SideWalk Ghosts / Interview 38: “Some Make It A Bigger Deal Than It Has To Be”

Jenna – Actress, Humorist, Humble Teacher

I start today at Vista Ford, home of my tragic leasing experience some fifteen years ago. For some reason I am inspired to visit the establishment once again. Don’t know why, but my gut is telling me it is where I need to start my 365 quest today.

I get this internal message loud and clear as I’m traveling East with my friend and driver for the afternoon, Danny. Vista five miles behind us, I question the prompting. Thinking why turn around? Backtrack a route already traveled? Makes no sense?

Committed as I am to 365, there is only one answer; “turn around, re-calculate and head West,” back to the gut inspired Ford dealership.

Back, past ten minutes of already traveled street we find ourselves wandering the car lot, “no one in sight.” A couple more minutes pass, our anticipated salesman approaches, politely sporting a white shirt and extroverted smile.

Not bagging on his effort, I feel no inspiration at all to photograph him. However, honest to the 365 effort, I know that I must invite him. As I assume, he declines the offer, leaving us with zero prospects in sight. It is a very hot summer afternoon. I am not surprised the area is void of people.

We withdraw to the shade of the car to continue our search for today’s 365 friend.

Two mile more to the West, Dan suggests a pit stop in a local shopping center, something about the suggestion feels right. “I wonder if the Vista Ford pit stop is an inspiration to pilot us in a new direction.” A romantic thought, and one that I will own.

Intermission:

Literally, as I am writing this entry, I’m looking across the table at six of my closest friends. Accompanied by their children, it’s Sunday family and social night. I’ve taken my break for the day and with dinner over, have settled into an evening of games, conversation and writing while we play. Everyone is getting used to me working on this blog. So even though they are with me in the journey, all harassment is fair game.

That said, It would be short-changing my friends to not publish their remarks. My friend Pam kicks in, “If you’re dissing us, you better write about me.” She challenges me, “I’m going to start my own blog on a leap year. So I’ll beat you with 366 days… eat that!”

She has started the “give it to Radstone train” and I gladly sport my target face. The whole group steps up to play and are all on a roll in tossing amazingly well though out jabs at me. It’s like a roast and I’m the guest of honor. I keep my focus and through jest after jest dart hitting me like bullets, I do not break stride. Words fly at me faster than I can record, none breaking my typing rhythm. I’m in keyboard nirvana.

Their effort is stellar. My following response is a tribute to their witty contributions of the evening; “zerberts to all and nose to the iPad for me.” I’m telling you, “I’m turning into a 365 writing machine.”

This verbal jousting barrage over, it’s karaoke time, a perfect jumping off point to take my leave in introducing you to today’ friend.

So with the haunting sounds of lounge music behind me, I ask you to welcome at center stage, our friend for the day: Jenna.

Danny and I stroll upon her chatting with friends outside of the Corner Club (a little sports bar) in Woodland Hills. The place is a touch out of my comfort zone, but there is a magnetic energy that inspires us to approach the group. As we arrive, we meet our first challenge, being able to tolerate the bantering from one member of the group. A friendly enough bloke who gives us a bit of a sarcastic hassle. It is obvious that he has no intentions of allowing us to photograph him. We allow him to state all of his input and he quietly retreats to the solace of the bar inside, leaving Jenna and I the privacy to talk.

At first I’m uncertain of where we will go in our conversation. Not knowing exactly how to relate, I jump right in with question #2, “Is there anything you would like to share with my readers?” That’s all it takes. Instantly Jenna and I are deep in discussion. She has a ton to say and all is very relevant. As always, now I know why I am here, at this place, at this time, standing with Jenna.

First off, Jenna has a sweet spirit about her. She begins her council by stating, “Life is tough for everybody, but some make it a bigger deal than it has to be. They forget about each other, overreact and disregard the fact that we are all in this life together.”

A struggling actor, Jenna has experienced the high and lows of being an artist. Yet she is highly optimistic, quoting as piece of advice she picked up from a Martin Scorsese interview, His father’s advice: “Nothing is more tragic than a wasted talent.”

She goes on to tell me that although this has been an incredibly difficult year, she has reached a time in her life where she is no longer fighting for control. And doing so has bought many new opportunities to her. She is honest with me in what is helping to pay her bills, a YouTube spoof on sex advise, telling me that although it is somewhat raunchy, she draws the line at nudity. She takes the hits when people call her a porn star, but that is farthest from her values. I know, for many the line is black and white on the topic. But Jenna is resolute that her show is a means to an end, and she will not compromise in full-scale pornography.

Her stance, “you can only lose your dignity once.” And for Jenna, pornography would be just that.

It is not our place to judge the intent of others. And after spending time chatting with Jenna, I am positive her point-of-view is of good rapport. And you will absolutely see why in a moment.

She comfortably states, “happiness is not about money or status, it’s about self-worth.” A theme that is becoming strong through line in 365. So how does a statement like this balance with smiling off the accusations of being a porn star.

Now I ask you to take off your first impression glasses and read on.

What really peaks my interest in Jenna is her dedication to the future of our youth. Specifically those with special needs. The catalyst for all of her efforts, and compromises, she has made in making income through her acting talents. And I’m sure you realize just how hard it is to survive in the entertainment jungle. Especially for the single folk.

For 18 years Jenna has dedicated her life to teaching special need children, specializing working with kid roughly eleven-years old. An age that somehow seems to fall through the cracks with many taking no interest. A point of view that most would not entertain from a person hanging out at a grungy sports bar. I take careful notes, noticing things like the healthy Peach Yogurt she is carrying, planning on eating it while her comrade’s down other more intoxication beverages.

We are interrupted mid interview, when politely she redirects an aggressive fellow, seemingly not wanting to have the topic at hand polluted by loud distractions.

She goes on to expand that what is important to her is being able to separate her acting decisions from her pursuits in helping special children to build healthy self-esteem. Encouraging them to work hard and not be lazy. When we talk of this aspect of her life, I see great pride and compassion in her continence as she states, “I want them to succeed.”

I can tell by the look on her face that her life has not been easy, and that she is a fighter. We speak of many more things. Too many to write in my allotted word count commitment. Even now I am close to 400 words over my targeted 1000 or less writing rule.

I do so with purpose.

Many of my entries have touched on the topic: “We cannot judge a book by its cover.”

This afternoon as I approached, even interrupted, a group of friends enjoying their weekend leisure, perhaps I am the one to be judged.

To again quote Jenna, “Life is tough for everybody, but some make it a bigger deal than it has to be. They forget about each other, overreact and disregard the fact that we are all in this life together.”

Words to ponder?!

SideWalk Ghosts / Interview 37: “Please Salute Our At Home Heroes”

For those of you who don’t know what spinning is. Put this in your mind: One hour of high intensity peddling, ever-changing grades of resistance, high tempo music and a room full of riders pushing to burn calories. 500 to 800 calories to be exact. Add to that a drill sergeant barking motivation to you, and you have 50% of the picture.

The other 50% you can only get by attending a spinning class. No lie, it’s an extreme workout. I know, I teach it six times a week.

I end my class today, and as I prepare to leave, one of the clubs new instructors asks me for some advise on setting up the audio system. Takes us about fifteen minutes. I find out that not only is she a spinning instructor, but also a yoga power woman. Her smile is radiant and there is a something about her that beckons me to invite her to 365.

I show her the project and she tells me that she is not that interesting. I ensure her that she most likely has a personal story or wisdom to share. “I have seen it time after time in many of my past interviews.” Plus, there is something about her that tells me she has a very special message. So I leave the offer hanging in the air.

We focus back on setting the stereo, somewhere in the middle of audio check, the 365 mission becomes mutual.

Meet Anne, a remarkable woman… soon you will know just how remarkable.

Not wanting to distract her from her pre-class warm-up, I grab a few fun shot of her checking the bike. I’m telling you this girl is in amazing condition. I take first actions in photographing her before drill sergeant mode kicks in. She counters with a full-out standing sprint, smile on face… NO LIE, SMILE ON FACE! She’s not human, most mortals in the same situation would be grimacing as if being chased by a rabid badger.

Sprint over, it’s time for a grinding climb. With heavy resistance pressing back against her pedals, she comfortably relaxes her torso, and here we go, that motivating smile again. Oh the pain of it all! I think? Her class better watch out, they’ll be putty in her hands before they know it. And by the pace of her effort, will be putty on the floor by the end of class. What a way to burn calories, being smiled into submission. Even though I teach, I’ve got to take one of Anne’s classes. I need to be humbled.

Don’t get me wrong, it’s not all smiles in Anne’s class, that’s just her hook, once she has you, the real drill begins. Her comforting expressing magically changes as the class gains intensity, and at that point, you are totally in, nowhere to go except to complete your one hour of pain and exhilaration. And the best part, you want to!

But this is only the wrapping to Anne’s story. True, she is a poster child for fitness. But what is deeper than her physical ability is her devotion to country and husband.

You see, Anne is a military wife. One in thousands of unsung heroes.

It’s easy for us civilian folk to recognize the men and women in uniform. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve shook the hands of those who sacrifice so much to preserve our freedoms, and I ask you to please take moment of pause to thank them for their efforts.

Yet, in seeing our uniformed protectors, we are only seeing half the picture. For many of them the sacrifice is more than risking personal life and limb, they leave loving families behind as they serve. These unsung heroes are not always easily spotted and deserve as much praise as their far away spouses. They are not martyrs for loneliness, but promoters of freedom, joining their spouses with great courage and willingness to sacrifice all.

Unless you have served or have had a family member serve, there is no way you can completely understand this sacrifice. I thought I did, until today.

As Anne and I begin our interview, the phone rings, it’s her husband with news regarding his recent deployment. There is a dream on the horizon, a possible mission that would place him permanently in San Diego, giving them the chance to finally start a life under one roof. Bad news, the San Diego deployment may not happen.

The military life is one that changes in a moments notice. Although saddened, the spirit of Anne’s disappointment is content. I can hear the love and pride of husband in every word she shares.

My eyes tear ups as Anne talks, “I am so proud of my husband, he is always smiling and thinking of others. The most positive man I know. And when things are down, he is there to pick me up. I married a good man. I am blessed and honored to be with him.”

After hearing this, I will never view a military man or woman the same. Yes, they will still get my families applaud. But one thing is for certain, if they are wearing a wedding ring, I will not forget to say, “my prayers are with you and your family.

God Bless, those who protect our freedoms, and their families who so selflessly support them.

I welcome your feedback on this post.

SideWalk Ghosts / Interview 34: Live, Life, Laughter

Tonight I spend the evening with my daughter. We decide to take a 365 drive, not thinking of any route, just seeing who we run into.

We stop here and there to chat with a few people. Great conversations of community and purpose, but none are willing to step in front of the camera. Still, they express their interest in the project and give my the high-five to keep going. Encouragement is always welcome, so readers, please comment.

With over a month of 365 behind me, I’ve met some very interesting people. Yet, with eleven months to go, I’m not even close to completion.

You need to know that your feedback and referrals are so important to not only the 365 mission, but literally to my moral. Please don’t be shy, subscribe and give feedback.

Tonight we have been driving endlessly, looping through the Valley. Feeling a little road weary, we settle to rest at Woodland Hills Park.

As my daughter and I stroll through the park, I notice she is starting to buy into the spirit of 365. It’s really sweet being by her side, and her influence is guiding me at this point of the day.

She contributes with comments like, “Daddy, I’m not feeling that we should shoot the soccer players, how about trying to meet the people in the office?” Very in-tune and observant ideas for an 8-year old. I really love this kid. She is my hero.

I’m not going to lie to you. Even with the passion I have for 365, at times I do get stressed with it, and I’m feeling it this night. We’ve been roaming for over two hours, searching for approachable friends.

I can’t help but to think to myself, “what damage am I putting on my family, spending so much of our personal time with this project?”

Luckily, I have their blessing. Plus, I have to say, this project truly is maturing my family. I’m sure we’ll touch more on that topic as the year progresses.

So here I am, daughter in hand, wandering through Woodland Hills Park. I’m tired and getting a bit blurry eyed, when she sights a family sitting at a barely lit table, dimmed by lights blocked by surrounding trees.

Remember, her first words this evening as we entered the park are primarily a do not list. So when she turns to me and says, “I’ve got a good feeling, how about taking pictures of them?” I have to listen.

I confess, my first instinct is to not bother them. Something creepy about walking up out of the darkness of the trees, asking, “can I take your photo?” But there is no way I’m going to burst my daughters bubble. She is really wanting to contribute.

Respectfully I approach them, daughter by my side, hoping my first impression will be appreciated as the non-confrontational family man that I am. We begin a light conversation, and it’s then that I discover just how stressed I am from 33 days of 365 pressure, and just how in tune my lovely daughter is.

The second I extend the 365 invite to our new friends; Hope, June and their children, all eyes light up with enthusiasm… mixed with a touch of embarrassment. I assure them of my intent, give them an iPad tour of past blog entries and we are on the same page.

What we encounter is a most pleasant neighborly visit with two of the most down to earth people. It’s like family time at the park with new friends. My daughter is happily playing with their four children; Hope’s daughter (age 7) and son (age 9) and June’s daughter (age 7) and son (age 9). My kid fits right in at age 8.

I am overwhelmed by their grace and hospitality, even to the point of June buying me a bottle of water. Not something many of us would consider doing for an absolute stranger. It is at that moment I realize the reason I’m supposed to be here. I’m needing to give myself permission to back of a touch and smell the roses. Not only in relaxing my 365 intensity, but in life.

They speak with an appreciate the simple things of life perspective. Hearing it prompts me to consider my attitude in all that I do.

It is so easy to get so caught up in our successes, and even our failures, that we stop considering the most basic priorities. June and Hope radiate a quality of peaceful optimism. And the simple gesture of cold water to my daughter and I solidify our respect for their example.

We discuss work histories, stresses to successes, concluding that the glass is always at least half full. Looking at the smiles on their faces as we talk. I’m sure both of these special ladies hold this point-of-view close in their hearts.

Family first and friendship is the undertone I pick up as Hope tells me of her family dreams and support of June’s talents.

I’m told that June is a high honors college graduate with incredible artistic talent. June blushes as we go on to talk about her specialty, ceramics. I extend the offer to publish her artwork on this blog and look forward to her taking me up on the offer. Her dream being to one day have a gallery exhibition. If any of you out there are interested in seeing her ceramics, let me know?  I’m sure would love the affirmation.

They leave us with this advice.

“Don’t stress on wanting too much. Life is not about accumulating material possessions. It’s more about being grateful for what you have”

It’s almost midnight, time to stop writing and decompress.

Until Tomorrow.

SideWalk Ghosts / Interview 33: “Get Off Your Butt and Exercise!”

It’s been an incredibly long day. Rise early, shoot SCE campaign, wrap day and the return last of unused supplies.

This evening I’m traveling with my friend, and crew member, Danny. Having finalized the unpacking of a rented van, we set path for home.

As we drive, Danny, knowing of my 365 projects, says! “Look there is someone riding a bike.”

My first reaction is to decline the sighting, leaning on my third commandment of 365, “Thou shalt not chase someone down!” I’ll tell you some other time of commandment one and two.

Ah! what the heck here they are now. Commandment one, “never bother a person while they are eating!” Commandment two, “do not approach someone at work if it looks like they will lose their job!”

Back to the story. A beat passes; seeing no other photo option on the horizons, the hour getting very late and with empty streets all around, I relent to my first instinct and loop around the block to investigate.

Picture us, two tired looking guys, in a cargo van, traveling a conservative middle class suburban neighborhood late in the evening. Somewhat suspect, isn’t it?

Of course it is. We look just like an abduction team. I’m preparing for a night of utter rejection, at least as long as we are in this ride.

On the horizon we spot our target. One man, one bike, two dogs and one very dark street. I slow the van to a mere roll and match his pace. The window down, I call out, “excuse me” expecting a strong, get lost!

I introduce myself, Danny and 365. As expected, he questions my intent and requests to see the blog. Thank you technology, I can answer right on the spot.

iPad in tow, I accommodate his request. Five minute later we are deep in conversation and again I find myself in the right place at the right time.

Please say hello to Mario and his two walking buddies, dogs Trojan (named after the horse, not the condoms) and Punky.

The street is extremely dark and we chat by light provided by Chevy. Mario has a rich history of overcoming life’s obstacles and proves to be yet another testament to life rebuilt.

A changed man, Mario holds no shame in sharing with us the fact that he is a past criminal, completing his parole in 2006. He states, “I’m keeping my head straight and never want to lose my freedom again.”

We find this out when Danny asks him, “what was your first thought when we drove up?” He answers, “I did not know if you were law enforcement. I have a criminal record.” What impresses me is the respect in his tone regarding the law. Very humble, accepting and peacefully confident. I see a man of experience, with no chip on his shoulder at all. Better than many I know with the cleanest of history.

He speaks with a profound and open countenance and we find out that his life is completely committed to helping others. Be it through his growing physical training business, Corona Workouts, (after all, a man has to make a living) or through the volunteer service he provides in sharing his story with local organizations and schools. He talks as a banner citizen, with enthusiasm for his future.

Both Danny and I are struck by the physical fitness of Mario as he reflects on his outlook regarding health.

“Physical exercise is the key to happiness, and those missing out on it are setting themselves up for problems.”

He goes on, “Too many people rely on drugs and fad diets, rather than just practicing good nutrition and physical activity,”

“Did you know, 2/3’s of all Americans are overweight,” a frightening fact, and one that motivates Mario to build his business.

He shares the importance of good food and balanced activity, and follows a one with nature point of view. So much so, that his life dream is to own an organic farm, where he can not only produce the finest of product, but educate the public in healthy living practices.

I am impressed with his perspective and example of a life turned. Mario is proof of the power of physical training and positive mind-set.

He leaves us with a few challenges and promises:

One (simple and to the point)
“Get off your butt and exercise!”

Two
“If you stay in shape, I promise good things will happen!” And he can back it up with his story.

Three:
“Keep your mind open!”

and Four (my favorite)
“Talk to your neighbors!”

Mario, Thanks for talking to us tonight!

Now I’m off to do my sit-ups!

Readers, get down and give me ten!

Talk tomorrow!