richard radstone

In life we have two choices:
“What is the most important thing to have?”
“What is the most important thing to lose?”

Questions that Ronnie leans on in navigating his life decisions.

“I came to the United States in 1978 when the revolution started in Iran and as I was accepted to college,” Ronnie introduces himself as we sit for a mall chat.

An entrepreneur, Ronnie is the owner of two Subway sandwich stores. But in the telling of his history it is quickly apparent that the pursuit of wealth is the farthest from his priorities.

“I have two franchises…” Ronnie tells us “… this one barely breaks even and it is a good thing that I have the other, but together they bring in enough for my families needs.

Money is not the most important thing.”

Leads me to inquire, “What is the most important thing, Ronnie?”

Ronnie responds in narrative form, “I remember when I was young, my neighbors were part of my family, and my family was very close.

I prioritize my job as second to my family.”

A life commitment that is telegraphed in Ronnie’s account of the choices that led him into the business of making lunch, “Years ago I sold my business and started something different that would allow me time with my kids.

My family is the most important thing in my life, and my wife and I do all that we can to spend time with our children.

Our basic priority is to always have dinner together. It is our time to talk, and from it, we are very close.”

We have spoken of family quite a bit throughout 365. And the definition of family has been explored in many ways. We’ve covered the spectrum, from families of birth right to families of association. In all is the evidence of a fundamental shared human trait: To be part of something more than the materialistic self. To be accepted, loved  and nurtured in one-way or another.

A premise that Ronnie subscribe to in his observations of the world, “People are more behaved now, more courteous and careful not to hurt another person.

I see how parents are trying to take care of their kids, and a society that more than ever does not let the kids be abused.

We are heading in a good direction, but the news tries to get attention on the negative.

It’s like, if a dog bites a man… that is no big deal… but if a man bites a dog, people pay attention.

Television is always trying to find the man who bites the dog in trying to shock us.”

“Where are we heading?” I ask Ronnie.

“It’s a revolution of information and we are all becoming one. The economy is not as bad as it was thirty years ago,” Ronnie begins as he projects ahead fifty years.

“In fifty years, life will probably be similar. Over the past fifty years we have had the best of everything. Technology will continue to grow, but we have already discovered so many of the life changing basics.

The biggest thing I see is that the people will be better.

The law is getting stronger and stronger, and it is no longer and eye for an eye.”

Ronnie counsels us, “The simple life is better”, as he departs his closing wisdom, “Never put your head on the pillow with worries.”

Ronnie introduced us to two choices:
“What is the most important thing to have?”
“What is the most important thing to lose?”

Simple questions with not so simple answers, and in giving them to us, Ronnie has shaken our minds a little. He calls us to take a quite moment of thought this evening. To reflect as we rest our heads down to sleep, “Do I have any worries…? And, if so… how can I lose them?”

In a small park far away from persecution, in a community unaffected by hunger and thirst, and with a group of families who in most respects have led a life not in need of the basic necessities, is found a spring of compassion.

A fountain of humanity that pours forth via no means of engineering or powered by any aquifer; but, rather an unstoppable source of outreach that flows through the minds and efforts of a special group of children this day.

A congregation of tomorrow’s leaders for a new world… and today, a gathering of what I have to refer to as, “My hero’s.”

“Where might we be?” you ask.

It’s our weekly park day, a day, where throughout the school year, fifty or more families gather in coming together in unity and education; a group of much diversity and life histories, yet today a group that has joined in one objective, to raise money to build wells in Sudan.

The brainchild not of the adults in this weekly community, but a project conceived by the very children (most of whom are under twelve years of age) we as adult are raising and chaperoning this day.

They have titled the day, “Walk for Water,” in doing their best to emulate the conditions that the children in Sudan suffer as they walk over two hours, up to twice a day, carrying water to their villages. Water that at many times is unclean and diseased.

So to be part of an assembly of not only informed, but well-researched children, who have all bonded together to do works of good is quite inspiring.

For reference, here are a few statistics on the water crises in Sudan:
• 12.3 million people only have access to contaminated water
• 30% of the rural population and 40% of the urban population have clean drinking water
• Only 5% of Khartoum’s population has access to a central sewage system
• Only 20% of rural dwellers have some form of sanitation services (usually pit latrines)

All facts that many of today’s walkathon kids know, and facts that are the result of following the first inspiration to organize this fund-raising event, the works of Salva Dut, a man featured in Linda Sue Park’s novel “A Long Walk To Water.”

Dut’s history in itself is cause for applause, but the important celebration this day is the walkathon that is occurring in his behalf. Uncountable numbers of children have pledged, even found sponsors to contribute dollars to the distances that they have committed to in carrying gallons of symbolic water. Water ranging in weight from one-half gallon to three gallons; water that they have pledged to feel the weight of for four miles of park laps; water that with blistered hands they unceasingly move forward in tribute in raise money to send to the Water for South Sudan Foundation.

A foundation that, as the brainchild of Dut, has one major goal: To save lives, build communities and to give rest and health to the many families and children of Sudan. Families and children who on a regular basis must trek a path that is not optional; but, fundamentally required for their literal existence.

I call these kids, “My hero’s.”

There is one child who grabs my attention, I young boy (he’s about six, for hours he has been dedicated to the weight of one gallon. I question the source of his tenacity, and in doing so; I have the privilege of meeting his mum… and fellow Brit, Jessica.

In Jessica’s opening words I quickly understand the origins of the special charisma that this young child so gracefully strides with, it’s a reflection of his parent’s outlook.

“Do what is right rather than what is expected,” Jessica challenges.

And although Jessica shares her sentiment with the humblest of tones, I take the liberty to upgrade her thoughts to a challenge, “You don’t have that opportunity every day of your life, every moment is an opportunity, and someone is always watching,” Jessica expands as she give credit to whom she refers to as her ultimate teacher… Jesus Christ.

Now here is her key to embracing the world, “Know that you are loved. And that love is a divine love just for you, and in that, there is a divine purpose in knowing god and being known by god.”

I’m sure we have all had our moments of feeling alone, or have got caught up in the fury of life’s pace and influences. Jessica refers to it as the machine in suggesting a self-reflection for us all, “Most of us have figured out that the machine does not satisfy…” she encourages.

“…And to make decisions based not on ones own good, but sacrificially for the good of others, this is the greatest of freedoms.

The way the world is currently heading is dangerous. We have to be careful not to live a life based on what we do… or on what we want, instead of living a life based on what we can give.

We can never know what is good for everyone else. That is judgment. God’s plan is to prosper us… not harm us.

 So if we listen to what the God of love wants for others, then through us, He can give it.

It is not about us knowing what is the best for those around us, it is about our ability to listen.”

As stated by Dep Tuany, Former Vice President, Water for South Sudan, 2009 – 2010, “Regardless of your cultural, tribal and religious belief, it all about humanity.”

Jessica, thank you for uplifting us with your faith in humanity. We will do our best to honor you.

Two days ago we met veteran of the streets, Pappy. What I did not let you in on was the fact that we were not alone. With us was John, not homeless, but on the fringe of living on the streets.

Today, I catch up with John and have the privilege to tell a little of his story.

“My fall is temporary and it’s very humbling,” John starts off.

“This is not me. I’m a former professional, even a future professional. I didn’t ask for this.”

John’s story is a story that many of us, I’m sure, can relate to. It all began in 2008, the fist wave of this difficult recession we are still healing from. At that time he was working data entry at Blue Cross.

“I was beginning to have terrible back pain,” John reflects. And that, added to the demands of a less than compassionate boss, led to an immense stress load that deepened his physical pain.

“I got medical aid and it was diagnosed that I had three bulged disks, all lower back, and all aggravated by prolonged sitting.”

Luckily for John, at the peak of his physical therapy treatments he was transferred to a new division where his new bosses were understanding of his condition.

“They were great — set me up with an ergonomic workstation and for a few years managing my pain and work stress was tolerable”

But in perfect recession form, the company reorganized and John found himself under the management of his previous, uncaring supervisor.

“She wrote me up several time for various incidents, and with the promise of a positive review in a few months, I worked even harder to correct the write ups. The three months passed and upon excelling in my numbers, I received zero acknowledgment.

“I looked around the department and everyone was unhappy, literally working with their shoulders slumped,” John leans his forehead on his hands to illustrate the general posture of the department.

“My pain was coming back, but esteem was being destroyed and enough was enough. I had to prioritize my mental and physical health. I gave my notice.”

John’s story is a step into a perfect storm.

First Gust: Pain and stress leading to resignation of employment.

Thunder: Sister who he shared residence with runs up unrecoverable debt load.

Lightening Strike: Father who was helping financially and emotionally, dies suddenly.

The Flood: Bills become overwhelming — house is repossessed.

The Landslide: John finds himself and dependent sister destitute and on the edge of homelessness.

At the time of this writing the streets are only inches away from John and his sister. They are literally squatting in the home that they had spent years paying a faithful mortgage.

“We’ll stay as long as we can, until they throw us out. The realtor has been pretty cool, but he cannot hold off the bank forever. I never in my wildest dreams thought I’d ever be in this situation. It’s very humbling.”

I ask John for his council to us, “’It may sound obvious to say, ‘I believe in God’”

He takes a short pause to think in growing his advice, and then gives us this, “You need to look into yourself and learn to draw on the power within you to do what you need to do… but you have to want to do it. It is almost like a calling.”

We sit and talk of options, some John has attempted, some are new to his ears. But in all John shines a willingness to do whatever is takes to avoid what he refers to as the “H” word.

John talks of society, “I will never look at people the same, and I’ve learned a lot hanging out with Pappy. He has looked out for me and I will always appreciate him for that. I can only look at this chapter of my life with open eyes and have grown to appreciate charity, as hard as it is to accept.”

I ask my final question, “What do you see for the future of the planet and the people on it?”

John Answers, “We’ve survived as a planet. We’ve gone through a lot. I don’t think it is as dire as we think it is. I think if we are good enough to each other that we can survive. In the end we will be OK.”

I share the seventeen dollars I have in my pocket, as I wish John all the luck he deserves.

John, I’ll do what I can to watch your back, my friend.

What I’m loving about 365 is the open forum it is becoming. And with it, my wish for all who are traveling with us on this journey of friendshipping is that we are all-absorbing the unique perspectives from so many individual people. All people, who in one-way or another are mostly living under the radar of public exposure; it is this fact that many have commented. 365 is about real people… people as they are and speaking for what they believe.

And it is these brief glimpses into the minds, and experiences, of those who have courageously stepped forward in allowing us to hear their words that has brought us together. After all, “We are all in this thing together.”

It is in that charge of unity that today, when upon my family’s arrival home from morning errands accompanied by my wife’s subsequent announcement, “You’re 365 guy is outside… go now!” that I leave my desk to say hello to Daniel… ice cream man and modern-day patriot.

With unstoppable energy Daniel launches into a storm of concern, opinion and research with an opening statement, “We have to not allow ourselves to be shut down by agencies that are starting socialism.

All the pieces are there, are we going to let society to become categorized and labeled?”

Daniel does not filter his advice with popular redirect and leans towards the example of Martin Luther King in charging a vigilant cry to action, “If Martin Luther King did it… we can do it too!

The truth is there, we just have to speak out!”

Daniel speaks of Monarch Mind Control Manipulation and positions that the political parties have built-in order to divide the country. “They keep the chaos,” he warns.

“TV and media are big part of it… Turn the TV off…  Go outside of your house… Meet your neighbors… And do it now!

This town was built on us.

We don’t need to be divided by politics, or hidden agendas, we need to come together and respect each other in treating each other the way we want to be treated. It’s all about having and living by good moral values.”

In this, Daniel references a point in history, “Look at President Kennedy’s speech on secret societies and oaths, he spoke out and it got him assassinated.”

“We have to come together as a people. There is hope for a united world. But if we don’t do anything…

…We will end up either 1984 mind controlling microchips… or it going to be a non-existent earth, with dust and solar storms.”

“The choice is ours!” Daniel concludes as he references a famous line from the film Network News, “We’re mad as hell… and we’re not going to take it anymore!

I’m going to make today entry quick and simple, it’s my wife’s birthday and after 232 days of co-marriage to 365, I feel it only fair to be as brief as I can in my writing today.

Yet to be too brief would also be unfair to my new friend Casey, whom I meet during a short neighborhood stroll.

In four beats, here is how I meet her.

Beat One: Walk with wife to visit a family friend.

Beat Two: At arrival of friend’s house, take short leave of absence to trek the neighborhood (Got to love my better half’s support of 365)

Beat Three: Approach unknown neighbor as he arrives home (Jeff, not pictured), and although interested in the project, Jeff declines, saying, “Let me get my wife, she will interview with you, ” and disappears into his house.

Beat Four: Upon the decline of Jeff’s wife (got to give here a break, she has just returned home from a fourteen hour work day), family friend Casey, our enthusiastic new friend to 365, emerges out the front door of Jeff’s residence.

The sun is dropping fast and all of us, although engaged in new friendship, are ready to settle into our own personal family time.

Casey is very interested in our mission of uniting a community, and something about her is captivatingly positive.

“What words of wisdom would you like to share with the world?” I ask.

“Can I be short and to the point?” Casey requests.

“Whatever you want to say, there are no rules,” I assure her.

Turns out that Casey is a mother of three and her advice is to that point. “Love your kids… they grow up very fast… you don’t want to miss any of their life.”

I think you will agree that there is not much more I can say to embellish on Casey’s council.

In looking at the future,  “The world is in the last days, the Mayan calendar ends December 21, 2012, and I think that will be the end of the world.” Smiling, Casey adds, “That is also my oldest son’s birthday.”

“Are you frightened for what’s to come?” I follow-up.

With a completely relaxed persona Casey easily replies, “Doesn’t bother me, I live my own life and do my best to be positive for all that is to come. There is nothing to worry about.”

In her own words, “Life is too short to be an ***hole.”

I’ve never told you about my Las Vegas days. Born in the UK, raised in Vegas. Sort of makes me a civilized, and mostly retired, creature of the night.

For many years I had a thriving studio in “Sin City (BTW: I prefer it’s greater title of “The Entertainment Capitol of the World”).”

And from the very first day of having a driver’s license, at sixteen years old, the music scene along with its accompanying nightlife was no stranger to me.

And although I made my share of bad decision’s as well as remembered good days, what is gregariously apparent to me now, is how deeply different the life’s of today’s kids is compared to the days of my late teens and early twenties.

Things like political issues in the school system, the increase of carnage and vice in the media, and how can we overlook the social network with its bombardment of endless data.

Now don’t get me wrong, I’m still the same kid that I have always been, still just as silly, able to come up with fresh ideas, and have not lost my hopeless optimism. And even though I may suffer a little more knee and back pain at a youthful fifty, I’ll still hold my own against most twenty something’s on a mountain bike.

So with the pace of living in the 2012’s running faster than I assume history had ever imagined, we must question where we are heading. A brain smack that hits me square in the face every time I look at my daughter, and a thought that impassions an undeniable shortness of breath and palpitating heart.

However, I feel there is a silver lining every time I look at today youth with a ray of light. Over the last months of 365 I’ve stopped to chat with 100’s of these bearers of the future. I’ll not paint a false picture, some truly have scared the life out of me in viewing them a inheritors of the planet, while at the same time the majority have given me a glimmer of faith in their mature perspectives of what is to come and how they are going to influence the world of tomorrow.

We all see it every day, intolerance, unsubstantiated anger, greed, lust and any order of the seven deadly sins. Conditions that are aided with the ceaseless input and ease of access to the media through entertainment and the social network.

And in a society where this intoxicating and electronic pace of day-to-day events shows no signs of slowing down, where do our teens play?

Enter David, owner of Cobalt Café, rock club, meeting place and non-alcoholic venue for the rock and rollers of our new generation.

“Richard! Don’t tell me you are about to endorse a place where I would not let my kids hang out!”

Well indulge me, perhaps I am, but with good cause.

David gets it, and after twenty-one years of perfecting his club model, may I propose that what he has established an edgy safe haven of sorts.

I queue in on this as I am speaking with him outside of the venue. Tonight has drawn quite a crowd and at an early 7:00pm the line is forming. Kids of every demographic are filing into Cobalt Café, and over the thunder of rock music, David speaks up to one of his guests, “You’ll have to throw that cup away, if you want to go in.”

“It’s only Pepsi, you can smell it if you want?” is replied.

“I’m sorry!” David responds, “… there is no alcohol allowed in the club and I’ve caught too many kids trying to sneak it in, you’ll have to toss it.”

OK, I have to step off my opinion seat for a moment. I see it as clear as day, all the street parties I attended in my teens, all unsupervised, all flowing with beer and harder drink, and all ending in troubled disaster.

Kids are kids, if they rock and roll, they will rock and roll, supervised or not. And again I am not saying that this is the path of my child or a path that I am encouraging any kid to follow. But what I am saying is David is on the right side of the fight to protect our kids.

I ask him of his council for the world, “Treat others like you would like to be treated yourself.”

The “Golden Rule.” We’ve heard it from countless friends now, friends who range in all aspects of race, gender, political views, religions, age and socio economic circumstances.

David grew up in the San Fernando Valley, right next door to my wife’s neighborhood of youth. He has seen the same changes in the culture of today’s youth as I, and many of us have, and he shares the same concerns for the kids of today and for their future.

“Kids are smart these days,” David states as he introduces me to one of his regular guests.

And in my brief conversation with said guest, I witness a kid who is not intoxicated, not rebellious, or out to chaise vice of any kind. I just chat with a good kid burning off the energy of youth. And in the way David speaks of respect towards him demonstrates to me again, that this club owner of a man, has only the best of intentions for the many teens that enter the walls of his establishment.

In David’s words, “Cobalt Café give’s the kids a creative outlet.

People need to be able to be creative and to express themselves. With the cutbacks, and politics, the schools are not doing that anymore. They are doing exactly the opposite in pulling out the arts and culture.”

The future is not looking good…” David statures, “…but on the other hand, the world is getting more aware of it.

And the way the kids are connected 24/7; they are able to communicate as never before. It’s not like when I was a kid; I remember we had answering machines. That was it. It was how we stayed in touch. If we could not meet or talk, we’d leave a message and catch up when we could.

It’s way different now, and I’m not sure if that is a good or bad thing.”

The question is at hand, and the stage is set. There is no way we can ignore what our youth is up against as they grow to adulthood. But one thing is certain; we all need to whatever we can to guide them well in keeping there eyes and mind towards one another and not the addictive texting keypad.

In meeting David, I am prompted to opened my views of the youth night scene, and in doing so, have challenged myself with a question. If my daughter were to stray, would I rather have her hanging on the streets, or in the Cobalt Café?

To me the answer is revealing. For in observing the young patrons at the Cobalt doors, I know that a standard prevails. A standard that is greater than the storm of vice or even worse situations.

A standard that is set by proprietor David: No Drink, No Drugs, No Violence, and definitely no disrespect for each other.

The “Golden Rule” has scored again.

Rafael quotes Anne Rice, “While you are here nothing matters except to love and to learn.”

“Life has its ups and downs…” Rafael references as part of his outlook on life, “… I’m curious, it gets me into trouble sometimes, but it’s been a lot of fun.

As long as we are doing something we love in our life…as a job or hobbies or whatever, it not only gives us happiness, but it also tends to bring awesome people into our life that have something wonderful to teach us. And, so long as we are with great people, family and friends that inspire and support us while working on our passion…Happiness is never behind.
”

There is this little boutique that I have been curious to visit for some time, it bears no upscale address, is not stocked with designer labels, or stands large in square footage or presence.

In contrast, it is tucked away… on a lightly trafficked side street… in a not so fashionable Canoga Park district.

And although its inventory is modest, it moves merchandise more valuable than the sum whole of any highly priced outfit.

They call it “All About U”, owned by stylist/artist Ernesto and home to co-shop keep, the above-introduced friend of the day…Rafael.

Rafael talks of love and of respecting others, “We must learn acceptance in general… To everyone in our surroundings and of ourselves, without that, there is no way we can love anyone at all.”

That acceptance is core to the secret of All About U, the store emanates this welcoming voice as a beacon for community connection; a voice that Rafael carries, and a voice that Ernesto also publishes. Both are artists and advocates for the arts and a united culture.

“Are you coming to the art walk?” Ernesto asks.

It seems that every year all the local business come together in producing an Art Walk between the months of May and September to not only display their goods, but more importantly, to bring the community together.

And it is this feeling of community awareness that has drawn me into All About U this day. Its presence is as palpable as a sip of water, and this care for the world reveals itself in the attitude that fills the store.

Rafael talks of energy and of how good attracts good, “Energies fluctuate depending on the mood of a person, and I’ve noticed that similar energies attract similar energies…

… And what people do is really a reflection of who they are, a reflection of themselves.”

Rafael describes himself, “I’m a living breathing contradiction.

My likes and dislikes tend to contradict.”

As Rafael says, “I’m curious, it gets me into trouble sometimes, but it’s been a lot of fun.”

And that backed by Anne Rice’s advice on loving and to learning could possibly be a key to the fountain of unity.

Curiosity… a great genesis to listening; Love… a powerful facilitator to compassion; and Learning… the greatest catalyst to understanding.

Rafael sums it up, “In life we are all drawn to people who are similar.”

A life view that is highlighted in two of his art pieces, mannequins covered with collage and written word.

They each carry a message:

“To be or not to be… just be”

And

“What makes you different… makes you beautiful.”

I agree with Rafael’s mannequins. Seems they are asking us to be ourselves, to love who we are, and linking that to Rafael’s suggested perspective on the attractive energy emitted by every individual, may I suggest a shift in store title…

“It’s All About Us.”

And Rafael; keep living, stay breathing and by all means… don’t stop contradicting. That’s what makes you who you are… and that’s a good thing, my friend.

It’s not often that one of our new friends takes the time to promptly email us their words. And, today is just one of the instances. With that, it would be completely wrong for me to edit or rewrite in any way.

So without further delay, the written words of today’s stranger turned friend John.

“I think one of the things in life that we should seek out is a measure of balance.  Now I believe there are many different avenues to attaining balance, but what I’ve found works for me is through maintaining positivity and having an understanding that we are not perfect but we as a people, are all in this life together, therefore we are united in a manner of speaking, despite our differences.  And I think if we just make an effort to be good to each other and helping each other through this life, we can bring about many positive changes to ourselves, and everyone around us.

However, I think we should also look to bring balance not only to ourselves, but to the world, and all other forms of life that have just as much of a right to be here as we do.  We can get closer to bringing this balance by working together as opposed to competing with each other.  The ideologies of competition, war, and authority are outdated and obsolete because technology has evolved to the point where those ways of thinking are no longer necessary.  I think if we’re able to be responsible and use technology as a means to educate, create, and restore as opposed to impose and destroy, the possibilities for a brighter future for all people is a definite reality.  And when we are able to focus on creating a future for our children and their children’s children, we are that much closer to finding balance.”