richard radstone

“My childhood was fun, crazy and wonderful. Mom was the social coordinator and dad was the orchestra leader. I would have had an ideal upbringing, all except for one thing, my dad’s drinking.”

One of the many reflections from Patrick, today’s 365 friend.

In regards to his growing up, Patrick is enthusiastic, as he exuberantly reenacts endless accounts of growing up in a small Southern New Hampshire town of 5000.

“My parents had tons of parties, people were always over, and  for me, it was a safe time. We knew everyone in the neighborhood. And all looked out for each other. It was way different than it is now.” There is a spark in Patrick’s eyes as he makes this claim.

What I find out in a fast two hours with Patrick is this, “He cares.” Not just about his family (and it’s huge, his mom had 5 siblings and his dad 15), but also for his friends, customers, and remarkably, for the future of our kids.

“No one thinks about each other anymore and too many kids are raised with no common sense or respect.” At the moment he expresses this sentence, a group of unchaperoned teens run screaming past the front of the store. “See what I mean. Right next to me is a tutoring school. How do you think the kids studying there feel about that interruption?” He shakes it off and resumes his discourse on his childhood.

“We respected our parents, my mom was a great woman, I miss her dearly,” showing me his ear-ring which is made from one of his mothers diamonds. “ Both of Patrick’s parents are deceased, but to this day, he respects the life lesson’s he learned from them.

My mom was a feisty Italian and Dad was a spirited Irishman.

Patrick tells me more about his mother and his love and honor of  her. “When I was a kid, if mom rang the bell, we moved our asses to dinner. We all sat as a family every night. mom took great care of us.”

“Dad was a character,” he goes on the share story after story of his fathers colorful personality. Things like one cold Winter night when neighbors put a gag sign in his yard. “My dad ran out of the house in his boxers, and with all laughing, proceeded to spray them off with a hose. He was out there for 30 minutes, in the cold, my dad was just that way.”

I’m starting to get the picture of the passion that must have been in his childhood home.

One thing that strikes me louder than words, and Patrick has many, is the blend of absolute order and creativity in Patrick’s framing shop. Everything is in its place, and his work is nothing short of perfect.

My customers love coming here and most return again and again. “I do not try to up sell anyone. My goal is to help them preserve memories.”

In touring Patrick’s workroom (where the framing magic happens), I come across a shadow box sitting on a perfectly organized work table. He gives me the rundown. “Everything I do is custom. This project will take me hours and I want to make it perfect for my customer.”

Here is what is really cool about this place. It has a “you’re at home” vibe. I get it when Patrick starts to share stories of his customers. “I love the people who come in here, we are a community, and the best compliment I get is when my customers shed a tear in seeing their memories come to life in the framing I provide.” He is incredibly sincere with this claim and I know Patrick cares.

Patrick is funny, very funny. Four adjectives describe him: Smart, spontaneous, inspired and loving.

“When I was 8. I wanted to be Merv Griffin. I even remember one night when my parents went out, leaving me with my brothers and sisters. I rearranged the living room, turning it into a talk show. I role played both Merv and his guests. I’ll never forget it and that is where my quest to know people began.”

I ASK MY QUESTIONS:

Can you share any words of counsel or wisdom?

“Go big or stay home. Life is too short to miss opportunity. And always remember, when you ego is as big as you ass, you are in trouble. And if you don’t enjoy what you are doing, GET THE HELL OUT.”

And that is exactly what he did after years in the corporate world, He got out.

Where do you see yourself in the future?

“Still feeling in love as much as I am now!”

In parting; Patrick share this call to action. “Take care of you mothers and respect the old.”

And please tell the world this, “I am the Framing Fairy, and proud to say it!”

“There is no step by step way to life, All I know is you are supposed to help people.”

After two hours of driving tonight, Santa Ana winds howling at my car, the air stills long enough for me to find Lawrence, who shares the above quote on life.

Yet it is more than still skies that draw me to him. I feel it is destined to happen. Like I said, two hours of driving, during which I loop past the Chatsworth train station three times. Each time with a feeling growing that I must stop.

Finally I relent to that feeling and pull into the station parking lot. It’s a rather quite station, except for the occasional roar of gusting wind. Gust is an understatement, more like a jet blast. The platform is mostly still, a person here and a person there. And with a very long day behind me, my brain is beginning to fail, leaving me to question my reasoning for being here.

I’ll admit, so far the greatest motivator tonight is my lovely wife. I’m Ashamed to say, I came inches from throwing in the 365 towel only hours before. But Terri would not let me, “Quit being a panty waist, get your camera, get out of here and go find somebody. Remember what you said, ‘No matter rain or shine, sickness or health,’ this is nothing today, so you’re a little tired, now go, get in the car and get out!'”

And right she is. Tonight turns out to be an amazing experience. Not by my own power, but by that of Lawrence. At first he allows me only ten minutes, not sure why, but I jump right in, taking a quick set of photos while asking a few questions. There is something about him that is wonderfully peaceful, so a rush conflicts me a little.

I soon find out why we are rushing. No big deal, seems Lawrence has a bus to catch. A short commute to a nearby connection station to connect with a commuter bus. His connecting stop is on route to my home. I offer him a ride and the pressure is off.

With the race for time now off our shoulders we settle into a pleasant conversation in the comfort of our four-wheeled wind shelter.

At thirty-one years wise, Lawrence has the wisdom of ages. “Walk through life to live and learn. Take time to listen to everyone.” Council that he credits to the love of his grandparents, of whom he spent much of his early years eagerly engaged with. “I spent so much time with them, they practically raised me.”

That alone impresses me. How many of us spent the bulk of our youth learning from our grandparents. “They have experienced so much of life, and what they taught me is the basis for my life,” Lawrence implies.

Lawrence comes from a big family, really big. I’m not going to list its scale, best to leave that alone. Doing so would most definitely max out my word count, and there are more poignant points to make in describing my meeting with Lawrence. But what is important here is his love of family.

The basis of his life outlook, his family heritage as set forth by past generations, “Life is about humility, listening to your mind and then having the courage to act on your thoughts. Whatever your mind tells you, you can accomplish. Just be yourself, put it out there, and don’t be afraid.”

And afraid Lawrence is not, He tells me of times of living in treacherous areas and never feeling in danger. “No one bothered me and many helped me out.” I never judged and looked for the good in all people. That alone kept me safe.”

As we commute our dialogue is open, soulful and unified in our desire to know the world around us. Topics like, the importance of not placing judgement, accountability, sin, forgiveness and death. All of which are condensed into one conclusion as described by Lawrence, “If you only look at someone as they are on the outside, you will never hear their story.”

We arrive at our destination, and with conversation still alive, decide to park to continue talking. The topic deepens a little, we share of the loss of our loved ones and, again, link it to the lessons learned from the experience. We agree that there is nothing to fear in death. The only thing to fear is not using life for the right reasons. In the words of Lawrence, “There are so many things you can do, and there is just not enough time to take it in.”

I know, in his statement of fear, he is not referring to the materialistic when he tells me, “You don’t have to have a lot of money, all you need to do is open your eyes, set your mind and relax. There is no need to stress, you’ll figure it out. Stress will kill you and divide you from the world and the people around you.”

Something tells me to ask a new question. After so many days of my own thoughts of why I meet the people I find. I decide to turn the card in asking Lawrence this question: “Why do you think we met this evening?”

He pauses, “Meetings like this should constantly happen. The problem is that not enough people think about the right things. Life is not about ego or power, it’s about humility, listening and honest actions. If more people would think about each other, We would all experience meetings like this.”

What Lawrence is talking about is what he calls, “Atmosphere” Meaning, “What you put out is what returns to you.”

He is talking about what I call, “The Voice.”

We’ve explored it heavily in 365. Many agree with its title, others have their own vernacular for it. But one aspect is common. Like attracts like, and there is a higher power guiding us all. And those who listen are ultimately rewarded. Not necessarily in riches, in health or in status, but in peace.

Lawrence’s future is bright.
“I’m engaged, have a baby on the way, and one day will be helping kids with my own children’s center. I’ve got a lot of life to share and the experience to help children make the right choices.”

He leaves us this quote: “Listen, We are blessed in this world.”

Lawrence, Keep listening!

Last night I promised you a continued story as I briefly introduced you to John. A young man of few words, but what he does say is impactful, “Cherish your family.”

Yes I meet more than John last evening, I am also introduced to his uncle Gabriel (AKA, Bob), who manages the Christmas Tree lot where, every holiday season, the two of them work side by side with their entire family.

As of that moment, something told me that Gabriel had greatness to share. Even then, he was willing to interview, but was more intent on having the chance to clean up a little before being photographed photograph. It was late, and seeing that he had been spraying flock on trees all day, and not feeling quite dressed to be photographed, I obliged.

So here we are in today’s daylight and I’m glad we scheduled this time.

Bob, I hope you are cool with what I am about to title you, it’s s a bold mantle to place. But after spending an evening, and a morning chatting, hearing of your perspectives on fellow-man, the way you hold your family together, and your opinion of the world, there is one personage that comes to my mind, “The Angel Gabriel,” and Bob, I’m happy to say, “You personify him.”

Readers, this entry may seem as if it is written as a personal note to Bob (Angel Gabriel). Please forgive me if it appears too campy.

I really don’t fully know why I’m authoring this entry in this manner, it just strikes me as appropriate, so I’m going to go with it. One thing I am beginning to learn as a blogger, write with your intuition, and that is exactly what I am doing tonight. Hope the experiment works out for all of us. Let me know?

Gabriel, you shared so many gems in our conversation. Life experiences that I can identify with, and many that I can not come close to comprehending.

You patriotism is awe-inspiring, 3 terms in Afghanistan, “remarkable.” The stories you share of the people, and the impact of seeing their gratitude for you, and your fellow servicemen, opens my eyes to the courage and compassion of those who selflessly put their lives on the line to serve mankind. I’ll not take my freedoms for granted.

You speak of your pride for your country and of your love for society. For that I am grateful and, like you, my faith in mankind grows.

There are a lot of good people out there, and in your contribution to 365, you help in bringing us all together.

Your sentiment, “Be good to each other, we’re not here that long,” strikes at the core of my thoughts on mortality, and how fast time really moves. This is a good thing to ponder, and I ask myself this question, “Exactly what am I doing each day, and what are my priorities?”

You say, “Treat every day like it is Christmas. Be comfortable with life, and just live, that’s all.”

Bob, you are the benchmark for peaceful and compassionate living.

When you tell me of your priorities: “Loyalty to Wife, Country, Family, Friends and of your commitment to simply do the right thing. I am thankful to call you a friend.

“I’ll never turn my back on anyone.” You share, and I believe you.

You tell me of your father’s example, “He would help anyone, he was a great man.” It is obvious you are following in his footsteps.

You pray to God, “Have faith in mankind,” when many pray for themselves, and I know your prayers are heard.

Bob, you are a good man. One for us all to model our lives after.

Yes, after writing this entry, I still have to stand strong in my title for you, The Angel Gabriel.

And for you Christmas Tree shoppers:
If you want to go to the friendliest family managed lot in the city, Check out Bob’s lot. Bennett’s Best Christmas Trees, Corner of Victory and Owensmouth. Tell them Richard sent you.

Also, Bob is one heck of an artist, having perfected methods of creating flock magic. He does not just spray white, he creates real life snow and color.

“Treat every day like it is Christmas.” Thanks Bob, I’ll do my best.

Definitely the shortest entry to date. Why? I’ve been asked to return tomorrow. And from what I’ve found out so far. A follow-up visit is well worth while. I’ll be back with the full story mañana.

For now we’ll keep it sweet and simple with one note of wisdom from John.

“Cherish your family!”

Great words to hear as we enter the holiday season.

Thanks John!

OK, you guys are in my life now. 80 days of 365 behind us. You have been with me through dark hostels, airports, Hawaiian tourist traps, edgy laundromats, football fields and rainy nights in naming a few. We’ve had a few laughs, shed a few tears and survived a few scary moments with people of all types. Today you get to hang with me on family business. As I said yesterday, we’re doing home improvement.

You have to know that I spend on average 2 to 4 hours a day on 365, weekday to weekend. Whether it is a busy work schedule, or a recovery weekend, I slack not. So today with a big list of household improvements still in progress, I hope for an easy find of a 365 neighbor. Yes, neighbor, thinking a quick walk around the block will easily run me into someone who would like to join us.

Sadly, I’m proven wrong, and am blown away by a record set of rejections I get today. Turns out to not be such a “beautiful day in my neighborhood.” I’m thinking that perhaps, my wardrobe, shirt and tie (from my church morning), is positioning me to look too much like a sales person. But whatever it is. I’m 15 rejections in, and zero takers. A terrible start.

Licking my wounds, I give up and return to my Mr. Fix It tasks, not sure how the night is going to play out. Even start to have an “is this the end of 365 moment.” I hate it when those enter my mind.

I promise, I’ll not throw in the towel. Too much invested and too many followers. Like I’ve said, “365 is part of me.”

Fate falls in my lap when I run out of Liquid Nail. Amazing stuff for gluing shims to hang peg board. For you contractors, I know? In most cases one would use nails. But I live in a house the was constructed by traveling jugglers, and it seems they forgot to space the studs at 16 inch spacing. So glue it is for me.

However the jugglers have led me to good fortune in sending me to Lowe’s, where I thankfully meet my 365 friends for the evening.

I’m hanging in the adhesive section, and to the left of me is the coolest couple, seems it’s not only I who am deep in home upgrades. They are checking out a shelving unit at the end cap of the aisle. I want to approach them, but there is something really creepy about some dude asking to photograph you as you are in the midst of shopping. With a pit in my stomach and the thought of a 365 all nighter looming, I pass on approaching them. The last thing I want to do is become a menacing stalker.

Well, at least I have the right glue for my home project, and for the moment, this knowledge consoles me in distracting my mind from what looks like the approaching of a no sleep night.

I hit the check out stand, and wouldn’t you know it, right in front of me, the couple from aforementioned adhesive isle.

What the heck, I’m here, they are here. I extend a 365 invite. They accept and release me to a normal nights schedule.

My thanks are extended to my new co-home improvement friends, Julius and Kerri. Two of the friendliest humans around.

It’s sort of a deja-vu situation. How’s that? Talking to them reminds me of the relationship I have with my wife. Their candor is precious and it’s refreshing to watch the fun harassing they give each other. Together for twelve years, Julius and Kerri are mind linked. It is apparent in the respect they share for one another and the quick shorthand they display in responding to my questions.

They are a great couple. We keep our interview short and sweet. After all we are all knee-deep in home fix its and the day is running out.

There is no way to speak for either of them, they are a single unit, something very nice to see in this age of disposable relationships. So much in synch that their answers to my standard questions are unified.

Julius starts with a Bobby McFerrin lyric, “Don’t worry, be happy.” A key phrase that I can see in the glimmer of their eyes. Don’t worry, be happy, obviously a life motivator that keeps these two moving forward. I know? I’m making a lot of assumptions, but I’m just calling it as I see it, and I see no worries, just happy. What a great example these guys set.

Both talk of dreams and looking toward the future. A topic that has become the backbone of many of the people we have spoken to thus far. Sort of tells us something good about our current society, doesn’t it?

I’ve literally interviewed over one hundred people to date. There are great people all around, all wanting the same thing, to evolve with hope.

“Don’t worry, be happy” A challenge to follow your heart, to not look back, but to progress. Permission to, without pause, live life the way you want, to go forward without regret and to be content in your progress. No matter what happens.

Julius adds this to the mix, “And try not to stress.” Easier said than done, but duly noted. One this is certain though, you cannot be too scared to try.

“It’s never too late to do what you want,” Kerri kicks in. Another statement that has become staple to 365, and one that I never tire of hearing. There are so many of us who are buried in our dreams. Every time I commune with another who is still dredging forward with faith of dream, it reconfirms my convictions, and I hope yours. We’ve heard it stated from those in the darkest of places and those at the top of their game. Dream and aspire for what brings you joy. It’s not about a focus on greatness, but rather on self-honesty to go forth in what is important to you.

Of dreams for the future, again Julius and Kerri are unified.

“It’s not about what we inspire to be, It’s more about thinking of where we want to be at that point.” And what is that? I ask.

They answer, “That we can say, we did all that we dreamed to do, or at least tried. And we’re sure we will be content and satisfied with life if we can say that.”

Julius, Kerri, Thanks for the booster shot.

May all you dreams come true.

Readers, I’m getting some sleep tonight. Finished my entry at 11:34pm. Woo Hoo! early night.

The tribute to the future continue with Monica. I meet her this evening while enjoying a night out with my family.

Monica is one of those rare people that radiates happiness. Something I pick up on at first glance. So much so, I am even a little intimidated to interrupt her stride as she energetically walks past a shop window, just a few yards from where my wife, daughter and I are enjoying an after dinner outing.

But even though I’m hesitant to approach her, my daughter urges me to say hello. This project really is becoming a family endeavour. It’s strange I should feel these jitters. I mean, I’ve found myself in much more sketchy situations, all without even cracking a sweat. Why tonight?

It’s 12am, my meeting with Monica hours behind me, and I am still examining the question of why I had the jitters. One thing come to mind. There is something about Monica that makes me feel young, reflective as to my life experiences. Not saying that I am over-the-hill, but her vitality forces me to pause for a moment of self-reflection in asking myself a question, “Have I really traveled the right path.”

It is impossible not to do a personal inventory while being in the presence of Monica’s energy. Meeting her takes me back to my beginnings, and the though is a little overwhelming.

I’m happy to say that most of my energy of youth is still at core, it’s just a little weathered, but nowhere near extinguished. Actually it’s on a high and I am going through a rebirth of sorts. How else can I commit to the task of still keeping my assignment work vibrant while continuing the 365 journey.

So as I conduct my mental inventory this night the answer to my earlier question of, “Have I really traveled the right path,” is a resounding, “YES-ABSOLUTELY!”

I’ve spoken often of the wisdom of youth. Monica is yet another cornerstone for the future, bright, articulate and artistic.

A student of communications she has set her career course, speaking of art and youth culture. Aspects like music, fashion and lifestyle. She is a people person and is looking forward to a life in PR.

What is striking about Monica, is her relaxed confidence. There is purpose in her eyes as she speaks her words of counsel.

To the young people:
“Save your money. Invest it on classic things and your eduction. Stay away from the trendy, it will only take it away from you and leave you with nothing to show.”

To the older people (that’s me)
“It’s never too late.” (amen to that)

For all of us (I love this one)
“Mac not PC.”

Monica sees the bright of the world. She talks about the power of music festivals and the people who attend them. “I’ll never miss one again. It’s amazing hanging with so many different people, all having fun camping and enjoying music.” As she tells me this, I see her mind gears turning. It’s more than the music, it is a life beat. An awareness of people, culture and communication.

12:30am now, think I’m getting closure to my jitters in speaking with Monica, it is not nervousness, it is excitement, enthusiasm for what’s to come.

So a toast to all of us in raising our glasses high, it does not matter what our age, It’s never too late!”

Monica, thanks for the push and, yes, I’m a Mac person.

Oh! One last note: Monica thinks I need to take 365 to Croatia, Iceland and Japan. Right now I’m a little underfunded, but I’m open to anyone who wants to invite me over. 🙂

It’s Thursday morning and I’m prepping for the afternoon Thanksgiving meal to come. It’s the one meal of the year that is pure gluttony married to a feast with a purpose: “To be thankful for my blessings and the family that I have.” As dysfunctional as it can be at times, I still love them, and as usual, I prepare not only for a giant meal, but ready myself to experience every emotion smashed into a very short time. Every year we gather at one destination, my sister’s house in Laguna Hills. We come from all over to reunite, eat, sleep and to partake of the tradition of all traditions, The Black Friday Sales.

I’m not the shopper of the group; my role, catch up on sleep and to keep the couch soft and warm for afternoon movies. I’m good with that. My wife is the line keeper, the most patient of the bunch (and because is not interested in the sales) is drafted to hold spots in line as the rest of the group plan their strategy for the next bargain. It’s sort of leap-frog thing, very well orchestrated with the finesse of a highly planned military operation. You’ve got to see it to appreciate it.

This year I have one other laid back companion in by sleeping brigade, my Nephew Aaron.

Shopping countdown has begun, T-minus nine-hours and counting to the 12am commencement of “Operation Shop-Hop.” Over the aroma of foods almost ready for consumption, the troops begin to strategize, “The Disney Store is opening at 12am, are we going? Are we getting up at 5am or 6am!? The line is already forming at Best Buy, do we go there or not?”

Already lining up at Best Buy? Never have I lined up for days to hit a sale. I’m extremely interested. And enlisting the support of Nephew Aaron, I set out to investigate.

We drive to Best Buy and spy a line of chairs, tents and bundled people. All looking like hearty shoppers and numbering around fifty. Why hearty shoppers? It’s cold, looks like rain is coming and the store doors don’t even open for over 24 hours.

Up to the front of the line we quest and are completely rejected by chair one. Chair two nods us off, followed by the support of chairs three and four. Fifth in line takes it to a new level, “I can’t have my photo taken, I’m in the Government.” We appreciate the humor and move on. Didn’t feel right anyway.

Past the chaired shoppers and up to the first set of tents we travel. I’m now even more inquisitive in my desire to be allowed into this boutique culture. At tent one, we meet two well equipped young gents. Their post looks more like a mountaineers base camp than that of a waiting for a sale encampment.

I’m telling you, these guys have it down, multiple tents, lightweight chairs, sleeping bags, provisions, even power and television (got to have some luxury). I need to understand Black Friday and they look like they know exactly how things work. Perhaps they will enlighten us, I extend a hand of 365 fellowship.

By the way, there is one item I’ve already found out from the front of the line. The encampment started on Tuesday. The store opens on Friday. You do the math. I do a little in my head and come to this conclusion, “There is no way I’m sleeping on the curb, possibly in the rain, for three nights to get a $199 forty-two inch flat screen.”

What I quickly learn, from our camping friends, Twan and Chris, it’s not all about the sale, it’s about the experience and bonding with friends.

“We’ve been doing this for six years. It’s our chance to hang out and catch up.”

Twan and Chris are very gracious, offering Aaron and I chairs in inviting us to stay a while. We join camp and I realize the eyes, that were earlier upon us as strangers, have settled down. Thirty minutes into our exchange, even one of the first to reject us (I think chair three) strolls over to engage in the conversation, there is obviously something peaking his attention. Is it me, or is it Twan, or Chris? I can’t say. But whatever it is, we are now part of something.

Our discussion starts out as do most introductions. I speak of the origins of 365, my families interest in Black Friday and we exchange a few general questions; you know, the basic common graces in getting comfortable with each other stuff.

We chat for about thirty minutes and the topics lean towards the future and wisdom for the readers of 365.

Here is where my earlier questions is answered. “Is it me, or is it Twan or Chris? I can’t say. But whatever it is, we are now part of something.”

I think it is Chris.

Not two minutes before we are visited by chair three, Chris says this to me, “I am a Christian. Just thirty minutes before you guys showed up, I said a prayer asking for a chance to share what I believe.”

Our topic as we are visited by vicarious friend three: Faith and the Bible. Now I must state, I do have my beliefs, but do not proclaim them openly in 365. From the beginning I have continually reminded us that 365 is an open discussion of whatever my interviewees decide to share. My job is to draw no conclusions, and other than the occasional blurb for a small business, do not promote any spiritual, or political agendas.

Yet, as is our visitor from chair three, I am engaged in the topic. Chris quotes several poignant scriptural passages.

From Philippians, Chapter 4 / Verse 13:

“I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.”

From Matthew, Chapter 6 / Verses 25 to 33:

“25 Therefore I say unto you, Take no thought for your life, what ye shall eat, or what ye shall drink; nor yet for your body, what ye shall put on. Is not the life more than meat, and the body than raiment?

26 Behold the fowls of the air: for they sow not, neither do they reap, nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feedeth them. Are ye not much better than they?

27 Which of you by taking thought can add one cubit unto his stature?

28 And why take ye thought for raiment? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow; they toil not, neither do they spin:

29 And yet I say unto you, That even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these.

30 Wherefore, if God so clothe the grass of the field, which to day is, and to morrow is cast into the oven, shall he not much more clothe you, O ye of little faith?

31 Therefore take no thought, saying, What shall we eat? or, What shall we drink? or, Wherewithal shall we be clothed?

32 (For after all these things do the Gentiles seek:) for your heavenly Father knoweth that ye have need of all these things.

33 But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.

In the words of Twan (Who by the way, comes from a Buddhist background):

“No matter how many times you fall dawn, pick yourself up. Follow your dream and keep filling the well.”

Our vicarious listener of chair three leaves, Twan expresses his thanks for the discussion and Aaron and I travel back to the family shopping cayos.

“Follow your dream and keep filling the well.” Twan says, I think he is talking about having faith and letting go to a higher power.

All I can say is this, No matter Gentile or Jew, Muslim or Hindu, We are all in this life together and someone is listing in guiding us to a better path.

Funny how the holidays bring out the best in so many.

Per the line, I get it now. Sure, many are here for the deals, But the best of it, people are here to be with people. And the presence of Chris and Twan is inspired.

Great breaking bread with you my friends!

Now I’m off to eat!

“We’ve known each other for 28 – 29 years.” Says Ashley, owner of  Ashley’s Sizzorz Palace of her friend Sharon. Both women who first hand know the meaning of self-reliance and positive forward thinking.

There is no quick path to telling their stories. Two hours I spend visiting with them, even meet Ashley’s husband, Victor (not pictured). We talk of everything from the spiritual to the economy. Issues like unemployment, the battle between corporate mega giants and small business and the personal trials of life and parenting.

These two special ladies are intertwined by one common thread as quoted by Sharon, “Don’t look at the hard times as struggle, but as part of the journey. You’ll be better able to enjoy time.”

It would be unethical for me to fully expose the depths that are shared with me in regards to the history of these two spectacular women. Plus, it would take a novel like entry to fully give their stories the justice they deserve, but trust me, both Ashley and Sharon have earned the ranks to make Sharon’s above claim.

What I can share is what I witness during my visit, as well as a few of their philosophies.

Now, I can’t say that I am an expert on salon culture. I have been to a few in my time, everything from swanky Beverly Hills establishments to the most understated of Barber Shops. Yet there is a sweetness to Ashley’s place that I have not experienced, that is, until now. The only way to explain it, “It’s like sitting in a humble living room with friends.”

It is obvious that Ashley and Sharon have a wonderful relationship. However, my witness doesn’t stop with them. Other customers stream in, I presume preparing for the Thanksgiving holiday. Each one of them are well-known to Ashley, and t like them, I am becoming part of a family. Customers are in Ashley’s chair while I, sitting a the very simple reception area, converse with other salon friends who are waiting for their turn to be spoiled. “I’ve been coming here for 8 years now and will never go anywhere else.”  One customer tells me. I’m off base even calling her a customer, best to call her a friend.

Victor tells me of customers that continually come to Ashley from as far as Maine, Palm Springs and Oceanside. And after being part of the family for a short time, I see why.

I also find out Ashley is more than a stylist, she is an artist and a healer. Ashley is very humble, but does talk of her artwork, which is hanging on the walls all over the salon. “I did not study formally, I taught myself from looking at other paintings.” Some people just have gifts, and Ashley’s is the ability to see the good in all thing’s and find a way to communicate it, I see it in her art and her words.

But as to her ability to heal, that’s a different story. This fact comes to me in a more vicarious way; through the words of the people she has helped.

Sharon tells me of one example, a near crippling car accident she had, one that even though no bones were broken, great muscular and ligament damage resulted. Doctors told her she needed surgery and would most likely forever walk with a limp. Procedures and an outcome that ultimately she declined, saying “I didn’t need the surgeries, Ashley healed me and I credit her with the movement I now have.” She stands up and show me her stride, no limp, perfect.

I not proposing that Ashley is metaphysical, quite the opposite. What she prescribes is rather simple, positive mind-set, a dose of good old common sense and a bit of stretching mixed with massage.

Sharon goes on, “She has hands of steel and knows how to encourage me. I love her for that. She healed me” Other ladies tell me of Migraines no more, giving homage to Ashley’s scalp massage. Now how many hair stylists offer healing? Ashley is magical.

I probe a little and discover one current trial. After 20 years of corporate employment, Victor was laid off fifteen months ago. I’m troubled by this story. You see, Victor is a very intelligent man with a powerful work ethic. “I want to work. I apply for employment every week, even do volunteer work. No one is hiring.” His story hits me in my achilles heel of my opinion of corporate cut backs. I’ve heard many stories similar to this, even having my own similar experiences, and have begun a personal crusade. That crusade, “Frequent small and self-owned business as often as possible.”

Business’ like Ashley’s (now the sole bread-winner for the family), the mom and pop hardware shop, self-owned restaurants, garden supply, auto repair, tradesmen, there a too many small business’ to list. Find them and frequent them. Help them grow and perhaps, they in turn can provide employment opportunity, or at least be able to support themselves and their families. Thanks for allowing me to be a touch political for a minute. Being a small business myself, Ashley and Victor’s story hits home.

But what about Sharon? The quick answer; fashionista, stylist, and lady of many words. Her quotes are endless.

“Don’t be overwhelmed by big things. Take baby steps. If you are ten feet underground and want to go to the top of Mount Everest. Remember to take baby steps. Maybe you’ll only get half way there and be satisfied in how far you have come.”

“Little miracles happen every day. Take the time to notice them”

“We’ve heard this one all the time. When one door closes, another one opens. Just believe, and even with a lot of dead bolts, that door can be opened and fly you to the moon”

Ashley give’s us a few more gems:

“In life you should not let the words of others bother you, otherwise you get stressed. And that makes you old.”

“Be careful not to give you kids too much. Allow them to learn to stand on their own two feet. Otherwise they will be handicapped”
(She has the right to make this statement with two sons to her credit. Both successful. One a pharmacist the other just finishing college)

Per the future:

Ashley: Life just gets better and better. All I can say is whatever it is, it is going to be good.”

Sharon: I want to be much more spiritual, much more centered, much more traveled, and above all, much more at peace.

Ladies thanks for letting me hang out with you!

I’m always happy to support America’s small business owners. Let’s do our part in helping each other.

So readers, If your hair is getting long and your head aches are killing  you. I’m telling you where to go. Ashley’s Sizzors Palace, 22141 Sherman Way, Canoga Park, CA 91303, 818-703-9935. Tell her Richard sent you.