world is to respect everyone, the planet, and everything. Nobody talks for real peace, everyone tries to fix the problem. But the way they are doing it is creating more problems. We need to show more open hand than the fist.”

“Look at people for who they are inside, and respect everyone. Not for what they look like on the outside… and don’t judge by clothing, job, or looks.” — Gaetiao

The sun was setting fast and, as I hurried to park my car, I hoped sunlight would light my sidewalk portrait and interview of a stranger that night. Into the parking structure I raced as I readied myself for a foot dash to crowds on the streets below. Into my precision driving skills, I pushed as with a last-dash veer, and at G-forces that were perhaps a little excessive, I sped toward what looked like the last open space on the top floor. Seemed safe to do, the lot was empty of people after all, or at least I thought. As I got out of my car I realize that I was not alone in my speed-racing moment. Walking towards me was a man who seemed to be in a rush of his own.

I thought “Stay out of his path, he looks like he has someplace to go, and in a hurry?”

But in a spark of thought that line of reason was extinguished as I reached out with a simple, “Hello.”

The hello led to a kind gesture returned, and that kind gesture led to a brief conversation. I asked if I could interview him.

A transplant to the United States from Sicily, Gaetiao spoke of his reasoning for coming to America. “I’m a mafia refuge,” he smilingly began.

“A mafia refuge?” I inquired.

Gaetiao smiled again as he elaborated, “I’m just kidding about the mafia… but it is very difficult to get a job in Sicily unless you know someone. That is what I mean by my joke. Every day I was working very hard for a better life… and I did not like the rules. If you needed a job, it was about who you knew… not what you could do… or who you were. And in a way, I guess it is a little of the same everywhere. They change the music, but the rhythm is still the same.”

“What about the future Gaetiao?” I expanded.

With grace, he replied, “The most important thing that I want to tell the world is to respect everyone, the planet, and everything. Nobody talks for real peace, everyone tries to fix the problem. But the way they are doing it is creating more problems. We need to show more open hand than the fist.”

“Are we getting close to being finished?” Gaetiao asked. “I have to finish a job I’m w

We clicked a few frames, and with a warm and sincere eye-to-eye handshake, we went our ways.

Day 350: Come On…You Can Do This. Figure it Out.

“Technology is not the only solution; we need to learn how to overcome things without getting lost in it.”

You may remember Betsy from day sixty-three, a really cool lady and the art teacher of my daughter. Not only is she sincere in her collaboration with the world, but she is also a very talented artist who, since our meeting, has embarked on her own 365-day blog commitment in hitting her over-180-day mark this month: The Pinups of Betsy VanDeusen.

I have a lot of respect for Betsy, so yesterday when I popped my head into the studio where she teaches, she suggested that I interview her teaching colleague.  I didn’t hesitate to return today to talk to recommended stranger-now-friend, Vanessa.

Vanessa has an infectious laugh and a charming personality. It is quickly apparent why she has dedicated her life to the teaching of our future generation. Vanessa truly cares about our children and the world they will be stepping into, a fact that can be absorbed in every word she shares.

“Can I give advice about anything?” Vanessa inquires.

“Absolutely, the microphone is yours,” I smile.

Vanessa responds with an enchanting charisma. “I’ll hand down some advice that I read in a book, it is called The Last Lecture. Basically, it talks about people making promises, and what to believe from people… what they tell you.The advice was to judge a person not by what they say… but by their actions. I take that with everything that I do. People can say anything… it is easier to say than to do. And when someone does something it really proves their character and it proves the type of person that they are.”

We talk of the world to come.

“When I think about the future,” Vanessa positions, “I mainly think about having kids and of the future I want them to have. I think about the kind of world that they will be living in, and how it will shape them into who they are later on. 

“And when I think about it… probably ten years from now when I have kids… I question what the world will be like? And I think there will probably be some kind of progression of disconnection between people. I see it happening now and I don’t see it improving. I think that disconnection has something to do with technology—even though the point of technology is to connect people in other ways. But, a lot of the times people forget how to really connect with other people on a personal level.

“I work at a middle school and I see kids with information at their fingertips. It is so easy for them to get information than when I was younger when you had to actually go to the library and look up books. I remember that is what research was like for me. It astounds me how kids want to know it now… and how they will find a way to get it now.

“It is important, especially for kids, to learn how to do it old school, to go to a library and to look something up… to put down the technology for just a minute… and just remember what it should be like… and to remember how we did it back then. 

“It’s good to know technology and to be current because it does do so much good. But we have to know it all. And with kids, the more they know the better they are… it never hurts to know the traditional stuff.

“Technology is not the only solution; we need to learn how to overcome things without getting lost in it.”

Vanessa talks of kids who she takes to the library and how they don’t know the basics of using a table of contents or an index.

“It really surprises me. It’s not that hard,” she says in reciting the encouragement she gives to her students.

And with this I give you her words, they go like this: “Come on… you can do this. Figure it out.”

I’m shutting down my web browser now… there are a lot of books upstairs and I’m off to search for a good chapter.

Talk tomorrow friends…and by the way, I still owe you a report on the Ping Pong Council.

Day 147: They Think I’m a Paparazzi

“I’d like to see the world become closer to being in unity. People loving each other, respecting all as one family. Back to the ways things used to be, helping each other, not that we have too, but because we want to.”

It’s been a while since I’ve given you an outlined day, and being mid-shoot on a two-day portrait project, and needing rest for tomorrow, I deem it appropriate to cut-to-the-chase. Here we go…

5:00am: Alarm Clock sounds, eyes brutally slam open.

5:15am: Beat buzzing digital wake-up device into snoozing submission as eyeballs tank me.

5:30am: Buzz resumes, snooze timed-out. Submit to morning and sense of responsibility, and focus vision.

6:00am: Exit shower, find missing sock, and prepare to attack the day.

6:00am to 6:30am: Physical training, camera equipment lunges in loading car for today’s shoot—we have to get our exercise, don’t we? My favorite… sandbag curls.

6:30am to 8:45am: Two hours, fifteen minutes, twenty-four miles of traffic hell (welcome to LA), stress to maintain composure, consume traveling breakfast, relinquish to fact that French bread crumbs can be a fashion statement if properly distributed over jacket, jeans and facial hair.

8:45am to 9:30am: Arrive at location, resume aerobic portion of physical training, the speed rush to get equipment to the fifth floor in setting up studio.

9:30am to 5:00pm: Great shoot day, meet tons of cool people, gain smile on face.

5:30pm to 6:45pm: (Fantasy Time Version)—365 walk of street in West Los Angeles, everyone loves me, talk to endless people, find innumerable opportunities to meet 365 friends.

5:30pm to 6:45pm: (What really happens)— Wander up-and-down six city blocks, high-end stores all around me. Even with my smile and hellos, not all engage with me, have several conversations, no takers, finally find Patrick, who is willing to interview. He tells me that at first glance he thought I was paparazzi. I should have figured that out when I passed The Ivy (for those of you who don’t know Los Angeles, The Ivy is a very exclusive restaurant, a real paparazzi target).

Patrick’s Council:

“Love everyone as you love yourself. Treat others as you want to be treated.” The Golden Rule… can never hear it enough.

Patrick’s View Of Mankind:

“The simple fact is that basic human nature is caring and kind to each other.”

Patrick’s Pet Peeve:

“Don’t litter, keep the planet clean, don’t trash our cities. It’s sad to walk around and see people littering. One day we will all be living in trash if we don’t do something about it now. That’s why my role model is Captain Planet.”

Makes me think of my interview with Bronwyn, Treat The Planet Right.

Patrick’s Wish For The Future:

“I’d like to see the world become closer to being in unity. People loving each other, respecting all as one family. Back to the ways things used to be, helping each other, not that we have too, but because we want to. That would be nice. Maybe even more barter and trade, with not so many people trying to get rich. I think about the veterans who have become homeless, or families that are struggling, we should help them. Stuff like that.”

6:45pm to 8:00pm: Commute home The drive is easier in the evening, saved an hour.

8:00pm to 10:00pm: Watch a Columbo re-run with family. I know, I’m such a cool dude.

10:00pm to 11:00pm: Write this entry and prepare photos.

11:00pm: Wrap, take, shoot, and time to watch one more Columbo before sleep. Hey, I told you I’m cool.

Day 200: Relax, It’s Gonna Work Out

“So many people today are ‘self-aware,’ but lack the ability for ‘self-reflection’… when the door is unlocked, at least twist the door handle and check it out. Know yourself and see if it is what you want.”

Richard has been glued to his chair for days, retouching images from some recent projects — remove all that is unwanted, enhance what is there, and “keep it natural.”

I have to laugh about it sometimes; our world is obsessed with perfection, even at the expense of reality. However, to give equal voice to the art of retouching—a still photo is fixed, static, immovable, and sometimes “flaws” that would never, ever be noticed when a person is in motion, stand out so prominently that they overpower the whole. When personality, mood, and natural body expression contribute their share to the overall look of a person you get a very different picture. I could go on and on about this topic and the “false” images we are promoting to an ever self-confidence-loosing generation, but I’ll put my soapbox away (for now).

OK, so, I wandered off-track. Where is Richard and why is he having his lovely wife host-writing for him today? Well, once again, Richard’s schedule has compressed. As stated before, he has been retouching, prepping for a shoot tomorrow, and he still needs to shoot and write his 365 entry—taking him to the point of making a choice between sleep and work. As he needs to leave by 6:30am to be on set, I tell him to sleep and I will write his post for him. He gladly accepts… hopefully he won’t regret his decision.

I will admit, I have been grumpy most of the day. Hormones, lack of sleep, off-day… I don’t know, but my cup ’o patience is empty. After dinner I suggest we all get out of the house and go for a walk – dad, mom, daughter, razor scooter, Scottie, and Yorkie… the whole menagerie parading around the neighborhood, but it helps to shake my negative mood. It has been raining and this evening is absolutely beautiful. Afterward, Richard suggests we all head to Starbucks to get some hot cocoa and I could help him interview his 365 Stranger for day 200. So, off we go…

We arrive at Richard’s favorite Starbucks (I can think of at least 5 others within a short distance from our home – crazy). 

“Wanna try a difference Starbucks tonight?” I ask.

“Not tonight. I like this one. There’s a lot of traffic and I always seem to meet someone here.”

Upon arrival, Richard immediately sees one of his past 365 friends and talks to him for a few minutes. He feels at home and I go along with it. A couple hot chocolates and a slice of pumpkin bread later, we find a table outside and wait. Richard has already had two rejections: interesting project, but not interested in being part of it. Richard doesn’t get ruffled or give up, he just counts them as two more people he has met and goes on.

“Life has a way of unraveling on its own, but everything has a strange way of working out.” He adds, “A lot of people get really caught up in their future and stress about it.”

As my daughter and I sip our warm pepper-minty cups and nibble on the bread, Richard approaches a couple sitting at a table. He talks to them for a minute and our daughter pops out, “They’re gonna do it!” Knowing that I am going to be host-writing today, I walk over to the table to be included in the conversation.

Meet our 365 Friends for day 200: Quintin and Jacklyn. Coming to Starbucks to take advantage of the wireless service, the friends huddle at an outdoor table to enjoy the evening and just be in the moment.

Quintin and Jacklyn are fun, intelligent, and easy to talk with. I will not reveal their ages, but I seriously thought we were talking to college graduates, several years into a profession. I was surprised to find that I was quite wrong. They are both barely two decades old, yet their insight on life and wisdom was refreshing and amazing to me. Both Richard and I left this meeting with a sense of hope for the future.

Quintin expresses, “Life has a way of unraveling on its own, but everything has a strange way of working out.” He adds, “A lot of people get really caught up in their future and stress about it.”

Jacklyn chimes in: “Enjoy where you are at the moment. Everyone is in such a rush.”

Now don’t get me wrong, these are not two kids just kickin’ it and letting life happen to them; quite the opposite. Their stance is more one of self-reflection, getting to know yourself, and understanding what you have to offer. Being true to yourself and your gifts and relaxing about it – being OK with who you are.

Jacklyn explains that one of the greatest gifts her parents gave her was the ability to do self-reflection—her key to life. “So many people today are ‘self-aware,’ but lack the ability for ‘self-reflection’… when the door is unlocked, at least twist the door handle and check it out. Know yourself and see if it is what you want.”

We talk for a time on this subject and Quintin, when asked about what he sees in the future, presents a very intriguing idea. He explains that since 2008, and the subsequent economic turmoil that has affected so many, he has noticed, “Even in the youth, all around, all are starting to do things they want to do… because, ‘How bad can it really get?’”

Both Jacklyn and Quintin express that uncertainty is one of the greatest gifts in life. When each day comes you can ask yourself, “What is going to come my way? I am going to wrap my arms around it.”

Jacklyn explains that we cannot see the future. Using the 1950s as an example of a time when we were better able to look to the future and map out a plan with some level of certainty: “50s life was so set-out… our lives are not so mapped out.” However, “we can hop on the computer and be more aware of things happening around (us). I like to think there is a happier outlook for the future”

Jacklyn and Quinton — thank you for your optimism, your maturity, and your fresh outlook on life. I hope for everyone that we can all do some self-reflection, trust our inner voice, and step forward with confidence in the belief that we all have something valuable to bring to the game—all in good time, all in good time.

Day 360: Happy Belly Button Day

Everybody is born into this world with nothing. Now when you get into the world… it’s a cold cruel world, and unless someone gets the right nurturing from a mother and a father, they are going to go haywire.

At a pace that is difficult to keep up with, The Chief talks to me about medicine, his spiritual reference for prayers, his outlook toward his fellow human beings, of his years living on Venice beach, the importance of parenting, the environment, and his wish for a more loving world.

“There was a lot of anger, a lot of hate, a lot of drugs… sex, drugs and rock and roll on this beach ten years ago. It was a horrible place to visit. I was born and bred and raised out here… and I didn’t want to be here… and this is my home.

“I was here in the sixties—the civil rights movement, the peace movement, all the movements. I was very pro-active. Not pro-politician, not pro-religion, but pro-active because I felt that we are born into the world with nothing… right? Everybody is born into this world with nothing. Now when you get into the world… it’s a cold cruel world, and unless someone gets the right nurturing from a mother and a father, they are going to go haywire.

“We need to teach people what is going on in the world. The truth; not the innuendos that we are all doing great… America is the big number one, the Big Brother of all… we help everybody in the world… that’s why we are in trouble. At this point, nobody really cares.

“When I last heard we all have freedom of speech… I’ve practiced that. So nobody has the right to tell me to shut up—from here to DC—if you’re making a point. Now I could be screaming, or ranting, or raving, that is medoing it to me… throwing it in the air. But if I welcome you, with love and peace… bingo! See what I’m saying?”

And here is what the Chief is saying, “We are all born, everybody, into this world with nothing… and we leave with nothing. I know other people have said that, but you’ve got to realize what I am saying. I put nothing above a human being. NOTHING!I don’t care what it is: a car, a plane, money, anything. I don’t put anything above a human being. Because you (the Chief points to me) are just as scared of a human being, as you (he points to my friend, Buddy), are as sacred of a human being as I (pointing to himself) am as a human being. And nobody has the right to take anybody to where they do not want to go—to kick anybody or to tell anybody what they have to do. You can explain to people what they should do, but you have no right to tell nobody nothing.

“I’m in love. I love everything walking above the Earth on two legs. I don’t care what race they are… color… creed…”

“So I make everything as equal. The biggest joke out there is that I am sort of like the town friar… the town messenger. And I come out and say, ‘Happy belly button day! Does everybody have their belly buttons on!’ Well of course, if you are walking on two legs, everybody as a belly button, all belly buttons being equal. Now, from the new little belly buttons in their strollers all the way up to the old haggidy man walking down the street, we are born into the world with nothing, and we take nothing with us when we leave. What messes us up is this right here,” the Chief point to his head. “It always wants to explore.”

I interrupt, “So with that brain, and looking towards the future, what do you see, or where should we head?”

The Chief resumes his pace, “I see it like this… if we continue to derogate our planet, cutting down our rain forests, and creating more nuclear waste, we are going to have big problems.

“And we have to eliminate to hate, and replace it with love.”

“Do you think we can have a loving future?” I ask.

“I’m in love. I love everything walking above the Earth on two legs. I don’t care what race they are… color… creed. I don’t care what religion they are. I don’t care if they have warts on their nose. They deserve to breathe the air, just as everybody else does. Nobody asked nobody to show up, and now that we are here we have to hold firm to the sacredness of life, of other humans, and then realize that we are OK.”

Funny how timing works out. We end our interview and as we do, and in proof of The Chief’s integrity, a witness to his works surprisingly joins us when up walks a stranger and smilingly says to The Chief, “Happy belly button day!”

I’ll never look at anyone’s navel the same again! Chief, thanks for your inspiration!

Day 301: Live Life to the Fullest

“Stop placing blame. Don’t blame others. You can’t blame society and you can’t blame the government. You have to look at yourself in the mirror and realize that you have control over your situation. As soon as you take self-responsibility you enable yourself. You can’t blame others.”

Tanner is physically cut, and bold in his conviction. The kind of guy that looks at home in a gym, the hub of self-absorbed culture and petri dish for assumed vanity. A place where three times a week I teach spinning. Lucky for me, the beliefs of the majority of my class are of accepting of friendship. For this reason, it is always a pleasure to enter the doors of this ‘look at my abs’ establishment.

An assessment that I admit I make in jest of my own insecurity as I gaze over the stored fat fuel that I’ve humorously referred to as my “One Pack.”

But still… even with the extra fuel, I boast that I can maintain quite a cadence on a bike. And now, just celebrating my fifty-first birthday, that is good enough for me.

So in my final analysis, the gym I work at is OK. Sure, there are those who are walled in their own shells. But on the whole, I’ve met some very well-adjusted people. And hat’s off to them for bettering their state of health. There is no sin in that.

Tanner is such a man. A loving father of five, a survivor of economic turndown, and target of life’s judgments—he has learned to grab onto every moment for all it has to offer. Yet, within his powerful forward-thinking attitude, there is an air of compassion. “Live life to the fullest. Be positive…motivating…and have a life that is structured. Know that the sky-is-the-limit—you can do whatever you want to do, and accept that there is a divine spirit.”

We talk for a while about the point of “living life to the fullest.” Some may say, “Sounds like a selfish claim that is dismissive to the trials of others.” But in reading Tanner’s interpretation of the statement, we have to listen to the way he weaves it. “Live life to the fullest… Be positive… motivating… and have a life that is structured.”

Tanner speaks of being positive and motivating. If you were sitting with us, you would fully understand what Tanner is feeling as he says this. Bottom line, Tanner is not absorbed in himself; he is doing what he can to live a life that can be an example to others. “Know that the sky is the limit… you can do whatever you want to do… and accept that there is a divine spirit.” He says. And, I promise you he means it. Not so much as a reminder to himself, but as an understanding outreach to us, his neighbors.

“Never let anyone tell you that you can’t do anything. Be strong. Always challenge yourself to get to the next level.” He inspires.

“I’ll admit, I grew up where I never had a want or a need, but as I became an adult and I saw and experienced struggle…and I feel strongly, deep inside, that we can conquer any struggle that is put in front of us.

Tanner is a listener, so I have to push his thinking a little by asking, “What would you say to the person who is having a hard time finding the first step? Who might be saying, ‘It’s easy you, but you don’t know what my life is like.’”

He responds without holding back. “Stop placing blame. Don’t blame others. You can’t blame society and you can’t blame the government. You have to look at yourself in the mirror and realize that you have control over your situation. As soon as you take self-responsibility you enable yourself. You can’t blame others.”

I press again. “What about all those out there that are in situations truly beyond their control; genocides and other atrocities? Where people are trying, yet the world around them is conspiring against them. Is there any advice you can give them?”

Again he charges self-reliance. “Number one is you have to be motivated. No one told us life is going to be easy. What makes us master life is how we deal with difficult times.”

“I’ll admit, I grew up where I never had a want or a need, but as I became an adult and I saw and experienced struggle…and I feel strongly, deep inside, that we can conquer any struggle that is put in front of us.

“As far as what is going on in the world? That is going to happen. It has been going on since the beginning of time. We have to look at the situation, and as hard as it is to do, look at it in a positive aspect.

“I’ve traveled the world, and the media has taught that in certain places of the world I would be killed. But when I went to those places no one harmed me. Yea, they were poor, but there was food in the trees, there was a lake full of fish. These were hard-working and happy people and I did not see anyone hungry. So we have to educate ourselves and not believe what the media teaches us. We all go through hard times, but we have to learn from them and just keep pushing forward.”

This point has been driven home so many different ways in 365: The teenager who was shot two times as a child in an act of Anti-Semitism—his outlook of forgiveness and strength is awe-inspiring. The Croatian man who, during the years of genocide, walked his family hundreds of miles to safety—who with a smile of compassion on his face, holds only gratitude as he looks at the positive choices of his situation. The x-gangster who admits that at one time had no remorse in any way, and of a terrible childhood— who has turned his life to God and walks the streets serving his fellowman is whatever capacity he can.

The list goes on and on, but in all, the message is clear. Man has the ability to overcome anything and to love with the purest of intent.

Tanner calls it willpower, destiny, and the results of working hard.

“What’s funny is I think the world is getting better,” Tanner pauses. “I think we are eating better; we are more cautious of the fuel that we burn; we are more cautious not to leave our lights on; we are conserving water and buying power-efficient cars and items for our homes. I think we are heading on the right path. The Internet is here to educate us… people are reading more books… we are now more conscious of what’s around us. We are heading in the right direction… and we are using our words. People are actually speaking out now and educating each other. I don’t think we are heading into destruction what-so-ever.”

In many ways, we have all been singing the same tune. Some in animated optimism, others in reserved fear. What’s inspiring is that our sum vision is of living with a united hope for the years ahead. And a unanimous dream that we can come closer together as a people.

I call us, “The Silent Majority.”

We are all seeking the same truth after all; a truth cannot be fully defined by many a religion, government, or culture. A truth, however, that is already at the core of who we are as a species—human.

Tanner talks of parenting, “I tell my kids, ‘You are in control of your own destiny. Don’t look for any man, or any woman, to lift your spirit—to tell you that you’re great, or you’re good. You look in the mirror and lift your own spirit; number one. And never let anyone tell you that you can’t do something. You can do whatever you want to do.’”

My hope is that what we chose to do is palpable? That we learn to love our neighbor as ourselves, “The Golden Rule,” that has so often come up in our 365 conversations.

Tanner concludes by exposing his daily affirmation. “Every morning when I get up I say this little speech: I’m Alive. I’m Alert. And I Feel Great! I say it loud and alive.

“As a society, I think we need to stay away from the media and look toward one another. To not get hooked on Facebook or Twitter… walking around like zombies. Appreciate the birds and the world around us, and Find things that lift our spirit.

“I think in this world it is easy to blame someone… or yourself. In my career, I’m always hearing people complaining. They complain first— over small itty-bitty things. If we blame others, or ourselves, we can’t get past core issues. Our society needs to stop blaming and to take personal responsibility for our actions. Even if we have done something extremely wild when we were kids, we have to accept that’s in the past, and just go on. But a lot of people live in the past.”

One word comes to mind in reviewing my time spent with Tanner. Sure, he is a motivator, and absolutely, he is successful by the world’s standards. But in looking between the lines and hearing what he reveals to me about his life history, Tanner screams one powerful word in all that he says: Empathy.

I will not sugar-coat reality. Absolutely, the world is filled with the greatest of wonders and the most disheartening of actions. But in all, several questions bear strong in navigating us to greener pastures.

In cracking our eyes at each Dawn, might we ponder: “What have I overcome? What am I thankful for? How can I apply my life history to help, or at least open a door to a better understanding of my fellow human?”

From there, quite possibly, we can, as Tanner suggests, “Live life to the fullest.”

ring people complaining. They complain first— over small itty-bitty things.If we blame others, or ourselves, we can’t get past core issues. Our society needs to stop blaming and to take personal responsibility for our actions. Even if we have done something extremely wild when we were kids, we have to accept that’s in the past, and just go on. But a lot of people live in the past.”

One word comes to mind in reviewing my time spent with Tanner. Sure, he is a motivator, and absolutely, he is successful by the world’s standards. But in looking between the lines and hearing what he reveals to me about his life history, Tanner screams one powerful word in all that he says: Empathy.

I will not sugarcoat reality. Absolutely, the world is filled with the greatest of wonders and the most disheartening of actions. But in all, several questions bear strong in navigating us to greener pastures.

In cracking our eyes at each Dawn, might we ponder: “What have I overcome? What am I thankful for? How can I apply my life history to helping, or at least opening a door to a better understanding of my fellow human?”

From there, quite possibly, we can, as Tanner suggests, “Live life to the fullest.”