Friend? An extremely actionable word. A one-syllable call to thought and deed that lives equally persuasive as both noun and verb—a consideration I hope makes us think about all those who have been part of our lives to this point, or deeper yet, in how we view those we pass by each day. 

All thoughts that, as I prepare to reconnect with my friend of the past, Hank (it’s 1:34 PM as I author this portion of this narrative—he and I are planning to have an online meet at 2:30 PM), I’m pulled to inventory the shadows of my life, and as I do, prepare myself to open my heart to any pasts he wishes to share.

It’s a funny thing to take a pause in looking back and ponder forward. A process that, for me sometimes gets blurred by the comparisons, expectations, and perceptions that no matter how hard I work to overcome, still find ways to influence me (and I invite you to share in the comments how it is for you).

So today, as I reconnect with what seems like a friend of the past, I realize the impact he has upon me at this moment. In this statement, I reach out to you for your reflection. For as we share the story he is about to expose, and although the passageways of life, circumstance, and geography have distanced Hank and I, the little voice inside is telling me we are about to dig into more than shadows of days we have lost…

…It’s now 2:30 as Hank logs into my link. Retired now, he sits in the comfort of a ranch-style wooden log house. Home to the life he has carved in partnership with his wife and long-time companion Dee, their 2 children, and 3 dogs. And like me, Hank is over the age of 60. A person not old, yet aged enough to have lived through quite a bit. A person, who still trying to figure out his purpose, is in my opinion, just hitting his prime. A prime where he openly realizes his blessings, but as he does, chooses to point his heart toward those around him, and today as we get to know him, even us.

At first glance, it would be easy to label Hank as privileged. Tempting to profile him as a person of wealth whose path has been an easy street. But under the skin, the story of Hank is quite different. Sure Hank has achieved a degree of professional and personal success, but just like all of us, he has faced his demons.

“It does not define who I am,” Hank humbly states as he releases a phantom in his closet. A statement qualifying his intentions to not be cliché in his admission. That ghost? Opioid Addiction.

“My friends would often ask me, “If I was being 100% Hank? Meaning a bit more euphoric that my normal self.” 

“At first, it was euphoria, and I knew the risk I was taking. but then it quickly turned to control me. The good feeling left, and the back pain it was originally prescribed to numb returned. That’s when I knew I was in trouble.” For years Hank battled the addiction. Told no one as he dealt with the conflict of pain and shame. And as the doctors labeled his condition as a dependency, his pain grew from physical to emotional. “I knew if I continued taking it, it was going to kill me.” A realization that smacked him in the face when pharmacists began to reject his prescriptions. “I just sat in my car. Angry, and feeling the sickness of withdrawal. And it ain’t pretty ” He recalls.

“I’m not ashamed to share my story, and I hope it can help at least help one person,” he tells me.

Sure, Hank looks like the privileged guy, even is in a lot of ways. But in introducing him to you, I promise he is not that. For in his heart is a man who cares about those around him–regardless of who they are or what they believe. A man who is doing what he can to be transparent, and a man who is using his means to support others.