story telling

“Persevere, don’t accept anything less than what you want.” Words right out of the mouth of musician Brian, the man I meet this evening at a prominent Los Angeles rehearsal stage. This guy is way chill and has much to say about life, fellow-man and society.

What hits me like a ton of bricks about Brian, “He is all about balanced living.” A message he shares with me throughout our interview. Which, by the way, happens fairly quickly as I hang with him during his working shift at said rehearsal facility. We take our first photos in under 3 minutes as he checks the rehearsal room schedules while we stand at the front counter. We’re kind of working in tandem. He taking short looks away from his task, and I grabbing what I can in doing my best to not interrupt his work responsibilities.

First photos completed, I open up a little to him, “For the last week I have had a feeling that I need to visit this studio. So tonight, I’ve listened to it and that’s why I’m here. I have an intuition that is telling me, you have things to say that are in sync with the message my other 365 people have been sharing thus far.” Time for talk.

I start our interview by asking Brian about his tats. “They are a tribute to Johnny Cash, he inspires me. I can relate to the man in black.” He tells me of how he respected Cash’s life and the obstacles the man overcame. For me black is the color of hope.”

“A lot of people look at black as a negative, but I look at it as a beginning. You have to appreciate that no matter what is happening, good or bad, things will always get better. To me, black is a starting point.”

Brian is tremendously optimistic. A real contrast against having black as his banner color. With an extremely positive outlook to some pretty tough circumstances, he gives me a brief history of his challenges and wishes for the world. “Two years ago I lost my job, my band and my place of living, all at the same time. I reacted, asking myself, “What the hell do I do now!” It hit him hard, but only for a minute.

“But as I calmed, there was really only one thing I could do: Keep Truckin!“

Brian is incredibly interesting to talk with, his tone is calm and comfortingly dark (I know, comfortingly dark? how can that be? it just is) and his messages are meaningful and sociologically Evangelic. ”

“Too many people turn a blind eye to the negative. There is a lot of messed up stuff in the world. People can do more that just watch the news or be fans of organizations helping others. They can get up and do something about it. I’m not saying they have to give a ton of money. I certainly can’t. But they need to at least realize, not everyone has the opportunity or courage to share a voice. So don’t choose to be silent, make your voice heard.”

Brian is not a radical, he is just concerned. Concerned for the future of society and wanting to his part in making the world a better place for future generations. I know he his honest and passionate in his plea, when he tells me of where he wants to be in ten years. He does not give me one clear answer, but, “Happy and with a family” is basically his response. It is easy for me to put two and two together by the context of our interview. And I’m fairly confident my assessment is accurate: Happy and with a family,” that’s it.

Brian is not motivated by a quest for musical fame, or riches, or popularity. “In my music, if I can get anyone to escape from a daily grind for a minute, I’ve done my job.” Words I’ve rarely heard from most of the young aspiring musicians I’ve met.

“What’s important to me are my personal freedoms and I’ll tell anyone this, Don’t accept anyone influencing what you can say, how you should feel, and most definitely what you want.”

Radical words, maybe for some. But Brian is no radical, just a creative guy, wanting to use his talents for good, and working two jobs to keep his freedoms.

“Persevere, don’t accept anything less than what you want.” A statement about wealth, power, influence and popularity? I think not. What it is, is this: A one line anthem suggesting a life perspective, “Be who you are, follow the path that brings you joy and be strong enough to figure out how support yourself in going for it.”

My takeaway, “Share what you have, work hard and inspire others to do the same.”

He quotes, “At the end of the day, the only one you let down is yourself.”

Brian, Keep Truckin!

A stranger walks into my house this day and a friend departs. The story starts with Elizabeth (not pictured), a past intern, turned friend, turned New York emerging photographer. She is in town this week and has stopped by to chat and borrow some equipment.

By her side is her studio manager, Gina, the lady of today’s entry. Normally I would have dismissed an introduction, telling myself, “Your cheating in finding a 365 friend.” But Gina’s energy is too lovely to pass, and accepting this as the first time either of us have met, and knowing nothing about each other, she absolutely qualifies as a stranger.

Gina enters my home with the ease and comfort of a long time friend as we all walk through my living room in route to my office. We pass through its double doors when, without invitation, she immediately flops herself down to completely recline across my couch. It’s as if she is in her own territory and makes the house rules. Normally, this type of casual behavior at first meeting would put me off, especially in my own home. But not with Gina. There is something about her that is electric and peaceful at the same time. Even though she is quite bold at first meeting, there is no ego struggle and it is easy to see she is a people person and means no contempt.

Midway into my conversation with Elizabeth and Gina, my daughter walks in, and the fireworks start. Now, my girl is a great judge of character. At eight, she possesses an amazing gift for the discernment of people. Every time she has withdrawn from a person, there has been a proven reason for her withdrawal. Yet the second she and Gina hit marks, it’s all fun and games. There off all over the place. It’s like having two teen girls on the loose.

From there on, Gina is part of the family, I am smitten by her spirit and resolute that she is today’s story. “What give her this ability to connect so easily and rapidly?” I must know.

After letting the girls run down their energy for a while, and equipment review with Elizabeth complete, I grab Gina for an interview.

She quickly opens up, “Never trust anyone,” followed by a huge laugh. She is kidding, but there is an air of truth in her statement. “Why would someone with her ability to connect with people, have a statement like this?” Obviously she is joking, but after chatting for a bit, I think I get it. “Gina is a free spirit.” I see it in the way she plays with my daughter and my ease in speaking with her. She sucks you in with her charm, vitality and humor.

Gina tells me of her fathers push for perfection, “you have to always get A’s.” she laughingly tells me, and further submits, “I don’t love myself, we can go there if you really want to get deep.” It is a moment that moves us to pause and ponder. I bounce back, “If you’re talking about self-esteem, many of us feel that way.” With smiles on our faces, and realizing my daughter is crunched up to Gina’s side, so we decide not to go to delve fully into this topic. I’m impressed with Gina’s self awareness and get her message loud and clear. Sound like she has had a lot of pressure put on her throughout life to succeed. Maybe a contributor to her earlier guarded answer, “Never trust anyone.”

What I find out about Gina as we continue to talk is this, “Gina is trusting and well grounded.” It’s evident in the level of detail and excitement she puts forth in articulating her thoughts. “I love life, open space, air and everyone. I’ve learned to compartmentalize anger and to open my mind to go outside of my comfort zone. I’m always looking for a new things, experiences or people.” A lot of depth in one short answer.

It seems Gina has found balance in life. Manhattan is an extremely fast and sometimes hard city. Gina talks to me about pace and how she copes with the energy of this metropolis. “Life moves too fast, you have to slow down and look around.” She has learned this perspective from living on both sides of the coin. Admittedly she has experienced New York’s clubbing scene, but that is in her past “I don’t drink or party anymore, there is nothing in it.” It is just trying to escape a mundane life, and that is tragic. Plus, the people you at clubs are not that cool.” Gina offers this council for us to ponder, “before emerging into this artificial world, consider living in the real world.” Gina’s conclusion to this life change, “I’m happier than ever, living in the real world.”

I ask her, where do you want to be in ten years?

She responds with a first, “That is a stupid and annoying question. Let me explain why” Her explanation is simple and profound, “Plans don’t always turn out the exact way you plan. You have to be open to change and here is the best part. THINGS TURN OUT BETTER.” Like I said, “Gina is a free spirit, but the best kind of free spirit, one who looks towards the future with hope and applies effort to moving forward.”

Gina is not the kind of person to sit back and let life happen, she is part of it. An observer of sorts that has the uncanny ability to blend in to partake of its good. What is exceptional about her, not only is she in touch with the world around her, she is a participant, taking no side paths in driving forward with her works. How do I know this, having only met her for a short time. I can just tell.

She gives us this summation, “Open your mind, break the cage to structure, explore and be you.”

Gina, “Even though you don’t trust me, you are welcome in my home anytime, and please, Keep exploring!“

5:30pm, driving home from dropping my daughter at her drama class, when I spy a worn motor home in the parking lot of Big Lots.

At first it is a shadow in my eye-line, but as I drive away I find myself unable to shake its sighting and have to investigate.

I make a few course adjustments and soon I am driving to it. Instantly I make contact with of one of its residents, Teresa. We chat for around fifteen minutes and my 365 journey for the evening begins. She tells me of her 12 years on the streets, homeless, and of meeting her fiance, Rex (soon to be introduced), some 21 months ago. Little do I know that I am at the beginning of a course of conversation that will enlighten me to the trials of many of our homeless, alá Rex.

At this point, Rex is not in the scene, with Teresa telling me, “He is the man you want to speak with, he has a lot to say.”  So we wait. As we converse I find out a little about Teresa. Our conversation starts out quite normal with a set of general questions. You know, the getting to know each other stuff. But then it shifts to the supernatural as Teresa tells me of her dealings with the spirit world. I hear tales of visitations and of encounters with entities — events like being thrown by the unseen while taking a shower. My curiosity is perked by her soberness in her explanations. I empathize, sharing with her a bizarre experience or two that I have had. (nothing like being thrown in a shower, but strange non-the-less). Don’t get me wrong, I’m not into the pursuit of evil beings or proclaiming to be a hobbyist ghost chaser. And by the looks of things, perhaps medication is the cause of such sightings, but I’m drawing no conclusions as to her sanity or not. That is not my job or responsibility. I’m just writing it as I see it.

We are starting to run out of steam when, walking up with a distinct limp, Rex joins us. I quickly find out that the guy has been homeless for the majority of his life. I tell him of 365 and its growing community, and that for some unknown reason, this evening, I have been drawn to his mobile residence. He is very articulate and chimes right in. Teresa kicks in, “I told you he would be into it!” And boy is he!

Over the next 3 hours I get a PhD crash course reflecting the many real challenges of living on the streets. Not so much the why we are here stuff, but the how we survive and what we do to support each other realities. To note, many of us may discard or choose to look away from their plight, and at times, I’m sure that may be appropriate, but Rex sparks my activism and understanding as to whom I need to direct my attention.

He tells me of his history, seven brothers and sisters, all of whom no longer associate with him. Even though he, as the oldest, and having lost their father, spent his early years helping his mother raise them, they still turned their backs. I have no idea why and surely there is more to the story than meets my eye, but still…

“My youngest brother is very wealthy and will not speak with me and I have lost contact with the rest of my family.” Even his two children are estranged, both living in Florida. My gut tells me he is truthful and that’s good enough for me. I do not press him any further for details.

I find out a few things about his past, “Many years ago I refed youth basketball and football and worked as a team portrait photographer.” I buy it, as he speaks well enough of camera technique to gain my faith in his claim.

There is one topic, however, that dominates our evening’s conversation: His passion to educate the public as to how law enforcement treats the homeless. Many times I have witnessed officers interacting with the homeless, and I understand neighborhood concern for keeping the streets safe, so at the beginning of his dialogue I am compassionate, but sit a bit on the fence. I’ve had a little exposure over the last few weeks. Incidents like: the looks I witnessed Victor (Music is Your Friend) receiving as he entered Applebee’s, and the earful The Colonel (You’ve Got To Have Respect For Other People) gave me at the laundromat. But Rex shares a more personal and darker side of the topic.

Now Rex is very sober. He is not a simple man or someone who has given-up relying on the system. My take: he is where he is through one simple fact, he is just one of the people whom life has dealt a series of hard blows, all of which he bears as part of the reason for his existence. Rex is a survivor, not a martyr or a victim. Just a man doing what he can to make the world a better place.

At 72 years of age, he is quite an educated man. Both in formal terms (seven credits away from a bachelor’s degree in legal studies), and in street smarts – lessons from the school of hard knocks. He is not a freeloader, does not look for handouts and cares for his fellow man – as I witness, while spending time with him at a local Kinko’s where he is making a sign to promote his non-profit project (I’ll get to that in a second), by his interactions and kindness to the customers who are obviously wary of his patronage of said store. I’d say he is a man of humility and forgiveness.

So why is he still on the streets? “I have a reason for being here, I’m doing something about the injustice we receive.” He goes on to tell me a bit more of his character, “I don’t lie, I don’t cheat, I don’t steal. If there is anybody who needs help, I’ll help them, even if I have to give the last possession I have, I will, if it helps someone else in greater need than myself. That’s the way I am.”

So what is Rex’s cause? “I’ve been beaten too many times to count by our local police, and I’m not scared to talk about it. They use us as test dummies for training.” He is passionate in this claim. “Many are too intimidated or crazy to speak up, but I am not. People need to know how we are treated. Many of us do not choose to be out here. Sme are here by choice, but many more are here because of illness or bad fortune. It’s that simple. It’s terrible how we are singled out and brutalized in the name of law.”

So what is he doing about it? For the past two years he has been putting any cent he can into legally pursuing his cause. “Yesterday I received my letter of incorporation.”  Seems he has set up a non-profit with a mission, To educate the public and support the homeless. Perhaps that is the reason I am drawn to include him and Teresa in today’s entry. To do my part in getting the word out. Introducing: “The Coalition of Disabled and Homeless, Inc.” In its infancy, there is not even a website yet. But with the intelligence of a seasoned business mind, he is setting up its board of directors, all pulled from people on the street. Whom better to serve the cause.

I spend 20 minute hanging out in Kinko’s with Rex as he hand makes his first company sign. Cost? 50 cents.

What does he mean by, “They use us as test dummies for training.” Simply that, “We are beaten in the name of training the law. They tell rookies: It’s breaking the cherry.” I don’t know the facts, I’m just reporting one side of the coin. Would be great to get other opinions for the sake of responsible communication.

Rex tells me of many personal experiences, but one is very intriguing and fairly open-minded toward the police force. First, I ask him, “Are all officers bad?” He says, “No,” and tells me of a few positive experiences of fair and respectful treatment. “But that does not cure the overall problem” he says. The story he shares is of being involved in one particular test dummy situation. “Here I am, at gunpoint of an obvious rookie in training. I look at his senior and ask, ‘Tell this guy to put the gun down, he is going to hurt someone.'” The senior officer complies. The offense? Being visible in the right place at the right time for a hassling. I’m telling you, Rex is lucid, or I am very gullible. Either way, the story rings with authenticity to me.

There are many other stories of life on the streets that  Rex imparts to me this evening. To blog them all would be a run-on, and I’m sure that is not the message Rex, and I, want to publish. His request is minimal: Tell my story of fairness. That is all he is campaigning for, fairness. Not handout, not turn the other cheek, not even poor homeless, Only fairness.

What about Teresa? Rex tells me, “I’ve got to marry her soon!”

Rex’s words of counsel.

“To the homeless. Don’t be afraid to step up, voice your thoughts, words and opinions with knowledgeable people, or other people who can help the homeless cause. Do your part. Go en masse to the councilman’s office.”

Rex, Teresa, I hope you invite me to the wedding.

Wence, man of humility, family concern and artistic vision

Mat and Armando, Canoga Park historians and ambassadors of the Valley

Day Of The Dead, Dia De Los Muertos: The holiday focuses on gatherings of family and friends to pray for and remember friends and family members who have died. It’s a big deal in Mexican culture and a huge day of celebration.

Every year streets close and open up to crowds of people, many of whom are covered in costume and face paint. This particular Sunday is such a day, and one that I have chosen to explore.

I’m in Canoga Park again, strolling six city blocks of food, music and street vendors. By my side, once again, is Dan, my 365 conspirator.  Thanks to him we get the behind-the-scenes photographs.

We’re walking, overwhelmed by the multitude of people out on this rainy day. I’m approached by a man campaigning with some sort of death penalty petition. Not signing it (it’s an issue with far too many levels to quickly sign a street paper), I  decide to ask him if he wants to share his message on 365. After all, it’s purpose is not to judge or be selective; it’s growing mission is to be a speaking board for all who are featured in it. Though he would take the opportunity, he declined. Oh well, move on.

All around us are face painted people, partying groups to calm families, and everything in between. For some reason I’m not drawn to approach any of the usual suspects, passing on the face paint, vendors and crowds. I find myself looking for the isolated or out of place individuals. Very strange to be in a place with so many people and not seeing a single person to approach. We loop the streets several times, not a 365 tug anywhere. I’m ready to find a new path, ears ringing from the volume of the stage band performing full volume just over my shoulder, when I’m drawn to a man of great stature. Under the blast of loud speakers I invite him to 365. He is unsure at first, but his wife, standing at side, encourages him on.

The music is screaming now, making it very difficult for us to communicate. We dig deep into our voice boxes to raise our volume and manage to exchange a few words. My new friend is Wence, another fellow photographer (two days in a row I have spoken to other shooters). Makes me think about my Gestalt conversation with Matthew only a few days ago.

It’s really loud where we are standing, totally disrupting our interview, so I move on to 365 questions:

What words, council or wisdom do you want to share with my readers?

“Treat everyone the way you want to be treated, and never judge a man by his looks?

Where do you see yourself in five to ten years?

“Somewhere better in making my mark in the world as an individual?”

This far into 365, I am learning a thing or two about observation. At first sight I view Wince as a huge presence. But as I speak with him I come to see he is much more than that, he is a man of sensitivity and artistic vision. And what  strikes me even stronger is the relationship he has with his wife (she has chosen not to be photographed). She is close by his side as we speak and I can fully sense the connection they have with each other. At this moment, Wince is still the huge man I first saw, but in a new light, that of a man of humility, family concern and artistic vision.

Wence you are right, “Never judge a man by his looks?

Interview over, we exchange our final farewells and resume route in our original direction. With enough time spent center crowd in the sporadic raindrops, Dan and I decide to retreat curbside in heading back to our parked car. As we do so we are caught by a, “Whats up?” Entering is yet another friend of the day, Mat.

Well, Mat at first, then Armando, Benny, Arnold, Junior and more than I can count. All are enjoying a celebration day, a reunion of sorts at the local hangout, Henri’s. It was only a few weeks ago when I met Nikki at this joint. It is a local destination and somewhere those of us living in the Valley have come to view it as an evening landmark music, drinking and breakfast joint. It’s no surprise that these ambassadors of the Valley have chosen to base themselves there on this Dia De Los Muertos.

Mat takes the lead in conversation. My eyes are opened to a history not only of the Valley, but of his background and determination to overcome a sketchy past. The guy has deep roots and tells me stories of the area tracing back to the early 70s. I’ve seen many photographs and read countless articles of the past San Fernando Valley, but Mat brings them in full color and with the eloquence of a schooled master. His stories are real, unpublished and reveal the trials of a youth emerging out of troubled streets. He openly expresses, “In 78 I was a gangster, a hoodlum… but those times are passed me now.” There is a calm in his eyes as he make this claim, and I can see he is an ambassador – proclaiming his example of what it takes to restart life on a positive path.

He brings me up-to-speed on the challenges he is facing and shares notes about a book he is writing, its working title: “Amazing Grace.”

Now living in Oregon, he is enjoying a fishing vacation while visiting friends in California. “I come here to see my friends and to get whatever work I can find.” He tell me of his construction ability and work ethic. With no desire to return to his past, he goes on to talk of the unfairness of the system. “We go to prison to make restitution for our mistakes, to be reformed and to be given skills to reenter society. The problem is, with two felony convictions, and in this economy, it is almost impossible to find employment. I have no intentions to return to my past life, but it is hard.”

“It is easy to rob, but the higher path is to work.” And working is the path Mat is on. Hang tough, Mat, and I’ll be looking for your book.

Equally as involved with me is Mat’s buddy, Armando, I just call him man of great smiles. Armando is a grand figure and I feel dwarfed standing next to him. Yet there is a welcoming warmth that emits from him. Armando has one major statement to share, “COME TO CANOGA PARK, IT’S A NICE COMMUNITY, WE’RE LOOKING UP!”

With Armando its all about positive energy. As we talk, endless faces walk by all receiving the same response from his gigantic and very real smile and a simple, “Hello,” or at times, “Want your photo taken by a famous photographer?” I dismiss the stroke and tell him next time to say, “Want your photo taken next to a celebrity?”

In my eyes, these men are celebrities. Not the kind we see on TV, but real stars of the community. Men who have first-hand knowledge of the streets, adversity and personal growth. As they stand street-side it is evident that they are watching-out for the community and have all good intention to contributing to its growth. I feel honored and humbled to be in their company. Rather be here with honest men, than to hang with closed-off posers any day of the week.

So here I am, Mat and Armando firing off Valley history and you can overcome anything statements faster than I can record and I am getting buried with new faces. Remember, as we are taking, Armando’s smile is inviting the world to join us. These guys have a vast network of mates, who keep emerging from within Henri’s. Men who, admittedly, have know each other from grade school and through life’s challenges. I stay clear of getting too direct in my inquiries, not wanting to push anyone too heavily for pasts details. But one thing is evident, they are all working to better the community.

I have spent 30 minutes with Valley royalty, seen them in action with the community, watched them encourage strangers and youth and have absorbed their message.

COME TO CANOGA PARK, IT IS A NICE COMMUNITY AND THINGS TRULY ARE LOOKING UP!

Gentlemen of growth, I salute you!

I’m hanging in the reception area of Bodies in Motion, a gym that I teach spinning at every Tuesday, Friday and Saturday. Having just finished my Saturday Drill Sergeant role in pushing my group for 60 minutes, I have decided to chill while waiting for my wife to pick me up for a ride home.

This is a boxing club and I’ve come to know a few great athletes of the ring. All with interesting stories and histories, even past Olympic champions and pro-contenders. There is one that always grabs my attention. His name is Chris. A man of great charisma and character. At 60 years of age, he is lean, in condition and walks with the humility of Job. Now don’t get too hung up on Chris. I know him fairly well, and for that reason he is exempt from 365. I’ll add him, but only by request from you, my readers. For me to approach him on my own would be a breach of my 365 rules. But if I get at least 20 requests from you, I’ll take that affirmation as an assignment from you, making it permissible to  invite him to 365. And even though he is not a full stranger to me, he is to you. Under that condition, I’m willing to push the 365 rules a little.

Chris does, however, tie-in to today’s entry.

So here I am, relaxing, mentally preparing for the list of things I have to get done today. Loving this moment, I’ve found my zone and am reviewing my iPad notes for the day. As I am doing so, Chris’ voice merges into my thoughts. In signature form, and with his uniquely calm and vibrant accent, he is giving boxing council to one of the club’s patrons. They are talking boxing strategy and I am fascinated.

I do my best to give them their privacy, but I can’t take my ears and eyes away from them. “So I block and step like this?” They slow motion play through a blocked jab. “What about the taller guys, how do I deal with them?” I can’t hear the exact words of boxing coach Chris’ reply, but his student is intently taking in his advice. After a few minutes, their conversation starts to go way over my athletic head. Perhaps, if they were talking about endurance or cycling, I’d be on the same page. So I shift to visual mode.

What strikes me as I continue to peek at their training, is the mass and intensity of Chris’ boxing friend. This guy is in incredible condition and focused on absorbing Chris’ input on the art of footwork and timing.

Their session ends and I’m left with the image of this moment burned in my imagination. I can’t let go of it. So much so, that I must ask this well-cut individual to be part of 365. I search the weight room and find him. Readers, meet John.

At first meeting I assume that John is a professional fighter. I find out that is not the case. He spars for conditioning, telling me, “At 50 I have to be careful.” I had no idea the dude is 50. Further inspiring me as to what can be physically accomplished with dedicated training.

John is a photographer. Of what? His specialty, adult films — something I have no experience in. We talk of lighting and camera technique and I share a few tips with him. He tells me, “This is not the only photography that I want to do,  but I’m in the network and making a living.” John’s roots are deep in adult film, a past performer, he speaks of transferable skill sets. The reason he has taken up photography? He speaks openly and honestly about his past, “I was young; part of the reason I have so many tattoos.”

Our time is very short, his schedule is busy and his girlfriend is helping him stay on time. What I do take away is this: John is a man of maturity. He talks of  accountability and not blaming others for our paths. He speaks like an MBA with clear and articulate thoughts of career and life. Even though he has spent many of his years in an industry that is dark to many, his chin is high and his future is decided. “I’m growing with photography and videography and am striving to expand the work I do to other areas of the profession.”

I show 365 to John’s girlfriend. She is straight forward and honest. I give her the pitch, “For one year I am photographing one stranger a day and blogging the experience.” She skeptically asks, “Why do you want to do that?” I’m paused. My response, “I’ve been in advertising for 30 years. 365 is a way for me to get outside of what I do and explore the world.” I go on, “And after 58 days it has become part of my life. I’m not sure where it is going, but it’s attached to me. It is sort of giving back to its readers and I have to finish it.” She seems content with the answer and I am reaffirmed to my commitment by her challenge.

In parting, John shares his words of counsel in the form of a self question, “Is the world a better place because I was in it? I see absolute sincerity in his delivery of this thought. It is a great question presented by a man who has a world insight that is unfamiliar to me. But this I do know, John is a man of discipline, compassion and self-respect and very dedicated to doing the best he can to leave a positive footprint in his path.

John, thanks for the interview and in the words of last night’s interview of 365 friend Betty, “Keep moving forward.”

See you at the gym, my friend.

I’m back at my local Ralph’s parking lot. Why? I’ve held a little secret regarding last night’s meeting with Monica and Matthew.

Flash back: Monica and Matthew are in front of the camera and as we are concluding our photo shoot an unknown face pops into my frame. A happy, inquisitive lady, sporting an Eat, Laugh, Love apron. Seems that curiosity, and the repetitive glow from my camera’s flash, has drawn her in.

She approached, “I’m ready for my photo!” We all laugh and are instantly smitten by her sense of humor and openness in approaching us. Her English is broken, and my Spanish is terrible, but we manage to unite in what 365 is all about.

Not wanting to pass on this opportunity to interview another 365 friend, and feeling crunched on time with my family sitting in the car, I ask her if she would like to participate in an interview at a later date.

Her name is Betty, and I find out she is a demonstrator, and only at Ralph’s one more day this week — tomorrow between 1pm and 7pm. We agree to meet up after her upcoming shift and I promise to bring a translator to help us in our communication.

Back to real time. It’s 7pm.  Air is cold, and very wet from a full day of rainfall. Lucky for us, Mother Nature has given us a break in the deluge, and knowing that I need to photograph Betty outside of her workplace, I feel quite fortunate.

By my side is 365 teammate, Dan. This is his third outing with me, and finding out that his Spanish is fluent, I have enlisted his partnership once again. This is a new experience, the first time I have worked with a translator in conducting a 365 interview.

365 is truly becoming global. Its diversity is starting to take form. My hope, as it progresses, is,  “To continued to open our eyes to the world around us.” With that said, tonight’s journey takes us to Peru, Betty’s home country.

A 16 year citizen of the United States, Betty has no hesitation in expressing her gratitude for what America has allowed her:“Life is good and I’m blessed” are Betty’s general point-of-view.

The weather is not that pleasant, yet deep in conversation, none of us are affected or clock watching. Still, I can tell that we need to keep our interview short. We are all wanting to return home to Friday family-time.

I only have to ask one question and Betty takes off in dialogue. I do my best to keep up – I’d be sunk without the aid of Dan. He is on fire, and with minimal breaks, translated words blast out of him too fast to write.

Betty is full of great advise. This is one hard-working woman who takes pride in her ability to work and provide. A wife and mother of 4 children and 4 grandchildren, her perspective is joyous, outgoing and positive. Quickly I find that I have met yet another person who puts friends, family and others before herself.

She tells me, “I am a good friend.” And after hearing her tell me of experience after experience of what she has done for others, I want to be her friend, too. Betty is the kind of person you can rely on. We should all be friends like her.

Betty laughs with one of the many store friends complimenting her on her photo shoot as they exit the supermarket.

Here we are, standing behind her husband’s truck, in the parking lot taking pictures. Person after person are commenting to Betty. They obviously know her: “Hi Betty! Looking Good! Employee of the month!” There is no doubt the community knows and appreciates her. I understand why… from her life outlook, “Be a good person. Be united and nice with each other without judgment and help each other. You give and God gives back,” are her exact words. These are the words that are shared with me, and for journalistic integrity, I am keeping them intact.

“If you are not moving forward, you are moving backwards,” Betty advises. “Find a job, make yourself useful. A trade, a passion, whatever it is, just move forward.” She expands, further stating, “This is for everybody, but also specific to the Latino community.” I can see where her heart is; her meaning is not meant to be critical, but a call to action for her community. “America is different from Peru. Everything is easier, and there is opportunity for those who work for it, and remember to vote!”

In only a short interview I know that Betty’s work ethic is off the chart. She tells me not only of her education and work history, but that of her husband’s business as well as the work of her son, both self-employed with a muffler, brake and alignment business. My car’s front-end is all messed up and I’m surely going to give this hard-working family my business.

Betty, keep up the good work and thanks for the lessons on being good!

Matthew and Monica, Art Institute Students, Kids of Wisdom

Please believe me as I tell you that I am not going yogi on you with the metaphysical. But I have to tell you this 365 thing is very strange at times, still leading me to the right people, with the right message, at the right times.

It’s 7:30pm, I’m with my family and starting to sweat a little, thinking, “Here comes a late-nighter trying to find a 365 friend!” We’ve been to Home Depot, Target, and Ralph’s grocery store, followed by a bit of drive-by wandering of a few other local retail businesses, and even after trying to force a few conversations at each of the listed venues, no-one is ringing out.

Submitting to the evening, I ready these words for my wife, “Can you and Colette get to sleep without me tonight, I’m going to have to go on a 365 drive.” They are behind me, but worry that I’m going to get myself killed by walking into a stupid situation on my own. The Hawaii hostel experience is becoming Radstone household legend and fuel for a continued “Richard, watch your back!” reminder from wife and daughter. Especially when I hit the night streets on my own.

So here I am, cruising the parking lot, beginning to accept my fate of a long night and thinking of ways to avoid two things that seem destined to come: Zero sleep and the Watch your back council.

No joking, within seconds of my submission, crossing the front of my car pass two people; Visual Effects and Motion Graphics students Matthew and Monica. The voice rings out! That is them! Game on!

Quickly, I set my route to park, driving to the top of the parking lot and doing my best not to become a stalker in chasing them down in my car. That would be way creepy, wouldn’t it? I pull into a parking spot at the end of a row, grab my camera bag, and set a foot course to where they are parked. I slow my pace and casually approach them as they complete loading their groceries into their car. They catch sight of me. I throw the 365 invite and it is instantly apparent that we are all where we are supposed to be at this particular moment. — at least that’s my take. We’ll see if you agree as you read on.

My tribute to youth continues with these two creative kids. They call each other kids, so I am taking license to do the same. Yet the words they share are not that of children, but brave and dedicated creatives with quite a bit of life experience, especially Matthew. At one point into tonight’s interview Monica even diverts to him to further share his story. We’ll get to that in a second.

Monica is absolutely delightful. I can tell she is the catalyst of laughter between these two. They seem soul matched, leading me to ask if they are significant others? With warm hugs to each other they respond, “No, just friends.”

There are only two words necessary to fully describe Monica, “Free Spirit.” She cracks me up with her forecast of where she will be in ten years, “I’ll have no house, I’ll have no stability and will be traveling — meeting crazy people. Routine and all that crap annoy me.”

Her words of advise, “Just do it; there is nothing stopping you at all.” I ask, “Sounds like you have a lot of life experience?” I can see in her eyes that she wants to share some of her life, and I can tell that she has a thing or two to say, but she shifts to a humbler tone and redirects the question to Matthew. There is a very warm connection between these kids that touches me, and I quickly find out why. Matthew steps right up, “I have no problem sharing my history.”

“I was diagnosed with  HIV one year ago.” Monica quiets and keeps her eyes focused on Matthew; I can tell she admires him and is inspired by his trials and maturity. It is at this exact moment I know why we are here together: Matthew has council for us all. And his words need to be published.

He tells me of his growth in accepting this life changing illness and of his experience with a very materialistic roommate, both issues he faced in tandem. His take away:

“Don’t regret anything, everything has a lesson.”
“Hate doesn’t take you anywhere.”
“All you can do is look at the good, that will drive you forward in life.”
“Tell the truth. You can’t live with secrets — they always catch up with you.”

Matthew is ingratiating as I note his council. It is apparent that he knows what he is talking about and desires to help any others who need to hear his words. And by the look in Monica’s eyes, I know why they are friends. He grounds her and she pushes him. These friend are meant to be (Monica, Matthew, please forgive me if I am being too presumptuous, just a feeling I’m getting as I write this blog entry).

We pick back up the group discussion, the subject turns to why we meet this evening. And after Matthew bearing his history, we all seem to know why. We deepen the topic in talking a little about religion as Matthew expresses his interest in studying it. A three-way dialogue begins and  we all agree that there is much good in many religions. Our conclusion, it is about honoring fellow-man, acceptance of a higher power and striving for self-mastery in doing the right thing. We expand and discuss the worth of a soul and it eternal progression. Heavy topics, but the air is light and the conversation united. Readers, I’m telling you, I don’t direct these meetings or force the topics — they just happen, and I’m convinced it’s not by chance.

Speaking of chance. I learn a thing or two about social magnetism. Matthew brings up the Gestalt theory. I’m vaguely familiar with its application in design, but have never really pondered it’s sociological and psychological applications or its theories of social attraction. Something that Matthew has studied a little. He poses the question, “Could it have had any influence on our meeting this evening?”

I have Googled and studied it a little as I am writing this blog. I’ve not delved to its depths, only taking a quick read of ten or so sources. It is a very fascinating theory, making me think about my influence in the hows and whys of my friendships, networks, surroundings and even the outcome of 365.

Both Matthew and Monica leave me with these words. “We think this meeting is meant to be; the day has led up to it. It has been a great day and meeting up with you seems to be what we have been going towards.” All I know is when I first saw the two of them, the voice rang in my head. “It’s them you need to talk to.”

Matthew concludes with this (and from his comments, I can tell he is very spiritual), “I put on my xxx (Matthew, forgive me, I forgot what they are called) beads today,” he shows them to me, “Seems they led me here to share my message.”

Monica, keep smiling and dreaming.
Matthew, keep the faith.

And kids, thanks for the inspiration!

Last night I picked it up while in flight, sharing my tale of noise pollution and briefly reviewing September 9th’s motivation to start 365 – again, an on-plane sensory experience of aromatic perspective.

This evening the air travel angels are with me, being seated next to the most charming Italian couple, beautiful dancer Giorgia, and very gracious musician Giorgio, both hailing from Venice. I could not ask for better travel mates.

We talk about 365, but in compassion to them and limited by very cramped quarters, we pass on making any pictures. They are planning to stay in LA for a couple of weeks, so  we are leaving it at getting together for an interview over the next week or so. Very cool of them. They have my card; hope they call me. Plus, I need to allow them their in-flight sleep time. They’re fried, having already been air cargo for eight hours and now undertaking five more hours of leg-cramp en route to L.A.

The last deal breaker: I have already photographed today’s friend and airport terminal companion, Reid.

Reid and I run into each other finding our gate randomly reassigned. Gate agent instructs us, “It’s just around the corner, Gate C-29.” For geographical point-of-reference, Reid and I are standing at B-11.

Off we go as instructed, “Just around to corner.” I love airports! Corner? Sure, if the distance is being compared to the length of a runway required to land a Boing 747. “Just around the corner” turns out to be the mother of all airport hikes, myself with 45 pounds of shoulder strap, and Reid bearing a bag on his lap the size of himself. The guy is a rock. I’m walking and fading fast and he is relentless. With one arm on the steering controls of his airport chair and the other holding his heavy luggage in his lap, he is my saving grace. Reid and his trusty chair blaze a path through the passenger-loaded thoroughfare and I’m grateful to follow his lead. Reid, thanks for the tow buddy, I owe you one!

As we race to C-29, I talk to him about 365. He is willing, but we are now both very behind in our need to settle prior to boarding. Myself anticipating a phone call and Reid crunching to get his stand-by arrangements worked out.

Fifteen minutes down and C-29 within grasping distance we are welcomed by a packed seating area. Lucky for Reid the line at the gate counter is minimal. Oh, I forgot to tell you, Reid is a great: extroverted, witty and highly intelligent, he scoots right up to the agent and in no time has a ticket in hand.

No waiting room seating to be had, I snuggle up to an architectural column and arrange my stuff in anticipation of getting a brief moment with Reid.

With pre-boarding calls calling out, we manage to find time for an extremely rushed interview and a few photos.

Here is what I find out.

•Reid has a Bachelors of Science Degree in Paleontology and is working on his Masters.

•He is traveling to Las Vegas as an invited presenter at a leading Paleontology Convention.

• One day he will be working as the curator of fossil exhibits at a leading museum (he expresses this to me as a goal, but somehow I already see him in the role).

We literally grab five minutes to shoot a couple photos and to express a few thoughts. I ask him to share words for you guys.

Words we’ve come to know, “Never give up!”

I leave Reid with this, “Thanks for what you do. My 8-year-old daughter loves Dinosaurs and knows what a Paleontologist is. Now I can tell her I’ve met a science superstar.”

He smiles at my words and disappears into the crowd.

Reid, knock’em dead in LV!

I’m going to do things a little different today. On a plane as I write this entry. No idea of who I’m going to photograph today. Had a short conversation with the flight crew, but no takers. Got to give them credit for what they do in making us all comfortable.

What is it with my seat assignment luck? Last time on the reverse leg of this same journey, I sat next to “Stinky Foot Man.” That is what inspired me to start 365. Had to type to escape the nose shock.

Today I find myself equally lucky, seated across the row from “Snore Man.” Snorers of the world, please do not be offended. I’m in your camp, being known to wail a touch in my sleep. But truly, this is no normal snore. It is magical and of epic proportion.

Let me see if I can communicate this sound in writing. The source of this amazing symphony of guttural volume is literally three feet from my left ear. Morbid curiosity sucks me in and I have to get a visual take. I peak to the left and am united in a team like gaze from passenger 32. We are obviously awed by the open mouth of this operatic performer. Enough visual, eyes pop back to enjoying the seat tray.

Standard headphones have no impact on this reverberating distraction. Even as I am typing, the volume and inconsistent cadence of sounds I thought were humanly impossible are resonating over my shoulder and into my head. Help! Anything to aid me! I contemplate packing my ears with cocktail napkins, but fear of self-injury halts my action. Yet I can’t help but be impressed by this virtuoso of artistic sleep. I accept the call to audience, sitting back to prepare for the performance to come.  But wait! My performing neighbor show signs of body shuffle. I pause; holding still with anticipation, not sure if relieved or dissapointed at the prospect of a canceled show. And feeling too self conscience to look left, and hoping my flying friend and sleep performer is not a nosy reader of my iPad screen, I accept the fact the show is probably over.

Now strangely feeling let down, I settle into the silence of jet engine whur with two questions, both unresolved, stuck in my mind: “Where do I get my refund for the canceled performance?” and, “Did I made it through the snore storm?”

The sky is getting bumpy, last approach announcement sounding. I must stow my typing escape and prepare for finding today’s 365 friend, hopefully in route to my hotel.

Just shutting down. Crud! Snore resumes. It’s going to be a gnarly landing!

Talk in a few.

After nine hours of travel, three of which are audibly abusive, I have managed to let go of my snore jitters enough to find today’s friend.

Tomorrow is a big day of business, and after my flight’s ear pounding, I really need to get some sleep, feeling the snore tale is enough journalistic travel entertainment for today, I’ll jump right in.

Say “Hello” to the happiest faces I’ve seen all day, Felicia and Fred, the front desk team at The Hampton Inn. From the moment I walk into the hotel their welcome to the world attitude and warm customer service make me want to move my family to Philadelphia.

We chat for a while and I walk away with a smile on my face. Fred, an aspiring business owner to be, tells me of his dream of owning an arts and crafts store. Being somewhat artistic myself I can understand his desires. We talk of product and his history as a Philly native. His advise for us all, “Never give up on your dreams, keep trying until they are a reality.” A messeage we’ve heard from so many of our 365 friends.

What can I say about Felicia? – the first of my two new friends to smile withe me this evening. Her energy is huge. My snap shot of her does not fully capture the excitement she has for life. It is undeniable that this lady is special.

Felicia, a 30 year hospitality veteran, expands on Fred’s point of about never giving up on your dreams. She says, “If you feel inspired to do something, do it! No matter how difficult or crazy, follow it!”

“I love what I am doing; every day I get to smile at a new person.” I’ve been fortunate enough to be the recipient of said smile today and can confirm its sincerity.

A few minutes speaking with her forces me to think about the moment. Her position on living, “If I had to live to this point over again, I would not change a thing.” We should all aim for this mind-set.

Without probing for answers, she goes on, “My life is graceful and peaceful with not much drama. Overall it has been good to me. I love where I am.”

We talk a little more about this point. I ask her to clarify what she means. “I’m not talking about career or status, I’m talking about where I am mentally, physically and spiritually.”

Felicia has lots of friends, many of whom she has met easily by just sharing a smile and an honest “hello.” She jokes, “If I die tomorrow, my funeral will take 3 days, so that all of my friends can attend.”

As we wrap up our interview, I ask for any last thoughts. Her parting words, simple and sweet, “I like everybody!”

Felicia, Fred, Philly, Thanks for the warm welcome!