I don’t know how you wake up, but for me, it is a 3-to-6-round series of 8 minutes snooze buttons. Maybe I’m a lazy riser, or maybe I just like my morning half-dream time. Whatever it is, it has stopped happening since I recommitted to this blog journey. Moreso, my internal alarm clock has now kicked in. Seems to be ringing in my head at a regular 4 to 5 A.M. And today, as I nudged my spouse, “Hey, are you up?”—a gesture I hoped would lead to some mindless early morning snuggle time. I rolled to my side and rubbed the fog from my eyes, “Good morning.”

I don’t know about you, but for us, and sadly, our morning ritual has become (Steve Jobs, thank you) a time to check our text messages and news feeds. I know, a terrible habit. Definitely, a romance buzz-kill. But never-the-less, the day has begun and we’re off and running. The first conversation topic: Fake news. Then to dealing with the death of friends, followed by spirituality, higher power, and where we are going after this life. That jumped to how we view each other, the worth of a person, and what we can learn from our differences.

At the center of our discussion: The whys of judgment, the whys of fear, the whys of bias, and why many have difficulty facing topics and people uncomfortable to them. To up the ante, even the whys that motivate her and me. A conversation that, in the end, became generalized to one specific point: We are not here to judge. We are here to serve. 

I know, a highly optimistic and perhaps overly simplified statement. The complexity of this living experience is extreme, and wearing rose-colored glasses is not a realistic suggestion; surely not a wise and safe thing to do in many situations. Yet could it be that in this generalization can be found an actionable linking point? Even a point allowing us to pause in considering a unifying precept:

Could it be that inside all of us are unpublished moments or experiences that are not that good? The painful stuff we hide or have trouble facing. The things that the world, and more often ourselves, identify as damage—an idea that is at least an acknowledgment enabling an empathetic outlook regarding the “why” we are studying.

I often speak of the mirror we look into. Direct us toward deep consideration to face feelings that quite possibly are ones we don’t want to. And to be fair, I’ll be transparent in restating that these are my observations (all gained throughout my life and augmented by the last decade of research and experience in meeting countless strangers). Outlooks and words influenced by my hidden gifts and baggage. But in the end, could it be that in this admission, mixed with the same consideration toward others, is a plausible starting point we can each examine as we do our part to drop the barriers that reach to divide us? 

I wish I had a more concrete toolset for facing the considerations above—an impossible task to accomplish because of the vastness of the cultures and experiences that we each are living. But one thing I know is this: That as we explore the “BIG WHY,” the more we look beyond our fears, the more we open our eyes and ears, and the more we control our biases and reactions, the greater the chance we have in better seeing others, and as I often say, even ourselves.

Alright, it’s time to start the day!

Talk tomorrow my good friends,

Richard