SideWalk Ghosts / Interview 127: “Wit” Gration

There is a colorful street, ten miles from home. I’ll call it, “The thoroughfare to culinary delight.”

I once before ventured here, several weeks ago, when I met the lovely Miss Alice (A Protector of Virtue). And in a way she works in a type wonderland, six city blocks of culture for the palate, and culture for the mind. An open aired paved arena made up of hundreds of meters of bumper-to-bumper gourmet catering trucks, all co-existing with a grand variety of open late storefronts. It’s a nomadic population, and it’s magnificent.

The event happen every week, same place, same time, and it is a glorious melting pot of man, food and humanity.

To the left, with the most beautiful aromas lofting into the air, is a taste of India; to the right, a mix of Argentinian delicacies is fronted by the luck of the Irish, a plastic chair seated quartet, performing authentic Irish folk music.

As far as I can see is variety, not only food, but people. This is my kind of destination, raw, honest and real. I’m positive I’ll be back often.

Tonight, several family friends, my daughter and wife accompany me in my 365 quest. Hey, I’ve got to share, don’t I?

Jim, my tall six-foot five buddy, is first to order. His choice, an amazing cheese steak sandwich… orders it half-size. Half size? Dude!

I figure, at five-feet nine inches, I have a responsibility for the short people, so in jesting mock of Jim’s choice, I step up to truck and order my sandwich, “Make mine a full, and I’ll have it Wit everything.”

Wit, not a typo; for those of you who have never ordered Philly style, here is my definition.

Wit (preposition), 1 – used as a function word to indicate the building of a sandwich with excessive amounts of cheese, grilled onions and other ground grown tasty stuff, <who cares if it will kill me, I’ll have it wit everything>, 2 – used a function word to indicate means, outcome or effect of consumption, <clog my arteries wit cheese>

With whatever machismo I can muster I challenge, “Jim, why did you get the half, the whole looks like more fun.”

He slays me, “I’m saving room for other samplings.”

“Ah geeze! That never dawned to me. I relent my gauntlet, I have been beaten, Jim is an outdoor dining generous. And humbled at the consumption task lying before me, I bow in defeat as I sight my spot, readying myself for a curb site eating session.

I lock eyes on the perfect ledge, the recessed window of a sports memorabilia store, but I will not be dining alone. Seated in the perch is Gration, a delightful and warm gentleman, and today’s 365 friend.

We speak rapidly, he finishing his meal, and myself a the beginning of my food frenzy. Plus, the added head count of my friends and family, who are with me this evening, leads the interview to a short but sweet set of question and answers.

Originally from Sri Lanka, Gration tells me of his career path, “In Sri Lanka I was in the import/export business, mostly garments and textiles. It was good, I was successful and the first to import into Russia.” Not an easy thing to do way back when.

From there, Gration traveled, lived in Spain for a while and finally settled in the United States.

He is a very intelligent and educated man with a list of skills and talents that would take me an hours long interview to fully understand.

But here is what I can tell you. After Sri Lanka, Gration spent years as a civil engineer and concluded his path settling in the United States, supervising for a global electronics company. He did that for 20 years prior to retiring.

I do not know what Gration is doing now; time is too short to truly find out, yet he gives me his business card, Artist.

On it is a reproduction of a spectacular pastel landscape.

I really meant it when I said, “The man is talented.”

I ask him for his website, “I do not have one, I’m not doing this to sell art, I’m doing it because I enjoy art; pencils, charcoal, water-color, it does not matter, but I have to say pastel are my favorite.”

“I’m not doing this to sell art, I enjoy art,” This in itself is an acknowledgment of Gration’s modesty

All right, we’ve seen a peek to who Gration is; a nice, smart, artistic and approachable guy. Is there more?

Oh yeah! He cares about people, more than himself. This is obvious in his openness to interview with me. There is no hesitation at all, “I’m happy to let you write about anything I have to say.”

And what Gration says has nothing to do about himself. The above stuff, I pulled it from my observations and from what can I pry out of him.

Gration has no contempt or boastfulness about him, the greatest way to label him, as I mentioned earlier, Gracious.

Gration’s biggest concern:

“I pray every day, and night before sleep, for peace in the world.”

Gration’s call to action:

“Respect each other, no matter of religion, race, creed or class. Respect them and they will respect you.”

Gration’s Dream for the world:

“Unity in all nations,” or at least, “Greater peace and harmony.”

Gration’s only self-centered request:

“I wants to settle in Italy, I love it there, Sorrento and Naples are beautiful.”

Gration, an honor dining with you. Ciao!

SideWalk Ghosts / Interview 126: The Alta Dena Man

I have no idea of what is in the air this week… I’m looking at myself… I think I’m the same as I was last Thursday?

I’ve showered… stayed polite… even dressed presentable… but if we are looking for a banner record for rejection, the last five days has set the bar for getting “Go away 365 guy.”

I’m running on half tank, and thanks to the persistence of my lovely wife and daughter who are accompanying me this night, and striving to keep my moral up. Because of them, I am happy to introduce you to the man of the hour, Kevin of Alta Dena Express fame.

I won’t give you a full rundown of our path to Kevin, just will say it’s been long and has covered a loop of almost thirty miles. Who would have ever thought, that with so much geography covered, we would find ourselves friendless?

And after so much travel, it’s quite interesting that we set port at Alta Dena Express, only one mile from our home. “Who would have thunk! (I know thunk is not a real word, but it’s so fun to say… thunk, thunk, thunk).

If you’re old enough you may remember the days of full service gas stations. I got in just under the wire, starting to drive way back in 76, close to the end of the drive-up service era and on the threshold of self-service.

Oh well, we still have drive-through Starbucks. I know a stretch for authentication.

So to drive into an Alta Dena Express is to visit back to the days of service. And Kevin’s store is a time-tested monument, one that links back to an age of community: A slower time where people looked eye-to-eye and not through the speaker of a fast food joint.

Face-to-face service that listened with a polite, “How can I help you?”

How can I help you?” Basically the core take away from my visit with Kevin.

I walk in to the store and feel of the relaxed atmosphere. It is no 7eleven with rows of Slurpee machines or rolling hurry foods.

Rolling hurry foods? I’m referring to the variety of reinvented hotdogs that 7eleven has seemed to discover. They are evil things, always tempting us on their glistening and slowing turning rollers of silver. Such powerful seducers, with one dastardly goal, to inadequately nourish their victims in filling the void of their growling stomachs.

I shamefully admit, my kid and I love them, but I guess, you’ve got to throw caution to the wind sometimes. Life is for living, and stacking the condiments on an unknown mixture of meats is my kind of thrill seeking. And at two for $2.29, who can pass on the adventure.

Let’s get back to healthier matters… the good life… the slower pace of living at Alta Dena.

I can understand why, with a smile on his face, Kevin tells me, “I’ve been working here two years.” The guy is way chill and is happy to talk with me.

I’ve mentioned community, and with Alta Dena being so close to my neighborhood, and knowing the San Fernando Valley pretty well, I know that every day brings a vast diversity of customers right to Kevin’s door.

He shares a comment with me that is very revealing as to who he is at heart, “It make things better the more people you get to know, and the more you know about other people, the more you know about other cultures.”

Kevin nods with acceptance when I state, “I bet this job has taught you a lot about people and culture.”

In his gesture, the story is told, Kevin quests not status, is not compelled to judge, or driven to own the world. He is just a steadfast dude doing the best he can to live right, and to get to know his neighbor.

Here is a unique combination of wishes for us, both of which are linked together in Kevin’s delivery of them, “Don’t quit” and “Get to know each other.”

Don’t quit, we’ve heard it time and time again, but never linked to get to know each other.

The mixture of the two statements is fascinating. There is only one-way to interpret it; could Kevin be saying this? “Don’t give up on each other.” It’s at least worth pondering.

The store is close to closing time, so after buying my health food for the evening, Snapple, a Twix Bar and Altoids, I ask Kevin our final question, “Where would you like the see the world in the next five, ten, fifteen, or beyond years.”

He answers, “The world less hungry.”

I inquire as to why he feels this way.

“I was watching a documentary on Korea the other night. They showed the hunger there. Kids are dying of starvation all over the world. It really impacted me.”

Don’t quit… Get to know each other… and more dramatically “Kids are dying of starvation.”

I’m driving home, my girl happily sipping our Snapple, and I can’t help but to be sobered by Kevin’s wishes for the future. “Makes me think how fortunate so many of us are, even if money is tight.”

Kevin, we’ll be taking again, I’m sure.

SideWalk Ghosts / Interview 125: “One of The Chosen”

He says, “You can share anything I have to say, I just don’t want my picture taken.”

There is a jovial confidence in his eyes, a confidence that first grabs my attention as I drive through a Ralphs Supermarket parking lot.

10:30pm, the night air is getting cold, and with four-hours of 365 travels behind me this evening, I am feeling a little humbled. Hours that have been filled with many great conversations and disappointing rejections, and still, I have yet to find a person who will allow me to photograph them.

The eve is growing late, and I’m getting close to a state of exhaustion. I’ve missed dinner, time with my family, and now am at risk of a very late night.

So when, from a distance, and in the safety of my warm car, I see a joyfully confident friend, Roy, as he is parking lot talking with two friends. I cannot stop myself from stopping to approach him.

Not wanting to skid up like an undercover detective, I quietly pull into a parking slip six cars away from Roy and his friends are stationed.

I walk up and tell them about 365. Roy is quickly on board to share his words, yet does not want to be photographed. And funny enough, after a long night of, “I don’t want to be photographed” responses, it seems poetically fitting to feature him as an unidentified 365 contributor. Like I’ve said, “I have no idea of where 365 is going,” I’m just following it and reporting it’s message.

To set the scene, here are the players; you’ve briefly met Roy, now say hello to his friends, Mark and Daughter, Cristina.

As I’ve mentioned, it is cold, Cristina is even shivering. And Mark, being a good father, offers her his coat. Very interested in our conversation, she declines with a captured, “I’m OK,” as she dances from left to right in keeping warm.

We talk for almost an hour, with a subject wholly focused on one major topic, God.

I never draw any pre-conclusions when I approach my friends, but the point of the conversation is something that I did not expect to have on this particular evening, standing in a cold Ralph’s parking lot at 11pm.

Mark steps up, “You can photograph me, I’ll stand proxy for Roy, he has more than me to say anyway.” We all smile, and Roy becomes a director in making Mark grin a bit, after all, I need photos to base this entry.

They are all very unassuming, and I find out they are neighbors who have coincidently run into each other while shopping.

What is interesting? At the end of our time together Roy says to Christina, “I bet you’ve never heard me talk like this before, have you?”

With warmth you would not expect to see from a summer dressed girl on a cold January night she responds, “I’m glad I’m here.”

I don’t know? I don’t want to proclaim any great hidden reason for our all meeting at this particular time, or boldly say that my path of rejections has led me here, to hear what Roy has to share with his stumbled upon friends and myself. But, what if?

Roy is very intentional in his testimony.

Testimony: The only word that comes to mind in describing Roy’s conviction to his beliefs.

Right out of the starting blocks, Roy exhorts with softness and compassion, “In all things remember God, and give thanks, apart from him there is nothing.”

“I am saddened to see the world going in a different direction. Too many are distracted, they forget God, or reject him completely. I do not want to impose my will on anybody, and everyone has the right to do so, but they will miss out on receiving the blessings they are entitled to, and that is heartbreaking to me.”

One way of getting Roy in the photo. From left to right, Mark, Christina, Roy.

As he is telling us this, I am watching Mark and Christina, there is no looking away, no dispute or any rejection, just listening ears.

Roy has us all captivated.

A have to ask, “Are you in the ministry?”

Roy’s a big guy with a big personality, he chuckles, “Not at all, think of me more as a teacher of theology.”

“Like I said, I do not want to impose my will on anybody. What matters to me is loving and caring about my neighbors, and if I can help anyone who is seeking healing, I’m there, but at the end of the day, it’s their choice.”

Roy’s desires for what’s to come:

“For myself, a greater knowledge of God, and stronger personal faith.”

“And I’d like to see the world healed, even though theologically it’s not going to happen.”

It is written, “Many are called, but few are chosen.”

Roy, thanks for sharing who you are with us. Perhaps, you are one of the chosen.

SideWalk Ghosts / Interview 124: The Farralone Line

There is a dividing line in my neighborhood, one that I have never prescribed too, politicked for, or taken notice of. But it is a boarder none-the-less.

We’ll call it the Farralone line, there are no guards, no patrols or even posted signs. Yet for some reason, it has become a discussed crossing line.

A line that in my opinion is a complete farce; a man created divide between two cultures, Anglo and Latino.

The border is a mere street, thirty or so feet wide, and a street that I welcomely cross on a daily basis.

And today, it is no surprise to me, while roller-skating with my kid, to meet two very gracious men, Dave (Not pictured) and his friend Fernando.

Both of who welcome me with open arms.

Dave tells me this of his observations regarding the two sides of the street. “You know how you can tell the difference between a Hispanic street and other streets? When people are home there is no place to park on a Hispanic street, on other streets, when people are home, the streets are empty.”

His point, the street he lives on is a living breathing community, obviously the reason that he and Fernando hanging out at day’s end.

At first glance, one might place an incorrect judgment on my neighborhood friends, sure, they have an edge to them, but is that cause for avoidance?

Dave is the least intimidating, sporting a drawn down baseball cap, and Fernando shaved head and tats are a little formidable, leading my daughter, to at first, suggest we pass on approaching them. But after a quick hello, we are both absolutely positive that these are fine men, and extend a reach out in saying greetings to our new, other side of the Farralone line, friends.

Dave’s full street comment strikes resonance with me. I’ve seen he and his neighbors playing street basketball on countless Saturdays, and have often vicariously listened to backyard music and celebration coming from the across the line.

Farralone, as I said is a farce border. A ridiculous and unfounded separation of persons, and I’m certain, a token example of the many boarders that somehow become self-imposed to many of us.

The Farralone border, then give’s us permission to reformat our notions of true community, and a calls us to re-tool our perceptions of the communities we live in.

For me, I love my street, it is a cultural melting pot, and cars on street or not, I’m here to stay.

So here we are, sun setting and enjoying another magnificent California afternoon, just talking in Dave’s front yard.

I ask Fernando to present his thoughts for you. “Never give up, it’s never too late,” so what if it is a comment that we have heard often. It is impactful in letting us all know one thing: We are not alone, in good times or in bad.

Never give up, it’s never too late; I’ve heard it from the poor, the rich, the lost and the empowered. It is universal, hearing it now in multiple languages. And with the admonitions of Fernando, its message carries on.

Unemployed for eighteen months, Fernando, a father of a two-year old son, Kobe (Named after Kobe Bryant of Lakers Fame), speaks of want for a better economy.

“It’s hard to find work, people judge me, stresses me because I’m willing to work hard.”

Of this stress, Fernando, reveals one of his other wishes for the future. I can tell it is half jest, half reality. Laughing, “I’d like to see more medical Marijuana stores;” a live discussion this week, with several interviews leaning towards the topic of substance abuse.

Dave puts me on the spot with this question, “What do you think of smoking?”

I do not condemn nor endorse anyone for their decisions, but do share that I feel it is a gateway to other harder drugs, something that I know from experience, having been a user in the 80’s. I express that I understand there are cases that are legit, medical reasons, certain mental conditions, even accept controlled social uses. But as a daily routine, I am questionable.

We sort of quietly agree to let the discussion drop and move on to a world subject.

“The more the population grows, more people become selfish,” Fernando shares.

“We can’t just think about ourselves, we have to think about others,” he adds, wrapping it up with this, “They don’t know who you are inside.”

“They look at me with tattoos, a shaved head, and draw the wrong conclusion. It’s a Lakers logo, they are my team, or what If it a tattoo of your mom’s name?

There is not a tattoo on my body, but I can relate to the shaved head. The world treats me differently when my hat is off, my face is whiskered and my apparel is tattered. Now I’m not throwing a rose-colored glasses challenge in this observation.

There is a time for neatness and time for letting go. But the point is this, when we meet each other, do we lean on first sight, status, or any other external indicator, or do we inquire, conversing with a looking eye and a listening ear.

As Fernando says, “We have to think about others,” and personalizing his second part of his message, “We don’t know who they are inside.”

“Fernando, Dave, I think I may just join you one of these street basketball days, I can’t shoot, but I can pass.”

SideWalk Ghosts / Interview 123: “To Walk With Them As The Same”

Dinner is in one hour and I decide to take a short evening stroll. Just need a little time of introspection to flush out my head. It’s been a buried business day, and albeit a positive one, I welcome a brief escape.

Well, I call it a stroll, but you and I both know, it’s really a thirty-pound of photo gear on shoulder world exploration. That’s just the way life is with my 365 commitment, and thank you for being with me on this amazing experience.

Today marks over four months for 365, and through it, we have witnessed the birth of a global community. I often say that I have no idea of were 365 is taking us. But one thing is apparent; it is helping many of us to reach out to the world.

I’ve been sincerely reading your remarks and have checked out your blogs. Your comments have been inspired and we now have over 1300 registered followers. Not bad for a little rag-tag blog.

365 is truly becoming more than a personal travel log, it has grown to be about people beyond us. Many new friends have joined us, and, in meeting them; it’s been constantly humbling the way they are driving us forward.

A new vocabulary of life’s perspectives is emerging, transparent to us all. With this, another global statement must be noted, “The world is filled with great people.”

And in talking of greatness, I am not focusing on media giants, wealth or any other form of power. The greatness I am referring to is the willingness of so many to look beyond themselves in honoring each other. A willingness that I am grateful to be part of every day as I reach out to my neighbor’s  of planet earth.

May we all continue to unite in “humanalution” (there’s that word I invented again).

With all this said, it is appropriate that I run into Justin, a very cool cat who is caretaking at Cloud 9 Hookah Lounge.

The place is only footsteps from my front door; yet, I’ve always been intimidated to walk in. Not because I don’t smoke, but embarrassingly, I have been afraid of a preconceived cultural divide. Thinking that whoever is in there… they will not understand who I am.

I am proven way off base, when I meet Justin, as he is setting a sidewalk sign. In approaching him, I feel of a peace he emits. And soon you will join me in understanding why.

“Be strong, not physically, but mentally,” Justin’s first advice for us.

He talks with optimism, all the while, directing it away from himself, “Provide yourself with more than you think you can do. Whatever it is, you can achieve it. And don’t stop dreaming, because dreams are the keys to the world.”

“Dreams are the keys to the world.” Not passion, not desire, not plans, not even education… Just dreams.

Justin and I talk about dreams for a while. In the end we conclude, that dreams are greater than passion, and are an important connection in defining our purpose on this planet. Thus, purpose, becomes the purest form of human motivation, for without it, how can we truly grow to find our fullest potential?

I’m writing a paper on purpose, and will share it with you in the future.

And for the sake of introducing the concept, Justin is our man of the hour.

On his arm is this tattoo, a self-written mission for life. It reads, “To walk with them as the same, thy here to take their pain, help them when they can not change.”

How eloquently this self-created, and very poetic verse, relates to the literal DNA of Justin’s love for the world around him.

“In high school, my career councilor told me that my tests showed that I had a propensity towards being a teacher, pastor or someone sharing a message.”

“To walk with them as the same, thy here to take their pain, help them when they can not change.” Purpose? I think so!

Here is the kind of stuff Justin does. He talks of pay it forward. But for him it is more than a concept… it’s a call to action. “Not so long ago a friend and I go into a Starbucks. We give $100 to the guy at the counter and asked him to use it to cover all the next customers until it is gone. We asked him to do it with one condition, ask everyone who receives the paid for drink to pass on a good deed.”

A monumental gesture from an (I’m sure) under funded twenty-two year old. His story blows me away. Like I said, “The world is filled with great people.”

“To walk with them as the same, thy here to take their pain, help them when they can not change…” Please go on?

Justin is a humble guy, he credits his career ambitions to words of his father, “My dad once told me that I have a gift; I did not understand what he was talking about at the time. But now I think I’m starting to.”

Justin is not boastful, self-promoting or egotistical at all in opening up with me, “I’ve always been a good listener and somehow I calm people.”

Calm people– “To walk with them as the same, thy here to take their pain, help them when they can not change.

Justin’s goal, “I’m about to start my training as a Hypnotherapist, I start school next month and will be practicing in six months. I want to use the gifts that have been given to me to help others. I hope I’ve found a way to do it.”

In speaking about the future.

“I want things get better politically, the government is going crazy.”

And on a more personal note, “Health wise, everyone in on drugs! I’m scared for the future.”

At first, I think he is using everyone in on drugs as symbolism for the way the world is running itself. On Drugs, meaning, Out of Control.

That is not what Justin is talking about; he is speaking of the factual use of drugs.

“Too many of my friends have fallen to hard drugs like XTC and Cocaine. I’ve seen it ruin their lives.”

“I remember learning this in high school, stay away from drugs, being told that Marijuana is a gateway drug. And now I fully understand, seeing how it is affecting my friends.

I even had to end my relationship with my girlfriend. She changed for the worst after getting into smoking Marijuana. She became an angry person, not the person who I knew before her addiction.”

Drug addiction has become quite a through-line over the last week… Strange how the web of 365 is forming?

All I can say is I’m glad I’m hanging in the Hookah. Still don’t smoke, but maybe I’ll stop by one and a while for a soft drink and a chat.

“Justin, I’m sure we will not be strangers.”

SideWalk Ghosts / Interview 122: Taking Care Of Family

I’m standing on a street corner, near my home, no one in sight. To tell the truth, my 365 well is a little low today, been suffering from some sort of lung irritation, but as I’ve promised, 365 will roll forward, in sickness or in health. Plus, I’m sure the outside air is doing me good.

So I just, stand, looking… waiting… while opening my mind to this acceptance, “Relax, don’t force the day, allow it come to you.”

Five minutes turns to ten, then to fifteen, and, all the while, my mind is still; I find myself in a strange sort of head zone, I’m sure, most likely brought on by the side effects of the antihistamines I’ve been consuming like M&Ms for the past forty-eight hours.

The air smells fresh, and being Sunday, the roads are clear, lessening the distraction of the usual traffic noise.

I have to say, “Even though I’m slightly under the weather, life is pretty peaceful at this particular moment, on this particular day.”

Perhaps until this instant, I was not in the right mental space to meet a new friend. Maybe, in some unexplainable way, I’m being tempered away from the, “I feel sick and have to go and get a 365 interview as fast as I can,” attitude that was plaguing me only minutes before.

But whatever the reason, I know why I am here when today’s friend, Dave, pauses his truck at the intersection right in front of me. The second he stops, I am drawn to him, and feeling like a valet parking attendant, I approach him as he checks to see if the traffic is clear to proceed.

Lucky for me, I do not scare him away with my on-street solicitation.

“How long will it take?” he asks, going on to tell me, “I’m in kind of a hurry. I’ve been driving for a while and am on my way to meet a friend at the Racquetball club around the corner.”

“We’ll make it fast,” I share with him, as I suggest he park his truck at the corner for a quick interview.

“Do you toke-up?” he asks.

At first I am taken back a little by his request. Sure, I had my days, but those are way behind me now. But I have to be exposed with you in saying, “His gesture leads my to question his intents.”

Yet, there is a warmth that shrouds Dave, and in absorbing it, the apprehension passes quickly and leaves me with a complete surety of Dave’s agenda.

That agenda, “No agenda.” Dave is just opening the doors to camaraderie.

I explain, “I don’t smoke, but you are welcome to take a hit and we can just talk for a while.”

His first word of advice to us, “Stay clean and positive.”

At first, I’m a little floored by the stay clear part. I share with him, “Please forgive me for my question, and so you know, I used to smoke, a long time ago, but don’t anymore. How can you stay clean and smoke pot?”

Dave is straight up. “I hear you, I don’t smoke it to get high, I smoke it to overcome by back pain. Plus, I know how bad drugs are, my two older brothers are Heroin addicts, and so was my dad at one time. I understand the bad side of drugs.”

He describes the genesis to his back pain, “When I was nineteen I was in a bad car accident. My back was broken, I was paralyzed, in bed for two months, and have a lot of Titanium in me.” As he tells me this, he points to a major region of his back and torso. It’s a huge injury.

“I became dependent on narcotics to manage the pain, and swore I would never again use them. That is why I smoke pot.” Dave concludes.

I’m not to judge, but having had lower back issues myself, I can empathize with the pain he is talking about. To each their own, and in respect to him, and to the sanctity of reportage, I must extend that privilege to Dave.

“Be positive,” A key in Dave’s launching points. Overcoming a serious back injury is an actualization in itself. But her is where he exemplifies the premise.

All right, let’s put the pot thing behind us. “Keep moving forward and stay conscious, you have to keep your eye on where you are going, where you are at, and where you have been.”

“Where you have been?” Dave is only twenty-six, rather young to be living by such a wise philosophy. I can tell you he has earned the life degree to honor the statement.

He even elaborates on the philosophy, “You’ve go to know where you don’t want to be, to know where you do want to be.”

And after talking with Dave for a short time, I might have a glimpse of where he wants to be, taking care of his family.

“If you don’t have love, your empty in life,” Dave shares.

He speaks of family and of his brothers, both of whom have been plagued by the evils of Heroin addicting.

“My oldest brother is in prison for assault, and my other brother is living with me and my mom. He has a daughter, and is doing his best to stay clean. Right now, I’m supporting him, his daughter and my mom. It’s hard, but it’s what you do for family. Because without family, you have nothing.”

“Be positive,” Here is another zinger. Remember Dave’s back injury at age nineteen. “My dad was there to help me through it, it took two years, and right after I was up, he broke his neck. I spent two years helping him recover.”

“Those were the best four years of my life. My dad died of a heart attack just after that.” Dave recalls this as he holds back a small tear in the corner of his left eye.

Dave shows me his tattoo that is a tribute to his father

I am touched in remembering the loss of my father and share with Dave a few magical moments I’ve had since my dad’s passing. Things that assure me that life is eternal, and we will one day be together again. We agree and move on.

“My mom fell apart after death of my father, and even though she has always been the rock in keeping our family together, I knew it was my time to do my part.”

 And that is exactly what Dave is doing. “I started a silk screening business and am thankful to say, it is supporting us.”

He also tells me, “All my hardships have made me who I am and have helped me to be a business owner and provider I am becoming.”

Dave, not only credits his life to the example and strength of his mother, but also to good friends, all of whom have helped to keep him on track and off the deep end.

I ask him of his future, he gives me a list:
• Happy and together with family
• Stable
• Living in a world where people take the time to stick together
• Seeing a society that doesn’t take the easy way out, with people using their own two hands.

He closes with this, “Love life, love self, then you’ll be better to the world and everything.”

Dave, you’ve earned your chops, thanks for stopping to talk today.

May your business thrive and your family heals!

SideWalk Ghosts / Interview 121: “Don’t Rebuild, Reload”

“We lack the most important word in the dictionary – Cooperation. Without it, we can’t do anything.”

It’s an interesting quote coming from, Andrew, a silently powerful intellectual with a path of physical wisdom behind him.

What do I mean by physical wisdom? I’ll do my best to explain.

Looking at Andrew, it is hard to believe he was once in a fight for health, being on the verge of unhealthy obesity. He humbly credits his literal rebirth to well-being not to himself, but to his teachers, telling me, “The key is to find a good trainer who knows what they are doing, and if you do, and you are in good hands.”

It took him almost two years of study, effort and consistency to loose over two hundred pounds, about ten pounds a month for twenty months. I ask him, “Was it difficult at first?” He tells me, “The first five months were the toughest, but I just concentrated on the goal.”

With this success, Andrew has transformed his life from student to teacher, now a full time physical trainer.

OK, we get it, Andrew is physically fit, and it makes sense why he is a trainer and giving back to the community.

But where does the silently powerful intellectual thing come in?

Let’s start on the dark side and move towards the light.

As I do in all my interviews, my final question is always, “Where do you see the world, or yourself in the next five, ten, fifteen, twenty or even beyond years?”

I’m sure you have read this question many times if you are a full time follower of 365, and thanks for reading it again. If not, now you know.

In it, I have received countless positive outlooks, calls to action and dark predictions.

Andrew’s answer, “It’s already become what it is going to be, and we have to accept it. The only thing that will change is the weather. We just need to keep putting the right foot in front of the left.”

From someone who has conquered a monumental physical trial, this response almost seems contrary to his character. “I’m one of the lucky one’s he says of his trek to physically fit.”

He tells me of the statistics for those who find their way to condition, it floats around one percent. That number floors me, and it forces me to take it as personal council to get my eating habits in order.

Again, an extremely positive and active comment, so why the pessimistic sounding, “It’s already become what it is going to be, and we have to accept it. The only thing that will change is the weather. We just need to keep putting the right foot in front of the left.”

It get’s even darker when Andrew tells me of the Tattoo’s on his wrists, Dark Lotus, a band that he calls, “The music of the modern day Dead Heads.”

I watched four of their videos, and if violence, sex and language are you thing, they are the band for you.

Andrew, I mean no disrespect; Dark Lotus is just a bit too heavy for me.

But in reflecting on their message and linking it to your responses, I’m pretty sure I get the message.

You state, “Society will fix itself, if we the people do something about it.”

That’s what I get from Dark Lotus, even thought their message is strikingly harsh, and I’m sure offensive to many, they are talking about standing up to do something. Howbeit in a rather anarchical way, they are non-the-less making the following statement.

“We will take control of what we will, or can.”

And in the world of art, expression and even personal-point-of-view, I will never step on, or condemn, anyone’s freedom of expression.

So Andrew, in a walking on the edge way, I see how you relate the band to your thoughts for the world. And, Readers, Andrew’s perspective is far from dark and violent.

In his words of council for us, as any self-respecting trainer would do, Andrew challenges us, “It’s all about mindset, you can’t take any loss personally. It’s all part of growth, and with a positive mental attitude you can do anything. No matter what the experience, you have to think of everything in life as the gas you need to get around. And with that fuel, you can have inner peace.

Inner peace vs. violent band? Still confused?

Let’s work at it some more.

“Don’t rebuild, reload,” the definition Andrew uses to thumbnail his above council, it’s the mind set stuff he is talking about.

I call him a silently powerful intellectual. Why?

If you were standing in his presence during our interview, you would most likely notice, at first meeting Andrew is reserved, calm and listening; but as he opens up he reveals a very inquiring and impassioned side of his personality.

Andrew is all about unity, and possesses a deep concern for the people, and in maintaining the freedoms that we so enjoy in the United States.

He calls us to action, “You have two choices, you can live the rat race, or live off the land.”

The “land” he is talking is not our getting lost in the forests or an open fielded homestead, but rather, and I’m guessing here, “the land,” refers to each other.

“Each other,” meaning, doing our part to better our condition, physically, mentally, spiritually and politically.

Politics is a big topic, and one that I cannot fully address in this entry. Plus, it would be against the mission of 365 to promote any one party conclusion or campaign in any way. But here is what Andrew is saying.

“It is up to us, not the government to determine our future,” In this call, he is not speaking of revolution, but rather, and I’m inventing a word here, humanalution.

Humanalution, I like it, and it fits with Andrew’s, “living off the land.”

In “the land” Andrew is talking of the people as a whole: Individuals, homes, streets, communities, cities, states and beyond. “

“The most powerful word in the dictionary is Cooperation. Andrew stands.

And “We the people,” is his course.

Yep, I think I’ve described Andrew correctly: Silently powerful, Intellectual and with a depth of Physical Wisdom.

See you at the gym buddy.

SideWalk Ghosts / Interview 120: Hearts Of Flesh

I need to make this entry short today, and I’m pretty sure that my new friends, Kim and Danna, will appreciate my reasoning. My daughter just walked away from me, after wanting us to watch a YouTube that is important to her, I responded in regrettable fathering, saying, “Give me a minute, you know how I am when I am writing.”

She is a great kid, “I know daddy, just your saying that a lot lately. I’ll show it to you when your done,” and off she goes to her household activities.

Hit’s a direct bulls eye at the core of my heartstrings, and after this evenings interview, I know where I need to be – ASAP: With my daughter.

Both Kim and Danna have this wish for the future and for the world, “We wish for the family to be restored.”

For both of these women of service, family is of the utmost importance. And I am certain that if they were here, they would peel me from my keypad. So with that said, I’m sharing with you cliff notes from our interview.

Regarding “women of service:”
I meet Kim and Danna outside of a supermarket where they are contributing their time to teen challenge international (www.teenchallenge.org), an amazing organization that has, to date, changed the lives of over 86,769 teens struggling to escape the tragic grasp of drugs. I find it kind of interesting to run into them after yesterday’s comments from Lauren regarding the devastating effects of addiction.

For five days a week they are either camped, as they are tonight, in one place, or going door to door in raising donations for the efforts of the organization.

What drives them to give such an enormous amount of their time to the cause?

To quote Kim, “We all need to find time to let go of ourselves, and realize everyone is of value, and we need to learn to put others before us. We have an obligation.”

A very spiritual person, Kim goes on to share this in her council to the world, “Be still and know he is God.”

Danna smiles at Kim, “Oh I like that! It’s the truth, and very simple, he’s going to handle it, we can rest in that.”

I’ve always had a bit of an issue with grace, I believe in it, but feel that we also have to do the works in life. If we do good, we receive good; I we are tolerant, we are accepted; If we give service, we receive sustenance; and so forth.

So in meeting Kim and Danna, my notion is confirmed: Two good people doing what they do in one shared purpose, and they are putting their actions where their hearts are.

I am inspired!

Kim expounds with this thought, “It’s cooler to see a lot of people doing a little, than a few people doing a lot.”

So I ask myself, “Am I doing my part? …I hope so.”

Both Kim and Danna combine their voices in making this plea, “That any of us with hearts of stone, work to turn them to hearts of flesh.”

Here is one observation I make that may shed some light on the heart of flesh thing.

As we are talking, both Kim and Danna are actively engaged in hellos to all who pass, most of whom either contribute, or, at least, are open and friendly to the message of these two selfless women.

But every now and then comes a person who is belligerent or dismissingly rude, some even physically showing signs of repulsion to even look at either Kim, Danna or myself.

I ask us this. “Of the above mentioned, which passer byes carry the hearts of flesh, and who is burdened with the stone?”

It seems to me we can all dodge the stone arteries with even the simplest of gestures; old school stuff like, hello, a smile, or sadly, the lesser and lesser used, thank you.

Perfect timing, my little chef has just come up to me, “Daddy, want noodles?” I forgot to tell you, she is a nine-year old epicurean.

I’m off to the dining room.

Until tomorrow, my friends.

SideWalk Ghosts / Interview 119: “No One Is Perfect”

Here I am, basking in the harsh conditions of a California winter. Yeh, I know the West Coast economy and politics are, for many, less than desirable, but on a day like today, it’s worth the compromise.

I have an ongoing joke with a good friend of mine, a transplant to Pennsylvania, he tells me of the seasons, and I tell him of the warm. I’m good with the warm.

Welcome to the Westlake Promenade, an outdoor shopping center where I am meeting a friend by association, Lauren, the assistant manage at the Enterprise Rent-A-Car of friends from the weeks past.

They are a family in working together, and to leave one of the clang out would just be wrong.

I am first to arrive and after a long day communing with my techno friend, Mr. Laptop, my wrists, neck and shoulders are thrilled to grab a bit of afternoon days end chillage (chillage, I claim inventing the word, but it’s OK if you use it).

For sake of story telling and reference, here is my situation and frame of mind: To the right, a couple students are laughingly studying. Their thick textbooks flashing me back to my high school years while slapping me into a scholastic reality. From the distance, looks like algebra, but who’s staring.

Staring is an understatement, it’s more of a Holly Hell! tightening of the chest. Why the shortness of breath, my kid is nine, we homeschool, and I’ve been deemed, school principle, science and math teacher. The dean and science stuff is fun, but Algebra*!*.

Right now, a prep school in Pennsylvania is not looking so terrible. And, to add to this reflection, I was actually tempted several months ago to move to the city of brotherly love, when I came within inches of taking a corporate job in Philly. But thanks to a CEO who has troubles comparing my personality test to who I am, the position dissolved. Well the city was cool; just some CEO’s don’t get the spirit.

Yet, all the way through an extensive two months of phone interviews, face-to-face meetings with a plethora of departmental heads and VP’s, and, yes, bearing the infamous-six-hour personality test, my heart was constantly telling me, “Don’t do it!”

For the entirety of the two months, fear of a downward economy compromised my decision-making and burdened my instinct. I denied my own self-worth and settled for the comfort of a possibly secure income. Not to knock it, would have been nice in a way, but in retrospect, I understand why it was not to be. Forgive my indulgence in publically making the following claim, and I ask you to apply it to your lives as well, “I’m in a better place anyway.”

I was blinded by opportunity, and the universe redirected me to the right decision, “Simply staying put!”

Readers, thanks for allowing me this therapeutic moment, but as sit, waiting for the arrival of Lauren, I found it impossible to hold back this stream of consciousness.

Perhaps its purpose is to bring to focus that many of us are going thought similar trials with work, career or family. But whatever the reason, I guess there is one take away I can share, “Whatever the case, never loose our passion, it will always steer us right, regardless of the difficulties and temptations we endure.”

With this stage set, I am grateful for what I have titled, “The Philly Experiment,” and have used it to commit my life to the pursuit of a new direction for 2012. That direction, I’m calling it “inspired decision.”

I know at this moment, inspired decision applies to all of use. Life experience happens for a reason, and if we weather it well, accepting our pasts, and doing our best to move forward, better horizons “always” open up.

I choose the word always with intent. Intent based on both observations of my life history as well as the histories shared with me from the, now over 200, friends of 365. All who have proven to me that every human possesses a voice deep inside, one that most often tells them who they are, and what they need to do. The tough part, it never tells us why we are here, that is the part, which is very difficult to accept. But the question to explore is “Do we have the courage and tenacity to listen to the who’s and the what’s.”

This question is cornerstone to making the following proclamation; “’Mortality is filled with the good and the bad, and within each, there is reason and potential for advancement. What we do with it is up to us, and, as I previously mentioned, with the right perspective, ‘better horizons open up.’”

And with that, it is my finding that the more humbly we embrace our trials, our victories, and learn to patiently weather the storm of life, a sweetness in our hearts can grow; A sweetness that is cleansing, clearing our countenance and giving us the ability to accept self and co-exist with one another.

And as per Lauren, she exemplifies this proclamation, “My boyfriend and I are learning religion on a different level. We are who we are; embrace it, god created us for a reason. You don’t have to fit into society the way it tells you to. If you want to wear a tutu, wear it.”

My perception, Lauren is speaking of acceptance, living with patience and a loving view of the world.

“God created us for a reason.” My take on Lauren’s religion, “Stay kind, respect each other and look toward the future with open arms.” With this, the reasons will be unveiled at the right time.

Working at a rental car company has given Lauren a macro glimpse of society, experiencing both the shining and darker examples of man.

“People need to relax, it’s just a rental car, and I’m here to help you.”

Lauren tells me of the rudeness that many express as they rent their vehicles. Her philosophy in dealing with it, “No one is perfect” and “Patience is a virtue.”

She asks us all to remember, “Next time you are wanting to react negatively towards a person, think about this, “They are your neighbor, They are a human being, They are in your community.”

Again Lauren speaks of acceptance, using this quote from one of her favorite authors, Kyra Davis: “Man cannot improve on God’s creations. When we try, we get things like Hairless dogs and “cheese” that you squeeze out of a can.”
I ask Lauren about her desires for the future:

Wow”…She contemplates, “I have no idea.”

After a short pause, her composure is regained, “A good president, people out of debt, not living paycheck to paycheck, and the ability to have real vacations – like in Australia. Anything that will help us all to not be stuck, but to live a little bit.” She hums the Supertramp tune.

I’ve looked at Lauren’s Facebook and cannot ignore one more of her favorite quotes,

“There’s been a time for war, a time for strife, a time set aside for everything under the sun. We must now set aside a time for love” -Stevie Wonder

This Stevie Wonder revelation sums up Lauren in one sentence.

Strife is no stranger to Lauren. Towards the end of our interview she opens up a life experience.

“My sister overcame a drug addiction, it was so hard on my family, but she is past it now and happily married with two children.”

Her call to us is matter of fact, “Don’t do drugs! Especially hard drugs!

They not only destroy your life, but the lives of your whole family.

ADDICTION IS BAD!! PERIOD!

We speak of trust, “If you can’t trust the world, find one person to trust, and when you need them, turn to them. We don’t need to be alone.”

In closing Lauren gives us an action item.

First ask yourself, “Are you completely satisfied – always.”

“If not, at least make a list, and check it off as you go.”

All right, I’ll add one more thing to my list, “Learn Algebra.”

Lauren, see you next time I rent. “How much for the Ferrari?”

SideWalk Ghosts / Interview 118: A Charge to Optimism

Rejection is key tonight. The man working at 7-Eleven, warm not interested; a local auto repair center… “We’re too fried to speak”; the pizza joint, “Life is good, we need to treat each other well, but I’m out.” It’s just the beginning a deluge of rejections.

The dry cleaner… “Great idea, don’t want to be photographed”; the accountant next door… “I like it. Not me”; The cool girl at the tanning salon… “I’m in,” but when I tell her she will be the front page of my blog for 24 hours, she gets self-conscience and declines.

Off to the supermarket to grab my wife’s medication (bronchitis bites). I ask the pharmacist. You guessed it, “It’s a nice idea, but I’m too busy.”

Rejection is part of 365, I’m good with that, but please, someone help me out here. I’ve got a sick wife to tend to; an all-night 365 outing is just not a select option tonight.

To my left, watching the whole exchange, is a shop customer. I turn to him (I’m sure I look a little exasperated), “Did you hear what we were talking about?…” I share with my unknown friend.

“No, I didn’t catch it.”

“Perhaps you can save me from a long night of insanity?”

My still-unknown friend is all ears as I introduce him to 365, while telling him of the rejections I have thus far had.

Without hesitation, “I’ll do it! Is it OK if I am a Scientologist?”

“Of course,” I tell him, explaining that 365 makes no claim to highlighting any one specific religion, political point of view, race, gender, income bracket or really, any differentiator of humanity.

Simply told, “365 features people for who they are, and that’s it.”

With the history of the night told, I think it’s fair of me to finally let you know the name of my sanity saving friend.

Say “Hello” to Cesar, father of two and a king of positive thinking.

It’s a little awkward being in a supermarket taking photos of Cesar, feels like the eyes are upon us as shoppers pause to take notice of what we are doing. Plus, the security guard at the entrance looked at me with trepidation as I entered the store, and wanting to be assured that we do not become a distraction to the mobs of shoppers, we make our interview short and sweet.

There is a persuasive comfort present in speaking with Cesar, and it leads me to my earlier mentioned perception of his infectiously positive attitude.

Of Mankind, he starts with this, “I want mankind to be totally awesome.”

A rather global statement. “How can that happen?” I challenge.

He clarifies, “It starts with the individual. We can be awesome if we all could find a way to do our part.”

To quote Cesar, “First we have to make ourselves whole, and from there we are able to help others out.”

His concept is of selflessness, not selfishness.

In his words, “I’d like to see honesty in every single person. People who listen to other people who want to be heard in letting them express their feelings without judgment.”

Cesar throws a second global charge, “If we were nice to each other we’d have no crime.”

Sounds overly optimistic, I know, but what is relevant in his charge is what we do with it.

There is great power in one. If we do our best and help others, the probability of those we uplift will become viral. One, becomes two and two becomes four.

Think of all the great examples of one: the compassion of Mother Theresa, the integrity of Abraham Lincoln and the courage Rosa Parks; only a few who through their faith and perseverance did great works. Who is to say that one effort is naught?

Cesar, I applaud your optimism.

His final wish, a father of two, Cesar concludes, “I dream that my kids will grow up in a better world.”

Cesar, I’m with you.

Now back to shopping.