It’s not often that one of our new friends takes the time to promptly email us their words. And, today is just one of the instances. With that, it would be completely wrong for me to edit or rewrite in any way.
So without further delay, the written words of today’s stranger turned friend John.
“I think one of the things in life that we should seek out is a measure of balance. Now I believe there are many different avenues to attaining balance, but what I’ve found works for me is through maintaining positivity and having an understanding that we are not perfect but we as a people, are all in this life together, therefore we are united in a manner of speaking, despite our differences. And I think if we just make an effort to be good to each other and helping each other through this life, we can bring about many positive changes to ourselves, and everyone around us.
However, I think we should also look to bring balance not only to ourselves, but to the world, and all other forms of life that have just as much of a right to be here as we do. We can get closer to bringing this balance by working together as opposed to competing with each other. The ideologies of competition, war, and authority are outdated and obsolete because technology has evolved to the point where those ways of thinking are no longer necessary. I think if we’re able to be responsible and use technology as a means to educate, create, and restore as opposed to impose and destroy, the possibilities for a brighter future for all people is a definite reality. And when we are able to focus on creating a future for our children and their children’s children, we are that much closer to finding balance.”
She says as she walks by me with a dismissive and antagonistic look, as if I am non-human and transparent, “Your a photographer… that’s nice.” And this is only the front end of a barrage of knee buckling and similarly harsh rejections. Then there’s the guy on the bike, “A photographer! Hah! I’m sorry! The world sucks that’s all I have to say, I’m not interested in sharing my thoughts (Well he kind of did).”
I lose count of the “Leave me alone camera guy” jousts and upon the most subtle brush off from the couple walking hand in hand, “Cool… But later dude,” I almost resign my efforts in this neighborhood.
I look at my watch in contemplating relocating to another street. But with the reality of the need to pick my daughter up from school in only fifteen minutes, it is not prudent for me to leave the area. Subsequently, with my emotional fibers exposed, and my nerves a little shaken, I reset my determination in making a friend in this location… and on this stroll.
And even though the rejections have been ceaseless and I’m slightly numbed by the apparent judgments that I feel have been fired at me, I let go of my insecurities to stay on track.
Up and down the block I repeat my path, challenging myself to at least say hello to all who dare to keep their chin up on this cloudy day. As I do, I fight off the sadness that just moments ago overcame me from coming across so many abrasive get out of my face gestures.
Yet, it is this very sadness that lifts me up in belief that for as many unapproachable people there are in the world, there are just as many, if not more, who are willing to reach out. The odds have proven this fact to me; I’ve met far too many people who share a more optimistic point of view. So I walk on, acknowledging everyone in my route, dismissals and all.
Forty-five minutes have clicked by and as I stated earlier, it’s only minutes before my child finishes school for the day. There is not much time left, and upon spotting one last earphone-wearing commuter of public sidewalk, I decide to look beyond his music appreciation and throw myself upon the court of Doug.
Doug silences his music to hear what I have to say, and with an accommodating grin he joins us with one condition, “I’ve got seven minutes, I have to pick my kid up from school. If we can do it in that time, I’m in.”
We jump right to the point, “If you could share any wisdom, advice or council with the world what would you say?”
Without hesitation Doug paraphrases a quote from late basketball coach of legend, Jim Valvano, “Every day you should do three things, laugh, think and cry.”
I did a Google search for Coach Valvano, his quote is very impactful when you put into perspective of where and when he said it. Per Wikipedia, “’Jim Valvano died of Cancer and on March 3, 1993, shortly before his death, he spoke at the first ESPY Awards, presented by ESPN. While accepting the inaugural Arthur Ashe Courage and Humanitarian Award, and as he announced the creation of The V Foundation for Cancer Research, an organization dedicated to finding a cure for cancer. He introduced the Foundation’s motto ‘Don’t Give Up . . . Don’t Ever Give Up.’”
Here are Coach Valvano’s words from that day, “To me, there are three things we all should do every day. We should do this every day of our lives. Number one is laugh. You should laugh every day. Number two is think. You should spend some time in thought. And number three is, you should have your emotions moved to tears, could be happiness or joy. But think about it. If you laugh, you think, and you cry, that’s a full day. That’s a heck of a day. You do that seven days a week, you’re going to have something special.”
“I do my best to live my life this way,” Doug mirrors in speaking of Jim Salzano’s example.
“The Future…?” Doug ponders, “…we are going to go through a lot of growing pains, and in the end, we will all be in a better place.
I think there is going to be even more of a global economy. I won’t live to see it, but my grandchildren will.
It won’t matter what country you live in… it will be a one-world type thing.
I remember when I was in school and the Soviet Union fell, people thought that would never happen… but it did.
The old school dictators are dying off, and a new generation is growing. And they want a different life.
And even thought the political powers still try to keep the information from us, they can’t anymore.”
Doug’s outlook on the future rings with resonance, and after speaking with over one thousand people since September 9, 2011, I have to let you know that this sentiment is unanimously shared by many, especially within the eighteen to twenty-five year old age group… the literal foundation of our future leaders.
Let us hope that these reformers of the future stay true to course, and avail of corruption as they step up to do as they may. I’m counting on it; like Doug, not for myself… but for the future of my kid.
Even though I have been rejected much this day, it has been worth it. For in the seven minutes Doug has convened with me, my optimism has been restored, and my perspective regarding the good in people has been refreshed.
In quoting legend Jim Salzano, Doug exemplifies the words of a compassionate leader.
“Everyday we need to laugh, think and cry,” Doug passes to us.
And in the hour past I feel as if I have experienced all. I’ve welled up at the tone of unnecessarily harsh rejections, thought about my child’s future and smiled with a new friend in hope for a greatly united people.
We agree that a big contributor to what is to come is in the hands of the young men and young women of today… Many of whom I have spoken with first hand over the last 227 days, and many of whom are on the right path. In publishing this, I ask all twenty-five and under to do us proud! The future is in your hands!
Doug, thank you for quoting coach Salzano and for your positive outlook towards a smaller much more connected planet.
“I’m talking to you because you spoke to me.” TJ greets me with a welcoming presence.
I speak often of walking the world with chin up and eyes open to the people around us. And today, the table refreshingly turns, where in a project in which nine times out of ten I am first to link eye contact with the people around me, TJ beats me to the punch when he recognizes my daughter and I within a park filled with hundreds of people.
TJ lives by a mantra of outreach, “We all need to talk to each other. Too many people are afraid to speak.”If more of us did, we would understand each other better and would probably fight less.”
But there is more to speaking than merely orating words, and by the interest TJ shows in 365, we discuss a secondary process of communication that equals the power of speech… that process… the ability to listen.
Communication, as brought to us by yesterday’s friend Linda, is the key. And no healthy rapport can ever be achieved with any one-sided narrative.
“People need to be more open,” TJ elaborates in explaining his stance on society and the oncoming years.
“I look at people and the future with and empty slate, I suppose I am an optimist.”
Optimist is almost an understatement in describing TJ, as evident in his description of the future, “It is going to be an amazing place.”
“An amazing place!” TJ calls it. What a wonderful outlook, and on a planet where there is so much strife aside all of its majesty and wonder, it is empowering to meet a man who truly sees light in every circumstance.
“What about all the contention in the world and those who say there are dark times ahead?” I inquire.
With intellectual ease TJ responds, “Yes, there are going to be people who don’t see it.”
He backs up his reply with an analogy, “’It’s like people fifty years ago could not fully predict where we are now. So to, can we not fully predict what is to come… can we?
Thousands of years ago they were saying the end of the world was near, and we are still here.
I predict that in fifty years we are going to look back and say, ‘we survived and it was a great time.’”
My hopes are with TJ, not just for myself, but more importantly, for the sake of our generations to come.
TJ, we appreciate your optimism, keep sharing, my friend.
From left to right: Vikki, Alex, Rena, Lisa, Linda
If you read yesterday’s entry, you know where I am today. If not, here is a brief review. It’s Queen Elizabeth II’s birthday and I am in Poway California at the over fifty-five apartments in which my Mum resides. Think of Mum as a busy British bee, and me, basically the token male, helping to host an honorary tea party that Mum has decided to sponsor.
In your visualization, picture a group of 90% retired ladies, all of whom have, in a way, adopted the words of my gloating 86-year-old matriarch in describing, “Her wonderful son,” and to that add my wife, who knows what I really look like standing in my underwear.
I mean no disrespect or egotistical acceptance of her pride, and being from a typical British/Jewish lineage I will admit that, at times, the peculiar pressure that arises from carrying the motherly label of “Last son and heir to the Radstone name,” does put a bit of childlike reaction to my actions.
I remember my high school days, I could do no wrong, and to the chagrin of my two older sisters, I pressed that privilege to the limits. Perhaps that is why my wife continues to grimace upon the exultations she has to bear in witnessing the communication between my sweet Mum and her prodigal son. And cause for the look at me for the DoofusI can be desire that has always been a weird quest that I campaigned for over the years in my family dynamic.
And in another way, perhaps the driving subtext to my quest for artistic expression, that constant conflict of self-worth and self-loathing many an artist admit to as core motivation to the way they view life through exploring eyes. So Mum… cheers to the base you have imparted to me.
Yet even with the acceptance of the reasoning for my good ol Mum’s admiration, and bolstered by my wife’s humorously supporting eye-roll, “’We have two hours until the tea party, and if I have to hear one more, ‘you’re the wife of that nice boy who is helping his mother,’’’ I find it very prudent to take leave for an auto journey in seeking my friends for the day.
I have no idea of the neighborhoods that surround the area, so I just drive, looking for anything that catches my eye. And knowing from past experience that to aimlessly wander could prove to be the kiss of death in maximizing a two-hour window of time, I lock my mind into listening to the first impression it receives.
The speedometer reads 55mph as I press the edge of the speed limit in hopes that the trail of cyclists will lead me to some cycling mecca. For twenty minutes I follow my peddling strangers, and the deeper I get into the suburbs, the more I start to realize that my timeline is reaching the alarm zone. Bottom line, “I’m dead meat if I miss the tea party.”
Stress sets in, and at the instant I let go of my, I’m going to talk bicycling agenda, a small sign appears to my right, “Big Garage Sale.”
Throughout my 365 travels I have come across quite a few of these sign, but never with the pulling power that this cardboard post hits me with.
Vikki, member of the gymnastics squad
Five minutes later I find myself parked in front of the Titans, Poway High School Gymnastics fundraising yard sales.
I cannot figure out why, but I have the jitters. I approach anyway.
Blending in, I browse the many items displayed on countless folding tables. I am not alone with the others who have also been drawn by the signage placed throughout the neighborhood.
“May I help you?” enters my left ear. The time is upon me, I introduce 365.
My challenge is accepted, but even with the openness to contribute, I feel a slight trepidation in the air, so we chat for a while.
The more we talk the greater the peace, and the greater the peace the deeper the meaning of our chat becomes.
We end up talking for almost ninety-minutes, and by the end of our group discussion we are all new friends with a message that proves to me that inspiration comes in the strangest of ways. Today it has magnified itself via the handwritten call of a cutout garage sale sign.
Lisa becomes the front spokesperson for the group of volunteers of community.
With the eyes of the other ladies upon her, she shares her council.
“My outward advice…” she asks us all to consider… “What could you do for other people? You really do have time… and there is always a way to make the time.
“’Inward… I teach yoga, and I always say,‘May the spirit within me recognize the spirit within you, Namaste’”
Lisa explains, “’It’s not about me or any selfish thought. We all need to work on ourselves constantly so that we can give to others and not become selfish.
“And we need to start now. So many say, ‘We are too busy,’ but there is no excuse.’”
Linda chimes in, “Communication is key.There is not enough of it. That is why there is so much conflict and war. We must learn to respect each other for a better future.
“I’m a little scared for the future, not so much for me, but for my grandkids.”
The girls are ramping up and I’m doing my best to take accurate notes, and as I do, I know that I am where I am supposed to be.
Rena takes the baton, “I’m not that afraid, and the secret is tolerance, not just in looking at the individual, but at the global perspective.
“Someday it will come full circle and we will have to return back to the basics and back to community.”
Listening the whole while is Alex, daughter of Lisa. I have to call her a silent gem of wisdom. At twenty years wise, Lisa gives a hint as to her maturity. “Alex has had to deal with more death than anyone her age normally experiences. I don’t know of many high school kids that have a memorial board in their bedrooms.”
Yet, Alex walks with a smile of wisdom and humanity on her face as she expresses her concerns for the society that she is growing into, “There is way too much consumerism, and the social media is messing up the pace of life. I’m only twenty and I see so many of my age group becoming numb. There is no shock factor anymore. Tomorrow you could die and what do you have left to show? — your Facebook quotes.
“I’m scared for the future.”
I tell them of the many I have spoken to, hundreds of people who are all saying the same thing as I leave the challenge to pass it on.
Lisa talks of the pride she has in her children. “I taught them early the importance of a handwritten thank you note.”
There is no way the new face of communication is going to slow. Even I have accepted it in my reach out with this blog and it’s message. But the caution is on the walls.
Today we have talked with five women of great valour, and have conversed of Namaste, communication, tolerance, community, serving others, overcoming fear and the importance of the human voice and written word.
All topics of great depth, and all reason for us to unite in one basic charge, as Rena suggests, “Someday it will come full circle and we will have to return back to the basics and back to community.”
My hope, “May that someday begin within all of us.”
The tea party is tomorrow. Not a reenactment of the Boston occurrence that led to the eventual separation of the America from its tax burdening British hierarchy, but a simple little afternoon luncheon that my Queen’s-English speaking Mum is conduction tomorrow at her San Diego residential complex, honoring Queen Elizabeth’s II sixtieth year on the throne.
My wife, daughter and I have arrived a day prior to the function in our support of her event. We are delighted by the stories of her neighbors who have come together as con-sponsors of the festivities.
The room is cute: a British flag covers the pantry at the East wall of the recreation area, fresh whipped cream is chilling in the refrigerator, and the china is set. There is one last piece of furniture that need to be set, the buffet table.
Enter “Ed,” facility engineer and today’s Master-in-Arms, overseeing the heavy lifting in his gentlemanly oversight of the women who are in-charge of the room
A gentleman to the core, and with his Southern charm, Ed expresses his outlook towards the senior citizen ladies that he is so graciously serving. “’You have to respect the mama’s. I remember my father telling me that, and it is the way I always looked at my mother. She brought me into the world and I have to respect her for that. We always have to treat them right. Also, men, don’t forget, behind every good man there is a good woman.’”
Ed reflects on life, “Life is fast. I remember as a child how slow it went; going to play ball or to the river for fishing. Now at forty-six it is going faster and it speeds up every year.
“I have a seven-year-old son and a two-year-old daughter. If there is any one big lesson that I have learned it is to give the extra five to ten minutes, to live for today and don’t worry about tomorrow.”
I ask, “Do you see any difference in the people of the Carolina’s and San Diego? — a relatively unassuming inquiry, but one that opens the doors to a conversation of global proportion.
First off Ed talks of the South, “The Carolinas are a little more old school, everything is a slower process. That’s all, but the major issues are similar.
“And there are more people in San Diego than in the whole state of Carolina.”
We transition into a topic of major perspective: the population problem.
Per Ed, “’There are a lot of people in the world. Just recently I read a statistic: 400 thousand students in the school districts of San Diego County alone. The country doesn’t even have that many jobs. I was out of work for five-years, and it has been extremely difficult for me to find employment. One recruiter even said to me that he received four thousand applications for a single position.
“We have to look at reality, and being a father of two, I have to admit to one worry, ‘What is in-store for my children’s future?’
“The population is a problem. And the government is not addressing it. Things like the way the welfare system is enabling people to not work, to the greed of big business and government as they cut workforce all the while not adjusting the compensation of their officers and high profile political positions.
“Look at the CEO of Chevron, a $25,000,000 compensation in 2011 (up 52% over 2010) and uncountable similar abuses at other corporations. No one needs that kind of income.
“There are people trying to get jobs to just support their families. The American dream is no longer alive. Now parents are putting their kids through college, and when they graduate, there are no jobs for them. And worse yet, these parents are in debt from helping their kids get an education.
“And all the while, the richer are getting richer and the poor poorer.
Money like that can be put to good use in giving people jobs.
“The government is turning a blind eye to the problem, even numbing them in support of new technology. I think that they are very much behind the social network in using it to keep the public entertained, not truly informed, and purposely diverting the citizens of America away from what they are planning.
“It makes me mad to see the Police, Fire Department, Education and Public Services take the hit from endless cutbacks and layoffs, while the Governors, Mayors and City Councils see no salary adjustments.
“We talk about the abuses of the rich and the entitlement that we are embarrassed to admit that many US residents display. We need to be working, to take any job we can that will lead to bettering our situation. America needs and it’s citizens need to become self reliant,” Ed suggests as he shares a note on a possible partial solution to the problem.
“I think an 8% pay cut across the board would be a good idea. That would open up more jobs for everyone.
“All people need to be working, to do their part to get off any government aid and become more independent in taking care of themselves and their families. I am not talking about any one group and I am not a racist. My family is mixed; my great grandfather was a Native American and my grandmother Irish, so I’m comfortable is saying this to everyone.”
Ed and I have spoken of a very sensitive topic, the right and privilege to bring children into the world and the world that they are coming into. We talked of real life conditions, politics, big business and, in a way, morality.Yet in the center of all these topics, Ed gives us the greatest of advice, with the eloquence of an impassioned seeker of peace, “Love is a powerful thing… it makes the world go round.”
Call me a road stalker; a title that I will, accompanied by my 365 cohort of the day, Dan, who with me, honors the road stalking pride. And in that spirit of camaraderie, I bear it a pleasure to have a back up creepy dude along side for this evenings car encapsulated reach out.
The streets are dead and void of movement, so when we come across an old-time hearse, it is only appropriate that we see if the dead are living within its cabin. And is some way it is justification for a car drive up hello… like I said, “Creepy conservative guys in-car.”
To set the scene… picture two grown men, dressed in suits from an evening meeting past, a conservative red Honda Accord, and the normal flow of forty-mile-an-hour traffic all jockeying for position on a moderately busy thoroughfare.
Now imagine these two men slowing their pace in waiting for your vehicle to catch up with them, all the while changing lanes in effort to navigate themselves directly next to you as you are halted by an oncoming red light.
Finally, they stop door-to-door, roll down their window, and looking towards you, request your engagement. Adding to that, its 10:00pm and the lights are about to turn green.
The big question, “Would you stretch across your passenger seat to accepting roll down your manual window in greeting whatever they have to offer?”
Or consider this, even if you were intrigued to ask, “Why a hearse?” Would you be very inclined to reach out to said strange driver of such a dusty body carrier?
Well, for us, the intrigue is simply too great, and spurred on by the prompts of Dan’s, “Let’s talk to him,” I short stop the light, and in the remembrance of high school cruising days, I yell out an introduction with an extremely brief invitation to 365.
Surprisingly, the shout out goes accepted, as the shadowed driver leans forward a listening ear, and within the fifteen or so seconds allowed to us via the changing traffic signal, Eric our stranger no more, comes on board to be friend of day 224.
We caravan a few blocks and pulling into a nearby shopping center, find time to settle in for a thirty-minute conversation and photo shoot.
Eric is a mellow guy, and of course… we begin with the obvious inquiry, “Why the hearse?”
“It’s just a lot of fun…” Eric leads, “…I originally found it in Nebraska, where my wife and I bought it to drive as our moving van in relocating to Los Angeles.
And seeing that I was moving to Hollywood to pursue a career in special effects make up, the hearse seemed like the right car to have for the job.”
I find out that the car has been mostly sitting for a few years, and Eric takes it on occasional short rides to keep it in running condition.
The car has a personality of it’s own, and as Eric demonstrates a few of its features, it is apparent that the man is a creative fiend of the humorous macabre. Take for example the skull air intake, complete with glowing blue eyes and throttle matching jaw drop, or how about the updated 473 Cadillac spider webbed cam covers and the skull matching steering wheel.
Appropriately Eric has named his gloomy ride… “Dead Storage.”
“Why the name?” I ask.
“Simple…” Eric says, “…it sat un-driven for so long… and…” he smiles, “…you can store dead people in it.”
Happy to report, no corpses behind the driver seat this day, and by the looks of it, this car has not seen a breathless body in a long time. Well, maybe a few who are short of breath.
We shift away from our focus on the car in going to the 365 questions.
“What advice, council or wisdom would you like to share with the world?”
Eric answers quickly, “Stop focusing on the hype, and start focusing on realistic goals and humility.
We need to look away from the greed. Everybody is too into themselves… call it the boundaries within they’re own five feet, and too many do not care about the five feet around other people.
It’s like in music, Dick Clark died today, and now there is nothing pure or down to earth. He was the real deal. And in an industry where so much is hype, he was an example of integrity.”
Eric goes on to discuss hype in more depth, “Hype is when wherever you go you are forced to see everybody’s program; I’d like to see a day when nobody is being overly influenced by commercialism, the media or the Internet. A day when people make decisions based on what they are know, have learned, and on what they have researched.”
He lengthens his stride, “Politics are 100% corrupted, there is no honesty.
People need to stand up and force their public servants to do what they are paid to do; it’s We The People.
We need to get the documents, do the research, vote, and stop sitting back to all the politicians as they run the country as they are.
Don’t just follow the parties… Vote informed.
Something is going to happen, a revolution, a war, I don’t know, but whatever it is, change is needed.”
“Are there any other global issues that you would like to predict?” I conclude… it’s getting late… and all of us have families waiting for us.
Eric pauses for the first time… “Global warming is scientific, it’s not all about us, and it is part of a natural cycle. Look at the history of the evolution of the planet. It continues to change and evolve, that is its natural course. Although…! We are defiantly not helping to fix it… we are a little late on the clean up.”
Eric, thank you for taking the risk to meet with us this evening, And in you openness I can safely say, there are no skeletons in your closet.
Another Santa Monica shoot day in the can and the thought of stopping to again wander the coastal streets feels a little expected. The sun has dropped, my eyes are drooping, and even with the car-pooling companionship of production assistant J.C, my communication tool set is starting to shut down after a full day of studio directing.
I convince myself that the beaches will be full and route our return home along Pacific Coast Highway (PCH). A disillusioned idea for sure, and one that becomes visually apparent as the sand clears of foot movement in it’s usual migration of beach goers, all of whom are content to leave the cooling wind in their auto encapsulated end of sunlit coastline exodus.
And there is no way I’m going to be the creepy walk up to car dude tonight, I just don’t have the energy for that right now. Maybe another time, someplace quite and safe, like a freeway on ramp or something of that sort.
PCH yields to Topanga Canyon for the inland trek, same thinking, “I’ll see someone.”
You got it, “Even more creepy to be accosted by the car driver wanting to take your photo and ask you a few personal questions.”
I’m telling you, “Sleep deprivation makes the mind do stupid bargaining.”
About this time, the crowds of Santa Monica are not looking that redundant anymore, and if not for the almost $5 a gallon price tag on fuel, I probably would have flipped an inter canyon U-turn, but budgetary prudence gets the best of me.
Out of the canyon I fly, actually, it’s more like a surge of swerving corrections forced upon me by my now sagging eyelids. And, through the grace of lowered window wind, I augment my awareness via the assistance of forcing a few Mr. Bean, “There is no way I’m falling asleep,” facial contortions.
I start to self-bargain one again, “No one will chasten me for missing one entry after not missing a day since the beginning of 365 way back in September.”
But I just can’t do it, and I know if I do, the recriminations that I will feel tomorrow will probably go deep into my psyche.
Almost 9pm now, and yep, the San Fernando streets are mostly clear. One option come to mind… reluctantly… The Topanga Canyon Mall.
J.C seconds my proposal with a buy in to a mall visit. Thus, prior to my dropping him off, and within two-mile of my cozy bed and a restful nights sleep, I find myself in the center of consumerism.
And again, per the tone of my 365 quest today, I have put myself in the midst of yet another exodus of fulfilled shoppers happily departing to the clangs of closing storefront gates. “I’m doomed… I’m fried… and it looks like it’s going to be an all nighter.”
The mall is echoing the still air of silence, and as it does, I spot what I hope is salvation, two figures enjoying cups of ice cream in the reclined peace of pillows and wicker.
“Hi my name is Richard, sorry to bother you… I’m a photographer and for the last 222 days I’ve been working on a project…” I engage in the usual 365 explanation.
“Sounds like a cool project, we have nothing to hide, only we are going to a movie that starts at 8:50pm, can we be done by then?” They respond.
I look at my watch, 8:40pm!“Ouch!”
Needless to say, our conversation is brief and the photo shoot even briefer, but what I find out about my two new friends, husband and wife, Travis and Cassandra is inspiring, especially for young parents.
Cassandra begins with a touch of empathy, “I used to do surveys, I know what you are going through.”
We talk about society and how too many are overly guarded in even looking at the people around them. A topic that guides us to bond with a re-confirmation as to the power we individually have in bringing people together with even the simplest of acknowledgments.
I ask Travis for his council to the world.
“’Wow! That’s a huge question, and it changes day-to-day, how about this, ‘We do things that we don’t know.’”
“Great quote,” I assure him.
“It’s not really mine…” Travis confirms, “…its Aristotle.”
He brings it home, “’Here is how I see it,‘Know yourself, your minds workings, so you don’t get misled.’
We really can be happy with exactly what we have, like kissing your wife!”
I take that as a queue in bringing Cassandra into the conversation.
We check our watches… 8:50pm… previews are probably starting.
We speed up the pace as Cassandra responds with her wisdom. “’I worry about how much TV we watch. We have to turn off the TV and do other things. It takes us away from reality she proposes, ‘Like the Steven Wright joke about the guy lost in staring at a TV through a shop window.’”
Only minutes left, the main attracting must be screening any second; I shift to the final question regarding the days ahead of us.
Laughingly Travis stabs, “The planet going into the sun.”
He steps back from his joke and re-collects his thoughts, “I’m worried about the lack of variation. And even though I love the Internet, being able to see what other people have, and how they exist in the world, I still feel we need to keep our personal lives evolving.”
I’m a little under educated on the theories of variation, so Travis does his best to give us a sixty-second crash course, “Think about the Starbucks on every corner, sure I like my cup of coffee, but if we were all like Starbucks, there would be no evolution.
For any complex system to be robust… they must have variation.”
We have to end our talks, 8:55pm; the opening credits are about to roll. We conclude with two beats, a quick few frames of photography and a promise from Cassandra to email us her words for the future.
Those words just in as I type this entry, “Thinking about the future is different for me now that we have children. While holding a baby, I wish for a world that is kind, gentle, and simple. When out with a happy toddler waving at random strangers, it’s wonderful when people smile back and wave. How great would it be if more people smiled and waved? When I see the future there are two little boys that we are raising that will someday be out there without me and it is scary sometimes. I want the world to be peaceful for them, I want the world to respect each other and treat each other well. I hope the future will be a happy place for them and for all of our children to live in.”
“My wife and I just want to help people. We are all capable of amazing things if we stop judging and lashing out and learn to trust each other.” A killer quote from a very interesting and word frenzied artist, Charles, friend of day 222.
“I was born in 1980 and other than being a bit Bi-polar, and I lived in a pretty normal suburban neighborhood.
My dad was a roofer and a reserve cop, and he taught me the importance of a good work ethic.
I never finished high school, but I read a lot, authors like Tolstoy and Nietzsche, and I guess reading in what educated me.
After that I moved around country, music, construction jobs even time in San Francisco doing data work. I’ve seen a lot of things and dealt with many different kinds of people. And I’ve come to the conclusion that too many people are caught up in the distractions of the world and we all have our own vices.”
Charles talks intuition, “We all have a 6th sense that we all feel and we need to learn to express it or at least recognize it.”
I run into Charles as he commutes home from the grocery store.
Now looking at Charles, one might jump to conclusions as to his intent. He is radically tattooed, carries himself in a sunglass guarded strut and the instant sight of him screams a subtle voice of intimidation. Yet, as I converse with him I come to know a man who has the purest of dreams for the world around him.
“The world is full of greed and people looking for self-gratification. That is why my wife and I recently left our jobs in the corporate world. The company that we worked for said it was all about people and helping the environment, but on the inside it was the complete opposite. It treated it staff terribly and the only environmental good it did was based on what would give the greatest visibility for it profit line. It was all a lie and it took it toll on us.”
That toll? Per Charles, “’When we worked there the stress led us to the abuse of OxyContin and the use of Heroin, that was our vice and our escape, but now that we have left that world we are clean.
It crazy, my wife has a degree in economics and is very smart, and even with that she corporate world almost wrecked her. She says, ‘I left corporate because did not want to contribute to the degradation of society.’”
Charles is an artist through and through and with the support of his wife has managed to find a release of his admitted Bi-Polar energy in his art, words and music.
“I just finished writing a book, it is a set of inspirations based on my life. It’s really more of an art piece. I bought this old typewriter and have hand typed the whole thing on paper. I think I’m going to copy it and incorporate its pages into an art installation.” Charles describes his latest project with an energy that is infectious.
I manage to get a few quotes from the book.
“Everyone needs to look at their life and either change the things that they don’t like or start appreciating the things that they have.”
“And here I sit again, human… all too human. I’m worried. I don’t work for urban anymore. I have spent months complaining about how much I hated it and how it was killing me, draining me of life and creativity. I hated it.”
“We are the only ones ourselves back from this peaceful place on earth. Our actions, our words. And on an extremely personal and individual way and thus unto a planetary scale.”
“I never thought I could live, and now I can’t imagine dying.”
We talk about the future for some time, too many points to clearly articulate, but all points that we have covered throughout 365. And right in the middle of our conversation Charles throws an amazing one liner, “Can’t we all behave until that point!”
It’s late now, 12:00am to be exact, my eyes are drooping as I conclude this entry and I hope that I have been able to convey the energy and artistic wonder of Charles.
And in tribute to him, I’ll conclude with one more thought from his memoirs, simply this, “Make it today…”
Charles’ latest tattoo, a tribute that both he and his wife recently have put on their hands – “Love”
“Appreciate all that we have because we never know what is going to happen tomorrow.” – Stranger turned Friend, News Broadcast Producer, Susana.
As affirmative as an appreciation can be, and to be perfectly blunt, I will be the first to confess that at some of the darkest times of my life, appreciation was the last concept in my mind.
I suppose that is part of human nature and a fact of life. At times I tell a joke, “Remember it is always darkest before it turns… Pitch Black!”
Absolutely… I mean my one liner in jest; after all, I am a hopeless optimist.
Yet, why is it that we come across so many times that this mantra of positive outlook is an overwhelming proposition, and how does such a select few manage to master it’s practice in living life to the fullest?
What is their secret optimism? How do they navigate through the deepest depths of life gone wrong? And where do we find these empowered citizens of Planet Earth?
In searching this question, might I suggest a perspective that departs from whatever our beliefs are of higher power, although I can’t ignore the significance of it’s existence in holding us through this journey life.
But, what of human perspective? Could the simplest of mind views have any impact on the literal healing a life slap in the face?
My take, “Without a doubt!”
Meet Susana… Cancer survivor… empowered Earth Citizen… and advocate for the strength of looking forward.
“I found out that I had Breast Cancer in August 2011. My doctor contacted me while I was on vacation in South Beach, Miami. Life was perfect. I was having a great time with my girlfriends, work was good and in two weeks I was going to Greece and Germany.”
Talk about a pitch-black moment. In Susana’s words, “The world trembles when you hear you have cancer.”
We never think Cancer can happen to us, even in Susana’s case, it was the furthest from her mind. “I had hair to my waist, and a few months prior to my diagnosis I cut it and donated it to Cancer treatment. Who would have known that I would soon be loosing all my hair from the Chemotherapy treatments?”
“It was surreal, but I feel better than ever for having gone through it,” says Susana.
Even the way she was diagnosed, came as a blindside, “I went to the doctor with a pain in my right breast. He could not detect any problems in his office examination, and as a precaution he subscribed a Mammograms.
They found nothing wrong with my right breast, but the results detected very advanced Cancer in my left. I was shocked; I did not even feel it. I was told that if I would have been diagnosed only a few weeks later I would have died…
…And I almost did, not from the Cancer, but from other complications related to it. Never would I have ever thought that I would be so close to death when life was going so well.”
Susana talks of her fight with affection. That’s right… I said affection.
“It changed my life…” Susana shares her experience not only for herself, but also for the unity of all women who are either survivors or in the midst of the fight. “…You learn to see things differently, we all have family, friends and jobs that we take for granted.
When you beat Cancer life get’s better than you ever imagined it could be. You start to appreciate what really matters.
I know it is hard to see the forest while you are going through it; I’ve been there. I remember the flowers that my friends filled my room with when I was fighting the disease. That gave me strength in knowing that people really cared. That was enough to give me courage when I was so close to death, and that was what I used to stay focused on the fight, knowing that the rest of life will come later.
You just have to stay positive!”
We shift conversation towards the world to come and in doing so the topic changes.
“I’m not sure if the technology is helping or hurting us,” Susana questions.
“Twitter, Facebook, how fast it is growing, and everyone has iPads, iPhones, or other devices.” She begins.
We both laugh as we admit to a united observation. I’ll call it the “Words with Friends phenomena.” Stated as a question, “Why is it that we can sit in the same room with family, and with no shared words, or animated bodies, dig into hours of isolated iPad competition?” Holly heck! I’m sobered, time to dust of the old scrabble game, we’re going eye to eye!
And true to her post Cancer life change, Susana links her council to the issues facing the oncoming society of technology users. “We need to focus on what is important, family, values, friends and finding something that we are passionate about.”
We stray from the communication side of the tech revolution, “Jobs are disappearing… I saw it at work ten years when a lot of people got laid off. We are all now doing the jobs of four people.”
Here is the really cool take on this concern, it is not a complaint on corporate downsizing; rather it is a call to respecting the value of the individual.
I think we all have to accept that the planet is shrinking, and that the pace of life is absurdly speeding up. Sorry to say so… but the train is steaming ahead. And sadly… in this ramp up, one of the major side effects is the disappearance of the person in the workplace.
I’ll not be naive in ignoring the economic and political reasons for downsize, but for the sake of this entry, I’ll stay on one point in tying to the temp the corporate culture to realize their responsibility as they downsize or restructure. That responsibility, “Look ahead in adapting new technology, linking it to the worth of the people who the cyber employee is replacing.”
Perhaps, train before the re-hire could be one consideration. Or, in adapting technology that will be profitable to the bottom line, to wholefully consider the HR impact of said decision, putting the value of the employees length of employment, commitment and even personal situations to the equations in their spread sheets.
I’ll step off my soapbox; I promised to stay positive…
Now Cancer free for one year and one month, Susana is no longer trembling and is again at the top of her game.
“People think of Cancer as death, but when it comes your way… you find strength… I’ll never look at the world the same again… I’m happier than ever.” Susana smiles with the joy of a woman reborn.
Oh, and what about her travels… “I’m going to Greece in two months.”
Happy travels my friend, keep sharing your story… We are all better for hearing it.
Hanging out at the park with today’s stranger turned new friend MC, whom I run into while sharing in the fathers ritual of, “my kids are playing on the jungle gym, time to chill for a minute.”
With one eye guarding his playing child and the other leading in our conversation, MC expresses a few thoughts of advice, observations and concerns.
In no particular order:
“The world is a difficult place right now and I am concerned about the future that my kid will grow up in.”
“We need to keep our eyes on what is going on between Iran and Israel, the tension is so high. If there is going to be a world war… it is going to start there.”
“Live more… laugh more… love more… Would make the world a much better place.”
“To the Middle East… Take some of the clothes off the women. Everyone would be a lot happier.”
“I see a lot more sickness because of the chemicals we take into our bodies as the norm.”
“Because of technology and new medical advancements, many unhealthy lifestyle issues will be masked and fixed. Problems that could be fixed much easier by people just eating and living healthier… But there is too much big business and special interest profit at stake for corporations to change things.
People will continue to eat fast food, and take a pill to fix obesity. They will probably even eventually make a pill that will burn fat.”
“I’m very concerned about the way people are starting to look at each other; the profiling and hatred that is marked towards each other is becoming epidemic.”
“Our vote does count.”
“We should not prepare for the worst, but prepare for what we can do.”
“I don’t walk around worrying, I’m just concerned.”
MC, fun hanging with you this end of day… great wisdoms, but as all good father must do, it’s time for us to play with our kids.
“I think one of the things in life that we should seek out is a measure of balance. Now I believe there are many different avenues to attaining balance, but what I’ve found works for me is through maintaining positivity and having an understanding that we are not perfect but we as a people, are all in this life together, therefore we are united in a manner of speaking, despite our differences. And I think if we just make an effort to be good to each other and helping each other through this life, we can bring about many positive changes to ourselves, and everyone around us.
The car has a personality of it’s own, and as Eric demonstrates a few of its features, it is apparent that the man is a creative fiend of the humorous macabre. Take for example the skull air intake, complete with glowing blue eyes and throttle matching jaw drop, or how about the updated 473 Cadillac spider webbed cam covers and the skull matching steering wheel.
Now looking at Charles, one might jump to conclusions as to his intent. He is radically tattooed, carries himself in a sunglass guarded strut and the instant sight of him screams a subtle voice of intimidation. Yet, as I converse with him I come to know a man who has the purest of dreams for the world around him.
