“Be the change you would like to see in the world.” Quotes Josh, today’s stranger now friend. He continues with his own words… “I’ve noticed that life doesn’t exactly get any easier; you just get more accustomed to going about your daily life. So even though things can get you down and make things worse for you. It does get better…”
Jury duty today… one of the civic obligations many of us have enjoyed on a yearly basis. A room full of sequestered people, some wanting to do their duty while others hopelessly scheme for the perfect excuse to get out of service. But as quoted, via the strangely welcoming and compassionate smile of lady behind window 3, “I’ve heard them all.”
So the room sits, all looking at the floor, dozing off or reading as they wait to be called to bear the barrage of lawyers questions regarding their character. We are a diverse and intriguing group of strangers. I’m sure with many experiences, loves, hopes and fears. So in tribute to Operation-365, I raise my chin up to look around the room. I guess I’m looking for connections. But sadly, far too many are a guarded and shrouded behind self-created walls of invisibility. So amidst the occasional acknowledgement from curious fellow human, most just simply dismiss me as they drop their chins in looking away.
An announcement perks through the silent separation and brings many together as they look up to the ceiling. It’s as if the PA system is more human than the microphone voice of our courthouse friend (as she is in plain sight, standing only feet from us at room’s center). “If any of you cannot commit for 7 day’s, you can ask for a reschedule,” she explains.
Oh, that’s just perfect! Can’t wait to do this again in 3 months. Of course, I can’t stay for 7 more days. Already have lost 4; and if chosen to stay another week, who knows, maybe longer, the pay of $15.76 falls a little short of making my overhead. I was hoping for a 1-day trial. You know, he stole the socks from my bedroom dresser and I have the photos to prove it. Cut and dry. In and out. Must not be my week.
To window 3, as instructed I go. Yet again getting to receive the same paperwork that brought me here it the first place. Not that I like to gripe, but hats off to the systems we have in place. Could there possibly be a better way to schedule us… I don’t know. But a man has to gripe sometime. After all, I’m just as human as you. That said, looks like I’m back in May. Oh summer, how I love thee.
So now I’m standing in line for the said assistance of window 3, overhearing, and yes, buying into the banter of all who are expressing the reasoning behind why we can’t stay. Funny how easy it is to share negative comments with the world around us. So I try an experiment, I turn my thoughts to what the staff must be feeling as, I’m sure, they are overhearing our loudening words of wisdom. I recriminate myself a little regarding my less that positive gut reaction, realizing that we are all equally human, especially the workers servicing this full line of annoyed people. So I back step my thinking, choose not to look for faults, but to merely listen and observe. As I do, a calm face to the left of me comes into bright focus.
Christine is her name and it is with warm spirit that she chats with us regarding her views on compassion, trust and love.
O-365 daily blogumentary has begun, and Christine, thank you for putting us on a fantastic path. You are living proof that it is OK to talk to strangers.
See you tomorrow my friends,
Richard
Last week a good friend (photographer and creative director BJ) and I visited Quartzsite, Arizona; home of the largest open-air collectible gem and RV show in the nation. Every January over one million people, from all parts of the country, fall upon this sleepy little desert town, magically transforming it into a bustling oasis of migratory residents and daily visitors.
Retired snowbirds harbor in state of the art motorhomes, off the grid families relax as they set-up shops of every kind; while top-notch gem traders gather to exchange product and experience. To call the gathering eclectic is a bold understatement, and for certain, Quartzsite is not merely a swap meet. It is an abstract and morphing city. An ever-changing cultural destination, one that now having met many of its citizens, has left an indelible impression on both my mind and heart.
For within its carnival like atmosphere can be proven that diversity is the greatest key to a uniting power that lies within all of us. A power that if harnessed allows us to work together in finding common ground within our own communities.
The interviews of Project-365 awakened us to see, and hear, many insights that were undeniable in their uniting influence. The hundreds we met clearly communicated the positive effect of one individual gesture, one expressed moment or even the simplest sincere act of appreciation can carry.
There has never been a time in history where we are individually empowered the way we are now. Technology has opened the floodgates of information and connectivity, and as long as we have the right to use it without restriction, we have great ability to facilitate positive actions.
This global collaboration of the diverse is here because of WordPress, Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, YouTube and whatever other social and media sources we can use. I am personally grateful for their creation, for without them, Operation-365 and its mission would not exist. But please, consider them the messenger and not the destination as we debark on the O-365 blogumentary (beginning full swing in the next few days).
As the daily interviews and episodes are published I ask that we take the time to look past the delivery method in activating ourselves as Ambassadors within our spheres. In doing so, please take the time to look upon the world around you. Get to know your neighbors and take pause to consider the deeper motivations as to why others act as they do.
This is the beauty of meeting the strangers we now call friends. It is through listening to their words that we may come to know them, the world around us and maybe even ourselves a little better.
With this, a challenge is placed. One that is both entertaining and enlightening. That as we examine the ways we interact with one another, that we might find ways to contribute to our communities. Together, who knows what bridges we can build?
The vast diversity of Quartzsite has proven this thesis plausible. For if over one million strangers crammed into a little town of tents and motorhomes can look upon each other with compassion and respect. Isolated in the middle of the desert as they reach out to each other. Then perhaps whatever they are doing is something worthy of modeling in our own lives.
New friends of Quartzsite… thanks for allowing me to share your words with the world. Your council is lucid and your community is vibrant. Your diverse and loving acceptance has uplifted us all and the dignity you show for one another is an example to be followed.
Welcome to O-365 blogumentary my friends,
Richard
First, to Damian (today’s stranger now friend) as well as to all of my 365 friends, please forgive me for not posting for several months. To be fully honest about it, the holidays, a rush of year-end business and some much needed time with my family. But with that caught up, I am jumping back into doing my part in our mission to build our community. Even readying for another one-year daily project, “O-365,” a 365 consecutive day stranger meeting blogumentary (here is a link the projects Indiegogo). Stay tuned.
I’ll never forget the time spent with new friend Damian, for over an hour he and I conversed regarding the widest range of topics: Culture, Politics, Religion and Race; all subjects that we are socially biased to not discuss. Not even with friends and family we are advised; and, whatever we do, never bring them up in business or casual dialogue. Sadly, and to a point, I agree. But with the acknowledgement of this, I do challenge us to not consider our outlooks towards our support groups, but to rather govern our reactions towards those who are living lives with altering ideologies.
Damian puts it rather bluntly, “Don’t throw a bunch of flowers in my face and call it a bouquet.”
Instead he suggests, “Ask families what they really feel about what is going on. Ask the minorities… what they really feel. If you do, you’ll get some real answers.”
In a way we are all minorities, trapped within the confines of our own minds, beliefs, and traditions. That’s OK. It’s what provides the blessing of wholly living this life experience. But unmanaged these brainwaves can also become a Pandora’s box of head discussions. Thoughts turned to actions as we project ourselves, and our agendas, onto others. You know, those nagging, this is my opinion, and that is theirs… with is conflicting resolutions. Resolves that at many times are troubling to our core selves. No I’m not advocating selfishness or harming others via self-justified atrocities. That would be a blind misrepresentation of the message Damian and I are proposing.
In Damian’s words, “If we infuse people with knowledge. Educate ourselves on what is really going on in society and not what is glorified. Focusing on the glorified is a waste of our time… useless information. If it does not effect or change your life beneficially, and you cannot use it… then what is the point?”
Education, a very soft topic for many, leads to a very sobering question: What is in store for our children and will they be prepared?
Damian is wise, “We have to stop the silly little facades that we put on our children… and our adults… and our families… facades that have never worked. Take the gatekeepers out of the game. Take the guys that stop progress out-of-the-way – The gatekeepers who always want to stop people before they themselves know the answers.
They need to stop trying to take religion out of school. I believe in diverse religion in school. Being able to praise God and being able to say I love you Lord. Waking up every day with a smile on your face.”
Over the course of Operation-365 we have met people of many faiths – from Christian to Jew, Muslim to Sikh, Atheist to Self-Appointed. In this, the majority has come forth with an astounding voice. Proclaiming a message to us all. That it is possible for a community of many faiths and points-of-view to exist in sharing a common set of principles. Being a universal appeal for a safe and good life for our children and the society ahead.
So I’ll admit, I’m bewildered at why far too many get terminally caught up in the fight for righteous correctness? Choosing, by arrogant and often uninformed decision, to completely miss the boat of compassion? An observation that has endlessly troubled me deeply; but what the heck, I’ll take a stab at finding a new perspective…
…Could it be found in the eyes of the children? The very ones that we… the learned adults… do all that we can to condition for what we predict is to come. Perhaps we are correct… perhaps we are way off base…
…But what if we turned the eyeglass for a brief reversal of role? What if we allowed the child consideration in teaching us, and if we did, could we model the way they behave (especially the very young?) towards one another. Might it be plausible that they have something to teach us… we… the adults… the wise ones?
My hope is that the answer is a resounding YES. That through their example may be discovered a set of keys to open our eyes in exactly how to look beyond our differences.
Damian challenges us, “We have to look and scrutinize each other and love one another as a whole… you know what I mean? This doesn’t work if we are constantly at each other throats about color, about income, about who has what… and who doesn’t have what. The thing is, in this society… the only thing that works is if we help each other. If we see each other as black and as white this whole mess is going to continue to be what it is. It’s never going to get any better. What matters is… what is important for our children and for the society we live in.
What I know is this,” he continues, “if we take the time to educate ourselves… Take the time to look in each others background, we’ll find the answer we are looking for.”
“So how do we accomplish this?” I ask
“Take personal responsibility… for yourself… for your kids… and for the environment that you live around,” Damian begins. It is impossible for me to ignore the love and passion for good that I see in his eyes… I listen.
“Always think before you talk… of what you do… because you affect other people. If you do what you say… the life you live… what you’ve chosen to take on as a human being… know that it really does affect other people. The things that you say have the power to destroy someone… or to build them up greatly. Your voice… your words… your tongue can take away someone’s life, or enhance it greatly. Don’t play with God, God is a real individual… and things really happen on this planet.
To the world I would really like to say this. Overcome your shortcomings… throw away personal vendettas… throw away greed, guile, mistrust. Learn to truly like a person for who they are, and not for the color of their skin; because in the end, you lose out, not the other way around.”
He quotes Albert Einstein: “Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results,” a quote that (for good reason) has often been shared by many of our 365 friends.
With the blunt passion that one would expect from Damian, he gives us his concluding words of activation. “We know how far we will go… and we know how far we will not. History has shown us a reflection of ourselves, and what we will do when everything get’s down to the wire.
Don’t be that guy with butter on his head. The one that doesn’t know what’s going on… Be a contributor.”
So I ask myself, as Damian has challenged, what will I do when it get’s down to the wire?
A thought for us all, I guess?
I just stand listening and observing for a while. Watching person after person queue in line for their audience with street poet. A father and son stand quietly as she greets at them. Then putting her head down she, with occasional glances up, begins punching at the keyboard of her eclectically pink Royal typewriter. Both are stoically still, as if testing to see if this stranger can figure them out. A few minutes pass and with a gleaming smile she pulls a little slice of inspiration from the rollers, and handing it the young boy says, “Thanks.”
Thanks… no request for payment… no explanation of her work… just a simple thanks as she shifts her eyes to poem two… Dad.
They look at each other in reviewing the poetry just given them. Dad’s eyes light with amazement as if they have just made a new friend. “I’m ready,” the father stands silent.
I watch for a while. A documentary crew from Mexico curiously surrounds her, a tattooed gansta, who returns moments after getting his poem asking, “What does this say?”
“Those are X’s. I crossed something out,” she kindly responds. He pauses, looking both confused and let down, “I thought it said, sex” he reacts, obviously hoping for an affirmation of his insightful one liner. Smiling and accepting she explains, “those are corrections… that’s all.” Never does she show any sign of contempt. Any reactionary emotion, or any back talk as the now chin dropped dude walks away; surely he must at least feel uplifted by the spirit of acceptance that seems to radiate from her very presence. She returns to smile at the next in line, “Hello.”
In a time where most things have a price tag or some other attached agenda, a decade where far too many are heavily guarded and skeptical, can it be that I have strolled across the real deal– a giver with no intentions other than to share her gifts with the world?
A humble cardboard sign reads, “Free Poetry.” Even though there is no price tag, and with no cash in my pocket (seems that plastic has taken over my life), I am a little ashamed to approach her for a poem. But the draw to speak with her is impossible to walk away from. I find myself trapped in indecision, but as the crowd momentarily thins an opportunity opens. I am pulled in.
“Hi, my name is Richard” I begin explaining the history of 365. But before I have the opportunity to fully introduce myself, I am completely stopped by a hypnotic grin. My words are halted. It’s like a forced flashback to kid self, you know, that tongue-tied moment where your speechless. A feeling that I rarely have these days, but one that has me stopped in my tracks this evening. “I know…” she reaches to me; “…I’ve seen you meeting people before.” Seems we have walked in the same circles and I was totally unaware. Humbled, I find myself on the other side of my own soapbox.
Her name is Billimarie, and yes, she is the real deal. “I never started doing this for any money…” she explains, “…I’m just doing it to get to know people and to share my poetry.”
A smiling face walks up as we are chatting, with poem in hand; a bill is dropped in Billimarie’s typewriter case. She looks up, and with signature style, expresses a heartfelt “Thanks.” Then back at me, “but one day someone told me that they would not feel good about themselves if they did not give me something in return. So I learned to accept payment, but I’m still OK to not be paid.”
“Can I write you a poem,” Billimarie asks. With empty pockets I swallow hard. “I’ve got no cash on me and am embarrassed to have you write one.” She smiles and looks me in the eyes (Crud, I’m twelve again).
“OK, I’ll do it.” I begin to revert to my shy younger years, but drawing to my present self, I dig deep and shake it off. “I would love that… but first can I ask you a few questions?” With thoughtful reflection Billimarie agrees.
Question One
If you had the stage… the undivided attention of the world… and all were listening… What words of wisdom, council or advice would you share?
“’Hello how are you!
There is too much talk in the world, and not enough listening. That’s where we get lost and feel alienated around each other. We have to acknowledge, ‘my feeling are just as valid as your feelings… my experiences… my knowledge… my thoughts… my goals… my ambitions are just as valid as anybody else’s.’” Big pause… “That’s what I would say.
I would ask people how they are… and hope for an honest response. And if not an honest response… then at least a response… and see what happens.”
Question Two
Looking toward the future… as far, or as close as you want to imagine (one year or hundreds of years)– Where do you see the people or the planet … or, what do you think we should be doing now to prepare for the future?
“I used to think in bigger terms. I was in love with this concept of saving the world, what I think is the way most passionate people are. Wanting to help… wanting to make things better… wanting to offer something. And that is beautiful on it’s own terms. It’s just now I’m seeing the world a little bit differently as I mature and continue to do things.
Quite honestly something that we need to do… something that we should teach ourselves to do… is to denounce the idea of a future… to denounce the idea of security… and to take pride in the moment– as cliché as that is. Because there is no future without being here… So we have to ask ourselves… what are you going to do right now, regardless of fear, regardless of the past? I think this is one of the best things we can do to build a better future. Which is slightly paradoxical, I’m aware. But a lot of the amazing things in life are.”
Billimarie, thanks go to you… for your wisdom… for your gifts… and for the healer that you are. You are truly magical.
Talk soon my friends,
Richard
I just finished watching a simple little film, “Into The White.” Directed by Norwegian director Petter Naess. In it, two flight crews, one from a German bomber and the other from a British plane, find themselves surviving together in the frigid conditions of Norway’s mountain, where both planes crashed in a remote area. It’s one of those enemies become allies plots that mainstream Hollywood often uses for theatrical cache. But what make this story remarkable is the factual incident that backs its storyline and outcome. Not trying to make myself out as a film critic… the farthest thing from my mind as I write this entry. What is relevant…? The ethical question the film poses.
Mainly this, How willing are we to look beyond our sociological histories and political programming?
A thought, that willing to or not, forces us to ask… why is it that at many times, we so easily dismiss the basic fact that we are all equally human? Evolved from similar wombs of mirror like origin we were all once the same innocent baby. Infants with no agenda’s propelled by hearts meek and mild. Added to that many of us are parents, husbands, wives, brothers and sisters. Statistics that are undeniably real and with the resonance of a musical track can lovingly ring in our memories. An aspiration that can pause us to look upon the kind, and yes, even more difficultly, the impolite with at least a note of compassion– regardless of attitudes, politics, religion, race, creed or own bias in acknowledging one absolute… Our blood bleeds the same red?
For the characters of Into The White it took a literal fight for survival to break the walls that separated them. Most likely we’ll never find ourselves in the depths of having to make a life or death decision in regards to whom we are associating or fighting with. But on a macro perspective, comparable wall-dropping opportunities appear to each on a daily basis. Hour by hour, we have to reason with our internal motivators in navigating how we choose to relate with, and react to, our fellow beings. It matters not if in a social or business situation. It matters not if we are outspoken or reserved. It matters not if we are frightened or confident. What matters is the wake we leave in our paths.
The grand reflection– Do we desire to build or do we desire to conquer? We all possess the seeds to empower incremental change to the world around us. Be it negative or positive, the choice is independently ours.
Much like the conflict illustrated by a Hitler manipulated crew of Into the White as they overcame their biases learning to literally love they’re, at first, very arrogant British pilot and gunman, we too are suspect to the influential voice of propaganda (and know that I’m not supporting Hitler’s agenda by any means). Sure, we are not two drastically opposing Air Force crews forced into arctic survival. We are much more diverse than that. But in a strange way we are not that different in being suspect to loosing ourselves to whatever programming we are living. Similar to the resolve and loving friendship that is illustrated by the German and British flight crews of Into the White, we too have what it takes to revisit the reasoning behind our intent.
That is why Operation-365 exists, to rally us to look away from the “they are this! Or they are that!” Assumptions that tend to hit the innocent populous with tyrannical frequency in reeking heavy casualty. For what reason it happens, I’ll never fully understand.
I’ll leave answering that question to the scholars and analysts. For now, my concern lies elsewhere… in the hearts of each of us.
We… “The Silent Majority…” Us… “The Real Every Day People,” have cause to stand together ignoring any diverted course that some so diligently work to place before us. That we, the majority of the every day, will fight with tenacity to focus on one very definitive and empathetic finish line– that being passing the baton of what’s right. What’s to come? I cannot predict, but here is one thought that might be persuasive, At the end of the game, may we all be able to rest our heads knowing that our footprint mattered… and that we trained our future warriors well.
All for now, my good friends,
Richard
“Learn from your first mistake and keep going after it… it’s going to be different next time.“
Easy words to share, but very difficult to follow, but as they are delivered by artist Carolyna, today’s stranger… now 365 friend of 365, I feel a peace in knowing she follows her advice.
I only meet with her for a few minutes, yet as we chat, there is a common thread of perspective. Viewpoints that reach far beyond art and dive under the skin in examining what make us tick a species human. Sure Carolyna, wears the coat of the creative. And, as a very skilled ceramic artisan, speaks a dialogue of the same account. But what she speaks of is relevant to the global issues that are painfully ransacking the Earth’s population; thoughts that can provoke us to survey our outlooks (whether conservative or radical) on how, what and why we contribute to the world around us.
Albert Einstein quoted, “Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results,” a theory that led him to great achievement in his life– as well as uncountable contributions to the betterment of the mankind.
“Don’t mind-fuck yourself and tell yourself this time it is going to be different,” Carolyna states in building upon her opening comment. A change of vocabulary, but in a way, so aligned with the magnificent Mr. Einstein.
“There is a lot wrong with the world…” Carolyna expands, “…and a lot of things we can’t just change. Like we can’t force people to have empathy towards each other or animals or something like that.”
Carolyna continues her dialogue, but as she does, I have to admit that her expression of empathy catches me so profoundly that is become difficult to not wander my mind as we chat.
Per Mirriam-Websters Dictionary
em·pa·thy – noun (ˈem-pə-thē): the feeling that you understand and share another person’s experiences and emotions : the ability to share someone else’s feelings.
Many a time we speak of issues, politics, religion, race and an endless list of reasons for the condition of world affairs. Billions of dollars are spent on programs and initiatives. Most of which somehow seem to often widen the already fractured gaps in society. Yes, as Carolyna states, there are a lot of things in the world that we can’t change; but what of the things that we can?
Sure, I am a hopeless optimist, have my bad days as we all do, but all in all I try to keep my eyes open. Yet, after meeting so many amazing strangers… all so diverse, all with something to say, and all with the same blood as I– I have witnessed first hand that there is more than enough good to go around. At is center I’ve noticed a common thread… You got it… Empathy.
Carolyna challenges us, “I guess the more love we expose people to– the higher hope they have of changing. And that might change the world in the future. Like, if we give more people opportunity to express themselves, we become more like individual beings vs. a cluster-fuck of people. I don’t know… maybe that might help us find ourselves and we might be better human beings in the future.”
I ask. “What do you mean by express ourselves…? Verbally? Artistically? Soulfully?”
“However your way of expressing yourself may be…” She responds, “…Some people can’t express themselves vocally or verbally. They have to blog or something, through music or poetry. Some people fight… whatever it may be… just do it.”
“Some people fight?” that throws me for a little loop. Yet in reflection, I think I understand what Carolyna is speaking of– Simply this… the fight for what’s right in humanity… not so much for what’s there to own.
As so well described by Gaetiao, our Sicilian friend of Day 218: “We Need to Show More Open Hand Than the Fist.”
Carolyna… Gaetiao, thank you for your perspectives, looks like you have inspired us to arms. But this battle is really not a war as we know it… for as we write our orders and ready our weapons, we are called to adjust our tactics… The new war is upon us and our attack plans are clear. At the center are two basic commands… Proceed with empathy and strike out with the open hand.
Talk soon my friends,
Richard
So here I am, as at many times, sitting at my desk staring at the yellow-green aura of mercury vapor light as it radiates through my office window. It’s silent and still (4:04am to be exact), strangely contrasting my hasty finger pounding at the keys of my innocent laptop as I look at the origin of this complexion killing ambience… Spectrum Athletic Club, owners of the alley that borders my backyard.
It’s the prefect set up. Noise from open-door Zumba by day, transient campfires by night, and best of all, the ever-changing shape of weed trees that, although cute at first, are now growing to become expanding wedges of home improvement nightmare as they angle my brick walls to the point of collapse. You know, all the neighborly considerations that you would expect a rabid badger to extend upon you.
What? Wait a minute! Richard? The man of optimism and good will is having a gripe session at his neighboring business? Hey, I’m human… just as reactionary and self-protective as any of us. And when brush-offs and half-intended responses to over 3 years of reaching out to the high turnover management of said athletic establishment yields little response, I can’t help but to get a bit out of joint.
I had no intention of beginning this post quite this way… hot under the collar, but from the very beginning of 365 I promised you that I would openly communicate in sharing my feelings and impressions—be it inspired via the meeting of the many strangers who are brave enough to expose their hearts and mind to us, or in whatever content I decided to contribute to Operation-365.
Yes, I’m still reaching out to strangers… do it on a daily basis, and after almost two years of practice it is now habit to the way I live my life. Sure, I’m still getting the expected “You’re a nut job!” from a few. At times even accompanied with some of the most colorful use of vocabulary I’ve ever witnessed. We are such a creative species… I never knew you could use so many verbs in place of adjectives. Language can be so artistic.
I’ve lost count of exactly how many I’ve approached (must be over 3,000 by now), but as we have found out, even though there are more than enough skeptics to go around, the majority of people are still welcoming to what we are doing and are open in engaging with me… the stranger in their lives.
People who are all wanting a better planet, and people who share a mutual desire to be loved and feel safe in their own spheres of existence. From all walks of life and position have I spoken with, and from all corners of the planet have we received comments. All with one resolving commonality… we the majority of decent hearts have much to contribute to bettering the world! A finding that challenges us to examine our own position in what we project to those around us.
Sure, bad stuff happens… to us, and through us. That’s life. We are all doing the best we can to master our own emotional and spiritual dominions. But to what level do we isolate ourselves in the navigation of our journeys. This is the question that I really am examining this morning as I purge my discontent regarding the flow of ineffectual managers who have control of the eroding alley that shrouds the sanctuary that I call home.
What then is my part in the big picture of this life experience? Is it to be guarded, to be the bully, or the victim? Traits that we are all suspect to. Or is it to be pacified, silent and self-protected by standing on the back row of what’s right? Two questions we can all take heed of as we open the doors to the days approaching.
I had zero idea of what I would be writing this morning. All I knew is that it had been way too long since I contributed anything to Operation-365. Life has just been that hectic. A poor excuse, I know, but one that I ask for your forgiveness in overlooking. Yes, I have allowed temporal obstacles to get in the way of my contributions to our awakening of purpose, at least in my written word. But I promise you that I am still a daily ambassador to our mission of empathy.
As for my alley problem… the negotiations are about to begin, not to win the war, or to crush any individual, but to firmly settle on what is fair and right. After all… they are people too.
Talk soon my good friends,
Richard
“About 7 years ago, I had a new f250 super duty white beautiful truck, and a 26-foot cabin cruiser that I loved, and a home south of the Blvd. in Woodland Hills, and because of construction jobs going bad and some cocaine abuse I was arrested for going to a customer’s business and asking to get paid. They obviously had some pull in Santa Monica and had me arrested for stalking… of all things. Because I had no money for a lawyer, I had to do 90 days in L.A. County Jail, which isn’t fun. Then, to get out early, I took the option to go into the Salvation Army where I stayed for a year, living there in Santa Monica. I lost everything in a day… or hours. Was pretty tough. I’ve been sober now for 6-plus years and sometimes things just happen that aren’t very fun and are very painful, but you come through the other side a new person, completely changed and searching for the new ‘you.’ It’s a life-long journey. But it’s much better being healthy and sober. As far as the dreams that were crushed, that’s still yet to be seen. But so many have already been fulfilled.”
Musician, drummer and contractor, Mark, hides no secrets in speaking of his life history. A man of sincerity, he sits next to me today as I hang out at a California park, surveying that area for new friends.
He pedals up with a warm “Hello,” striking up a casual conversation about the day. And you know me… any stranger who talks with me is a new friend of ours.
This whole 365 thing is a very interesting proposition, and now with only a few interviews conducted since taking pause from my original daily challenge (September 9, 2011 to September 9, 2012), I feel as if I am getting a booster-shot to loving the world around me. The vaccine? A much healthier perspective than a closed heart that fears hurt or rejection. The fine writing on the medicine label: “This vaccine may remind you of the fact that we are not alone in any of our personal experiences. You are human, and the more you look beyond the confines of your own skin and situation, the more you may realize just how much slowing down your pace of life will allow you to see the people around you, and yourself, more clearly.”
Yes, my time away from writing daily entries really left a hole in my life, and now that I am recommitting to at least a few articles a week, I find myself reopening my eyes again, and more importantly, my heart, to the world around me… something that I will always encourage us all to do.
It is far too easy to become isolated within our self-defined comfort zone, figuring that our situation is unique and no-one understands. So instead of risking the exposure of dropping our walls, we stand strong to terms like endure and self-protect, rather than leaning to more active outlooks, like share and listen. We program ourselves to defend rather than accept, to argue rather than resolve, to judge rather than to question. A scale of perspective that, once chosen, is the foundation of modeling who we are or who we are becoming. We do have the power to attract or to repel. In the end, the choice is ultimately ours.
One of the greatest men of all time, Mahatma Gandhi, gave us a key to guiding our choices when he said, “The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others.” And sometimes it takes only a simple acknowledgement of the person next to us to put us on the right path.
So the question then is defined… do we pause to allow the therapeutic results of this simplified view of the world to take effect in our lives? And if we do, what will the outcome be? One thing I now know from experience is that, at many times, the most remarkable unifier can be even the smallest of kind gesture. We all leave wakes in our path and they are palpable influences to many around us… no matter where we are. I could write a book on the subject (actually, I am… hoping to have one completed by the end of 2013), but the uplifting possibilities are universal to all who embrace one simple notion: even though we all have diverse histories, attitudes and burdens, we all flow the same red blood.
Mark is brave to open his drug abuse history to us. In doing so he extends the greatest trust and, I bet, he is also rewarded with a greater confidence and purpose for his existence. As he said, “Sometimes things just happen that aren’t very fun and are very painful, but you come through the other side a new person, completely changed and searching for the new you.”
He tells us a little more about his years of cocaine use. “In a way, you just start to pull away from the world and isolate. Because things might not be working out, people might not be responding how you want them to. You start to judge and predict a lot of what is going to happen. Your whole perception of life changes a little bit. You isolate further and further… it’s a bad place to go to. I was not a huge user… I did a little bit every day for a long period of time.”
We talk about the pros and cons of our actions and decisions, arriving at a unified consensus. In Mark’s words, “Being healthy and respecting yourself and your body. Eating right. Sleeping right. Trying to stay close to friends and relationships. Finding out whatever it is that makes you tick… inside. Looking for what makes you happy and trying to achieve it. If it is too big of a goal… having a back up for sure, so you don’t get your heart-broken, and just being kind to people for the most part. Not hating. Trying to smile and wave at people. Saying ‘Thank You, and being polite.”
I have to ask, “How do you find what make you tick?”
“I believe in God,” Mark admits. “There is definitely a higher power.” He continues by challenging us to listen to our internal voice. “Try not to do something if you don’t want too. For example, don’t get married if you don’t think you can do it. That’s a huge mistake that so many people make in their life because they want a mate. I see people in marriages that are really unhappy and divorce is really huge. It breaks everybody apart. Find the things that you really love to do and do them.”
Easily said, but a tall order to fulfill. Especially in a world with so many external influences pushing us to go left or right. Even at times suppressing us to the unhappy acceptance of, “This is just how it is and there is nothing I can do to change it… live with it.”
So I probe further. “How do you find the things you really love?”
Mark quickly responds, “’You have to try things. Sometimes you just have to walk through things and have them happen before you discover what it is. You can always say, ‘I think I am just going to do this.’ For me, I think God just put inside of me a lot of drive to just do things.
“I think there is a bigger power that is watching over us. I think the world will never destroy itself. I think we are kind of on the right track. I think we are getting a little bit better, which I didn’t think would happen. I think people are starting to be a little bit more friendly… feel more open. I see more people starting to go out again. I think we’ll keep growing as long as globally, as a unit, we don’t try to destroy the world. If we can try to communicate more as a people, and be kinder to each other…
“I think we are kind of on the right track,” Mark suggests. And if this is true, there is one point we must fully examine in deciding exactly how we will contribute to what’s ahead… Simply: What make us tick?
Mark, I hope to see you again my new friend!
Mark advises, “People need to be more open about having an opinion about everything, and actually questioning what they do, why they do it… and especially things that they are told to do.”
Then he questions, “Why then do they go ahead and do it? I think a lot of people do a lot in their everyday life without questioning it.”
Then he councils, “And if people question things a lot more, then I think a lot of things in the world that shouldn’t happen, might not happen–and it’s because people don’t question it. I think just taking the time to formulate your own opinion about something… and it could be something minor… just getting into that routine of actually questioning and thinking. Because too many people, I think, just blindly follow what they are told. And what they do is probably just out of habit as well. I think this would make the world a much better place. And it would make people a lot stronger… it would make the community global.”
We talk about the impact Facebook and other social media has on the way we act and think. Not bagging on it. The new face of communication in here to stay; we’ll talk about Mark’s thoughts on what’s to come in a moment. But for now, the main point of our discussion leans more toward how we use social media. Posing a couple of questions. First: Are we using it responsibly, or are we just fishing for superficial likes? And Second: At first glance, do we believe all that we read and react to it before we gather the facts?
Both excellent points to ponder–points that are core to the approach Operation-365 is following in hopes of inspiring us to raise our heads from time to time, that we may increase our desire for face-to-face interaction with the world around us…. even with strangers.
Mark suggests a path to follow in using social media. “A lot of people will blindly like something because it say, ‘Here is a fact.’ That is utterly is the wrong way to approach it. You can’t question everything, but you should, at the back of your mind, say, ‘Do I really believe that?’ and if I am passionate enough to like it, or to go away and tell somebody else, then perhaps I should look into it before I go and tell someone that it is true or what the real problem is.”
“Informed decision,” I add to the conversation.
“Exactly…” Mark responds, “…that’s exactly what it is… just taking the time to tell yourself that you need to be informed… especially on Facebook.”
He elaborates, “An invalid comment on something that is invalid… what a waste!”
I turn to Mary, “What council do you have for the world, if all were listening?”
She smiles (something she does with constant warmth and charm), “My answer is a little more optimistic… I guess…” Her smile is infectious, and with it bridges to a unifying core idea. “I think that people need to be kinder. Kinder to themselves and kinder to other people. I think that most of the problems happening in this world…” she pauses and skips a beat. “I guess I believe that most people are inherently good and somewhere along the line they are taught certain things and they don’t question things. They get used to a certain way of being and a certain way of living, and they get used to being closed-off to the idea of seeing or experiencing anything new.”
She stirs us to self-examination, “Take your time to open yourself up to not operate with all the frequency of notions that your parents or your society have instilled in you–the good will come out…” a slight pause… “Perhaps that is a little bit idealistic.”
What Mary is talking about has hit at the foundation of what 365 is all about. You’ve often heard me talk of the silent majority–you and I, everyday people doing what we can to live harmoniously with each other. People, although not all in absolute agreement, most often are willing to at least look upon one another with dignity, respect and without scorn. So Mary (and I will take this moment to get personal), I don’t think you are too idealistic. Actually, you are one of the chosen ambassadors in the cause of loving our neighbors.
So I guess that I too am an idealist, but one with a few facts to ground my… yes, overly optimistic perspective. My evidence? The close to two-years of meeting strangers. My findings? The silent majority is real.
I’ve done a little math and the results show that of all the individuals I have approached (I’m guessing now pretty close to 3000), two-thirds are at least willing to engage in a sharing dialogue. Not always on the same page, but of this majority, none have attacked me for my beliefs and I not theirs. Really quite the opposite–we somehow managed to drop our walls and find common ground. People of all race, religion, gender, age, and the ever-argued sexual preference have interacted with one general resolve. That being? That there are far more people seeking betterment and good-will than those of darker outlooks.
So Mary, you are right, and we should all take heed to your wisdom.
“Are you still recording,” (I always record our interviews), Mark inquires.
“Yes.”
In perfect British form Mark acknowledges, “Splendid!”
“In my opinion…” he transitions as he looks to the future, “…even though we have been talking about Facebook and technology, what I think humanity has in store will probably be a more intimate connection between the biology and technology. I would imagine that the future probably holds some sort of implant of future technologies.
“Rather than chin down and staring at your phone to communicate via Facebook, we will be more sort of a global consciences connected by implanted technologies that are tapped in at a subconscious level. And that may help us as a global community.
“Perhaps there is a lack of understanding that we have because we are so extracted from each other. Maybe when we are interconnected on that intimate level, perhaps we’ll begin to understand each other better. Or perhaps we will all start to become so similar by that point that we will become bland enough to understand each other.” Mary chuckles as Mark smiles with a little sarcastic humor. “But I suspect that is probably where we will be in 50…100 years,” he concludes.
Wow… has Mark been smoking too much of the whacky stuff? Absolutely not! He is as sober and confident as any genius can be. You see, Mark is not speaking as if influenced by Sci-Fi Hollywood. He is speaking from fact. Facts that he has gained through his many years as a key scientist and researcher at the University of Reading, where he earned his PhD. Yes Dr. Mark Gasson is the real deal.
He tells me about how microchip technology is now being used for medical purposes. Things like heart monitors, pacemakers and brain stimulators that are used for Parkinson’s disease. “We’ve already got implantable technology that are basically computers.” Mark explains, “And a lot now have Wi-Fi so that health information can be taken out of these things remotely. So the fundamentals of that stuff are already available. Look at the rapid development of technology. A few advances of medical technology and the tangible benefits of implant technology is there.”
He rolls up his sleeve. “Do you want to see my bump?” It’s a little microchip that has been implanted in Marks hand. Here is a link to the whole story of why it is there.
Mary breaks in with a smile, “10 minutes before my meter expires.” She runs to put more change in. I take it as a sign, asking me to respect Mark and Mary’s time.
Mark and I small talk for a few minutes and when Mary’s returns I know it’s time to wrap things up.
“Mary… you’re thoughts on the future?” I turn to her as she sits beside Mark. “I don’t necessarily know where the world will be in a year or 100 years. But the less isolated… the less polarized, separated and defined in the small ways we are… the better things will be.” She opens up a little further. “My experience with people who are very closed off and have very different opinions about the world and other people… but when they actually know someone who is of a different religion, or a different sexuality, creed or political belief than they are… then they have sympathy in a way that they never did before—when they were sitting around a table with people who were exactly like them; thought exactly like them or did the things they did.” Another infectious Mary laugh… “Hardly deep.”
But coming from Mary, it is deep and meaningful. She tells me of her family differences and of experiences with friends. All of who, she says, have opened up over the years, and all of whom she speaks of with the greatest love and compassion. It is obvious that Mary has a huge heart.
“Anybody who doesn’t close themselves off… gets to know someone,” she continues, “…and that is connected to an inherently good thing. I think that people want to connect with other people. And if you are open to that change, then it can change you. But you have to be open to the change.”
OK, curiosity is killing me. I know it’s time for me to depart, but there is one last question that I have to ask, “Sorry if I’m getting too personal. Are you friends, family, co-workers?”
“It’s our third date,” Mary lights up.
Mark, Mary… Thank you for allowing me into your lives, and especially during your third date. Your words are wise and your facts well founded.
Happy romancing my new friends!
