Friendship – Page 9 – Richard Radstone

SideWalk Ghosts / Interview 375: "The Poetic Magic of Billimarie"

January 4, 2023October 8, 2013 by richard radstone

I just stand listening and observing for a while. Watching person after person queue in line for their audience with street poet. A father and son stand quietly as she greets at them. Then putting her head down she, with occasional glances up, begins punching at the keyboard of her eclectically pink Royal typewriter. Both are stoically still, as if testing to see if this stranger can figure them out. A few minutes pass and with a gleaming smile she pulls a little slice of inspiration from the rollers, and handing it the young boy says, “Thanks.”

Thanks… no request for payment… no explanation of her work… just a simple thanks as she shifts her eyes to poem two… Dad.

They look at each other in reviewing the poetry just given them. Dad’s eyes light with amazement as if they have just made a new friend. “I’m ready,” the father stands silent.

I watch for a while. A documentary crew from Mexico curiously surrounds her, a tattooed gansta, who returns moments after getting his poem asking, “What does this say?”

“Those are X’s. I crossed something out,” she kindly responds. He pauses, looking both confused and let down, “I thought it said, sex” he reacts, obviously hoping for an affirmation of his insightful one liner. Smiling and accepting she explains, “those are corrections… that’s all.” Never does she show any sign of contempt. Any reactionary emotion, or any back talk as the now chin dropped dude walks away; surely he must at least feel uplifted by the spirit of acceptance that seems to radiate from her very presence. She returns to smile at the next in line, “Hello.”

In a time where most things have a price tag or some other attached agenda, a decade where far too many are heavily guarded and skeptical, can it be that I have strolled across the real deal– a giver with no intentions other than to share her gifts with the world?

A humble cardboard sign reads, “Free Poetry.” Even though there is no price tag, and with no cash in my pocket (seems that plastic has taken over my life), I am a little ashamed to approach her for a poem. But the draw to speak with her is impossible to walk away from. I find myself trapped in indecision, but as the crowd momentarily thins an opportunity opens. I am pulled in.

“Hi, my name is Richard” I begin explaining the history of 365. But before I have the opportunity to fully introduce myself, I am completely stopped by a hypnotic grin. My words are halted. It’s like a forced flashback to kid self, you know, that tongue-tied moment where your speechless. A feeling that I rarely have these days, but one that has me stopped in my tracks this evening. “I know…” she reaches to me; “…I’ve seen you meeting people before.” Seems we have walked in the same circles and I was totally unaware. Humbled, I find myself on the other side of my own soapbox.

Her name is Billimarie, and yes, she is the real deal. “I never started doing this for any money…” she explains, “…I’m just doing it to get to know people and to share my poetry.”

A smiling face walks up as we are chatting, with poem in hand; a bill is dropped in Billimarie’s typewriter case. She looks up, and with signature style, expresses a heartfelt “Thanks.” Then back at me, “but one day someone told me that they would not feel good about themselves if they did not give me something in return. So I learned to accept payment, but I’m still OK to not be paid.”

“Can I write you a poem,” Billimarie asks. With empty pockets I swallow hard. “I’ve got no cash on me and am embarrassed to have you write one.” She smiles and looks me in the eyes (Crud, I’m twelve again).

“OK, I’ll do it.” I begin to revert to my shy younger years, but drawing to my present self, I dig deep and shake it off. “I would love that… but first can I ask you a few questions?” With thoughtful reflection Billimarie agrees.

Question One
If you had the stage… the undivided attention of the world… and all were listening… What words of wisdom, council or advice would you share?

“’Hello how are you!

There is too much talk in the world, and not enough listening. That’s where we get lost and feel alienated around each other. We have to acknowledge, ‘my feeling are just as valid as your feelings… my experiences… my knowledge… my thoughts… my goals… my ambitions are just as valid as anybody else’s.’” Big pause… “That’s what I would say.

I would ask people how they are… and hope for an honest response. And if not an honest response… then at least a response… and see what happens.”

Question Two
Looking toward the future… as far, or as close as you want to imagine (one year or hundreds of years)– Where do you see the people or the planet … or, what do you think we should be doing now to prepare for the future?

“I used to think in bigger terms. I was in love with this concept of saving the world, what I think is the way most passionate people are. Wanting to help… wanting to make things better… wanting to offer something. And that is beautiful on it’s own terms. It’s just now I’m seeing the world a little bit differently as I mature and continue to do things.

Quite honestly something that we need to do… something that we should teach ourselves to do… is to denounce the idea of a future… to denounce the idea of security… and to take pride in the moment– as cliché as that is. Because there is no future without being here… So we have to ask ourselves… what are you going to do right now, regardless of fear, regardless of the past? I think this is one of the best things we can do to build a better future. Which is slightly paradoxical, I’m aware. But a lot of the amazing things in life are.”

Billimarie, thanks go to you… for your wisdom… for your gifts… and for the healer that you are. You are truly magical.

Talk soon my friends,

Richard

“For Our Future Warriors”

January 4, 2023October 7, 2013 by richard radstone

I just finished watching a simple little film, “Into The White.” Directed by Norwegian director Petter Naess. In it, two flight crews, one from a German bomber and the other from a British plane, find themselves surviving together in the frigid conditions of Norway’s mountain, where both planes crashed in a remote area. It’s one of those enemies become allies plots that mainstream Hollywood often uses for theatrical cache. But what make this story remarkable is the factual incident that backs its storyline and outcome. Not trying to make myself out as a film critic… the farthest thing from my mind as I write this entry. What is relevant…? The ethical question the film poses.

Mainly this, How willing are we to look beyond our sociological histories and political programming?

A thought, that willing to or not, forces us to ask… why is it that at many times, we so easily dismiss the basic fact that we are all equally human? Evolved from similar wombs of mirror like origin we were all once the same innocent baby. Infants with no agenda’s propelled by hearts meek and mild. Added to that many of us are parents, husbands, wives, brothers and sisters. Statistics that are undeniably real and with the resonance of a musical track can lovingly ring in our memories. An aspiration that can pause us to look upon the kind, and yes, even more difficultly, the impolite with at least a note of compassion– regardless of attitudes, politics, religion, race, creed or own bias in acknowledging one absolute… Our blood bleeds the same red?

For the characters of Into The White it took a literal fight for survival to break the walls that separated them. Most likely we’ll never find ourselves in the depths of having to make a life or death decision in regards to whom we are associating or fighting with. But on a macro perspective, comparable wall-dropping opportunities appear to each on a daily basis. Hour by hour, we have to reason with our internal motivators in navigating how we choose to relate with, and react to, our fellow beings. It matters not if in a social or business situation. It matters not if we are outspoken or reserved. It matters not if we are frightened or confident. What matters is the wake we leave in our paths.

The grand reflection– Do we desire to build or do we desire to conquer? We all possess the seeds to empower incremental change to the world around us. Be it negative or positive, the choice is independently ours.

Much like the conflict illustrated by a Hitler manipulated crew of Into the White as they overcame their biases learning to literally love they’re, at first, very arrogant British pilot and gunman, we too are suspect to the influential voice of propaganda (and know that I’m not supporting Hitler’s agenda by any means). Sure, we are not two drastically opposing Air Force crews forced into arctic survival. We are much more diverse than that. But in a strange way we are not that different in being suspect to loosing ourselves to whatever programming we are living. Similar to the resolve and loving friendship that is illustrated by the German and British flight crews of Into the White, we too have what it takes to revisit the reasoning behind our intent.

That is why Operation-365 exists, to rally us to look away from the “they are this! Or they are that!” Assumptions that tend to hit the innocent populous with tyrannical frequency in reeking heavy casualty. For what reason it happens, I’ll never fully understand.

I’ll leave answering that question to the scholars and analysts. For now, my concern lies elsewhere… in the hearts of each of us.

We… “The Silent Majority…” Us… “The Real Every Day People,” have cause to stand together ignoring any diverted course that some so diligently work to place before us. That we, the majority of the every day, will fight with tenacity to focus on one very definitive and empathetic finish line– that being passing the baton of what’s right. What’s to come? I cannot predict, but here is one thought that might be persuasive, At the end of the game, may we all be able to rest our heads knowing that our footprint mattered… and that we trained our future warriors well.

All for now, my good friends,

Richard

SideWalk Ghosts / Interview 373: "The War Is At Hand"

February 5, 2023September 26, 2013 by richard radstone

“Learn from your first mistake and keep going after it… it’s going to be different next time.“
Easy words to share, but very difficult to follow, but as they are delivered by artist Carolyna, today’s stranger… now 365 friend of 365, I feel a peace in knowing she follows her advice.
I only meet with her for a few minutes, yet as we chat, there is a common thread of perspective. Viewpoints that reach far beyond art and dive under the skin in examining what make us tick a species human. Sure Carolyna, wears the coat of the creative. And, as a very skilled ceramic artisan, speaks a dialogue of the same account. But what she speaks of is relevant to the global issues that are painfully ransacking the Earth’s population; thoughts that can provoke us to survey our outlooks (whether conservative or radical) on how, what and why we contribute to the world around us.
Albert Einstein quoted, “Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results,” a theory that led him to great achievement in his life– as well as uncountable contributions to the betterment of the mankind.
“Don’t mind-fuck yourself and tell yourself this time it is going to be different,” Carolyna states in building upon her opening comment. A change of vocabulary, but in a way, so aligned with the magnificent Mr. Einstein.
“There is a lot wrong with the world…” Carolyna expands, “…and a lot of things we can’t just change. Like we can’t force people to have empathy towards each other or animals or something like that.”
Carolyna continues her dialogue, but as she does, I have to admit that her expression of empathy catches me so profoundly that is become difficult to not wander my mind as we chat.
Per Mirriam-Websters Dictionary
em·pa·thy – noun (ˈem-pə-thē): the feeling that you understand and share another person’s experiences and emotions : the ability to share someone else’s feelings.
Many a time we speak of issues, politics, religion, race and an endless list of reasons for the condition of world affairs. Billions of dollars are spent on programs and initiatives. Most of which somehow seem to often widen the already fractured gaps in society. Yes, as Carolyna states, there are a lot of things in the world that we can’t change; but what of the things that we can?
Sure, I am a hopeless optimist, have my bad days as we all do, but all in all I try to keep my eyes open. Yet, after meeting so many amazing strangers… all so diverse, all with something to say, and all with the same blood as I– I have witnessed first hand that there is more than enough good to go around. At is center I’ve noticed a common thread… You got it… Empathy.

Carolyna challenges us, “I guess the more love we expose people to– the higher hope they have of changing. And that might change the world in the future. Like, if we give more people opportunity to express themselves, we become more like individual beings vs. a cluster-fuck of people. I don’t know… maybe that might help us find ourselves and we might be better human beings in the future.”

I ask. “What do you mean by express ourselves…? Verbally? Artistically? Soulfully?”
“However your way of expressing yourself may be…” She responds, “…Some people can’t express themselves vocally or verbally. They have to blog or something, through music or poetry. Some people fight… whatever it may be… just do it.”
“Some people fight?” that throws me for a little loop. Yet in reflection, I think I understand what Carolyna is speaking of– Simply this… the fight for what’s right in humanity… not so much for what’s there to own.
As so well described by Gaetiao, our Sicilian friend of Day 218: “We Need to Show More Open Hand Than the Fist.”
Carolyna… Gaetiao, thank you for your perspectives, looks like you have inspired us to arms. But this battle is really not a war as we know it… for as we write our orders and ready our weapons, we are called to adjust our tactics… The new war is upon us and our attack plans are clear. At the center are two basic commands… Proceed with empathy and strike out with the open hand.
Talk soon my friends,
Richard

SideWalk Ghosts: Ved’s Call to All Great Citizens

February 5, 2023September 24, 2013 by richard radstone

It has been a while since we’ve received a survey contribution from anyone. Today Interview-365 gets a kickoff as we extend a warm welcome to our new friend, Ved of New Delhi, India.
Our doors will remain always open to all of you who would like to share your words of wisdom. PLEASE CLICK HERE TO SHARE.
Also, we are entering day 2 of our “Good Day for Seven Days” challenge. Plenty of ways to be part of what we are doing. Never forget, your works and words do matter; and, we combined have great power to inspire the many.
VED’S ANSWERS:
If you had the stage… the undivided attention of the world… and all were listening… What words of wisdom, council or advice would you share?
“Keep religion a personal thing. Faith is personal. Respect everyone and give space. We have enough problems to solve. The least we can do is unite to fight against bigger problems like poverty, hunger, global environment, illiteracy. If you don’t want to love all, don’t, but don’t spread hatred. Every human on this planet commands respect for there is at least one aspect or a thing that they’re better than you.”
Looking toward the future… as far, or as close as you want to imagine (one year or hundreds of years)– Where do you see the people or the planet … or, what do you think we should be doing now to prepare for the future?
“From where I come from I see a decline in the quality of education. Unless corruption is uprooted from the society it’ll continue to rot our culture. The main aim of education should be to bring up better citizens but unfortunately we’re bringing up only certificate holders and not great citizens. If we are, they’re being outnumbered by bad ones and they’ll be bad parents one day passing on the bad vibes to the society.”

Sidewalk Ghosts / Interview 371: "Of Romance, Technology and Implanted MicroChips"

January 4, 2023July 16, 2013 by richard radstone

Mark advises, “People need to be more open about having an opinion about everything, and actually questioning what they do, why they do it… and especially things that they are told to do.”
Then he questions, “Why then do they go ahead and do it? I think a lot of people do a lot in their everyday life without questioning it.”
Then he councils, “And if people question things a lot more, then I think a lot of things in the world that shouldn’t happen, might not happen–and it’s because people don’t question it. I think just taking the time to formulate your own opinion about something… and it could be something minor… just getting into that routine of actually questioning and thinking. Because too many people, I think, just blindly follow what they are told. And what they do is probably just out of habit as well. I think this would make the world a much better place. And it would make people a lot stronger… it would make the community global.”
We talk about the impact Facebook and other social media has on the way we act and think. Not bagging on it. The new face of communication in here to stay; we’ll talk about Mark’s thoughts on what’s to come in a moment. But for now, the main point of our discussion leans more toward how we use social media. Posing a couple of questions. First: Are we using it responsibly, or are we just fishing for superficial likes? And Second: At first glance, do we believe all that we read and react to it before we gather the facts?
Both excellent points to ponder–points that are core to the approach Operation-365 is following in hopes of inspiring us to raise our heads from time to time, that we may increase our desire for face-to-face interaction with the world around us…. even with strangers.
Mark suggests a path to follow in using social media. “A lot of people will blindly like something because it say, ‘Here is a fact.’ That is utterly is the wrong way to approach it. You can’t question everything, but you should, at the back of your mind, say, ‘Do I really believe that?’ and if I am passionate enough to like it, or to go away and tell somebody else, then perhaps I should look into it before I go and tell someone that it is true or what the real problem is.”
“Informed decision,” I add to the conversation.
“Exactly…” Mark responds, “…that’s exactly what it is… just taking the time to tell yourself that you need to be informed… especially on Facebook.”
He elaborates, “An invalid comment on something that is invalid… what a waste!”
I turn to Mary, “What council do you have for the world, if all were listening?”
She smiles (something she does with constant warmth and charm), “My answer is a little more optimistic… I guess…” Her smile is infectious, and with it bridges to a unifying core idea. “I think that people need to be kinder. Kinder to themselves and kinder to other people. I think that most of the problems happening in this world…” she pauses and skips a beat. “I guess I believe that most people are inherently good and somewhere along the line they are taught certain things and they don’t question things. They get used to a certain way of being and a certain way of living, and they get used to being closed-off to the idea of seeing or experiencing anything new.”
She stirs us to self-examination, “Take your time to open yourself up to not operate with all the frequency of notions that your parents or your society have instilled in you–the good will come out…” a slight pause… “Perhaps that is a little bit idealistic.”
What Mary is talking about has hit at the foundation of what 365 is all about. You’ve often heard me talk of the silent majority–you and I, everyday people doing what we can to live harmoniously with each other. People, although not all in absolute agreement, most often are willing to at least look upon one another with dignity, respect and without scorn. So Mary (and I will take this moment to get personal), I don’t think you are too idealistic. Actually, you are one of the chosen ambassadors in the cause of loving our neighbors.
So I guess that I too am an idealist, but one with a few facts to ground my… yes, overly optimistic perspective. My evidence? The close to two-years of meeting strangers. My findings? The silent majority is real.
I’ve done a little math and the results show that of all the individuals I have approached (I’m guessing now pretty close to 3000), two-thirds are at least willing to engage in a sharing dialogue. Not always on the same page, but of this majority, none have attacked me for my beliefs and I not theirs. Really quite the opposite–we somehow managed to drop our walls and find common ground. People of all race, religion, gender, age, and the ever-argued sexual preference have interacted with one general resolve. That being? That there are far more people seeking betterment and good-will than those of darker outlooks.
So Mary, you are right, and we should all take heed to your wisdom.
“Are you still recording,” (I always record our interviews), Mark inquires.
“Yes.”
In perfect British form Mark acknowledges, “Splendid!”
“In my opinion…” he transitions as he looks to the future, “…even though we have been talking about Facebook and technology, what I think humanity has in store will probably be a more intimate connection between the biology and technology. I would imagine that the future probably holds some sort of implant of future technologies.
“Rather than chin down and staring at your phone to communicate via Facebook, we will be more sort of a global consciences connected by implanted technologies that are tapped in at a subconscious level. And that may help us as a global community.
“Perhaps there is a lack of understanding that we have because we are so extracted from each other. Maybe when we are interconnected on that intimate level, perhaps we’ll begin to understand each other better. Or perhaps we will all start to become so similar by that point that we will become bland enough to understand each other.” Mary chuckles as Mark smiles with a little sarcastic humor. “But I suspect that is probably where we will be in 50…100 years,” he concludes.
Wow… has Mark been smoking too much of the whacky stuff? Absolutely not! He is as sober and confident as any genius can be. You see, Mark is not speaking as if influenced by Sci-Fi Hollywood. He is speaking from fact. Facts that he has gained through his many years as a key scientist and researcher at the University of Reading, where he earned his PhD. Yes Dr. Mark Gasson is the real deal.
He tells me about how microchip technology is now being used for medical purposes. Things like heart monitors, pacemakers and brain stimulators that are used for Parkinson’s disease. “We’ve already got implantable technology that are basically computers.” Mark explains, “And a lot now have Wi-Fi so that health information can be taken out of these things remotely. So the fundamentals of that stuff are already available. Look at the rapid development of technology. A few advances of medical technology and the tangible benefits of implant technology is there.”
He rolls up his sleeve. “Do you want to see my bump?” It’s a little microchip that has been implanted in Marks hand. Here is a link to the whole story of why it is there.
Mary breaks in with a smile, “10 minutes before my meter expires.” She runs to put more change in. I take it as a sign, asking me to respect Mark and Mary’s time.
Mark and I small talk for a few minutes and when Mary’s returns I know it’s time to wrap things up.
“Mary… you’re thoughts on the future?” I turn to her as she sits beside Mark. “I don’t necessarily know where the world will be in a year or 100 years. But the less isolated… the less polarized, separated and defined in the small ways we are… the better things will be.” She opens up a little further. “My experience with people who are very closed off and have very different opinions about the world and other people… but when they actually know someone who is of a different religion, or a different sexuality, creed or political belief than they are… then they have sympathy in a way that they never did before—when they were sitting around a table with people who were exactly like them; thought exactly like them or did the things they did.” Another infectious Mary laugh… “Hardly deep.”
But coming from Mary, it is deep and meaningful. She tells me of her family differences and of experiences with friends. All of who, she says, have opened up over the years, and all of whom she speaks of with the greatest love and compassion. It is obvious that Mary has a huge heart.
“Anybody who doesn’t close themselves off… gets to know someone,” she continues, “…and that is connected to an inherently good thing. I think that people want to connect with other people. And if you are open to that change, then it can change you. But you have to be open to the change.”
OK, curiosity is killing me. I know it’s time for me to depart, but there is one last question that I have to ask, “Sorry if I’m getting too personal. Are you friends, family, co-workers?”
“It’s our third date,” Mary lights up.
Mark, Mary… Thank you for allowing me into your lives, and especially during your third date. Your words are wise and your facts well founded.
Happy romancing my new friends!

Sidewalk Ghosts / Interview 370: A Man Of Pure Intent

January 4, 2023July 13, 2013 by richard radstone

Pat opens up, “Learn as much as you can on everything. Don’t just limit yourself to one aspect. Your brain is always learning. It’s a processor. You might fail a couple of times, but it doesn’t hurt you to keep trying until you master it.”

Homeless for three years, Pat is one of the many who have been hit hard by life circumstance. A man of honor and intellect, he works past his trust issues as he soberly speaks with us regarding the hand that has been dealt him.

“After three years on the streets I just established a place to live. It’s a 10’x10’ shed in a friend’s backyard. I worked out a trade in doing the gardening and house caretaking. I’ve got some of my stuff back and I’m getting back on my feet. But it’s hard. You have to come out here all the time to find cans to make money for food. It does not leave you much time on the computer to look for a job. And if you do, you send a resume. And how many resumes have already gone there… 1,000, 5,000?”

Right now Pat does have a seasonal job, sharpening ice skates at an outdoor skating rink. Yet, it is only for a few months of the year. The money does carry him a bit, but he is looking for a re-hire in the trucking industry. Now, the skeptical might say that Pat is living off the system. Perhaps some might even judge his character by assuming that he does not even desire employment… I assure you, that is not the case. Pat explains:

“I was brought up with ethics. I was brought up with principles. I was brought up with standards. I was brought up with honor. I did not have a choice. I mean, when I was born I was already in the military. My father was a sergeant and taught me the meaning of work.

“Some people look at people and say, ‘What a looser. He’s picking trash to get food, and he is probably this or that,’ but I have never collected welfare. Never in my life. I’ve never gone that far to get that much help from the government, or the State, for that matter. I mean… I could at any time. But I choose to make my own way.

“…Anybody could be in my shoes.” Pat compassionately proposes. “I had two houses at one time. I had two trucks, a motorcycle and a boat… I had a lot of shit. But then my life started collapsing.”

Pat calls himself a survivor. A well-earned title that can be summed up with one undeniable fact–Pat is on his own. “My father died in 69. I was 10. It happens”

“Mom became a full-time drunk in 70s. I took care of the kids. I had a younger brother (6 years) and a younger sister (1 ½ years).”

“Are your brother and sister OK?” I ask.

“I already buried them… they’re all dead,” he matter-of-factly replies. “I’m the sole survivor of my family. Mom, dad, grandfather, grandmother, uncles, aunts, brother, sister, my lover, my kids… it just goes on and on.”

We shift gears to the future.

“You don’t talk to people anymore. They are too busy texting,” Pat begins.

“Electronics are supposed to help us, but I think they are doing more trouble than we accept. People go to Google too fast. When I was a kid we went to the library and looked things up. What happens if they shut down the Internet?

“Every generation is getting lazier. I remember sitting with my grandfather. Sitting around the campfire telling stories. Now they walk down the street, too busy texting. Or they have their iPads or have their plugged ears with their screaming music. What happened to, ‘Hey, how you doing?’

“I don’t get the new generation. I sit back and say, ‘Are you kidding me! Is this what we have to look forward to? Is this our future?’

“And what if something catastrophic happen–people today can’t build a shelter, can’t farm and can’t even start a fire without matches? People who have gone through survival training, served as a Marine, like myself, and my father, might be OK… but what about everyone else?”

Pat talks of a compelling resolve. Although the premise is dark, he suggests that the outcome may fall toward the positive. “We need a war.” He directs, “We need population adjustment. We have an immigration problem. I’m an American, but I’m an immigrant myself. My parents came over on a boat. But we went through the system. We took the tests. We got our citizenship. We didn’t get all this free shit. Now it takes about 13 years to get citizenship. Hell, they’ll be grandfathers by then. The government has to figure a better way.”

War? A very extreme proposition–one that is presented by a man who has served his country (a full-term as a Marine); an idea that no-one of just mind wants to entertain. But Pat has lived a tough life and has experienced the hurting effects of loss of family, livelihood and, I’m sure, some of his dignity. Yet in speaking with him, I can only speak of a man of honor and conviction. A man willing to do what is just in his mind and a man brave enough to stand behind his word. He tells you what he feels and you know where you stand. And that itself is to be admired.

“Do you drink?” I inquire, (an assumption that far too many make when meeting the homeless).

“Only three times a year,” Pat replies. “I’ll drink a fifth when I celebrate my birthday, on the Fourth of July and for New Year’s.

“August is my birthday and I’ll get shit faced. I’ll say, ‘Happy Birthday to me. There ain’t going to be no party… no bells and whistles… no cake. No one gives a shit. No one matters.

“You know who you matter to.” I point to the sky.

“When I go to heaven,” Pat states, “I’m going to Hell, because I want to know why he took everything away from me… and he better have a damn good reason or I’m going to break his nose. And I know down there, He doesn’t want me… I don’t know. I could go either way.”

I assure Pat that he is not evil. I know this for certain. The last two years of approaching strangers has put me in the path of 1,000s of people. I’ve met some of the most amazing individuals, and frighteningly, a few that I felt may have been truly evil, and there is nothing in Pat’s continence that exudes anything close to the coldness I’ve encountered from several very scary people I’ve come across. All I see is a man doing his best to deal with the stress of his situation.

We talk of the fact that anybody is able to commit bad acts. Even the best of people, if pushed to their limits, are capable of terrible things. But that is different from having pure evil in their hearts. We talk about the balance of true justice and restitution. How punishment has to fit the crime.

Pat is no fan of the current system. “True justice is not like the court system as it is now and the government loopholes. Before they pass anything now they have to figure out how they are going to make money.

“My motto… Burn the government down and start again,” he jests as we jump to a discussion of the foreclosure crash. “That was a fire sale,” Pat summarizes.

In the end we conclude that everyone on earth has a purpose, and for those who have since left this planet, perhaps they have left us for a higher call as well.

I call Pat a new friend. He prefers to be called an associate. In this we agree on middle ground. We are all human beings living side by side.

Pat– Thank you for your wisdom. Your words do matter my friend.

SideWalk Ghosts / / Interview 369: “Love, Dream, Conquer”

January 4, 2023July 4, 2013 by richard radstone

Miriam begins “at my tender age of 24, what words of wisdom do I have?” I’ve put her on the spot with my question. But after just a second of thought, her response is clear. “Be true to yourself. Don’t live your life based on what you think you should be.” And with a smiling laugh, her personality glows in summing up her council… “Love, dream, conquer.”

I run into Miriam and Kim this afternoon on the eve of the 4^th of July, a day that America celebrates the beginning of its independence from past days of unfair taxation (among other things); a day that millions pay homage to lives lost in the fight for a better future, and a prompt for them to pause in evaluating the reasoning behind whatever patriotic perspectives they may have.

For over 200 years this day has come and gone. It has been celebrated to the fullest degree by many, as well as mocked or scorned by others. But one thing is certain about this day. It is a tribute to the bravery of “we the people.”

We the people– three powerful words that literally ground the beginning of Constitution Of The United States of America, as written, “We the People of the United States, in Order to form a more perfect Union, establish Justice, insure domestic Tranquility, provide for the common defence, promote the general Welfare, and secure the Blessings of Liberty to ourselves and our Posterity, do ordain and establish this Constitution for the United States of America.”

I make no claim in being an expert in regards to the full content of the Constitution. And in my quick research of it, do see that it has undergone a series of amendments. But never the less, this grounding opening has never been modified. Although, I’m sure that there a many power parties who would welcome superseding it with a modified version; perhaps “we the loudest,” or maybe “we the hidden agenda” or something of that sort. But that is a whole other story; one that is barbed with sharp spears of wavering opposition– An argument that takes on the form of a morphing fire-breathing dragon. One that would devour all the uniting work we are striving for in the building of our 365 community. I’ll pass on saying any more and leave it in the hands of your good conscience.

Back to We the people! Diverse, opinionated, individual and passionately believing in the paths that we as human beings have right to follow. In meeting Miriam and her partner Kim, I am charged to make a claim. One that directs us to not open our minds and hearts in accepting the fundamental truths that are part of our personal spiritual and psychological make up. But, more profoundly to give the same respect towards those who choose to live their lives according to a set of outlooks contrary to ours.

Now I’m not supporting the evils and atrocities that are epidemic in the world. I assure you that I am not burying my head in the sand in not address the multitude of horrors that so terribly occur on a daily basis all over the globe. The senseless murdering of the innocent, the raping of body and soul, the greed of the unquenchable and the suppression of human dignity that spawns from the lesser majority.

But in this darkness, can be found a greater light. Something that in speaking with the thousands we have met over the last several years, has allowed us glimpse to the good that abides in the hearts of the many. Through this, one fact is rising to the surface like the finest of cream. We are the greater majority. You and I, everyday people, living every day lives. The quite ones, us, working in the background of societies loudest, are actually the ones holding the keys capable of enacting real change. It is in our personal circles of influence, and through our example, where long holding effects can take root. Not like the bolstering thunder of temporary reform or of won high-profile battles; but victories that will carry forth long-lasting and plentiful fruits to future generations. That is… if we have the courage to preserver the screaming tongues of the divided.

We will all never agree on any one issue. That is what makes us magnificent and progressive as a society. As I see it, the most catastrophic thing that could happen to us would be to become homogenized society. There will always be conflict, and we have to go through it to master our own selves. Without it we become numbed and sheepish. Open to giving in to the hand of the strongest oppressor or those smiling over their own hidden agendas of conquest.

“So how is it that Miriam can use the word conquer in her opening remarks? Richard! Are you calling her an oppressor!!!

I promise that is the farthest from my mind. You see… Miriam uses the word along side of two even more powerful words. Those being “love” and “dream.”

Miriam is the real deal. Her very value system is under attack. You can see the hurt in her eyes as she and Kim continue to open up in our conversation; a conversation in which neither of them take side in condemning either their opposition or their comrades.

Without guile Miriam shares her heart, “Why do people try to make others feel badly for who they are? There is no reason for that. You don’t have to agree how I live my life. I’m a good person. You don’t have to hate me for being gay.”

Now I’m a heterosexual… always have been… always will be. And in being so, I have also received similar hate words for my lifestyle. But key to our discussion is this. We both agree that love is the greatest resolver, and as we do, we share a dream for the world ahead; a dream that is not caught up in the thunderous wars of the stirred up majority; a dream that more people will do their best on an individual level to simple love one another, regardless of any single victory, or loss, of worldly battles. And my guess, if more of us would do that… We’d see a lot less hate and a ton more lasting resolves.

I love these ladies for their courage and willingness to not pick up arms in joining, nor in falling, to any of the hate tribes.

Kim chimes in, “Follow your heart. I believe there is a positive already laid out for all of us, and whatever path you land on is the path you are supposed to be on. Stop trying to force certain things to happen in your life that aren’t meant to happen right now, or ever. To just accept things that are coming into your life. Every person comes into your life for a reason. To make you better or the make you learn a lesson. Know that there is a path for you to land on. And take that path… Be happy.”

I ask about the future and what we can do now for a better tomorrow?

“That’s a tough question…” Miriam pauses, “… loving one another and accepting people… that’s it. That’s what it comes down to. There is so much hatred and anger in the world. People just forget to stop and to understand that other people are facing struggles and daily battles too. We are not stopping to try to understand others. We are automatically assuming that they are the bad guys, or that they are not going to understand what I am going through or what not. We are just not loving each another for our differences. Instead, we are hating people for our differences.”

Kim gives us a path to follow. “We need to teach our little ones that we are not on the world for ever. And, they can make an impact on others. We need to start teaching them now. To look at people and love one another for what we have to offer. That’s where it has to start. The world is becoming smaller. We can interact over the Internet. We can communicate with people across nations, in schools, just exposing people to others differences.”

Miriam smiles, and with a nod, confirms Kim’s assertion, “I agree,” she simple states.

The world is becoming a much smaller planet and there is much work we can do vicariously over the electronic wavelengths. Yet there is one thing that lays uneasy with me in welcoming the use of new media; a tool that I am personally grateful for, and am obviously using to share the ideas we discuss. However, there is a Pandora’s box we must be aware of. No matter how spontaneous our digital society becomes, it will never fully replace the resolving power of true face-to-face interaction.

We are people… remarkable, unique– able to love unceasingly, and sadly, also to hate with utter lack of compassion or remorse.

My wish for this celebrated day of independence…? That we all, at least for a day, take a moment to look our fears directly in the eye; to examine the depths of the motivation behind what angers us, and in doing so, step for a moment into the shoes of those who differ us– Perhaps, it not about the issues at hand. We all know there are battles that each of us will win and there are battles that we will lose. But at the end of the day, when we put our heads on our pillows… readying to close our eyes in rest… or even death… can we look at ourselves in the mirror and make this claim? “Although at times my heart ached, my mind was troubled, my lifestyle, or even my faith was questioned… I did not hate… nor did I persecute my fellow human.”

Miriam, Kim, thank you for allowing me into your lives. May all your dreams come true my new friends.

Sidewalk Ghosts / Interview 368: "The Bridge Builder"

January 4, 2023June 26, 2013 by richard radstone

“I know you,” his eyes open, “do you remember where we met?”

Instantly we both laugh in unison, “Come to Canoga Park… Things are looking up!!”

I’m blown away. After almost 9 months of recess from my interviewing strangers… I have been directed to a friend met during last year’s daily interviews.

It get’s a little weirder. Sorry if I sound too metaphysical, but I have zero explanation for an earlier beat to this evening. Had no idea of where I would start in this re-launch of Project-365, so I decided to pick it up where I left off. Just get in the car and drive. The rest will unfold as you follow your intuition. That’s what I do. And as I pull out of my driveway, something tells me, “You have to pop your head in at that psychic on Ventura Blvd. The one that you approached last year and have since not gotten out of your mind.”

I get there, she remembers me and is happy to hear that we finished our first year; but she graciously declines to be interviewed, “Thank you, but I can’t be photographed. And perhaps I am not the one you are meant to photograph tonight. Maybe I’m just your starting point.”

Not that this deflates me, but I leave with a strange peace that is mixed with a little overcompensating spirituality. “Follow the path that is in front of you,” I mind chant to myself as I walk a mile or so, not passing a single soul. Yeh, I’m in the groove now, the spirit is guiding me. SLAP!!! Crud, I only put enough change in the parking meter for 30 minutes. It’s taken me 20 minutes to walk to the point where I am. 20 + 20 = 40 minutes. The last thing I want to go home with is a $100 plus meter violation. I turn and double-time it.

Sweat on my brow, I drop my much missed 30 pound camera backpack into the passenger seat. I lower my head, and in happy defeat and rev up the motor for a continued drive.

“Well that went well!” I smile to myself. “Maybe I’m just your starting point?” still bouncing in my mind.

I drive aimlessly through suburban neighborhoods; re-living last years experience of feeling like a stalker as I look into the unknown faces of many a front yard dweller. “Richard, if you pull into any one of these houses, you are going to get shot. No one is comfortable with a strange vehicle appearing out of nowhere on their property.” Plus, I can’t stand being trapped behind a windshield when I am trying to make friends. Way too impersonal and isolating.

I decide to go to the local train station to see what shaking there. Quick U-turn and I’m on my way. Never get there.

Only four miles from Chatsworth station, I get this feeling when I see a man watering his law. “Turn around! Now!” it whispers to me. “Alright, why not,” I schizophrenically bargain with my subconscious self. One minute later I find myself again street parked, and with the endeared weight of camera again on my shoulder, I lock my car for a brief walk to the place where I had seen the watering man. Again, I never get there.

Not four steps from my vehicle, there is another man sitting on his porch. “Hello,” I share. He responds, “I hope you don’t mind, but can you move your car back a few feet, I need to rinse the sidewalk (he had just finished mowing his lawn).”

We chat generally for a moment, when his eyes open, “I know you!”

No way! Was my psychic friend inspired? Did she sense something when we met; was it a lucky guess or a brush off? I don’t know? But one thing is certain. I am where I am supposed to be this evening.

10 miles from our first place of introduction (Day 59, just outside of Henri’s restaurant, during the Day Of The Dead celebration) where he and several of his friends had gathered for this yearly day of festivity.

Even then he chose to remain anonymous and to respect his wishes I will not publish his identity. But there is no need to. What is relevant is the unity we feel.

He invites me to his porch for a neighborly chat. “Would you like a beer?” he warmly offers. “I’m sorry I don’t drink, but if you have a soda or a water I would love that.” No problem, have a seat… I’ll be right back.

I kick back to settle in at the house of a friend, a friend who was once a stranger. For the next hour am engulfed in a powerfully unifying conversation. Millions of people in Los Angeles, and I find myself connected in picking up and unfinished conversation. One that would have never happened if I had stayed home this evening in procrastinating the re-start of Project-365.

Yes, my friend, asks me to not reveal his identity, but today is very different from our first very brief meeting. A meeting where he chose to slip into the background while allowing his friends center stage. Today is the day I really do get to know him, and I have to say, he is a great man.

“’I never finished high school, did not have the grades. One day my dad told me that he was going to do me a favor. ‘Do you want to work?’ he asked me. He set me up where he worked. That was the best thing for me at the time. My dad taught me the full meaning of hard work and great ethics. He worked all his life, building roads for the city. He provided for my family and me. If it was not for him I don’t know where I would be today. He came to the United States with nothing and built a life for us with his hard work. He was a good man.

‘Save you money and buy a house,’ he always told me,’” pointing to his home, “and look what I have.”

But in telling me this, he bridges to his reasoning for the home he has built. “One day I’ll be able to pass on what I have to my daughters,” he lights up, taking a sip of his beer.

“I’m so proud of them, they are so smart, and I would do anything for them.” He face shines, as he looks me right in the eyes. “My eldest is just finishing her nursing degree and then plans on saving to study medicine.” He tells me her age… 22. I’m wholly impressed. “She finished high school with a 4.0 GPA, not like me.” He concludes.

“You’ve got to just love the world,” he tells me as we talk of world perspectives, and sadly of, experiences where he has been treated with guile and judgment.

“It never gets to me, I’ve learned, and my father taught me, that what you give out is what you get back. So I work to give out good.” I sip my water and listen.

“’A few days ago I was in this store. The lady in front of me dropped some money on the floor,” he shares a story. “’I could have just grabbed it and kept it. All the others in line, and behind the counter, where looking at it… like they wanted to grab it. But I got it first. ‘Excuse me’ I said to the lady. She rudely turned, looking at me with a mean expression. I could tell she was judging me as a Mexican. I just smiled. ‘You dropped this,’ I said. Her tone changed as she thanked and apologized to me for her attitude. It was no big deal, I just did what was right.

People need to not step on each other. They just need to love and respect each other. It does not matter if they are Mexican, White, Black, Yellow or Green; we all have the same blood. There is no better feeling than being able to put you head on the pillow at night and being able to know that you passed good things forward.’”

And that is just what we are doing in publishing your words my friend. And to honor you I am giving you a title. I dub thee, “The Bridge Builder.”

Your example has set the stage for our new chapter of 365. May we all take note of the bridges that we build.

Talk soon my good friends.

Richard

SideWalk Ghosts / Interview 367: "To Run or To Hide?"

January 1, 2023June 13, 2013 by richard radstone

Hi friends. I’ve promised you a re-start of our Project 365’s interviews of strangers, so here we go.

I’ll admit, this entry is way past due, and to be completely open about it, I met our new friend last September… only days after completing the one year of daily entries.

Time has just run away, but in all fairness, I’ve been so deep in development of Operation-365 that my bandwidth was too limited to find writing windows. That is different now, as Operation-365 has launched, and my typing fingers are just warming up. Much more to come… I promise.

To pick the story up, we’ll start in the jungles of Hawaii, where I am training a very special group of military photographers (JPAC, I’ve written about them in the past, so you can do a search to read more about who they are and what they do).

For five days, we got ourselves into as many situations as we could, the whole goal… to learn to think on the fly. From jungle to beach, harbor to city to rural Hawaii, we explored, and with every location change we encountered people of the greatest diversity. Hawaii really is a diverse state, and once you look part the tourist traps, it offers a vibrantly captivating culture.

It was the last day of training, and we found ourselves deep inland at the coolest train museum, being offered the privilege to own the place for the day. It was a visual feast of texture and history. Yet all the while we were there, I could not ignore the pull of wanting to visit the home of its proprietor– a humble little construct that resembled a modified military bungalow.

His name, Jim, and all day he graciously opened any door for us. And every time I interacted with him, I could not look past a transcending light of wisdom that shone in his eyes. I knew Jim had something of worth to share.

We found time to chat.

I ask Jim to give us his general council. “Be careful what you ask God for. He begins, “Because God does not give you anything… he will teach it to you. He doesn’t give you patience… he will teach you patience. He doesn’t give you honesty… he will teach you honesty.”

I’m taken a little by his so rapidly exposing his spiritual self, something that so many of us are hesitant to do. But Jim is not evangelical, not judging me or seeking to convert me to any viewpoint, just lovingly sincere in his beliefs. He continues, “Just be careful what you ask for… that’s all you can do. And be careful for who you criticize. You criticize a drunk… two years later you might end up a drunk.”

We’re sitting on his patio. A very humble living space, but in it there is a warmth beyond that of many an ornate palace or house of worship. Jim opens up about his life– Perhaps the key to the feeling that so encapsulates his living quarters. “I’ve benefitted from my lifestyle,” he expresses. “When I was ten years old, my mom deserted me. I came home… nobody there. She sold everything in the house. I ended up in foster homes for ten years. I lived with every single race you can think of. I lived with Japanese, Filipino, Black People, everything you can think of… I’ve lived with them all… and going through the military” (28^th Infantry)… “I think that gave me insight.”

I sense that for Jim, life is not about status… or wealth… or paralyzed by any desire for recognition. For him, it’s about accepting and loving his neighbor. Jim is an example to be honored, and in him can be found the true spirit of Aloha. Something that is impossible to ignore when worn by those who embrace its subtle meanings.

Jim sums it up as he talks of his love for Hawaii, “’I’ve lived almost everywhere. This is the most receptive state to ideals and common courtesy. You can tell… when you go into a parking lot and someone says ‘hello.’ I love this state. We call this state a mixing bowl. There is no time to be racist. Your friends are your friends. Doesn’t matter what color they are… what creed. They are your friends.’”

We turn toward the future. With a deep breath Jim begins, “If we stay on the same path as we are, like any big corporation, we are going to undermine ourselves. We’re going to do ourselves in.” he inhales… “if we stay on the same path. That’s the way I see the country right now.”

A second breath, Jim shifts to resolve, “The way we are going to steer ourselves different?” one more breath, “that’s going to take a lot of work. We’re going to have to do a lot of mind changing… people have to change their minds about what they perceive… what they see… how they act. Number one, you can’t take race into consideration… that’s over! We are all people, we all are workers… we all do everything. Religion? I’m not going to knock you for being Jewish, I’m not going to knock someone else for being something else… You know…” pause… “I don’t know what the solution is… I really don’t. I’d like to know what the solution is, but if we stay on the same path we are on right now… we’re done.

Humans are pre-programmed to destruct themselves. That’s the difference between you,” he warmly gestures to me, “and a bear. You go up against a bear, he doesn’t have reasoning. He doesn’t care. He is going to kill you. You have the reasoning to run, or to hide.”

The reasoning to run, or to hide? Jim’s words intrigue me, a great inspiration to one concluding question. What are we running towards; and, are there any things we are hiding from? I can’t say. The question is daunting, and much too diverse to completely examine in the under 1500 words I’m trying to accomplish in today’s entry.

But what the question does pose is a benchmark of sorts. One that each of us can contemplate as we chart our individual courses to whatever lies in front of us.

Wow! I had no clue of where this journal was going to take us today. It’s like that every time I write one of these essays. Words somehow escape me that are far beyond my controlled thoughts. There is something about opening up to those around us that is incredibly awakening and unifying– Something that I will always encourage all of us to do more regularly. And for anything of insight that may have been carried forward through this entry… credit must be given to the true author of this story.

Jim… Thank you for steering us toward the correct path.

Take care my new friend, and please forgive me for the late publishing of this story.

Sidewalk Ghosts / Interview-365: "We are all in the same sand box"

January 1, 2023April 28, 2013 by richard radstone

We’re happy to share our second response to Interview-365, Wendie from Bracebridge, Ontario, Canada. Thank to all who are beginning to take part in our survey. As soon as we hit the first fifty responses, we’ll publish the link to the demographic statistics. That way we’ll begin to see the scope of the community we are creating.
Operation-365… the power of one voice is remarkable!
WENDIE’S ANSWERS:
Question One:
If you had the stage and all the world were listening… What words of wisdom, council or advice would you share?
“:)”
Question Two:
I’m not confident we will change a great deal in the next 100 years unless people in general wake up and realize we are all in the same sand box and it’s getting pretty messy in here. No matter a person’s faith or spiritual beliefs, the reality is we share one very small planet and we need to take care of it and each other or we will kill it and ourselves.
I heard a young man recently on a TV offer some of the wisest words I have ever heard. He said,”If we go back far enough we all have the same mother and father so let’s just decide to get along.” Makes sense to me. Religion, politics, other human institutions and prejudices divide us rather than unite us. The best piece of advice I could give is to treat everyone the way you want to be treated. Hopefully that would be with grace and gratitude. Love is so much easier than hate.