photography

“It’s like a near death experience on a daily basis… It’s comedy…! Pure comedy!”

An expression that has captured my ear in speaking with two alumni’s of where I studied, both of whom prefer to remain anonymous.

I run into them as I return rented equipment to an unspecified renal house. It’s Sunday, its cold, its rainy and its damp, and with that I welcome the opportunity to escape the downpour to talk life shop in what becomes a mixture of the sarcastically funny to the economically difficult aspects of a career in the arts.

I won’t mention names, but I have been instructed to let you know of their ages, and in honoring my promise to protect identities we will call our new friends “Red Vans,” age thirties, and “Blue Sneakers,” age twenties.

Red Vans is the catalyst to our conversation; we’ll call her Red from here on. She tells me of the day. “Boy, you caught us on a bad day to interview. There have hardly been any customers and we are not in the best mood.”

Yet Red delivers this news with a sense of approachability. “That’s what makes the project so real, people however they are, and I’m sure you guys have something to say,” I reason.

“Alright, but you can’t photograph us… we have not done our hair,” Red kicks back with an infectious laugh.

“Hey, I need to have a photo to prove you are real.” I playfully harass.

“OK, you can shoot our feet.”

The banter has begun, and readers, welcome to the world of two emerging artist and my new friends.

By the way the above near death linked to comedy comparison… its Red humor.

And a humor I am beginning to understand is protective cynicism.

Red gives a bit of instruction to all emerging artists, “Read in between the lines always. Whether business, a loan, a job, a school or a person.”

Fairly sobering advice; advice that Blue Sneakers (Blue from here on) rapidly picks up on; and with the ten-year generation gap, it is interesting to bind their two responses.

Blue quotes, “Don’t even wait for anybody and don’t let anyone control your destiny.”

The point I see in both of their reasoning’s is this. As artists we have to listen to our internal selves in finding a way to perceive the world through our own unique eyes.

Let’s look at it in a theatrical context:
The Protagonist: Personal view of the world through a self-created emotional filter, linked to one’s ability own actual life experience.

The Antagonist: All the opinion, responsibilities and comparisons that are thrust upon us on a daily basis, or the one we self create through our own self-doubt.

Like Red proclaims, “It’s comedy…! Pure comedy!”

Link that to Blues, “Don’t let anyone control your destiny,” and you have the basic cocktail to the perseverance it takes to make a mark in the artistic world.

“I’m a free spirit that can’t be broken,” Red smiles as she goes on in telling me of her substantial student loan debt. A conversation that leads me to ask, “What would you advise anyone considering pursuing a career in photography?”

“Marry rich…! Just kidding!” she blurts out as she organizes the store inventory in preparing for the close of the day.

Just then a customer enters to pick up a rental order, and half a dozen credit cards (several needed to meet to deposit requirements) later, the tone is set for the continuation of the topic.

“Here is what I would really say,” Red resumes, “If you don’t mind living within your true means… Go for it!”

Red is certainly not a negativist, actually she is very astute, confidant and cynically realistic.

“They never told us at school that the market would be so over saturated. They did instruct us that it would be extremely difficult, but they did not communicate just how many photographer there really are out there,” both Red and Blue express in a united voice.

We talk of the history of the industry and relate it to the future of the trade. My conclusion, and words to all of us in the craft of story telling or art creation, “There will always be a place for the those who have something to say.”

Like I’ve said, “I’m a hopeless optimist.”

And optimism is the platform I will always stand. However in all growth there is trial, successes and failures. Otherwise, how could one truly dig deep enough to connect with individual self? The world will always conspire in some way to pull you off track. The temptations surround us and we are literally attacked with endless input the moment we open our sleeping eyes. Some steer us in the path to light, and others drag us into darkness. But that is the wonderment of the process. The fullest outcome is unknown, but for those of us who embrace the journey, and find the way to filter the difficulties, as well as the shallow hypes, perhaps are the ones who become the genius of tomorrow.

Blue talks of the misuse of technology and of it effects on society, “The internet and social media has affected life as I see it. I can compare it to some of the job interviews I’ve been on. When I was there I saw how so many of the eighteen and nineteen year olds could not interact face-to-face.

After that, I canceled my Facebook account. So what about what my friends are having for lunch, I’d rather talk in person.”

We’ve talked often of the responsible use of the new world of communication. Of it’s power and use in reaching out, and of its seductive grasps into a virtual word of digital isolation.

I’ll not group all tech users into any one category, or not segment any specific age demographic, for I have met some amazing youth in my travels. But I will make the claim as does Blue, “Look at people, talk and interact, for in that you will find the secret of life.”

“I’m not sure what will happen in the future… Maybe there will be a lot of people living in apartments trying to pay off their student loans.” Blue expresses.

Both Blue and Red are artists, living the artist’s life, and my hope for them is that they find their voice.

Blue smiles as we reach the end of the day, “I saved for cable and now I can watch Mad Men… I’m so excited!”

Make’s me think of the little pleasures, and of how, with the acquisition of things, status and of life’s positioning’s, the more we sometimes forget.

Red speaks of what ahead, “It’s going to be a hard ten years with the current state of worldly affairs.”

Followed by, and in magnificent Red form, “It’s going to be gold… pure gold!”

I like the thought of a golden future.

Let’s all hang on for the ride, “We are in this thing together!”

I just received an extremely humbling comment from one of my readers, Lisa, a fine blogger in her own right, “I love reading these and seeing the photographs of people. Each one is an inspiration in some way.”

And per her inspirational note, I must give applause to the many who have allowed me to photograph and interview them.

I’ve never considered myself a writer, but I’m doing my best to provide you with uplifting content.

In a funny way I have grown to consider you a vicariously extended family and have appreciated all of you comments. My gratitude is extended to you for all of your support and even a debate or two on several of my entries.

Your input matters and without you there would be no 365. I won’t lie; the project has made me a better person. That is the selfish part of it. However it has not come without a price to my sleeping schedule, time with my family and several business agendas that have been somewhat compromised.

So to hear from my viewers is the greatest payment I can receive, and to know that in some way our united mission to come together is making a difference to anyone is remuneration greater than the all mighty dollar.

I’m clueless where I will end up tomorrow and of how I will write its entry. Yet again your comments help to keep me on track.

We are way into 365 now and its subscriber base is  expanding on a daily basis. And though its traffic is still moderate, we have hit a plateau; a summit that I wish to push over. In the prospect of lengthening the 365 stride, I’m going to be brash in throwing myself at your doorstep to request your aid in growing our momentum.

Here it is, direct and to the point, I ask for your help in passing on a 365 link to as many as you feel would appreciate receiving it. I know this is a self-serving request, but one that is not motivated for self-gain, but more readily a desire to get the stories of my strangers turned friends to a broader audience.

It’s very late, or should I say early, as I am writing this entry, and like I said, I am not a writer, just a story telling visual artist and people loving dude, doing what I can to pass it on in a way that does not tranquillize. In getting back to the meeting of today’s friend I need to flash back several hours to a network studio.

It’s 10:00pm, my shoot has just wrapped and with two hours to days end, and even though the day’s fatigue is setting in, my 365 engine is revving up in accepting the fact that I will most likely be embarking on a late night outreach.

The last of our gear bags are packed and upon closing handshakes, final farewells and a set of 365 discussions, emerges client production coordinator Hilda, “What are the questions?” she asks.

One fact that needs to be mentioned, Xiomara has been at work since 6:00am, when the first shots of her busy day began. She is wonder of organizational skills and working with an amazing team of collaborators, her job has been to not only assure that my shoot goes well, but also the production of two other video productions which are being shot in tandem with my shoot. And after a sixteen-hour day on her feet, it would be acceptable to hear, “I’m too tired for an interview.”

But with the energy of a new morning awakening, Xiomara replies, “I’ll do it!”

Got to love this girl, she is unstoppable, and her wisdom’s demonstrate what gives her this special gift of enthusiasm. “Enjoy life to the fullest, and live each day like it is the last.”

Words we have heard on the streets from several of the strangers we have met, but this is the first time we have heard it from an on the job professional… one who says it at a time when many would be thinking solely of the length of day and of a readiness to return home. Oh, I forgot to tell you, we are working on Saturday night.

Xiomara reveals another secret to her disposition, “Always be nice to everyone… and always have a smile on your face. Never forget, a smile can make a difference.”

Xiomara is just one of those people persons. You know… the type of personality who blossoms in the midst of chaos, and has the sparkle to unite those she works with. Until tonight, I knew her not, and after sharing hours of studio time together I am indebted to her positive attitude and obvious commitment to help those she associates with.

The message she shines is as clear as the finest water, life is not about what we do, but how we do it; a zest to do the right thing, and a life spirit that she emits in delivering us advice for the future.

When I ask, “What do you see for yourself in the future?” it is apparent that Xiomara does not want to focus on herself. And after a pause of reflection, “I don’t know…” she replies.

I rephrase, “Where would you like to see the people of the world in twenty years or beyond?”

Solemnly Xiomara concludes, “Everyone in a place where they think about others and not about themselves. That way we can build something together. Or if not, we will destroy our universe slowly.”

I think I’ll pass on the destruction… Want to join me? It’s more fun to build stuff!

“Can I quote someone else?” Sherry queries.

“I have no rules, all the matters is we are no longer strangers, and it is good to meet you,” I reply.

Sherry is a little more than a stranger; she is a neighbor who lives about ten houses down the street from my where I live.

Per the prodding of my daughter, who as blocking my backing out of the driveway with a warp speed bicycle fly by, shouts, “Daddy, there is the perfect person down the street, I just rode past her, she is your 365 friend today!”

Boy do I have my family trained, or is it the other way around? Well, never the mind, I follow her inspiration and through her peddling wingsmanship (she is riding next to the car and smiling all the way) I drive up the block to her scouted coordinates.

Not wanting to be too creepy… because we all know everyone wants to talk to the stranger yelling out the car window… I stop just in front of my mailbox checking neighbor and exit the car, “Hi, I live just up the street, I am a photographer, and my daughter just told me I need to tell you of a project I’m doing.”

She lights up, “Sure.”

Quickly I realize that in a way, I am supporting my yesterday’s challenge to us of looking out our front doors to simply talk to a neighbor, and unintentionally my daughter has reined me in from a possible long away from home search; when tonight only minutes down the block is Sherry, a stranger whom I should really know as my neighbor. Thanks for redirecting me kid!

Sherry talks of the world we live in, “We don’t have a community and we are becoming a world made up of a wandering population. Older people are alone and the younger are lost in a misunderstood world of new technology. We are not on the right path.”

She smile, “Wow, you have really got me going!”

I once had a reader comment on how interesting it is to hear the thoughts of every day real people and I agree. “Sherry, is great!”

Never have we walked away from any new friend with the same exact outlook. A lot of shared perspective on a variety social topics, but all with their own unique spin. I hope we will never again judge a book by its cover.

Sherry is an advocate for bettering education, not only in the formal settings, but also in the social context of what we understand, “Kids are not being educated responsibly and socially there is too much resistance to new ideas and how to adapt them to new technology. The older generation is resisting it and the younger generation does not understand its good uses. I’m not a politician or a teacher, I work as an accountant for the IRS, but that is just the way I see it.”

My daughter bikes up, “Daddy dinner is in fourteen minutes, mom is making hot dogs!”

Spurred on by the grin of Sherry, I reply, Fourteen minutes is perfect, thirteen would not be enough, and I don’t think we have enough energy to talk for fifteen.”

OK, but I’ll hold you to it,” she finalizes. At nine she looks like she is on her way to being a lawyer or some other form of negotiator. I’ll start saving my tuition money now.

Off she blazes in a blur of pedal strokes, and now with the knowledge of cooking hot dogs pressing us, Sherry and I resume our conversation.

“We need to think about our homeless seniors. It’s a sad thing how inflation and the cost of living has forced so many seniors out of their homes. There is no way they can live on the $1000 or less a month that Social Security provides them. We need to find a way to help them more!” Sherry stances.

This one is a personal hot spot for me. My mom is widowed and eighty-seven. She is a picture of health, and recently due to an increase of rent, has had to find new living quarters. Luckily for her, she has children that are able to help her, but as Sherry concerns, what about those who are alone? All I can say is, “Let’s keep our eyes out to our elders, and if we can help in any way, let us do so.”

Sherry is on a roll, and with eight minutes left to hot dog overcook, we have time for two more topics, healthcare and the problems of irresponsible debt accumulation.

“Did you know we have a shortage of doctors in the big cities?” she questions me.

I’ve done no research on the subject, but here are Sherry’s findings, perhaps statistics she knows from her association with the IRS. “The big cities are too expensive to establish medical practices, and new doctors, most of whom have large educational loans and/or young families can not afford to begin a practice; so they choose to live in smaller, more affordable cities.”

The logic makes sense, and may I elaborate on it by saying, this is a global problem for all of us, no matter what our vocation. I can go off on it and relate it to the greater issues of GDP and what I feel are other problems of our new economy, things like we send out more aid than we keep within our own boarders. But that would make me a politician wouldn’t it? And I’m not doing 365 for that agenda. I’ll let go.

Yet Sherry, picks the ball up, “Its hard to feel sympathetic to those who get too overextended. People need to think more before they incur unrealistic debt in keeping up with the Jone’s. She talks of the terrible loan terms that too many signed in to, and of the home crises that it has led to. We need to live within our means,” she concludes.

I agree with her to some extent, the living on credit for status part of the logic.

But I propose two other points to the equation, first, what about those who are doing there best to merely survive, and secondly, the corporate greed mongers who are profiting with selfishly conceived financial models.

We see eye to eye on this addition to the conversation, and throw a big shame on the financial institutions and big business that have so profited through the destruction of so many lives.

Yet even with this, we can’t ignore the responsibility of those who signed into one-sided contracts. This is not an accusation; it is a compassionate plea for better education; a prompt for self-examination and a call to us all to campaign for more focus on contributing to a smarter economy.

I know…? I am being a little vague; the topic is vast and very complex. But simply let me propose this, “Is life about the new car, the most decorated home or an expensive degree. Or is it that we should be focusing on a more humanistic agenda, like self-reliance in educating ourselves, family and friends in finding way to stand independently on our own two feet.”

Oh yeah, that quote Sherry asked to share? From sci-fi author of the Darkover series, Marion Zimmer Bradley, “Your never too old to learn or too young to teach.”

Talk tomorrow, my friends.

At almost 200 days of circulating, I’m beginning to see a noticeable difference in my community. But before I explain what that difference is, let me tell you a little more about where I live.

For reference you can picture the Radstone lifestyle as somewhat loose and flowing mixed with the traditional regiment of daily routines and expectations of consistency. My wife refers to us as conservative hippies, a bizarre marriage of locked agendas and unpredictable spontaneity.

With that, we live in a metropolitan suburb, know as the San Fernando Valley, not really an open and nostalgic countryside, more like an urban city on the outskirts of an urban city.

And in these urban suburbs are 1.76 million people; like I said, it’s not the country escape many of us visualize when thinking of the inhabitants living on the edge of a metropolis.

Think of it this way, at only twenty-four miles of traffic jammed Interstate 101, and to the West of the City of Angels, my community has all the joys of an exploding populous, with a little more elbow room than that of the mentioned city to the East.

And with this elbow room comes a strange sense of isolation. Strange because even with the 1.76 million living in my neck of the woods, enough people to see movement at most hours, it is still possible to travel un-noticed by auto or by foot.

I don’t know how, but people seem to want to disappear into the wider streets that surround my suburban bliss and 1965 faux Colonial fixer upper.

But here is what I find brilliant. After 195 days of chin up and eyes open to the people around me, my community is shrinking before my very self, not so much in head count, but rather in my understanding of it.

It’s an amazing thing. I can truly say that on a regular basis I know the faces I pass and somehow I keep running into people who I know or know someone I know. Many times I am even flabbergasted by the people who, upon overhearing a 365 interview, reach out to me. A vast population is getting smaller every day, and I’m loving every minute of it.

I won’t say that I’m an icon of celebrity attraction, but the 365 thing is blowing me away. This simple change in perspective has literally shrunk my circle of influence, and in a bazaar way has put a weird magnet of, talk to me, in my stride.

My over-sized office bulletin board  testifies of this occurrence, for on it lays a growing list of referrals and passed on business cards. What I’m finding is one basic truth, “The more I pass on our 365 message… the more I find it passed back to me.” A very revealing finding that screams, “We receive what we give,” and once the ball of positive energy begins, it projects a gravity-like pull that I hope will grow to become delightfully uncontrollable. Like Keith of yesterday’s entry, I too must admit that I am a hopeless optimist.

This entry is a little offbeat from many of my past articles, and leaning on all of the “pass it on” gestures, and referrals from my 365 friends, I am inspired to activate us to a day of outreach.

Yes, I’ve seen a change in my own life, but now I’d like to understand what is happening in yours. Selfishly, I have been encapsulated in my own experiences, and to set the tone for a challenge today I must again restate my motivations, “All I am doing is following wherever 365 is taking us.”

And as deep as we are into it now, it is apparent to me that the more I keep my chin up two phenomena are emerging. 1) As my pool of strangers- turned-friends increases, the volume of referrals befalling me increases; and 2) (And this is the real interesting side effect) The people I see everyday in my life travels are becoming more and more familiar, and my controlling thoughts of self are diminishing incrementally.

The result, it’s not that strange anymore to hear, rolling in from over my shoulder, “Can you interview me?”

I wish I could interview and photograph everyone who reaches out to us, but that endeavor would be extremely overwhelming, and being a self-funded little rag-tag movement, that task would be a detriment to my livelihood.

Still, at times I wish I was resourced enough to be able to dedicate 24/7 to 365, then maybe I could make a deeper stab at getting everyone’s message to our minds. But with the necessities of a mortgage, a family to feed and the growing length of my honey-do list, that is just not practical at this time.

This is where you come in. Your efforts and outlook matter to what we are doing. And with this sentiment, I want to conduct a social experiment.

I’m throwing you a random opportunity to “Pass It On.”

Think of it as a bonding shout out, and with it I ask you to take a personal and uninterrupted couple of minutes in reflecting on how well you know your neighbors.

OK, here is the meditation music (you pick the tune)…

You’re cheating… Just humor me… try again and take a pause from your reading.  I know I’m fascinating , but I’m not going anywhere.

Go grab a tea, a crumpet, or something. Or better yet, stick your head outside and see if there is anyone to chat with for a little while, if not, maybe call that person or family member you have been thinking about. Whatever you do, give yourself allowance to escape and settle your intellect, to open up and listen to the world unconditionally. The rest of this blog is not leaving, we’ll be here when you’re ready to read on.

Thanks for sharing in our combined breath of unity, or the act of outreach you just placed upon someone else. Hopefully, with whatever you did, you found a bit of perspective, or perhaps brought a smile to the face of another, or better yet, experienced a sampling of both.

“Why do I do this?” you may ask. It just seemed like the right thing to do. Your participation is appreciated, and I’m sure we would all like to know about your experience. So please comment. Possibly this could be a banner summit for 365. It’s up to you.

To direct us on our path in introducing today’s friend of influence, we’ll flash back a few days to our interview of new friend Chris. When, as he and I were taking our photos, I had one of those over the shoulder experiences I am speaking of.

“Are you covering a story?” is inquired of us from a young woman who has been observing our impromptu photo session.

Like I said, it is so hard to interview everyone, but something about her energy made it impossible to ignore the idea of an interview. Plus, the day was so close to an end and with the fact that this bubbly young woman who engaged with us actually was employed by Follow Your Heart, it was just not the time to stop and chat. So we agree to reconnect today, thirty minutes before her shift.

Without further ado, please pass on a warm hello to Kat.

One thing I must reveal, and give credit to whom credit is due, the above challenge is not of me, it is a by-product of Kat’s opening statement, “Hating yourself is the worst thing to do. If you respect and love yourself, you are doing the world a huge favor. If you don’t like yourself, what you do will not be genuine.

“It doesn’t matter what people think of you. Hang around with people who like you for who you are.”

You must trust me that I’m not saying I hate myself, or implying that any of us do. Quite the opposite. What I am doing is respecting Kat’s council in offering us a view at a thought that Kat has introduced, “Are we genuine, and do we like who we are?”

Kat says, “It doesn’t matter what people think of you. Hang around with people who like you for who you are.”

The question that her words pose to me came to fruition in the form of a challenge. A challenge to do something to support her claim of a genuine people, and again, the genesis for today’s random past it on.

Kat thinks sensitively about the world ahead of us, “I really don’t know what to say, it is so unpredictable… (Big pause)… We are messing up the planet… (Pause two)… I guess I just hope we see it happening and choose to do something about it.”

We pull back to the present, “Some people are here for each other and some are less genuine,” Kat generalizes.

Pauses over, she quickly sums up her premise with an observance. “I see too many acting with each other through illusions like the internet and TV. Places where people can project false images. You have no idea of who the person at the other side of keyboard or screen really is, but when you interact face to face you get a better picture of the genuine person.”

(Kat… thanks for moving us towards Richard’s challenge today!)

 I look forward to hearing your Pass It On experience. May this become a banner moment that we can one day look back upon.

Talk soon, my friends!

Jokingly he says, “I’m like Yoda, aren’t I?”

But in his jest there is an air of truth. Like a good friend of mine says, “The truth is in the joke.”

It’s been a full day, and one that has pushed me to miss my time stamp in posting my entry today. I can’t believe it. Wrote the article at 5:00am this morning, knowing that I would be tied up in a casting session all day. My thinking was that I would press the publish button at lunch.

My plan falters when a real lunch break does not happen. So at 5:27pm with the room cleared of the last few talent, my stomach turns. 194 days of perfection in posting time stamps, not one date skipped, how perfect is that.

And today I miss my posting by only twenty-three minutes, and the irony is that I’ve been ready to post for twelve hours. I’ve got to say, even though I have not missed a day of meeting a stranger, I take my missed time stamp as a great failure.

My head is low, and I feel as if I have let you down. But by no means can I accept a twenty-three minute time miss as a reason to quit 365.

What can I say? Got to let go a little and give myself a little slack I guess, everyone misses a beat now and then.

But I think you can read into the trouble I’m having in letting go of the error, even as I write, that I am very hard on myself regarding my commitments. Or perhaps I am whining. I don’t really know want I am feeling. It’s strange; stress and relief flow through me; two of the most opposite emotions, but the mind wave in my head none-the-less. Brainwaves that I just can’t shake as I close my business day with a final farewell to the staff at our rented studio, 5^th and Sunset (a Los Angeles destination for smooth production and accommodating service).

Into the production offices I go, you know, the general business stuff.

“We’re done; how do you want to handle billing?”

I’m met by owner, Keith, and there is something about him that is greater than the usual business etiquette. It’s in his eyes, in a situation where many would jump right to end-of-day billing matters, Keith’s major concern is, “How did your day go?”

Again, no real big deal, sounds like a usual customer service query. Except with Keith I sense something deeper than the expected business mask that many wear in their daily professional affairs.

Keith is real, and in his how did your day go? I am drawn to know more of his outlook.

Without much prompting Keith steps up, actually steps out from a conversation with staff, to  join 365 by sharing his perspective.

We find a quiet spot in the reception area of the studio complex and, grabbing a seat in a set of funky barber chairs, I ask question one: “What words of wisdom would you like to share with the world?”

“Just start to treat each other better. If we do so, I promise you will get much more out of life,” Keith champions.

The golden rule strikes again! We always love to hear it, but after so great a numbers of shares, is there more to it?

Keith talks of the results that reaching out has had in his life, “Because I was nice to people, and people have been nice to me.”

“Sure dude, you run a hip studio, meet all kinds of interesting people and get paid for it. What’s so hard about that?”

It’s so easy to look at the present and forget that in all successes, or failures, there is a history. And just like all of us, Keith has one too.

“How did you get here?” I inquire.

Keith provides a brief time line.  I went to photo school, was a pro tennis player, then stunt man before I landed here.

What he combs over are the crises moments, moments that now, with my own story, I can read loud and clear in connecting the dots.

Keith, please forgive me if I am being presumptuous in what I am about to write. There is a gut motivation that is forcing me the call it as I see it,  and I promise, it is a tribute to your outlook.

“I worked in a Universal Studio stunt show by night and at the rental counter of an equipment rental house for awhile. Then I injured my knee in a show and had to start working full-time at the rental house. One thing led to another and now I have 5^th and Sunset.” Keith exposes in the small talk.

Being a photographer, or any form of performer in Los Angeles, is a very difficult proposition, and one that is filled with rejections and poverty days.

So how in the world can an injured, underfunded stunt man, make the ascent to owning one of the premier studio rental facilities in California?

He already said it, “Because I was nice to people, and people have been nice to me.”

It is more than apparent that Keith has never lost that virtue, and that is what has inspired me to sit with him in conversation this day. And in his eyes and comfortable delivery of his message he encompasses a hidden story of never giving up, buying into negativity or comparing his situation to that of others.

“I’m an optimist, and I think people are starting to realize the planet is getting smaller. Because of that, I think they are starting to understand, or a least are beginning to work towards tolerance.”

We talk of Chris’s reversal of the theory of 20/20 and of the past battle for civil rights. And as did Chris, we talk of the insanity of the past and the way we view the similar issues now.

The topic stirs Keith to share a story that affected the way he looks at the world and what he encourages us to mirror.

“I went to school at Parsons in New York. I had a roommate from Tupelo, Mississippi. He was a really cool guy, but was carrying a dark conflict. I found this out during a talk we had one day when he told me, ‘I was raised to hate black people. But since I met me you, I have no idea of why I thought that way,’ I’ll never forget that conversation, it forever changed the way I look at people.”

Keith has worked hard and demonstrated great patience in getting to where he is in life. There are no certainties for what’s to come for any of us, that fact is global.

For each of us our challenges are unique, some day are full of gains, and other bogged in the muck of life, yet in both we have our agency to either ascent or to descend, and in the end we do have control of our progression. It’s a matter of mind-set and perseverance. In the words of Keith, “It’s up to us to make our own silver lining in every event of every day, easy days or difficult ones alike.

“We can only strive for perfection, but there is no guarantee it will happen.”

Perfection, we can only strive for it?

Day 194 Leaves me imperfect in my daily time code, but like I said, I still met my stranger Jodi. Her message is important, and perhaps the extra time her posting floated did some good somewhere.

Thanks Yoda Keith, I feel better now.

Talk tomorrow, my friends.

It’s around 10:00am, I have just come from teaching my spinning class, and with a client meeting planned for 1:00pm and not wanting to waste time commuting to my home office, I find it prudent to grab a seat at the corner coffee / WiFi house to write while catching up with business emails.

With Vanilla Frappuccino in hand I recline into my private bliss; and as the chill of icy beverage begins to take over my engrossed taste buds, I phase into kicked back typing nirvana.

I sink into cozy armchair heaven. My mind linking to my fingertips with dedicated focus. Yet through my thought blurred peripheral hearing, I notice the echo’s of business conversation.

Sitting directly across from me are several people talking about the business of disposing of hazardous waste, and something about the conversation is perking my attention.

Great, here comes a budding in scene, I can see it now, “Dude! Can you go back to your typing, were a little busy at the moment.”

I take self-inventory and pushing the fear of rejection deep to the back of my mind, I look up from my keypad. “Alright, let’s do it. Mind over matter,” I psych myself.

Meaning, “If they don’t mind my introducing myself, then my fear really doesn’t matter.” We’ll leave it at that… shall we…? No need to talk about the fact that they might hate me for being nosey… is there?

Here is a little more data for you to process before I go on. You have to know that I do my best not to profile the people whom I approach, and all in all, the greatest percentage of the people I have met thus far are the result of an in the moment outreach. Definitely the opposite of a planned target of controlled subject matter, an ethnic group or any researched situation.

Absolutely… some friends open up easily and other are guarded, but every time an interview ends, whomever I have spent time with expresses life stories that are impossible to profile. And, all depart empowered with a common gift, the gift of being heard.

From the comments I receive, it seems that the bulk of my new friends leave with a feeling of importance in being able to contribute to the unity 365 is striving to encourage: A claim that I feel mostly comfortable in hailing, and one that is ninety percent accurate.

Why ninety percent accurate?

To all light there is also darkness, and it would be painting the wrong picture to disregard the hundreds of rejections I have received and the occasional bad timing moments, like the scorning I received that one cold and windy night when Lawrence’s wife, “Stay Alive”, hit us both with, “I want to go home, NOW!”

Even with the occasional dart, I stagger not, and now as I write in yet another sleep deprived state, and with strangers in my midst I must stand strong, willing to be accepted or thrashed. “Yes…!” I can boldly exclaim, “I’m not stopping this crazy one-year journey.”

Off we go… “Excuse me, I promise I am not a stalking freak, but your conversation has grabbed my attention. I’m really not trying to be nosey, but I’m a photographer working on a documentary project in which…”

My words fall upon the ears of three, and in the end one stays to follow through with me, the incredibly inspired rock of successful single motherhood, Jodi.

“Wait…! Wait…! Wait…! Richard, I thought you said they were talking about business and solutions for protecting the environment. How did we get to single motherhood?”

I’m not really sure, but one thought jumps to reason, “Jodi’s personal message is meant to be heard.”

Jodi’s single mother status is due to a disassociated relationship with an x-husband, who choosing to cheat on her is less than involved in the upbringing of her two children, ages eight and twelve.

I won’t delve deeply into a character assassination of his actions, but I will tell you this, from what Jodi expresses, he is not doing his part in helping to nurture his kid the way a mature father would do. Let’s move on to Jodi’s story.

Opening up, Jodi speaks of her childhood and how it has influenced her parenting skills, “My parents wondered if their parenting went in, and now that I am a parent, I’m on the other side of carrying forward their council. I’ve made my share of mistakes, I was a difficult child, and as a parent I realize that their words did go into my head.

I was raised Catholic, and even though at the time I was a little wild, what my parents taught me about respect and the importance of values is the core to who I am today, and is the foundation to the way I teach my children.”

We talk of the role of parent in raising balanced and emotionally healthy children.

Jodi has an ironclad perspective on the responsibility of we parents, and being a single mom, her words have the greatest of impact in calling us to accountability.

“As parents we need to be sure our children feel loved, and we need to teach them morals, to not judge and to do their best to be kind to others. And to do so, we need to be that kind of person.

I’ve sacrificed a lot for my kids, and will always put them first. I don’t buy the both parents have to work bullshit, I’m a single mother and I’m managing to keep my kids safe. Bottom line, if a kid goes the wrong path, it falls on the parents.”

“The world is heading towards chaos,” Jodi predicts. Yet in her dark prediction, there is a great presence of hope. “Even though we see a lack of love in today’s world, no peace, gangs, kids being bullied in schools and abused in homes, there are still a lot of people who show great respect and are working to watch out for where we are heading.”

“I’ve learned that you have to look at what is in front of you. The cards that are dealt to you, and all you can do is keep positive and just deal with it. I’m very open with my children, and I teach them that life isn’t perfect, but that they can learn from life experience. And at the core of it is truth. I teach my kids that telling the truth is sometimes the hardest thing to do, but the right thing to do.”

“Love is the key to parenting. My kids are my life and I trust God to know that I trust him in guiding me.

“And my kids know I love them, I tell them that every night as I put them to bed.”

Jodi, we thank you for your courage in speaking out on parenting, we embrace you for your commitment to love, and we salute you for your raising your kids on your own.

You are the rock of single parenting and an icon of committed motherhood.

I’m certain one day your children will look back and say, “Thanks mom, we heard it… and it went in.”

Only five minutes ago I was at the bird shop down the street. Being the proud owner of a Parrotlet (think miniature parrot), my wife and I frequent the store in purchasing its feed.

We strike up a conversation with the owner, and even though taking the pass card on being formally interviewed or photographed, she tells us of a recent issue that is becoming a life endeavor for her, that being, learning more about, and education those she knows, of the effects of GMO’s in our food chain. A fact that has been brought to her attention by her daughter who is deep into educating the medical foundations as to the harmful results of messing with mother nature.

What does this have with our new 365 friend, who we meet at stop two of today’s outing, Follow Your Heart Supermarket?

I’ll get to that… but first let me tell you a little about Follow Your Heart. It is not the usual supermarket. Everything on its shelves is vegetarian, naturally grown, fully organic and contains no GMO’s. I’ve been here once before, and almost decide to pass on entering its doors in an attempt to avoid being redundant. However, my wife insists jokingly, “I know this is your project, and you don’t like being told what to do, but I have a feeling that you need to go into follow your heart.”

I jest back, “What do you mean? ‘I don’t like being told what to do?’”

She smiles playfully at me and in the doors of the store she goes… off to examine the isles of healthy consumables and other organic products.

It’s very enlightening to know how many things can be produced in a way that is not only healthy for body and mind, but also low impact to the environment. I hope that one day, we will see stores like Follow Your Heart become the mainstream sources for groceries and products.

I’m still a little phased by her, “You don’t like being told what to do snipe,” But after receiving a silent face zerbert as she pokes her head out from behind isle two, I get the joke. She used it to get me to stop thinking so rationally about going into the store. Got to love spouse psychology, don’t we?

It never ceases to amaze me how the comments of one person, that being my new friend at the bird shop, can seamlessly blend into the words of their proceeding stranger, now turned my friend.

And today, GMO’s awareness is in the air. Not by being in Follow Your Heart, but via the words of today’s stranger number two, now turned friend, musician Chris.

His short and to the point council may bring light to his linked visualization of the now and the future, “Act today as if you are living in the future. Visualize yourself in the future as you see it. Then look back on yourself, and think about your actions.

Maybe, when you throw away that McDonalds wrapper, or even eat at McDonalds, you’ll think differently.”

In the theme of anti GMO (I don’t bring it up, Chris does), we talk of healthy foods, lifestyle and as organic as the product stocked on the shelves around us, we bridge into a broader subject… Humanity

Chris reverses his opening advice of act today as if you are living in the future; changing it to its sister “Hindsight is 20/20 theory.”

To make his point, Chris chooses a socially impactful period in American history, referring to the civil rights movements of the 60’s, “We would not even imagine segregated drinking fountains now, would we?”

With this suggestion of visualizing the future by looking back at the past, Chris gives us a mental tool in considering our life’s choices.

Sure, we’ve all most likely reflected on the hindsight is 20/20 theory. Perhaps we get it fully… perhaps not… yet one thing troubles me.

If the theory is so powerful, then why do we so often find ourselves repeating the same behaviors or reliving reoccurring situations.

Albert Einstein defined Insanity as: Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.

So with the 20/20 rule, married to Einstein and the humble words of Chris, shall we look back on ourselves, and think about our influence in what’s to come.

“We are all in this thing together!”

Everywhere I look Saint Patrick’s Day green is in my eye-line. The auditorium is full of color and action. The diversity is vast and everyone from kids to grandparents participate in the merriment. Even my wife takes a run at the Velcro wall, and to credit her athletic skills, manages to stick strong to its balloon walled surface.

There must be hundreds of people in attendance, and one observation I can note with the greatest of conviction: all are united this day in enjoying a community celebration of bounce, run and play.

After the climbing wall I settle a bench with corned beef sandwich in hand (I mean mouth), my wife and daughter leaving me to embark on my friend finding mission by myself. After all, as social as they can be, they need to finish their gladiator grudge match on the balloon pedestals.

Here I remain, perched on the top level of the gymnasium bleachers, appreciating the last bites of my Irish fare. It’s like sitting at the top of a platform that has been consecrated for the purpose of people watching.

And from this high up perch I begin my rationalization: “The stilted guy looks pretty cool! What about the not-so-dressed-in-green (Irish?) belly dancers? No, better yet, the Dick Van Dyke look-alike?!”

I wipe the last of the rye crumbs from my chin and ready myself for a stroll. Yet my path is unexpectedly halted when a gentleman grabs a seat near where I am stationed.

“How are you,” I reach out and as I do, a reflection occurs to me; words that were given to me by one of you, my 365 readers. That comment went something like this: “I love the stories of the real people you find. And that so many are everyday people who have very interesting things to say.”

All of a sudden the dancer, stilts and faux-celebrities are not that interesting to me anymore, and the desire to approach them has been replaced with a need to chat with the stranger sitting to my right.

“How would you like to be part of a humanistic outreach project?” I invite in explaining 365.

Over conversation of family and events my now not-stranger has become my friend of the moment, and with the comfort of knowing our families are enjoying activities as we rest on the bleachers, my new buddy, Leo, talks of his wishes for the world.

“Don’t waste resources, save everything, natural resources, conserve energy, and don’t waste time on things you don’t need to do. Too many people even waste too much food.”

I think of my refrigerator at home and check myself to positively eat all the leftovers from this week’s meals.

On December 17 our environmentalist friend Bronwyn, “Treat the planet right,” put us on the WordPress map with her words of council, “We need to push a little harder in doing our part.”

Leo exemplifies her caution, “I’d like to see a day when every family becomes a producer of what they can use. Things like planting gardens and cultivating fruits and vegetables.”

We talk of not only the obvious positive agricultural contribution, but also of the health benefits of freshly and organically grown produce.

This whole garden concept is one that my family and I have embarked on from time to time. And I tell you; the benefits are beyond the expected. I can own with full integrity that in growing our own food we not only ate healthier, but the money savings as well as the unity and shared work ethic grew my family closer in ways that are beyond dollars and time.

Our planet in finite, and as Bronwyn and Leo are gesturing, we can all make a powerfully positive footprint for the safety of our planet. It’s in the little gestures, that we, if combined in numbers, can bring to pass a measurable impact en route to the healing of planet Earth.

How many of us choose to feel overwhelmed by the sheer magnitude of the deterioration of our limited resources?

Leo provides us a task. A task that is absolutely possible on a macro level. One that is even socially edifying and good for the mind, body and spirit. Simply… “Plant what you can eat.”

“Don’t waste resources, save everything,” Leo lives what he preaches; it is in his eyes, his words and by the looks of his healthy physique, it is in his lifestyle.

Guess it’s time for me to find the rototiller, I’ve got Zucchini to plant.

“What are you words of wisdom?” I ask Anna, my friend… no, may I say my savior this evening. Why savior? That is a grand title.

Briefly, it is a rainy night; everyone is scurrying or beginning their end of week check out, and even with my dashing charm, J! I am rejected ten times as I zigzag a twenty-mile area of wet and vaguely populated streets.

I sure that tonight the fuel companies love me, and my environmentalist self is beating on my sense of responsibility for my negative contributions to emission control and conservation.

Yet another two-hour excursion is upon me. I’m not griping, just setting the stage to a lesson of which I still have not mastered. That lesson is simply, “Richard (and all of us), we need to let go of pre-consideration in where, how and with whom we interact with in our daily lives.”

I drove for hours with a set of positive excuses. “Positive excuses?” What are those? I thought excuses were negatives?” the third debates as I write.

“Oh no! Richard your loosing it, third voices, are you talking to invisible friends now?”

It’s 5:30am, my habitual writing time, my eyes are droopy and the day is already rushing at me. Got to give a guy a little slack… don’t we?

Plus we’re closing in on 200 thousand words, and in the script of my Sci-Fi author friend and writing coach, Michaelbrent Collings, “Your style is getting more organic.”

Opps, distracted by the rising sun, seems I have wandered… “Positive Excuses? What in Sam’s heck are they?”

pos•i•tive ex•cuse  (noun) 1 a reason or explanation put forward to bolster confidence away from making an inspired decision or to self justify leaning wholly on the intellectual self: there is no way I will go to a place that I have been to before, no matter how much my core self directs me to do so. If I do people will think I am being lazy in my project. • a reason put forward to conceal the real fear for an action; a pretext: It’s ok if I wander aimlessly for whatever time it takes until I find the perfect person for todays interview, as a cover up for not allowing my fatigue of the week to slow me down into acceptance of where I am and in appreciating those around me.
2 (an excuse for) my actions in isolating myself in my vehicle, even after a proven track record of endless wanderings: I find the right person at the right time!

Bottom line, an excuse is an excuse, no matter how we spin it.

Two hours of driving, all the while crossing a center point where lies a Starbuck’s coffee house. A local that has pulled me in several time before. And choosing to ignore the fact that on this very rainy night it is the gather spot in the area, I tell myself, “I can’t go there, that’s the easy way out!”

“Your back, good to hear you talking to yourself, the third voice stuff was a little creepy.”

Yet on pass four of the corner of Ventura and Topanga Canyon, fatigue and a quickly dipping fuel gauge, finally reigns in my poorly defined friending route. “All right head, I’ll grab a hot drink and a snack and just see what happens!”

The place is buzzing with people, all in their own sphere of conscious, and all engaged in their own life moments. At first, I let my brain direct me with another set of positive excuses, “Good thing you stopped, and now that you have a hot belly and a sugar rush, we’ll hit the trails again.”

“What…!! Mind, are you nuts…! More aimless driving!?!

I fight back and in taking a deep breath, I decide to overcome the logical self in pushing myself to raise my chin to look, listen and feel.

The room slows, and in the midst of shoulder-to-shoulder movement, one soul stands still, Anna.

I observe her interactions, and in an instant I find myself on the opposite side of my yesterday’s experiment, that of smiling at the world around me, and waiting to see what happens. Seems that tonight, Anna has stolen my idea… Or has she?

There is something about her that is comforting and self-aware, I am drawn to introduce myself. So what if I am at the same Starbuck’s I have often frequented?

In one last futile effort my brain bounces back to my logical lobe, “No she is going to think you are a creep!”

The other lobe fires, “It’s a different night with a different culture, and glowingly, Anna is quietly at the center of this never again to be duplicated time frame, step up Richard, Respond to her energy.”

I listen; the logical lobe can be so pessimistic sometimes.

Now that the good cop, bad cop brain stuff is over and my hot drink called, I muster the courage to say hello. Anna explodes with acceptance of 365, and yet again, the inspired self win the battle over the thinking mind. Therein lies the lesson.

“I don’t know what to say,” Anna launches, “To give advise to the world…that is a huge thought…”

To veer away from the daunting question we decide to small talk for just a second, when suddenly her eyes light up.

“People need to smile more and for no reason. I don’t mean to just your friends and family, but when they are not people that you know. It is more important when it is random.”

Anna has a face that could grace to pages of beauty magazines, yet she is not about herself. A fact that is evident in the career path that both she and her husband have chosen, she an IFT and he a paramedic. Helping others is the silent message I read loud and clear in speaking with Anna.

We talk of our interactions with the world; in life, in family and in career, and in doing so, exchange a united view of the importance human interaction plays in the evolvement of a healthy society.

“I see it all the time at work,” Anna reveals, “I’m a IFT (Interfacility Transportation) and every day I transport many lonely people who only need one person to give them a smile or a little time for conversation. I try to be that person.”

Anna touches on another topic that all of us have discussed over and over again… Technology.

“I don’t like what technology is doing to human relationships. I’m not talking about the good uses of it, or even things like your blog, it is getting a good message out. I’m talking about how people do not live in the moment because of it. It’s like what happens at work. I’ll be driving with my partner who does not even know I am in the vehicle because he is so deep into his texting. We need to interact face-to-face.”

I won’t harp on this topic any further in this entry, and I’m sure it will come up again, but Anna does give us a cause of reflection, “I think many people are on the same page, but don’t know what to do about it,” she observes.

And with perfect Anna vibrance and twist of sweet humor, she leaves us this social note, “People should picnic more!”

For me, I’m off to the pantry, got to pack for tomorrow’s outing.

Talk tomorrow, my friends.

I promised myself that today I’d interview the first person who verbally responds to me. I’ll call it the reverse magnet theory.

Off to find myself a busy corridor I go, once again the Third Street Promenade, Santa Monica, where I put on my smile face and hit the trails.

Chin up and eyes open to the people I walk and it’s a completely different experience than that of the past 365 outings, where I opened my words as well as my eyesight.

The promenade is busy with activity, and it’s quite interesting to take note of the body language responses I receive from a simple smile and head nod.

It is quite remarkable what you can read in the eyes of a person, and for those who engage with me, the range of reactions is full. “Good to know you,” one person nods; “I’m in a hurry… can’t stop to chat,” another shrugs with a grin; “Pervert… go away,” a mother grimaces off as she check her child.

In a way… I am remorsefully surprised that most people do not reach back verbally. Makes me question when we lost our faith in the world around us. It’s not as if I have cornered someone in an alley… or threatened them… or have an apparent objective (i.e., the guy holding the sign that reads, “Jokes $1.00”).

There are countless people as well as police presence all around and I am doing all that I can to keep my posture non-threatening and receptive. Who know maybe I look pathetically out-of-place or like a stalker, but in clean jeans, and a conservative shirt, I think I blend in pretty well.

I’m not trying to make any grand point of discussion with the above observation, just a feeling in my gut has asked me to write of this finding for whatever it will become.

Really I’m quite blown away, forty-five minutes and no hello’s, how are you’s or good day’s at all. When as I ready to begin to speak, “Hello, how are you!” comes at me from the right.

Laughing, I reply, “I’m tired.”

I never say why I’m tired, that being of the energy expense of receiving now countless non-verbal rejections. I’m just happy to finally be engaging with another human, even though I know she is just doing her job of bringing attention to the café that has hired her to draw customers in.

As we talk two young ladies settle on the street side menu next to us. My still stranger engages with them. “Where are you from?” she asks. There is an honesty to this girl and I am wondering what gives her this special radiance.

“I’m from Boston” one replies, “I’m from Minneapolis” the other smiles. All of a sudden I find myself vicariously center to a conversation of weather, city comparisons and other simple safe talk.

“Here is my opportunity,” I think. And grabbing my 365 business cards, I find a moment to introduce my project. “Perhaps, my tourist strangers will step up and tell me of their cities in joining 365,” I convince myself.

They nod their head with a smile, and intently listen to my description of the project, “We’ll check it out,” they engage as they depart leaving my café promoting friend and I alone in continuing the conversation.

“I’d love to be in it,” says my radiant companion of the scene, stranger now turned friend, Irina, who reveals the key to her presence, “Stay in the present, we spend too much time worrying about the future and carrying on in the past.”

More people walk by, and as we talk, Irina manages to keep focus in engaging with all those who pass by. That’s her job… Right?

I just watch and listen. Now there are many who can deliver a line, but Irina is not one of those people. What Irina delivers is sincerity. “Stay in the moment and don’t worry,” she says and it is apparent that is how she manages her life.

And in doing so it is acutely obvious that even though this is her job, Irina has found a balance of compassion and professionalism in truly using her employment to better know the people around her; I am impressed by her balance of work and self.

Have you ever had a friend that no matter how you are feeling, their aura helps you feel better about yourself? I barely know Irina, yet I’m pretty convinced that Irina is one of those people.

“This may sound cliché,” Irina says in forecasting her next statement. “We need to start working at peace, not so much about world peace, but the people on an individual level. There is too much personal fighting and not getting along.”

World peace, maybe a bit cliché, but where Irina directs the basis of her thought is very astute. Month back, we had a friend advice, “I’d rather see a lot of people doing small acts of kindness and good works than to see one great effort of one.”

Irina seconds that charge in suggesting that we work to resolve any part of our life’s or actions that out of accord.

“There is too much personal fighting and not getting along.” Yes… It is a very youthful call out. But as in yesterday’s entry, where we featured the works of Sir Ken Robinson and the, again not so cliché, words of young friend Heather, we must consider the thoughts of youth as powerful motivators.

Sir Robinson talks of the genius that children demonstrate; a genius that is not only academic, but a genius that allows for collaboration and an ability to coexist. Might we consider that as we age, we hold tightly to our youthful perspective of humanity; and for those of us who have lived to see it diminish, may we reignite the flame of optimism?

Those of us who are life weary might argue, “But that is to difficult, I’m too wounded, life is just not that way, grow up, or simply, the world is way to screwed up to matter anymore.”

“We need to start working at peace, not so much about world peace, but the people on an individual level,” Irina inspires.

Peace on an individual level. Whatever we may debate on the issue, Irina counters with a last bit of council, “And we underestimate the power of apology.”

Out of the mouth of babes, my friends.

Shall we all hang closely to our youthful thoughts!

Irina, thank you for the hello, you are making the world a better place!