yourimpactmatters

Entry 354 told you where I have been for the last couple of days… at a casting session for project I’m producing and shooting this month. Even introduced you to Blanca, casting director turned friend, a very cool lady with a special magnetism about her, evidenced in the way she sees good in all people. I can understand why she does what she does.

Every thing about Blanca’s studio sings of this vibe of acceptance, and after spending time with her and her staff, I very much feel that I have been associating with a group of most hopeful individuals.

The day ends, and as I prepare to leave, I am welcomed into a casual conversation taking place in Blanca’s office. Comfortably seated are the lovely and smiling, Monica (Blanca’s associate) and a stranger I do not know.

Without hesitation they pull me into their conversation, and in joining them, it is apparent business is not the top topic of chatter… that is behind us at day’s end.

I’m like the isolated guy in girl talkland, a place where I am most comfortable, being raised with two sisters, selling women’s shoes in my formative years, and being the beauty portraitist that I am. Truthfully, I’m happier here that at a sporting event or racing in sports cars.

I am quickly brought up to speed. Turns out that the one unknown person, Maria, is here by some spontaneous law of attraction.

It’s like this… Maria just moved here from Spain… Knows Monica from many years passed, has stopped in to casually re-acquaint herself with Monica… and turns out that she and Blanca have too many past interactions to be ignored.

It’s like Maria and Blanca have been in the shadows of each other’s footsteps for well over twenty-five years, neither having any clue of each other’s existence. It’s more than a forced searching for commonalities; we’re talking in the same room stuff, missing each other by literal seconds for two decades… in places and situations all over the world. They now all the same people, have worked in the same dance companies (they are both very talented dancers) and all the while were only inches from each other.

Even the very addition of me to the mix screams of a bazaar peace that says “we are all here for a purpose.” We could talk all night, I know it, and probably would have, if we did not all have scheduled evenings.

To not invite Maria to 365 would be a disservice to us all, and in our conversation is revealed a glimpse of the chi that fills Blanca office this night.

Maria is by no other words a “Chicana Gypsy,” literally, her husband is a Spanish Gypsy and her profession and art for are iconic to her title, Chicana Gypsy she is.

If you had the stage, the microphone was on, and the world was listening, what would you say? We begin our interview.

“About myself personally… or about what I’ve learned,” Maria questions.

“Whatever feels right… organic,” I direct, not wanting to influence her thoughts.

She thinks… breathes… and then says, “’I would just say ‘Thank You!’

I’m grateful for what I do… that would be the word I’d lean to… now in this stage of my life… Thank You.’”

I give a little more direction, “What would you tell the world stage, to help other people in their lives?”

With the grace of a dancer Maria looks beyond herself in addressing her world audience, “To find within themselves something that ignites inspiration.

I do think inspiration could be an overused word, but the actual acting on it is rarely addressed. Inspiration is a key to happiness… But, I think it is dangerous if we look just for happiness. I think contentment is the secret to life satisfaction, and is the truest base for inspiration. Does that make sense?”

“Absolutely…” I unite in reviewing Maria’s word from my perspective, “’I feel what you are saying is that we should not go through life looking for happiness, but we should go through it with our eyes open for inspiration. And that, maybe, inspiration is the key to contentment. Then, if we are content, we can move forward with excitement in finding ultimate happiness.

So happiness is not going out there and saying, ‘I’m going to find something that makes me happy… or, to laugh all the time.’

Happiness is not always laughter. Happiness is peace and freedom through contentment. And, if we are content, we can find honest inspiration.’”

I know, “…Dude… deep thoughts…”

Not really.

Maria responds… “Exactly, it’s all about how we look at life. Happiness then can actually be sadness… if that makes any sense.”

She elaborates, “In life when you find yourself in the moments of reflection; or in the moments when sadness comes visiting; or where there is depression, if we can just call it that; or just the down moments in life we all have that are just a part of living.

And if we can learn to look at these times as something else to learn from, then they can help us to trigger something. That awareness that comes through all the experiences of life, and in whatever they are, they can then become enriching.

Even though it sounds like a negative thing, I have found that embracing the bad times as well as the good, does make me more grateful in general when I reflect on those moments.”

“What about the world ahead of us?” I change direction a bit.

“Just to come from the old cliché… just to come from a place of love.” Maria presents a hopeful light.

“It’s about seeking and giving harmonious love. I am very hopeful that people have more good in them than bad. I’ve always come from that place.”

She gives us an example, “I live in a place…” Maria refers to where she is now living, Spain, “’…I’ve learned culturally and socially it’s literally a place that says, ‘Piensa mal y acertarás’ which means ‘Think wrong and be right.’ I’d like to think that I was born in a place that says, ‘Your innocent until proven guilty.’

‘Think positively until you are proven wrong…’ that’s a good person,’” Maria reframes.

Continuing, “’I guess my point is, if we come from a place of love, and are aware that everybody is the same, and that we all are one. That is what can make a harmonious future.

And you know what…? I don’t think it is science, or discovering anything mysterious, or anything like that. It’s a proven fact that when energies are pulled together on a same plane, miracles can happen.

We are living in a time where it is very scary. There is a lot of chaos; emotionally, psychologically and ecologically.

But then there are a lot of people that want to be more conscious and more giving. We need to hook up to that, and make that the majority rather than the minority.

In the South of Spain… in my community… meaning the Flaminco community, there is a lot of darkness that surrounds it. In order for you to survive, you do have to create a bit of a shell where you say, ‘No… that is not going to penetrate me. I’m not going to allow that to penetrate.’ Because if you give into it, then you become it.

I’m trying to do the opposite… It’s like, ‘No…! you guys riff off of my energy… I’m doing Flaminco and I don’t have to give into the negativity.’

Yes, I can be as competitive as the biggest competitors… I will, and I’ll meet you out on the street any day, and any time, to compete with my art. But from the best sense of it.

If we live our lives like that, It doesn’t mean we have to go through life with rose-colored glasses. There is reality and things we have to deal with.

I also believe, ‘Si usted cree enDios (If you believe in God)’ or whatever the religion is, or none.’”

“Take care of yourself first…” Maria talks of relationships with a higher power and the importance of not focusing on the things of the world,  “…then that spirit will, hopefully transmit to you, and through you, to others.”

This is why I have been magnetized into our time together this day, Maria is a giver of light.

Sure, she is passionate about her craft and speaks of the importance of inspired art. And yes, Maria is a powerful and captivating performer working in a very competitive, and at times brutal artistic culture. But, in doing so she stands strong to a greater purpose. To re-quote her, “Its about seeking and giving harmonious love. I am very hopeful that people have more good in them than bad. I’ve always come from that place.”

Maria backs her words with actions. For after twenty-plus years living in Spain she says, “I’ve finished that cycle, I know it in my heart, that is why I am here.”

“I call it returning to my base,” she explains.

“I knew it was time for a change… and now everything is starting to bubble again!”

Maria has been on stages all over the world: Hollywood Bowl, The Lincoln Center, The Ford Amphitheater, Bellas Artis, Basel, Eicharus and an endless list of equally substantial venues.

Here is a link to her EPK: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BXh6fiM4Uu8

If you want to support her in purchasing her latest single, Tequila – Here is a link.

The sidewalks of trendy Melrose Boulevard pass under my Old Navy flip-flops as I race to beat the last pulses of ‘Don’t Walk” blinks of red signage. But traffic signals warnings, scare me not, I’m an edgy guy in an edgy neighborhood. So I’ll be cool. I’ll and show the world how  plus 50 years of suburban radical dude I am, time to J-walk… I’m living on the edge baby!

“Sure you are Radstone! You’re the Axl Rose of pedestrian violations, and your vibe is chill!”

“Yep, I’m the real deal…” Not!!

The reality is that I probably look more like the poster dude for some conservative save suburbia campaign. And in strutting with the obvious appearance of “Who is that country dwelling dad over there?” I’m sure I’m not turning too many heads.

Up the curb I step, all the while peaking for that bored traffic officer who is just itching to write any ticket that will break the monotony of his day, and pay for some taxable fix it. Perhaps the daylight tax.

I’m safe, the coast is clear and no red light running car has taken me out. I ramp up my speed,and a I dare to challenge the next intersection, in my left ear rings the words, “F… Yes!” (Sorry, I use the dots; have to in keeping my PG-13 rating).

Yet as aggressive as the choice of words are, they sink into my head with a softness that strikes me curious. At first I ignore the impulse to engage in conversation, striding past the author of the expressive language just dodged. My subconscious justifies, “Don’t bother them,” but really it is an excuse to support my intimidation of my unknown stranger, a lady who truly has earned the right to bear the title edgy.

I take a few more steps; “You hypocrite!” starts to fester in my head. “How can you speak of not making assumptions about anyone and even entertain a though of being intimidated without knowing the whole story.”

I take heed and reverse my direction.

“Hi my name is Richard… I am a photographer and have challenged myself to… bla… bla…bla,” I humble up in telling of myself and of 365.

Her name is Stephanie, and, supporting the words that polarized me in intimidation and curiosity, is the heart of a Doll.

Why did Stephanie choose her radiating vocabulary?

The answer… to make a friend feel better.

I failed to tell you she is not alone, as she is standing with a friend.

Stephanie gives me the scoop, “’He was having a bad day, and was in a down mood. So I gave him a piece of gum. ‘It’s juicy…’ I told him, ‘…and gum always makes you feel better.’ He took it, started to chew, smiled at me and said,  ‘F… Yes!

That is when you walked up.’”

Now if I would have ignored the impulse to stop in reaching out, I would have missed out on spending time with a very special lady; who once understood, is nowhere near unapproachable or edgy.

My words of wisdom for the world, Stephanie proposes. “Like you heard as you walked by… F… yes!

People need to live for those moments, to be themselves, and to not try to be anybody else. The world is full of crazy and insane people… live for the F… yes moments! That’s what’s going to make the world go around.”

How cool is this, Stephanie, her friend and myself, strangers now friends, standing in an area that quite possibly can be categorized and exclusionary to many. But in our time together we talk of unity, respect and of the importance in honoring each other in looking beyond the exterior.

“I’d like to see us steer towards open-mindedness…” Stephanie dreams as she talks from personal experience. “…Being a young female… being completely tattooed, I have received so many different responses.

I just moved here from Iowa… and in Iowa… everything is conservative. Every comment I got was negative and hurtful. So being here, I’m accepted… I’m beautiful… I’m not a masochist… or whatever.

I would like to see the world, in the future, being more open-minded. I don’t mean to go into politics, but not having Republicans… and not having Democrats, and not having the feuds. Just being accepting of shit the way it is.

People need to stop trying to control everything… it ‘s not making anything better. We need to live for the F… yes moments!

We have to realize that everybody goes through something… and that life itself is a beautiful thing.”

Stephanie you have given us much to consider, and in supporting your council, I am going to bridge into the next phase of 365, a call to action for the 2013 chapter of our evolution: Awake and Unite!

We are on the cusp of forming an amazing global community, so stay close my friends… we are only just beginning our journey.

A little behind the scenes Hollywood excitement for you today, or better introduced, dispelling the myths of industry glam.

Casting for an ad shoot I’m doing in September is on the agenda, and stuffed with chocolate chip cookies and fruit I sit in meeting a variety of theatrical characters as they appeal to the court of video capture.

Hurry up and wait is the theme of the day as aspiring actors arrive in clusters between the calm of, cool one more cookie.

So I sit here, sugar rushing between waves of similar expressions, engaging in conversation with Blanca, proprietor and exceptional casting director, talking of a range of subjects, but in all one beat of chat strikes to the core of what 365 is all about.

“I just got back from Turkey,” Blanca tells of her travels, and well-traveled she is, Asia, Europe, South America, Central America, the Caribbean, all of the United States (including, Hawaii, Alaska, and yes, Oklahoma).

“’I would tell the world to be open about people we meet every day. Once you meet the person, it’s like a big surprise… and you never know whom you going to meet. And, once you start talking to them, you can find out whom they really are. People are amazing.

I believe we should all give people a chance. My husband says I’m too friendly. Some people say, just ignore them. For me it is just the opposite, I think if I make eye contact, it says, ‘Look, I acknowledge you.’ Whether you are a jerk, or not, I’m saying, ‘Hey life is not that bad.’ Whereas they are going to come and attack me anyway… well what are you going to do.’”

We talk more about her recent visit in Europe and the from feelings her time abroad

“We here a lot about the ugly American’s, those who expect the world to speak their language. I don’t look at it that way. Wherever we are we are still all strangers, and a smile opens the world up.

Hello is a powerful word in all languages. And when we travel we need to learn it in the language of where we are, it say, we are in your house.

I’ve traveled a lot and I know if make an attempt to communicate, the world opens up to you.

People are amazing, Blanca warmly reaffirms as she shares her council for the future, “Live life.”

We have today, … but we don’t have tomorrow… and too many people wait for retirement to live it.”

“With every pair you purchase, TOMS will give a pair of new shoes to a child in need. One for One.”

No… I have not been paid by any evil empire to commercialize 365, but you have to admit that TOMS is founding a business model on principles greater than that of the bottom line.

Plus, I have a little inside scoop on the company, which by the way, positions themselves as a movement, when in a coincidence of timing connected me with one of it’ founding members. Katie (not pictured) is her name, and when, several years ago, I photographed her, she left a grand impression in my mind, one that to this day has been a reference to me in my own personal decision-making. I’ve never told Katie this, and I hope she reads this blog.

The seed she planted led me to self examine my creative purpose and pushed me to embark on projects the likes of Seven and 40something. Two endeavors that have been core to shaping my perspective in building the 365 project, soon to become a movement in it’s own sphere (I hope you stay with us as we grow).

I tell you of Katie because her name comes up in my conversation with today’s stranger now friend, Jasmine.

I’ll not say that my meeting of Jasmine is by chance or by reason, those are both weighty concepts that we have discussed many a time and with a variety of our 365 friends. And again, being slammed in keeping several projects going this month, I’ll pass on pontificating too much about the laws of attraction.

All that I know is that on a random walk of a busy thoroughfare, in a city of almost ten million people… Los Angeles, with all its diversity and staggering scale, I am pulled to speak with Jasmine.

“I’m always smiling no matter what… It just brightens someone’s day.” She tells me as she encourages me to reach out, “…Like when you see someone who is blank… you just smile at them and they smile right back to you.”

But it’s more than her smile that draw me in, she is connected in a way that is remarkable and her no ownership in claiming her advice position touches my heart. “’Like Mother Teresa quoted, ‘Peace begins with a smile,’” Jasmine credits.

“What about the TOMS thing? Richard.”

Oh yeah… sorry guys… did not mean to wander. Jasmine works at TOMS. And in her eyes I can tell that her life is dedicated to helping others. You can just feel it in the air in talking with her.

As we speak, up walks, Simona, friend of Jasmine. “I’m going to school in New York, and we haven’t seen each other is two years” Simona reveals as Jasmine and I chat.

Yet here I stand, linked to Jasmine by some act of fate by our both knowing Katie. No big deal in a small community, but like I said… LA is huge.

And now, and the trail lengthens in meeting Simona (who by the way is also dedicating her life to people helping in choosing a career as in the medical profession).

I throw myself to the court in telling Simona of 365, kind of a hard thing to do while being surrounded by the joy of separated friends united. I’d be a liar if I told you I did not feel little out-of-place in feeling as if have intruded into a sacred moment. But with energy and charm, Simona too agrees to contribute.

“Wow, I feel like I am being interviewed for a broadcast, those are big questions,” Simona pauses in smiling with Jasmine.

“I have not though about the next one–hundred years,” she positions.

“What about in the now?” I inquire.

With a thoughtful tone, Jasmine replies, “To get to anything good, or to achieve a goal that you want… take it one step at a time.”

Jasmine grabs the reigns, “’Live in the now… day by day, and be positive.

You never know… stuff happens in life. But you’ve just got to keep going, and always have a positive outlook on life. Because if you’re thinking that you are depressed, or you are negative, then that is what you are going to believe. And, if you think positive… ‘I’m going to get through this,’ or whatever, you will grow.

I think it is through the challenges that we go through that we get stronger.

People ask, ‘Why is this happening to me?’ But, we have to go through them to become persons that we are.’”

I’ve taken far too much of my new friends reunion time, and with fond farewells I leave my new friends to catch up.

I know I’m stretching a bit in sharing my take away. But here it goes anyway. I’ll own the notion that it was through the meeting of Katie, many years ago, that I am, on this particular day, directed to Jasmine in gaining a perspective.

A perspective that I will shamelessly steal from the TOMS business model in comparing it the global footprint that I dream 365 will become: The vision is simply this, People connecting with people, not necessarily as close friends, that is unrealistic. But what is my hope, is that in this age of awareness and oversaturation of mind, body and spirit, that as a whole, we as a human race can learn to better respect of one another… any place… any time… and for any reason.

In taking a bit of liberty, I’ll slightly borrow from the words of TOMS: “One for One Movement.”

Let’s reframe, and for our purpose in label it: “One to One Movement.”

TOMS, I mean no disrespect in borrowing your words, and I promise they will not become any part in promoting our expanding 365 community; I merely share them in the greatest respect to what you are doing.

Chin up and eyes open to the world is our charge, and Jasmine, Simona, thank you for your open eye-lines in accepting my smile.

Like Jasmine references in quoting Mother Teresa, “Peace begins with a smile.”

Talk tomorrow friends.

I never fully get the opportunity to ask Sandy the two 365 questions, there is just no time for it as the clock begins to turn close to the 4:00pm mark.

It’s been a very eventful day.

6:15am: Load car with luggage.

6:30am: Begin first leg of rush hour traffic.

7:45am: Drop wife and daughter at airport (They are flying to visit my sister-in-law who has had her first baby).

7:48am: Begin second leg of rush hour traffic.

7:50am: Hit zero miles an hour traffic.

7:51am: Begin circle of thought… curse the sky, relax, curse the sky, relax, curse…

8:00am: Lock eyes with stranger in car next to me as she giggles at my talking to myself.

8:01am: Regain composure.

8:30am: Call gym to let them know where I am and to tell class to not kill me.

8:50am: Arrive spinning room to begin teaching my 8:30am class.

8:50am: Beg for forgiveness.

8:50am to 9:50am: Sweat like a peddling dog.

10:00am: Conference call with my producer.

11:00am: Shower (Finally).

12:00pm: Conference call with my producer.

12:45pm: Finally eat (my body is eating itself after high intensity morning bike ride).

1:30pm: Conference call with my producer and our client.

3:00pm: Go to mall to meet friend.

3:30pm: Begin wandering mall.

3:45pm: Meet Sandy (finally get to sit for a relaxed moment with a new friend).

4:00pm: Select and upload photos to blog.

4:15pm: Begin writing while talking to a new friend who is sharing a Wi-Fi seeing table with me.

4:33pm: Oh! That’s now.

Per Sandy, he is gracious, warm personality, seventy-six years young and a man who welcomes me as if in his living room. Our conversation is open and life revealing. Things like marrying his wife after only knowing her for ten days, of their forty-seven years of happy marriage, their three children and of his years of service to his community.

“When I look back on my life…” Sandy reflects, “… I can sleep at night knowing that I have touched a lot of people.” Something that he gives a great deal of acknowledgement to his wife in helping him to become the man he is.

What really strikes me about Sandy is that he takes no glory in his accomplishments. He does not proclaim of any grand power, other than in the admiration and respect he demonstrates in crediting others before himself.

4:40pm: Want to write more about the lessons in humility that Sandy has just taught me. But in not wanting to miss our time stamp, I’ll let him speak for himself.

“’If somebody says hello to you, don’t just say ‘I’m fine.’ That is kind of a cop-out. Nobody is really going to say; ‘I’m not feeling very good today’ are they? But, what I recommend the answer be, ‘I’m grateful.’ That is a very powerful answer.

I’ll always remember my junior high basketball coach. He taught me something that I transferred into different wording when I coached some junior high basketball. I volunteered for seventeen years and I always tried to teach my kids that if they lived by this saying, they would have a good life. That saying, ‘Attitude is the best aptitude in anything that they do.’”

4:50pm: Must upload; talk tomorrow friends, and Sandy… thanks for calming my day.

It’s been quite an interesting week… my business is busier than ever, my commitment to 365 is not faltering, and despite the emotional hit I took from the lack of attendance at our Ping Pong Council of Saturday past, the opportunity to meet like minded people has not eluded me.

Another unexplainable few days have passed, where contrary to any profiled effort on my part, 365 has somehow grabbed my arm in carrying me towards people who all share a similar perspective as well as wishes for a closer world.

New friends who are actively participating in sharing my message within their own networks, and friends who present the finest acts of solidarity in halting their agendas in making time to talk with us.

Today deviates in no way from the same path in spending time with our new friend, Kay, boyfriend of yesterday’s stranger now friend, Vanessa.

I’ll admit I cheated a little in my approach to offering Kay our 365 questions. You see, having very briefly met him yesterday, actually more of a passing of a business card as Vanessa and I concluded our chat; I invited Kay to 365 in promising to email him our questions…

…There was no way around it… and even though I was extremely late in getting home for family reasons, there was something about Kay that would not let me pass by on an opportunity to speak further with him. The voice in my head would not silence in ignoring Kay (Oh, no…! Richard…! Not the voices in your head thing again… your not going psychotic on us… are you?).

No I’m as sane as every, but what can I say, when my brainwaves kick in, I just listen and do as they tell.

And in this instance, the muffled screaming in my cerebral cortex is one hundred percent on target in inspiring me to reach out to a young man of great substance.

Here is what Kay write to us, “’Strive to be the best person you can be, not only for yourself, but for those around you as well. Culture is how we choose to identify ourselves and where we come from, it gives us a perspective of life that is unique and distinct to our own. Often times in the process of maintaining our cultural beliefs, we tend disregard other cultural perspectives instead of embracing them for their own.

Aldous Huxley once wrote that, ‘[w]e live together, we act on, and react to, one another; but always in all circumstances we are by ourselves.’ So, to answer the second part of the question I believe in regards to the future, we should continue to move forward in bringing people closer together in this world. By putting differences aside and encouraging cooperation and compassion the possibilities are endless. In the beginning of human existence, groups of people that banned together and cooperated with one another developed languages, those who created larger groups of people created better language systems. I believe this can be applied to our collaborative progress towards the future.’”

All this is in my mind as I knock at the door of Kay’s parents house, our agreed meeting place. And once my knees stop shaking from the friendly greeting of the family German Shepherd (perhaps I was a little to aggressive in patting my new K9 friend on the head… my bad), Kay and I grab a living room couch for a little more personal conversation.

It does not take me long to understand how Kay has found the inspiration for his well-constructed words. Kay has lived a life of what he preaches: a first generation American… hailing from Iran, a Bachelors degree in Global and International Relations and a well-stamped passport in traveling the globe during his studies. China, Europe, The Middle East and South America are the places where Kay sharpened his chops of humanity.

So we sit and casually chat, and less a break in meeting his brothers upon their arrival home (two guys equally at peace with their surroundings) Kay and I speak of the cultural climate of our now world. And as we do, it is impossible for me to make relevant notes to explain the depth of Kay’s outlook as he calls himself a realist. A point of view that he respectfully credits to the example his father has set for him, “My Father is a Lawyer, and he taught me to have an analytical mind.”

Kay is fascinating in his analysis of society, crafting a blend of real life experience with the sensitivity of an artists mind. There is only one way I can encapsulate what he says, my mind is just to slow to keep up, maybe due to a restless night of sleep after submitting to trade beds with my daughter, when she wake me saying, “Dad, my bed is uncomfortable, I cant sleep.”

I switch rooms with her and pay my dues; as a result, today I’m a bit fried. I guess I owe my kid a new bed. The mattress is just not cutting it anymore.

“What is the point of that Segway?” you ask.

Well… It was shamefully easy for me to dismiss the requests for a new mattress. I even reasoned in getting her a memory pad as a topper to the bed she has. But after my own rest deprived night… I get it now.

Kay calls it empathy, something that he briefly refers to in our conversation. Hearing it charges me to invite Kay to compose one more email in refining his points. Here is what he sends.

“Just to expand on what I was saying. To me, personal liberty is crucial for human progression in today’s world. If people are less concerned about themselves… then there can be room for empathy to help others that don’t have the luxury of self-expression. Those less fortunate need to know that there are success stories of people who have triumphed against the odds, simply because they had the capacity to do so. Personal liberty to me is optimal of human abilities and possibilities.

Hope that works, it’s been a real pleasure Richard.” Kay wraps his email.

I know… A hard mattress example is feeble compared to the global perspective in which Kay refers. But the habit of understanding has to start somewhere, and for me (at least last night) it was to listen to my kid’s request with a sincere heart.

Bottom she was right… her bed provides a terrible nights sleep…  maybe even a contributor to the moodiness she has been demonstrating for a few weeks. No, I’m not being a martyr in publically beating myself; she is turning out to be a pretty good kid, she just wants, and deserves, a better bed.

But via this campy admission I have intent; that is to water the seeds that Kay has planted… As personal as my reference is… one global call to action is revealed.

“If people are less concerned about themselves then there can be room for empathy,” Kay charges in gathering us to duty.

“Help others that don’t have the luxury of self-expression,” he expands.

And if we do, Kay promises a result greater than our own self-gratification or a regretful dismissal of felt emotions, “Those less fortunate need to know that there are success stories,” Kay applauds, “People who have triumphed against the odds, simply because they had the capacity to do so.

And for a little more intellectual fodder to contemplate, Kay leaves us this. “Personal liberty to me is optimal of human abilities and possibilities.”

Kay, I’m sure we will be speaking again, my friend.

You may remember Betsy of day sixty-three, a really cool lady and the art teacher of my daughter. Not only is she sincere in her collaboration with the world, she is a very talented artist who since our meeting, has embarked on her own 365 day blog commitment in hitting her over 180 day mark this month: The Pinups of Betsy VanDeusen.

I have a lot of respect for Betsy, so when yesterday in popping a head into the studio at where she teaches, she suggests that I interview her teaching colleague, I hesitate not in returning today to inquire of recommended stranger now friend, Vanessa.

Vanessa has an infectious laugh and a charming personality. It is quickly apparent why she has dedicated her life to the teaching of our future generation.

Vanessa truly cares our children and the world they will be stepping into, a fact that can be absorbed in every words she shares.

“Can I give advice about anything?” Vanessa inquires.

“Absolutely, the microphone is yours,” I smile.

Vanessa responds with an enchanting charisma. “’I’ll hand down some advice that I read in a book, it is called ‘The Last Lecture.’

Basically it talks about people making promised that they make, and what to believe from people… what they tell you.

The advice was to judge a person not by what they say… but by their actions.

I take that with everything that I do. People can say anything… it is easier to say than to do. And when someone does something it really proves they’re character and it proves the type of person that they are.’”

We talk of the world to come.

“When I think about the future,” Vanessa positions, “…I mainly think about having kids and of the future I want them to have. I think about the kind of world that they will be living in, and how it will shape them in who they are later on.

And when I think about it… probably ten years from now when I have kids… I question what the world will by like? And I think there will probably be some kind of progression of disconnection between people… I see it happening now and I don’t see it improving. I think that disconnection has something to do with technology, even though the point of technology is to connect people in other ways. But, a lot of the times people forget how to really connect with other people on a personal level.

I work at a middle school and I see kids with information at their fingertips. It is so easy for them to get information than when I was younger when you had to actually go to the library and look up books. I remember that is what research was like for me. It astounds me how kids want to know it now… and how they will find a way to get it now.

It is important, especially for kids, to learn how to do it old school, to go to a library and to look something up… to put down the technology for just a minute… and just remember what it should be like… and to remember how we did it back then.

It’s good know technology and to be current, because it does do so much good. But we have to know it all. And with kids, the more they know the better they are… it never hurts to know the traditional stuff.

Technology is not the only solution; we need to learn how to overcome things without getting lost in it.”

Vanessa talks of kids who she takes to the library and of how they don’t know the basics of using a table of contents or an index.

“It really surprises me, it not that hard.” she says in reciting the encouragement she gives to her students.

And with this I give you her words, they go like this, “Come on… you can do this… figure it out.”

I’m shutting down my web browser now… there are a lot of books upstairs and I’m off to search for a good chapter.

Talk tomorrow friends, and by the way, I still own you a report on the Ping Pong Council.

You know, I a little speechless in writing today… strange to say, but true. Seventeen days left of 365 and the emotions I am feeling are sublime.  Some mornings I wake looking forward to a day off from writing, yet on others… almost a tear drawing mood encapsulates me in not wanting to see the end of such a life changing experiment; one that has changed my outlook on the world in more ways than I can explain in a quick blog entry.

365 has been a journey that has defined the way I will be approaching the next chapter of my life. A chapter that will be visible to you all, and a commitment to do what I can to make a difference in whatever way I can. Many of you, through your comments, have proven to me that there is great hope for mankind. And it is your acceptance of my 365 message, “We are all in this thing together,” that has never failed to push me forward in doing what I can to connect us all.

The countdown is on, and our one-year anniversary is so very near, September 9^th to be exact; a day that I have anticipated since the inception of 365 and a Sunday that will mark the beginning of the next phase of our uniting outreach. I’m putting my final touches on exactly what the next steps are, but I promise to bring you up to speed shortly after the 9^th.

You have proven to me that there are far too many of us who are doing the works: In thoughts, in deeds and in outlook towards each other.

No better to example this finding than in the words of today’s friends, Mike and his lovely British wife, Nina, both of whom radiate a certain kind of acceptance of 365’s campaign for unity, in very short and succinct words of advice.

Nina:
“My words of wisdom if everybody were listening…? This too will pass, because everything is transient in life… This too will pass.”

Michael:
“I wrote this about you originally…” Michael looks at Nina, crediting her for his inspiration, “…She who dies with the most love… wins.”

I’ll not blab on in asking you to reflect upon what this loving couple is saying. And in their predictions of the future, again, both Nina and Michael stay true to their hopes for a more connected people.

Nina:
“…Kindness… I hope the world is heading in that direction. I want the planet to be kinder… Kinder to each other… kinder to the planet, it’s the only way things can progress forward.”

Michael:
“When people see that happiness and wellbeing are our natural state… we are born happy. Then all the things that are out in the world that we are trying to get, and are messing up the world, they will fade. There is a kindness to this design.”

I must go… the Ping Pong Council is starting in less than thirty minutes. Not sure if anyone is showing up… worst case scenario… I’ll get a few games of pong with my daughter. That in itself is cause for joy. Sorry to be a mushy dad. But by now you probably have realized that my book is pretty open.

Yet, I know that I will be taking with me the seeds planted this day by our sweet friends of day 349.

Nina, Michael, thank you for your kindness, and your words of the same… you have directed us onto the right path.

Take care my friends.

AND TODAY IS THE DAY… THE PING PONG COUNCIL… HOPE TO SEE YOU THERE!

On Saturday, August 25 (that’s today), between the hours of 3:00pm and 7:00pm, let’s get as many Angeleno’s as we can to play a few rounds of Table Tennis at Vahid’s club. It’s not the expensive, $7 each and I’m sure will prove to be a lot of fun.

I see two things that can come from it. One: A great opportunity to share thoughts and witness just how in common we all are, and Two: to help a deserving dude get his business off the ground. And in either I see no downside.

So friends within commuting distance of Vahid’s “Table Tennis Club” we look forward to seeing you at the tables.

Table Tennis Club
21911 Sherman Way
Canoga Park, California 91303

Click for the full story

I call him a gentle giant. He smiles graciously as we share a few minutes together as he waits for his wife to conclude a doctor’s appointment.

It would have been easy for me to judge, to profile, to make assumptions to the intent of my new friend Michael, as he sits ominously under the shade of a tree. His sheer stature taking a dominant section of city bench.

But to make any assumption is not my job, or a burden that I wish to carry. 365 has taught me to see the world for what it is. A surface covered with frail people. People who, in majority, are unknowingly deeply united with a unanimous want to be loved, appreciated and respected for who they are; or in difficult cases, who they were, or even want to become. Definitely, it is not any one of our duties to cast ourselves as judge, jury and prosecutor.

Sure, I’ve just rebounded from an expected flurry of rejections in course to meeting Michael. Even a little shaken as I approach him in not really wanting to receive another deflating brush off. But here is the thing, in every face turned away from me this day; I know that deep in my heart, I’ve done my by best to keep my intent pure. That in itself is the greatest healer to any esteem hit that I have taken over the course of 365s stranger meeting experiment.

Now I’m not saying that I a master of Zen by any means. I’m as mortal as any of us. Just as suspect to projecting the negative as well as the positive; and yes, my emotions run away the same as, I guess, it does for many of us. They key though is keeping our internal dialogue in check. Hard to do, but I promise, the rewards are great. The amazing lesson taught to me by the hundreds of individuals I have met over the last year.

So it is with this subtext that I reach out to Michael in approaching him under his shaded rescue from the heat of the early afternoon sun. No malice to hurt, no judgmental finger pointed, nor any agenda other than wanting to meet another human for who they are.

Upon my introduction, Michael is reserved, yet in his held back caution, I see an open mind. “It’s always a little scary approaching stranger,” I expose in my summation of 365 and in opening my perspectives to him.

Michael thinks for beat, “Yeh… I’ll do it.” He invites me to take seat beside him in our sanctuary of traffic noised shade.

As we talk, and despite the occasional thunder of passing trucks, we find our time together is rather peaceful. And even though we are further besieged by the hum of the continued pulse of smaller moving vehicles, Michael give’s his opening advice to the world, “I’d tell everybody to treat each other like you want to be treated.

There are a lot of different people in the world, but still we are cut from the same cloth… We’re people… We’re human. It’s not about ethnicity… even though the world sees it that way. But I don’t see it that way.”

An eighteen-wheeler thunders by… shaking the ground a little.

A brief pause and Michael picks up where he left off, “I think we’d live in a whole much better world if people would just take the time and hear what the next person’s got to say… and to pass something on that is good if they do have something to say.”

Michael speaks of his observations of society, “You have people that are here for one reason or another. For whatever they think they may stand for… or what they might do… or something like that…

…I find today that a lot of people are unapproachable… but still, there are a lot of people who are approachable.

I’m no individual to judge, but you can pretty much see the good from the bad, and sometimes I miss a call: The person that you think is bad, is not… and the person you think is good, is actually bad. It all depends on how well you get to know the individual and what they are going through.”

Therein the wisdom in Michael’s eye’s is revealed. My take on what he is challenging us to do… We need to at least be open in getting to know the people around us, not judging, and surely not attacking. It’s like that “I can put my head on the pillow and sleep tonight” feeling. The knowledge of day well spent in not carrying malice home to dream about.

It all depends on how well you get to know the individual and what they are going through,” Michael points out.

We have no idea of what is inside a person at first glance. What appears as dismissible intolerance could actually be feelings of loss, despair or lowliness. Or, the grasping sound of ecstatic laughter could be a shroud in escaping any range of hidden hurts. There is no absolute answer to being able to know of any deep experience that any one of us is going through, but we can at least look at each other with compassion and inquiring minds.

I’m not saying that we have to be saviors to the world, just open to taking an extra second in governing our mind waves as we view of all that we meet or pass by.

This is an exercise that I do from time to time, I tell myself, “They were once infants, just like all of us, what happened to them to make them who they are?”

And as Michael has brought to our attention, “We have no idea of what they have gone through, or are going through.”

“People seem to be disconnected today…” Michael suggests,  “… and a lot of it has to do with technology.

You walk and you see a lot of young kids… they have headphones on, and they’re really not paying attention to their surroundings. They are looking up… they are looking down at their phone screens, or texting.

To me it seems that if we keep heading in that direction, we are going to fall out of touch with the real value of human socialness. And if it keeps going like it is… people are just going to fall out of touch with each other.

People are not aware of their surroundings, and I don’t think they really care. It’s all about right now… they are not looking into the future.

I don’t see a real good future for us… that is in the next twenty years or so. I would hope things would change or get better… but I don’t know?

People don’t talk anymore… really talk! You know… try to see where you are coming from.

The way I look at it… the Internet, the iPhones, the iPads… even with them, everyone is disconnected.”

My only words to Michael, “You’re not alone, my friend.”

So to readers of my blog… to all users of the social media… and to any who find hours past in gazing into the entertaining grip of technology… please, and by all means keep using it.

But in your routines, Michael asks us one basic request. To put them aside in balancing our lives… to get out… to meet people… and to socialize the old-fashioned way… face to face. Then you can tell the world about it with whatever device you choose. It works better that way… 365 has taught me that.

Michael, thank you for you direction, and we’ll do our best to stay connected the right way!

No secrets anymore… the new friends I hid from you last night take center stage today, Young family, Anthony, Kristen and son Israel.

At under twenty-four, both Anthony and Kristen want with a peace that is beyond their years. I made quick reference to it in my writing yesterday. But tonight In sitting with them, nothing has changed.

Recently relocated to Los Angeles from Rhode Island, they say, “It is a miracle we even made it here, we both come from backgrounds of being very poor.”

Perhaps that is what matured them, but the light that they invisibly shine is deeper than the humility learned through the school of hard knocks. Not knocking the wisdom that is to be learned through trials. But still, I can’t exactly put my hand on it… and even as I write, I continue to review of the feeling that I felt emitting from both Anthony and Kristen, a peace that can even be seen in the loving attitude of Israel as he plays with my girl.

I forgot to tell you, I have brought my daughter with me tonight, so with our kids playing in the background, we take time to chill as friends.

“Things are going better now that we are here, but it is still hard to stay positive,” Anthony notes while Kristen listens intently.

Our conversation ranges from talking of the cultural differences of the West coast as compared to the East coast, faith, parenting, and some sharing of our life histories. Another one of those we don’t know each other, but we are now family moments.

And per all those feeling I expressed in my last entry as I pre-introduced the special qualities I sensed in first meeting of Anthony and Kristen? I’ll turn to page to them in allowing their responses. I hope you will be able to fully absorb the character they carry.

Anthony, Kristen… If you had any words of wisdom, advice or counsel for the world, and they were listening, what would you say?

Anthony:
“There’s no one single perfect thing I could say to an imperfect world. There’s such a wide spectrum of complex issues from one end of the earth to the other. From the slums in southeast Asia to the hustlers in inner-city America, to the billionaire corporate owners…I can only give one bit of my own imperfect advice; Seek God… Above, within… or around us… seek God.

Kristen:
“Protect our children at all costs. Hold utmost responsibility for the wellbeing of the children we bring into this world. Preserve their innocence during their youth and nurture their minds. Be proactive in their development and encourage their imagination. While you complain about the minds of the younger generations remind yourselves who raised them. Instill good values and spirituality, and never be afraid to speak out against worldly traditions of today’s society to your children.

Be your son’s and daughter’s role model instead of celebrities and reality show actors. Let your child be the difference, the diamond in the rough, the gem among hundreds. That is the most important thing you can do in this life as a parent.”

Anthony, Kristen… Looking towards the future, as close or as far as you want to. Where do you think we will be, or how do you advise us to approach the future?

Anthony:
“Looking towards the future I advise that individually and collectively we look to the example of two great men who defined a portion of our past, Bruce Lee and Muhammad Ali (Did not tell you that Anthony is an amateur boxer).

Learning from them, let’s be ambassadors of our cultures, express our arts, stand up against our oppressors, exude confidence, and always remember that sometimes we must FIGHT and fight hard. So float like a butterfly and sting like a bee.

Love.”

Kristen:
“Tie strong bonds with the good people you meet through the guidance of spirituality. There are fun times to be had, places to see, goals to accomplish, but even the most successful man is empty without spirituality. At the end of every hard day, find time to reflect and include prayer and meditation. Discuss with people topics of substance and share good values. Don’t ever think someone may not understand where you come from or who you are. Revive the sense of community we are gradually losing. This is how we have to approach our future as a people.”

I can’t top what Anthony and Kristen have encapsulated in their early found fountains of life wisdom.

Wisdom that is inspiring to hear… and wisdom that I am certain was the genesis to drawing us together last night.

Like Kristen says, “Tie strong bonds with the good people you meet through the guidance of spirituality.”

Not saying that I am any great spiritualist, or guru in any form, but one thing is undeniable… The more I simply keep my chin up and eyes to the world, dropping my fears in greeting all who lock eyes with me, and, the more I notice, or hear what I see at a heart level. It is proven to me again and again in meeting so many uniquely different people.

And this evening I am definitely blessed in being able to spend time with a special and loving family.

Anthony, Kristen and Israel, thank you for letting my daughter and I into your hearts. You are good people. Hope to see you at the park again!

DON’T FORGET, MARK YOUR CALENDARS, TWO DAYS TO THE PING PONG COUNCIL

On Saturday, August 25 (that’s two days from today), between the hours of 3:00pm and 7:00pm, let’s get as many Angeleno’s as we can to play a few rounds of Table Tennis at Vahid’s club. It’s not the expensive, $7 each and I’m sure will prove to be a lot of fun.

I see two things that can come from it. One: A great opportunity to share thoughts and witness just how in common we all are, and Two: to help a deserving dude get his business off the ground. And in either I see no downside.

So friends within commuting distance of Vahid’s “Table Tennis Club” we look forward to seeing you at the tables.

Table Tennis Club
21911 Sherman Way
Canoga Park, California 91303

Click for the full story