richard radstone

Christmas is growing closer for many, and with the holiday comes festivities, lights and reflection.

Enjoying the magic of glowing Christmas lights is a tradition our family looks forward to each year. Within days after Thanksgiving the questions begin, “Daddy, do you think the lights are up at Candy Cane Lane yet? Can we go there tonight?”  As November progresses into December we sometimes find ourselves taking alternate routes or driving around blocks for no reason other than to let our nine-year-old daughter enjoy the lights and decorations of the season.  Tonight is no exception.

Visiting grandma and grandpa for the holidays, we plan a night to visiting the Christmas light extravaganza at the Mormon Temple in Mesa, Arizona. Hundreds of thousands of Christmas lights decorate the expansive garden grounds and life-size nativity figures.  The night turns cold, and then starts to rain, but the inclement weather does not thwart the hundreds of visitors enjoying the evening and gathering for the outdoor Christmas concert that is about to being.

Mixed throughout the crowd are sprinkled missionaries from the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, each from a different part of the world, happily willing to answer questions and share their message when interest is shown. Most of these young men and women are in their 20s and have committed two years (at their own expense) to serve a mission.

Two of these young missionaries share time with me and I am impressed and warmed by their maturity and faith. Good kids with a sincere message. You can see the faith in their eyes when they ask all to “Come unto Christ.”

I’ve had the opportunity to meet many different people with varying spiritual points-of-view during my 365 voyage. Tonight I find my new missionary friends to be very warm, knowledgeable and committed to their mission. In their words, “To proclaim the gospel of Jesus Christ.”

Meet Elder Hernandez-Cornello and Elder Anaya.

Elder Hernandez-Cornello, (Mexico), a young man who has dedicated his life to service, starts our dialogue with an ingratiating voice of maturity: “I’ve seen in my life many people living happy and healthy lives, all because they believe in Heavenly Father, Jesus Christ and listen to the Prophets.”

“We can learn of them by praying, reading the scriptures (The Bible and The Book of Mormon) and in doing so will learn of God’s Plan of Happiness.”

Elder Anaya (Texas) has only been in the “mission field” a few weeks and is in Mesa while waiting to leave for the remainder of his time in Argentina.  His greatest advice? “I am going to be spending the next two years sharing this message, ‘Come unto the Gospel…’ this is something I wish for everybody to have. It’s the best way to find happiness in life.”

I ask him, “What if someone is happy where they are and do not want to be baptized into the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints?”

His answer: “That’s OK.  My advice to them: Be the best person you can be… and let it rub-off on other people… even one kind act can make a big difference in improving the world and making it a better place. Things like, saying “hello” to each other; opening doors for each other… I’m talking about the small, little things that can make a difference every day in someone’s life.”

I am heartfelt by the stillness of their message, the pureness of their intent and the obvious love they have for the world around them.

And about the world around them, they are not just talking of the people; they are also talking of the planet.  To quote two perspectives from Elder Cornello:
For the planet… “We all need to do our part for the environment and taking care of our natural resources.”

And for the people: “There are many great miracles still to come for all of us.”

May we all find the miracles we are seeking.

Until tomorrow…

Half way to Arizona, our annual family holiday visit with my wife’s side of the family. The journey has been relatively stress free, thanks to a departure time of 4am, compliments of my wife’s smart planning.

At first, the groggy-eyed hour of 4am was not that appealing to me. But now, still being early morning, and over 50% traveled to our destination. I will never again complain to an early drive call.

The whole family is in the vehicle, dogs and all. And if any of you have traveled with young children and pets, you know the routine. Stop every ninety miles, or thereabouts, for pee, food, stretching, and an event I have fatherly titled, “the running of the kids.” Got to have a sanity building discharge of some energy on the long treks.

Having to do the necessary business of healing from our in route behind the wheel Subway sandwiches, we pull into rest stop two.  It’s a typical break, cold toilet seat, cramped car seat back stretch, and the token correction from the maintenance man of the stop (got to thank my Scotty, Rocky, for marking the “no dogs in this area” sign).

The horizon is barren; we’re definitely in the high desert. It’s not overly trafficked, but the passer byes are eclectic. It’s kind of like being in an infinitely large elevator, very close to a group of unknown people, all strangers in singular paths to personal destinations.

Even though we are in an incredibly open space with no apparent walls, other than the sanctuary of the rest room stalls, all around me are people in their own private spaces.

I know at this instant, I must reach out with 365. I’m immediately hit with a weird vibe; feels like the eyes of everyone are upon me. Maybe it’s a sleep deprived paranoia, perhaps it’s the camera backpack I sport, or who knows? Possibly I look like a predator of some sort, but whatever the case, I’m feeling out of place.

Wherever I wander, it’s as if I am Moses parting the red see, and the water, an ocean of people. I walk forward and they part away from me, they are obviously distancing themselves from whatever I have to share.

So with the parable of Moses in mind, I take a breath, and regardless of how difficult, accept that there may be a reason for my being here. “Could this parting of people actually be a road of human walls directing me to my new friend?”

I submit; letting go of any predetermined targets, I set route back to our chariot, OK, Dodge Durango. Hey if I’m using Moses symbolically, indulge me in giving me literary license to theme my mode of transportation.

All right, I think I’ve made my theatrical point in setting the stage.

Have you ever lost your keys, only to realize that they are right in front of your eyes? Or my personal favorite, one hour spent looking for my glasses, only to realize that I am wearing them.

I’ve been looking the wrong way the whole time I’ve been here. I’ve spoken of the voice that directs me in 365. It kicks in as I decide to give myself permission to let go and accept this self motivation, “If I am not supposed to meet someone here, that’s what is meant to be, I acknowledge that I will find the right person, with the right message, at the right time.”

Enter, car slip left, Pat and Bruce. They are literally parked three slips away from our rented Dodge.

I first approach Pat, tell her of 365 and the purpose of its existence. I share with her the first question that is challenged to all who join, “What words of wisdom, or council, do you have for the world?”

Her eyes open, “Let me ask Bruce?” She goes to her van, “Bruce, remember what we were just talking about? ‘Words for the world,’ check out what this guy is doing, we should do it.”

Here we go again, 365 is directing me to where I need to travel.

Pat and Bruce are a dedicated couple, both with a shared vision, “Take care of ourselves, so we can give to others.”

“Life is not for stress, it is for community and doing good for the world.”

And it seems that everyone that is making these types of statements are doing the work to back it up. Pat and Bruce are no exception to this rule.

In 2008, they decided to cash out of their life in Texas, “We were lucky, sold our house when real estate was at a high.” Makes sense, Bruce is retired CPA who offers this great council. “We live below our means and are not caught up in materialistic things.”

From there, they bought a van conversion, traveled from Alaska to Guatemala and ultimately settled in Tucson. “We explored for eighteen month, met a lot of great people, and now are settled in our magical house on the hill. It is a paradise, and our life is filled with love.”

Bruce is a giver, I am convinced of this in the way he explains his relationship with Pat and the love he has for her.

He emailed this to me just moments ago.
“I can tell you that Pat is a wonderful person and humanitarian. She gives of herself to the underserved without reservation or compensation. She volunteers at two clinics in Tucson, St Elizabeth’s and Clinica Amistad.  Her work with Sergio (I’ll get to him in a second) is amazing.

Me, I’m a retired CPA who then became a stock trader for the last twenty years.  I can tell you this; I am the luckiest man alive to lead exactly the life I want with the best companion.  Pat and I have been together for twenty-three years and have never married…Don’t fix what ain’t broke as we say in Texas.”

What of Pat’s humanitarian service, and possibly part of the reason for our meeting this day? I checked out Pat’s history and her work with Sergio.

Pat, a seasoned medical professional, Dermatologist turning MD, has dedicated her life to giving service to underprivileged communities. Not only does she travel to Mexico twice a year to help raise money for Sergio’s medical mission and education outreach, she works all year long to help with getting the message out for the good that he does.

I wish I had the word count to give you the full rundown of Sergio and his cause, but in respect to you in keeping my blog roll manageable, I am provision you his link: www.yokchij.org

“We are living the dream,” Pat tells me.

They leave us with a few ideas to chew on.

From Pat:
“I’ve never fully read the Bible, but I live by this standard.” She quotes from the book of Luke”

“Luke 6: 37 – Judge not, and ye shall not be judged: condemn not, and ye shall not be condemned: forgive, and ye shall be forgiven:”

Bruce seconds her thought:
I’m paraphrasing his suggestion, “Life is about community, not about political bickering or class separation.”

And their combined message:
“Take care of yourself, work on mastering where you are, let go of obsessing on where you are supposed to be in life, and above all, give back. You will be happy.”

In closing, Bruce nails it with this thought, “I’m not sure where we’ll be next, but sometimes it’s nice to not know what’s coming.”

Pat, Bruce, “A pleasure traveling with you!

I’m sitting at enterprise rent a car. Drew is the man at the counter who moments ago greeted me. Lately this place has been a regular destination, having rented a variety of vehicles for my assignment shoots over the past several months. And every time I come in, I pitch for 365 friends.

So it would be an understatement to say, most of the rental agents don’t just know me, they see me coming. And even though they are a little interested to contribute, are usually too busy with customers to be interviewed.

No difference this evening, the dealership is packed with holiday madness, its crazy times at Enterprise.

The bulk of the customers are patient, with a few rearing up their attitudes in a futile attempt to be noticed. I have titled them, the frowners.

A bad behavior that cracks me up. Like sporting a frown will magically make the line disappear, or perhaps educe a cosmic time warp that will translate them to an hour before the costumer that rightly precedes them. My though, “Mellow out, there is no rush, stand patient and you will get your car.”

The scene turns surreal when a frantic Enterprise test pilot, blasts into the office, and running behind the counter, loudly exclaims, “We just got hit from behind, all we did was slow for a pedestrian and wham! We got hit from behind.”

Drew, my Enterprise friend asks, “Is anyone with the car?” In my opinion, an obvious and expected question. “Yes! My husband, what do you think!” Some people need to take a chill pill. Drew is doing his best to be helpful. He smiles it off.

She then shrills, exasperated, “what do I do?” With the calm on a decorated infantryman under siege, he suggests, “Get all their information, and if they are not willing to give it to you, call the police.”

“Do you have some paper and pencil?” she squills, Drew is unshaken, and even though he is helping multiple customers, he looses no stride in being of service to her and all.

The last glancing blow to his armor of professionalism. Remember the lady wanting the time warp to the front of the line; she speaks up, “Why don’t you tell her what information to get! Insurance! Phone Number! License Plate!”

Now I’m a little riled up and am tempted to share my point of view with Mrs. Helpful. I’m telling you, Christmas spirit really misses some people.

But I’m going to check myself here. 365 is teaching me tolerance, patience and acceptance of my fellow man. And surely, Drew is a master of customer service and self-control.

I lean on his example and holster my verbal assault, and yes, I do feel better for doing so. “Drew thanks for the coaching.”

There is a reason I like this Enterprise location, it’s filled with the most courteous staff I have ever encountered, and I’ve traveled a lot.

I’m sitting here by my choice, waiting to interview Drew, who has cordially volunteered to share a thought or two for you guys.

The place is still buzzing, one customer asks, “can I have a ride home.” Another is questioning insurance coverage; “Can you give me a better price?” is inquired by another.

Me? I’m still chill, hanging in the lobby and writing this entry. No worries, no rush, really having quite an enjoyable people watching time.

One detail to note: Drew is not the only one working the counter tonight.

Julia, another Enterprise superstar, leans over the counter, “Can I get your car for you?” She is not pressing me at all and I fully understand her intent, “Quality Service.” like I said, “The best rental establishment in the city.”

I got here at 5:30sh, 6:15 now and the room is almost empty, all rented cars have embarked and the last of the, “I need a ride home,” costumers are being charioted to their lives by Julia. The departing is like a high school road trip of friends. One customer jokes, “I’ve got shotgun! and off they go.

Good thing Mrs. Helpful has already set sail. “Opps, forgive me for the jab, I’m only human.”

Drew is finally clear of his crowd, has given me my paperwork and I’m stepping to the parking area to dent walk my Durango, got it for the price of a mini van. I said, “I’m not perfect, got to go for the deal of the day.”

Dent inspection approved, all clear and with the last customer leaving for the road, Drew, Julia and I find time for photos and questions.

Julia goes first, and in her own writing shares this:
“My advice to people or words of wisdom to people is to understand that everything happens for a reason. My dream when I was sixteen was to move to NYC and go to college there. I didn’t have the opportunity, but thank God (or whoever/whatever) because I ended up meeting my best friend, Holly. If I had gone anywhere else I never would have met my soul mate. In the next 5, 10, 15 years I hope that people can start to look outside themselves and start to really embrace the idea of community. I hope I’m still best friends with Holly, happily married, with children – laughing and enjoying life.”

As Julia is writing, Drew is joking with her and the manager working in the background, and I realize why the moral is so high at this Enterprise location. Sure, customer first, but with all but one customer departed, I have the opportunity to observe the rapport of the store team, and it is inspiring.

These guys really like each other, their job and working with people. It shows, for one thing, in the comfort they share in posing for the pictures, both a ton of fun to photograph. But their comradery goes deeper than that. They truly care about the community.

Julia talks of community and of enjoying life. Drew in his own way mirrors her attitudes on life.

“What I’ve learned is life is not all about me! me! me! We all need to realize that there are other people out there; we need to be patient with each other, many in the same position as ourselves, or having greater difficulties. Good people who are just trying to make ends meet financially and in taking care of their families.”

Drew sums it up when he tells me, “I just try to live by the golden rule, do unto others as you would have them do unto you.”

I question him on this perspective, “So if someone treats you bad, does that give you permission to treat the world poorly?”

“Absolutely not,” he says, “You treat others the way you would like to be treated.”

That said, Drew, with the full support of Julia, leaves us this:
“The future, I’d like to see a day where people are simply getting along, not judging each other by race, age, ethnicity, religion, wealth or political view. Just accepting each other for who they are and being able to to either agree or disagree with kindness.”

This premise has proven to me this evening as I have broken bread in seeing how both Drew and Julia have dealt with a room full of personalities.

One last observance, remember the frightened and impatient accident victim at the beginning of this story. Well, she and her husband have been present as the last customers of the day all the while Drew, Julia and I have been talking. Sort of a strange timing, having completed their dealing with the manager and closing their business as I close the interview with my new friends.

In a vicarious way their concluding words of transaction endorse the positive perspective all at this establishment obviously embrace. Words that one would not normally expect to hear in a place of business… “God Bless You.”

Drew, Julia and my manager friend, thank you for getting me in the right frame of mind for tomorrows Arizona bound drive, tolerant, patient and calm.

Happy holidays my friends.

PS: Julia, just kidding about the scratch on my car.

“Treat every day as if it is the last day you will see. Life is so fragile; you never know what could happen in a second. There are so many unforeseen pitfalls. Everything could be fantastic and could change instantly.”

The first words Richard, my new friend, shares with me this day.

In a way, he is a noticed stranger, a man I have seen many times walking his dog through a nearby neighborhood I often travel. I’ve caught eye contact with him on occasion, but never have taken the time to introduce myself. My life is different now, and I have pledged to never pass on saying a polite hello to anyone who connects with me eye to eye. Today is such a day.

It’s almost dusk and I’m driving on Richard street. No rush to be anywhere, no stress in my mind, and doing my best to live life as prescribed to me by many of my 365 friends over the last one hundred days.

One hundred days… I need to pause on that…

365 has been an amazing journey, and it’s hard to believe that I’m apexing towards the half way point. One hundred days… I guess that makes us a centennial community, a mark that I could never have accomplished without the openness, and bravery, of all of whom I am proud to call my friends.

With this said, let’s all take a moment to celebrate. No, not with fan fair, cancel the open bar and let Joe the neighbor take five in brining his cover band to the party. Our celebration is going to be a little different. How about we call it a tribute?

That tribute; a simple breath, a moment of calmness, a self-permission to drop the stress in looking at the world around us with welcoming eyes. Can you think of a better way to end 2011 and step into a new year, I can’t?

And in reviewing Richard’s concept of treating every day as if it is the last day we will see, and in talking with him further about the meaning of his council, I can honestly say, “His perspective is a supportive request for peace of mind and of respect for the lives of others.

In one seemingly fatalistic statement, he supports the positive observations and council of so many other 365 members.

Oh, that’s a stretch Mr. Radstone; you are a word bender. No, not really. My friend Richard delivers the goods to support his positive outlook.

First, he has a killer flu; I’m even surprised he allows me to photograph him. As we are talking, I can see that he is so congested that he cannot breath through his nose. I’m sure you have been there, and to have meaningful conversation when ill can be quite a challenge. I’m glad he finds the focus to interview, for Richard expresses words we need to hear.

You see, Richard’s life has been an homage to serving society. A high school teacher, he has dedicated the last twenty-six years to educating special need students. This is something that he does not aggressively flaunt; I even have to lure it out of him. But once we start the discussion, I am allowed into the life of a very kind and patient man. One whose only wish is this, “Leave the planet in good shape for the next generation.”

On that topic, we do briefly talk of environmental, economic and political issues, but these are not exactly what Richard is referring to. What he is addressing is a call to society, “Treat each other kindly. No matter what our condition, we all have something to offer. Learn to not only love yourself, but be accepting of others, again, no matter what their condition.”

Richard has the humble chops to make this claim. Think about it, twenty-six years working with special need teens and their families. That takes a special person.

“Whether mentally or physically disabled, people are people, and we need to look at each other as such.”

“I see lot’s of love coming from my students, as well as parents that are so dedicated to their children. Having a special need child is a blessing, but it difficult and a life long commitment.”

Of this blessing, “These kid have a lot to offer: talents, aspirations and personalities.” I can feel the compassion of Richard’s commitment to his community as he shares this with me.

Even his perspective of the school where he has been teaching for his entire career, and incidentally, the alma mater of my wife, reflects his commitment in seeing good.

“I’ve been a school teacher at Canoga High since 1985. It’s a great campus with great programs. We have lots of advanced classes and it is a nice place to work. I don’t understand why so many families are sending their kids to other schools.”

Does he care, I think so, “It touches me when I see the joy of parents who see progress in their children or when one of my students is successful in their development.” He says.

Twenty-six years dedicated to one agenda, to be a good teacher.

So in tribute to 365 and to Richard, let’s all join this day in one mission, that call, “Keep our chins up, look at people as people and say one simple word, Hello, how are you!”

Richards wish for the future:
“’I’d like to know that the day shall come when people will look back and say, ‘we left the world a better place.’”

Richard, Keep on teaching, and feel better, I know the flu is a bummer.

I’m sure you are getting used to my travel journals by now. Some days you hear a lot about my day, others are right to the point. Today, I think we’ll land somewhere in the middle.

Lately, my daughter has been accusing me of being too busy for her, a typical request from an extremely creative nine-year old. But looking at the 365 journals, and seeing how much time I have spent with her on this project alone, I’m pretty convinced that her jab is un-warranted. Especially on this cold rainy evening, as we find ourselves: My wife, daughter and I, at her piano recital.

However, the musical feast was almost not to be. How many of you, even with the best of planning, forget the most important, and at the same time most distant, of traveling tasks? No not the map, ex-nay on the snacks promised to accompany the ride, car is clean? We checked the guest list, and scary Aunt Milly is not going to be there. What then?

The invisibly obvious…Gas!

Crud, fifteen minutes to get there, fuel gauge needle buried into the red. Why do we always say the following statement to ourselves, “No worries… We’ll fill up on the way,” probably one of the top ten dumbest statements of any busy family or person. Yea! Right! No worries!

Two choices now, stop and miss the recital, and receive the consequences of a room full of waiting faces, and we arrive past schedule

No Way! My daughter’s music teacher has a standing rule; we don’t start until everyone performing has arrived. But let me translate what this really means, “Those who are late will never be forgotten for holding up the show,” not really the badge of honor I want to wear tonight.

Or, behind the box of what the heck, choice two, GO FOR IT! DRIVE ON FUMES.

I go with, what the heck box, we’ll do it right, if we are going to be late, we’ll be really, really late from running run out of propellant. Maybe that way, in worst-case scenario we’ll at least have a story.

Luckily for us, we roll in on fumes, and walk into the recital looking as if all is well in Radstone land.

The performance is cute, 45 minutes piano virtuosos followed by four napkins of catered egg rolls, but the reality is slowly setting in. We’ll be traveling home soon, and the horror of the possibility of running out of gas in heavy rain is becoming brutally apparent.

We luck out, the fuel angels play in our favor, and we chug into a Chevron literally as the car gasps it’s last breaths of fumed motivation. I look at my daughter, “Told you we’d get some quality family time.”

I’ve still not gotten a 365 interview at this point, so I figure, “Hey, an opportunity for more family time.” Gonna drive this jab home tonight. “Let’s see if we can find someone who wants to be in 365.” She is in faster than I am, and before I can shoulder my camera bag, she is in the rain looking for friends. I love this kid.

Into the store we go, asking everyone we see. All decline for one reason or another. Watching this set of exchanges is the proprietor, Umesh. I’m thinking he is going to throw us out for bothering people. Turns out completely the opposite of how things play out. Bottom line, Umesh stands forward in being today’s 365 contributor.

He teaches me a thing or two about kindness to others. First off, the station is crazy busy. There is hardly a second when no one is at the counter where he is working. But even with this pace of customers, he is open to questions and thoughtful in his responses.

The other thing about Umesh that impresses me is his attentativeness to his customers. Everyone receives a smile and a sincere “Have a good evening.” He tells me, “Too many people are too stressed and need to slow down.” We’ve heard that one before, haven’t we?

Umesh has a dialect, but his English is regal. The sort of voice you hear from diplomats and royalty.

I find out that he is a recent immigrant from Sri Lanka. “I came here two and a half years ago, and I prepared for three years to make to move.”

Here is something I did not know. In order to get a student visa, you have to show one hundred thousand dollars of cash assets. Being an alien myself, parents migrated from the UK in the early sixties, I have a great respect for those who go through the legal channels, working and saving to come to America.

Umesh talk of America with pride. He says, “Everything is possible here.”

“And with faith in God, I’m positive all will work out.” Umesh blends this perspective into the council he shares with us, “No matter what happens, just believe, in the end you will be in a good place.”

A lot of people talking of God over the last few weeks, could it be the season, or are we starting to get an idea of what is core to many? One hundred days down now. I’m sure time will reveal the answer to us.

“In Sri Lanka I was an Investment Advisor, and I am now going to college studying marketing and business. One day I want to own a station like this one.”

“I really like my job, I meet all kinds of people and enjoy talking to them all.” In this claim, Umesh proves to me of his intent, to be a positive contributor to the country that is offering him a new life of opportunity.

It is clear that he feels privileged to be in the United States, and has charted a respectful course.

His example can be taken by us all, and in his words of encouragement, I am in agreement. Those words, “Hard Work Pays Off!”

Umesh, Keep your shoulder to the wheel, my friend.

For me, my evening path is one-dimensional. As my mother always says when I am driving, “Home James (a British reference to a cab driver).

No worries Mom, I have a full tank of gas.

Out on a Saturday road trip with my daughter, destination, Santa Barbara, land of healthy living and volleyball.

It’s a lovely drive and we drop off highway 101 just as sunset hits. My daughter has a plan… a sand crab hunt. Chasing the sun, we race down Cabrillo Boulevard and settle at the free parking by the volleyball courts.

She grabs her beach stuff and looks at me, “Dad… your camera bag.” Wow, at nine she has learned at an early age to push me with the fortitude of a seasoned producer.

She is right, 365 never takes a break, and even thought we are on family time, she makes this acutely aware to me, “It’s day ninety-nine, you’re almost at one hundred days Dad. Keep going!”

I accept and strap on my forty pounds of backpack for a soft sand workout. By the way, my shoulders, back and neck are starting to get buff. Who knows? Maybe I’m unintentionally developing the upper body exercise fad of the future: “Sand Backpacking?”

On the horizon are several groups of Volleyball games in various stages of play. We see one group that is wrapping up as the cold evening air begins to take its bite (as much as it can in sunny California).

We approach the group, and although they seem interested at first, when the question arises, “Can I photograph you?” they decline.

The beach is mostly empty, but there is one figure further down the coast, a man fishing, boat at side. Maybe he will be interested. If not, no worries. After all, it’s family time. So if he is out, I’ll find someone later.

The sun is touching the mountains now, and as we get closer to our unknown fisherman, he begins to push his boat into the water as he packs up for the day. Oh well, like I said, “I’ll find someone later.”

Here’s one more finding I’m accepting about 365. It really is directing me, and the more I submit to it, the more is drawn to me. And today proves this point.

The moment I acknowledge, not defeat, but acceptance in finding no new friend, a voice strikes me from behind, “Hey, we just finished or game, I have a few minutes before we leave, do you still want to interview me. The others don’t want to, but the project sounds very interesting and I’d like to contribute.”

Stepping up is the wonderfully energetic and fit Bronwyn. At first words, I really like this lady. There is a magic radiating from her and at first question I know why.

It’s cold!! And I want to be courteous to shivering Bronwyn, so without hesitation I go right to interview.

“What words of wisdom do you have for my readers?”

Even though it is tooth chattering cold, Bronwyn delivers a huge smile, “That’s easy… spend time outside!”

Bronwyn’s is magical. And here is my perception to the key of her magic; – she possesses a love for nature and the world around her. With this, it makes sense as to why she is so radiant; Bronwyn is in her element… the outdoors.

Healthy is an understatement in describing Bronwyn. I’m sure many of you have run on the beach. For those of you who have not, know that 100 yards can be a breath taker. In talking to Bronwyn, she is not at the least breathless, even after sprinting 200 yards to catch up with us.

It gets better. She tells me of her career, “Tomorrow I start a new job, so I’m getting in all the outdoor time I can find before I go to the office.” What of this career? How do you cage a graceful bird to a cubical existence?

The answer can be summed up in two words… passion and commitment. Bronwyn’s profession? Environmental Economist. The title is over my head, so we talk about it.

Many of our 365 friends have spoken of a better future for our children. A wonderful sentiment. One that challenges my every action, pushing me to reflect on the impact and consequences of the decisions I make.

“I’m tired of the little gestures.” Bronwyn states.

“If we are going to change, we have to do more, get involved, and educate ourselves. It is amazing how little knowledge our current people know about the environmental impact of industry and population.”

Bronwyn is not bagging on us, she even says, “I’ve been studying this stuff for years and I haven’t even touched the surface of it.”

What she is saying is this. In my words, “’Sure, it is a good thing to recycle our plastics. The positive impact of that alone is great. Yes, I realize we are all busy and can’t find time to know it all. Bronwyn even accepts this in stating, ‘I have been studying the environment for years, and there is no way I can know it all.’”

Here is what I propose, “We need to push a little harder in doing our part.”

Perhaps it’s in the form of an educated vote. Maybe it is a letter to a politician or corporate executive in lobbying for better reforms or initiatives. Or simply, an hour or two a week in Google or other search engines, education ourselves on things we can do in every day life to help the environment. Whatever it is, I suggest we lean it towards Bronwyn’s wishes for the future.

Those wishes, “I’d love to see a day when we are doing more good for the planet than harm.”

Bronwyn, I hear you about the little gestures, I’ll work to do better in understanding what I can do, and again ask you, my readers, to join me in this cause.

Bronwyn, today you have reached out to me in sharing what to you may seem a little gesture in joining 365. My hope is your message touches enough of us to become one large gesture for us all to chomp on. TREAT THE PLANET RIGHT.

365 has posed this question, what is a stranger?

In the beginning of my journey, I was resolute that a stranger is a person who is completely isolated from my circle of influence. And although this is still a major part of my quest in meeting my friends, I have come to realize that there are so many more strangers around me, ones that this rule is overlooking.

I’m a compulsive kind of guy. That compulsion has been both an asset and a barrier to me. Why do I share this character trait with you?

For the first sixty days of 365, as a said above, I worked by the steadfast rule, “A stranger is a person who it completely isolated from my circle of influence.”

At 98 days, I now know that my stranger rule is flawed. There are so many more levels of strangers that I have rudely ignored, one’s that at many times are closest to us. For that reason I have defined several more levels of strangers.

There are strangers amongst us:

Take for example the story of Nikki (For The Love Of Dogs), our dog groomer. I’ve known her by name for over twelve years, yet until recently, when she became a 365 friend, I had no idea of who she was. Now we are truly friends.

Our personal networks are filled with strangers:
It’s easy to overlook these strangers by association, often failing to open our eyes in allowing ourselves to reach out to them. I think of the referral that my daughter’s art teacher shared when she introducing me to the fire dancers of  “Welcome To Our Neighborhood,” Or Is That? “There’s A Fire In My Pocket!” An experience that I can truly say broadened my understanding of the commitment of real friendship and the importance of community.

And now to my newest discovery, “Strangers in the shadows.”

You may have noticed in my last few entries I have been mentioning a location photo shoot that I am in. Specifically, I am in San Diego, and this is the last day of a three-day lifestyle campaign for a local utility company.

For the last two days of the shoot we have been at the residence of one of the companies marketing employees, who has graciously allowed our production, over thirty people, to descend upon her home and family. That in itself is a gesture worthy of the greatest applause.

We are a very respectful production, but even with every bit of professionalism and respect for the home, I do realize that we are a great disruption to life of a very sweet family of three: Mom, dad and young son.

For two long days we have been here, sunrise to sunset, not one complaint. We’ve moved tables, chairs, and taken over the entire lower floor, and, basically, the home is ours.

And even when the father of the house has to redo an entire document, due to an unfortunate a breaker trips, he never breaks a sweat.

During the whole production, I am aware of his presence, even have a few moments of small talk, but other than that, he is a new person in my life.

Our shoot wraps, and as we clear his home, I notice him standing in the shadows, just under a house light illuminating the side of his garage. Could he be my friend of the day?

I remember briefly telling him about 365 yesterday. He accepted my card with an interested, “I’ll check it out.” But that was it and I left it at that.

Tonight though, I feel a strong prompting to invite him to the project. I refuse my inspiration for a moment.

“I’m cheating,” I tell myself again. Even Tonya, my camera tech and good friend, digs me, “You’re cheating!”

But I think about it for a moment. “Does it really matter how we meet each other?” I ask myself.

“Who makes the rules of association anyway,  and who tells us who, or where, or why we should reach out to each other?

Sure Brian (I do approach him, and he does accept to be in 365) has shared world space with me for two days, but that is no reason to discount an opportunity to share a bit of who I am, and opening up to find out about him. Does it?

How many times have any of us, for one reason or another, chosen to withdraw within ourselves in the sight of possible friendships? Think about that for a moment, and consider it a challenge to extend a hand of introduction the next time you feel inspired to do so.

If there is one thing I have learned thus far in 365 is that every time I converse with any of the people I am meeting, not only my understanding, tolerance, and knowledge of my fellow humans evolves, but my own personal esteem along with my appreciation for the world around me grows incrementally.

Richard… Thanks for the Zen Master stuff, but what about Brian.

Well, in a way, I have already been talking of Brian. We’ve taken over his house for forty-eight plus hours, all of which he has been gracious and accommodating. At one point we even drove him out of his office, unintentionally relocation him to the garage to complete his business calls in the peace of silent.

That is itself is a testament to his patience and self control.

As speak with Brian while the production finishes its final wrap out. He shares with me a few aspects of himself that testify to the reasons behind his ability to allow us into his home.

For one thing, Brian is man of balance and respect for others. “My parents taught me early in life the importance of respect for man and the importance of family values.”

The respect for man part, I completely see, it’s obvious in the way he has treated my team and the depth he has allowed us into his home.

What is of even greater impact to me are the words he speaks of when addressing the future. “I have no control over the world, although, what I can control is how I live in it, and how I teach my son. Which is the way my parents taught me.”

The whole picture clicks in, Brian is teaching us all by example, and more importantly, teaching his son (who, by the way, is present for much of the shoot).

Yes, we are an extreme distraction; yes, we are noisy; yes, we are moving stuff.

“I want my son to grow up respectful and with good values,” Brian says.

Brian, keeping your cool is a lesson in itself, one that I am certain your son is taking in and will model in his life.

We speak of other great values: Family First, Loyalty, The Importance of Earning Trust through Honesty and the Selflessness of Helping Others.

Brian speaks of his business (which by the way has been written up in Forbes) with great humility. Yet, when we hit that topic he redirects our conversation back to family. It is obvious that this is a man who, even though he states, “I have no control over the world,” knows exactly where he is going. And at the top of his priorities, the answer is clear: His family.

Brian, my wife has been asking me to interview more Mothers, but today, I am pleased to say, “It is a pleasure to meet a good father.”

Brian, Thank you, and your family, for having us in you home. Your example has made my world a better place.

Happy Holidays, my friend!

We finish day two of our photo shoot today. All goes well, and at wrap, two of my crew friends (for the second day, Tyler, along with the lovely Tonya) do what any respecting photographic artists would do at the end of a successful day… buy shoes.

Well, at least that’s Tonya’s plan, and being the supportive lads that Tyler and I are, we are happy to join her in a shopping tour. Plus there is a bonus; Bloomingdales has comfortable chairs for shoe shoppers. Been on our feet all day, and a term of duty in a mushy chair is looking pretty promising.

I need to tell you a little more about my work history, I was once a young Al Bundy, and yes, I’m proud of it, got me through photo school. For those of you who don’t know All Bundy, he was the subject of a sitcom that aired from 1987 to 1997: Married with Children.

In the show, dear old Al was a rather uncouth gentleman, but the premise of the comparison is funny non-the-less. I use it in gest, knowing one thing; I was a charming shoe salesman, the anti-character of our satirical Al Bundy.

So when our shoe salesman hits me with this question, “What camera do you shoot with?” I am set back. How in sam heck does he know I am a shooter? The answer, obvious, forty pounds of photo backpack on my shoulder.

Who is our man of the moment? Emerging artist, and the future of photography: Storyteller, Bradley. “I’m going to Brooks Institute (my alma mater), and am selling women’s shoes to save some money for it.”

Oh yeah! I forgot to tell you, “I sold women’s shoes through my time at Brooks.”

Bradley tells me of his past internships and of his business plans. The guy is sharp and sober in his thoughts. He speaks of his enthusiasm for photography and of looking forward to the three years of training he is about to embark on.

It does not take me more than one explanation of 365 to get his acceptance to be today’s friend. So much so, that I have invited him to work with us on our photo shoot tomorrow. If I find time, I’ll get back to you a let you know how it goes.

We walk the shoe department for a couple minutes, and for our photos, settle in an isle between a couple of sale shoe racks. Boy, do I remember this rack. Always led to a double sale in my shoe days.

The interview turns out to be no picnic. The eyes of management, and hoards of holiday shoppers are upon us, leaving us only a few minutes to shoot and talk. Bradley is stoic, staying focused and able to well manage both his photo opportunity and the several customers that he is serving.

No one really complains as we shoot, yet when Bradley and I park momentarily at a counter for an interview, we are subtly corrected via a single comment of Bradley’s manager as she walks into the stockroom. Her comment, a rather low toned, “Bradley.”

I get the message loud and clear, “Bradley, back to your sales.”  Interview is over.

Here is what Bradley quotes:

Words of Wisdom: “You absolutely have to keep an open mind, and regardless of their culture, be respectful to people in general.”

About the Future: “My hobby is Philosophy and Theology. So, in ten years I’d like to not only be somewhat established as a photographer, but more importantly, be recognized for work that brings awareness to issues in our society that causes people to stop and think for a moment, and that my imagery will help promote change for the bettering of our society.”

Photography truly is a powerful medium, isn’t it?

With the many through lines that are developing within my 365 journey, one that continues this week is the premise of the law of attraction.

As Allen stated a few days ago, “I felt no fear as we hit the bunker.” Tonight’s entry builds on this thesis by continuing Allen’s introduction to the concept of “fear not.

It is late, the day has been full, and with two hotel stay days still left of the location assignment I am on, I find myself isolated in a very empty hotel lobby.

One of my crew friends, Tyler, runs into me and we decide to hit the lounge to see if we can meet a 365 friend.

Sitting at the bar, enjoying a quite dinner is Rebecca. Absorbed in conversation with the bar tender. I vicariously listen in the their topics, and although they are talking of mostly trivia, I am intrigued and reach out to her.

At first our dialogue is distant and forced. “Your project sounds interesting, but let me finish eating my dinner and I might be interested to be in it.” Rebecca comments.

Tyler and I continue our conversation and with the clock ticking away, I cross my fingers, hoping that Rebecca will allow me to interview her.

Not wanting to be an intrusion, we sit for some time, and when Rebecca requests her closing bill, I muster the courage to bother her once again.

At first she is reluctant, but as we converse the apprehension dissipates as we begin to talk of the negatives of the corporate world. Turns out that Rebecca is a very brave lady who has taken the leap of faith in leaving its comfort to follow her dream.

I have met some very powerful and amazing women over the last ninety-six days. So, it is no exception to that rule when, as Rebecca and I chat, I realize her wisdom is a direct pick up to so many of the threads established within 365.

As many have shared, she councils us to believe in our dreams and to follow them.

But, Rebecca takes it to a new level in issuing an unintentional challenge. In her words, “Fear is a motivator, feel it, and do it anyway, it could possibly be an affirmation of something you need to do. You may fail, but you can’t quite. In all things there is a lesson. And that lesson makes you stronger and a better person.”

I’m sure we have all felt fear. How many of us have the courage of Rebecca and actually take the plunge to face it.

Rebecca is listening to her dream. Leaving the salaried stability of steady employment in following her passion to help others. “I am a full time student working on my Masters in Psychology.”

“My thesis is centered on Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)” Hearing this takes me back to my interview with Lucy, and her work against Human Trafficking. Lucy told me of the intensity of the Post Traumatic Stress Disorder suffered by the victims enslaved to the brothels and the hopelessness that many of them feel.

It is a warming encounter to meet a person like Rebecca, who is on course with the compassion and courage required to serve those ravaged by the paralysis of PTSD.

We spend a bit of time talking about her focus of treatment, “Emotional Freedom Technique (EFD)”. I am no Psychologist, but what Rebecca shares with me is very empowering.

“I want to help people to point their lives towards where they want to be.” I see the conviction in her eyes as she verbalizes this philosophy.

“Our minds are extremely powerful. Like computers, we just have to program them right.”

The bar tender walks over, “I am closing in a few minutes.”

Oh! Talk about terrible timing; we are on a killer topic. We find out we have around five minutes left before doors close.

Rebecca and I pick up the pace of our interview. To program our minds comments? A huge line of discussion, and one that at 11:00pm is just too weighty to fully discuss.

But here is my spin. “If need be, face the fear, feel the pain, do the work, apply the rules of forgiveness (to self and others) and continually strive to reframe disabling thoughts and behaviors.” Not easy to do, but very empowering if accomplished.

I wish I had a day to talk with Rebecca, but the lateness of the evening, accompanied by both of our busy work schedules, has made that impossible.

Yet, I do manage to record Rebecca’s general wishes for the future.

“I hope for a world where fighting ceases. It’s all driven by greed and the agenda’s of political parties. It would be wonderful to see people respecting each other as fellow humans. And, to intelligently work together in doing the right things.”

In closing Rebecca leaves us this sobering proposition. In all that we do, think about the “Seven Deadly Sins.”

Rebecca, your focus, compassion and courage to speak out is greatly appreciated.

It’s now 1:00am in my camp; Let’s all get some sleep now.