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richard radstone
Episode 41: Her Mothers Eyes
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As she fights against the darkness of human trafficking, she reveals a superpower within the reach of us all.
Lucy
My mom grew up in an orphanage. She was born in Nineteen thirty-five, and I think she went into the orphanage probably around Nineteen thirty-eight or thirty-nine. But it wasn’t until I was an adult that I realized that she never really felt sorry for herself or complained, ever, about being an orphan. She had zero sense of victim… to her. She was incredibly grateful, if anything, to the nuns who raised her and her two sisters. Sorry, I didn’t even know this would affect me this way. I don’t think I’ve ever really told the story. In every one of her stories, there was this hope someone will come along and adopt her. Even though she never related as a victim, or sad, or anything else. I heard it, and um, her dreams of a family embracing her only existed to sustain that hope. And most nights she would, while everyone else was sleeping, she would sit on the edge of her bed next to sixty other cots and just stare outside at the city lights dreaming of the couple that would someday come and take her home. Just love her. Just wanna include her in their family. This one sweet little girl. And my mom literally was like an angel. Most likely the families that she saw outside the orphanage gates were thinking, “what can I do? I’m just one person? The problem is so big! (Lucy now with tears) Sorry, I don’t think I’ve ever told that story before.
Richard
By her tears, I was set free. Descended upon by an influence far above the vision of my own human eyes. In her courage, she trusted me with a very personal memory. And as I listened, I began to see beyond the photographic images she creates, past the countless list of NGOs and Non-Profits that have retained her, into the over 90 countries she has walked. She calls it “boots on the ground.” I call her a humble, caring, and brave person. A fact credited to the works she does in her fight against
human trafficking, forced marriage, slavery, and the ever-morphing list of crimes against humanity. And as the vale drops from my eyes, it’s easy to feel of the spirit that moves her. The whispering voice of a sweet little girl she calls, mother. And it’s through those eyes that she views the world around her.
Lucy
There was an interesting study done where the homeless were asked, what is the hardest part about living on the streets? And overwhelmingly, they check the other box that said, other. And they wrote, you know, they could write in, “not being seen. Being invisible. Feeling like I don’t matter.” Not being seen or heard was worse for them than being cold, or hungry. The greatest thing we can do is make people feel seen. And hear them, and listen to them, and show them that they count. That they’re special. People need to know that they matter, and in that regard, every single one of us has in us the power to make a meaningful positive impact on our struggling world. We all have the potential for greatness when it comes to loving others proactively. That’s something we all have. We might need to work on it. We might need to practice it. But we all have that. We have more of that. Some of us don’t have money. But we all have that.
Richard
She makes you think of the child living within yourself, of the tender mercies we each have equal right to receive, and of a guiding hand always outstretched to those who reach for it. An advocate for the worth of others she is. A perspective learned and lived forward through the healing of her own life experience. Yes, she hides it not. The years of herself being abused behind her: The resulting anxiety, depression,
isolation and anger she bore, now ghosts in the past. Yet, in her countenance can be seen a peace and strength that, driven by her will to heal, projects the grace that she radiates–even a light that might inspire each of us to overcome our darkest of times.
Lucy
It taught me to lean on the one and only thing that I always have, no matter what. Which is my faith… and I did. Knowing that my maker was my only friend. The only one who saw me and cared about me was all I had. You realize that’s all you have, You make the most of it.
Richard
Yes, a compassionate healer and survivor she is. A single mother and beloved daughter who has turned the pains of her past to blessings for the future, and as she nurtures and protects her own children, she is equally engaged to do what she can to better this world we share. She talks of a troubled country.
Lucy
Haiti is a rough place for a visitor. I won’t lie! When I walk down the street Port-au-Prince, I feel like people wanna kill me! There’s a lot of anger. But I think probably for good reason anyway. But regardless, there is a real sense of danger and violence in certain areas. But you get out into the countryside. There are some of the kindest and most generous people you could ever want to meet. And the bottom line is, hate is contagious. It’s very contagious. But so is love. How do we keep our eyes on that? I don’t know? It’s too easy to say it’s a choice. But I think we can be intentional about it, and I do believe that love is an action verb. It’s something we do. Not something we get. And remember hate is contagious. But so is love.
Richard
I asked a most delicate question. What would you share with someone who feels unloved, or at worse, of no value?
Lucy
When you’re that broken. When you’re that hurting, and that low, and somebody just looks at you. And smiles at you. And does some small favor. That can be a life-saving experience for some people. I know it sounds too easy. But it’s actually the hardest thing in the world. Something really special happens when love and compassion are exchanged between humans. One-on-one. You know? When every statistic has a face and a heart. Ideally, yes. Somebody who’s that broken eventually will get into some awesome rehab program, and they’ll get all the help they need for two years straight until they can slowly be eased back into society after going through the horrible things they’ve endured. But before they could even receive that, if that even existed, even if that was available, they really just need that moment of connection. That moment of love that says, “I see you! You matter! When you’re that broken having one person see you and making you feel like you matter is golden. I have come to the conclusion that love is actually a superpower. We’ve got our capes on and don’t even know we have it. But I think that love is incredibly powerful. Thousands and thousands of times more powerful than we realize it is. It’s millions of times more healing than we realize it is. And when you think of it like that, it’s literally a superpower. I could use love to change somebody. To make them feel like they matter. Think about that. Think about the power and the responsibility in that. So I think love is a superpower that we’ve been given and we take it for granted. And we forget how special it is. We all talk about it. We all want it. We all want to be more loving. But it’s also just sort of like something that just is. I don’t think we ever stop to realize just how incredibly powerful it is. And look at it as a superpower.
Richard
By no intent had I imagined the depth of Lucy’s love for the world around her. And by no means does she desire to shame or push any one of us to a place of pride or discomfort in owning our own gifts and demons. Yet as we take in her council, I have one simple hope. That she has, at least, loosened the burdens that tempt to divide us. She shares her closing wisdom.
Lucy
I’d like to see a world and a future where we embrace our innocence more. Where innocence is something to be held onto and is something to be respected. To me, innocence connotates class. Like a self-respect and openness, if there’s a way to combine those two. Self-respecting openness to protect a pure heart, and a pure mind. At least an attempt to. I believe we can be wise and grown-up and still maintain an err of innocence and openness.
Day 222: Make It Today
“We all have a 6th sense that we all feel, and we need to learn to express it or at least recognize it.”
“My wife and I just want to help people. We are all capable of amazing things if we stop judging and lashing out and learn to trust each other.” A killer quote from a very interesting and word frenzied artist, Charles, my new friend of day 222.
“I was born in 1980 and other than being a bit Bi-polar, and I lived in a pretty normal suburban neighborhood.
“My dad was a roofer and a reserve cop, and he taught me the importance of a good work ethic.
“I never finished high school, but I read a lot, authors like Tolstoy and Nietzsche, and I guess reading is what educated me.
“After that, I moved around the country: music, construction jobs, even time in San Francisco doing data work. I’ve seen a lot of things and dealt with many different kinds of people. And I’ve come to the conclusion that too many people are caught up in the distractions of the world and we all have our own vices.”
Charles talks about intuition, “We all have a 6th sense that we all feel, and we need to learn to express it or at least recognize it.”
Now looking at Charles, one might jump to conclusions as to his intent. He is radically tattooed, carries himself in a sunglass guarded strut, and the instant sight of him screams a subtle voice of intimidation. Yet, as I converse with him I come to know a man who has the purest of dreams for the world around him.
“The world is full of greed and people looking for self-gratification. That is why my wife and I recently left our jobs in the corporate world. The company that we worked for said it was all about people and helping the environment, but on the inside, it was the complete opposite. It treated its staff terribly and the only environmental good it did was based on what would give the greatest visibility for its profit line. It was all a lie and it took its toll on us.”
The world is full of greed and people looking for self-gratification. That is why my wife and I recently left our jobs in the corporate world.
That toll? Per Charles, “When we worked there the stress led us to the abuse of OxyContin and the use of Heroin, that was our vice and our escape, but now that we have left that world we are clean. It’s crazy, my wife has a degree in economics and is very smart, and even with that, the corporate world almost wrecked her. She says, ‘I left corporate because did not want to contribute to the degradation of society.’”
Charles is an artist through and through, and with the support of his wife has managed to find a release of his admitted bipolar energy through his art, words, and music.
“I just finished writing a book; it is a set of inspirations based on my life. It’s really more of an art piece. I bought this old typewriter and have hand-typed the whole thing on paper. I think I’m going to copy it and incorporate its pages into an art installation.”
Charles shares a few quotes from the book.
Everyone needs to look at their life and either change the things that they don’t like, or start appreciating the things that they have.
And here I sit again, human… all too human. I’m worried. I don’t work for urban anymore. I have spent months complaining about how much I hated it and how it was killing me, draining me of life and creativity. I hated it.
We are the only ones ourselves back from this peaceful place on earth. Our actions, our words. And on an extremely personal and individual way and thus unto a planetary scale.
I never thought I could live, and now I can’t imagine dying.”
We talk about the future for some time. Too many points to articulate in this short essay, but topics shared by so many of the strangers we have met. Then, right in the middle of our conversation, Charles throws a direct one-liner, “Can’t we all behave!”
It’s late now. 12:00 AM to be exact. My eyes are drooping and it’s time for me to wrap this entry up. Yet even though I’m fading fast, I hope I have been able to convey the energy and artistic wonder of Charles.
And in tribute to him, I’ll conclude with one more thought from his memoirs, simply this, “Make it today…”
Day 294: Food Truck Alley
“My advice for the world? As a teacher, I hope that humanity doesn’t stagger in its upward swing.”
“I like old stuff and new stuff. People say that I was born in the wrong era, but I have to nip that. I have an appreciation for antiquated things… Older things interest me…” Explains Squeezebox Sam as he generalizes his outlook on modern society.
“But I think that as far as society goes, as far as humanity goes, I feel like in the last one hundred… two hundred years… the human being as a creature has evolved socially and scientifically for the better. And I think I’m living in exactly the right period of time. I think I’m lucky to not have been put in 1890 or 1956 or something like that.”
Sam is a way cool gent, and with the companionship of his equally interesting fiancé, multi-media artist Nouar, I am not only entertained by their quirky style of street music but am enlightened by their charismatic blend of personality, intelligence, and spontaneous creativity.
It takes a special kind of person to open their world to unknown passer-byes. And at the prompt of my sister-in-law as we enjoy an outing at food truck alley, “Go talk to them!” I am captivated to grab sidewalk with my new artistic friends.
“Watch where you step.” The Squeezebox councils, “You’ve got to step carefully in your life. That applies to all kinds of things… from business to learning yourselves… leave a small footprint, that kind of thing. Watch where you step! You should always watch where you put your feet, both figuratively and in what you do. That’s my advice.”
Sam’s words so align with 365’s core purpose of getting us all to think more deeply about the question of putting our feet in the shoes of others. I tell Squeezebox about this premise.
“Ah yes!” he says, “Atticus Finch, To Kill A Mockingbird. One thing you’ve got to learn is to get in somebody else’s skin and walk around in it for a while. You’d get along with people a whole lot better.”
“You’ve got to step carefully in your life…You should always watch where you put your feet, both figuratively and in what you do. That’s my advice.”
The Squeezebox is a very educated man with multiple degrees he teaches a variety of subjects from art to film to English.
“I’ve been focusing on teaching English for the last couple of years, there’s better job security in that subject,” he tells me.
I’m not even going to get started on that soapbox. I’ll just keep it short. Well maybe not…
A couple of months ago while driving home, I noticed well-working traffic signals being replaced. About eight miles of them, they were in perfect working order. And, I would probably be bewildered to know exactly how much the expense of this senseless upgrade was to we the taxpayers. I’m sure it was a bunch of cash.
As I was stopped, yep, at one of the not yet replaced, well-working traffic signals, I looked to the left at a deteriorating elementary school. My heart sank a little as I thought about the school. Not just for the improvement (No! No! No!… I catch myself as I am writing this account), the maintenance funds it needs. Even more troublesome is the serious educational cutbacks of staff and curriculum that are rapidly becoming epidemic in many a school system.
From losing teachers to eliminating art and other similar courses that stimulate independent thinking our countries school system is becoming rapidly flawed. This added to classes that are overpopulated with good teachers being pressed to their breaking point in doing whatever they can to provide quality education. Added to this their hands are tied by an overwhelming number of political controls, organizational macro-management, and lack of financial incentives.
So to see an upgrade to a working traffic system, at the taxpayer’s expense, just kills me. I know the issues of governmental economic problems are overwhelming, and I am not speaking with my head in the clouds of wholly emotional outburst.
But I cannot for the life of me understand why one of the most important contributors to bettering the future, that being education, continues to take the financial back seat in many cases. I’m telling you, I’d be quite happy with the same old stoplights, knowing that money was pointed towards teaching our kids.
Alright, I’ll calm down… and Squeezebox, I appreciate you giving me the floor for a moment of vent. Thank you for your commitment to teaching our kids. Hope you can keep some of the arts alive in how you approach your English teaching.
“We need to recycle and take care of what we have already. Like this cup… I think,
‘What can I use it for?’”
Nouar shares a few words of advice. “Be careful on whose toes you step on today, because they may be connected to the ass you have to kiss tomorrow.”
Squeezebox bursts out a supportive chuckle, “It’s poetic!”
I think about Nouar’s call, and with a smile, realize how appropriate it is, even modifying it. “The reverse works too,” I reveal.
We exchange smiles and move on.
Nouar speaks of her concerns for the future. “We need to recycle and take care of what we have already… conservation and reusing in general.” Pointing to her cup, “Like this cup… I think, ‘What I can use it for?’ Always try to look at things in your surroundings in how you can reuse them. I’m an artist, so I guess I always look at things a little differently. ‘What can I do with this or that sort of thing?’”
Sam again smiles enthusiastically at his lady. And with the same energy Nouar passes the baton back to him for his comments on what’s ahead.
“My advice for the world?” The Squeezebox reflects. “As a teacher, I hope that humanity doesn’t stagger in its upward swing. I hope it keeps moving up… they don’t lag… they don’t stall off… they don’t get caught up in the now, instead of looking at the future.
“Yes… I think I’m going to hope for that. That people will do their part to make the world a better place for human beings in general.”
Readers, thank you for joining us this evening for our musical jaunt down food truck alley; Friday night home of fine food, entertainment, and for those who open their arms, meaningful conversation. Conversation that, with hope and humor, Squeezebox and Nouar have so gracefully entrusted to us. Their words are our feast this evening.
And even with so many eating options around tonight, after speaking with Squeezebox and Nouar, I consider myself nourished.
Well, let’s say “socially fed”… I still have to find my culinary treat!
Talk tomorrow my friends!
Day 158: Nobody is a Stranger
“Tell me what you know and you will entertain me, but tell me how you feel and you will intrigue me.”
In sixty minutes I pick my daughter up from her drama class. And with that purpose in my mind, I find myself rushing through the local Smart and Final, shopping for a few last-minute dinner items with my wife. Looks like we are having homemade pizzas. So Wolfgang, eat your heart out.
Still, and as always, my camera and iPad shadow me and I enter the vegetable and dairy section. And, based on past experience added to our time crunch, I am only semi hopeful of finding a new friend to interview. You see, I’ve learned from many supermarket rejections I was not someplace where it is easy to strike up a conversation.
Prepared for rejection, and with the clock ticking, I redied to reach out. For it would be weak of me to let the fear of the situation get the best of me. So I commit to my hellos.
My wife is focused on cheese, and as she grabs a super-sized Mozzarella, I see a woman turn our way. My stomach jitters, not a usual sensation, for I’ve been approaching strangers for a while now. The question is, is it telling me to leave her to her privacy, or to do the opposite? I am uncertain, and the only way to know for sure what my gut is telling me is to approach this her.
“Excuse me, please forgive me for the interruption. I’m shopping with my wife, that’s her over there. I’m a photographer working on a documentary project… ” I give her the elevator pitch.
She listens quietly, and as I nervously silence myself, ready to receive her I’m not interested, she responds, “You look like a nice Jewish man (well part of me is), I’d be glad to be in your project.”
I’m a little embarrassed by my new friend, Lisa’s, ID of me. But it turns out to be a sweet icebreaker for the two of us. We talk of our Jewish mothers and our shared traditions, and as we do, it is apparent to me that Lisa is connected to something quite special. Her skin and smile radiant with kindness, she has accepted me into her life, and I am honored to stand by her side.
In writing this entry, I have to sidestep in sharing a first; Lisa has already commented on her Facebook about our meeting. A nicety that has completely humbled me, as I have not yet published a word of our meeting. So to fairly represent our experience, I’d like to re-publish some of her words, not for the purpose of self-gratification, but to show the other side of the story. And please know, I am red-faced even sharing her words (especially the sweet-looking man stuff). But here I go anyway.
From Lisa’s Facebook:
“I wanted to share an amazing experience I had tonight! I went to the market for my weekly shop and of course, was in a rush as I am constantly juggling ten things at once. As I rushed through the produce section, I was approached by a sweet-looking man with an iPad and a camera, “Oh No” I thought! Seems we are always being approached by strangers, ‘Free Movie Tickets, Lady?’ ‘Will You Vote For This, Lady?’ I would normally move on, I’m So Sorry, I Need To Pick Up My Child! I would utter as I rushed off. Somehow, this stranger held me spellbound! He explained to me that he had a goal.“The Goal, every day for an entire year, approach one stranger, photograph them, and blog the experience. He simply asked me two questions, ‘If you could give a single message to the world, what would it be?’ and ‘Where would you like to see the world in 5 or 10 years?’ I found this man so incredibly interesting that we stood there and chatted for 20 minutes about life, love, family, karma, world peace, and spirituality! I have always said that everything happens for a reason and nobody is a stranger!”
My thoughts in approaching Lisa were purely to ask for her perspectives per the ongoing story I am publishing; and, to have received such a response so openly published by her, only lengthened my commitment for reaching out to strangers, as well as the love for the world around me I am growing. So again, in letting you read Lisa’s impression of me, my aim is not to pat myself on the back, but to allow us a view to considering the opposite perspectives of what others see in us. In that, perhaps motivation that all of us can grasp in realizing the impact we each have on one another; even in the most basic exchanges. As Lisa says, “Everything happens for a reason and nobody is a stranger!
“I grew up in a mixed religion home.” Lisa shares, “My Dad was Christian and my Mom Jewish. It was hard, and through this, I discovered my true spirituality. Not any particular religion. Just the realization that God is God.”
There we were, two strangers to each other surrounded by produce and on-lookers as, for twenty-minutes, we chatted like old friends. The depths of what we talked of emotional and personal, and for the sake of giving you a break from my rantings, and to further open to you the counsel of Lisa, I’ll simply pull a few more quotes from her Facebook:
“In the end, what will matter is how much we loved ~ our children, our mates, our families, our friends, everyone we knew, everyone who traveled with us during our brief visit to this unbearably lovely place. What will matter is the good we did, not the good we expected others to do.”
“Recognizing, accepting, and expressing our authentic interior reality lies at the heart of honesty; only when we are honest with ourselves can we speak honestly with anyone else. In the sense of integrity, honesty entails acting in line with higher laws despite negative impulses to the contrary.”
She quotes, “Tell me what you know and you will entertain me, but tell me how you feel and you will intrigue me.” Her hope for what’s to come, “I wish for a future where people are more highly evolved. A world where more connect as a whole at a spiritual level, rid of oppression, war and contention, and a people able to connect regardless of religion.”
Lisa, you have told me how you feel, and have captured me with your kind words. I must say, I am forever touched, and the gift you have given me is endless. The knowledge and permission to call you Friend. And per your wise and open encouragement, may I quote you once more. I think you are right on point in your suggestion of how we should look at the world around us. For as you say, “Nobody is a stranger!”
Day 142: Just Livevil
“It’s perfectly sane to go mad in order to understand.”
“Lookout! A creepy guy is stalking the neighborhood! Why has he parked his car on the street? And what’s with his sidewalk pacing? Let’s stay away from him, I think he’s a serial killer!”
First impressions are a misleading thing, and the above is far from the truth, or at least I hope. You see, the identity of the stalker is… well… me.
And how do I know the way others are viewing me, I’m told by my stranger-now-friend of today, poet and admitted alcoholic, J.J.
A judgment call, that after ten minutes or so of conversation, quietly dissipates, but for now, and in sensitivity to J.J, I must address the bomb I just dropped in describing J.J (that being, his admission of being an alcoholic).
Yes, J.J drinks to excess, and he knows it. Tells me that at the very beginning of our getting to know each other.
Why?
How many of you saw the documentary “Super Size Me?” In it, Filmmaker Morgan Spurlock, committed to living solely off a diet of supersized McDonalds for an extended period of time, and it almost killed him. Not in a figurative sense, literally. It almost put him in the grave.
The results of his sacrifice? A documentary that changed the way American’s look at fast food and the business model behind it. And per J.J, seems he has modeled a similar project focusing on the effects of alcoholism. He quotes, “It’s very difficult, I’ve been writing every day as to the effects of my drinking, my goal is to write a book.”
I have to ask, “How far are you into this?”
Now, I’m not sure how long J.J has been drinking, but per the project, he tells me, “I’m three weeks in, and am now weaning myself off the alcohol. It hurts, every morning I wake up with the shakes, (he holds his hand out… steady) and (reaching for a bottle) I have to drink something to settle them.”
J.J does not want to be featured with a photograph, yet he has invited me into his home for an interview. A little sketchy for each of us at first. After all, I am the creepy guy from the street and he is the edgy looking alcoholic. Plus, his home being starkly protected behind a gate and a snarling dog, has me very aware and a little leery at first, yet there seems to be a united purpose in our meeting, and I feel it is not by chance.
Earlier I mentioned that J.J is a poet. Something he tells me before we enter his home. The result of my extending an offer to publish his poetry. He is flattered, and before we enter his room, he shares a few of his memorized writings with me.
LIVE
Whichever way you may live
From beginning to the end, end to the beginning, or from the middle to the ends;
Just LIVEVIL
LOVE
I’ve been hemmed in by your fine silk.
Prey to the black widow.
The more I struggle to be released;
I’m consumed and cease to exist.
Right off the bat, I see J.J is a deep character, a man of contrast and dark secrets. Secrets that I do not pry to know in respecting his boundaries. But still, we find common ground in opening up in sharing personal perspectives. We entrust each other with life stories, and as we do our trust deepens.
The point is simply this, we all have phantoms in our closets, and for any one of us to deny each other the opportunity to face them would be a great disservice to that person. If there is one thing this journey is constantly teaching me it would be this, I’m blown away by the healing power of simply reaching out.
Even though both J.J and I are very cautious at first, we feel we are supposed to be talking. He was brave in allowing me into his life and I was growing as a person as I received his words. As a result, two more humans are now aware of each other and you are reading JJ’s poetry. But before I give you more of J.J’s writings, I must share with you his words of counsel to us, “Be one with everyone… Energy is never destroyed or created.”
J.J is calm and reserved, almost Zen-like. So much so I can’t help but ask, “Are you always this calm?”
“Not always,” he says. Yet in his delivery, there is peace and intent.
He tells me of his troubles sleeping, his active mind, and the pains of a recent break-up between his girlfriend and himself. And in the middle of it all, J.J challenges me, “Why am I telling you this, tell me something about yourself?”
I do as he asks, and the level of our trust expands.
“Be one with everyone.
Energy is never
destroyed or created.”
“I have trust issues,” he shares with me. “Thank you,” he says, and as he is breaking this to me, I feel a little more in tune with J.J. It’s been a relatively short time, but somehow the two of us are able to drop our walls to a comfortable and mutual level of openness. Perhaps we could dig further in sharing more of our characters, but rightfully so, we both refrain from pushing too far… too fast… too trusting. After all, we just met on the street, and remember I’m the scary pacing dude.
He turns away from me, leaves me sitting on the hard wooden chair in which he has offered me (by the way, did not tell you he had closed the door to the room we were in). So as I sat very aware of my surroundings (thinking maybe I’ve been naive in my assessments), he goes to his computer, opens it up, and begins to read me his poetry.
BLACK
Mourning from night to morning.
I toss, turn, feel the burn.
Yearn to learn the truth.
During the day it stays away.
Once the black is back I see.
PAIN
The lack of you has made the sky lack hue.
Only darkness to reside.
I wish we could only pull through.
This is for you and only you.
J.J’s writings are composed in multiple languages: Spanish, Italian, Tagalog, and English. And even though influenced by alcohol, his mind is sharp and his attention is focused. J.J is a fascinating man who is certainly battling a demon. And by the looks of it, it just might likely win the war. A thought that sinks my heart. For he is a human and deserving of a good life as any one of us.
My eyes wander his room. My interest transfixed on the North wall, where a set of three Geisha statues stands. He sees where I’m looking. “They are important to me, they represent peace and serenity,” J.J explains. In his demeanor, it is easy to recognize they are key to his presence, like I said, “J.J is calm and, even though intoxicated, his thoughts are sober.”
It takes huge humility to look eye to eye with alcoholism. And whether real or an excuse to justify drinking, J.J is all so obviously fighting to overcome its clenching talons. Yet, there is a light hidden beneath J.J’s dark façade. A hard to see ray that grabbed me at my first sight of him, and one that casts a thought for all to consider, “What phantoms are we not facing in our lives?”
In expected J.J tone, he speaks of the future. Gives us this, “For the future of humanity, unfortunately, it’s not good. It’s going to be a decrepit disillusion of trials.”
A depressing perspective for sure, but I take it as a call to do what I can to fight the darkness. Even motivation to look toward the good of mankind. For I believe and have witnessed by the words of the many I am meeting, that in the middle of darkness, there is always room for one more lamp. And for each one of us, may we do our part in lighting the path of what’s ahead. In the words of J.J and in no particular order.
“Shall we all do our part in lighting the path to a better place.”
“What your definition of perfection won’t be defined until you die.”
“The ability to stay still is a rarity in this world.”
“What would a word be worth… unworthy if words are worthless.”
“There are two kinds of people: sure pass & surpass.”
“I Miss You.
I miss you when you’re not with me.
But also,
Miss you with the thought of you not being with me,
While I miss you.”
“It’s perfectly sane to go mad in order to understand.”
“Give me a good night love before you sleep…or a course with a kiss.
The view of you from above, below in between the seams, is not what it seems.
You are heaven-sent; slightly bent.
The love you give.”
J.J thanks for the trust. Stay moving forward my friend.
Day 70: Clean, Fluffy, and Good Smelling
“I want everyone to have a nice-looking, clean, fluffy, good-smelling dog.”
The words my husband, Richard, sprang on me that morning.
“I’m cheating.” He told me as the dog groomer called to confirm our appointment, “I just couldn’t help myself. I asked her if she would be my interview for the day. How could I do that? I mean, she’s not really a stranger?”
I looked at him for a moment and then launched into my lecture – it went something like this:
TERRI (that’s me): Richard, I think you know that one of my favorite painters is Edward Hopper.
RICHARD: [Nods, bracing himself for an analogy that may or may not have any relevance to his concern about artistic integrity.]
TERRI: Do you know one of the reasons he appeals to me?
RICHARD: [(Thinking) I guess I’m about to find out.]
TERRI: Well, next time you look at a Hopper painting, take a moment to observe the human interaction. You won’t find any. Check out People in the Sun, or Nighthawks — people together, maybe even doing the same thing, but no interaction. His paintings are a commentary on our modern world. A person can live for years in the same home and never even know their next-door neighbor’s name.
RICHARD: Yes! You are so right! (I love it when he says that).
TERRI: Nikki has been grooming our dogs for almost 15 years. Tell me something about her.
RICHARD: She grooms dogs…
TERRI: And…?
RICHARD: … uh, she drives a mobile grooming truck.
TERRI: She’s a stranger to you. You know, sweetheart, perhaps some of the interviews you find are going to be the most obvious, and each of them has a story… just as much as the person you cold-intro yourself to at the airport or on the street.
RICHARD: …will you write my blog for me today?
TERRI: Ya, right! Nice try.
“I go beyond for my customers,”
and the proof is self-evident –
she has so many dedicated customers that it is difficult
for her to fit in newcomers.
Well, here I am, writing his blog. Not because he is lazy or uninspired — but because he is worn-out! Last night, after hanging out with his new fire-spinning friends, he didn’t crawl into bed until almost 3:30 am, followed by a mid-morning conference call, working, shooting, and still needing to interview stranger today, Now, Richard is in great physical shape (teaches spinning 5 times week and mountain bikes some pretty gnarly trails), but he is no longer in his uh… 20s, so by 5 pm he was done. Being the wonderful wife that I am, I took pity on him tonight and offered to write this 70th post.
So, here it is…
Meet today’s Sidewalk Ghost, the lovely Nikki and her dog, Betty.
A professional pet groomer for 18 years, Nikki thinks everyone should love what they do, and it is clear that she lives by her own mantra. “I want everyone to have a nice-looking, clean, fluffy, good-smelling dog.”
Starting her mobile business just two years after completing her training, her father calls her an entrepreneur, but Nikki prefers to think of herself as a perfectionist. For Nikki, it’s not about just getting the dog groomed and out-the-door, it is equally important to her to make the entire grooming experience as pleasant and stress-free as possible for the dog. She is pleased that she is often able to take on a difficult dog that is very resistant or scared of the grooming process and make it bearable for them. She does it for the love of the dogs.
Nikki’s desire for perfection is evident in her craft – she is one of the few dog groomers who use shears (not clippers) to hand-clip the finish work on dogs… OK, at this point I am sure some of you are thinking: “It’s a dog! Clippers. Shears. What difference does it make?”
Well, here’s the difference (those of you who have a dog will know exactly what I’m talking about). Ever have your dog shaved by the vet or an inexperienced groomer for the summer? You barely get in the door and your dog is gone! They are hiding from the world. They know how silly they look. It’s really true. The inverse is true when our Scottish Terrier hides when he hears Nikki’s truck pull up – he hates to be groomed, but believe me when I tell you, he struts around thinking he’s “all that” the minute he steps off her truck. He knows he looks good!
Nikki loves her craft and she takes it seriously; she is good at what she does and the difference is apparent. “I go beyond for my customers,” and the proof is self-evident – she has so many dedicated customers that it is difficult for her to fit in newcomers.
Driving from appointment to appointment, she is accompanied by her own pooch, Betty. A sweet, good-natured, American Bulldog, Betty began life with Nikki first as “Betty-Spaghetti,” and then “Betty White,” but they both agree now that Betty-Boop is the right name for her.
Nikki sees herself “retiring” someday with an expanded business of mobile groomers, allowing her the time to breed American Bull Dogs.
Nikki, thank you! Keep doing what you love and what you do so well. You are an inspiration to all of us.
Richard’s back tomorrow!