portraiture

I’m listening to the radio; a story comes on about an obscure year-end holiday, Krampuslauf, an Austrian celebration that takes place every December 5^th.

Where on the eve of St. Nicholas’s Day, Austrians celebrate the Krampuslauf (Krampus Run). In folklore, the Krampus is a devilish companion of St. Nicholas who punishes bad children just as St. Nicholas rewards good ones. The Krampus, represented by costumed revelers, is usually depicted as a dark, hairy, cloven-hooved beast with red horns, a leering mouth, chains and a switch.

It’s like this; Krampus and Saint Nicholas work a kind of good cop-bad cop routine. Saint Nick rewards the good children; Krampus terrorizes the bad.

Really, Santa in a good cop, bad cop deal. Not too sure if I buy it?

Terrorize children into making right choices. Sure, I guess, if done in good fun.

I do a bit of Google searching and find the face of the Krampus hideous and the energy of the event more like a Mardi Gras, or at least an amped up Halloween. A fun thing to research, but in the end, I like my version of Christmas and Hanukkah just the way they are, a loving celebration of light and faith.

Why do I share all this? I don’t know? But somehow it does relate to a thought shared with me by one of today’s friends, Shari.

I run into her in my family shopping rounds when my wife suggests, “We are going to the dollar store, after last nights story of Lucy, and her work for women’s rights, you might want to interview the ladies that are taking donations outside the store.”

I really love my wife; she is way inspired and brings me up to speed, “They are out every year collecting contributions for the local women’s shelter. I bet an interview from one of them would be a great follow up to Lucy’s story.”

Normally I would not quest an angle, but Lucy’s mission so rocked my world, that following my wife’s suggested thread just feels right in my heart.

So with the knowledge of controlled dollar shopping happening, always scary to let my nine year old loose to spend in any store, I say hello to Shari.

Back to the Krampus and it’s mission to scare children into doing right. I’m grasping here, but think of the Krampus as an anti-humanitarian, teaching kids to fear, or possibly tempt them to cover up their mistakes in cheating to get rewarded for being good.

Enters Shari the Krampus killer, all is well!

Her wishes for the children: “We need to make the world a better place. Take care of it for the younger generation, and we need to do it before it’s too late. I remember these words from my parents, and it is important for us all to pass that wisdom on.”

What’s even more cool about Shari is her work, raising funds for homeless and abused women, that includes their children. What a link to Lucy’s work.

“I have two kids of my own, a 22 year old and a 20 year old. Both of them know how I feel about the future,” Shari states.

She goes on to give me her observances of society. “I’ve been setting up here for six years. I see a lot people come in and out of the stores. Too many of them are stressed and not even looking up at each other. It’s a shame that at a time of year which is all about love, faith and family, I see too many people who do not see each other.”

Her message in that observation: “People need to slow down and notice each other. They sometimes just look through me, that makes me sad for them.”

Sad for them, not hurt, no angry, sad for them. The holidays really do bring out the best and worst, don’t they?

So I say, squash the Krampus! Long live good old Saint Nick!

My daughter is now standing by my side, happy to say, with only a small shopping bag. I look at her, then back at Shari, “Thank your for telling your kids that to take care of the world. In a way, they are responsible for the planet my daughter will be living on. You are teaching them well.”

Shari is full of love, it radiates from her. As we talk several people slip folded bills into her donation box. She responds to them with a warm thank you.

Suddenly, I’m surrounded by several homeless men and women, all very well kept and articulate. “Shari smiles huge, “You’ve got to interview Wendy, she’ll have a lot to say.”

Before I can say hello, I’m engulfed by the biggest hug I have experienced in years. “I’m a hugger, I hope you don’t mind. Any friend of Shari’s is a friend of mine. What’s you name?” Wendy exuberantly exclaims as she introduces herself.

There is a special spirit about Wendy, and accompanied by an enormous sense of humor, she carries a mantle of safety about her. What do I mean mantle of safety? She is a protector, I can just tell. I knew it in her hug, and by the respect she receives by Shari and the others I am introduced to.

New faces are descending on me. What are you taking pictures for? Great idea! Can I be in it? Yet there is one fart-in-the-divers suit. The driver of the shuttle that is transporting my new friends back to the shelter, seems he is suffering a terrible case of horn hand.

But even with the rush to take photos and interview, we find enough time to talk about the purpose of 365 and why I’m doing the project. The honking is now getting aggressive and frequent.

With a politely delivered, “We’ll be there in a second.” Wendy calms the storm for a minute or two.

We do get time for her to share a few rather deep thoughts:

“The Bible say, be obedient.”

“Listen to your mom and dad and your days will be longer on earth.”

“Keep your eyes focused on good.”

“We will all be together in the new Jerusalem.”

On the lighter side:

I’m homeless, but living with my Niece. If anyone has a house for me, I would be greatly appreciative?”

Honks are unstoppable now. Time to run.

The Social Network has made the world a much smaller planet. Hold that thought for later, but for now I’m going to give you a little confession. Yes, I’ll admit it, even though I remember the days of the fax machine, and admit to having received one or two documents via messenger, I have embraced the cloud, at least mostly.

“Mostly.”

Sure, blogs are cool, websites are a must, Twitter is an interesting hello, and Facebook a nice way to reach out; but as a meeting place, sort of creepy to me. Maybe I’ve been jaded by the personal newspaper ads of the 80’s, “Hi my name creepy, call me for friendship or whatever.” Yeah, right. I’m picking the phone up right away.

Today my virtual world has been rocked when I run into one of the most fascinating, brave and powerful humanitarians in my circle of friend. Maybe I’ve been a hypocrite in some way. Yes, I do use the Social Network to share my global projects, and in building a following for 365. For that purpose I’ve spend 30 minutes a day throwing invites. But that has been my limit, “invites only.”

So for me to actually cold message someone is a little scary. Almost 700 friends in my Facebook, and when I looked at it yesterday, top of the list was Lucy, Director of Anti-Human Trafficking Campaign.

Director of Anti-Human Trafficking Campaign: The title digs deep into me. I must get involved; I’ve traveled too much, seen to many things and instantly know that in a vicarious way, I have silently met a hero for the world. I must invite her to 365.

With trepidation, I craft my 365 invite with this close, “I promise I’m not scary, a married man with an 9 year old daughter. Really, I rarely message on Facebook. Your humanitarian work just caught my eye.”

Man, I’m a nerd; she’s going to blast back, “Sure buddy, see you in China.

But the 365 jitters told me, “Richard, you have to take the chance.” I press the send button and jump back into my daily business. An ugly task awaits me, a call to the bank to replace my lost credit card. I’m sure you’ve been there.

I make the call and as I begin my journey into voice prompt hell, Lucy responds with an empowering acceptance of 365. I’m humbled.

I dump my bank nightmare, immediately call her, and we have a very brief conversation. One thing I instantly know, Lucy is amazing, powerful and strongly committed to her mission.

She kindly informs me, “I’ve just returned from a month in Tunisia covering the elections so a bit in over my head with all the catching up I need to do, and tomorrow I’m giving a presentation at the Skirball Cultural Centers, Half the Sky exhibit.”

Realizing I’ve met a new friend of greatness, I offer to interview her at the Skirball. She graciously accepts, and not wanting to pollute the spontaneity of a first meeting,

we leave it at that.

To the Skirball I go, joyfully greeting the heavy traffic of an Interstate 405 under heavy construction (another story in itself).

I arrive fifteen minutes prior to Lucy’s presentation. Today’s audience, a group of high school students, the literal future of the world. My personal take, “If change is going to happen, we have to start with the youth, they are the leaders of what’s to come, for better or worse, the planet is in their hands.”

Lucy is not alone; beside her is Daisy, her lovely daughter. I’m instantly smitten to see a mother daughter together in preparing to share a difficult topic and challenge to young minds.

The Topic: The darkness of Human Trafficking and its relation to the horrors of prostitution.

The Call To Action: “Get involved in speaking out.”

The presentation is brief, but her delivery is spot on and at a perfect level for the audience. Lucy, talks of the scale of illegal Human Trafficking, a multi billion-dollar industry that destroys the lives of the women it exploits. She credits its growth to the greed and inhumanity of the money hungry corrupters of human rights, and poses a solution, Stronger laws that will prosecute all who commit the atrocities of stealing the rights, esteem, bodies and futures of so many.

It is shattering to know that most of the worlds brothels are filled with innocent young teens working against their will, most of whom are victims of dysfunctional families, or, worse yet, literally sold into slavery by abusive parents at ages as young as pre-teen.

Lucy is direct in her dialogue and no punches are pulled. The facts are laid out and the room intently listens. There is no texting, no cross talking and no interruptions. At the end of it all, Lucy eloquently answers a set of well-constructed questions from the students.

With presentation over and the room clearing, I get the opportunity to sit with Lucy and Daisy.

I offer my camera to Daisy and as Lucy and I talk, Daisy is busy snapping away. She is obviously proud of her mom.

Lucy asks me, “Do you think they got it, I saw a lot of black stares.” Both Daisy and I chime in, “They got it, look at the questions they asked.”

What I witness is nothing short of spectacular. A woman passionate to make a difference, and humble enough to question, “Did I say the right things.” My view, Lucy is a soldier for justice.

Her orders are universal, “Stop the cruelty, save the lives.”

There is so much she has enlightened us with, and not all of it is dark or negative. She tells of an organization she works with. One that trains women rescued from the brothels. Teaching them skills that their captures denied them. Things like basic secretarial and phone abilities that allow them to work with the good police. They are able to understand and empathize when taking incoming calls from victims of Human Trafficking and prostitution. What a great way to help these women heal: Helping others in the same situation they themselves escaped.

It’s a great start to fixing a major problem, and demonstrates that the corrupt systems can be altered in giving self-respect and dignity back to those who have been condemned by the trade that they were forced into. This is a seed to the beginnings of change.

Lucy shares a statistic, “Ten years ago when I started this journey, not many were even aware of Human Trafficking, now it is globally exposed and some laws are slowly changing.”

She challenges us all, “Use the social network, tell the world what is going on, and share messages for human rights. You are powerful and your word can be heard. With many voices comes awareness and change.”

Lucy talks of the power of one and challenges us all to reach deep into ourselves, to escape our own minds, and to have the fortitude to do our part in helping the oppressed. I am inspired and am completely engaged in her mission.

True, for some, like Lucy, it’s time to roll up the sleeves and do the physical work. But there is also much softer work to be done. Lucy is talking about a universal awareness. She talks of her philosophy of the strength of words, and the words of many, even one individual, are a powerful thing.

With this, Lucy is not asking all of us to travel to Tunisia, to invest countless dollars or time, she is not even asking us to step out of our home. What she is asking us is simply this, in my words, “Speak out against the injustice of the oppression being burdened upon the women of whom such atrocities are happening. Have compassion for them, they are victims and deserve a chance at life. Do your part in telling the world. Awareness brings change. The corrupt inhumane money mongers must be removed, and the laws that protect them need to be we-written to prosecuted them.”

Here is one startling fact. The charge for a pimp (the guy beating 13 year-old into submission) – Pandering, a basic misdemeanor. That sickens me.

Do my part? Now I know why I stopped today in my Facebook browse. There is a reason Lucy is found at the top of my cue. If you believe that things happen for a reason, then possibly, the stars have aligned today in my not so chance meeting with Lucy.

But whatever it is. This entry is happening, and I pray that it gets the traffic it deserves. Please pass it on. As Lucy says, “Even the voice of one is powerful.”

In her words, “My goal is to inspire those who have chosen mediocrity out of fear to reach beyond themselves. Way past their comfort zone into a life of adventure and meaning. If one person can change the lives of millions causing tons of destruction (think about dictators), so too can one individual change the world for the better. Or we can sit by and watch from the sidelines, allowing complacency (fear) to rule. It’s our choice.”

Lucy, I’m going to break one of my editorial rules for you today, that rule: To be politically, socially and religiously neutral.

LUCY. GOD BLESS YOU, MY PRAYERS ARE WITH YOU, AND EVEN MORESO FOR THE WOMEN YOU ARE FIGHTING SO HARD TO PROTECT.

One last note:

From time-to-time I have promoted small business, individuals or an initiative. Of all so far, Lucy has gotten deeply under my skin. She asks for no charity. This call is completely of my doing.

She needs your support. A single mom with three great well-adjusted and loving kids. Daisy has proven that to me today.

For ten years, Lucy has self-funded her work, sacrificing much to follow a path that she knows is her call in life. Her tenacity, endurance, intelligence and grace are remarkable, and her mission is relevant.

Lets kick in and help her out. I started the ball rolling today by donating a few bills to her cause. If you would like to contribute to her fight for the freedoms of those trapped into the literal slavery of Human Trafficking, please email me with this simple subject line: “YES, I’m IN.”

Put the amount you propose to contribute into the body of the email. If I receive enough responses, and the total is worthwhile. I’ll do one of two things:

1) Set up a PayPal to process contributions and get them to Lucy (I need to check with my accountant before I commit).

OR

2) Get you in touch directly with Lucy.

EMAIL ME AT RICHARD@RICHARDRADSTONE.COM

Lucy, Please forgive me if I am being too forward in working to find contributors. I just believe in what you are doing.

In the paraphrased words of so many throughout 365. Let’s make the world a better place and help each other out.

Good night my friends.

Hope, Faith, Peace, Love, Belief: Hardly the words you would find in a place of fighting. Right?

If you have ever practiced martial arts, perhaps these words resonate with you, or perhaps not? I guess that depends on the discipline and respect of the Master you are studying under.

Hope, Faith, Peace, Love, Belief: Sure maybe you’d see them at a fairy tale martial arts studio. That is farthest from the truth tonight as I arrive at my 365 destination, TKC, a hard-core martial arts fighting and training center.

All around me are signs and displays with assortments of visual and written affirmations. The aforementioned text: Hope, Faith, Peace, Love, Belief, all part of a photo I see displayed on a video monitor hovering over the mat; And, at the center of it all, Master Azhakh, 6^th degree blackbelt.

I’d be a liar if I said I found my way here by chance. I’m here at the direction of my producer Michaelbrent. A blackbelt himself, he has set-up a meeting between myself and his Master, the same Fariborz Azhakh.

With no martial arts experience to my history, I gladly take the suggestion and only 20 minute after the meeting is set up, I find myself right in the middle of the nights training at Master Azhakh’s studio, TKC (Team Karate Center).

The establishment has been here for years, a very understated entrance leads into a very well equipped set of studios. All around me are trophies, golden belts and tributes the many blackbelts that have graced the mats of TKC. There is nothing out of place. I am in a shrine to perfection.

Perfection is a bold statement, one that is not expressed to me in words. Yet it is impossible for me to not perceive it. But what is beautiful about this perfection is it’s exact order and humility.

On the walls are various statements of the studio, handed down from its founding Master’s and still in effect through the example of Master Azhakh. His wishes for his students are prominently displayed and obviously honored.

A posted philosophy reads:

“Take no thought of who is right or wrong or who is better. Be not for or against. For in the landscape of Spring there is neither better or worse. The flowering branches grow naturally, some long and some short.”

A student mission is outlined:

“I intend. To develop myself in a positive manner and avoid anything that would reduce my mental growth and physical health.

I intend to develop self-discipline to bring out the best in myself and others.

I intend to use what I learn in class constructively and defensively to help myself and fellow man and never be obtrusive or offensive.”

And all students are bound to a common creed:

“To build true confidence through knowledge in the mind, honesty in the heart, and strength in the body.

To keep friendship with one another and to build a strong and happy community.

Never fight to achieve selfish ends but to develop might for right.”

I am intrigued by the last phrase of the creed: Never fight to achieve selfish ends but to develop might for right.

I take this all in while observing Master Azhakh working with an evening class of athletes at various stages of their advancement. It is a full throttle workout. I watch it for ninety minutes, not realizing jus how long it has been under way. I later ask one of its participants, “How long was that workout?” Soaked in sweat he says, “I have no idea, I lost track.”

I’m an endurance cyclist; I know exactly what he is saying by stating his loss of time. The man has been worked.

What is amazing is the focus of the students and the unwavering respect they show for Master Azhakh. All push without fail, and when called upon, respond without hesitation in an acknowledging bow, “Yes Sir,” I continually hear, Yes Sir, as Master addresses and adjusts his students form and effort.

There is no student here by force. I’m sure they are paying a precious dollar for the pain that is being placed upon them. Why?

It is summed up for me when one of the students approach me, “Did you take a photo of those pictures?” (regrettably, I did not). This student, Robert, goes on to tell me, “I’ve been here since the beginning of the studio. Look at those photos.” He point to a set of six photos placed center to the room and high on the wall. “They are the generations of Masters.” At the top are three great blackbelts; below them are three more. You got it, Master Azhakh and two others. That’s why they are here, a Master only one generation from great masters. This is the real deal!

I quickly learn of the honor of lineage and this must be the reason why so many are lining up to train with Master Azhakh.

One would think that someone with this power of influence and craft would be large, bold and aggressive, all the opposite of the master of TKC.

Master Azhakh looks just like any of us. I see no oversized arms, no aggressive personality and only a desire to help others.

Class ends and I get some time with the Master. His priorities are simple:

Be at peace with myself, my family and my studio; and from there allow myself to reach out to my community, my country and the world.

“The world? Richard, I thought you said Master Azhakh is a humble man, the world!?”

The key to his answer? Read the words literally, “reach out,” not proclaim, not shout, not fight for, but simply and humbly, ‘reach out’”

He states, “It’s more about private victories, not about focusing on public victories.” Well what ever Master is doing, it’s gotten him a 6^th degree blackbelt and a loyal following of students, all of whom are on the same path to being a positive influence on the world. This is the second martial arts studio I have encountered during 365, and I think I’m starting to get the message.

In the words of Master Azhakh, “You can cheat to be right, but that does not mean you are always doing the right thing.”

Character and competency are core to the training at TKC. To quote the Master, “Martial Arts can benefit all ages, but if not backed up by technique, knowledge and character, it is no good. I am all for peace, but not against violence. The balance is understanding self-defense. Not in defending against others, but self-defense against oneself. From there, good decisions are made in defending oneself and mastering control.”

The veil is thinning, the studios name, TKC – Team Karate Center? or it is TKC? – Technique, Character, Knowledge.

School is almost out for me. I have spent several hours with a master of body, art and discipline. Almost to the end of our interview Master Azhakh shares this thought:

“Who you are is what you do.”

He delivers me this though as his students are leaving the studio for the evening. With yet another set of respectful bows, all of them depart with the same heartfelt words. “Thank you Sir.”

He responds with equal grace.

In my parting Master asks me to give one challenge to my readers. To ponder this question:

“What is the difference between doing something right and doing the right thing?”

Master Azhakh, “Thank you for the challenge Sir!”

It is beyond me how almost three months have passed since starting 365. Time has flown by and I’ve lost mental count of the many experiences it has brought to me. I have met amazing people, all of whom have shared knowledge, wisdom and words that have hopefully edified us all.

For almost ninety days I’ve been a study of humanity. Not for the purpose of self-gain, to impress ego or for the pursuit of commercialism. But for one pure intent: To better understand my fellow man, and to hopefully unite us all in some way. I know, a grand call, but one none-the-less that impassions me.

This project has been a monumental offshoot to the work I am normally commissioned to do, and I am loving every sleep-deprived minute of it. The journey is still beginning, we’re only twenty five percent there, nine more months to go. Stay with me, things are just warming up.

With the December chill comes the approach of a new year. 2012 is right around the corner, and as we get closer to January One, I am noticing a shift in the general perspective of those I approach. The extremes are strengthening, acceptances are getting warmer and rejections are becoming more frequent.

My guess, as most of us do at years end, many are starting to reevaluate their lives, and in doing so, emotions become highly external or at least more open to exposure.

Last nights grifting scam and the yelling wife were particularly difficult situations, and, I have to admit, my 365 knees are a little weak today. I’ve driven aimlessly for almost two hours, my body is physically uptight and my mind is blurred. In essence, I’m a little lost, maybe even a touch apprehensive as to where to travel.

Two hours behind the wheel in circling a ten-mile route. I can wander no more, and with a Starbuck’s on the horizon, the time to stop for a decaf pick-me-up has come.

There is nothing better than a hot drink on a cold night to regenerate the heart and refresh the spirit. Luck is with me in finding a parking spot directly in front of the store. And as I pull in, I see a group of three men sitting outside, in the cold, enjoying conversation and hot beverage. Perhaps they will be interested in 365.

Even though I am fully vested in the project, and have a list of incredibly positive experiences, I sometimes do feel like a tremendous intruder in walking up to complete strangers, “Hi, my name is…”

So tonight, when I am met, at first, with silent faces, not “yes”s, but not “no”s, I wonder if I have stepped to aggressively into an established conversation. I let my introduction hang for a second and sense an acceptance to my presence.

With the wall down and no expectations for an interview, I figure I can at least share the findings of past interviews, a few of the comments I have received from my 365 friends and the impact they have all had on my life.

“How long will it take?” They ask. It’s cold and I respect the question. “Ten maybe fifteen minutes,” I respond.

“Sounds interesting. Sure. Why not.” They are in.

I do my best to respect their time, and perhaps their desire to find warmer grounds. I jump right in, taking a very quick series of candid photos.

“Three minutes down, seven minutes to go,” I tell myself. Got to pat myself on the back, I’m getting crazy fast in figuring out light and composition. That in itself has been a daunting task in 365.

Photos down, I sit to chat with my new friends, Leroy, his son Joe, and his nephew Ryan. All are engaged in the project, but at first struggle for words.

Joe goes first, “Where will I be in five years?” Huge pause, “All I can say is the future won’t be like today.”

Ryan contributes, “I’m with him, things are tough right now.”

We talk for a while, sharing life perspectives, and as we do, the clock stops counting. Somehow we find ourselves all on the same page. The concerns for time have passed by.

This in itself is a confirmer to me that, no matter who steps up to 365, the scale of the project is far reaching.

My fears from the following evening have passed and here I am again, associating with more great people. I am affirmed in what 365 has consistently revealed to me. That is, most are in quest for the same thing: A better world.

What is intriguing about our chat, even though we are talking of difficulties, is the positive attitude to the topics we have embraced.

Leroy, who until this moment has been intently listening, speaks up, “I take solace in hope for the future. It is going to be good. I know that. There is always hope, and God made us for a purpose. I’m sure it is going to get worse before it gets better, but it will get better.”

It is apparent that Leroy is a good man, a powerful father and uncle. It is a really cool thing to stumble upon a father who is involved enough to take time to chill with his adult son and nephew. The impression they leave with me is impactful. Family first, and from there things will work out.

Must be thirty minutes into our time and now I am starting to be influenced by the bite of the cold air. Time to draw our interview to a close.

I ask, “Is there anything else you would like to share with my audience.”

Joe steps to the stage, “I’m a writer, if there is one thing I’ve learned, that is to take value in more than external validation. The real value is in the experience of what you are doing. Always focus on the end game, do what you want and not to seek validation.”

We exchange our sign offs.

To Quote Leroy, “Tell them you met a Motley Crew.”

I’m out with my family tonight. We stop to get gas and are approached by a desperate looking woman. “Please can you help me, We need to get home to Pomona, and we don’t have enough gas.”

I’m not sure if I have sucker written all over my face or I’m just charitable. Either way, It’s close to the holidays, and why not give a little. I tell her I’ll put $10 of gas in her car. Even though I’m very skeptical, I’m a man of my word, so I give them the gas. It’s the holidays after all.

But here is what get’s to me. I’m putting the fuel in their car, when I realize all the inhabitants are knocking back freshly cracked Red Bulls. At over two bucks a can, I know I’m getting duped, I quickly stop pumping. I’m done. I did my part, the sin is on them. If they are grifters, all I can do is hope they change their ways soon.

I try to give them a chance for redemption in inviting them to 365. What a surprise, they decline with a, “We’re sick.”

Within minutes they are after another target. A senior citizen who is pumping at the next station. These people are shameless. I’ve not even left the parking lot and they are onto mark two.

One thing I need to mention. My exploiting friends have one of my business cards. So this note is to them:

“I hold no grudge. But recommend that you do some deep self-examination as to your contribution to society. Ask yourself this, ‘What good am I doing for the world today? Sweet dreams.'”

Now back to the story. I approach the senior to whom my unnamed friends are soliciting, my goal, to be sure they take not a cent of his money. Well he is smarter than I, and is on to them, not a cent in exchanged. The grifters exit, leaving me with today’s 365 friend, Lawrence.

Lawrence is very gracious, but due to circumstances, he only has time for an extremely brief chat. I’m not even sure I can call it a chat. Lawrence is in a great hurry, his wife has been patiently waiting in the car, and it is obvious that she would rather be elsewhere.

I do my best to quickly give my regular introduction to 365: An explanation accompanied by an iPad sampling. We get through that, and Lawrence is engaged and intrigued. Time for questions. Well, what I really need to say is, “question.”

That’s pretty much all I get, “one question.”

But still, one question deserves one answer.

The question:
“What words of wisdom would you like to share?”

The answer:
“Stay Alive.”

It’s a start, I’ve had bumpier beginnings, but as I begin to crack my mouth with question two, the passenger door flies open, “Let’s go, I don’t want to have my picture taken,” Lawrence’s wife has met her wit’s end and is ready to go home. I appreciate her request and halt my interview, knowing if I press harder I am most likely putting myself, and Lawrence, at risk.

So appreciating the wisdom of I have gained this night, I lean on Lawrence’s council of “Stay Alive.” And the best way to do that is to honor thy wife.

I learn two lessons this evening.

Never give gas to grifters drinking Red Bull.

and

I don’t think I’m scared of carnies anymore.

Lawrence, thanks for the short interview tonight. You have a great sense of humor, and I hope you and your wife got home safely.

On any given night, in any given city, at any given time, there are amazing secret happenings. Silent acts of giving, compassion and of service to humanity. No selfless deed is unrewarded, and tonight I meet a young lady who exemplifies works of good.

I speak regularly about my chin-up and eyes-wide-open philosophy. That is, notice your neighbors and the world around you. This point-of-view has been a driving force to 365.

It is no surprise then, when as I am driving, just one mile away from my house, I notice a large group of people crossing the street. Accompanying them are several photographers and my attention is peaked when flash of camera’s spark across my windshield.

I’m traveling at 45mph, and with a head snap, I do the best I can to discern what is the event. Whatever it is, I’m in. A quick turn around the block and back to the scene I return. It only takes me about two minutes, but as I re-pass the place of sighting: not a person in view.

I park and decide to investigate. There must have been 100 people, all gone. Could I have just stumbled upon an alien abduction? Perhaps? They can’t just disappear.

I look to the heavens and with no extra terrestrial threats looming, and now standing at ground zero, I notice several more individuals disappearing into a retirement center only ten paces to my left, I follow.

In I go, and in the blink of an eye, I am in the heart of a wonderful occasion. It’s a Christmas / Hanukkah party for the residents, and the place is packed with people. I ask a few questions and am introduced to the program director, Nicole, our 365 friend of the day.

Beautiful, young and vibrant is the best way to express first glance of Nicole. Yet there is greater depth to this special young lady than what first meets my eye, she is a giant of compassion.

This party, this evening, in this little hidden retirement center is changing lives. And from what I see, about two hundred lives. I’m not talking about the resident only, but the families and people who are in attendance as well.

And at the center of it all: Nicole.

There is music of all kinds performed by A list performers, children of all ages walk the room sharing hugs and kisses to the many lovely seniors living within the walls of this secluded slice of life.

All around me is love, and it is infectious. It is no wonder, only fifteen minutes ago; I was so taken by my first sighting of the group crossing the street. They grabbed me at a core level, deeper than the flash of the camera that first caught my eye. There was an undeniable draw. My analysis, “They are all living angels.”

I learn more of Nicole’s motivations for what she does, and why she works so hard (along with the rest of the centers staff) to prepare such a special evening. “I lost my mother when she was in her old age. She lived in a retirement home and died of Cancer. I was with her the whole way. When she passed, I promised myself that I would never let a senior citizen feel unloved or alone. And that’s why I am here.”

Her time with me is limited to a minute here and a minute there. Finding moments to chat with me as she circulates the room. I stand silent and watch her. There is not a resident that she ignores. It is obvious that they are the reason for her evening, and it is easy to see the admiration they have for her. I am touched.

Watching Nicole puts me in my place and I begin to socialize with the residents. It’s not about me anymore; it’s about honoring the many people around me, most of whom have likely formed much of the world I now exist in.

I think for a moment about my mother, a young 87 with the energy of a 20 year old. I’m a little lucky right now. She is very independent, but things could change at any time. Would I want her to be swept aside, even if she suffered Alzheimer’s; Absolutely not.

I speak with a dozen or so residents, some with all their faculties, others in various stages of dementia. Every time, searching for the presence of Nicole. Not so much to interview her, but to thank her for the work she does and inviting me to be part of this special evening. I soon will not forget this experience.

Yes, Nicole’s daily routine involves, calendars, planning events and the general operations of the activities for the community. I know, however, there is more to it than that. This is a calling for her.

A model by trade, Nicole plans on using her talents to do good. “I want to travel the world.” She says with enthusiasm. But there is one condition, “Only if I can give back.”

The key, “Give back.” Could she be taking about helping our older generations? “I think so.”

Nicole is a doer. “In tribute to my mother, I’ve set up a non-profit organization and am working on putting together a Cancer Walk in Pasadena. I want to do it in 2012.”

I promise her this. “I’ll promote your cause.”

“So readers, if any of you have lost loved ones to Cancer, and wish to help Nicole accomplish the dream of producing her 2012 Pasadena Cancer Walk. Drop me a line or comment. I’ll get you in touch with her.”

After all, “We are in this thing together.”

Nicole leaves us this council:

“Never give up. No matter how hard the situation is, let it make you get stronger.”

The through-line continues.

At day 86, all I can say is, “I’m still in” 365 has been quite the quest, and not only do I pay homage to all who have so graciously contributed in allowing me to photograph them, but to you, my readers.

Many of you have stood by my side from the beginning. From Hawaii to Philadelphia to California, you have been my companions. So as friends talk to friends, I’m speaking to you from my living room.

Tonight’s entry is going to be a little different. Here’s why. It’s 6:25pm at the moment. Pretty early on all accounts, and no reason to be discouraged. But I have to come clean, I am a touch fatigued.

For 85 days I’ve put in at least four hours a day to 365, sometimes a bit more; that on top of my regular work and family schedule is a pretty aggressive commitment. One that I am happy to do, with no regrets, the rewards are enormous.

Planning on a family evening, I started looking for my friend early today, 2:00pm to be exact, thinking I’d get a head start, and be able to write my entry before our traditional Christmas tree decorating festivities.

To my dismay, I search for three hours, by car and by foot, to find 365 friend – day 86, and, for the life of me, I cannot figure out why all are rejecting my invitations: 15 people to be exact. The conversations are pleasant, but still, no takers.

I need to let you know, I’ve got a great family, without whom there would be no way I could complete the project. Even at the moment of this writing, my nine-year-old daughter is documenting me with photos.

So here is the deal, for almost three months, my family has sacrificed not seeing me at the dinner table. It’s the first calm Saturday we have had in some time, and I want to spend a little pre-holiday time at home. But here is what we’ll do: A quick photo safari.

Our destination: Candy Cane Lane, a regular holiday route of highly decorated houses. It draws a substantial crowd of drive by traffic. And when things really heat up, many pedestrians. I’m crossing my fingers to find someone there. And when I do, chances are it’s going to be a shorter than usual interview, sort of my gift to me, and to my family.

We’re going to hold off on dinner and just go with the flow. See you in a few hours.

7:30pm: We hit Candy Cane Lane, roughly six blocks of exquisite power consumption. Have to love the holiday spirit of this neighborhood. It’s still a bit early in the season, so there are not many people in sight.

As we drive up and down the streets, the way we have done for the past ten years, my daughter enthusiastically announces, “Stop, there is a family over there, behind to bubbles.”

Sure enough, not 20 feet to the right of us we spot, high in the trees, Shann, and ground side, his lovely wife Samantha with daughter Charlotte (not pictured).

Funny how things work out. Our plan for the evening, family night. It’s a bit of serendipity that we should run into an incredibly united family. So much so that I feel a bond in parenthood as we briefly chat about family values and our children. How cool is this, It turns out to be a a family night after all, family time buried within our 365 experience. The best of all worlds. And you know what, I’m glad that my kid is getting the chance to reach out and meet people.

She is by my side, working with me in expressing the origins of 365. For a nine-year-old, she has it down and I am proud of her for her ability to communicate with new people. She is my rock star and I encourage all of us to mark her example. In a way, she is encouraging us to get our kids out in allowing them to actively meet the communities they live in. What better way to help them build self-esteem and confidence. Thanks kid!

There is an instant kinship that I feel with my new friends as they invite us onto their property.

Past the bubbles we travel, getting a close up look at the lighting assembly in progress. And even though Shann is up to his head in strings of light, he cordially steps away from his progress to take my questions.

We keep it rather brief, with Shann and Samantha each taking one of my two questions. It is a wonderful thing meeting couples that are so united in their perspectives that they can answer as one.

Shann takes the first question.

“What words do you have for the world?”

He gives us all a personal challenge. “Self evaluate yourself often, asking, am I making a positive impact on the world? Whether it be daily, weekly or monthly, just do it. We all make mistakes, that’s human nature, but as we catch them, do the work to correct them. Learn to embrace your fellow man and do correct by the world.”

Samantha’s turn, “What are you wishes for the future?”

Her response, “To see my kids happier than us?”

A huge answer. You see, at first sight I am certain that Shann and Samantha are an extremely happy couple. The smiles written all over their faces and the comfort and unity in which they exhibit is evidence of this. I am inspired by her motherly compassion and evident is her love of family.

She expands, “I want them to follow their dreams, to listen to what is in their hearts, and to be brave enough to not follow what the world tells them to do.”

As Samantha and I are talking, Shann has taken a leave of absence, returning with a front yard dinner for Charlotte. Looks like a kid’s favorite, Mac and Cheese. Being a dad, I know this menu item first hand. It is one of the culinary favorites that is within a father’s food preparing skill set, especially in this era of microwave bliss.

We finish our conversation and as we do, I take a quick self-inventory of the day (credit to Shann for getting me on path). I recall the feelings I experienced just hours before in my fatigued frustration. I link it to what I am feeling now and apply it to Shann’s earlier message. “Learn to embrace you fellow man and do correct by the world.”

365 is happening for a reason. My meeting with this special family this evening, by chance or not? I am uncertain? But one thing is resolute. There are countless people out there who all share one simple perspective. Do good by your fellow man.

Shann, Samantha, Charlotte. Thank you for allowing me into your life this evening. Your lights are beautiful, and your words are sweet. I’m glad I adhered to my daughter’s navigation and followed your bubbles.

BTW: We arrive home after our visit with you. Guess what my girl requests for dinner.

That’s right… Mac and Cheese.

“My childhood was fun, crazy and wonderful. Mom was the social coordinator and dad was the orchestra leader. I would have had an ideal upbringing, all except for one thing, my dad’s drinking.”

One of the many reflections from Patrick, today’s 365 friend.

In regards to his growing up, Patrick is enthusiastic, as he exuberantly reenacts endless accounts of growing up in a small Southern New Hampshire town of 5000.

“My parents had tons of parties, people were always over, and  for me, it was a safe time. We knew everyone in the neighborhood. And all looked out for each other. It was way different than it is now.” There is a spark in Patrick’s eyes as he makes this claim.

What I find out in a fast two hours with Patrick is this, “He cares.” Not just about his family (and it’s huge, his mom had 5 siblings and his dad 15), but also for his friends, customers, and remarkably, for the future of our kids.

“No one thinks about each other anymore and too many kids are raised with no common sense or respect.” At the moment he expresses this sentence, a group of unchaperoned teens run screaming past the front of the store. “See what I mean. Right next to me is a tutoring school. How do you think the kids studying there feel about that interruption?” He shakes it off and resumes his discourse on his childhood.

“We respected our parents, my mom was a great woman, I miss her dearly,” showing me his ear-ring which is made from one of his mothers diamonds. “ Both of Patrick’s parents are deceased, but to this day, he respects the life lesson’s he learned from them.

My mom was a feisty Italian and Dad was a spirited Irishman.

Patrick tells me more about his mother and his love and honor of  her. “When I was a kid, if mom rang the bell, we moved our asses to dinner. We all sat as a family every night. mom took great care of us.”

“Dad was a character,” he goes on the share story after story of his fathers colorful personality. Things like one cold Winter night when neighbors put a gag sign in his yard. “My dad ran out of the house in his boxers, and with all laughing, proceeded to spray them off with a hose. He was out there for 30 minutes, in the cold, my dad was just that way.”

I’m starting to get the picture of the passion that must have been in his childhood home.

One thing that strikes me louder than words, and Patrick has many, is the blend of absolute order and creativity in Patrick’s framing shop. Everything is in its place, and his work is nothing short of perfect.

My customers love coming here and most return again and again. “I do not try to up sell anyone. My goal is to help them preserve memories.”

In touring Patrick’s workroom (where the framing magic happens), I come across a shadow box sitting on a perfectly organized work table. He gives me the rundown. “Everything I do is custom. This project will take me hours and I want to make it perfect for my customer.”

Here is what is really cool about this place. It has a “you’re at home” vibe. I get it when Patrick starts to share stories of his customers. “I love the people who come in here, we are a community, and the best compliment I get is when my customers shed a tear in seeing their memories come to life in the framing I provide.” He is incredibly sincere with this claim and I know Patrick cares.

Patrick is funny, very funny. Four adjectives describe him: Smart, spontaneous, inspired and loving.

“When I was 8. I wanted to be Merv Griffin. I even remember one night when my parents went out, leaving me with my brothers and sisters. I rearranged the living room, turning it into a talk show. I role played both Merv and his guests. I’ll never forget it and that is where my quest to know people began.”

I ASK MY QUESTIONS:

Can you share any words of counsel or wisdom?

“Go big or stay home. Life is too short to miss opportunity. And always remember, when you ego is as big as you ass, you are in trouble. And if you don’t enjoy what you are doing, GET THE HELL OUT.”

And that is exactly what he did after years in the corporate world, He got out.

Where do you see yourself in the future?

“Still feeling in love as much as I am now!”

In parting; Patrick share this call to action. “Take care of you mothers and respect the old.”

And please tell the world this, “I am the Framing Fairy, and proud to say it!”

“There is no step by step way to life, All I know is you are supposed to help people.”

After two hours of driving tonight, Santa Ana winds howling at my car, the air stills long enough for me to find Lawrence, who shares the above quote on life.

Yet it is more than still skies that draw me to him. I feel it is destined to happen. Like I said, two hours of driving, during which I loop past the Chatsworth train station three times. Each time with a feeling growing that I must stop.

Finally I relent to that feeling and pull into the station parking lot. It’s a rather quite station, except for the occasional roar of gusting wind. Gust is an understatement, more like a jet blast. The platform is mostly still, a person here and a person there. And with a very long day behind me, my brain is beginning to fail, leaving me to question my reasoning for being here.

I’ll admit, so far the greatest motivator tonight is my lovely wife. I’m Ashamed to say, I came inches from throwing in the 365 towel only hours before. But Terri would not let me, “Quit being a panty waist, get your camera, get out of here and go find somebody. Remember what you said, ‘No matter rain or shine, sickness or health,’ this is nothing today, so you’re a little tired, now go, get in the car and get out!'”

And right she is. Tonight turns out to be an amazing experience. Not by my own power, but by that of Lawrence. At first he allows me only ten minutes, not sure why, but I jump right in, taking a quick set of photos while asking a few questions. There is something about him that is wonderfully peaceful, so a rush conflicts me a little.

I soon find out why we are rushing. No big deal, seems Lawrence has a bus to catch. A short commute to a nearby connection station to connect with a commuter bus. His connecting stop is on route to my home. I offer him a ride and the pressure is off.

With the race for time now off our shoulders we settle into a pleasant conversation in the comfort of our four-wheeled wind shelter.

At thirty-one years wise, Lawrence has the wisdom of ages. “Walk through life to live and learn. Take time to listen to everyone.” Council that he credits to the love of his grandparents, of whom he spent much of his early years eagerly engaged with. “I spent so much time with them, they practically raised me.”

That alone impresses me. How many of us spent the bulk of our youth learning from our grandparents. “They have experienced so much of life, and what they taught me is the basis for my life,” Lawrence implies.

Lawrence comes from a big family, really big. I’m not going to list its scale, best to leave that alone. Doing so would most definitely max out my word count, and there are more poignant points to make in describing my meeting with Lawrence. But what is important here is his love of family.

The basis of his life outlook, his family heritage as set forth by past generations, “Life is about humility, listening to your mind and then having the courage to act on your thoughts. Whatever your mind tells you, you can accomplish. Just be yourself, put it out there, and don’t be afraid.”

And afraid Lawrence is not, He tells me of times of living in treacherous areas and never feeling in danger. “No one bothered me and many helped me out.” I never judged and looked for the good in all people. That alone kept me safe.”

As we commute our dialogue is open, soulful and unified in our desire to know the world around us. Topics like, the importance of not placing judgement, accountability, sin, forgiveness and death. All of which are condensed into one conclusion as described by Lawrence, “If you only look at someone as they are on the outside, you will never hear their story.”

We arrive at our destination, and with conversation still alive, decide to park to continue talking. The topic deepens a little, we share of the loss of our loved ones and, again, link it to the lessons learned from the experience. We agree that there is nothing to fear in death. The only thing to fear is not using life for the right reasons. In the words of Lawrence, “There are so many things you can do, and there is just not enough time to take it in.”

I know, in his statement of fear, he is not referring to the materialistic when he tells me, “You don’t have to have a lot of money, all you need to do is open your eyes, set your mind and relax. There is no need to stress, you’ll figure it out. Stress will kill you and divide you from the world and the people around you.”

Something tells me to ask a new question. After so many days of my own thoughts of why I meet the people I find. I decide to turn the card in asking Lawrence this question: “Why do you think we met this evening?”

He pauses, “Meetings like this should constantly happen. The problem is that not enough people think about the right things. Life is not about ego or power, it’s about humility, listening and honest actions. If more people would think about each other, We would all experience meetings like this.”

What Lawrence is talking about is what he calls, “Atmosphere” Meaning, “What you put out is what returns to you.”

He is talking about what I call, “The Voice.”

We’ve explored it heavily in 365. Many agree with its title, others have their own vernacular for it. But one aspect is common. Like attracts like, and there is a higher power guiding us all. And those who listen are ultimately rewarded. Not necessarily in riches, in health or in status, but in peace.

Lawrence’s future is bright.
“I’m engaged, have a baby on the way, and one day will be helping kids with my own children’s center. I’ve got a lot of life to share and the experience to help children make the right choices.”

He leaves us this quote: “Listen, We are blessed in this world.”

Lawrence, Keep listening!

Last night I promised you a continued story as I briefly introduced you to John. A young man of few words, but what he does say is impactful, “Cherish your family.”

Yes I meet more than John last evening, I am also introduced to his uncle Gabriel (AKA, Bob), who manages the Christmas Tree lot where, every holiday season, the two of them work side by side with their entire family.

As of that moment, something told me that Gabriel had greatness to share. Even then, he was willing to interview, but was more intent on having the chance to clean up a little before being photographed photograph. It was late, and seeing that he had been spraying flock on trees all day, and not feeling quite dressed to be photographed, I obliged.

So here we are in today’s daylight and I’m glad we scheduled this time.

Bob, I hope you are cool with what I am about to title you, it’s s a bold mantle to place. But after spending an evening, and a morning chatting, hearing of your perspectives on fellow-man, the way you hold your family together, and your opinion of the world, there is one personage that comes to my mind, “The Angel Gabriel,” and Bob, I’m happy to say, “You personify him.”

Readers, this entry may seem as if it is written as a personal note to Bob (Angel Gabriel). Please forgive me if it appears too campy.

I really don’t fully know why I’m authoring this entry in this manner, it just strikes me as appropriate, so I’m going to go with it. One thing I am beginning to learn as a blogger, write with your intuition, and that is exactly what I am doing tonight. Hope the experiment works out for all of us. Let me know?

Gabriel, you shared so many gems in our conversation. Life experiences that I can identify with, and many that I can not come close to comprehending.

You patriotism is awe-inspiring, 3 terms in Afghanistan, “remarkable.” The stories you share of the people, and the impact of seeing their gratitude for you, and your fellow servicemen, opens my eyes to the courage and compassion of those who selflessly put their lives on the line to serve mankind. I’ll not take my freedoms for granted.

You speak of your pride for your country and of your love for society. For that I am grateful and, like you, my faith in mankind grows.

There are a lot of good people out there, and in your contribution to 365, you help in bringing us all together.

Your sentiment, “Be good to each other, we’re not here that long,” strikes at the core of my thoughts on mortality, and how fast time really moves. This is a good thing to ponder, and I ask myself this question, “Exactly what am I doing each day, and what are my priorities?”

You say, “Treat every day like it is Christmas. Be comfortable with life, and just live, that’s all.”

Bob, you are the benchmark for peaceful and compassionate living.

When you tell me of your priorities: “Loyalty to Wife, Country, Family, Friends and of your commitment to simply do the right thing. I am thankful to call you a friend.

“I’ll never turn my back on anyone.” You share, and I believe you.

You tell me of your father’s example, “He would help anyone, he was a great man.” It is obvious you are following in his footsteps.

You pray to God, “Have faith in mankind,” when many pray for themselves, and I know your prayers are heard.

Bob, you are a good man. One for us all to model our lives after.

Yes, after writing this entry, I still have to stand strong in my title for you, The Angel Gabriel.

And for you Christmas Tree shoppers:
If you want to go to the friendliest family managed lot in the city, Check out Bob’s lot. Bennett’s Best Christmas Trees, Corner of Victory and Owensmouth. Tell them Richard sent you.

Also, Bob is one heck of an artist, having perfected methods of creating flock magic. He does not just spray white, he creates real life snow and color.

“Treat every day like it is Christmas.” Thanks Bob, I’ll do my best.