wisdom council

SideWalk Ghosts / Interview 170: “Anarchy Scares Me”

by

Let us keep moving forward in our effort to unite as a people. Day 170 has hit us and 365 is moving so fast. I can’t believe that in less than two weeks we will be at the halfway point. Not sure how we are going to celebrate this mid-point mark. If anyone has a suggestion, please pass it on. And whatever we decide to do, lets thinks of a way to get the message out further.

“We are all in this thing together,” I never get tired of saying it, and I sincerely hope it is becoming a mantra to us all. One-by-one may we pass it forward as a tribute to the individual influence we are to the world around us. We are a powerful bunch and with our united voice the combined acts we carry forward are nothing to ignore.

I know, it’s crazy to me in seeing how my photographer’s blog has evolved to carry a social message. And weirder yet, I’m starting to become an activist of some kind. That is something that has occurred beyond my control. I must express my appreciation to all who have helped to form the basis of my blogs content, over 200 photographs, and in excess of 150,000 words to date. All with meaning that is not of me, but of my strangers turned friends. Perspectives that are further fueled by the dedicated following of you, my readers. Please keep the comments coming. And by all means, keep passing it on.

I run into another friend today who edifies our effort in seeing beyond the veil of cultural difference, “Don’t let religious differences or politics get in the way of us existing globally. What is important is the health of the planet and learning to coexist peacefully,” Opening advice from producer, father and writer, Rusty.

I meet Rusty at the garage sale of another new friend of mine. Garage sale is a huge understatement. It is more of a high-end gem and antique store hidden in the veins of suburbia lifestyle.

I’d like to spend this whole entry talking on my buddies sale, but needless to say, the story here has to be dedicated to Rusty.

Rusty expresses a concern regarding a block to the world he wishes for. A world where more will have a greater respect for the environment and humanity. “Corporate greed will not let that happen,” he warns.

Yet he does expose a glimmer of hope in charging us to duty. “It is kind of scary seeing what is happening, but in this is the age of information, we can create a domino effect in getting the word out, to open people’s eyes. We have the ability to stir up the pot.”

I have kids; I’m worried about this country and about what the future will bring for them, and us all.

In the 50’s we worried about Russia and the cold war. My children won’t have to deal with things like that. Now the war is with ourselves, and I wonder what is going on behind the closed doors of corporations and politics. But it is good that more and more people are starting to open their eyes.”

“How do we repair the damage,” Rusty proposes.

He answers his own query, “We have to become proactive, I don’t want to see a collective anarchy or people over reacting. Anarchy scares me, but if we do fall to it, I hope that once the dust settles, we will be in a better place.”

Even tough Rusty and I speak of the worries of anarchy there is a real peace in our conversation. A peace that I will admit is core to my spiritual outlook on life. But a peace that has been strengthened by the many who have graciously accepted my invitations to contribute to 365. And yes, even those who have mocked me over the last few months have collectively contributed to the song that we are beginning to sing.

There are a lot of great people on this planet; I know this first hand in meeting many of them. For this, I am grateful for Rusty’s words.

May we all be united in building a better planet. The time is right and the seeds are planted. It is up to us to nurture the garden in growing respect for one another. One kind word or act is more influential than we think. As Rusty advises, “We have to become proactive.”

SideWalk Ghosts / Interview 123: “To Walk With Them As The Same”

by

Dinner is in one hour and I decide to take a short evening stroll. Just need a little time of introspection to flush out my head. It’s been a buried business day, and albeit a positive one, I welcome a brief escape.

Well, I call it a stroll, but you and I both know, it’s really a thirty-pound of photo gear on shoulder world exploration. That’s just the way life is with my 365 commitment, and thank you for being with me on this amazing experience.

Today marks over four months for 365, and through it, we have witnessed the birth of a global community. I often say that I have no idea of were 365 is taking us. But one thing is apparent; it is helping many of us to reach out to the world.

I’ve been sincerely reading your remarks and have checked out your blogs. Your comments have been inspired and we now have over 1300 registered followers. Not bad for a little rag-tag blog.

365 is truly becoming more than a personal travel log, it has grown to be about people beyond us. Many new friends have joined us, and, in meeting them; it’s been constantly humbling the way they are driving us forward.

A new vocabulary of life’s perspectives is emerging, transparent to us all. With this, another global statement must be noted, “The world is filled with great people.”

And in talking of greatness, I am not focusing on media giants, wealth or any other form of power. The greatness I am referring to is the willingness of so many to look beyond themselves in honoring each other. A willingness that I am grateful to be part of every day as I reach out to my neighbor’s  of planet earth.

May we all continue to unite in “humanalution” (there’s that word I invented again).

With all this said, it is appropriate that I run into Justin, a very cool cat who is caretaking at Cloud 9 Hookah Lounge.

The place is only footsteps from my front door; yet, I’ve always been intimidated to walk in. Not because I don’t smoke, but embarrassingly, I have been afraid of a preconceived cultural divide. Thinking that whoever is in there… they will not understand who I am.

I am proven way off base, when I meet Justin, as he is setting a sidewalk sign. In approaching him, I feel of a peace he emits. And soon you will join me in understanding why.

“Be strong, not physically, but mentally,” Justin’s first advice for us.

He talks with optimism, all the while, directing it away from himself, “Provide yourself with more than you think you can do. Whatever it is, you can achieve it. And don’t stop dreaming, because dreams are the keys to the world.”

“Dreams are the keys to the world.” Not passion, not desire, not plans, not even education… Just dreams.

Justin and I talk about dreams for a while. In the end we conclude, that dreams are greater than passion, and are an important connection in defining our purpose on this planet. Thus, purpose, becomes the purest form of human motivation, for without it, how can we truly grow to find our fullest potential?

I’m writing a paper on purpose, and will share it with you in the future.

And for the sake of introducing the concept, Justin is our man of the hour.

On his arm is this tattoo, a self-written mission for life. It reads, “To walk with them as the same, thy here to take their pain, help them when they can not change.”

How eloquently this self-created, and very poetic verse, relates to the literal DNA of Justin’s love for the world around him.

“In high school, my career councilor told me that my tests showed that I had a propensity towards being a teacher, pastor or someone sharing a message.”

“To walk with them as the same, thy here to take their pain, help them when they can not change.” Purpose? I think so!

Here is the kind of stuff Justin does. He talks of pay it forward. But for him it is more than a concept… it’s a call to action. “Not so long ago a friend and I go into a Starbucks. We give $100 to the guy at the counter and asked him to use it to cover all the next customers until it is gone. We asked him to do it with one condition, ask everyone who receives the paid for drink to pass on a good deed.”

A monumental gesture from an (I’m sure) under funded twenty-two year old. His story blows me away. Like I said, “The world is filled with great people.”

“To walk with them as the same, thy here to take their pain, help them when they can not change…” Please go on?

Justin is a humble guy, he credits his career ambitions to words of his father, “My dad once told me that I have a gift; I did not understand what he was talking about at the time. But now I think I’m starting to.”

Justin is not boastful, self-promoting or egotistical at all in opening up with me, “I’ve always been a good listener and somehow I calm people.”

Calm people– “To walk with them as the same, thy here to take their pain, help them when they can not change.

Justin’s goal, “I’m about to start my training as a Hypnotherapist, I start school next month and will be practicing in six months. I want to use the gifts that have been given to me to help others. I hope I’ve found a way to do it.”

In speaking about the future.

“I want things get better politically, the government is going crazy.”

And on a more personal note, “Health wise, everyone in on drugs! I’m scared for the future.”

At first, I think he is using everyone in on drugs as symbolism for the way the world is running itself. On Drugs, meaning, Out of Control.

That is not what Justin is talking about; he is speaking of the factual use of drugs.

“Too many of my friends have fallen to hard drugs like XTC and Cocaine. I’ve seen it ruin their lives.”

“I remember learning this in high school, stay away from drugs, being told that Marijuana is a gateway drug. And now I fully understand, seeing how it is affecting my friends.

I even had to end my relationship with my girlfriend. She changed for the worst after getting into smoking Marijuana. She became an angry person, not the person who I knew before her addiction.”

Drug addiction has become quite a through-line over the last week… Strange how the web of 365 is forming?

All I can say is I’m glad I’m hanging in the Hookah. Still don’t smoke, but maybe I’ll stop by one and a while for a soft drink and a chat.

“Justin, I’m sure we will not be strangers.”

SideWalk Ghosts / Interview 101: Gambling The Right Way

by

From time to time, I’ve spoken of my birthplace, London, England. And though my family migrated to the United States in 1961, me being age one, my blood runs Brit. Love my Roast Beef and Yorkshire pud, balancing my peas on the back of the fork and any form of dry wit.

My first year on American soil was spent in Los Angeles, and upon finding work as a tailor, my father relocated the family to Las Vegas in 1962, a story in itself, one that I will some day reveal in a screen play that I’m working on.

So in a way, I am a Vegas guy, but in no way subscribe to the Las Vegas hype of, “What Happens in Vegas, Stays in Vegas.”

I’ll admit, “I had a studio there in the late 80’s, even lived the life and became a big fish in the city for a while.”

But my hey day was short-lived, and ultimately came crashing down in the early 90’s… another screenplay in itself. After that, I relocated to Los Angeles. Sort of reversing my father’s LA to LV path.

No regrets in leaving Las Vegas, my campaign headline, “What’s Raised in Las Vegas, Leaves Las Vegas.”

There was a time that I said, “Lot’s of memories, but no future.” Farthest from the truth, life is great and Los Angeles has been very good to me.

Why do I share this history? I feel I have to in introducing our new friend of day 101, Daniel. His trade, Professional Gambler.

“Ah? The Las Vegas connection? We get it!”

Hollywood has done us wrong with its interpretation in the sex appeal of gambling and its caricature of excitement of endless nightlife. And, I’m sure many of us have seen the darkness of its addiction; with friends, or perhaps even ourselves falling paralyzed, or worst, destroyed by seductive allure of high stake nightlife.

I myself have walked the edge of the Scene, experiencing it from both the sides of the coin (no pun intended). I’ve walked with Casino executives and stood by the side of many a gambler. Fortunately for me, I dodged the snare of the gaming trap, but I wholly know the players of the game.

So to meet a pro gambler in a very suburban part of the San Fernando Valley hits me as both sublime and powerful.

Why sublime? Daniel is a regular guy, living a regular life, in a regular neighborhood, working a regular workweek.

He is not garbed in bling, wears no Armani, and is not clenching fists of greed earned money. Like I said, a regular guy, doing regular things on a regular Sunday.

I sight Daniel as he is raking leaves in his front yard. It’s a scene out of Mayberry RFD, and one that I can in no way pass on as I drive by him this day.

In my first meeting of Daniel, he is warm, welcoming and obviously doing his best to take care of his home. His yard is well-groomed; no pomp and not filled with hot cars, just a comfortable home, and yes, in a regular neighborhood.

Daniel is a shining example of balance. This is where I sense the aforementioned sublime irony of meeting a professional gambler living by modest means and an equally honest lifestyle.

He holds no punches in telling his story. “I’ve overcome a lot, drinking, hard drugs, the loss of a business (a sports bar) and a failed marriage.”

I ask Daniel if he is happy. “I am,” he tells me, elaborating, “I’ve never been focused on material things. I’ve learned that life has peaks and valleys; you just have to roll with them and not let them get to you. What is important is appreciating every moment in life as opportunity for learning.”

Earlier I used the word powerful in introducing Daniel. I know we can all agree on his above philosophy, one in which many of us are subscribing to in reading the various interviews of 365.

What is fascinating is the variety of means, and life experiences, many have shared with us in defining their personal outlooks. From courageous life changes to humble acceptance, self concern to concern for others and from wealthy to homeless, one message is coming to the surface in shining colors. We as a whole are not that different. We just need to look past the surface.

Daniel: Powerful?

It takes character to self evaluate and to grow stronger from doing so. And, growth is what Daniel is all about. He credits his rebirth to the Dalai Lama.

“I read a book that changed my life. I was angry at the world, and it controlled my life. His book healed me, and for that, I will forever be a better man.”

Daniel is a testament to self-control and thoughtfulness for others. “You have to use every moment as a test to master yourself. Its like… if a person cuts you off on the freeway, and they are raging. Don’t judge that person, just use the moment for positive. Don’t get mad or react. That way you contribute a positive message to the world, and in turn overcome your weaknesses.”

I start to realize the depth of Daniel and his advice.

He continues, “In Vegas casinos, I can be intimidating, I’m all tatted and look like a skin head. But really, I’m just going bald. Sometimes people are scared of me.” I lift my hat, relating to him on the balding issue, the scared of me… no so sure?

“From the way people view me I have learned to be patient and I treat all people the way I want to be treated… with tolerance.” Daniel sums up as he reveals the course of his life’s change.

“I did have an anger management problem, I paid the price, but all is in check now. Life is good, I’m re-married, happy, have freedom of mind and time to do what a love doing.”

Daniel, thanks for showing us how to gamble the right way.

SideWalk Ghosts / Interview 70: For the Love of Dogs

by

“I’m cheating!”

These are the words my husband, Richard, springs on me this morning.

“What?”

He continues to unload his burden:  “I’m cheating. When the dog groomer called to confirm our appointment, I just couldn’t help myself. I asked her if she would be my 365 subject for the day. How could I do that?  I mean, she’s not really a stranger?”

I looked at him for a moment and then launched into my lecture (poor hubby) – it went something like this:

People in the Sun, 1960, Edward Hopper (Smithsonian American Art Museum)

TERRI (that’s me):
Richard, I think you know that one of my favorite painters is Edward Hopper.

RICHARD:
[Nods, bracing himself for an analogy that may or may-not have any relevance to his concern about artistic integrity.]

TERRI:
Do you know one of the reasons he appeals to me?

RICHARD:
[(Thinking) I guess I’m about to find out.]

TERRI:
Well, next time you look at a Hopper painting, take a moment to observe the human interaction. You won’t find any. Check out People in the Sun, or Nighthawks  — people together, maybe even doing the same thing, but no interaction. His paintings are a commentary on our modern world. A person can live for years in the same home and never even know their next-door neighbor’s name.

RICHARD:
Yes! You are so right! (I love it when he says that).

TERRI:
Nikki has been grooming our dogs for almost 15 years. Tell me something about her.

RICHARD:
She grooms dogs…

TERRI:
And…

RICHARD:
… uh, she drives a mobile grooming truck.

TERRI:
She’s a stranger to you. You know, sweetheart, perhaps some of your 365 strangers are going to be the most obvious, and each of them has a story… just as much as the person you cold-intro yourself to at the airport or on the street.

RICHARD:
…will you write my blog for me today?

TERRI:
Ya, right!  Nice try.

Well, here I am, writing his blog.  Not because he is lazy or uninspired — but because he is worn-out!  If you read last night’s post you will know that after hanging-out with his new 365 fire-spinning friends, he didn’t crawl into bed until almost 3:30am, followed by a mid-morning conference call, working, shooting/interviewing his 365 friend for today, and some daddy-daughter time. Now, Richard is in great physical shape (teaches spinning 3 times week and mountain bikes some pretty gnarly trails), but he is no longer in his uh… 20s, so by 5pm he was done. Being the wonderful wife that I am, I took pity on him tonight and offered to write his 70th 365 post.

So, here it is…

Meet today’s friend, the lovely Nikki and her dog, Betty.

A professional pet groomer for 18 years, Nikki thinks everyone should love what they do, and it is clear that she lives by her own mantra. “I want everyone to have a nice-looking, clean, fluffy, good smelling dog.”

Starting her mobile business just two years after completing her training, her father calls her an entrepreneur, but Nikki prefers to think of herself as a perfectionist. For Nikki, it’s not about just getting the dog groomed and out-the-door, it is equally important to her to make the entire grooming experience as pleasant and stress-free as possible for the dog. She is pleased that she is often able to take on a difficult dog that is very resistant or scared of the grooming process and make it bearable for them. She does it for the love of the dogs.

Nikki’s desire for perfection is evident in her craft – she is one of the few dog groomers who use shears (not clippers) to hand-clip the finish work on dogs… OK, at this point I am sure some of you are thinking: “It’s a dog! Clippers. Shears. What difference does it make?” 

Well, here’s the difference (those of you who have a dog will know exactly what I’m talking about). Ever have your dog shaved by the vet, an inexperienced groomer, or for the summer? You barely get in the door and your dog is gone!  They are hiding from the world. They know how silly they look.  It’s really true.  The inverse is true when our Scottish Terrier hides when he hears Nikki’s truck pull up – he hates to be groomed, but believe me when I tell you, he struts around thinking he’s “all that” the minute he steps off her truck. He knows he looks good!

Nikki loves her craft and she takes it seriously; she is good at what she does and the difference is apparent. “I go beyond for my customers,” and the proof is self evident – she has so many dedicated customers that it is difficult for her to fit in newcomers

Driving from appointment to appointment, she is accompanied by her own pooch, Betty. A sweet, good-natured, American Bulldog, Betty began life with Nikki first as “Betty-Spaghetti,” and then “Betty White,” but they both agree now that Betty-Boop is the right name for her.

Nikki sees herself  “retiring” someday with an expanded business of mobile groomers, allowing her the time to breed American Bull Dogs.

Nikki, thank you! Keep doing what you love and what you do so well. You are an inspiration to all of us.

Richard’s back tomorrow!

SideWalk Ghosts / Interview 55: “My Kids Like To Talk To Me”

by

For the past 55 days I’ve openly written about my life, my journeys and the people I meet. For four-weeks I have been especially exposed with so much time away from my family, so today I have embraced time with my daughter, sunrise to sunset, and it’s been great.

One more level to know about myself and my family, we are home schoolers.

First off, I need to dismiss one myth: my girl is well-socialized, well-adjusted and gives us all the same homework grief that all of us parents have come to embrace. Why do I share this? Bear with me, it leads in to how I meet my new friend today.

Every week there is a group of home school families that gather at a local park. Lots of kids, lots of extra curricular activities and lots of parents gathering together.

Here is the truth to the socialization issues of home school families. The kids are fine. It’s the parents who need to meet people. Many of us spend incredible amounts of time preparing lessons, taking workshops and being teachers as well as parents. It’s not abnormal that some of us are a bit twitchy, having the tendency to be found isolated, heads buried in the I hope I can keep up with my kids sand trap.

Knowing that, next time you see one of us sort of twitching, buy us a Starbucks, might just be lack of sleep. If that does not work, run!— there are a few crazy home schoolers out there, too. Best to avoid them. (I’m sure I’ll take a few hits for this comment).

So today, not only I am getting to have daddy/daughter time, I get to talk to adults outside of my professional circle— something that I need to do more often. I see why park day has become a coveted activity for my wife. She deserves it, being much deeper in the teaching trenches than I.

Its 12:30sh, my daughter and a group of kids kneeling on a community gym stage, all deeply involved in French class. How cool is this, my girl is involved, having fun, learning, and I find a little time to chill. This is sanctuary.

I’m not alone, the gym is filled with small cliques of parents and others finding their own chill space. Most of them are familiar to me. Some I’ve spoken to, others I avoid and some are close friends. As I enjoy my moment of relaxation, I notice a new face, and thinking of myself as a self-appointed member of the welcoming committee, I reach out a hand of fellowship.

They say that water seeks its own level. I find this true in meeting my new home schooling friend, Lena.

Turns out that not only do we have the home schooling link, but she and her family are industry folk, her husband being an established lighting designer and gaffer.

We talk of business for a while and that leads us into topics of family and the raising of our children. Lena has it down and her priorities are in place. She gives me a brief history, “I worked for years as a dietician at,” (she unintentionally drops a few names as to where she has worked, and I realize she is a seriously educated and experienced professional) “but after my first son was born I knew what I needed to do.”

She promptly left her career and dedicated her life to full-time motherhood.

When I first invite her to 365, she is unsure. “I’m not that interesting, compared to some of the other people in your blog.” The furthest from the truth in my opinion. “365 is about everybody, and everybody has a message,” I assure her.

Lenathinks for a moment, “You don’t have a home schooling mom, do you?” And being a home schooling family myself, I am doubly motivated to publish her words. “I do not have any homeschooling mothers, and your words matter.” She accepts.

Question One: “What words of counsel do you have for my audience?”

I love her response, it is so global and all parents should take heed.

“Spend as much time with your kids as you can, it goes fast. Enjoy it while it lasts. Slow down and listen to them, not half listen… really listen.”

I swallow hard on that comment. My life is a sprint, not complaining about it, I love the pace. Yet I know her statement deeply reflects my mind-set. Having a home office is a double-edged sword. It’s great to be close to the family and home, but at times it does seduce me away from family reality. We do have a school room set up. Still there are times when my daughter will walk in during business hours with a simple question. And although embarrassed to admit, I half listen. Lena, thanks for the pointer. Next time, no big deal to stop for a minute and fully focus on her question. Everything always works out and I’m sure a short break will not bring the crumble my business. I challenge all of us to do the same when we can.

Lena goes on, “My kids like to talk to me, it’s an open-ended dialogue. I’ve learned to not dismiss their thoughts or try to redirect them into what I want to hear.”

Now, I think I’m a good dad. My girl loves me, I love her and I do my best to be a pretty good listener. And having a female child, I’ve learned to listen a lot. Ladies, you know what I am talking about. But this dismiss thing? It goes beyond Women are from Venus and Men are from Mars. We’re talking about my kid. Again Lena’s council hits hard. Next time I’m exhausted, and want to go to bed, I’m going to think twice before I redirect my kids question to support my sleeping needs. It’s about her, not me, at that moment.

Lena’s words are truly global. Not just for home schoolers, or families with kids in school. Council that applies to my 8-year-old or your teen.

At the beginning of my talk with Lena, she says, “I’m not that interesting.”

Lena, I disagree. Your words strike deep and are meaningful. Your calling is grand. Parenthood is a most noble of acts and you are at the top of your game. Thanks for the Dad check.

SideWalk Ghosts / Interview 47: “You’ve Got To Have Respect For Other People”

by

Last night I introduced you to Lieutenant Colonel Kevin Boal, promising to tell you of my experience with him.

Here we go. Bottom line, it was a roller coaster ride.

Flashback: Antoinette and I wrap up our interview, Colonel nowhere in sight. Pretty sure he has left to the liquor store a few doors down. I assume he is out.

I ready myself for a return home to enter my blog and begin to express my final thank you’s to Antoinette. As we do so, back to us returns Kevin. He is in full stride, taking control of the situation by jumping center stage in resuming his dialogue.

“Are you a veteran!!” he asks (it is not a mistake I use !! instead of ?). The question comes at me as sharp as a bullet. “No, I did not serve, I was between the draft and did not volunteer,” I reply. He looks away as if disgusted, leaving me carrying a set of mixed emotions. My legs wobble a little as I feel thoughts ranging from inadequacy to defensiveness.

Why!?! he blasts at me. Trying to gain his trust, “I was young, If I knew then what I know now, a may have enlisted.” “Are you f*#*ing stupid!” gets slammed back in my face as he chests up on me. Realizing there is no way I can get in his head and wanting to settle things down a bit, I look him in the eyes. “I’m speechless, there is no way I can understand what you went through.” He steps back and exhorts, “your, f*#ing* right.”

I’m thinking, “it’s over, we’re done, he is out of the game if I push him too far.”

But there is still a draw that I cannot escape. I need to know more. I decide to risk one more question, “will you let me interview you, you have a lot to share?” He shakes his head away, “I have nothing to say.”

Of to the side is Antoinette, witnessing the whole exchange. She has been observing silently, and somehow I think she is monitoring the situation. She contributes to the scene, “I think you have a lot of wisdom to share, you should do it.” Kevin again declines, “wisdom, right! I’ve got nothing to share!”

He again takes control of the moment and drops into testing me with an endless barrage of questions: California history, military facts, and asking if he can have my camera. I answer all to the best of my ability and hold my ground.

We go at it for 30 minute, or thereabouts, as we do the mood slowly changes to a more relaxed pace. An openness is starting to occur. The Colonel is beginning to let me in to his world.

We begin with simple exposures, “I’m part Sioux Indian and part Irish, watch out!” He says while cracking a smile. We are one hour into our chat, when he asks, ‘Want to see my office.”

I follow him through the laundromat as he lets me know that, up until a few days prior, he worked as security for the business. “I was told my services are no longer needed.” We walk through the facility; there are about 10 people at various stations, all in different stages of their cleaning rituals.

All seem to know the Colonel. The guy is a serious extrovert, complimenting everyone with various words and flirting with the women. None look away and engage with him as if they have personal history. Even two or three customers come up in trusting him with their customer service questions. It is obvious that he is no stranger and this confirms to me of his past employment.

We continue our travel through the store and end up in the parking lot at the rear of the building. I find myself standing alone with him at the back door. His demeanor is changing. With arms to the sky, he states, “here it is!”

“You’ve got great air circulation and lots of elbow room… great office!” I express. He looks at me and laughs.

He squats by the door, grabs a bagged bottle and takes a drink. We are silent for a moment taking in the sky. He stands up, “look up there you can see Jupiter.” With one eye on him, one eye at the sky and my feet readied to take me through the door, I look up and acknowledge his sighting.

Back at me as if weighing me up, his eye line shifts, “what do you want to know? And promise you will not make me look like a jerk!” I give him my word, “there is no way you can look like a jerk, you have a lot of wisdom to share. The only jerks are the one’s who judge you.”

“I used to be a terrible person, but as I get older, I have grown.” He is very specific about the word grown. I once again try to empathize, “I understand, life has a way of changing us.” I am rebuked, “no I have grown!” He smiles again.

It is not all intense topics with The Colonel. He tells me of his four marriages, loss of a home in the 1995 Northridge earthquake, and his trials growing up. Some items very dark, others on the lighter side.

It is now that it strikes me, even though he has had a very difficult life, his is a proud Veteran, a loyal American and very serious about his country and fellow servicemen.

I wish I could write the solemn words he entrusts me with. But in honor to him I will tell you only this in regards to Lieutenant Colonel Kevin Boal, he has great depth and a history that deserves him his vices. At times he alarms me, and at others, with suppressed tears in his eyes, he also moves me.

90 minutes into our time together we return to the front of the building for our photo session, if that is what we can call it. Really, he stood for a couple of minutes, lit a cigarette and signed off.

The last lesson in military respect comes as we conclude our evening. A man walks up, taking a pause from his laundry duties. “Are you a veteran?” he directs at The Colonel. “Vietnam” is the reply.

The man goes on to state his service, and even though he did not see front line he shares, “I was scared shitless.” The Lieutenant Colonel immediately reaches out his hand, and over a firm handshake, says, “welcome home!” They both well up, but quickly hide their emotion.

I think I’m starting to get the message.

There have been quite a few military related entries over the last few weeks. I admit in not serving. But one thing is growing in my heart. Bless our servicemen and women. Their sacrifices are at times great.

So next time you come across a Lieutenant Colonel Kevin Boal in your neighborhood, there is one thing you need to do, tell them, “thank you… and welcome home!”

Kevin’s words to share, “you’ve got to have respect for other people.”

The Colonel leaves me with a challenge:
He tells me, “Yuwipi is my religion.” I looked it up. If you are interested in Sioux culture and faith, research it, very interesting.

SideWalk Ghosts / Interview 39: Call To Action In Helping A Neighbor

by

For the last 38 meetings I have taken long notes; there is no need for that in interviewing my latest new friend Miguel. His story hits home in a very poignant way.

The economy has affected us all hard over the last years. Miguel is a testament to the depth of its effect on hard-working citizens.

He lives not far from my home, just a few blocks North of my street. Has a great work ethic, and pays his fair share of taxes. Yet he has not worked a paying day in over a year.

Not by any lack of effort or weakness of ability, mind you, rather by the forces of a down turning economy. A welder by trade, he was laid off of a well-paying position– one that not only supported him, but contributed to the security of his single mother and six siblings. Since that time he has applied for endless employment opportunities with no results. A situation I’m sure many of us have found ourselves experiencing on one level or another.

Miguel is one of an endless list of hard-working Americans, not looking for a handout, but a respectable job.

As we chat, I can see the concern in his face. He talks to me about the pain of unemployment, and its effects on him: Weight gain, a short bought of depression and the stress brought on by the possibly of loosing his home. All the while expressing his love for his mother and pride in his siblings.

Miguel is a good man!

After returning from an unsuccessful ninety minute driving and walking 365 search, I run into him only one hundred yards from my front door step. I’m sitting on the curb, not sure where to go and he finds me as he is returning from playing basketball with his brothers. We strike up a conversation, instantly I know I need to publish his story of tenacity.

We start off by talking about is his loss of over one hundred pounds, weight he rapidly gained at the start of an unemployment depression. A depression he rapidly overcame, realizing it would get him nowhere. He credits physical activity as a major contributor in keeping him grounded and on path to maintaining his health as well as a positive mental perspective. I’m very touched and impressed, knowing many people who battle with the same issues without success.

Miguel stands strong, committed, unshaken and humbly willing to share his story.

He tells me, “I’ll never fall that far into that depth of depression again,” going on to explain how that moment turned out to be a great motivator fo him as to where he does not want to be.

We brainstorm ideas for employment and I realize that I might have a lead or two for him — something I am planning on acting upon tomorrow, after all, “He is my neighbor.”

It is hard for him to answer my questions, but I can sense the weight of his desire to provide for his family is first and foremost on his agenda. No selfish words are in his vocabulary, again, only concern for his mother and siblings. You see, his father left when he was eight, making him the patriarch of the family. And please don’t get me wrong, this is no poor me story, quite the opposite. There is no guile or victim in Miguel’s tone. Even going on to state, “I am wanting to find my father and talk with him, to see who he is.”

He talks of his dream, simple and to the point, “Work to kick-in, so we can keep the house, everything, and I can help my family.”

I’m telling you, Miguel is a gentle giant, with one point-of-view: Family First.

His compassion is evident as he states his wishes for my readers, “Hope you don’t go through this.”

CALL TO ACTION:
The oldest of his siblings, Miguel carries an evident concern for his family. His greatest desire is to provide. Miguel is one in thousands of good people bearing the heavy burdens of unemployment. Not by choice, but by circumstance. He is not looking for charity. All he is seeking is a secure job where he can use his talents to provide for a family.

My challenge, if anyone has a lead on an opening for a highly experienced welder in the Greater Los Angeles Area, please let me know? I’ll pass it on. It’s the least we can do for our neighbor.

Miguel, keep the faith brother!